All language subtitles for Sex And The City S4E10 - Belles Of The Balls [RavyDavy]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 1 00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:49,520 There are a million reasons to celebrate in New York City. 2 00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:53,532 Steve no longer having testicular cancer was just one of them. 3 00:00:55,135 --> 00:00:57,569 I only have one ball left. 4 00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:04,208 I don't care who wins, it's me and you after this, buddy. 5 00:01:04,811 --> 00:01:05,800 Great! 6 00:01:05,879 --> 00:01:08,643 It all comes down to just one little ball. 7 00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:12,044 Who wants a beer? 8 00:01:17,858 --> 00:01:19,120 Samantha? 9 00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:24,759 One ball? 10 00:01:26,967 --> 00:01:30,903 - I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. Was he upset? - Embarrassed, I think. 11 00:01:30,971 --> 00:01:33,496 Nothing to be embarrassed about. He's still got one. 12 00:01:33,573 --> 00:01:35,768 Miranda, they come in a set, like earrings. 13 00:01:35,842 --> 00:01:38,936 He's doing great. I'd have been sitting at home all depressed. 14 00:01:39,012 --> 00:01:41,537 Explain that. Tell me why you'd be depressed... 15 00:01:41,615 --> 00:01:45,107 if you were perfectly healthy, but had to go through life without balls. 16 00:01:45,185 --> 00:01:46,777 I was talking to Aidan. 17 00:01:46,853 --> 00:01:50,880 Maybe it's bullshit, but I might feel like less of a man or something. 18 00:01:50,957 --> 00:01:54,393 A couple of hanging glands has nothing to do with making somebody a man. 19 00:01:54,461 --> 00:01:55,450 She's right. 20 00:01:55,529 --> 00:01:58,657 I once went out with this guy, the biggest balls I've ever seen... 21 00:01:58,732 --> 00:02:00,063 complete pussy. 22 00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:03,933 - How big? - Huge, I could barely fit one in my mouth. 23 00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:07,299 Welcome to my world. 24 00:02:07,374 --> 00:02:11,470 The irony is that I don't think women care that much about balls. 25 00:02:11,545 --> 00:02:13,843 I know I don't. Do you, Carrie? 26 00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:16,808 Except for yours, darling. I'm very into yours. 27 00:02:16,883 --> 00:02:20,046 I have never met a man who wasn't into his balls. 28 00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:22,120 "Yeah, baby, that's it. 29 00:02:22,189 --> 00:02:25,124 "Grab my big balls, lick them, pull them." 30 00:02:25,192 --> 00:02:26,921 You pull the balls? 31 00:02:27,194 --> 00:02:30,027 They like it. I went out with this guy... 32 00:02:30,297 --> 00:02:32,891 - I'm sure you did. - Wait, please let her finish. 33 00:02:32,966 --> 00:02:34,331 She's done. 34 00:02:34,468 --> 00:02:37,062 Now, I'm thinking balls are to men... 35 00:02:37,304 --> 00:02:39,067 what purses are to women. 36 00:02:39,139 --> 00:02:40,766 It's just a little bag... 37 00:02:40,841 --> 00:02:43,469 but we'd feel naked in public without it. 38 00:02:43,543 --> 00:02:44,840 Samantha Jones. 39 00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:49,941 - How are you? - Great! 40 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:52,445 Everyone, this is... 41 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,585 - Allan Jannis. - Allan Jannis, right, we... 42 00:02:56,656 --> 00:02:59,318 - Fucked! - Fucked, right. 43 00:02:59,392 --> 00:03:01,053 I knew I knew you! 44 00:03:01,361 --> 00:03:03,295 - How the hell are you? - Not bad. 45 00:03:03,363 --> 00:03:05,661 Just designed the new Richard Wright hotel. 46 00:03:05,732 --> 00:03:09,429 I've been trying to get a meeting with him for months. Who's doing his P.R.? 47 00:03:09,503 --> 00:03:12,802 - I think he's talking to Brad Rosen. - He's a hack. 48 00:03:12,873 --> 00:03:15,034 - Get me a meeting? - I'll do what I can. 49 00:03:15,108 --> 00:03:17,474 - Good seeing you... - Allan. 50 00:03:17,544 --> 00:03:18,738 I know! 51 00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:27,053 And up on Park Avenue, a different reason for celebrating. 52 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,089 So, I told him, when I hire a contractor to do a job... 53 00:03:30,156 --> 00:03:33,319 - I expect him to finish on time. - Good, honey, good! 54 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,960 Sometimes they just need to hear it from a man. 55 00:03:36,029 --> 00:03:38,361 A little more Mu Shu, my Mu Shu. 56 00:03:38,665 --> 00:03:40,132 I saw my doctor today... 57 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,431 and I told her how frustrated we were that we weren't pregnant yet. 58 00:03:43,503 --> 00:03:44,527 Wonton? 59 00:03:44,604 --> 00:03:48,335 She said that the easiest thing to do would be to test your sperm. 60 00:03:50,010 --> 00:03:52,376 Charlotte, I'm eating. 61 00:03:53,346 --> 00:03:56,679 Is it too much to ask to have my Mu Shu without a side of sperm? 62 00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:59,048 Why are you getting so mad? We're just talking. 63 00:03:59,119 --> 00:04:01,519 Hell's bells, it's only been three months! 64 00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:04,751 Why would you just leap to the conclusion that the problem is me? 65 00:04:04,824 --> 00:04:06,951 I'm not leaping to anything. 66 00:04:07,127 --> 00:04:10,460 It's just easier to test the man first. Less invasive. 67 00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:14,864 I'm sure your sperm is fine. No, it's better than fine, it's fantastic. 68 00:04:15,135 --> 00:04:18,798 This little subject matter has put me right off my dinner. 69 00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:20,632 Excuse me. 70 00:04:22,509 --> 00:04:24,409 - Honey? - Not now! 71 00:04:29,849 --> 00:04:32,044 - Do men? - Do men what? 72 00:04:32,485 --> 00:04:34,077 Like them pulled? 73 00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:36,013 How would I know? 74 00:04:36,289 --> 00:04:37,483 Do you? 75 00:04:38,925 --> 00:04:41,052 - Do I what? - Like them pulled? 76 00:04:41,227 --> 00:04:42,717 How do I know? 77 00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:46,326 Why don't we give a little tug and see? 78 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,727 You wanna give a little tug? 79 00:04:54,874 --> 00:04:57,001 You're gonna do it too hard! 80 00:04:57,110 --> 00:04:58,475 No! 81 00:04:58,545 --> 00:04:59,739 All right. 82 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,313 You were saved by the bell. 83 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,791 Bradshaw House of Pain, how can we hurt you? 84 00:05:14,327 --> 00:05:15,487 Hello? 85 00:05:16,262 --> 00:05:17,752 Man, it's me. 86 00:05:17,864 --> 00:05:20,958 I'm sorry to be calling you this late. Is Carrie there? 87 00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:22,661 Yeah, just a sec. 88 00:05:23,303 --> 00:05:24,634 Who is it? 89 00:05:25,038 --> 00:05:26,164 Hello? 90 00:05:26,239 --> 00:05:28,537 It's me, I need to talk to you. 91 00:05:28,675 --> 00:05:31,974 It's really not a good time, we're about to go to bed. 92 00:05:32,045 --> 00:05:33,103 It's important. 93 00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:35,841 Willow is totally fucking with my head, please. 94 00:05:35,915 --> 00:05:37,143 All right. 95 00:05:38,184 --> 00:05:41,915 He's having girlfriend problems. I'm gonna be just a minute. 96 00:05:45,058 --> 00:05:48,960 Apparently, dating a movie star makes you as crazy as dating anyone else. 97 00:05:49,029 --> 00:05:50,587 What's the problem? 98 00:05:50,664 --> 00:05:53,724 She's in town, at the Mercer. We were supposed to meet tonight. 99 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,700 She hasn't gotten back to me. 100 00:05:55,835 --> 00:05:56,995 Did you call her? 101 00:05:57,070 --> 00:06:00,437 Yes, I called her. I called all five of her numbers. 102 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,603 She never answers. 103 00:06:02,676 --> 00:06:04,541 Here's the thing, see... 104 00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:08,276 she can reach me, but I can't ever get her. 105 00:06:08,481 --> 00:06:11,416 - Maybe she never got... - No, you don't get it. 106 00:06:11,651 --> 00:06:13,243 She can reach me... 107 00:06:13,687 --> 00:06:16,884 but I can't get her, ever. 108 00:06:17,123 --> 00:06:20,615 - How fucked up is that? - I don't know. Very? 109 00:06:21,194 --> 00:06:23,389 I thought everything was going great. 110 00:06:23,463 --> 00:06:28,093 It was, I mean, I flew out to LA to take her to that MTV award thing. 111 00:06:28,168 --> 00:06:30,659 I'd better start feeling sorry for you soon. 112 00:06:30,737 --> 00:06:32,432 And then she totally dissed me. 113 00:06:32,505 --> 00:06:35,599 I was following her around like a goddamn dog. 114 00:06:35,775 --> 00:06:38,209 I'm just gonna be one more minute. 115 00:06:39,879 --> 00:06:42,040 Listen to this message she left me. 116 00:06:42,348 --> 00:06:43,872 I gotta go to bed! 117 00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,350 No, wait, listen. Listen to this. 118 00:06:46,419 --> 00:06:47,818 Gonna miss you. 119 00:06:47,887 --> 00:06:51,379 I can't wait until I'm in New York, in your arms. 120 00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:56,356 I'm in a New York state of mind 121 00:06:56,429 --> 00:06:58,829 "A New York state of mind"? 122 00:06:58,898 --> 00:07:01,662 It's Billy Joel, we love that song. 123 00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:03,635 - Goodnight. - Should I call her again? 124 00:07:03,703 --> 00:07:05,534 No, goodnight. 125 00:07:09,142 --> 00:07:10,473 I'm sorry. 126 00:07:11,177 --> 00:07:13,975 So, you still want me to give them a little pull? 127 00:07:14,047 --> 00:07:15,105 No. 128 00:07:15,248 --> 00:07:17,478 Why'd you take the phone in there? 129 00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:20,451 Because I know you don't like him calling here, that's all. 130 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,284 You tell me nothing's going on... 131 00:07:23,389 --> 00:07:25,186 then nothing's going on. 132 00:07:25,258 --> 00:07:27,317 You don't gotta run in a closet. 133 00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:29,318 I didn't run... 134 00:07:29,496 --> 00:07:33,364 and I went in there because I know how uncomfortable it makes you. 135 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,428 How uncomfortable it makes me, or you? 136 00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:38,796 Me, yes, I'm uncomfortable. 137 00:07:39,439 --> 00:07:42,875 - I don't want you to feel threatened. - You think I'm threatened by him? 138 00:07:42,942 --> 00:07:45,809 - No, not threatened! - I could take him. 139 00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:49,244 Who said anything about taking him? 140 00:07:49,315 --> 00:07:52,944 It's like the time Batman and the Green Hornet got in a fight. 141 00:07:53,019 --> 00:07:56,887 Everyone expected Batman to win because he's got the gadgets and the cape... 142 00:07:56,956 --> 00:08:01,222 but the Green Hornet had the moves. See, I'm the Green Hornet, I got the moves. 143 00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:03,819 Plus, I got Pete and he's like Kato. 144 00:08:04,164 --> 00:08:07,099 Aren't you, boy? Petey, come here, boy, come here! 145 00:08:07,167 --> 00:08:08,794 Who's your buddy? 146 00:08:08,868 --> 00:08:11,029 He's gonna get him. He's got him! 147 00:08:12,505 --> 00:08:16,066 - What do superheroes have to do with it? - I have no idea. 148 00:08:16,142 --> 00:08:19,441 It's a guy thing. All I know is that in order to deal with Big... 149 00:08:19,512 --> 00:08:21,878 he had to turn himself into the Green Lantern. 150 00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:24,610 - Hornet. - I don't care if he's the Green Bee. 151 00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:27,084 I just wish there was a way for Aidan... 152 00:08:27,153 --> 00:08:30,589 to really understand that he has nothing to worry about. 153 00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:34,392 Maybe I should try to get Big and him and me together. 154 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:37,623 - Did you have a plate of crazy for lunch? - We could all talk... 155 00:08:37,697 --> 00:08:41,133 and Aidan could see once and for all that I love him... 156 00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:43,294 and Big and I are just friends. 157 00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:45,166 - Carrie, I don't know. - Seriously. 158 00:08:45,238 --> 00:08:48,765 Keeping my relationship with Big in the closet only makes things worse. 159 00:08:48,842 --> 00:08:51,242 These are guys. They don't talk, they fight. 160 00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:54,075 They can't help it, it's all that crazy testosterone. 161 00:08:54,147 --> 00:08:55,614 God bless it. 162 00:08:56,249 --> 00:08:58,649 We're having Trey's sperm tested. 163 00:08:59,185 --> 00:09:01,244 Is it not doing well in school? 164 00:09:01,321 --> 00:09:04,654 We were discussing it over dinner last night and he just blew up. 165 00:09:04,724 --> 00:09:08,023 One minute he was perfectly happy, the next minute, furious. 166 00:09:08,094 --> 00:09:11,495 - That time of the month? - It's a side of Trey I've never seen. 167 00:09:11,598 --> 00:09:13,361 It's about the sperm. 168 00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:16,334 What is it with that area? It's like a minefield. 169 00:09:16,402 --> 00:09:19,132 I spent the afternoon thinking about my friends. 170 00:09:19,205 --> 00:09:22,265 Body image depression, unpredictable mood swings... 171 00:09:22,342 --> 00:09:25,869 late night phone calls obsessing about a relationship. 172 00:09:26,145 --> 00:09:28,511 Did I mention these are my male friends? 173 00:09:28,581 --> 00:09:31,311 So, maybe men and women aren't from different planets... 174 00:09:31,384 --> 00:09:33,511 as pop culture would have us believe. 175 00:09:33,586 --> 00:09:37,579 Maybe we live a lot closer to each other, perhaps, dare I even say it... 176 00:09:37,657 --> 00:09:39,284 in the same zip code? 177 00:09:39,359 --> 00:09:43,193 In view of current circumstances, I couldn't help but wonder... 178 00:09:43,263 --> 00:09:45,731 are men just women with balls? 179 00:09:46,099 --> 00:09:47,930 - Look at that. - Look at what? 180 00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:50,299 - That dog's sack! - No, thank you. 181 00:09:52,605 --> 00:09:56,439 Did you know you can't enter a dog in a dog show if he's only got one ball? 182 00:09:56,509 --> 00:09:58,374 Where'd you hear that? 183 00:09:59,012 --> 00:10:00,206 Around. 184 00:10:01,648 --> 00:10:03,878 They even make fake dog balls. 185 00:10:06,853 --> 00:10:09,083 They make them for humans, too. 186 00:10:11,724 --> 00:10:15,353 - I'm thinking about getting one. - No, Steve. Why would you do that? 187 00:10:15,428 --> 00:10:17,828 Why not? Women get breast implants all the time. 188 00:10:17,897 --> 00:10:20,730 Steve, trust me, I've been to the area... 189 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,258 and I swear to God, I wouldn't know if you had one or four. 190 00:10:24,737 --> 00:10:26,102 But I know. 191 00:10:26,339 --> 00:10:28,864 Every time I look down at my nuts... 192 00:10:29,108 --> 00:10:30,632 correction, nut... 193 00:10:32,312 --> 00:10:34,041 I look all lopsided. 194 00:10:34,113 --> 00:10:35,740 Women don't care! 195 00:10:35,915 --> 00:10:37,576 We care about... 196 00:10:37,650 --> 00:10:40,778 nice arms, great eyes, big dick. 197 00:10:41,154 --> 00:10:45,488 I have never once heard a woman say, "He had such a big, full scrotum!" 198 00:10:47,393 --> 00:10:51,625 I made an appointment, I'm talking to the doctor. Will you go with me? 199 00:10:51,698 --> 00:10:53,689 Where, testicle shopping? 200 00:10:57,136 --> 00:11:01,072 Samantha finally got her meeting with hotel magnate, Richard Wright. 201 00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:04,041 Smart, tough, a real ball buster. 202 00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:08,171 I've enjoyed meeting you, but truth be told, Ms. Jones... 203 00:11:08,247 --> 00:11:10,909 - your r�sum�'s all fluff. - Fluff? 204 00:11:10,984 --> 00:11:15,751 - It's just parties and social events. - What is it that you do in your hotels? 205 00:11:16,155 --> 00:11:17,747 Nuclear fission? 206 00:11:24,797 --> 00:11:26,196 I admit, I'm intrigued. 207 00:11:26,265 --> 00:11:28,756 If I wasn't, you would've been down in the lobby... 208 00:11:28,835 --> 00:11:31,326 having a cappuccino 10 minutes ago. 209 00:11:31,671 --> 00:11:33,195 Here's an idea. 210 00:11:33,272 --> 00:11:34,864 I'm talking to Brad Rosen. 211 00:11:34,941 --> 00:11:37,535 Maybe you two can get together and share the work. 212 00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:39,441 Five hotels, it's a big job. 213 00:11:39,512 --> 00:11:42,709 I know it's a big job. That's why I'm still here... 214 00:11:42,782 --> 00:11:45,410 and not down in the lobby having a cappuccino. 215 00:11:45,485 --> 00:11:47,783 I appreciate your offer... 216 00:11:48,087 --> 00:11:49,987 but I don't need a partner. 217 00:11:50,490 --> 00:11:52,958 Read between the lines, Ms. Jones. 218 00:11:53,259 --> 00:11:56,160 I deal with a lot of businessmen. 219 00:11:57,830 --> 00:11:59,593 What are you saying? 220 00:11:59,799 --> 00:12:02,427 That businessmen would be more comfortable... 221 00:12:02,502 --> 00:12:05,596 dealing with a woman if she were working next to a man? 222 00:12:05,671 --> 00:12:07,605 You have a lot to offer. 223 00:12:07,673 --> 00:12:11,666 You might want to consider working with a partner who isn't so... 224 00:12:11,911 --> 00:12:13,276 emotional. 225 00:12:13,713 --> 00:12:17,012 "Emotional" is just code for, "I don't want to hire a woman." 226 00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:19,483 Exactly. They're that way at my firm, too. 227 00:12:19,552 --> 00:12:23,181 - Think you're gonna cry over a legal brief. - Have you cried over a brief? 228 00:12:23,256 --> 00:12:25,486 Yes, but only in the privacy of my office. 229 00:12:25,558 --> 00:12:28,618 I cried once at the gallery, once, in 10 years... 230 00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:31,891 and from that day on it was, "Careful, don't make Charlotte cry." 231 00:12:31,964 --> 00:12:33,591 I have never cried at work. 232 00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:36,499 I fake cried to my editor when I missed a deadline. 233 00:12:36,569 --> 00:12:39,595 I told him I was having a bad time at home, but really... 234 00:12:39,672 --> 00:12:43,608 - I was having a good time in the Hamptons. - That makes the rest of us look bad. 235 00:12:43,676 --> 00:12:45,507 Boo hoo. It was 80 degrees and sunny. 236 00:12:45,578 --> 00:12:49,014 A guy gets angry in a meeting, he's a pistol, a woman, she's emotional. 237 00:12:49,082 --> 00:12:52,279 If I say anything, like, "I don't think that's hung high enough"... 238 00:12:52,351 --> 00:12:54,717 they say, "Careful, don't make Charlotte cry"! 239 00:12:54,787 --> 00:12:58,154 What does he think I'm going to do? Get my period and ruin his empire? 240 00:12:58,224 --> 00:12:59,384 Yes, men... 241 00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:02,522 Wait, let me rephrase that, some men... 242 00:13:02,628 --> 00:13:06,029 That will look much better on the court transcripts of this dinner. 243 00:13:06,099 --> 00:13:09,830 Some men are threatened by strong businesswomen. They have to find a way... 244 00:13:09,902 --> 00:13:13,133 to make her be just a woman again. Hence, "You're too emotional." 245 00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:14,230 "Hence," yet. 246 00:13:14,307 --> 00:13:18,038 I'm going back in there, guns blazing, cool, calm, collected. 247 00:13:18,111 --> 00:13:20,807 I'm going to impress that motherfucker so much... 248 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,711 he's gonna beg me to take the job. 249 00:13:22,782 --> 00:13:25,307 Just don't cry. Once, in 10 years! 250 00:13:25,384 --> 00:13:28,046 I've gotta run or I'm gonna miss my ride with Aidan. 251 00:13:28,121 --> 00:13:31,989 Then I'll have to take mass transit to the country, then there'll be some tears. 252 00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:35,186 The next day, while Aidan was tearing down the old shed... 253 00:13:35,261 --> 00:13:39,891 I was tearing through the new In Style with Big's big movie star on the cover. 254 00:13:44,437 --> 00:13:45,631 Hello? 255 00:13:46,472 --> 00:13:47,530 It's me. 256 00:13:47,607 --> 00:13:49,404 What's wrong? You sound terrible. 257 00:13:49,475 --> 00:13:52,638 Hope you don't mind my calling. I got the number off your machine. 258 00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,646 Where's area code 845? 259 00:13:54,714 --> 00:13:56,341 Upstate, we're in the country. 260 00:13:56,415 --> 00:13:57,882 On a Thursday? 261 00:13:57,950 --> 00:14:00,783 We're taking a long weekend. What's wrong? 262 00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:03,947 She broke it off. 263 00:14:04,524 --> 00:14:07,322 She said she never wants to see me again. 264 00:14:08,728 --> 00:14:11,492 - I'm so sorry. - I don't even know what I did. 265 00:14:11,564 --> 00:14:13,395 She won't return my calls. 266 00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:16,395 See, she can reach me... 267 00:14:16,736 --> 00:14:18,260 but I can't get her. 268 00:14:18,337 --> 00:14:20,066 You mentioned that. 269 00:14:23,976 --> 00:14:27,241 She's crazy, I'm telling you. She has the eyes of a crazy person. 270 00:14:27,313 --> 00:14:29,577 Man, I was such a chump. 271 00:14:30,449 --> 00:14:32,747 I really put myself out there... 272 00:14:33,553 --> 00:14:36,351 and she drop-kicked me right in the fucking heart. 273 00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:40,758 When are you coming back to the city? 274 00:14:40,826 --> 00:14:42,817 - Monday. - Not till Monday? 275 00:14:46,532 --> 00:14:47,624 Fuck. 276 00:14:53,906 --> 00:14:56,636 I'd invite you out here, but it's just so far away. 277 00:14:56,709 --> 00:14:57,937 How far? 278 00:14:58,611 --> 00:15:01,637 It's 40 minutes, you know, if there's no traffic... 279 00:15:01,714 --> 00:15:05,548 but with the weekenders and everything, I don't know, an hour, maybe even two. 280 00:15:05,618 --> 00:15:08,382 - It's Thursday afternoon. - Yeah, don't you have to work? 281 00:15:08,454 --> 00:15:11,446 I have to see you. I'll get my Jag out of the garage. 282 00:15:11,524 --> 00:15:13,549 Maybe the drive will do me good. 283 00:15:13,926 --> 00:15:17,760 I'll come up for an hour, we'll talk, and then I'll head home. 284 00:15:18,698 --> 00:15:21,292 How do I get there? Let me get a pen. 285 00:15:31,077 --> 00:15:32,476 Hey, darling. 286 00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:36,175 We gotta close these windows up. It's gonna rain. 287 00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:39,108 Did I hear the phone ring? 288 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:42,785 Who was it? 289 00:15:43,022 --> 00:15:44,512 It was Batman. 290 00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:47,418 I invited him up. 291 00:15:49,328 --> 00:15:50,955 I didn't mean to. 292 00:15:51,731 --> 00:15:53,460 I just got trapped. 293 00:15:53,699 --> 00:15:57,191 That crazy movie star lady broke up with him, he's devastated. 294 00:15:57,270 --> 00:15:59,864 He has no one else to talk to. Before I knew it... 295 00:15:59,939 --> 00:16:03,568 I was telling him to make a right at the sign for Farm Fresh Summer Squash. 296 00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:06,635 - I don't want him in my house. - I totally understand. 297 00:16:06,912 --> 00:16:09,642 He's gonna come up here, we're gonna have a quick talk. 298 00:16:09,715 --> 00:16:12,707 Then he's gonna go right back to the city where he belongs. 299 00:16:12,785 --> 00:16:13,877 Fuck! 300 00:16:17,323 --> 00:16:18,813 You're my man. 301 00:16:19,492 --> 00:16:21,016 And I love you. 302 00:16:22,995 --> 00:16:25,088 He's just a friend in pain. 303 00:16:27,066 --> 00:16:30,126 I would never do this, but he's really hurting. 304 00:16:30,236 --> 00:16:33,399 Come on, haven't you ever had a girl break your... 305 00:16:36,509 --> 00:16:40,673 He better be fucking upset when he gets here. There better be tears. 306 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:42,711 Thank you. 307 00:16:45,351 --> 00:16:46,841 Let's go, Pete. 308 00:16:49,755 --> 00:16:52,246 He's got some balls coming up here. 309 00:16:54,427 --> 00:16:58,625 The prosthesis approximates the weight, shape, and feel of a normal testicle. 310 00:16:58,698 --> 00:17:00,063 Squeeze it. 311 00:17:06,138 --> 00:17:07,469 I'm sorry. 312 00:17:08,074 --> 00:17:09,803 I dropped the ball. 313 00:17:13,979 --> 00:17:18,279 Now, it comes in four sizes. Extra small, small, medium, and large. 314 00:17:19,618 --> 00:17:21,017 I'd be a... 315 00:17:22,355 --> 00:17:23,344 Jeez. 316 00:17:24,223 --> 00:17:26,214 Miranda, what would I be? 317 00:17:29,662 --> 00:17:30,856 Medium? 318 00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:34,030 Yeah? I was thinking large. 319 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,791 I'm really not an expert. 320 00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,369 Large, then. 321 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:42,134 Medium. 322 00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:45,835 - Really? - A large-medium, Steve. 323 00:17:46,412 --> 00:17:50,872 Now, to get this model you have to enroll in a clinical trial for market clearance. 324 00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:51,939 Excuse me? 325 00:17:52,017 --> 00:17:55,384 It's not approved yet. It's still being tested for safety. 326 00:17:55,454 --> 00:17:56,921 No, Steve. 327 00:17:57,957 --> 00:18:00,858 - No. - I assure you, it's perfectly safe. 328 00:18:02,061 --> 00:18:06,293 - He says it's perfectly safe. - That's what they said about the Ford Pinto. 329 00:18:06,365 --> 00:18:09,892 Think about it, Steve. You want a Pinto near your penis? 330 00:18:16,208 --> 00:18:20,076 And in a different urologist's office, at the exact same time... 331 00:18:22,148 --> 00:18:23,172 Hi! 332 00:18:23,449 --> 00:18:26,850 Is everything okay? The nurse said you wanted to see me. 333 00:18:26,919 --> 00:18:30,116 I'm afraid our old problem has reared its ugly head. 334 00:18:30,189 --> 00:18:32,453 I can't seem to rise to the occasion. 335 00:18:32,525 --> 00:18:35,221 Let's not assume it's the same problem. 336 00:18:35,661 --> 00:18:37,891 Here, I bought you this. 337 00:18:38,964 --> 00:18:41,228 - Juggs? - I know how much you like them. 338 00:18:42,568 --> 00:18:46,095 - You knew I'd have a problem. - No, I just came prepared. 339 00:18:46,872 --> 00:18:48,066 Look... 340 00:18:49,008 --> 00:18:50,771 she's got big boobs. 341 00:18:51,944 --> 00:18:53,809 Look, so does she. 342 00:18:54,113 --> 00:18:56,081 It's the Big Boob Bonanza issue! 343 00:18:56,148 --> 00:18:58,639 - It's not that, it's... - What, honey? 344 00:19:00,219 --> 00:19:01,709 I'm afraid to. 345 00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:06,247 I don't think I can handle another problem in that area. 346 00:19:09,228 --> 00:19:11,662 Don't you worry, Trey MacDougal... 347 00:19:12,231 --> 00:19:15,997 I'm sure that you have very strong Scottish sperm. 348 00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:18,965 And if you don't... 349 00:19:19,071 --> 00:19:21,471 we can just spin them... 350 00:19:21,941 --> 00:19:23,670 and whip them up... 351 00:19:24,043 --> 00:19:27,069 and do whatever it is you sexy doctor types do. 352 00:19:27,746 --> 00:19:29,475 - That's good. - Yeah? 353 00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:32,708 Keep doing that. 354 00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:37,845 - Do that thing I like. - Which thing? 355 00:19:38,524 --> 00:19:41,220 You know, you give a little tug. 356 00:19:42,294 --> 00:19:45,092 Turned out, Trey's Scottish sperm was fine. 357 00:19:45,164 --> 00:19:47,758 No, better than fine, fantastic. 358 00:19:47,833 --> 00:19:49,198 Where's the cup? 359 00:19:49,702 --> 00:19:52,967 I have to admit, you're the best person for the job. 360 00:19:53,205 --> 00:19:55,332 But I'm not gonna hire you. 361 00:19:56,108 --> 00:19:58,736 Give me one legitimate reason why not. 362 00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:01,270 - Do I have to say it? - Yes. 363 00:20:02,147 --> 00:20:05,048 I'd like to hear the words come out of your mouth. 364 00:20:05,117 --> 00:20:07,711 Okay, you slept with my architect. 365 00:20:08,053 --> 00:20:11,079 Turns out, Samantha was wrong, men do talk. 366 00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:13,554 And I don't wanna get into all that. 367 00:20:13,626 --> 00:20:15,457 Into all what? 368 00:20:15,928 --> 00:20:19,386 It happened 100 years ago! I barely know the guy! 369 00:20:20,332 --> 00:20:23,460 And how does my personal life affect your business? 370 00:20:23,536 --> 00:20:25,595 The more accurate question would be... 371 00:20:25,671 --> 00:20:28,834 how does your personal life affect your business? 372 00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:31,041 It's too bad. 373 00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:33,510 Other than that, you had the job. 374 00:20:37,616 --> 00:20:39,106 You know what? 375 00:20:39,251 --> 00:20:42,118 If I was a guy, you would have shaken my hand... 376 00:20:42,221 --> 00:20:45,315 bought me a scotch and given me a key to an office. 377 00:20:45,391 --> 00:20:49,794 It's amazing. A man with such innovative vision can be so short-sighted. 378 00:20:52,798 --> 00:20:54,356 Ms. Jones, wait. 379 00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:58,335 But Samantha couldn't wait. She could feel the tears building up inside her. 380 00:20:58,404 --> 00:21:00,531 - Come on! - Wait, not so fast! 381 00:21:02,374 --> 00:21:04,001 - Close! - Ms. Jones! 382 00:21:07,913 --> 00:21:11,041 The next day, Richard Wright hired Samantha. 383 00:21:11,717 --> 00:21:14,117 He told her he admired her balls. 384 00:21:16,555 --> 00:21:19,422 When Big still hadn't arrived two hours later... 385 00:21:19,491 --> 00:21:21,823 I was secretly praying he'd missed the sign... 386 00:21:21,894 --> 00:21:24,089 for Farm Fresh Summer Squash. 387 00:21:25,764 --> 00:21:28,324 Then, there it was, the Batmobile. 388 00:21:40,746 --> 00:21:43,909 Maybe he doesn't wanna come in and meet your dad. 389 00:22:02,735 --> 00:22:04,669 What're you doing just sitting here? 390 00:22:04,737 --> 00:22:06,329 Waiting for you. 391 00:22:07,439 --> 00:22:09,339 Why didn't you come in? 392 00:22:12,044 --> 00:22:13,807 I don't want to go in. 393 00:22:14,279 --> 00:22:17,578 - Let's go have a drink or something. - Wanna get a drink, where? 394 00:22:17,650 --> 00:22:20,744 At a Ye Old Country lemonade stand? 395 00:22:25,290 --> 00:22:27,485 Why are you listening to that? 396 00:22:30,963 --> 00:22:34,865 Come on, turn off the car and come inside. We'll talk, all right? 397 00:22:44,309 --> 00:22:47,005 - Is he in there? - Yes. 398 00:22:47,646 --> 00:22:49,739 I can't talk about this in front of him. 399 00:22:49,815 --> 00:22:52,579 Yes, you can, and you better. 400 00:22:53,452 --> 00:22:55,317 So, come on, let's go. 401 00:22:56,088 --> 00:22:57,316 Come on. 402 00:22:58,090 --> 00:22:59,148 Shit. 403 00:23:01,126 --> 00:23:05,324 An hour and two bottles of red wine later, Big started talking. 404 00:23:05,564 --> 00:23:07,896 Unfortunately, it was mostly to himself. 405 00:23:07,966 --> 00:23:09,627 "Her luminous skin... 406 00:23:10,169 --> 00:23:13,627 "a product of vegan diet discipline." 407 00:23:14,973 --> 00:23:17,771 Vegan diet, bullshit. 408 00:23:17,843 --> 00:23:21,643 - All right, give me the magazine. - No, wait, listen to this one. 409 00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:24,706 "I'm looking for that someone special." 410 00:23:25,451 --> 00:23:28,648 She's not looking for anybody. Bullshit. 411 00:23:30,556 --> 00:23:32,490 - Any more wine? - Nope. 412 00:23:40,132 --> 00:23:43,067 "Let's go have a drink and a smoke sometime." 413 00:23:45,204 --> 00:23:47,399 You can't smoke in the house. 414 00:23:52,344 --> 00:23:53,743 That's cool. 415 00:23:55,114 --> 00:23:57,082 Guess I better head back. 416 00:23:59,718 --> 00:24:00,912 Thanks. 417 00:24:04,723 --> 00:24:05,883 Jesus. 418 00:24:06,458 --> 00:24:08,585 Look at him, he can't drive. 419 00:24:18,370 --> 00:24:20,804 What do you think you're doing? You can't drive. 420 00:24:20,873 --> 00:24:24,138 - Call my driver. - We're an hour outside New York. 421 00:24:24,209 --> 00:24:28,077 I'm in a New York state of mind 422 00:24:28,147 --> 00:24:30,672 Seen all the movie stars 423 00:24:30,749 --> 00:24:34,014 - You're gonna have to sleep on the couch. - I better not. 424 00:24:34,086 --> 00:24:36,020 He doesn't want me here. 425 00:24:39,858 --> 00:24:42,383 You can't drive. Sleep on the couch. 426 00:24:45,531 --> 00:24:46,930 That's cool. 427 00:24:50,235 --> 00:24:52,066 After the ball plan backfired... 428 00:24:52,137 --> 00:24:54,970 Miranda took Steve out to dinner to lift his spirits. 429 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,634 Here's the book I was telling you about. 430 00:24:57,709 --> 00:25:00,075 A Positive Outlook to Healing. 431 00:25:02,881 --> 00:25:05,941 - Steve, I'm starting to hit my limit. - I know. 432 00:25:07,219 --> 00:25:08,447 I just... 433 00:25:09,121 --> 00:25:12,113 I was just really counting on that fake ball. 434 00:25:13,392 --> 00:25:16,555 It's just, every time I look down there, I feel... 435 00:25:17,429 --> 00:25:18,521 What? 436 00:25:20,499 --> 00:25:23,297 This may be hard for you to understand... 437 00:25:26,572 --> 00:25:29,473 but who's gonna fuck a uni-ball bartender? 438 00:25:36,915 --> 00:25:39,941 Miranda realized the one thing she could do to help Steve... 439 00:25:40,018 --> 00:25:42,248 didn't involve books or balls. 440 00:26:16,588 --> 00:26:18,385 What's that pounding? 441 00:26:18,924 --> 00:26:20,789 Aidan's shooting hoops. 442 00:26:23,228 --> 00:26:25,196 Isn't it a little early? 443 00:26:26,231 --> 00:26:29,462 You have to go out there and make friends with him. 444 00:26:34,072 --> 00:26:36,165 What are you talking about? 445 00:26:39,011 --> 00:26:41,377 We're middle-aged men, we don't make friends. 446 00:26:41,446 --> 00:26:43,971 - We have nothing in common. - You have me in common. 447 00:26:44,049 --> 00:26:46,882 If you and Aidan don't become at least a little friendly... 448 00:26:46,952 --> 00:26:49,318 I won't be able to stay in your life. 449 00:26:57,129 --> 00:26:58,756 How do I do this? 450 00:27:00,098 --> 00:27:02,965 You're a guy, he's a guy, there's a ball... 451 00:27:03,035 --> 00:27:04,525 figure it out. 452 00:27:28,460 --> 00:27:29,688 Hey, man. 453 00:27:31,964 --> 00:27:35,491 I'm sorry about last night. I guess I got a little drunk. 454 00:27:37,302 --> 00:27:40,999 I didn't mean to come up and ruin your weekend or anything. 455 00:27:43,842 --> 00:27:45,139 You play hoop? 456 00:27:45,210 --> 00:27:48,509 Here, why don't you give me a shot? I play a little. 457 00:27:53,719 --> 00:27:56,347 A little muddy, I guess all that rain. 458 00:28:06,398 --> 00:28:10,300 - Watch it, man. That was a little hard. - That wasn't that hard. 459 00:28:27,085 --> 00:28:30,020 There they were. Batman and the Green Bee. 460 00:28:32,457 --> 00:28:33,685 Stop it! 461 00:28:39,097 --> 00:28:41,531 Stop it! You're middle-aged! 462 00:28:47,539 --> 00:28:50,064 - That dog just bit my ass! - Pete! 463 00:28:50,142 --> 00:28:53,043 And just like that, Kato stopped the fight. 464 00:29:04,523 --> 00:29:06,684 And the thing is, see... 465 00:29:07,426 --> 00:29:09,189 she could reach me... 466 00:29:09,594 --> 00:29:11,585 but I could never get her. 467 00:29:13,331 --> 00:29:15,322 Day or night, whenever... 468 00:29:15,867 --> 00:29:17,664 she could reach me... 469 00:29:17,903 --> 00:29:20,201 I couldn't get her. See? 470 00:29:21,006 --> 00:29:22,974 - That's fucked up. - Yeah. 471 00:29:24,342 --> 00:29:26,833 Somehow, the storm had passed... 472 00:29:27,245 --> 00:29:29,611 and I never fully understood why. 473 00:29:30,315 --> 00:29:34,046 Okay, maybe men and women don't live in the same zip code... 474 00:29:34,419 --> 00:29:36,387 but we're moving closer. 475 00:29:36,822 --> 00:29:38,187 Good eggs. 476 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:46,000 Subtitles conformed by SOFTITLER 477 00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:25,000 Ripped by RavyDavy part of the [RL] Crew37055

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.