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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 1 00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:51,297 For most New Yorkers, Manhattan is the center of the civilized world. 2 00:00:52,399 --> 00:00:54,367 But for a privileged few... 3 00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:57,528 Manhattan is merely a place to kill time between weekends... 4 00:00:57,604 --> 00:01:01,062 at their fashionably rustic, New York country homes. 5 00:01:01,141 --> 00:01:04,201 Wow, yeah, the place looks great. 6 00:01:04,277 --> 00:01:06,245 I was willing to forgo the privilege. 7 00:01:06,313 --> 00:01:08,747 - That's the "before" picture. - Sorry. 8 00:01:10,016 --> 00:01:11,643 That's the after. 9 00:01:12,953 --> 00:01:14,716 Could I see the before again? 10 00:01:14,788 --> 00:01:17,416 You kinda have to be there to appreciate it. 11 00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:20,119 No, I can appreciate it from here. 12 00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:24,021 Luckily you won't have to, since you're coming up there with me next week. 13 00:01:24,097 --> 00:01:25,189 I am? 14 00:01:26,032 --> 00:01:27,829 Man, I wish I could. 15 00:01:27,901 --> 00:01:31,393 But I have a meeting with my editor in town next week. 16 00:01:31,471 --> 00:01:34,304 That's all right, it's only 40 minutes away. 17 00:01:34,408 --> 00:01:38,572 You take the train in for your meeting. Then right back out when you're done. 18 00:01:38,712 --> 00:01:41,738 You've just thought of everything, haven't you? 19 00:01:41,815 --> 00:01:43,305 Pack your bags, little lady. 20 00:01:43,383 --> 00:01:46,011 You're comin' to the country with me 21 00:01:47,621 --> 00:01:50,385 That's Miranda, I gotta go. We'll talk about this later. 22 00:01:50,457 --> 00:01:53,654 - Nothing left to talk about. - Yes, there is. 23 00:01:54,227 --> 00:01:56,718 - I'll be right down. - I'm coming up. 24 00:01:58,365 --> 00:01:59,730 See... 25 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,792 I'm what you call a bona fide city girl. 26 00:02:03,036 --> 00:02:04,901 I'm a girl-about-town. 27 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:09,499 I'm the kind of girl that goes to a late movie in the middle of the week. 28 00:02:09,576 --> 00:02:11,441 - I'm crazy. - I know it. 29 00:02:12,579 --> 00:02:14,137 - Hi, there. - Hello. 30 00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:17,547 Could you tell your little pal, Steve, to call his insurance company? 31 00:02:17,617 --> 00:02:21,246 They can't find him and they think that I'm his in-case-of-emergency person. 32 00:02:21,321 --> 00:02:23,414 So, he needs to update that whole file. 33 00:02:23,490 --> 00:02:26,823 I know he wants to talk to you about some stuff, too. 34 00:02:28,895 --> 00:02:29,919 Like what? 35 00:02:30,397 --> 00:02:31,386 Some stuff. 36 00:02:31,998 --> 00:02:33,590 No, what is he gonna tell me? 37 00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:36,500 Now that Jessica's gone, he wants to start seeing me again? 38 00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:40,062 That he can't stop thinking about me? That he's still in love with me? 39 00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:42,370 Steve's got testicular cancer. 40 00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:46,344 That I'm a horrible, selfish bitch? 41 00:02:47,547 --> 00:02:50,607 Several blocks south, Charlotte also found herself... 42 00:02:50,684 --> 00:02:52,618 in a compromising position. 43 00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:55,246 Whatever it is you're doing, don't stop. 44 00:02:55,322 --> 00:02:57,347 It's a fertility exercise. 45 00:02:58,525 --> 00:03:00,356 I know a better one. 46 00:03:02,229 --> 00:03:03,253 No, not yet. 47 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:07,323 My basal body temperature reading says I won't be ovulating for another five days. 48 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,961 Perfect. That means we have five days of practice to get it right. 49 00:03:11,037 --> 00:03:12,026 No, we can't. 50 00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:16,041 You need to conserve your juices till then, so they'll be at their most powerful. 51 00:03:16,109 --> 00:03:18,043 Darling, I'm juicy now. 52 00:03:18,478 --> 00:03:20,378 I'm sorry, it's just... 53 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:24,507 we've been trying for three months, and I don't wanna take any chances. 54 00:03:24,584 --> 00:03:26,245 Can't it wait until Saturday? 55 00:03:26,319 --> 00:03:29,288 We're gonna be in Connecticut on Saturday. We promised mother. 56 00:03:29,356 --> 00:03:30,448 I know. 57 00:03:30,824 --> 00:03:34,316 But I was thinking maybe we could stay here and concentrate on this. 58 00:03:34,961 --> 00:03:36,690 She's expecting us. 59 00:03:36,930 --> 00:03:39,626 We miss the orchid show, she'll be devastated. 60 00:03:39,699 --> 00:03:43,191 Then I guess we'll just have to have sex at your mother's. 61 00:03:43,403 --> 00:03:45,803 People having sex in Connecticut? 62 00:03:46,573 --> 00:03:49,098 There's a first time for everything. 63 00:03:54,281 --> 00:03:55,646 It's no big deal. 64 00:03:55,715 --> 00:03:58,275 The doctor said it's very trendy now. 65 00:03:58,351 --> 00:04:00,979 Lance Armstrong had it, the Drew Barrymore guy. 66 00:04:01,054 --> 00:04:03,750 Everybody's getting it. It's the TiVo of cancers. 67 00:04:03,823 --> 00:04:05,620 That's right, it's no big deal. 68 00:04:05,692 --> 00:04:09,924 He's just gotta get in there and snip one of those guys out of there and I'm done. 69 00:04:09,996 --> 00:04:13,955 Good, so, then it's stage one, right? I looked it up on the net. 70 00:04:14,634 --> 00:04:16,158 Yeah, I guess so. 71 00:04:16,236 --> 00:04:18,431 You guess so? You don't know? 72 00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:23,535 What? Sure, stage one, you have the operation. 73 00:04:24,044 --> 00:04:28,174 No, stage one, the cancer hasn't spread to the lymph nodes. Has it? 74 00:04:28,615 --> 00:04:31,448 Your doctor gave you an ultrasound, right? 75 00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:34,653 - A CAT scan? - You know, I mean... 76 00:04:35,855 --> 00:04:38,756 I turned my head, I coughed. He poked around a little. 77 00:04:38,825 --> 00:04:42,056 Who is this doctor? Has he got a storefront outside Port Authority? 78 00:04:42,128 --> 00:04:43,618 No, he's nice. 79 00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,527 I got him through my HMO. 80 00:04:45,599 --> 00:04:47,396 Then he must be good. 81 00:04:48,368 --> 00:04:49,858 Steve, look... 82 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:53,230 I talked to some guys in my office who have been through this. 83 00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:55,638 - Miranda... - Don't worry, I used a pseudonym. 84 00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:58,644 They gave me the name of a specialist at Beth Israel. 85 00:04:58,712 --> 00:05:02,341 You don't have to do that. You don't have to do anything. 86 00:05:02,415 --> 00:05:04,781 I have a doctor, it's no big deal. 87 00:05:04,851 --> 00:05:07,581 Will you stop saying that? It is a big deal! 88 00:05:08,154 --> 00:05:11,521 This isn't your crazy yellow toenail. This is cancer. 89 00:05:11,725 --> 00:05:14,216 The longer you wait to find out what's going on... 90 00:05:14,294 --> 00:05:16,854 the longer we sit here having this conversation... 91 00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:20,457 the more likely it is that the cancer will spread and that you will die. 92 00:05:21,134 --> 00:05:23,534 It is a big fucking deal! 93 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,301 All right. 94 00:05:28,274 --> 00:05:31,141 I made him cry. No, first, I yelled at him. 95 00:05:31,211 --> 00:05:34,977 I yelled at my friend, the cancer patient. Then I made him cry. 96 00:05:35,048 --> 00:05:37,676 It's understandable. I mean, you just lost your mom. 97 00:05:37,751 --> 00:05:40,311 I'm sure you have a lot of pent up, residual anger. 98 00:05:40,387 --> 00:05:42,651 Maybe, but he was just pissing me off. 99 00:05:42,722 --> 00:05:45,850 Sounds like he needed the kick in the ass, which you gave him. 100 00:05:45,925 --> 00:05:47,324 You know what you need? 101 00:05:47,394 --> 00:05:51,296 A nice, relaxing weekend with me at Aidan's country house. 102 00:05:51,364 --> 00:05:53,127 You're not going, are you? 103 00:05:53,199 --> 00:05:56,726 If by "going" you mean being taken against my will and kidnapped... 104 00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:59,863 then yes, I'm going. So, enjoy me now, ladies. 105 00:05:59,939 --> 00:06:02,908 Because this weekend I'm a hick town hostage. 106 00:06:02,976 --> 00:06:05,171 I can't go, Steve has cancer. 107 00:06:05,478 --> 00:06:08,811 Somebody has to stay in town and make him feel bad about it. 108 00:06:08,882 --> 00:06:11,373 You're at the Connecticut compound? 109 00:06:13,653 --> 00:06:16,315 Come on! It's like we're living in Paris... 110 00:06:16,389 --> 00:06:18,619 and running off to Provence for the weekend. 111 00:06:18,692 --> 00:06:20,751 What is it about the weekends now? 112 00:06:20,827 --> 00:06:24,319 I swear to God, every guy I've fucked since Memorial Day wants to know... 113 00:06:24,397 --> 00:06:27,025 what I'm doing this weekend. They just don't get it. 114 00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:29,330 My weekends are for meeting new guys... 115 00:06:29,402 --> 00:06:31,563 so I don't have to fuck the old ones. 116 00:06:31,638 --> 00:06:33,230 That's a no, I guess? 117 00:06:34,574 --> 00:06:37,236 I guess I'll have to brave the wilderness on my own. 118 00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:38,334 No. 119 00:06:38,478 --> 00:06:40,571 Not on your own, with Aidan. 120 00:06:40,647 --> 00:06:42,239 And I love Aidan. 121 00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:44,215 And Aidan loves the country. 122 00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:45,808 Maybe I'll love the country. 123 00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:48,979 Just because Aidan loves the country, you have to love it, too? 124 00:06:49,055 --> 00:06:50,716 Apparently that's how it works. 125 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:54,157 You need to pretend to be someone else, to be in a relationship. 126 00:06:54,227 --> 00:06:57,924 No, I believe the word you're looking for is "compromise." 127 00:06:57,997 --> 00:07:01,524 It's true. Trey loves golf, so, I'm taking golf lessons. 128 00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:04,863 Trey loves Bunny, so, I'm ovulating at the orchid show. 129 00:07:04,938 --> 00:07:07,168 Which hick town is it exactly? 130 00:07:07,941 --> 00:07:10,341 It's too terrible and too ironic. 131 00:07:13,113 --> 00:07:14,580 It's Suffern. 132 00:07:15,448 --> 00:07:17,575 Suffern, New York. 133 00:07:19,085 --> 00:07:22,452 Sounds like you better take some Buffer'n to Suffern. 134 00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:35,392 Well? 135 00:07:41,908 --> 00:07:44,741 There's a lake right over there. One mile. 136 00:08:01,861 --> 00:08:05,024 This floor's all original. Dates back to 1874. 137 00:08:06,199 --> 00:08:09,396 The plumbing's 1974, so, of course, it needs work. 138 00:08:11,471 --> 00:08:14,031 But I put in a hot water heater all by myself. 139 00:08:14,107 --> 00:08:16,803 What do you think? Scary as you thought it'd be? 140 00:08:16,876 --> 00:08:18,810 No. God, no. 141 00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:21,070 It was scarier. 142 00:08:21,314 --> 00:08:22,406 Good. 143 00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:27,342 Let me stick this stuff in the back. And I'll give you the grand tour. 144 00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:28,887 I'll be here. 145 00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:42,060 So, there I was... 146 00:08:42,135 --> 00:08:45,662 trapped in a cabin that was outdated even by Civil War standards... 147 00:08:45,772 --> 00:08:49,401 when I could've been out cocktailing, and sample sale-ing. 148 00:08:52,812 --> 00:08:54,507 - Oh, God! - What is it? 149 00:08:55,148 --> 00:08:56,672 What happened? Are you okay? 150 00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:57,738 No! 151 00:08:58,184 --> 00:08:59,549 Oh, my God! 152 00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:04,051 There was a huge, giant squirrel in that window, right there. 153 00:09:06,259 --> 00:09:07,749 That's my squirrel. 154 00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:10,022 I've been sneaking little nuts out there. 155 00:09:10,096 --> 00:09:12,326 Hoping he'd come make friends, and he did. 156 00:09:12,398 --> 00:09:15,128 You can't be friends with a squirrel. 157 00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:18,293 A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. 158 00:09:18,371 --> 00:09:20,862 - Is that right? - "That's my squirrel"? 159 00:09:21,374 --> 00:09:24,343 Any more Wild Kingdom surprises I should know about? 160 00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,139 Let's see, just... 161 00:09:32,552 --> 00:09:35,749 Hours later, we discovered one satisfying way... 162 00:09:35,822 --> 00:09:38,154 to pass the time in the country. 163 00:09:38,558 --> 00:09:40,423 Just not enough time. 164 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:43,956 There I was, miles from home, hours from sleep... 165 00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:48,360 with no one to talk to, nowhere to go, and nothing to do except... 166 00:09:50,236 --> 00:09:54,366 Three hours, two mosquitoes, and one too many Vodka Kool-Aids later... 167 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,638 I finally found an outlet for my computer, but not my frustration. 168 00:10:06,252 --> 00:10:08,447 Relationships, no matter how good... 169 00:10:08,521 --> 00:10:11,183 are inevitably a series of compromises. 170 00:10:11,257 --> 00:10:14,249 But how much of ourselves should we be willing to sacrifice... 171 00:10:14,327 --> 00:10:17,592 for the other person before we stop being ourselves? 172 00:10:17,664 --> 00:10:18,926 In a relationship... 173 00:10:18,998 --> 00:10:22,695 when does the art of compromise become compromising? 174 00:10:24,971 --> 00:10:28,498 Meanwhile, back at the center of the civilized world... 175 00:10:30,176 --> 00:10:31,268 So... 176 00:10:31,844 --> 00:10:34,176 what are you doing next weekend? 177 00:10:37,317 --> 00:10:38,750 What did I say? 178 00:10:38,885 --> 00:10:42,048 Tired of being the "wake up and smell the coffee" girl... 179 00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:45,056 Miranda invited Steve over for tea and sympathy. 180 00:10:45,124 --> 00:10:48,321 Or, in Steve's case, Chinese food and Chop Socky. 181 00:10:48,528 --> 00:10:50,325 I thought you hated these movies. 182 00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:52,159 Yeah, but you don't. 183 00:10:52,231 --> 00:10:55,758 And the guy at Video Village said this one rocks, so... 184 00:10:57,103 --> 00:10:58,900 You want the last spring roll? 185 00:10:58,972 --> 00:11:00,132 No, that's yours. 186 00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:02,333 No, I don't want it. You have it. 187 00:11:03,242 --> 00:11:04,300 Shit! 188 00:11:04,477 --> 00:11:07,344 They forgot the tea. Did you want tea? I could make some. 189 00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:09,142 That's it, I'm outta here. 190 00:11:09,215 --> 00:11:11,581 - Why, where are you going? - Home. 191 00:11:11,651 --> 00:11:15,348 You think I wanna stay here, and be treated like some fuckin' cancer patient? 192 00:11:15,421 --> 00:11:16,911 What are you talking about? 193 00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:19,356 Since when don't you want the last spring roll? 194 00:11:19,425 --> 00:11:21,893 You usually eat them all. I'm lucky if I see one. 195 00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:23,792 I'm sorry, I felt bad. 196 00:11:24,263 --> 00:11:26,891 In the park, you needed a shoulder to cry on. 197 00:11:26,966 --> 00:11:30,129 - And I was a total bitch to you. - Yeah, you were. 198 00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:33,862 Thank God, because I have a doctor who knows what he's doing. 199 00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:38,274 I scheduled my operation, and I have insurance that's gonna pay for it. 200 00:11:38,344 --> 00:11:40,938 So, thank you for being a huge bitch. 201 00:11:43,249 --> 00:11:45,240 Give me that spring roll. 202 00:11:49,122 --> 00:11:52,114 The next day at the MacDougal's Connecticut compound... 203 00:11:52,191 --> 00:11:54,682 Bunny gave Charlotte a tour of her nursery. 204 00:11:54,761 --> 00:11:57,195 Since my boys have all grown up... 205 00:11:57,363 --> 00:11:59,854 my orchids have become my babies. 206 00:12:00,266 --> 00:12:03,827 And this year, Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium... 207 00:12:03,903 --> 00:12:06,303 will be no match for my Rising Suns. 208 00:12:06,372 --> 00:12:09,933 - They're exquisite. - I'm pleased you think so, Charlotte. 209 00:12:10,009 --> 00:12:12,341 I've re-potted this one for you to take home. 210 00:12:12,412 --> 00:12:14,846 - No, I couldn't. - But I insist. 211 00:12:15,281 --> 00:12:19,115 A gift in anticipation of the great gift you're giving me. 212 00:12:22,422 --> 00:12:23,719 What gift is that? 213 00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:26,190 Why, a grandchild, my dear. 214 00:12:26,692 --> 00:12:29,855 You mustn't be cross with Trey for telling me. 215 00:12:30,063 --> 00:12:32,031 He knows how anxious I am... 216 00:12:32,098 --> 00:12:35,397 to have a wee MacDougal to carry on the family name. 217 00:12:38,704 --> 00:12:42,834 I couldn't get any sleep at all last night. The silence out here is deafening. 218 00:12:42,909 --> 00:12:44,536 You are in the country. 219 00:12:45,912 --> 00:12:48,710 Then I go to take a shower and there's no water. 220 00:12:48,781 --> 00:12:51,716 So, now, he's working on the pipes all day... 221 00:12:51,818 --> 00:12:54,719 so, I finally had to leave the house before I dehydrated. 222 00:12:54,787 --> 00:12:56,379 Welcome to Frozen Cup. 223 00:12:56,722 --> 00:13:01,216 Yes, I'd like a cheeseburger, please, large fries, and a Cosmopolitan? 224 00:13:01,294 --> 00:13:02,352 What? 225 00:13:02,428 --> 00:13:04,589 A strawberry shake, please. 226 00:13:04,664 --> 00:13:05,653 Where are you? 227 00:13:05,731 --> 00:13:08,700 I'm at the Frozen Cup in Ho-Ho-Kus. 228 00:13:08,768 --> 00:13:12,602 I had to freaking drive to New Jersey to get cell service, and, apparently... 229 00:13:12,672 --> 00:13:16,904 the only way to get anything to eat in the country is to make it yourself. 230 00:13:16,976 --> 00:13:18,739 I'm in no mood for Bisquick. 231 00:13:18,811 --> 00:13:19,971 It could be worse. 232 00:13:20,046 --> 00:13:23,015 Bunny's already picking names and schools for her grandchild. 233 00:13:23,082 --> 00:13:24,481 I'm not even pregnant. 234 00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:27,075 She wouldn't let the cook put shrimp in my omelet. 235 00:13:27,153 --> 00:13:28,484 You have a cook? 236 00:13:28,554 --> 00:13:30,749 How far is my country from your country? 237 00:13:30,823 --> 00:13:32,415 How is the house? 238 00:13:32,492 --> 00:13:33,720 What house? 239 00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:36,387 He's got squirrels running there. It's Animal Farm. 240 00:13:36,462 --> 00:13:38,259 Four legs good, two legs bad. 241 00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:40,993 - You didn't say that to him, did you? - No. 242 00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:44,298 He thinks I love it. I don't even know what I'm doing out here. 243 00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:46,099 You're keeping him company. 244 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:48,697 I'm trying, but he's out there hoeing. 245 00:13:48,774 --> 00:13:50,503 So, try harder, go hoe. 246 00:13:50,943 --> 00:13:52,171 All right. 247 00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,408 So... 248 00:13:57,150 --> 00:14:00,051 what are we gonna be doing? Are we gonna be schlepping... 249 00:14:00,119 --> 00:14:02,610 these railroad ties over to the mudhole? 250 00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:04,053 - Yes. - All righty, then. 251 00:14:04,123 --> 00:14:06,956 - Don't hurt yourself. - I'm not gonna hurt myself. 252 00:14:07,026 --> 00:14:08,755 All right, you ready? 253 00:14:08,828 --> 00:14:10,193 Here you go. 254 00:14:11,397 --> 00:14:13,865 - You okay? - I'm fine, it's just mud. 255 00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:16,526 Okay. 256 00:14:17,103 --> 00:14:18,297 Oh, God. 257 00:14:24,577 --> 00:14:25,908 Okay, go! 258 00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:28,705 Shit! 259 00:14:34,153 --> 00:14:36,713 Okay, I'm not being helpful anymore. 260 00:14:36,889 --> 00:14:39,517 I think I should get back to the city. 261 00:14:41,961 --> 00:14:45,294 I have that meeting to get ready for. 262 00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:51,602 And several showers to take. 263 00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:54,796 Four hours later, I kissed Aidan good-bye... 264 00:14:54,874 --> 00:14:58,469 kicked the mud off my boots, and had a New York steak with my New York ex. 265 00:14:58,544 --> 00:15:00,978 I tried, I really did, but nature and me... 266 00:15:01,047 --> 00:15:03,311 it's unnatural. And I love being with Aidan. 267 00:15:03,382 --> 00:15:07,182 I mean, there's no one in the world that I would rather be... 268 00:15:07,687 --> 00:15:09,018 I'm sorry. 269 00:15:09,188 --> 00:15:12,351 - Is it okay to talk to you about this stuff? - Go ahead, I'm okay. 270 00:15:12,425 --> 00:15:15,826 Good. I'm glad that we can talk about this stuff. And listen... 271 00:15:15,895 --> 00:15:19,524 - if you meet someone, I want you to feel... - I met someone. 272 00:15:28,908 --> 00:15:30,273 Who is she? 273 00:15:30,910 --> 00:15:33,504 If I tell you, you can't tell anyone. 274 00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,242 Is she... 275 00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:37,539 your imaginary girlfriend? 276 00:15:38,084 --> 00:15:39,711 She's an actress. 277 00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:42,177 Willow Summers. 278 00:15:42,255 --> 00:15:44,553 She's not an actress, she's a movie star. 279 00:15:44,624 --> 00:15:47,684 Did you see that Spy Girl movie? I thought she was pretty good. 280 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,856 I don't know about that. I do know she wears many wrong things on the red carpet. 281 00:15:51,931 --> 00:15:54,331 I cannot believe you are dating... 282 00:15:56,002 --> 00:15:58,197 someone named after a tree. 283 00:15:58,304 --> 00:16:00,772 - She's really something. - How did you meet her? 284 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,503 She came up to me at her premiere thing and asked for a light... 285 00:16:04,577 --> 00:16:08,035 and said, "I have two vices, smoking and green-eyed men." 286 00:16:09,148 --> 00:16:12,015 - She's a smoothie. - We talked, had a few... 287 00:16:13,919 --> 00:16:15,819 went up to her hotel... 288 00:16:16,522 --> 00:16:18,183 dress comes off... 289 00:16:18,324 --> 00:16:19,951 red panties. 290 00:16:20,426 --> 00:16:24,328 Kept her high heels on. I lifted her up, I put her on the bed... 291 00:16:24,397 --> 00:16:26,558 Okay, that's plenty. Thanks. 292 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:30,667 That was about 30 seconds. I think I did pretty good. 293 00:16:31,103 --> 00:16:34,072 How's the stock market treating you these days? 294 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:37,405 The thing of it is, I can't get her out of my head. 295 00:16:38,244 --> 00:16:40,041 She's crazy about me. 296 00:16:40,146 --> 00:16:42,114 Willow Summers is crazy about me. 297 00:16:42,181 --> 00:16:43,443 Someone's crazy. 298 00:16:43,549 --> 00:16:46,575 I'm not kidding. When I walked home from her hotel... 299 00:16:46,652 --> 00:16:48,643 - You walked? - Yeah. 300 00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:51,550 I thought, this is something. 301 00:16:52,058 --> 00:16:53,958 There's something here. 302 00:16:55,194 --> 00:16:56,661 A connection. 303 00:16:56,762 --> 00:16:59,663 Yeah, the red panty, green-eyed connection. 304 00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:01,057 Fuck. 305 00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:04,264 I think I'm in love. 306 00:17:07,473 --> 00:17:10,806 As I walked off my Big dinner, I realized I'd gone from pretending... 307 00:17:10,876 --> 00:17:12,741 I didn't hate being in the country... 308 00:17:12,812 --> 00:17:16,077 to pretending I didn't hate listening to Big's Willow talk. 309 00:17:16,148 --> 00:17:20,107 I may have been back in the city, but now I was really suffer'n. 310 00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:31,860 One thing was clear. I had to get back to the country. 311 00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:36,095 But this time, I wouldn't rely on the country to provide the entertainment. 312 00:17:36,168 --> 00:17:38,227 I would take the entertainment with me. 313 00:17:38,304 --> 00:17:40,568 Otherwise known as Samantha. 314 00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:44,501 - What's next, Samantha? - You've got to be kidding me. 315 00:17:44,577 --> 00:17:45,566 Come on. 316 00:17:45,644 --> 00:17:49,102 - We're baking a pie here. - You're baking a pie. I'm just baking. 317 00:17:49,181 --> 00:17:51,081 It's hotter here than it is outside. 318 00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:53,209 Can't we turn on the air conditioning? 319 00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:54,775 One cup of milk. 320 00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:56,487 No, we can't. 321 00:17:57,656 --> 00:17:59,783 There is no air conditioner. 322 00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:02,117 Or milk for that matter. 323 00:18:02,762 --> 00:18:04,252 What time's the next train? 324 00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:06,127 No, you can't go. 325 00:18:06,198 --> 00:18:09,099 You have to entertain me when Aidan goes to bed in an hour. 326 00:18:09,168 --> 00:18:11,295 You lured me here under false pretenses. 327 00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:13,702 I told you that it was rustic. 328 00:18:13,873 --> 00:18:16,637 Honey, don't kid yourself. It's a dump. 329 00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:19,303 Aidan worked very hard on this place. 330 00:18:19,945 --> 00:18:23,312 Did you know that he put that hot water heater in all by himself? 331 00:18:23,382 --> 00:18:25,213 With his own bare hands. 332 00:18:25,284 --> 00:18:27,582 Actually, I was wearing gloves at the time... 333 00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:29,848 but thanks for the shout out. 334 00:18:30,723 --> 00:18:32,782 Is it hot in here or is it just me? 335 00:18:33,092 --> 00:18:34,423 It isn't you. 336 00:18:35,594 --> 00:18:37,221 I'm pre-heating the oven. 337 00:18:37,296 --> 00:18:39,457 It couldn't be any hotter in here. 338 00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:41,932 Or could it? 339 00:18:43,636 --> 00:18:45,968 Who's the farmer with the delts? 340 00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:51,066 Young McDonald? 341 00:18:51,343 --> 00:18:52,970 Ee-yi-ee-yi-oh! 342 00:18:53,045 --> 00:18:57,004 That's Luke Gilmore. Came out here from the city after the last big market crash. 343 00:18:57,082 --> 00:18:59,983 He doesn't say much, kinda keeps to himself. 344 00:19:00,352 --> 00:19:02,343 So, what does he do out here? 345 00:19:02,421 --> 00:19:04,548 Pushups, by the look of him. 346 00:19:09,161 --> 00:19:10,185 Oh, no. 347 00:19:10,963 --> 00:19:12,624 What are you up to, Sammy-Jo? 348 00:19:12,698 --> 00:19:13,687 Honey... 349 00:19:14,099 --> 00:19:16,397 if we're gonna bake us a pie... 350 00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:18,732 we're gonna need us some milk. 351 00:19:27,513 --> 00:19:28,980 Anybody home? 352 00:19:37,723 --> 00:19:39,850 - You lost? - No. 353 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:43,786 I'm staying next door, and I'm baking a pie from scratch. 354 00:19:43,863 --> 00:19:45,888 And I suddenly realized... 355 00:19:46,398 --> 00:19:48,059 fresh out of milk. 356 00:19:49,502 --> 00:19:50,992 Help yourself. 357 00:20:07,586 --> 00:20:09,486 You from New York City? 358 00:20:09,755 --> 00:20:10,813 Yes. 359 00:20:11,056 --> 00:20:15,254 But only until I can afford a little farm all my own. 360 00:20:19,732 --> 00:20:21,563 Ever milk a cow before? 361 00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:22,658 No. 362 00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:27,862 But something tells me I'd be very good at it. 363 00:20:33,145 --> 00:20:35,978 Squeeze off the milk with your thumb and forefinger. 364 00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:38,808 Then roll down into a fist. 365 00:20:39,118 --> 00:20:40,847 Squeeze and roll. 366 00:20:44,189 --> 00:20:45,816 Squeeze and roll. 367 00:20:46,058 --> 00:20:47,923 I think I can do that. 368 00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:50,654 Squeeze and roll. 369 00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:52,657 Squeeze... 370 00:20:56,035 --> 00:20:59,266 I usually get a little warning before that happens. 371 00:21:01,006 --> 00:21:03,304 I guess it just takes practice. 372 00:21:04,810 --> 00:21:07,506 Anything else around here need milking? 373 00:21:10,416 --> 00:21:12,680 While Samantha worked up an appetite... 374 00:21:12,751 --> 00:21:14,048 Trey, are you up here? 375 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:15,643 ...Charlotte's eggs were ready. 376 00:21:15,721 --> 00:21:17,552 - In the bath. - It's time. 377 00:21:17,623 --> 00:21:18,885 I'm ovulating. 378 00:21:18,958 --> 00:21:23,452 So, get out of the tub, get into this bed, and make love to me, right now! 379 00:21:25,164 --> 00:21:27,132 Charlotte, I was just telling Trey... 380 00:21:27,199 --> 00:21:30,464 how much you remind me of myself at your age. 381 00:21:36,442 --> 00:21:37,932 There you are. 382 00:21:38,077 --> 00:21:40,944 - What are you doing in here? - What were you doing up there? 383 00:21:41,013 --> 00:21:42,674 Up where? What do you mean? 384 00:21:42,748 --> 00:21:45,774 What do I mean? Your mother was watching you bathe. 385 00:21:45,851 --> 00:21:49,912 She was not. We were having a conversation while I was in the bath. 386 00:21:49,989 --> 00:21:51,957 I don't know how you were brought up. 387 00:21:52,024 --> 00:21:56,723 But that is not acceptable parent-child bath-time behavior past the age of 5! 388 00:21:56,996 --> 00:21:58,861 Even 4 in some cases. 389 00:21:58,931 --> 00:22:01,399 If you think that I'm bringing a child into that... 390 00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:04,698 that I will be that kind of mother, then you better think again. 391 00:22:04,770 --> 00:22:08,501 She may have raised you like that, but I am not your mother. 392 00:22:10,142 --> 00:22:12,167 I was raised by a woman... 393 00:22:12,478 --> 00:22:14,002 named Eva Neal. 394 00:22:14,747 --> 00:22:16,374 She was my nanny. 395 00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:20,980 I don't remember ever seeing my mother... 396 00:22:21,587 --> 00:22:25,421 ever, except after her tennis lesson and before the cocktail hour... 397 00:22:25,491 --> 00:22:29,359 when she would draw me a bath and tell me how she'd spent her day. 398 00:22:29,428 --> 00:22:31,419 So, I know, I have always known... 399 00:22:31,497 --> 00:22:34,660 that you could never ever be that kind of mother. 400 00:22:36,435 --> 00:22:38,926 That's my ovaries. I'm ovulating. 401 00:22:40,139 --> 00:22:41,606 We'd better get to work. 402 00:22:41,674 --> 00:22:44,234 Okay, but I have to get in the right position. 403 00:22:44,309 --> 00:22:47,210 Wait, stop, not like that. I have to get my legs up. 404 00:22:47,479 --> 00:22:49,106 While trying to make a baby... 405 00:22:49,181 --> 00:22:51,877 Charlotte and Trey accidentally destroyed Bunny's... 406 00:22:51,950 --> 00:22:54,578 and Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium... 407 00:22:54,653 --> 00:22:57,486 won first prize for the second year in a row. 408 00:22:58,524 --> 00:22:59,752 Back in New York... 409 00:22:59,825 --> 00:23:03,124 the patient, Steve, was greeted by a patient Miranda. 410 00:23:10,903 --> 00:23:12,234 You're up. 411 00:23:12,538 --> 00:23:13,937 How are you? 412 00:23:15,908 --> 00:23:17,170 On drugs. 413 00:23:18,644 --> 00:23:21,078 - How long you been here? - Not long. 414 00:23:22,648 --> 00:23:23,876 A while. 415 00:23:24,116 --> 00:23:25,583 Is that okay? 416 00:23:26,852 --> 00:23:27,910 I... 417 00:23:29,354 --> 00:23:30,946 I talked to the doctor. 418 00:23:31,023 --> 00:23:32,354 Yeah, how's he? 419 00:23:33,559 --> 00:23:36,722 He said everything looked pretty good down there. 420 00:23:36,795 --> 00:23:39,389 I told him, frankly, I'd seen better. 421 00:23:40,099 --> 00:23:41,123 Sorry. 422 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,465 Visiting hours are over. You're going to have to leave now. 423 00:23:44,837 --> 00:23:47,169 No, I'm sorry, I don't think so. 424 00:23:47,239 --> 00:23:50,800 - Are you a family member? - I'm his in-case-of-emergency person. 425 00:23:50,876 --> 00:23:53,071 It's okay, Miranda, if you wanna go... 426 00:23:53,145 --> 00:23:55,636 Shut up or I'll give you a sponge bath. 427 00:23:56,381 --> 00:23:57,905 Twenty minutes. 428 00:23:59,251 --> 00:24:00,878 Drink your juice. 429 00:24:06,792 --> 00:24:11,092 Meanwhile, on his farm, Young McDonald had Samantha. 430 00:24:20,072 --> 00:24:22,097 That was good. 431 00:24:22,574 --> 00:24:26,203 You're a man of few words, but they're all the right ones. 432 00:24:26,678 --> 00:24:29,010 What are you doing next weekend? 433 00:24:32,284 --> 00:24:33,410 Look! 434 00:24:34,653 --> 00:24:36,120 I made crust! 435 00:24:36,555 --> 00:24:39,752 Now all we have to do is put apples in and it's pie. 436 00:24:39,825 --> 00:24:42,487 - Look at that. - No, you don't understand. 437 00:24:42,561 --> 00:24:46,691 The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. 438 00:24:46,765 --> 00:24:50,496 And several little fires. Come on, you feel like peeling some apples? 439 00:24:50,569 --> 00:24:53,037 - I feel like taking a shower. - Now? 440 00:24:53,705 --> 00:24:54,729 No! 441 00:24:54,807 --> 00:24:57,970 You've been outside all day, and I've been cooped up in here. 442 00:24:58,043 --> 00:25:00,841 Look, we'll do it together. It'll be fun, all right? 443 00:25:04,416 --> 00:25:06,043 - It's a squirrel! - God damn it! 444 00:25:06,919 --> 00:25:08,648 - God! - Are you okay? 445 00:25:08,854 --> 00:25:10,617 No, I am not okay! 446 00:25:11,490 --> 00:25:13,117 I burned my legs! 447 00:25:14,326 --> 00:25:15,725 And I... 448 00:25:16,461 --> 00:25:17,519 God! 449 00:25:18,163 --> 00:25:20,791 I hate that squirrel! I hate this oven! 450 00:25:21,934 --> 00:25:23,196 I hate... 451 00:25:23,468 --> 00:25:24,560 this! 452 00:25:24,703 --> 00:25:27,866 - House, just say it, you hate the house. - I hate the house. 453 00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:29,271 Thank you. 454 00:25:29,875 --> 00:25:31,672 I'm sorry, I just... 455 00:25:33,712 --> 00:25:37,045 I don't belong here. I don't know where anything goes... 456 00:25:37,115 --> 00:25:38,912 and I burned my legs. 457 00:25:39,117 --> 00:25:41,244 - It really hurts. - Come here. 458 00:25:42,087 --> 00:25:44,021 Jump up here. Come on. 459 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,089 Where is it? Oh, there it is. 460 00:25:57,669 --> 00:25:59,193 Is that better? 461 00:26:02,808 --> 00:26:04,139 I'm sorry. 462 00:26:07,112 --> 00:26:09,012 I don't hate the house. 463 00:26:09,681 --> 00:26:11,444 I hate the squirrel. 464 00:26:11,984 --> 00:26:14,009 The squirrel's not so bad. 465 00:26:14,853 --> 00:26:17,083 The house, it'll get better. 466 00:26:17,656 --> 00:26:18,850 You'll see. 467 00:26:19,591 --> 00:26:22,151 Maybe from now on I should come on the weekends. 468 00:26:22,227 --> 00:26:24,252 Yeah, or every other weekend. 469 00:26:27,299 --> 00:26:29,790 - I don't have to come at all. - Okay. 470 00:26:38,844 --> 00:26:40,505 Weekends are good. 471 00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:56,989 One slow train ride and two fast-food apple pies later... 472 00:26:57,763 --> 00:27:00,288 - These are surprisingly delicious. - I know. 473 00:27:00,365 --> 00:27:02,890 Why would anybody go to the trouble of making one... 474 00:27:02,968 --> 00:27:06,267 when you can buy one that's so perfect, and individually sized? 475 00:27:06,939 --> 00:27:09,407 - Wait a minute, hold still, sweetie. - What? 476 00:27:11,810 --> 00:27:13,072 Souvenir? 477 00:27:13,178 --> 00:27:16,614 - Please, I am never leaving this city again. - Taxi! 478 00:27:18,250 --> 00:27:21,583 Actually, the country's looking pretty good to me right about now. 479 00:27:21,653 --> 00:27:24,383 Really, so, you'll be back next weekend? 480 00:27:25,557 --> 00:27:27,115 Not next weekend, no. 481 00:27:27,192 --> 00:27:29,319 So, when are you going back? 482 00:27:30,862 --> 00:27:32,887 You gonna finish that pie? 483 00:27:33,899 --> 00:27:36,868 In the end, of course, Aidan and I compromised. 484 00:27:36,935 --> 00:27:38,960 He spent money on air conditioning. 485 00:27:39,037 --> 00:27:42,131 And I spent enough time in Suffern to realize... 486 00:27:42,207 --> 00:27:45,005 that city girls are just country girls... 487 00:27:45,744 --> 00:27:46,938 with cuter outfits. 488 00:27:47,012 --> 00:27:48,536 I got a cab! 489 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:59,000 Subtitles conformed by SOFTITLER 490 00:28:09,000 --> 00:29:10,000 Ripped by RavyDavy part of the [RL] Crew37897

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