All language subtitles for The.Nanny.S06E04.720p.HMAX.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_track3_eng

[music playing]

Yetta.

What are you still doing here?

This is exactly where I left you
when I went to bed last night.

Your grandfather's
supposed to pick me up.

Oh, sweetie.

Grandpa passed away.

-When?
-Well, 1973.

Come on, sweetie,
you gotta go home.

To who? My husband's dead.

Come on, Yetta,
we're having company.

Maxwell's late wife's parents
are coming

and it's always best
that new people

only meet one Fine per sitting.

-I completely understand.
-Good.

I'll be out of here
as soon as Grandpa picks me up.

There's Grandpa now.

Where have you been?

Oh, sweetheart,

Sara's parents
are gonna be here any minute.

All right. What are you
so nervous about?

I thought you said they were
thrilled when you told them
we got married.

Well, darling, I lied.

What do you mean?
You didn't tell them?

Are you ashamed of me?
Am I embarrassing to you?

Why aren't you answering?

Oh, sweetheart,
you're very special.

You're-you're an acquired taste

like, uh, Feta cheese.

You're comparing me
to smelly Greek cheese?

Sweetheart,
these are Sara's parents.

This is a very sensitive
situation for them.

I mean, in their minds,

you're, in effect,
replacing their daughter.

So I wanna
break it to them gently.

Who compares a wife to cheese?

All right, forget the cheese.
You're not a cheese.

You're a beautiful, vibrant,
sexy, charming woman.

Now, they're gonna be here
any minute.

I want you to make
a good impression.

-So please get out of that robe.
-All right.

What do you think
they'll think of this?

I don't know.
Why don't you ask them?

[theme song playing]

♪She was working
In a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens

♪'Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out

♪In one of those
Crushing scenes

♪What was she to do?
Where was she to go?

♪She was out on her fanny

♪So over the bridge
From Flushing
To the Sheffield's door

♪She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more

♪She had style! She had flair!
She was there!

♪That's how she became
The Nanny

♪Who would have guessed
That the girl we described

♪Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed?

♪Now, the father
Finds her beguiling

♪Watch out C.C.!

♪And the kids
Are actually smiling

♪Such joie de vivre

♪She's the lady in red

♪When everybody else
Is wearing tan

♪The flashy girl
From Flushing

♪The Nanny named Fran!

[music playing]

Oh, that was so embarrassing.

I'm so humiliated,
although he had
a smile on his face,

but I think
she was a little stand-offish.

Well, darling,
I smoothed things over,
I think, when I told them

the naked nanny
in my living room
is now my naked wife.

I just hope she didn't hurt her
head when she passed out.

You just have to give them time.

I know-I know they can be
a bit abrading, but--

What?

-Pains in the tuchus.
-Oh.

When you marry someone,
you're rather stuck
with the parents.

Oh, that's true. I mean,

how often are you blessed
with a Morty and a Sylvia?

Once in a lifetime, darling.

Well, I'm not concerned.

We'll win them over,
and just to cinch the deal,

how about if we take them
to Wiley's Ribs?

We'll order the onion loaf,
go the whole nine yards.

I'm not so sure
that's a good idea.

Why? They're not good
with the fried?

No, it's just that
Sara's parents

aren't really the ribs,
beans and slaw types.

They like to end their meals
with a liqueur, not a wet nap.

Oh, excuse me.

I just thought that it would be
a nice way to celebrate

after we sign the adoption
papers for the kids on Friday.

Ah, yes, well,
now, um, about that.

Uh, you see, we've just
told them we're married.

I don't want to overwhelm them

with too much good news
all at once.

What, are you saying?
Do you think they're gonna
have a problem

with me adopting
their grandkids?

No, no, I'm sure
they won't have a problem.

It's just I think
it would be better

if we maybe put off telling them

till you've really impressed
them with your charm

and your warmth and elegance.

I gotcha.
I see where you're coming from.

So tell me, what do you think?
Should I wear this?

[music playing]

Oh, my God, what a mess.

This is how you plan
to impress Sara's parents?

What did you cook?

Juice.

Plus I managed to save
three whole muffins.

-What about these others
with the icing?
-Oh, don't touch those.

That's fire extinguisher foam.

Don't worry.
Don't you worry about a thing.

I've got it all under control.

I'm just waiting
for the bell to ding.

-[bell dings]
-Done.

-Hi.
-Hi. Here you go.

-Okay.
-That'll be $85.

Oh, 85. Wowie.

Here you go.

-Thank you. Keep the change.
-Thanks.

I can't believe you spent
85 dollars for breakfast

just to avoid cooking.

I spend 30 at the IHOP.

Twenty at the diner
if Shirley's on the counter.

Are you telling me
those delicious, fluffy pancakes

with the pineapple smile
you don't make?

Do you think if I had
the foresight to come up with

the pineapple smile concept,
I'd keep this swell job?

I haven't cooked a breakfast
in this kitchen in six years

that they haven't gone nuts for.

Sara's parents
are beginning to wonder

how much longer they're gonna
have to wait for breakfast.

Breakfast is always made much
quicker when Niles orders it.

-You knew?
-Oh, please.

Like you'd have the smarts
to come up with that
pineapple smile concept.

Well, the sausage patty yarmulke
for Rosh Hashanah

was a Niles exclusive.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry that
breakfast is taking so long.

I just want everything
to be so right.

I mean, while they're here,

I just want to come across
as the perfect wife and mother.

And after they're gone?

Don't hurt my feelings,
I'm injured.

Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

Listen, I want you to
go in the dining room,

gather everyone together
in the dining room.

And while you're there,
maybe you can smooth over

that little faux pas
you made with Roberta.

What faux pas?
I would think that

if I had a hair
growing out of my chin,

I'd want someone to tell me.

[music playing]

I was just telling
Roberta and Ernest--

Oh, well,
after what you saw today,

I think I can call you
Bert and Ernie.

-What is this?
-A Band-Aid?

Oh, and we have a winner.

I like to keep the kids
entertained.

I don't think
it's going very well.

-Hi.
-Oh, this ought to
pick things up.

I was in the vicinity
picking up Metamucil

for your father, Morton.

Oh, I see you have company.

Uh, Sylvia,
these are our grandparents.

Oh! Uh, I'm Fran's mother,

Sylvia Ray Fine.

-Ma. Go.
-No.

Sweetheart, aren't you gonna be
late for the museum?

-What?
-Mrs. Sheffield loves

taking the children
to the museum

and other cultural activities.

What museum are you going to?

Uh, it's Brighton's day to pick.

Oh, um ,well, we're going
to the Whitney Museum.

She's got a museum?

I wonder if they're gonna have
that metallic outfit

that she wore inThe Bodyguard.

[music playing]

-Hi.
-Oh, you're home.

How was the museum?

Oh, well, first of all,
you know,

they have these
little electronic eyes.

So if you as much as
touch a painting,

all these big alarms go off.

Do I really need to tell you
the rest of the story?

Oh, Niles, what's wrong with me?

-Why can't I fit in?
-Because you're like me.

We're movers. We're shakers.

We're creative people
who live outside the box.

Look what I came up with.
Velcro pot holders.

Oh, Niles, I don't know
how to tell you this

but they have those
in all the stores.

Oh, great.

You tell one big-mouth cashier
at Pottery Barn.

What am I gonna do?

I really want Sara's parents

to feel comfortable with me
raising their grandkids.

Oh, give up, Nanny Fine.
You're never gonna
win them over.

They prefer a woman like me.
A woman of--

Sixty.

You're a real riot, Niles.
Here's a punch line for you.

Yetta, your husband's in here!

Oh, God.

Oh, look at him go.
He can't wait.

I'll surprise him.
I'll take the elevator.

The elevator's
out of order, Yetta.

Oh!

Poor Nanny Fine.

I wish I could help,

but I won't.

Because you have him,
I don't, and I want him.

You know, Miss Babcock...

I think that herbal Prozac

doesn't have quite
the same kick as the real.

Don't you worry about me,
Nanny Fine.

I'll be very calm tomorrow night

after I have martinis
with Roberta and Ernest

before I take them
to the symphony.

Well, it just so happens...

that I have plans
to take them out

for cocktails
and entertainment tonight.

You're not the only one

that knows how to impress,
girlfriend.

♪Ain't no mountain
High enough

♪Ain't no valley low enough

♪Ain't no river wide enough

♪To keep me from you

♪Ain't no mountain
High enough

♪Ain't no valley low enough

♪Ain't no river wide enough

♪To keep me from you

She don't know the words.
[laughs]

♪Ain't no mountain
High enough...

This is horrendous.

I'm getting the check.

Oh, look, Nana's waving at us.

She loves me.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen,

staff here at
Ping Chow Restaurant,

this Friday is a very special
day for our little family.

Nana Roberta, Papa Ernest.

I know that I could
never replace Sara.

And I never want to try.

But I love these kids so much.

And that is why on Friday,

I will officially adopt them.

Over my dead body!

-♪Ain't no mountain
High enough
-Ah!

-♪Ain't no valley low enough
-[cries]

-♪Ain't no river wide enough
-[cries]

-♪To keep me from you
-[cries]

[music playing]

How could they be contesting
the adoption?

On what grounds?

They think
you're an unfit mother.

Unfit? I'm in the best shape
of my life.

Oh, no, I know
what this is all about.

They don't like my people.

No, sweetheart,
they're not anti-Semitic.

They're best friends
with the Rothschilds.

I meant my mother.

Nanny Fine,
I just heard the news.

Now, I know that
we've had our differences,

but this is truly unfair.

Those children
mean the world to you,

and if there is anything
I can do to help.

Well, I'll tell you
what I'm going to do.

I am going to go see my lawyer.

You do that, Maxwell.
Those people have no case.

They can't do this to you
because...

You are such a loser.

You know, Miss Babcock

I really appreciate
your Linda Tripp-type
friendship.

But my husband
is a very powerful man

and we will win.

Not before Sara's parents
get their lawyers

to prove you are not
mother material

by digging up every little thing
about your past.

Oh, what are they gonna
dig up on me?

Except something that happened
in high school

and maybe right before
I came here

and once last year.

I'm dead.

[music playing]

Ma, I'm upset.
I'm about to lose my kids.

Why don't you have anything
sweet in this house?

I got rid of it all.
I went to the doctor

and according to
my weight chart,

I should be seven foot nine.

Why don't you just
solve your problems
like other people?

Without food.

-You wanna try it?
-I'll give it a whirl.

Oh, Fran, this is so sad.

You are such a good mother
to those kids.

Why would Sara's parents
go rooting around in your past

to prove that you're unfit?

I know, Val. I mean,
I thought that

they were just gonna focus
on the things

that I teach them
that might be inappropriate.

You know,
like how to make a phony ID.

-How to change a D into a B.
-Right.

-How to return a dress
that you've worn for a year.
- Yeah.

But I didn't think that
they were gonna start looking
for bad things.

Darling, this is
a very serious problem.

I don't know. I don't know.

You know, some things
even a mother can't solve.

All right, I'm back.

Fran, you don't want
your husband to hear
about your past.

These grandparents
are rich people

and rich people can dig up
anything on anyone.

Look at this Ken Starr.

Oh, yeah, but I read that report
on what they said she did to him

and I don't believe it.

You don't think a president
would do that?

A Jewish girl
would never do that.

[clears throat]

Ma, what is in this coffee?

Cognac.

It acts like an expectorant.

And gives me a little buzz.

Oh, Val, this is just terrible.

I mean, I wish I knew what
Sara's parents were going
to find out about me.

I've done a lot of things.

Does that mean I remember them?

Well, there was that one time
you went to jail

but they let you go
when you proved

it was powdered sugar
from a doughnut
on your nostrils.

That's true.

So you spent a lot of time
in the high school
principal's office.

Was that any reason to blame you
for his divorce?

All right, Val,
you've said enough.

Remember what happened
in Acapulco?

When were you ever in Acapulco?

Uh, she means the restaurant.

Remember, Ma, you stole the dip.

Oh, sure.

Oh, I just love those kids
so much

and I want to make them
legally mine.

You know, don't rock the boat.
It's a dangerous thing.

Anyway, you know,
it's not so great having kids.

Most of my life,
I wished I didn't.

[gasps] Ma.

Did that come out of me?

Forgive me.
It's the cognac talking.

[music playing]

Fran, we don't wanna go out to
dinner with our grandparents.

If they don't like you,
then we don't like them.

How are we supposed to be nice
to people who hate you?

Oh, sweetie, they don't hate me.

Yeah, Fran,
they really hate you.

I don't understand
why you don't even
try to fight for us.

Oh, sweetie,
this is a very big decision.

I mean, it's all very confusing.

I just don't know
what to tell you.

Okay, I'm back.

Look, you guys love me,
I love you.

What does the adoption paper do?

It doesn't change a thing.

It's just a little
piece of paper.

It doesn't mean anything.

A piece of paper meant a lot
when you wanted to marry Daddy.

Well, that's different.

That's community property.

Fine, don't fight for us.
We don't want to be a burden.

We'll see each other at weddings
and, God forbid, funerals.

Oh, sweetie.

They're not taking you away.

They're just trying
to stop the adoption,
that's all.

Now, come on,
I want you to have
a nice evening

with your grandparents.

Go put on something pretty
and handsome.

Just no animal prints
or sequins.

These people have no regard
for haute couture.

You know, Fran,
if something did happen to Daddy

they could take them away,

because you're not
our legal mom.

Darling, do you think I should
go with the brown suit

or the gray herringbone?

All right, look,
I was arrested in '84.

It was powdered sugar.

And my principal
did have an affair,

but it was with Mrs. Simon.

I had nothing to do with it.

Darling, darling, darling,
what are you talking about?

Oh, sweetie,
if we go and fight in court,

they are gonna do
an investigation on me.

There are things you don't know
about me that might come out.

I mean, ugly things.

Very ugly things.

Darling, darling,
I know all about your past.

Before I hired you as my nanny,

I had you thoroughly
investigated.

-What?
-Yeah. Well,
I'm not about to trust

some stranger with my children,
am I?

Come on, didn't you...
Didn't you check me out?

I checked you out.

So you see, you have absolutely
nothing to confess.

I know everything about you.

Everything? Even my age?

Ah, actually,
that was the one thing

even the FBI couldn't verify.

The closest they could get
was 31.

Thirty-one?

Well, I guess the truth is out.

[music playing]

Listen, you guys,
we really need to talk to you

about this whole adoption issue.

Yes, we don't want to fight you,
but we will if we have to.

Now, we wanna do
what's best for the children

and what's best for them
is for all of us to be a family.

Well, if Sara were still here,
we would be.

Calm down, Roberta.
They didn't kill her.

Oh, Roberta, I don't mean to
seem insensitive.

I understand that the kids
are your link to Sara.

But my adopting them
is never going to change that.

Well, I'm sorry.

But I worry that they don't even

think about
their mother anymore.

That's not true, Grandma.

We think about Mom all the time.

And sometimes
when we really miss her

Fran puts on
old videotapes of her

and watches them with us.

And every year
on Mom's birthday,

Fran has us light
ayahrzeit

-A what?
-It's a Jewish tradition.

It sort of lights the way
to a happy afterlife.

Also in the Hebrew tradition,

we're only allowed to light
one candle

on Fran's birthday cake.

But I forget what that means.

It's in the Torah.

It's very sacred.

Roberta, Ernest,

you'll always be welcome here

and you'll always be
part of our family.

Yes.

Why don't you two join us
and the children for dinner

and we'll continue
this conversation.

[giggles]

Listen, Ernie,
is there anything that I can do

to get on Bert's good side?

Well, is there
a Wiley's for Ribs around here?

She's wild for the onion loaf.

[Fran humming]

[chuckles]

Listen, you guys,

I want you to know
that I love these children

so very much

and I promise you

that I am going to provide them

with a warm, loving,

and most of all,
stable environment.

[knocking]

What time do you open?

[Fran laughs]

Oh, please, Niles,
take pity on her.

She's old, she's lonely,

she's losing her mind.

It's just one night. One dinner.

How's it gonna kill you?

Oh, all right.

But I'm only doing this for you.

Thank you.

Come on, Babcock,
I'll let you buy me dinner.

[music playing]

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]