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1
00:00:08,043 --> 00:00:09,509
All right now.
2
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,326
Oh, "What to expect
in your eighth month.
3
00:00:12,359 --> 00:00:15,326
Indigestion, heartburn,
bloating,
4
00:00:15,359 --> 00:00:19,203
flatulence, nasal congestion."
5
00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:23,193
Oh, well, according to this,
my entire family is pregnant.
6
00:00:23,226 --> 00:00:26,373
You know, the worst part
about your pregnancy is going
to be the mood swings.
7
00:00:26,703 --> 00:00:28,343
-Oh.
-I can get very testy.
8
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:30,159
[doorbell rings]
9
00:00:30,193 --> 00:00:32,376
Oh, I'll get it.
I'll get it, sweetie.
It's okay.
10
00:00:32,409 --> 00:00:34,309
Oh, look who this is.
11
00:00:34,343 --> 00:00:37,309
Aunt Freida.
What a surprise.
12
00:00:37,343 --> 00:00:39,376
-Hi, Aunt Freida.
What are you doing here?
-Hi.
13
00:00:39,409 --> 00:00:41,409
[kissing]
14
00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:44,443
-I came by to drop off
your wedding present.
-Oh.
15
00:00:44,476 --> 00:00:47,259
Since I was not invited
to your nuptials.
16
00:00:47,293 --> 00:00:49,143
Or ensuing festivities.
17
00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:52,509
Oh, Freida,
we sent you an invitation.
18
00:00:53,043 --> 00:00:56,543
That said,
"You are invited to attend
19
00:00:56,873 --> 00:00:59,043
but forbidden
to sing, Freida."
20
00:00:59,373 --> 00:01:02,159
Well, Ma did want
to personalize
the invitations.
21
00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:05,176
I knew it was all her doing.
22
00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:06,259
She's jealous.
23
00:01:06,293 --> 00:01:08,209
She's jealous
of my singing talent
24
00:01:08,243 --> 00:01:11,043
and of my successful
business investments.
25
00:01:11,373 --> 00:01:12,409
What business investments,
Freida?
26
00:01:12,443 --> 00:01:16,143
You married a billionaire
who dropped dead
two days later.
27
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,209
All right, so a little luck
was involved.
28
00:01:19,243 --> 00:01:22,703
The point is that Sylvia
has hurt me deeply.
29
00:01:22,143 --> 00:01:23,209
Aw.
30
00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:25,259
But I'm not gonna
take this out on you.
31
00:01:26,176 --> 00:01:27,409
[sobbing] Oh, Frannie!
32
00:01:27,443 --> 00:01:31,373
You! This SOB bought
our apartment building
33
00:01:31,703 --> 00:01:33,043
and threw your father
and me out.
34
00:01:33,373 --> 00:01:35,326
However, your mother
is going to pay!
35
00:01:35,359 --> 00:01:38,209
You are horrible, Freida.
36
00:01:38,243 --> 00:01:41,309
We are never gonna have you
up to our house again.
37
00:01:42,243 --> 00:01:43,426
What house?
38
00:01:47,193 --> 00:01:49,343
Your father and I are
practically homeless.
39
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,243
We have to sell everything.
40
00:01:51,276 --> 00:01:54,176
Do you know anyone
who wants to buy
a 40-year-old couch
41
00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:57,459
which, thanks to
plastic slipcovers,
is like brand-new.
42
00:01:59,209 --> 00:02:01,309
Oh, Ma, Ma.
43
00:02:01,343 --> 00:02:03,143
You're not gonna be homeless.
44
00:02:03,176 --> 00:02:05,343
Me and Max will
take care of everything.
45
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:06,459
We figured that.
46
00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:09,209
Morty!
47
00:02:09,243 --> 00:02:11,043
Where do you want me
to put this?
48
00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:13,203
Upstairs,
near the bay window.
49
00:02:18,226 --> 00:02:19,526
♪ She was workingIn a bridal shop ♪
50
00:02:20,203 --> 00:02:21,226
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
51
00:02:21,259 --> 00:02:22,393
♪ Till her boyfriendKicked her out ♪
52
00:02:22,426 --> 00:02:24,159
♪ In one of thoseCrushing scenes ♪
53
00:02:24,193 --> 00:02:25,526
♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪
54
00:02:26,203 --> 00:02:29,209
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
55
00:02:29,243 --> 00:02:30,443
♪ So over the bridgeFrom Flushing ♪
56
00:02:30,476 --> 00:02:32,159
♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪
57
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:34,226
♪ She was there to sellmake-upBut the father saw more ♪
58
00:02:34,259 --> 00:02:36,309
♪ She had style!She had flair!She was there ♪
59
00:02:36,343 --> 00:02:37,426
♪ That's how she became ♪
60
00:02:37,459 --> 00:02:40,203
♪ The Nanny ♪
61
00:02:40,543 --> 00:02:43,873
♪ Who would have guessedThat the girl we described ♪
62
00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:45,276
♪ Was just exactlyWhat the doctor prescribed? ♪
63
00:02:45,309 --> 00:02:46,443
♪ Now, the fatherFinds her beguiling ♪
64
00:02:46,476 --> 00:02:48,543
♪ Watch out C.C. ♪
65
00:02:48,873 --> 00:02:49,293
♪ And the kidsAre actually smiling ♪
66
00:02:49,326 --> 00:02:50,393
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
67
00:02:50,426 --> 00:02:52,543
♪ She's the lady in red ♪
68
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:56,243
♪ When everybody elseIs wearing tan ♪
69
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,226
♪ The flashy girlFrom Flushing ♪
70
00:02:58,259 --> 00:02:59,359
♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪
71
00:03:09,426 --> 00:03:13,159
Oh, Niles, how am I ever
going to tell Maxwell...
72
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,543
...that my parents
are staying here?
73
00:03:15,873 --> 00:03:18,409
Quickly and
without the negligee.
74
00:03:18,443 --> 00:03:20,176
Maybe I shouldn't
tell him at all.
75
00:03:20,209 --> 00:03:22,176
How long do you think
it'll be before he notices?
76
00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:24,193
Well, not long.
He'll see her here
for breakfast,
77
00:03:24,226 --> 00:03:26,203
he'll see her here for lunch,
he'll see her here for dinner.
78
00:03:26,543 --> 00:03:28,176
So I'm figuring
I got at least six months.
79
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:29,309
[scoffs]
80
00:03:32,509 --> 00:03:36,259
Oh, darling,
don't you look beautiful.
81
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:39,193
Mmm, and that perfume.
82
00:03:39,226 --> 00:03:41,376
Oh, I haven't smelled
that perfume
83
00:03:41,409 --> 00:03:44,203
since the last time
you did something wrong.
84
00:03:44,543 --> 00:03:45,176
What did you do?
85
00:03:46,873 --> 00:03:48,703
Nothing.
86
00:03:48,143 --> 00:03:53,543
Can't a wife just put
something on sexy
to entice her husband...
87
00:03:54,509 --> 00:03:56,226
[mumbling]
...when her parents
are moving in?
88
00:03:58,043 --> 00:04:01,243
-What, darling?
-I said, can't a wife
89
00:04:01,276 --> 00:04:06,326
just say over and over again
how much she loves
her husband...
90
00:04:06,359 --> 00:04:09,176
[mumbling]
...when her parents
are moving in?
91
00:04:09,209 --> 00:04:11,209
What do you keep mumbling
into my neck?
92
00:04:11,243 --> 00:04:13,509
[sighs] Okay, all right,
I'll tell you.
93
00:04:14,043 --> 00:04:15,209
But while I'm telling you,
94
00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,459
would you please,
just focus on the negligee.
95
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:23,476
Freida bought Mom and Dad's
building and threw them out
of their apartment.
96
00:04:25,509 --> 00:04:29,043
Oh, darling, that's terrible.
Oh, I wish I had known.
97
00:04:29,373 --> 00:04:30,509
Well, we have to help them.
What are they gonna do?
98
00:04:31,043 --> 00:04:34,393
Oh, don't worry.
They already found
a new beautiful place to stay.
99
00:04:35,459 --> 00:04:37,343
Well, that's good. Nearby?
100
00:04:37,376 --> 00:04:38,509
Walking distance.
101
00:04:40,373 --> 00:04:43,159
Do you use all your closets
in here?
102
00:04:45,443 --> 00:04:46,426
No.
103
00:04:47,343 --> 00:04:48,476
Focus on the negligee.
104
00:04:55,176 --> 00:04:56,476
Well, I have to
call the agency.
105
00:04:56,509 --> 00:05:00,193
None of these models
they submitted are right
for our poster.
106
00:05:00,226 --> 00:05:01,409
You know, sir,
107
00:05:01,443 --> 00:05:04,393
if you need an attractive,
photogenic man on camera,
108
00:05:04,426 --> 00:05:06,393
-I can pass for--
-Hume Cronyn?
109
00:05:06,426 --> 00:05:09,209
[laughs]
110
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:11,873
[clears throat] Niles,
thank you for your offer
111
00:05:11,159 --> 00:05:14,373
but this poster really has
to sell our new show.
112
00:05:14,703 --> 00:05:17,476
We need someone virile,
someone who exudes masculinity.
113
00:05:17,509 --> 00:05:19,259
Oh, well,
then there's your man.
114
00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:24,159
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, sweetheart.
115
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:26,459
Have you found your virile,
masculine model yet?
116
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,143
Not yet, no.
We shoot tomorrow.
117
00:05:29,176 --> 00:05:32,203
Oh. Well, maybe Michael
will know someone.
118
00:05:32,543 --> 00:05:33,276
Honey?
119
00:05:36,276 --> 00:05:37,526
How you doing? What's up?
120
00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:39,326
Margaret.
121
00:05:39,359 --> 00:05:41,326
Maxwell, let me handle this.
122
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,409
You're hired.
123
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,309
The job pays $5000.
124
00:05:45,343 --> 00:05:46,343
Sorry, Hume.
125
00:05:51,543 --> 00:05:52,426
Well, I don't care.
126
00:05:52,459 --> 00:05:55,493
All those models live
hand-to-mouth.
127
00:05:55,526 --> 00:05:58,326
At least I have skills
to fall back on.
128
00:06:05,209 --> 00:06:06,476
Morning, Ma.
129
00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:08,393
Good morning, darling.
130
00:06:08,426 --> 00:06:12,526
Oh, I'm so happy
that you're going to be here
all the time.
131
00:06:13,203 --> 00:06:15,703
I forgot what it's like
living with my mommy.
132
00:06:15,143 --> 00:06:16,476
Mmm.
133
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:20,293
Darling, don't you think
your rouge is
a little orangey.
134
00:06:21,426 --> 00:06:23,543
I'm remembering.
135
00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:26,543
What's the matter?
136
00:06:26,873 --> 00:06:28,343
Sweetheart,
have you considered bangs?
137
00:06:28,376 --> 00:06:29,459
Why?
138
00:06:29,493 --> 00:06:33,203
They took 10 years
off your sister's face.
139
00:06:33,543 --> 00:06:35,426
Ma, it was the eye lift
that took 10 years off.
140
00:06:35,459 --> 00:06:38,326
The bangs just
covered up the scars.
141
00:06:38,359 --> 00:06:43,376
So... [chuckling]
Have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?
142
00:06:43,409 --> 00:06:45,703
Of course you are.
143
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,259
Otherwise, you would be up
at the crack of dawn
144
00:06:47,293 --> 00:06:49,459
making blintzes
for your husband.
145
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:53,509
Little Miss Sleep Till 10:30.
146
00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:57,226
So have I told you how glad I am
that you're here?
147
00:06:59,226 --> 00:07:02,293
Darling, rush and bring these
to your husband.
148
00:07:02,326 --> 00:07:04,873
Tell him you made them.
149
00:07:04,159 --> 00:07:05,443
I don't need the credit.
150
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:10,873
Ma, you're doing
that thing again.
151
00:07:10,159 --> 00:07:12,443
-What thing?
-You know, that thing
that caused me
152
00:07:12,476 --> 00:07:15,276
to weigh 140 pounds
in fifth grade.
153
00:07:16,326 --> 00:07:19,376
Darling, I don't mean
to criticize
154
00:07:19,409 --> 00:07:23,203
but that man
that you married
is a prince.
155
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,476
You should wait on him
hand and foot.
156
00:07:25,509 --> 00:07:28,493
He's a big step up
from anything we thought
157
00:07:28,526 --> 00:07:30,243
you would wind up with.
158
00:07:37,493 --> 00:07:40,373
Oh, good, more blintzes.
159
00:07:40,703 --> 00:07:42,426
-They're delicious.
-Thank you, darling.
160
00:07:42,459 --> 00:07:44,226
Fran made them.
161
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,459
What's the matter?
You look so tense.
162
00:07:50,493 --> 00:07:53,309
Oh, no, I just got
a slight headache.
That's all.
163
00:07:53,343 --> 00:07:57,203
Oy, let Mamala
take care of that.
164
00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,359
No, really, it's fine.
Really, it's....
165
00:07:59,393 --> 00:08:01,409
Ooh, that does feel good.
166
00:08:02,376 --> 00:08:05,276
Oy, you have beautiful hair.
167
00:08:05,309 --> 00:08:08,193
Morty had gorgeous hair
like this.
168
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:11,443
Till he lost it
at the Pirates of the Caribbean.
169
00:08:11,476 --> 00:08:13,873
Whoosh!
170
00:08:19,509 --> 00:08:21,326
Hey, Fran,
about your mother?
171
00:08:21,359 --> 00:08:23,393
What? I said I was glad
she's here!
172
00:08:25,276 --> 00:08:27,543
Yeah, I can see that.
173
00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:30,209
Oh, your father was right.
Your father was right.
174
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:34,373
Oh, this was a big mistake.
I've already had three muffins,
175
00:08:34,703 --> 00:08:36,543
a box of cereal,
and about 16 puddings,
176
00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:37,526
and I've only been with her
20 minutes today.
177
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,343
Hey, Fran,
what does it mean
when your mother says
178
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:44,259
she likes your sweater
but on somebody else?
179
00:08:44,293 --> 00:08:47,243
It means I gotta get her
out of this house.
180
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,459
You know, it'll be fine.
181
00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:51,373
It's all for the best
because I'll be happy.
182
00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:52,409
And you know what?
Your father will
be even happier.
183
00:08:52,443 --> 00:08:55,259
Because he wants her out
even more than I do.
184
00:08:56,376 --> 00:09:02,343
♪ Climb upon my kneeSonny Boy ♪
185
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:06,359
♪ Though you're forty-threeSonny Boy ♪
186
00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:21,243
Honey?
187
00:09:21,276 --> 00:09:23,209
Oh, where's Max?
188
00:09:23,243 --> 00:09:26,543
Your mother took him to Sears
to have his portrait taken.
189
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,259
Boy, are they getting clingy.
190
00:09:31,293 --> 00:09:33,873
You know, I didn't realize
when I married Max
191
00:09:33,159 --> 00:09:35,373
that I was marrying
my whole family too.
192
00:09:36,459 --> 00:09:39,359
You know,
I know Mr. Sheffield thinks
that I'm too old
193
00:09:39,393 --> 00:09:41,703
for the poster
for his new show,
194
00:09:41,143 --> 00:09:43,409
but perhaps
if he saw me in print.
195
00:09:43,443 --> 00:09:45,703
This is your
high school photo.
196
00:09:46,276 --> 00:09:48,159
I know, but I could
look like that again
197
00:09:48,193 --> 00:09:50,373
if the lights were
in the perfect position.
198
00:09:50,703 --> 00:09:51,243
Off?
199
00:09:53,703 --> 00:09:55,509
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.
I'm just lashing out.
200
00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:58,243
It's Ma.
She has got to go.
201
00:09:58,276 --> 00:10:01,459
Well, why don't you
just tell her that you think
it's time for her to leave?
202
00:10:01,493 --> 00:10:04,243
How can I bust up
Harold and Maude?
203
00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:08,393
I don't understand
what happened
all of a sudden.
204
00:10:08,426 --> 00:10:10,293
Why is he so attached to her?
205
00:10:10,326 --> 00:10:12,043
You met his mother.
206
00:10:12,373 --> 00:10:14,376
You saw how
she paid him no attention
at the wedding.
207
00:10:14,409 --> 00:10:16,293
-She wasn't even there.
-Hello.
208
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,373
Don't you see?
He's never been pampered before.
209
00:10:21,703 --> 00:10:23,203
Do you know that
when he was a child
and cried,
210
00:10:23,543 --> 00:10:25,426
his mother left him
out in the garden
until he stopped?
211
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,326
Oh, that's horrible.
212
00:10:27,359 --> 00:10:29,459
Yes, and you wonder
why he clings to Sylvia.
213
00:10:29,493 --> 00:10:32,426
The poor man is starved
for nurturing and affection.
214
00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:34,309
And I can only go so far.
215
00:10:36,543 --> 00:10:38,143
Oh, my poor Maxwell.
216
00:10:38,176 --> 00:10:40,459
And here I was too lazy
to get out of bed
217
00:10:40,493 --> 00:10:44,873
and make him a lousy blintz
this morning.
218
00:10:44,159 --> 00:10:45,326
Well, that's all gonna change.
219
00:10:45,359 --> 00:10:48,373
From here on in,
I am going to give him
everything
220
00:10:48,703 --> 00:10:50,373
that he was deprived of
as a child.
221
00:10:50,703 --> 00:10:52,226
Love, warmth, comfort.
222
00:10:52,259 --> 00:10:54,476
But first, I'm gonna
make up for him
being bottle-fed.
223
00:11:05,476 --> 00:11:07,193
Oh, God.
224
00:11:07,226 --> 00:11:08,359
Did Niles die?
225
00:11:10,259 --> 00:11:12,443
Honey, can't a wife
order some lunch
from a deli
226
00:11:12,476 --> 00:11:15,176
and pretend she made it
for her husband
without a big to-do?
227
00:11:16,226 --> 00:11:18,243
I'm just trying
to pamper your father.
228
00:11:18,276 --> 00:11:21,043
Well, then why didn't you make
the food yourself?
229
00:11:21,373 --> 00:11:24,043
Well, because I'm too young
to be a widow.
230
00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:27,409
Oh, he is going
to be so excited
231
00:11:27,443 --> 00:11:30,209
when I show up
at Michael's photo shoot
232
00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:33,393
with this great
special picnic basket.
233
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:37,443
Fran, these blintzes
are delicious. You have
to give me the recipe.
234
00:11:37,476 --> 00:11:41,226
Val, I already told you
that I'm pretending to make it.
235
00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:43,543
Well, let me tell you
something, girl.
236
00:11:43,873 --> 00:11:44,226
They taste real.
237
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,476
Niles, hurry up!
I'm ready to go
to Michael's photo shoot.
238
00:11:52,509 --> 00:11:56,343
Sweetie, cut the price tag off
of this afghan
that I knitted your father.
239
00:12:09,243 --> 00:12:10,309
Yo.
240
00:12:12,493 --> 00:12:16,143
Niles, Michael was the one
that got the modeling job.
241
00:12:16,176 --> 00:12:19,176
Yes, I know, but when
Carol Haney got sick
inThe Pajama Game,
242
00:12:19,209 --> 00:12:23,243
Shirley MacLaine went on
in her place and became a star.
243
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:26,043
Yeah, you know,
it's trivia like that
that really works
244
00:12:26,373 --> 00:12:29,343
against this whole
machismo thing
that you're going after.
245
00:12:29,376 --> 00:12:30,459
All right. Thank you.
246
00:12:30,493 --> 00:12:32,426
-Wish me luck.
-Good luck.
247
00:12:34,873 --> 00:12:35,259
[door closes]
248
00:12:40,703 --> 00:12:42,293
Come on then, people.
Let's see smiling.
249
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:45,703
Think fun, think passion.
250
00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:46,276
Think paychecks.
251
00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:52,203
You know,
Michael's working out
very well, Margaret.
252
00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:53,443
I'm glad we hired him.
253
00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:56,526
Yeah, but don't you think
he would look better
without those girls?
254
00:12:57,203 --> 00:12:58,526
-Uh, which ones?
-All of them.
255
00:13:00,373 --> 00:13:02,226
Oh, darling,
don't get jealous.
256
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,373
It's just work.
257
00:13:04,703 --> 00:13:05,209
Fire them, Daddy.
258
00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:11,509
When's lunch?
259
00:13:12,043 --> 00:13:14,443
Darling, you just had an Altoid.
You can't eat again
until Tuesday.
260
00:13:21,359 --> 00:13:24,409
Oh, Kaitlin,
how many times
do I have to tell you
261
00:13:24,443 --> 00:13:26,226
I'm a married man?
262
00:13:26,259 --> 00:13:29,143
I'll tell Kaitlin,
and then I'll kill her.
263
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,509
Oh, Fran, darling,
what are you doing here?
264
00:13:32,043 --> 00:13:33,259
Oh, sweetie.
265
00:13:33,293 --> 00:13:35,243
I just wanted to pop in
266
00:13:35,276 --> 00:13:39,343
and see if you're okay
and tell you
how much I love you
267
00:13:39,376 --> 00:13:42,509
and make sure
you're warm and comfortable.
268
00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:45,226
Oh, that's very sweet
of you, darling,
but I'm really very busy.
269
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:47,373
Haven't had a chance to stop.
270
00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:50,493
[sniffing] Do I smell
your mother's
kugel mit raisins?
271
00:13:50,526 --> 00:13:54,176
Oh, now,
Ma's not the only one
that can cook.
272
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:55,409
I made this myself.
273
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:58,359
Now, come sit down
and let me pamper you.
274
00:13:58,393 --> 00:14:02,043
-Mmm.
-Fran, why are
you doing this?
275
00:14:02,373 --> 00:14:07,043
Because you were left out
in the garden.
276
00:14:09,359 --> 00:14:13,209
Darling, I know that
makes sense in here,
277
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,509
but I'm out here.
278
00:14:17,226 --> 00:14:19,526
Oh, sweetie,
I love you so much.
279
00:14:20,203 --> 00:14:22,276
I just wanna fuss over you
like Ma does.
280
00:14:22,309 --> 00:14:24,373
Yeah, but if
I wanted someone
281
00:14:24,703 --> 00:14:26,259
to cook and clean
and fuss over me,
I'd have married Niles.
282
00:14:26,293 --> 00:14:30,209
Oh, and you didn't think
this look worked for me.
283
00:14:30,243 --> 00:14:33,159
Come. Come on, darling.
I have a lot of work
to do here,
284
00:14:33,193 --> 00:14:36,143
so why don't
I just finish up
and you go home,
285
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:39,393
light some candles,
and get the Jacuzzi
ready for us, hmm?
286
00:14:39,426 --> 00:14:41,159
Oh, sweetie, I'd love to,
287
00:14:41,193 --> 00:14:43,243
but, you know,
Mom and Dad booked
the Jacuzzi for tonight.
288
00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:45,243
What do you mean booked?
289
00:14:46,159 --> 00:14:47,426
They made up a schedule.
290
00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:51,493
Find that pretty irritating,
don't you?
291
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,226
No, no, I...
292
00:14:54,259 --> 00:14:56,293
I enjoy having
your mother around.
293
00:14:56,326 --> 00:14:58,526
She's a lot of fun.
She makes...
294
00:14:59,203 --> 00:15:01,459
She makes-- Well, all right,
maybe your parents
do have a few quirks.
295
00:15:01,493 --> 00:15:05,259
and sometimes I do find it
a little annoying that
I can't use my own Jacuzzi,
296
00:15:05,293 --> 00:15:07,209
my own golf clubs,
my own limo.
297
00:15:07,243 --> 00:15:08,426
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-But...
298
00:15:08,459 --> 00:15:11,703
You see, you want people
living in your house,
299
00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:14,409
then you're not gonna
always get the stuff that
you want when you want it.
300
00:15:14,443 --> 00:15:17,209
Remember when you wanted me
and Ma came walking in
301
00:15:17,243 --> 00:15:20,459
withThe Godfather,
one, two and three?
302
00:15:20,493 --> 00:15:22,243
Let's just say
for our own sake,
303
00:15:22,276 --> 00:15:24,873
I agree with you,
there's nothing
we can do about it.
304
00:15:24,159 --> 00:15:26,193
Freida kicked your mother out
and that's that.
305
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:28,373
Yeah.
306
00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:31,309
Unless we could figure out
a way to get Freida
to sing at our wedding.
307
00:15:32,159 --> 00:15:34,293
What?
308
00:15:34,326 --> 00:15:38,209
Honey, you know that camcorder
that we keep in our bedroom?
309
00:15:38,243 --> 00:15:40,176
-Yeah.
-Well, I just figured out
310
00:15:40,209 --> 00:15:42,373
a whole new way to use it.
311
00:15:42,703 --> 00:15:43,143
Love you.
312
00:15:44,326 --> 00:15:46,359
-Did you okay this concept?
-Hmm?
313
00:15:52,293 --> 00:15:53,409
[doorbell rings]
314
00:15:53,443 --> 00:15:55,543
Hurry up, Ma!
315
00:15:55,873 --> 00:15:56,343
The Good Humor man is here.
316
00:15:56,376 --> 00:15:58,209
I want toasted almond.
317
00:16:00,343 --> 00:16:03,203
That's not Ricky,
that's Freida.
318
00:16:03,543 --> 00:16:04,309
Oops! My mistake.
319
00:16:04,343 --> 00:16:06,393
-Syl.
-Free.
320
00:16:06,426 --> 00:16:08,309
Oh, well, this is off
to a good start.
321
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,493
We're on half-name basis.
322
00:16:10,526 --> 00:16:12,476
Ma, we were very insensitive
323
00:16:12,509 --> 00:16:15,543
to Aunt Freida's feelings
when we told her
324
00:16:15,873 --> 00:16:17,509
-that she couldn't sing
at the wedding.
-I was very hurt.
325
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,373
And I'm not talking to you.
326
00:16:20,703 --> 00:16:22,476
You know I have
that exact skirt
in blue.
327
00:16:22,509 --> 00:16:24,159
They make it in blue?
328
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:27,143
Well, teal,
but mine has
Western stitching.
329
00:16:27,176 --> 00:16:30,243
Ah. I don't look too good
in thatHee-Haw look.
330
00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:32,526
No, you could carry it.
331
00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:35,393
This is how
you say "I'm sorry"
in Jewish.
332
00:16:35,426 --> 00:16:38,373
I'm still not talking to her.
333
00:16:38,703 --> 00:16:41,326
But if you see one in teal,
pick me up one.
334
00:16:41,359 --> 00:16:43,193
All right.
335
00:16:43,226 --> 00:16:46,309
Since Freida wasn't
at the wedding,
I thought it would be nice
336
00:16:46,343 --> 00:16:49,326
if we all watched
the wedding video together.
337
00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:53,293
Honey, why don't
you turn it on
and we'll see it.
338
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,243
["Bridal Chorus" playing]
339
00:17:09,243 --> 00:17:12,143
She looks so beautiful.
340
00:17:12,526 --> 00:17:14,193
[blowing nose]
341
00:17:15,259 --> 00:17:16,409
What the hell is this?
342
00:17:18,493 --> 00:17:21,043
That's your ticket home, Ma.
343
00:17:21,443 --> 00:17:24,203
["Hava Nagila" playing]
344
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:25,259
[rhythmic clapping]
345
00:17:27,509 --> 00:17:30,193
[singing in Hebrew]
346
00:17:45,203 --> 00:17:48,043
Listen, I don't wanna sayanything,
347
00:17:48,373 --> 00:17:51,159
but could this chickenbe drier?
348
00:17:51,193 --> 00:17:54,703
I'll take the dry chickenover the fishy salmon.
349
00:17:54,143 --> 00:17:55,443
Mmm. Mmm.
350
00:17:55,476 --> 00:17:59,509
I don't know about you, girls,but my sea bass is delicious!
351
00:18:00,043 --> 00:18:01,459
[laughing]
352
00:18:06,526 --> 00:18:10,373
"Hey, why doesn'tAunt Freida sing? She'sbetter than Lisa Minnelli."
353
00:18:10,703 --> 00:18:12,259
-Liza. Liza Minnelli.-Liza Minnelli.
354
00:18:14,203 --> 00:18:15,243
[Fran as Sylvia]
I'll have you know,
355
00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:17,159
Freida's the best singerin the world
356
00:18:17,193 --> 00:18:20,459
and anyone who disagreescan settle it with me!
357
00:18:20,493 --> 00:18:24,343
Oh, I have a little requestfrom my darling Sylvala
358
00:18:24,376 --> 00:18:27,343
who's always beenlike an older sister to me.
359
00:18:29,203 --> 00:18:30,143
Hit it.
360
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:32,543
[playing piano]
361
00:18:35,459 --> 00:18:39,493
♪ I remember you ♪
362
00:18:39,526 --> 00:18:45,276
♪ You're the one who madeMy dreams come true ♪
363
00:18:45,309 --> 00:18:49,443
♪ A few kisses ago ♪
364
00:18:51,443 --> 00:18:58,203
♪ I remember tooA distant bell ♪
365
00:18:58,543 --> 00:19:03,543
♪ And starsThat fell like rain ♪
366
00:19:03,873 --> 00:19:07,873
♪Out of the blue
367
00:19:09,373 --> 00:19:12,326
♪When my life is through
368
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:18,359
♪ And the angelsAsk me to recall ♪
369
00:19:18,393 --> 00:19:25,043
♪ Oh, the thrill of it all ♪
370
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:28,509
♪ Then I shall tell them ♪
371
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:34,159
♪ I remember ♪
372
00:19:34,193 --> 00:19:39,509
♪ You ♪
373
00:19:41,276 --> 00:19:42,343
[people applauding]
374
00:19:42,376 --> 00:19:43,393
Thank you.
375
00:19:43,426 --> 00:19:45,226
[sobbing]
376
00:19:45,259 --> 00:19:48,376
-My God, Freida,
that was beautiful.
-Thank you.
377
00:19:48,409 --> 00:19:51,343
Unfortunately,
you can't stop after one number.
378
00:19:51,376 --> 00:19:54,226
There's a Gershwin medley,
a salute to Kander and Ebb--
379
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:56,459
Oh, Ma, would you just say
"I'm sorry" to Freida?
380
00:19:59,276 --> 00:20:02,193
Does the teal skirt come
with a matching jacket?
381
00:20:10,159 --> 00:20:13,493
I think so,
but I can't promise
that it has Western stitching.
382
00:20:26,873 --> 00:20:29,193
Well, darling, you know,
I have to admit,
I'm gonna miss your mother
383
00:20:29,226 --> 00:20:30,476
when she leaves.
384
00:20:32,259 --> 00:20:35,343
♪Climb upstairs with meSonny Boy
385
00:20:36,476 --> 00:20:39,459
♪The Jacuzzi's finally freeSonny Boy
386
00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:48,373
Love, warmth, comfort.
387
00:20:48,703 --> 00:20:51,703
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being breast-fed.
388
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:04,703
Love, warmth, support.
389
00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:06,309
But first I'm gonna make up
for him being breast--
390
00:21:09,176 --> 00:21:11,176
[laughing]
391
00:21:11,209 --> 00:21:13,293
Love, warmth, comfort.
392
00:21:13,326 --> 00:21:16,373
But first, I'm gonna make up
for him being bottle-fed.
393
00:21:19,493 --> 00:21:21,293
[screaming excitedly]
394
00:21:46,143 --> 00:21:47,443
[theme music ends]
30634
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