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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
1
00:00:49,663 --> 00:00:53,599
A little past 10:00pm, I was dressed
to the nines at Brasserie 8-1/2.
2
00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:57,103
Located on the corner of "Right Now"
and "Everyone Was There"...
3
00:00:57,170 --> 00:00:59,695
it was the place to see and be seen.
4
00:01:00,006 --> 00:01:01,633
Look at that one.
5
00:01:02,976 --> 00:01:04,603
Mary, hail a cab.
6
00:01:06,213 --> 00:01:08,374
- Do you think he's a model?
- A model what?
7
00:01:08,448 --> 00:01:10,780
A model citizen, a model home...
8
00:01:10,884 --> 00:01:14,320
- a model airplane?
- I think he's the dirty-haired Gucci guy...
9
00:01:14,388 --> 00:01:17,050
- with clean hair.
- He's so versatile.
10
00:01:17,190 --> 00:01:20,318
- Why don't you go over and say hello?
- He's gorgeous.
11
00:01:20,394 --> 00:01:23,659
The only way to get a guy like him
interested in me would be to pay.
12
00:01:23,730 --> 00:01:26,528
My love, there's no need
for you to enter Hookerville.
13
00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:29,193
Carrie, I know what I look like.
14
00:01:29,903 --> 00:01:32,133
Then you can't see what I see.
15
00:01:35,409 --> 00:01:36,603
Carrie!
16
00:01:37,444 --> 00:01:41,005
Lynne Cameron was a much sought after
fashion-show producer...
17
00:01:41,081 --> 00:01:44,209
as valuable to a show's success
as Valium or Velcro.
18
00:01:44,284 --> 00:01:47,913
I just told Damian you have just
so fucking saved my life.
19
00:01:47,988 --> 00:01:51,048
- I did?
- Sorry, this is my boyfriend, Damian.
20
00:01:51,425 --> 00:01:55,657
I use the term "boyfriend" loosely,
as Damian is clearly a homosexual.
21
00:01:55,896 --> 00:01:59,127
In that case, this is my boyfriend, Stanford.
22
00:01:59,332 --> 00:02:03,063
You so have to be
in this fashion show I'm doing.
23
00:02:03,136 --> 00:02:05,969
A mix of models
and New York people with style.
24
00:02:06,039 --> 00:02:09,839
And no one is more New York
or has more style than you.
25
00:02:11,011 --> 00:02:12,603
Lynne, I'm a writer.
26
00:02:12,679 --> 00:02:16,308
You're fucking doing my show
if I have to hunt you down...
27
00:02:16,483 --> 00:02:20,385
skin you alive, and have one
of the other models fucking wear you.
28
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,247
I'll call you next week.
Could this place be any louder?
29
00:02:26,193 --> 00:02:27,251
Bye.
30
00:02:28,695 --> 00:02:30,219
I am so coming.
31
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:32,491
To what? I'm not a model.
32
00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:34,896
Then you can't see what I see.
33
00:02:37,471 --> 00:02:41,237
I'll start with a salad
with extra blue cheese dressing. Thank you.
34
00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:44,776
Are the vegetables
on the veggie plate organic?
35
00:02:44,878 --> 00:02:48,314
They have beef pot pie on the menu,
what do you think?
36
00:02:48,715 --> 00:02:52,151
I'll just have a cup of hot water with lemon.
Thank you.
37
00:02:52,219 --> 00:02:54,983
Isn't it hard to eat just organic all the time?
38
00:02:55,055 --> 00:02:56,545
It is so hard.
39
00:02:57,023 --> 00:03:00,322
Last night I could not stop thinking
about a Big Mac.
40
00:03:00,393 --> 00:03:03,260
I finally had to get dressed,
go out and pick up a guy.
41
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,763
Talk about a happy meal.
42
00:03:04,831 --> 00:03:07,959
Lady, you have never looked better.
Your body is amazing.
43
00:03:08,268 --> 00:03:09,667
I hope so.
44
00:03:09,736 --> 00:03:12,796
I'm having nude photographs
taken on Wednesday.
45
00:03:13,607 --> 00:03:15,700
What're you gonna do?
Have postcards made up...
46
00:03:15,775 --> 00:03:17,606
to hand out to prospective dates?
47
00:03:17,677 --> 00:03:19,770
This is not about a man's approval.
48
00:03:19,846 --> 00:03:21,871
This photo is just for me.
49
00:03:22,115 --> 00:03:24,242
So when I'm old
and my tits are in my shoes...
50
00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:27,252
I can look at it and say, "Damn, I was hot."
51
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,312
- Isn't that a little narcissistic?
- No one thinks that...
52
00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:32,790
when you get your seventh-grade
picture taken.
53
00:03:32,859 --> 00:03:35,054
- You weren't naked in that.
- That we know of.
54
00:03:35,128 --> 00:03:36,925
Look, I like my body.
55
00:03:37,063 --> 00:03:39,725
I'm getting these pictures taken,
what's the big problem?
56
00:03:39,799 --> 00:03:41,323
No problem, you're my hero.
57
00:03:41,401 --> 00:03:44,393
I think it's fantastic
that you can just put it out there.
58
00:03:44,538 --> 00:03:47,871
I can't even say yes
to being in some charity fashion show.
59
00:03:47,974 --> 00:03:49,498
- "New York Style"?
- Yeah.
60
00:03:49,576 --> 00:03:51,908
You were asked to be part of that?
That's huge.
61
00:03:51,978 --> 00:03:55,175
- All the top designers are doing it.
- They want you to be a model?
62
00:03:55,248 --> 00:03:57,944
No, it's a mix of real people...
63
00:03:58,051 --> 00:03:59,814
and models. I know the producer.
64
00:03:59,886 --> 00:04:02,650
You have to do it, you live for fashion.
65
00:04:02,722 --> 00:04:05,122
I do not live for fashion.
66
00:04:05,191 --> 00:04:08,592
How many fashion shows
did you drag me to during Fashion Week?
67
00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:11,358
- Eight, what's your point?
- Why are you turning down...
68
00:04:11,431 --> 00:04:15,026
- the chance to actually be in one?
- I do not belong on a runway.
69
00:04:15,101 --> 00:04:17,695
Runways are for models, not writers.
70
00:04:17,771 --> 00:04:20,535
What's the difference
between strutting down a runway...
71
00:04:20,607 --> 00:04:22,837
and the way you strut down Fifth Avenue?
72
00:04:22,909 --> 00:04:24,069
Strut?
73
00:04:24,878 --> 00:04:28,143
- Do I strut? Am I a strutter?
- I think it'd be fun.
74
00:04:28,448 --> 00:04:32,145
I was a teen model when the Ralph Lauren
store opened in New Haven.
75
00:04:32,218 --> 00:04:35,710
Okay, it's amazing I was able
to keep my lunch down just now.
76
00:04:35,789 --> 00:04:36,756
I just...
77
00:04:36,823 --> 00:04:41,385
I cannot imagine walking down a runway
while people sit there and judge me.
78
00:04:41,494 --> 00:04:44,520
- No one would judge you.
- We judge models all the time.
79
00:04:44,598 --> 00:04:47,089
But you're not a model,
you're one of the real people.
80
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,156
Exactly.
81
00:04:48,234 --> 00:04:52,728
I don't want people to think that I can't see
the difference between a model and me.
82
00:04:52,806 --> 00:04:56,606
Who gives a fuck what people think?
This is a fabulous opportunity.
83
00:04:56,776 --> 00:04:57,765
Honey.
84
00:04:57,844 --> 00:05:00,813
- You'll probably get to keep the clothes.
- I thought of that!
85
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,815
- I'd do it in a New York minute.
- So would I.
86
00:05:05,452 --> 00:05:07,443
What do you think, mutey?
87
00:05:10,423 --> 00:05:13,483
While Miranda would never dream
of walking on a runway...
88
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,994
she had no problem running on one.
89
00:05:29,275 --> 00:05:32,802
I happen to know you were on that treadmill
for longer than 30 minutes.
90
00:05:32,879 --> 00:05:35,211
That's illegal here at Crunch Fitness.
91
00:05:35,281 --> 00:05:38,250
I'm starting to train for the marathon.
92
00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,143
- First time.
- Wow!
93
00:05:40,887 --> 00:05:42,286
Good for you.
94
00:05:42,355 --> 00:05:46,416
I was the captain of my high-school
track team, but the marathon...
95
00:05:48,094 --> 00:05:49,356
I'm Dave.
96
00:05:51,031 --> 00:05:52,259
Miranda.
97
00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,359
Have a good workout.
98
00:05:56,836 --> 00:05:58,167
That's it?
99
00:05:59,739 --> 00:06:01,764
- Is there more?
- I hope so.
100
00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:07,237
I've been watching you for months.
I think that you are very sexy.
101
00:06:08,982 --> 00:06:10,506
So, what's the problem?
102
00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:12,642
He said, "I think you're very sexy."
103
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:14,544
And?
104
00:06:14,721 --> 00:06:18,248
I was wearing no makeup
and my Hanes $3 old man's undershirt.
105
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:19,447
Nice.
106
00:06:19,526 --> 00:06:22,086
I can't believe a guy
would think that I was sexy.
107
00:06:22,162 --> 00:06:25,063
- Okay, I'm hanging up now.
- I'm serious.
108
00:06:25,432 --> 00:06:26,990
Smart, yes.
109
00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:30,195
Sometimes cute, but never sexy.
Sexy is the thing...
110
00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:33,831
I try to get them to see me as,
after I win them over with my personality.
111
00:06:34,474 --> 00:06:36,533
You win men over with your personality?
112
00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:38,575
They want you to be a model?
113
00:06:39,546 --> 00:06:41,013
Okay, I'm hanging up now.
114
00:06:41,414 --> 00:06:44,542
Later that night, I got to thinking
about Narcissus.
115
00:06:44,617 --> 00:06:48,075
A man so consumed with his own image,
he drowned in it.
116
00:06:48,488 --> 00:06:52,652
Did he have no best friends
to mirror back a healthier view of himself?
117
00:06:52,726 --> 00:06:55,991
And why is it that we can see
our friends perfectly...
118
00:06:56,062 --> 00:06:59,793
but when it comes to ourselves,
no matter how hard we look...
119
00:06:59,866 --> 00:07:02,266
do we ever see ourselves clearly?
120
00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:07,904
Samantha, on the other hand,
saw herself a little too clearly.
121
00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:09,099
Okay, Samantha...
122
00:07:09,175 --> 00:07:12,667
Tiger, here, has a variety of music choices
to ease you into the shoot...
123
00:07:12,746 --> 00:07:15,579
and help you to feel
more comfortable. Tiger?
124
00:07:15,648 --> 00:07:18,913
- I've got some Steely Dan...
- I'm comfortable.
125
00:07:22,655 --> 00:07:24,179
Okay. Camera, Tiger.
126
00:07:27,527 --> 00:07:29,051
Yes, sir.
127
00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:39,968
- Do you like your gynecologist?
- She's amazing, why?
128
00:07:40,039 --> 00:07:42,132
I think I might wanna see someone else.
129
00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:44,870
- What's happening?
- Trey and I are still just talking.
130
00:07:44,944 --> 00:07:49,142
- We're not ready to move back in yet.
- What's happening with your vagina?
131
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:52,812
Sweetie, I'm not bugged,
it's just us listening.
132
00:07:52,886 --> 00:07:55,980
Maybe a yeast infection.
But my gynecologist says no.
133
00:07:56,055 --> 00:07:58,785
- But something's definitely off.
- What are the symptoms?
134
00:07:58,858 --> 00:08:02,954
I don't wanna talk about this. Can you
call my machine and leave her number?
135
00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:06,323
Do you know anyone
that Stanford could go out with?
136
00:08:06,699 --> 00:08:09,395
If we don't find someone,
he's gonna start dating hookers.
137
00:08:09,469 --> 00:08:10,697
Hookers?
138
00:08:11,004 --> 00:08:12,232
Exactly.
139
00:08:13,573 --> 00:08:14,972
Charlotte...
140
00:08:15,074 --> 00:08:17,975
would you say that I'm strutting right now?
141
00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:22,544
Charlotte decided for Stanford Blatch,
it would have to be someone cute.
142
00:08:22,615 --> 00:08:25,106
Someone with style, someone like...
143
00:08:25,618 --> 00:08:28,553
Anthony Marantino,
her wedding-gown stylist.
144
00:08:28,621 --> 00:08:31,818
- What?
- Anthony, hi. It's Charlotte York MacDougal.
145
00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:35,222
Sorry, thought it was my mother.
15 phone calls to make sure...
146
00:08:35,295 --> 00:08:38,753
I get her the cheapest sheets I can,
from Bed, Bath and friggin' Beyond.
147
00:08:38,998 --> 00:08:41,125
I was wondering
if you were dating anyone now.
148
00:08:41,334 --> 00:08:42,824
I'm dating everyone now, why?
149
00:08:43,303 --> 00:08:45,498
I have this friend, Stanford...
150
00:08:45,572 --> 00:08:46,596
What's he look like?
151
00:08:46,973 --> 00:08:48,235
He is adorable.
152
00:08:48,308 --> 00:08:50,572
In a movie, who would play him?
153
00:08:51,611 --> 00:08:53,203
I don't know...
154
00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:56,071
A younger Ed Harris.
155
00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:57,738
That's hot.
156
00:08:57,817 --> 00:09:01,412
And speaking of hot, Miranda ended
her first date with Captain Crunch.
157
00:09:01,487 --> 00:09:04,183
- That was fun.
- I hope I didn't talk too much.
158
00:09:04,257 --> 00:09:08,660
I think the only words you actually said
all night were, "That was fun."
159
00:09:19,138 --> 00:09:20,935
God, you are so sexy.
160
00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:25,204
What? You don't think so?
161
00:09:31,551 --> 00:09:32,848
Maybe he was right.
162
00:09:32,919 --> 00:09:36,286
After all, who was Miranda
to argue with the Captain?
163
00:09:43,496 --> 00:09:45,760
- Hello?
- Miss Motherfucker...
164
00:09:45,865 --> 00:09:49,062
why have you not returned
my last 200 phone calls?
165
00:09:49,302 --> 00:09:50,462
Lynne.
166
00:09:51,204 --> 00:09:53,968
I really don't think
that I should do this show.
167
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,942
I mean, come on, I am not a model.
And as much as I would like to think...
168
00:09:58,011 --> 00:10:01,276
Carrie, you're in or you're out,
I don't have time for this.
169
00:10:01,347 --> 00:10:04,976
I'm sure Dolce & Gabbana
can find someone else to dress.
170
00:10:05,251 --> 00:10:06,411
Dolce & Gabbana?
171
00:10:06,486 --> 00:10:08,750
Each designer picks the person
they want to dress.
172
00:10:09,188 --> 00:10:11,088
Dolce & Gabbana picked me?
173
00:10:11,658 --> 00:10:14,821
Yes, fuckette.
And those are some picky Italians.
174
00:10:17,363 --> 00:10:20,059
Do you think that I would be able
to keep the outfit?
175
00:10:26,673 --> 00:10:27,867
What's up, love?
176
00:10:28,207 --> 00:10:29,572
I'm coming.
177
00:10:35,848 --> 00:10:37,110
Me likie.
178
00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:42,218
Perfect in the bust and the waist. Turn, love.
179
00:10:42,422 --> 00:10:43,821
Do we likie?
180
00:10:44,424 --> 00:10:45,982
No likie the length.
181
00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:47,959
We must take it up about four feet.
182
00:10:49,662 --> 00:10:52,426
I know, I'm too short.
183
00:10:52,832 --> 00:10:56,859
But I'm very comfortable in heels.
Honestly, the higher the better.
184
00:10:56,936 --> 00:10:59,632
So feel free to put me up
in the big gal shoes.
185
00:10:59,706 --> 00:11:01,333
Walk, love.
186
00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:09,642
If we gave it to Heidi,
we wouldn't have to take it up.
187
00:11:09,716 --> 00:11:10,910
Heidi Klum?
188
00:11:12,518 --> 00:11:14,383
Yes, turn, love.
189
00:11:14,454 --> 00:11:16,251
Yes, trot back.
190
00:11:16,756 --> 00:11:17,848
Trot?
191
00:11:19,993 --> 00:11:21,085
Good.
192
00:11:22,095 --> 00:11:24,325
Look what the pussies dragged in.
193
00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,827
Hello, Oscar.
194
00:11:25,898 --> 00:11:28,423
We're just calling me "O" now, love.
195
00:11:28,568 --> 00:11:29,557
Who's this?
196
00:11:29,635 --> 00:11:31,967
Carrie Bradshaw, our New York Style model.
197
00:11:32,839 --> 00:11:34,363
Model, God, no.
198
00:11:35,708 --> 00:11:37,801
- I'm a writer.
- I'm Paul Denai.
199
00:11:37,877 --> 00:11:40,141
- I'm a photographer. I'm...
- Sure, I love...
200
00:11:40,213 --> 00:11:42,773
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry. I just...
201
00:11:43,149 --> 00:11:45,242
I know your photographs.
202
00:11:45,752 --> 00:11:49,188
I'm doing a little behind-the-scenes book
about Fashion Week.
203
00:11:49,255 --> 00:11:51,382
Do you mind if I shoot your fitting?
204
00:11:53,493 --> 00:11:56,485
Sorry, I wasn't ready. So go ahead.
205
00:11:56,562 --> 00:11:59,531
That's the point, don't mind me.
I like the element of surprise.
206
00:11:59,599 --> 00:12:01,499
I could give you a surprise, love.
207
00:12:01,968 --> 00:12:04,266
Now, what's your opinion, love?
208
00:12:05,638 --> 00:12:08,607
- Me love or him love?
- You, love.
209
00:12:10,343 --> 00:12:12,106
I don't know, whatever you think.
210
00:12:12,178 --> 00:12:14,476
No, changed my mind, got something better.
211
00:12:18,684 --> 00:12:20,151
That was bad.
212
00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:24,516
I'm sorry, I'm very uncomfortable
having my photograph taken.
213
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:28,822
How does a girl who doesn't like having her
picture taken wind up in a fashion show?
214
00:12:28,895 --> 00:12:31,090
I'm in it for the free goods.
215
00:12:32,498 --> 00:12:33,692
Maybe...
216
00:12:33,766 --> 00:12:37,725
if I explained how a camera works
over a glass of wine sometime...
217
00:12:38,037 --> 00:12:39,061
I've...
218
00:12:39,138 --> 00:12:42,972
- never been a gal to turn down a free lesson.
- Or a free dress.
219
00:12:43,476 --> 00:12:45,444
Here it is. Do we likie?
220
00:12:46,913 --> 00:12:48,175
We likie!
221
00:12:51,317 --> 00:12:53,251
And speaking of uncomfortable...
222
00:12:53,319 --> 00:12:54,513
Okay...
223
00:12:54,921 --> 00:12:56,650
you can put your legs down now.
224
00:12:56,722 --> 00:12:58,849
It is not a yeast infection.
225
00:12:59,392 --> 00:13:02,088
- It's not?
- I have an entire file of women...
226
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:04,652
all with the same symptoms.
Itching, stinging, burning.
227
00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:07,631
All of them think
they have a yeast infection. It's not.
228
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,600
It could be vulvodynia.
229
00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:12,661
- Is it serious?
- No.
230
00:13:12,738 --> 00:13:15,901
It's mostly just uncomfortable.
We can get it under control.
231
00:13:15,975 --> 00:13:18,808
I'm gonna prescribe a light antidepressant.
232
00:13:19,178 --> 00:13:22,773
- But I'm not depressed.
- It's not for you. It's for your vagina.
233
00:13:26,385 --> 00:13:28,353
Your vagina's depressed?
234
00:13:28,788 --> 00:13:31,348
The mood elevator
sort of corrects the imbalance.
235
00:13:31,424 --> 00:13:33,722
Wait, how do you know
your vagina's depressed?
236
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:36,353
- There are symptoms.
- It can't meet its deadline?
237
00:13:36,429 --> 00:13:38,624
It always wants to go to Krispy Kreme?
238
00:13:39,565 --> 00:13:42,159
It's so funny, my vagina's depressed.
239
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,332
Stop.
240
00:13:48,774 --> 00:13:51,538
- I might have vulvodynia.
- Vulva-what-ya?
241
00:13:51,611 --> 00:13:53,135
So, everyday...
242
00:13:53,212 --> 00:13:55,612
I have to keep a vagina journal.
243
00:13:55,882 --> 00:13:57,076
Come on.
244
00:13:57,150 --> 00:14:00,051
A "Dear vagina, why so blue?"
Kind of journal?
245
00:14:00,186 --> 00:14:01,676
"Dear vagina...
246
00:14:01,754 --> 00:14:03,654
"guess who I have a crush on?"
247
00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:05,315
More like:
248
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,783
"Itchy today? Not itchy."
249
00:14:08,127 --> 00:14:10,618
- Sounds like a bestseller.
- Ready to order?
250
00:14:11,497 --> 00:14:15,866
I guess we're still waiting.
But could I have a hot water and lemon?
251
00:14:15,935 --> 00:14:16,697
Thanks.
252
00:14:16,769 --> 00:14:20,830
I'm fine, but, Charlotte, maybe
your hmm-hmm would like an order of fries.
253
00:14:22,008 --> 00:14:23,498
I guess not, thank you.
254
00:14:23,843 --> 00:14:25,140
Sorry I'm late.
255
00:14:25,845 --> 00:14:28,245
I had to pick up my nude contact sheets.
256
00:14:28,314 --> 00:14:29,303
Look.
257
00:14:29,382 --> 00:14:31,373
Okay, but only until the food arrives.
258
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:34,749
Charlotte, I want your
professional art-eye opinion.
259
00:14:39,592 --> 00:14:41,389
That's not very arty.
260
00:14:41,694 --> 00:14:43,321
I can see your...
261
00:14:43,863 --> 00:14:45,228
Everything.
262
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,030
This is the full frontal.
I just did that to warm up.
263
00:14:50,102 --> 00:14:52,093
You should have warned me, really.
264
00:14:52,171 --> 00:14:54,901
What's the big deal? It's just a vagina.
265
00:14:55,107 --> 00:14:58,440
It's magnified.
I've never even seen mine that close.
266
00:14:58,511 --> 00:15:01,275
You've never seen yourself
up close and personal?
267
00:15:01,347 --> 00:15:04,214
- Have you seen yours that close?
- How'd I get involved?
268
00:15:04,283 --> 00:15:06,877
You've never looked at yourself
with a hand mirror?
269
00:15:06,953 --> 00:15:08,352
Oh, my God!
270
00:15:08,554 --> 00:15:11,489
Honey, I insist you go home right now
and take a look.
271
00:15:11,557 --> 00:15:15,994
Or better yet, take my compact
and make a quick trip to the ladies' room.
272
00:15:16,696 --> 00:15:18,493
I don't want to look.
273
00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:21,960
I think it's ugly.
274
00:15:22,802 --> 00:15:25,134
Maybe that's why it's depressed.
275
00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:27,997
What did I miss?
276
00:15:28,874 --> 00:15:30,432
On their second date...
277
00:15:30,509 --> 00:15:32,500
Miranda did most of the talking.
278
00:15:32,578 --> 00:15:35,046
She was feeling confident and sexy.
279
00:15:35,548 --> 00:15:37,072
I like my life.
280
00:15:37,383 --> 00:15:39,977
I love my job, I love my friends.
281
00:15:41,087 --> 00:15:44,784
She couldn't believe how comfortable
this new Miranda felt.
282
00:15:45,157 --> 00:15:47,489
And I love meeting new people...
283
00:15:48,361 --> 00:15:49,623
like you.
284
00:15:57,036 --> 00:16:00,301
Miranda had no idea what had changed.
285
00:16:07,713 --> 00:16:09,442
I want pure class.
286
00:16:09,715 --> 00:16:11,239
I'm thinking ash...
287
00:16:11,317 --> 00:16:14,286
or a charcoal-gray matte inside the frame.
288
00:16:17,823 --> 00:16:19,085
Inch on either side?
289
00:16:19,158 --> 00:16:21,991
Even though Samantha
had done the photo just for her...
290
00:16:22,061 --> 00:16:24,689
she still wanted
to be seen a certain way by men.
291
00:16:24,764 --> 00:16:26,823
Charcoal would bring out the gray tones.
292
00:16:26,899 --> 00:16:29,834
The matte should stop
about an inch away from my breast...
293
00:16:29,902 --> 00:16:31,961
right here, see my breast?
294
00:16:32,238 --> 00:16:35,799
And then stop right around here,
near my ass.
295
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:37,637
See that?
296
00:16:38,077 --> 00:16:40,102
Right near my ass.
297
00:16:41,547 --> 00:16:43,310
How's next Thursday?
298
00:16:44,617 --> 00:16:45,879
Whatever.
299
00:16:47,186 --> 00:16:51,179
And you took this one of Cindy Crawford.
See, "Photo by Paul Denai."
300
00:16:51,257 --> 00:16:53,418
How can you still remember? It was the '90s.
301
00:16:53,492 --> 00:16:54,857
It was '92.
302
00:16:55,094 --> 00:16:56,789
I loved her beauty mark so much.
303
00:16:56,862 --> 00:16:59,592
I used to pencil one on,
you know, and then...
304
00:16:59,765 --> 00:17:02,290
I'd move it around
whenever I had a blemish.
305
00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:04,996
So, you know, it'd be here, then here...
306
00:17:05,071 --> 00:17:07,198
and sometimes here and here.
307
00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:10,641
Here's another one.
308
00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:13,270
- Man.
- I can't believe you have this book.
309
00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:16,611
- It's getting embarrassing.
- Are you crazy? I love this.
310
00:17:16,682 --> 00:17:19,207
When I first moved to New York,
and I was broke...
311
00:17:19,285 --> 00:17:21,913
sometimes I would buy Vogue
instead of dinner.
312
00:17:21,987 --> 00:17:24,080
I just felt it fed me more.
313
00:17:24,957 --> 00:17:28,188
I used to do all that high-fashion shit...
314
00:17:29,362 --> 00:17:32,422
but the behind-the-scenes stuff
I'm doing now is so much better.
315
00:17:32,498 --> 00:17:33,692
It's more real.
316
00:17:33,766 --> 00:17:35,495
Real. Ick.
317
00:17:36,302 --> 00:17:39,760
The reality of people
and all their little flaws...
318
00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:43,073
it's the little flaws
that make them so much more beautiful.
319
00:17:43,142 --> 00:17:45,406
Forget reality and tell me about the models.
320
00:17:45,478 --> 00:17:48,379
Who's a big bitch and who's a bigger bitch?
321
00:17:48,447 --> 00:17:49,675
Sorry...
322
00:17:50,316 --> 00:17:52,216
I never click and tell.
323
00:17:52,718 --> 00:17:55,278
Why are you so fascinated with the models?
324
00:17:55,855 --> 00:17:57,447
I just love 'em.
325
00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:00,224
They're just beautiful.
326
00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:02,552
I wanna show you something.
327
00:18:03,362 --> 00:18:04,852
You show me...
328
00:18:06,065 --> 00:18:07,464
one model...
329
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:09,762
who's more alive...
330
00:18:11,404 --> 00:18:13,497
or more beautiful than her.
331
00:18:25,217 --> 00:18:28,618
- So, which one is your new boyfriend?
- It was only one kiss.
332
00:18:28,687 --> 00:18:32,418
It's so predictable.
A model dating a photographer.
333
00:18:32,491 --> 00:18:34,584
Stanny, I'm a model.
334
00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:40,796
Excuse me.
335
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,400
I may have a stroke. Do I look all right?
336
00:18:45,471 --> 00:18:47,632
I'm nervous about the Charlotte fix-up.
337
00:18:47,706 --> 00:18:51,164
You look fabulous, have fabulous seats.
Everything's gonna be fabulous.
338
00:18:51,243 --> 00:18:54,644
- I can't think about you now. I'm a model.
- You're a supermodel.
339
00:18:54,713 --> 00:18:57,045
I made them put me
in these super high heels.
340
00:18:57,116 --> 00:18:58,947
I'm gonna be so freaking tall.
341
00:18:59,151 --> 00:19:01,676
Supermodel and super size it, please.
342
00:19:02,988 --> 00:19:05,980
Excuse me, hi, I'm Carrie Bradshaw.
Where do I go?
343
00:19:06,058 --> 00:19:08,049
Over with the non-models.
344
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:10,223
What's her problem?
345
00:19:11,096 --> 00:19:13,326
- Gucci and Dolce and Dior.
- Oh, my.
346
00:19:13,799 --> 00:19:16,495
Look, this is the Polaroid of the dress.
347
00:19:18,504 --> 00:19:19,766
Me likie.
348
00:19:20,739 --> 00:19:22,297
That's a fashion thing.
349
00:19:22,575 --> 00:19:24,566
Here's one of Frank Rich.
350
00:19:25,144 --> 00:19:27,169
And Fran Lebowitz.
351
00:19:27,313 --> 00:19:29,543
These are the other real people?
352
00:19:29,882 --> 00:19:31,679
Okay, what the fuck's wrong?
353
00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:33,578
Frank Rich, Lynne?
354
00:19:33,786 --> 00:19:37,278
Fran Lebowitz? What, Dolce & Gabbana
couldn't get Ed Koch?
355
00:19:37,356 --> 00:19:39,790
Gucci got him, what's the problem?
356
00:19:40,025 --> 00:19:41,686
I'm such an idiot.
357
00:19:41,794 --> 00:19:45,195
- Actually convinced myself I belonged here.
- You do belong here.
358
00:19:45,264 --> 00:19:46,561
Can I go home?
359
00:19:46,632 --> 00:19:49,567
No, the entire show is timed per model.
360
00:19:49,635 --> 00:19:51,068
I'm a non-model.
361
00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:52,762
But you're fabulous.
362
00:19:53,839 --> 00:19:55,204
Lighten up.
363
00:19:56,442 --> 00:19:59,741
Okay, so you're not Heidi Klum.
364
00:20:00,346 --> 00:20:03,281
But you're the modeliest of the real people.
365
00:20:06,185 --> 00:20:10,383
I mean, he told me I was sexy.
And then he didn't want to kiss me.
366
00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:14,190
Was it me? Suddenly I wasn't sexy?
What does it mean?
367
00:20:14,693 --> 00:20:16,524
Who knows? He's a man.
368
00:20:16,595 --> 00:20:19,086
You can lay your pussy on a table
in front of one...
369
00:20:19,164 --> 00:20:21,462
and still not know what he's thinking.
370
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:27,439
And just when I thought
it couldn't get any worse...
371
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:30,436
There's been a change,
you're not wearing this.
372
00:20:30,876 --> 00:20:32,639
You're wearing this.
373
00:20:33,112 --> 00:20:34,204
Okay.
374
00:20:34,847 --> 00:20:37,338
I'm gonna need to speak to someone.
375
00:20:39,184 --> 00:20:40,811
I had to lose the dress, love.
376
00:20:40,886 --> 00:20:43,912
I saw that Dior is showing something similar
right before you.
377
00:20:44,323 --> 00:20:45,984
It's a fashion house of cards.
378
00:20:46,158 --> 00:20:48,626
I can't wear jeweled underwear.
379
00:20:48,694 --> 00:20:52,494
I just want you to look at them.
Aren't they fantastic?
380
00:20:53,065 --> 00:20:55,090
How can I make this clear?
381
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:57,233
Me no likie.
382
00:20:58,804 --> 00:21:01,864
Paul, can you do something?
Okay, but not that.
383
00:21:02,207 --> 00:21:03,606
Oh, my God!
384
00:21:03,676 --> 00:21:07,203
- Try them on, you'll love them.
- No, please, really, I'm gonna faint.
385
00:21:07,279 --> 00:21:11,272
I can't wear jeweled panties
and strut out in front of Frank Rich.
386
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:14,478
I respect Frank Rich. Frank Rich is a writer.
387
00:21:15,454 --> 00:21:17,479
You're not just wearing panties, love.
388
00:21:17,556 --> 00:21:21,151
They come with a fantastic coat.
Trot round there and try them on.
389
00:21:22,861 --> 00:21:26,763
I have a certain look, you know?
And I just really don't think...
390
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,531
that jeweled panties is it.
391
00:21:30,869 --> 00:21:33,394
If you look like a whale,
we won't send you out there.
392
00:21:33,472 --> 00:21:36,964
We're Dolce & Gabbana, for Chrissakes.
Now come out or I'm coming in.
393
00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:38,932
God!
394
00:21:39,244 --> 00:21:40,541
Fantastic.
395
00:21:40,613 --> 00:21:43,343
Now the hair's all wrong. We need big hair.
396
00:21:44,483 --> 00:21:46,508
Char, this is so exciting.
397
00:21:52,858 --> 00:21:56,225
Stanford Blatch, this is Anthony Marantino.
398
00:21:56,562 --> 00:21:57,586
Hi.
399
00:21:58,163 --> 00:22:00,256
Marantino, is that Italian?
400
00:22:00,933 --> 00:22:02,195
Sicilian.
401
00:22:04,536 --> 00:22:06,197
Is that different?
402
00:22:07,773 --> 00:22:08,865
Yeah.
403
00:22:12,778 --> 00:22:15,008
I'd better go check on Carrie.
404
00:22:18,751 --> 00:22:20,082
Ed Harris?
405
00:22:21,553 --> 00:22:23,521
Try "Ed, I have no hair-is."
406
00:22:24,289 --> 00:22:26,052
I thought you two would hit it off.
407
00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:28,116
Why, because he's gay and I'm gay?
408
00:22:28,193 --> 00:22:30,388
Let me clear something up for you.
409
00:22:30,462 --> 00:22:33,989
I'm a nice little package.
I got good arms and a high, tight ass.
410
00:22:34,066 --> 00:22:36,034
I could do a lot better.
411
00:22:37,670 --> 00:22:40,366
Ten minutes and ten hair extensions later...
412
00:22:40,439 --> 00:22:43,169
I can't believe Charlotte
would set me up with such a queen.
413
00:22:43,242 --> 00:22:46,109
Is that who she thinks I am?
Someone who'd date such queen?
414
00:22:46,178 --> 00:22:50,615
I don't have time to decipher the levels
of queendom in your world right now.
415
00:22:51,150 --> 00:22:54,085
Would you please
go get me another champagne?
416
00:22:57,589 --> 00:22:59,216
That is big hair.
417
00:22:59,391 --> 00:23:02,155
- Thank you.
- Orlando, she looks fabulous.
418
00:23:02,695 --> 00:23:04,993
We need the big eyes
to go with the big hair.
419
00:23:05,064 --> 00:23:08,693
- Kevyn Aucoin, Carrie Bradshaw.
- Nice to meet you, ready for makeup?
420
00:23:08,767 --> 00:23:09,756
Okay, sure.
421
00:23:14,006 --> 00:23:16,531
Hi, I know you're a genius,
but here's the thing.
422
00:23:16,608 --> 00:23:19,338
- I'm a writer.
- I know, I'm a big fan of your column.
423
00:23:19,411 --> 00:23:21,641
Don't worry, you're gonna look fabulous.
424
00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:22,874
- Okay.
- Okay?
425
00:23:23,282 --> 00:23:25,113
- Here.
- Nobody's listening to me.
426
00:23:25,184 --> 00:23:27,812
- They keep telling me I'm fabulous.
- You are fabulous.
427
00:23:27,886 --> 00:23:30,354
Bring Samantha here.
She'll tell me the truth.
428
00:23:30,422 --> 00:23:33,016
- I can't go back. That queen's out there.
- Go.
429
00:23:37,796 --> 00:23:40,594
Crisis. Carrie needs to see you backstage.
430
00:23:45,571 --> 00:23:46,833
Where's her highness?
431
00:23:46,905 --> 00:23:49,601
- What?
- Your little friend, where is he?
432
00:23:51,677 --> 00:23:53,008
He had to go.
433
00:23:53,245 --> 00:23:55,145
Why? He didn't like me?
434
00:23:55,214 --> 00:23:56,738
He had...
435
00:23:57,449 --> 00:23:59,349
a decorating emergency.
436
00:23:59,918 --> 00:24:03,183
I've been rejected by someone
I wasn't interested in.
437
00:24:03,388 --> 00:24:05,379
I hate when that happens.
438
00:24:07,726 --> 00:24:09,387
Lynne, we're okay to go.
439
00:24:21,974 --> 00:24:23,339
Lights, go.
440
00:24:23,675 --> 00:24:25,404
Music cue four, go.
441
00:24:30,783 --> 00:24:31,943
Gucci.
442
00:25:06,485 --> 00:25:07,747
Samantha?
443
00:25:08,787 --> 00:25:12,518
Tell me the truth. I know people
don't mean it when they say that, but I do.
444
00:25:12,591 --> 00:25:13,785
Honey...
445
00:25:13,859 --> 00:25:15,383
you're a model.
446
00:25:15,460 --> 00:25:18,054
- You'd tell me, right?
- Absolutely.
447
00:25:18,664 --> 00:25:20,188
You're a model.
448
00:25:20,499 --> 00:25:23,332
Look how tall I am. The shoes were my idea.
449
00:25:25,037 --> 00:25:27,028
- Christian Dior.
- I gotta get out there.
450
00:25:27,105 --> 00:25:28,766
- Go, model.
- All right.
451
00:25:36,215 --> 00:25:37,876
You're Heidi Klum.
452
00:25:39,518 --> 00:25:42,646
- Wow! Those are fantastic.
- Really?
453
00:25:44,389 --> 00:25:45,913
Do I look okay?
454
00:25:46,291 --> 00:25:49,192
- You look fabulous.
- Thanks. Okay, let's go.
455
00:25:49,494 --> 00:25:50,586
Okay.
456
00:25:52,598 --> 00:25:53,656
Bye.
457
00:25:55,734 --> 00:25:56,962
Bye-bye.
458
00:26:00,239 --> 00:26:02,935
- Wait till you see our gal.
- Really?
459
00:26:07,079 --> 00:26:08,979
When is she coming out?
460
00:26:09,748 --> 00:26:11,079
She's next.
461
00:26:13,018 --> 00:26:15,145
- Dolce & Gabbana.
- Carrie, go.
462
00:26:23,495 --> 00:26:24,655
Didn't I tell you?
463
00:26:28,967 --> 00:26:30,559
Fuck me hard!
464
00:26:31,937 --> 00:26:33,268
Heidi, go.
465
00:26:39,444 --> 00:26:41,742
Oh, my God, she's fashion roadkill.
466
00:26:44,249 --> 00:26:46,217
Stop fucking taking my picture.
467
00:26:46,885 --> 00:26:51,754
I had a choice, I could slink off the runway
and let my inner model die of shame...
468
00:26:52,024 --> 00:26:55,790
or I could pick myself up,
flaws and all, and finish.
469
00:27:04,937 --> 00:27:06,598
And that's just what I did.
470
00:27:06,672 --> 00:27:09,641
Because when real people fall down in life...
471
00:27:09,908 --> 00:27:12,809
they get right back up and keep on walking.
472
00:27:32,631 --> 00:27:33,962
Katia, go.
473
00:27:46,545 --> 00:27:49,173
Turns out, my little act of bravery...
474
00:27:49,247 --> 00:27:52,705
inspired three other people
to acts of bravery as well.
475
00:27:53,051 --> 00:27:55,645
Miranda faced her fear of knowing the truth.
476
00:27:55,721 --> 00:27:57,484
- Hi.
- Hi.
477
00:27:57,556 --> 00:27:59,251
I'm really confused.
478
00:27:59,324 --> 00:28:01,986
I thought we had a good time
and then you never called.
479
00:28:02,060 --> 00:28:04,961
And I never called because you never called.
480
00:28:05,030 --> 00:28:07,123
I guess that's fine, but...
481
00:28:07,232 --> 00:28:09,928
I just have to know. Did I do something?
482
00:28:10,035 --> 00:28:11,297
No. Yeah...
483
00:28:11,803 --> 00:28:13,293
I don't know.
484
00:28:13,372 --> 00:28:16,034
We were sitting on the couch,
and you just...
485
00:28:16,975 --> 00:28:19,705
You seem a little full of yourself.
486
00:28:21,646 --> 00:28:24,171
Okay, glad we straightened that out.
487
00:28:25,817 --> 00:28:27,307
Cheeseburger and fries.
488
00:28:27,386 --> 00:28:31,823
Samantha faced her fear of what real food
would do to her perfect figure.
489
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,354
Thanks.
490
00:28:36,628 --> 00:28:37,890
Nice ass.
491
00:28:41,066 --> 00:28:43,034
I didn't tip you enough.
492
00:28:44,369 --> 00:28:47,736
And Charlotte faced her fear
of seeing herself.
493
00:28:57,516 --> 00:28:59,780
And just like Narcissus before her...
494
00:28:59,851 --> 00:29:03,309
Charlotte became so mesmerized
by what she saw, that...
495
00:29:05,657 --> 00:29:06,817
And as for me...
496
00:29:06,925 --> 00:29:09,758
I tucked my jeweled underwear
and my inner model away...
497
00:29:09,828 --> 00:29:10,954
where they belonged...
498
00:29:11,029 --> 00:29:13,862
and went back to my life as a real person.
499
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:33,000
Subtitles conformed by
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500
00:29:43,000 --> 00:30:59,000
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