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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
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For most New Yorkers, Manhattan
is the center of the civilized world.
2
00:00:52,399 --> 00:00:54,367
But for a privileged few...
3
00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:57,528
Manhattan is merely a place
to kill time between weekends...
4
00:00:57,604 --> 00:01:01,062
at their fashionably rustic,
New York country homes.
5
00:01:01,141 --> 00:01:04,201
Wow, yeah, the place looks great.
6
00:01:04,277 --> 00:01:06,245
I was willing to forgo the privilege.
7
00:01:06,313 --> 00:01:08,747
- That's the "before" picture.
- Sorry.
8
00:01:10,016 --> 00:01:11,643
That's the after.
9
00:01:12,953 --> 00:01:14,716
Could I see the before again?
10
00:01:14,788 --> 00:01:17,416
You kinda have to be there to appreciate it.
11
00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:20,119
No, I can appreciate it from here.
12
00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:24,021
Luckily you won't have to, since
you're coming up there with me next week.
13
00:01:24,097 --> 00:01:25,189
I am?
14
00:01:26,032 --> 00:01:27,829
Man, I wish I could.
15
00:01:27,901 --> 00:01:31,393
But I have a meeting with my editor
in town next week.
16
00:01:31,471 --> 00:01:34,304
That's all right, it's only 40 minutes away.
17
00:01:34,408 --> 00:01:38,572
You take the train in for your meeting.
Then right back out when you're done.
18
00:01:38,712 --> 00:01:41,738
You've just thought of everything,
haven't you?
19
00:01:41,815 --> 00:01:43,305
Pack your bags, little lady.
20
00:01:43,383 --> 00:01:46,011
You're comin' to the country with me
21
00:01:47,621 --> 00:01:50,385
That's Miranda, I gotta go.
We'll talk about this later.
22
00:01:50,457 --> 00:01:53,654
- Nothing left to talk about.
- Yes, there is.
23
00:01:54,227 --> 00:01:56,718
- I'll be right down.
- I'm coming up.
24
00:01:58,365 --> 00:01:59,730
See...
25
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,792
I'm what you call a bona fide city girl.
26
00:02:03,036 --> 00:02:04,901
I'm a girl-about-town.
27
00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:09,499
I'm the kind of girl that goes to a late movie
in the middle of the week.
28
00:02:09,576 --> 00:02:11,441
- I'm crazy.
- I know it.
29
00:02:12,579 --> 00:02:14,137
- Hi, there.
- Hello.
30
00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:17,547
Could you tell your little pal, Steve,
to call his insurance company?
31
00:02:17,617 --> 00:02:21,246
They can't find him and they think
that I'm his in-case-of-emergency person.
32
00:02:21,321 --> 00:02:23,414
So, he needs to update that whole file.
33
00:02:23,490 --> 00:02:26,823
I know he wants to talk
to you about some stuff, too.
34
00:02:28,895 --> 00:02:29,919
Like what?
35
00:02:30,397 --> 00:02:31,386
Some stuff.
36
00:02:31,998 --> 00:02:33,590
No, what is he gonna tell me?
37
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:36,500
Now that Jessica's gone,
he wants to start seeing me again?
38
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:40,062
That he can't stop thinking about me?
That he's still in love with me?
39
00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:42,370
Steve's got testicular cancer.
40
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:46,344
That I'm a horrible, selfish bitch?
41
00:02:47,547 --> 00:02:50,607
Several blocks south,
Charlotte also found herself...
42
00:02:50,684 --> 00:02:52,618
in a compromising position.
43
00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:55,246
Whatever it is you're doing, don't stop.
44
00:02:55,322 --> 00:02:57,347
It's a fertility exercise.
45
00:02:58,525 --> 00:03:00,356
I know a better one.
46
00:03:02,229 --> 00:03:03,253
No, not yet.
47
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:07,323
My basal body temperature reading says
I won't be ovulating for another five days.
48
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,961
Perfect. That means we have five days
of practice to get it right.
49
00:03:11,037 --> 00:03:12,026
No, we can't.
50
00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:16,041
You need to conserve your juices till then,
so they'll be at their most powerful.
51
00:03:16,109 --> 00:03:18,043
Darling, I'm juicy now.
52
00:03:18,478 --> 00:03:20,378
I'm sorry, it's just...
53
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:24,507
we've been trying for three months,
and I don't wanna take any chances.
54
00:03:24,584 --> 00:03:26,245
Can't it wait until Saturday?
55
00:03:26,319 --> 00:03:29,288
We're gonna be in Connecticut on Saturday.
We promised mother.
56
00:03:29,356 --> 00:03:30,448
I know.
57
00:03:30,824 --> 00:03:34,316
But I was thinking maybe we could
stay here and concentrate on this.
58
00:03:34,961 --> 00:03:36,690
She's expecting us.
59
00:03:36,930 --> 00:03:39,626
We miss the orchid show,
she'll be devastated.
60
00:03:39,699 --> 00:03:43,191
Then I guess we'll just have
to have sex at your mother's.
61
00:03:43,403 --> 00:03:45,803
People having sex in Connecticut?
62
00:03:46,573 --> 00:03:49,098
There's a first time for everything.
63
00:03:54,281 --> 00:03:55,646
It's no big deal.
64
00:03:55,715 --> 00:03:58,275
The doctor said it's very trendy now.
65
00:03:58,351 --> 00:04:00,979
Lance Armstrong had it,
the Drew Barrymore guy.
66
00:04:01,054 --> 00:04:03,750
Everybody's getting it.
It's the TiVo of cancers.
67
00:04:03,823 --> 00:04:05,620
That's right, it's no big deal.
68
00:04:05,692 --> 00:04:09,924
He's just gotta get in there and snip
one of those guys out of there and I'm done.
69
00:04:09,996 --> 00:04:13,955
Good, so, then it's stage one, right?
I looked it up on the net.
70
00:04:14,634 --> 00:04:16,158
Yeah, I guess so.
71
00:04:16,236 --> 00:04:18,431
You guess so? You don't know?
72
00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:23,535
What? Sure, stage one,
you have the operation.
73
00:04:24,044 --> 00:04:28,174
No, stage one, the cancer hasn't spread
to the lymph nodes. Has it?
74
00:04:28,615 --> 00:04:31,448
Your doctor gave you an ultrasound, right?
75
00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:34,653
- A CAT scan?
- You know, I mean...
76
00:04:35,855 --> 00:04:38,756
I turned my head, I coughed.
He poked around a little.
77
00:04:38,825 --> 00:04:42,056
Who is this doctor? Has he
got a storefront outside Port Authority?
78
00:04:42,128 --> 00:04:43,618
No, he's nice.
79
00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,527
I got him through my HMO.
80
00:04:45,599 --> 00:04:47,396
Then he must be good.
81
00:04:48,368 --> 00:04:49,858
Steve, look...
82
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:53,230
I talked to some guys in my office
who have been through this.
83
00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:55,638
- Miranda...
- Don't worry, I used a pseudonym.
84
00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:58,644
They gave me the name
of a specialist at Beth Israel.
85
00:04:58,712 --> 00:05:02,341
You don't have to do that.
You don't have to do anything.
86
00:05:02,415 --> 00:05:04,781
I have a doctor, it's no big deal.
87
00:05:04,851 --> 00:05:07,581
Will you stop saying that? It is a big deal!
88
00:05:08,154 --> 00:05:11,521
This isn't your crazy yellow toenail.
This is cancer.
89
00:05:11,725 --> 00:05:14,216
The longer you wait to find out
what's going on...
90
00:05:14,294 --> 00:05:16,854
the longer we sit here
having this conversation...
91
00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:20,457
the more likely it is that
the cancer will spread and that you will die.
92
00:05:21,134 --> 00:05:23,534
It is a big fucking deal!
93
00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,301
All right.
94
00:05:28,274 --> 00:05:31,141
I made him cry. No, first, I yelled at him.
95
00:05:31,211 --> 00:05:34,977
I yelled at my friend, the cancer patient.
Then I made him cry.
96
00:05:35,048 --> 00:05:37,676
It's understandable.
I mean, you just lost your mom.
97
00:05:37,751 --> 00:05:40,311
I'm sure you have a lot
of pent up, residual anger.
98
00:05:40,387 --> 00:05:42,651
Maybe, but he was just pissing me off.
99
00:05:42,722 --> 00:05:45,850
Sounds like he needed the kick in the ass,
which you gave him.
100
00:05:45,925 --> 00:05:47,324
You know what you need?
101
00:05:47,394 --> 00:05:51,296
A nice, relaxing weekend with me
at Aidan's country house.
102
00:05:51,364 --> 00:05:53,127
You're not going, are you?
103
00:05:53,199 --> 00:05:56,726
If by "going" you mean
being taken against my will and kidnapped...
104
00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:59,863
then yes, I'm going.
So, enjoy me now, ladies.
105
00:05:59,939 --> 00:06:02,908
Because this weekend
I'm a hick town hostage.
106
00:06:02,976 --> 00:06:05,171
I can't go, Steve has cancer.
107
00:06:05,478 --> 00:06:08,811
Somebody has to stay in town
and make him feel bad about it.
108
00:06:08,882 --> 00:06:11,373
You're at the Connecticut compound?
109
00:06:13,653 --> 00:06:16,315
Come on! It's like we're living in Paris...
110
00:06:16,389 --> 00:06:18,619
and running off to Provence
for the weekend.
111
00:06:18,692 --> 00:06:20,751
What is it about the weekends now?
112
00:06:20,827 --> 00:06:24,319
I swear to God, every guy I've fucked
since Memorial Day wants to know...
113
00:06:24,397 --> 00:06:27,025
what I'm doing this weekend.
They just don't get it.
114
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:29,330
My weekends are for meeting new guys...
115
00:06:29,402 --> 00:06:31,563
so I don't have to fuck the old ones.
116
00:06:31,638 --> 00:06:33,230
That's a no, I guess?
117
00:06:34,574 --> 00:06:37,236
I guess I'll have to brave the wilderness
on my own.
118
00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:38,334
No.
119
00:06:38,478 --> 00:06:40,571
Not on your own, with Aidan.
120
00:06:40,647 --> 00:06:42,239
And I love Aidan.
121
00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:44,215
And Aidan loves the country.
122
00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:45,808
Maybe I'll love the country.
123
00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:48,979
Just because Aidan loves the country,
you have to love it, too?
124
00:06:49,055 --> 00:06:50,716
Apparently that's how it works.
125
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:54,157
You need to pretend to be someone else,
to be in a relationship.
126
00:06:54,227 --> 00:06:57,924
No, I believe the word
you're looking for is "compromise."
127
00:06:57,997 --> 00:07:01,524
It's true. Trey loves golf,
so, I'm taking golf lessons.
128
00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:04,863
Trey loves Bunny,
so, I'm ovulating at the orchid show.
129
00:07:04,938 --> 00:07:07,168
Which hick town is it exactly?
130
00:07:07,941 --> 00:07:10,341
It's too terrible and too ironic.
131
00:07:13,113 --> 00:07:14,580
It's Suffern.
132
00:07:15,448 --> 00:07:17,575
Suffern, New York.
133
00:07:19,085 --> 00:07:22,452
Sounds like you better take
some Buffer'n to Suffern.
134
00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:35,392
Well?
135
00:07:41,908 --> 00:07:44,741
There's a lake right over there. One mile.
136
00:08:01,861 --> 00:08:05,024
This floor's all original. Dates back to 1874.
137
00:08:06,199 --> 00:08:09,396
The plumbing's 1974,
so, of course, it needs work.
138
00:08:11,471 --> 00:08:14,031
But I put in a hot water heater all by myself.
139
00:08:14,107 --> 00:08:16,803
What do you think?
Scary as you thought it'd be?
140
00:08:16,876 --> 00:08:18,810
No. God, no.
141
00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:21,070
It was scarier.
142
00:08:21,314 --> 00:08:22,406
Good.
143
00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:27,342
Let me stick this stuff in the back.
And I'll give you the grand tour.
144
00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:28,887
I'll be here.
145
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:42,060
So, there I was...
146
00:08:42,135 --> 00:08:45,662
trapped in a cabin that was outdated
even by Civil War standards...
147
00:08:45,772 --> 00:08:49,401
when I could've been out cocktailing,
and sample sale-ing.
148
00:08:52,812 --> 00:08:54,507
- Oh, God!
- What is it?
149
00:08:55,148 --> 00:08:56,672
What happened? Are you okay?
150
00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:57,738
No!
151
00:08:58,184 --> 00:08:59,549
Oh, my God!
152
00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:04,051
There was a huge, giant squirrel
in that window, right there.
153
00:09:06,259 --> 00:09:07,749
That's my squirrel.
154
00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:10,022
I've been sneaking little nuts out there.
155
00:09:10,096 --> 00:09:12,326
Hoping he'd come make friends, and he did.
156
00:09:12,398 --> 00:09:15,128
You can't be friends with a squirrel.
157
00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:18,293
A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit.
158
00:09:18,371 --> 00:09:20,862
- Is that right?
- "That's my squirrel"?
159
00:09:21,374 --> 00:09:24,343
Any more Wild Kingdom surprises
I should know about?
160
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,139
Let's see, just...
161
00:09:32,552 --> 00:09:35,749
Hours later,
we discovered one satisfying way...
162
00:09:35,822 --> 00:09:38,154
to pass the time in the country.
163
00:09:38,558 --> 00:09:40,423
Just not enough time.
164
00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:43,956
There I was, miles from home,
hours from sleep...
165
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:48,360
with no one to talk to, nowhere to go,
and nothing to do except...
166
00:09:50,236 --> 00:09:54,366
Three hours, two mosquitoes,
and one too many Vodka Kool-Aids later...
167
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,638
I finally found an outlet for my computer,
but not my frustration.
168
00:10:06,252 --> 00:10:08,447
Relationships, no matter how good...
169
00:10:08,521 --> 00:10:11,183
are inevitably a series of compromises.
170
00:10:11,257 --> 00:10:14,249
But how much of ourselves
should we be willing to sacrifice...
171
00:10:14,327 --> 00:10:17,592
for the other person
before we stop being ourselves?
172
00:10:17,664 --> 00:10:18,926
In a relationship...
173
00:10:18,998 --> 00:10:22,695
when does the art of compromise
become compromising?
174
00:10:24,971 --> 00:10:28,498
Meanwhile, back at the center
of the civilized world...
175
00:10:30,176 --> 00:10:31,268
So...
176
00:10:31,844 --> 00:10:34,176
what are you doing next weekend?
177
00:10:37,317 --> 00:10:38,750
What did I say?
178
00:10:38,885 --> 00:10:42,048
Tired of being the
"wake up and smell the coffee" girl...
179
00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:45,056
Miranda invited Steve over
for tea and sympathy.
180
00:10:45,124 --> 00:10:48,321
Or, in Steve's case,
Chinese food and Chop Socky.
181
00:10:48,528 --> 00:10:50,325
I thought you hated these movies.
182
00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:52,159
Yeah, but you don't.
183
00:10:52,231 --> 00:10:55,758
And the guy at Video Village said
this one rocks, so...
184
00:10:57,103 --> 00:10:58,900
You want the last spring roll?
185
00:10:58,972 --> 00:11:00,132
No, that's yours.
186
00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:02,333
No, I don't want it. You have it.
187
00:11:03,242 --> 00:11:04,300
Shit!
188
00:11:04,477 --> 00:11:07,344
They forgot the tea. Did you want tea?
I could make some.
189
00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:09,142
That's it, I'm outta here.
190
00:11:09,215 --> 00:11:11,581
- Why, where are you going?
- Home.
191
00:11:11,651 --> 00:11:15,348
You think I wanna stay here, and be treated
like some fuckin' cancer patient?
192
00:11:15,421 --> 00:11:16,911
What are you talking about?
193
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:19,356
Since when don't you want
the last spring roll?
194
00:11:19,425 --> 00:11:21,893
You usually eat them all.
I'm lucky if I see one.
195
00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:23,792
I'm sorry, I felt bad.
196
00:11:24,263 --> 00:11:26,891
In the park,
you needed a shoulder to cry on.
197
00:11:26,966 --> 00:11:30,129
- And I was a total bitch to you.
- Yeah, you were.
198
00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:33,862
Thank God, because I have a doctor
who knows what he's doing.
199
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:38,274
I scheduled my operation,
and I have insurance that's gonna pay for it.
200
00:11:38,344 --> 00:11:40,938
So, thank you for being a huge bitch.
201
00:11:43,249 --> 00:11:45,240
Give me that spring roll.
202
00:11:49,122 --> 00:11:52,114
The next day at
the MacDougal's Connecticut compound...
203
00:11:52,191 --> 00:11:54,682
Bunny gave Charlotte a tour of her nursery.
204
00:11:54,761 --> 00:11:57,195
Since my boys have all grown up...
205
00:11:57,363 --> 00:11:59,854
my orchids have become my babies.
206
00:12:00,266 --> 00:12:03,827
And this year, Waxie Hanahan's
Chocolate Oncidium...
207
00:12:03,903 --> 00:12:06,303
will be no match for my Rising Suns.
208
00:12:06,372 --> 00:12:09,933
- They're exquisite.
- I'm pleased you think so, Charlotte.
209
00:12:10,009 --> 00:12:12,341
I've re-potted this one for you to take home.
210
00:12:12,412 --> 00:12:14,846
- No, I couldn't.
- But I insist.
211
00:12:15,281 --> 00:12:19,115
A gift in anticipation of the great gift
you're giving me.
212
00:12:22,422 --> 00:12:23,719
What gift is that?
213
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:26,190
Why, a grandchild, my dear.
214
00:12:26,692 --> 00:12:29,855
You mustn't be cross with Trey
for telling me.
215
00:12:30,063 --> 00:12:32,031
He knows how anxious I am...
216
00:12:32,098 --> 00:12:35,397
to have a wee MacDougal
to carry on the family name.
217
00:12:38,704 --> 00:12:42,834
I couldn't get any sleep at all last night.
The silence out here is deafening.
218
00:12:42,909 --> 00:12:44,536
You are in the country.
219
00:12:45,912 --> 00:12:48,710
Then I go to take a shower
and there's no water.
220
00:12:48,781 --> 00:12:51,716
So, now, he's working on the pipes all day...
221
00:12:51,818 --> 00:12:54,719
so, I finally had to leave
the house before I dehydrated.
222
00:12:54,787 --> 00:12:56,379
Welcome to Frozen Cup.
223
00:12:56,722 --> 00:13:01,216
Yes, I'd like a cheeseburger, please,
large fries, and a Cosmopolitan?
224
00:13:01,294 --> 00:13:02,352
What?
225
00:13:02,428 --> 00:13:04,589
A strawberry shake, please.
226
00:13:04,664 --> 00:13:05,653
Where are you?
227
00:13:05,731 --> 00:13:08,700
I'm at the Frozen Cup in Ho-Ho-Kus.
228
00:13:08,768 --> 00:13:12,602
I had to freaking drive to New Jersey
to get cell service, and, apparently...
229
00:13:12,672 --> 00:13:16,904
the only way to get anything to eat
in the country is to make it yourself.
230
00:13:16,976 --> 00:13:18,739
I'm in no mood for Bisquick.
231
00:13:18,811 --> 00:13:19,971
It could be worse.
232
00:13:20,046 --> 00:13:23,015
Bunny's already picking names
and schools for her grandchild.
233
00:13:23,082 --> 00:13:24,481
I'm not even pregnant.
234
00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:27,075
She wouldn't let the cook
put shrimp in my omelet.
235
00:13:27,153 --> 00:13:28,484
You have a cook?
236
00:13:28,554 --> 00:13:30,749
How far is my country from your country?
237
00:13:30,823 --> 00:13:32,415
How is the house?
238
00:13:32,492 --> 00:13:33,720
What house?
239
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:36,387
He's got squirrels running there.
It's Animal Farm.
240
00:13:36,462 --> 00:13:38,259
Four legs good, two legs bad.
241
00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:40,993
- You didn't say that to him, did you?
- No.
242
00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:44,298
He thinks I love it. I don't even know
what I'm doing out here.
243
00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:46,099
You're keeping him company.
244
00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:48,697
I'm trying, but he's out there hoeing.
245
00:13:48,774 --> 00:13:50,503
So, try harder, go hoe.
246
00:13:50,943 --> 00:13:52,171
All right.
247
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,408
So...
248
00:13:57,150 --> 00:14:00,051
what are we gonna be doing?
Are we gonna be schlepping...
249
00:14:00,119 --> 00:14:02,610
these railroad ties over to the mudhole?
250
00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:04,053
- Yes.
- All righty, then.
251
00:14:04,123 --> 00:14:06,956
- Don't hurt yourself.
- I'm not gonna hurt myself.
252
00:14:07,026 --> 00:14:08,755
All right, you ready?
253
00:14:08,828 --> 00:14:10,193
Here you go.
254
00:14:11,397 --> 00:14:13,865
- You okay?
- I'm fine, it's just mud.
255
00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:16,526
Okay.
256
00:14:17,103 --> 00:14:18,297
Oh, God.
257
00:14:24,577 --> 00:14:25,908
Okay, go!
258
00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:28,705
Shit!
259
00:14:34,153 --> 00:14:36,713
Okay, I'm not being helpful anymore.
260
00:14:36,889 --> 00:14:39,517
I think I should get back to the city.
261
00:14:41,961 --> 00:14:45,294
I have that meeting to get ready for.
262
00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:51,602
And several showers to take.
263
00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:54,796
Four hours later, I kissed Aidan good-bye...
264
00:14:54,874 --> 00:14:58,469
kicked the mud off my boots, and had
a New York steak with my New York ex.
265
00:14:58,544 --> 00:15:00,978
I tried, I really did, but nature and me...
266
00:15:01,047 --> 00:15:03,311
it's unnatural. And I love being with Aidan.
267
00:15:03,382 --> 00:15:07,182
I mean, there's no one in the world
that I would rather be...
268
00:15:07,687 --> 00:15:09,018
I'm sorry.
269
00:15:09,188 --> 00:15:12,351
- Is it okay to talk to you about this stuff?
- Go ahead, I'm okay.
270
00:15:12,425 --> 00:15:15,826
Good. I'm glad that we can talk
about this stuff. And listen...
271
00:15:15,895 --> 00:15:19,524
- if you meet someone, I want you to feel...
- I met someone.
272
00:15:28,908 --> 00:15:30,273
Who is she?
273
00:15:30,910 --> 00:15:33,504
If I tell you, you can't tell anyone.
274
00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,242
Is she...
275
00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:37,539
your imaginary girlfriend?
276
00:15:38,084 --> 00:15:39,711
She's an actress.
277
00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:42,177
Willow Summers.
278
00:15:42,255 --> 00:15:44,553
She's not an actress, she's a movie star.
279
00:15:44,624 --> 00:15:47,684
Did you see that Spy Girl movie?
I thought she was pretty good.
280
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,856
I don't know about that. I do know she
wears many wrong things on the red carpet.
281
00:15:51,931 --> 00:15:54,331
I cannot believe you are dating...
282
00:15:56,002 --> 00:15:58,197
someone named after a tree.
283
00:15:58,304 --> 00:16:00,772
- She's really something.
- How did you meet her?
284
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,503
She came up to me at her premiere thing
and asked for a light...
285
00:16:04,577 --> 00:16:08,035
and said, "I have two vices,
smoking and green-eyed men."
286
00:16:09,148 --> 00:16:12,015
- She's a smoothie.
- We talked, had a few...
287
00:16:13,919 --> 00:16:15,819
went up to her hotel...
288
00:16:16,522 --> 00:16:18,183
dress comes off...
289
00:16:18,324 --> 00:16:19,951
red panties.
290
00:16:20,426 --> 00:16:24,328
Kept her high heels on.
I lifted her up, I put her on the bed...
291
00:16:24,397 --> 00:16:26,558
Okay, that's plenty. Thanks.
292
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:30,667
That was about 30 seconds.
I think I did pretty good.
293
00:16:31,103 --> 00:16:34,072
How's the stock market treating you
these days?
294
00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:37,405
The thing of it is,
I can't get her out of my head.
295
00:16:38,244 --> 00:16:40,041
She's crazy about me.
296
00:16:40,146 --> 00:16:42,114
Willow Summers is crazy about me.
297
00:16:42,181 --> 00:16:43,443
Someone's crazy.
298
00:16:43,549 --> 00:16:46,575
I'm not kidding.
When I walked home from her hotel...
299
00:16:46,652 --> 00:16:48,643
- You walked?
- Yeah.
300
00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:51,550
I thought, this is something.
301
00:16:52,058 --> 00:16:53,958
There's something here.
302
00:16:55,194 --> 00:16:56,661
A connection.
303
00:16:56,762 --> 00:16:59,663
Yeah, the red panty, green-eyed connection.
304
00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:01,057
Fuck.
305
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:04,264
I think I'm in love.
306
00:17:07,473 --> 00:17:10,806
As I walked off my Big dinner,
I realized I'd gone from pretending...
307
00:17:10,876 --> 00:17:12,741
I didn't hate being in the country...
308
00:17:12,812 --> 00:17:16,077
to pretending I didn't hate listening
to Big's Willow talk.
309
00:17:16,148 --> 00:17:20,107
I may have been back in the city,
but now I was really suffer'n.
310
00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:31,860
One thing was clear.
I had to get back to the country.
311
00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:36,095
But this time, I wouldn't rely on the country
to provide the entertainment.
312
00:17:36,168 --> 00:17:38,227
I would take the entertainment with me.
313
00:17:38,304 --> 00:17:40,568
Otherwise known as Samantha.
314
00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:44,501
- What's next, Samantha?
- You've got to be kidding me.
315
00:17:44,577 --> 00:17:45,566
Come on.
316
00:17:45,644 --> 00:17:49,102
- We're baking a pie here.
- You're baking a pie. I'm just baking.
317
00:17:49,181 --> 00:17:51,081
It's hotter here than it is outside.
318
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:53,209
Can't we turn on the air conditioning?
319
00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:54,775
One cup of milk.
320
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:56,487
No, we can't.
321
00:17:57,656 --> 00:17:59,783
There is no air conditioner.
322
00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:02,117
Or milk for that matter.
323
00:18:02,762 --> 00:18:04,252
What time's the next train?
324
00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:06,127
No, you can't go.
325
00:18:06,198 --> 00:18:09,099
You have to entertain me
when Aidan goes to bed in an hour.
326
00:18:09,168 --> 00:18:11,295
You lured me here under false pretenses.
327
00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:13,702
I told you that it was rustic.
328
00:18:13,873 --> 00:18:16,637
Honey, don't kid yourself. It's a dump.
329
00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:19,303
Aidan worked very hard on this place.
330
00:18:19,945 --> 00:18:23,312
Did you know that he put
that hot water heater in all by himself?
331
00:18:23,382 --> 00:18:25,213
With his own bare hands.
332
00:18:25,284 --> 00:18:27,582
Actually, I was wearing gloves at the time...
333
00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:29,848
but thanks for the shout out.
334
00:18:30,723 --> 00:18:32,782
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
335
00:18:33,092 --> 00:18:34,423
It isn't you.
336
00:18:35,594 --> 00:18:37,221
I'm pre-heating the oven.
337
00:18:37,296 --> 00:18:39,457
It couldn't be any hotter in here.
338
00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:41,932
Or could it?
339
00:18:43,636 --> 00:18:45,968
Who's the farmer with the delts?
340
00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:51,066
Young McDonald?
341
00:18:51,343 --> 00:18:52,970
Ee-yi-ee-yi-oh!
342
00:18:53,045 --> 00:18:57,004
That's Luke Gilmore. Came out here
from the city after the last big market crash.
343
00:18:57,082 --> 00:18:59,983
He doesn't say much,
kinda keeps to himself.
344
00:19:00,352 --> 00:19:02,343
So, what does he do out here?
345
00:19:02,421 --> 00:19:04,548
Pushups, by the look of him.
346
00:19:09,161 --> 00:19:10,185
Oh, no.
347
00:19:10,963 --> 00:19:12,624
What are you up to, Sammy-Jo?
348
00:19:12,698 --> 00:19:13,687
Honey...
349
00:19:14,099 --> 00:19:16,397
if we're gonna bake us a pie...
350
00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:18,732
we're gonna need us some milk.
351
00:19:27,513 --> 00:19:28,980
Anybody home?
352
00:19:37,723 --> 00:19:39,850
- You lost?
- No.
353
00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:43,786
I'm staying next door,
and I'm baking a pie from scratch.
354
00:19:43,863 --> 00:19:45,888
And I suddenly realized...
355
00:19:46,398 --> 00:19:48,059
fresh out of milk.
356
00:19:49,502 --> 00:19:50,992
Help yourself.
357
00:20:07,586 --> 00:20:09,486
You from New York City?
358
00:20:09,755 --> 00:20:10,813
Yes.
359
00:20:11,056 --> 00:20:15,254
But only until I can afford
a little farm all my own.
360
00:20:19,732 --> 00:20:21,563
Ever milk a cow before?
361
00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:22,658
No.
362
00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:27,862
But something tells me
I'd be very good at it.
363
00:20:33,145 --> 00:20:35,978
Squeeze off the milk with your thumb
and forefinger.
364
00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:38,808
Then roll down into a fist.
365
00:20:39,118 --> 00:20:40,847
Squeeze and roll.
366
00:20:44,189 --> 00:20:45,816
Squeeze and roll.
367
00:20:46,058 --> 00:20:47,923
I think I can do that.
368
00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:50,654
Squeeze and roll.
369
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:52,657
Squeeze...
370
00:20:56,035 --> 00:20:59,266
I usually get a little warning
before that happens.
371
00:21:01,006 --> 00:21:03,304
I guess it just takes practice.
372
00:21:04,810 --> 00:21:07,506
Anything else around here need milking?
373
00:21:10,416 --> 00:21:12,680
While Samantha worked up an appetite...
374
00:21:12,751 --> 00:21:14,048
Trey, are you up here?
375
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:15,643
...Charlotte's eggs were ready.
376
00:21:15,721 --> 00:21:17,552
- In the bath.
- It's time.
377
00:21:17,623 --> 00:21:18,885
I'm ovulating.
378
00:21:18,958 --> 00:21:23,452
So, get out of the tub, get into this bed,
and make love to me, right now!
379
00:21:25,164 --> 00:21:27,132
Charlotte, I was just telling Trey...
380
00:21:27,199 --> 00:21:30,464
how much you remind me
of myself at your age.
381
00:21:36,442 --> 00:21:37,932
There you are.
382
00:21:38,077 --> 00:21:40,944
- What are you doing in here?
- What were you doing up there?
383
00:21:41,013 --> 00:21:42,674
Up where? What do you mean?
384
00:21:42,748 --> 00:21:45,774
What do I mean?
Your mother was watching you bathe.
385
00:21:45,851 --> 00:21:49,912
She was not. We were having
a conversation while I was in the bath.
386
00:21:49,989 --> 00:21:51,957
I don't know how you were brought up.
387
00:21:52,024 --> 00:21:56,723
But that is not acceptable parent-child
bath-time behavior past the age of 5!
388
00:21:56,996 --> 00:21:58,861
Even 4 in some cases.
389
00:21:58,931 --> 00:22:01,399
If you think that
I'm bringing a child into that...
390
00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:04,698
that I will be that kind of mother,
then you better think again.
391
00:22:04,770 --> 00:22:08,501
She may have raised you like that,
but I am not your mother.
392
00:22:10,142 --> 00:22:12,167
I was raised by a woman...
393
00:22:12,478 --> 00:22:14,002
named Eva Neal.
394
00:22:14,747 --> 00:22:16,374
She was my nanny.
395
00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:20,980
I don't remember ever seeing my mother...
396
00:22:21,587 --> 00:22:25,421
ever, except after her tennis lesson
and before the cocktail hour...
397
00:22:25,491 --> 00:22:29,359
when she would draw me a bath
and tell me how she'd spent her day.
398
00:22:29,428 --> 00:22:31,419
So, I know, I have always known...
399
00:22:31,497 --> 00:22:34,660
that you could never ever be
that kind of mother.
400
00:22:36,435 --> 00:22:38,926
That's my ovaries. I'm ovulating.
401
00:22:40,139 --> 00:22:41,606
We'd better get to work.
402
00:22:41,674 --> 00:22:44,234
Okay, but I have to get in the right position.
403
00:22:44,309 --> 00:22:47,210
Wait, stop, not like that.
I have to get my legs up.
404
00:22:47,479 --> 00:22:49,106
While trying to make a baby...
405
00:22:49,181 --> 00:22:51,877
Charlotte and Trey
accidentally destroyed Bunny's...
406
00:22:51,950 --> 00:22:54,578
and Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium...
407
00:22:54,653 --> 00:22:57,486
won first prize for the second year in a row.
408
00:22:58,524 --> 00:22:59,752
Back in New York...
409
00:22:59,825 --> 00:23:03,124
the patient, Steve,
was greeted by a patient Miranda.
410
00:23:10,903 --> 00:23:12,234
You're up.
411
00:23:12,538 --> 00:23:13,937
How are you?
412
00:23:15,908 --> 00:23:17,170
On drugs.
413
00:23:18,644 --> 00:23:21,078
- How long you been here?
- Not long.
414
00:23:22,648 --> 00:23:23,876
A while.
415
00:23:24,116 --> 00:23:25,583
Is that okay?
416
00:23:26,852 --> 00:23:27,910
I...
417
00:23:29,354 --> 00:23:30,946
I talked to the doctor.
418
00:23:31,023 --> 00:23:32,354
Yeah, how's he?
419
00:23:33,559 --> 00:23:36,722
He said everything looked pretty good
down there.
420
00:23:36,795 --> 00:23:39,389
I told him, frankly, I'd seen better.
421
00:23:40,099 --> 00:23:41,123
Sorry.
422
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,465
Visiting hours are over.
You're going to have to leave now.
423
00:23:44,837 --> 00:23:47,169
No, I'm sorry, I don't think so.
424
00:23:47,239 --> 00:23:50,800
- Are you a family member?
- I'm his in-case-of-emergency person.
425
00:23:50,876 --> 00:23:53,071
It's okay, Miranda, if you wanna go...
426
00:23:53,145 --> 00:23:55,636
Shut up or I'll give you a sponge bath.
427
00:23:56,381 --> 00:23:57,905
Twenty minutes.
428
00:23:59,251 --> 00:24:00,878
Drink your juice.
429
00:24:06,792 --> 00:24:11,092
Meanwhile, on his farm,
Young McDonald had Samantha.
430
00:24:20,072 --> 00:24:22,097
That was good.
431
00:24:22,574 --> 00:24:26,203
You're a man of few words,
but they're all the right ones.
432
00:24:26,678 --> 00:24:29,010
What are you doing next weekend?
433
00:24:32,284 --> 00:24:33,410
Look!
434
00:24:34,653 --> 00:24:36,120
I made crust!
435
00:24:36,555 --> 00:24:39,752
Now all we have to do is put apples in
and it's pie.
436
00:24:39,825 --> 00:24:42,487
- Look at that.
- No, you don't understand.
437
00:24:42,561 --> 00:24:46,691
The only thing that I have ever
successfully made in the kitchen is a mess.
438
00:24:46,765 --> 00:24:50,496
And several little fires. Come on,
you feel like peeling some apples?
439
00:24:50,569 --> 00:24:53,037
- I feel like taking a shower.
- Now?
440
00:24:53,705 --> 00:24:54,729
No!
441
00:24:54,807 --> 00:24:57,970
You've been outside all day,
and I've been cooped up in here.
442
00:24:58,043 --> 00:25:00,841
Look, we'll do it together.
It'll be fun, all right?
443
00:25:04,416 --> 00:25:06,043
- It's a squirrel!
- God damn it!
444
00:25:06,919 --> 00:25:08,648
- God!
- Are you okay?
445
00:25:08,854 --> 00:25:10,617
No, I am not okay!
446
00:25:11,490 --> 00:25:13,117
I burned my legs!
447
00:25:14,326 --> 00:25:15,725
And I...
448
00:25:16,461 --> 00:25:17,519
God!
449
00:25:18,163 --> 00:25:20,791
I hate that squirrel! I hate this oven!
450
00:25:21,934 --> 00:25:23,196
I hate...
451
00:25:23,468 --> 00:25:24,560
this!
452
00:25:24,703 --> 00:25:27,866
- House, just say it, you hate the house.
- I hate the house.
453
00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:29,271
Thank you.
454
00:25:29,875 --> 00:25:31,672
I'm sorry, I just...
455
00:25:33,712 --> 00:25:37,045
I don't belong here.
I don't know where anything goes...
456
00:25:37,115 --> 00:25:38,912
and I burned my legs.
457
00:25:39,117 --> 00:25:41,244
- It really hurts.
- Come here.
458
00:25:42,087 --> 00:25:44,021
Jump up here. Come on.
459
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,089
Where is it? Oh, there it is.
460
00:25:57,669 --> 00:25:59,193
Is that better?
461
00:26:02,808 --> 00:26:04,139
I'm sorry.
462
00:26:07,112 --> 00:26:09,012
I don't hate the house.
463
00:26:09,681 --> 00:26:11,444
I hate the squirrel.
464
00:26:11,984 --> 00:26:14,009
The squirrel's not so bad.
465
00:26:14,853 --> 00:26:17,083
The house, it'll get better.
466
00:26:17,656 --> 00:26:18,850
You'll see.
467
00:26:19,591 --> 00:26:22,151
Maybe from now on
I should come on the weekends.
468
00:26:22,227 --> 00:26:24,252
Yeah, or every other weekend.
469
00:26:27,299 --> 00:26:29,790
- I don't have to come at all.
- Okay.
470
00:26:38,844 --> 00:26:40,505
Weekends are good.
471
00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:56,989
One slow train ride
and two fast-food apple pies later...
472
00:26:57,763 --> 00:27:00,288
- These are surprisingly delicious.
- I know.
473
00:27:00,365 --> 00:27:02,890
Why would anybody go to the trouble
of making one...
474
00:27:02,968 --> 00:27:06,267
when you can buy one that's so perfect,
and individually sized?
475
00:27:06,939 --> 00:27:09,407
- Wait a minute, hold still, sweetie.
- What?
476
00:27:11,810 --> 00:27:13,072
Souvenir?
477
00:27:13,178 --> 00:27:16,614
- Please, I am never leaving this city again.
- Taxi!
478
00:27:18,250 --> 00:27:21,583
Actually, the country's looking pretty good
to me right about now.
479
00:27:21,653 --> 00:27:24,383
Really, so, you'll be back next weekend?
480
00:27:25,557 --> 00:27:27,115
Not next weekend, no.
481
00:27:27,192 --> 00:27:29,319
So, when are you going back?
482
00:27:30,862 --> 00:27:32,887
You gonna finish that pie?
483
00:27:33,899 --> 00:27:36,868
In the end, of course,
Aidan and I compromised.
484
00:27:36,935 --> 00:27:38,960
He spent money on air conditioning.
485
00:27:39,037 --> 00:27:42,131
And I spent enough time
in Suffern to realize...
486
00:27:42,207 --> 00:27:45,005
that city girls are just country girls...
487
00:27:45,744 --> 00:27:46,938
with cuter outfits.
488
00:27:47,012 --> 00:27:48,536
I got a cab!
489
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:59,000
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