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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:17,974 [screaming] 2 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,803 [struggling, muffled screaming] 3 00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:25,677 [tense piano notes] 4 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:47,482 - [Brianna] I got it. - [squealing with laughter] 5 00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:53,096 [Calvin] Beware the tickle monster. 6 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:57,448 Tickle monster can attack any place, any time. 7 00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,102 [kids giggling] 8 00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:02,540 The tickle monster can attack across 9 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:06,066 very strong Wi-Fi connections. 10 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,983 [Brianna] Stop it, tickle monster! 11 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,376 Sorry, girls. 12 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,943 [Brianna] I miss you, Daddy. 13 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:17,338 Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. 14 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:20,254 I know it's not a real tickle. I'm sorry. 15 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,778 - [kids yelling, indistinct] - No tickle monster tonight. 16 00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,867 Tonight-- tonight's mommy's bedtime. 17 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,608 [Brianna] Oh, no. 18 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,349 I know. I'm sorry. 19 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,220 [Brianna] No, not Mommy. Boo, boo. 20 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:33,702 We all know mommy's bedtime is super duper boring. 21 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,269 What's the-- what's the story tonight? 22 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,055 I said, what-- what story are you going to read tonight? 23 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,752 [Brianna] [creepy voice] Scary story! 24 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:45,279 Okay. Well, all right. Tell Mommy-- tell your mother 25 00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:47,150 she has to do the voices. 26 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,151 [Brianna] Daddy does fun voices like this-- 27 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,152 Yeah. 28 00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:50,762 [girl doing silly voices] 29 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:53,504 Yeah. Yeah, Mommy always does half assed voices. 30 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:55,811 Yeah, she does half assed-- 31 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,378 Tell her she does half assed voices. 32 00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:59,119 Tell her she has to commit. 33 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:03,862 She can't skimp out on the voices. No, no, no. 34 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:07,170 [Brianna] Can you make a video of you doing the voice? 35 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,825 Hey, can-- Brianna, can you put Mommy on? 36 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:12,654 [kid continuing to vocalize] 37 00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:14,569 Brianna? Tell-- tell-- 38 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:18,050 tell Mommy Daddy wants to talk to her. 39 00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:19,400 [Brianna] Love you, Daddy. 40 00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:22,664 Well, I love you, sweetheart. I love you. 41 00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,970 I love both of you so much, and I miss you so much. 42 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,146 [Brianna] When are you coming home, Daddy? 43 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,712 And I'll see you Sunday night, okay? 44 00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:29,018 [Brianna] When are you coming back? 45 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,324 Yeah, I'll be back Sunday. 46 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,021 [Brianna] Bye! 47 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,066 ♪ Like cognac, I'm a big threat♪ 48 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,938 ♪ I just came to sight see and get your bitch wet ♪ 49 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,940 ♪ Ooh, that's a big flex ♪ 50 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,463 ♪ Stock going up like ♪ 51 00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,509 I know it's a-- I know it's a cliché, 52 00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:44,773 and everyone thinks this about their collegiate experience, 53 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,731 but what I truly believe-- 54 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:50,822 But I truly believe MSC is the best school on the face of 55 00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:53,869 the earth, and all of you guys are the best classmates 56 00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:55,523 a guy could ever want. 57 00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,743 [gulping] 58 00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:01,268 ♪ Like a crack addict, see the numbers, think it's ♪ 59 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,444 We all know Bill is the best athlete 60 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:04,967 in the alumni association. 61 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:09,885 That is, if you consider slurping clam chowder a sport. 62 00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:12,366 ♪ You might see me posted up on Rosa Parks down the road ♪ 63 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,629 I'm just kidding, Bill. 64 00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:16,587 ♪ Got the coldest flow, and the coldest heart,♪ 65 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:21,070 Ed here, when he takes out his pitching wedge, I'd like to... 66 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:26,597 pitch him the idea of just tossing all of his clubs 67 00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:30,079 in the lake, instead of trying to get out of that sand trap. 68 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,386 I just feel bad for the sand, you know? 69 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,953 I just feel bad for the sand. 70 00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,694 ♪ Text, shit, ♪ 71 00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,392 ♪ I couldn't tell from these big chains ♪ 72 00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:39,958 ♪ I couldn't tell ♪ 73 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:43,223 Let this be the best reunion that has ever been. 74 00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:46,269 I mean, maybe I'm being hyperbolic about that, 75 00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:51,013 but I-- I can think of no other place I'd rather be. 76 00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:52,493 And that's just-- 77 00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:56,453 This is so stupid. I sound like a fucking idiot. 78 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:07,334 [woman moaning] 79 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:12,774 - [woman] Oh, shi-- - [skin slapping] 80 00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,776 [woman moaning] 81 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:18,823 [light jazz instrumental] 82 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,534 [chair dragging] 83 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,843 [phone ringing] 84 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,150 [sighing] Oh, God. 85 00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:43,021 [phone ringing] 86 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:46,155 Hey, Mike. What's going on, man? Are you on the-- 87 00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:48,679 Hey, can you take me off speaker? 88 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:50,290 Yeah, just take me off speaker. 89 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,640 Yeah, man, I'm here. That's why I'm-- 90 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,381 Yeah, I got here, like, way early, and I'm, like, 91 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:56,818 setting up all this shit myself. 92 00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,689 Is there, like, there's, like, nobody here yet. 93 00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:01,083 None of the alumni association, none of the outreach guys. 94 00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:03,041 No-- nobody's here. Nothing's set up yet, 95 00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,522 and we've got, like, three hours before 300 people show up. 96 00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,482 I said, we've got three hours before-- 97 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,353 Hey, Mike, can you just take me off speaker? 98 00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:11,789 Just take me off speaker. 99 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,270 [sighing] All right, man. 100 00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:17,273 Well, don't leave me hanging. 101 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:18,796 Hurry up and I'll hold down the fort. 102 00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,451 For Christ's sake, Mike. 103 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:24,585 Take me off speaker. I said I'll hold down the fort. 104 00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:29,677 Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay, fine. 105 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:32,549 Yep. Yeah. All right, bye. 106 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:41,297 Oh, sorry. Registration doesn't open 'til 5:30. 107 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:44,344 Can you come back in a couple hours? You're here for the-- 108 00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:45,867 You're looking for the reunion, right? 109 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,782 The-- the main event starts at noon tomorrow, 110 00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,523 and I'm not supposed to, um-- 111 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:53,178 I can't technically sign you in until 5:30 today. 112 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:56,443 You know, tell you what, 113 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:57,705 if it's easier for you to do just-- 114 00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,489 Do you want to just do it now? 115 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,578 I can just get it done so you don't have to do it later. 116 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,015 I'll just-- Let me just go ahead and register you. 117 00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,321 What's your name? 118 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,236 [Rachel] Rachel Lerner. 119 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:11,414 [Calvin] Rachel? 120 00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:16,245 No way! Holy shit. 121 00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:17,942 [Rachel] Surprise, surprise. 122 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:21,772 Oh, it is a surprise party up in here. This is-- 123 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:27,430 Wow, this is crazy. This is certifiable. I mean. 124 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,519 Oh, wow. 125 00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,303 - [Calvin] I totally didn't-- - You don't recognize me? 126 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:34,611 I mean, no. Of course, I-- Yes, I recognize you. 127 00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:38,441 It just took me a minute to, uh, I can't believe this. 128 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,964 I can't believe you're here. 129 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:41,662 Ta-da 130 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:44,969 Ta-da! Rachel Lerner. 131 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,884 Calvin Green. 132 00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:51,367 I mean, how have you-- How've you been? 133 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:52,716 It's been a minute. 134 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,457 [Rachel] It has been a minute. 135 00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:56,067 Um, should I-- Do you want me to come back later? 136 00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:57,112 - I'm a little, uh-- - [Calvin] No. 137 00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:58,635 Apparently, I'm a little early. 138 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,681 No. Early bird catches the, uh you know... 139 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,379 I'll just-- Let me just get you signed in now. 140 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:04,772 I just gotta find your name. 141 00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,295 It'll-- It'll take me two seconds. 142 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:09,080 It's-- Wow. It's really good to see you. 143 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,518 You were not expecting to see me, huh? 144 00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:15,173 [laughing] I didn't know what to expect, who to expect. 145 00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:16,523 Uh... 146 00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,350 I mean, you look-- You look amazing. 147 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,178 - Seriously. - Oh, [scoffing] look at you, 148 00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:23,051 Mister 'I'm wearing pastel shirt,' Mr. 'Chinos.' 149 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,705 [Calvin] Is this what you call pastel? 150 00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,011 You look good, Mr. Fancy Pants. 151 00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:29,013 You, on the other hand... 152 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,798 - [Rachel] Stop. - No, no, no, no. You-- 153 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:33,714 I mean, like, the cliché thing of, like, 154 00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:37,326 you look exactly the same, but it's seriously true. 155 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:40,155 It's like you look exactly the same. 156 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:42,679 I mean, can you recommend a moisturizer? 157 00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,899 Should I be moisturizing this shit? 158 00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,509 [Rachel] I've aged. Trust me. 159 00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,032 Wait and see this weekend, though. 160 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:50,165 Half the guys are going to have hair plugs. 161 00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:53,255 The women will have Botox, spray tans, and Spanx. 162 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:54,865 It's like, who do you think you're kidding? 163 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,215 Do you actually think you're fooling anybody? 164 00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,479 Everyone can see right through you. 165 00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:02,351 You're old! 166 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:07,835 Old-ish. I'm like, you know, just a little bit old, 167 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,620 it's just like a little-- Like a-- like a middle old. 168 00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:12,535 [Rachel] Time flies. 169 00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,494 - [Calvin] Eh, time flies. - When you're having fun. 170 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:20,195 You keep setting up, if you-- Don't let me stop you. 171 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,936 [Calvin] This weekend should be, uh... 172 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:26,462 I mean, fun is maybe not the right-- Maybe totally weird 173 00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:29,160 and flashback-y is the more appropriate, uh... 174 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:32,686 And it should be interesting, to say the least. 175 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,122 [Rachel] It's bound to be full of surprises. 176 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,471 [Calvin] Oh, no big surprise. 177 00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,212 Jell-O shots will be in full swing. 178 00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:38,996 I mean, people think they can take a time machine 179 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,564 and drink how they drank in undergrad, 180 00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:42,826 which is just not-- You know, 181 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,089 it's not possible, or advisable. 182 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,961 [Rachel] Yeah, you're preaching to the choir. 183 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:49,441 Now, you used to-- You could always hold your own in terms 184 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,880 of-- You could drink me under the-- I was a lightweight. 185 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,751 [Rachel] I was the heavyweight champion of the world. 186 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:57,928 You could drink a screwdriver in, like, 0.5 seconds, 187 00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:00,540 like, uh, record speed, like-- 188 00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,020 "Rachel, where did your drink go?" 189 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,761 [Rachel] Down the hatch. 190 00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,546 - Down the hatch, high tolerance. - High tolerance. Yep. 191 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,112 You never even seemed that tipsy. 192 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,158 Yeah, you were Mr. Tipsy after half a beer. 193 00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:11,681 Two sips, two sips 194 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,684 I was-- Oh, man, I was-- talk about a cheap date. 195 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,599 - I was not a big drinker. - [Rachel] Like me? 196 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:17,992 The biggest lush in the Big Ten? 197 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,515 [Calvin] Well, no, you weren't a lush. 198 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,125 You weren't, like, a sloppy drunk. 199 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:22,866 It's not like you were out getting wasted. 200 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,781 Well, I got wasted once. 201 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,435 That was the first and last time I drank 202 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,089 a solo cup full of whiskey. 203 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,092 - [phone ringing] - Ooh. 204 00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:34,312 Hey. What's up? 205 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,622 Yeah. I thought we're going to try and hold my calls. 206 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:42,712 Is this about the-- Yeah, tell them it's a long position. 207 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:45,410 It's a long position and we're going long on turbines, 208 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,934 the turbine portfolio is long. 209 00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:51,808 Hey, hey, uh, hold my calls 'til Monday, okay? 210 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,505 Out of office, automatic reply. 211 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,464 Go and get an early start on the weekend, all right? 212 00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,772 [chuckling] Right, yeah. It's five o'clock somewhere. 213 00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:01,339 Exactly. All right. Yeah. bye. 214 00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:05,779 That's the problem with hiring a super competent, 215 00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,215 super intelligent assistant. 216 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,043 They actually try to get you to do work. 217 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,479 I would like an assistant. 218 00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:11,741 [Calvin] Take one of mine. I have three, 219 00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,264 but she's like my main one. 220 00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:14,962 The other two just handle market reports. 221 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:16,224 Am I coming across as a complete 222 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:17,921 and total asshole right now? 223 00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:20,271 Just partial. Maybe like one third of an asshole. 224 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:21,838 [Calvin] A partially obstructed rectum. 225 00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:23,927 Fair enough, that's fair. 226 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,758 Well, I should let you, um-- I'll come back later. 227 00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:32,196 [Calvin] No rush. I'm not, like, kicking you out. You want to-- 228 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:33,807 Can I get you some coffee? 229 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,460 I'll always take a coffee. 230 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,245 [Calvin] Can't vouch for the-- 231 00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,073 This might not be third wave coffee right here. 232 00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,858 I'm not a coffee snob. I just want it in my mouth. 233 00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:43,381 [Calvin] Uh huh. 234 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:44,992 [Rachel] I was at the airport at, like, 6 AM 235 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,471 - [Calvin] You're based in... - [Rachel] Phoenix. 236 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,517 [Calvin] Phoenix. Nice. That sounds-- 237 00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:49,823 I'm picturing sun. 238 00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:51,694 [Rachel] Sun is an understatement. 239 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,174 - [Calvin] Uh-huh. - [Rachel] Inferno would be 240 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:55,219 more accurate, 112 degrees. 241 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:58,005 Dry heat, though, right? Isn't it dry? 242 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:02,009 It's hell on earth. It's brushfires. It's flames. 243 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:03,924 You'll be, like, literally driving and you'll see, like, 244 00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,708 smoke coming off, uh-- Thank you. 245 00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,231 Smoke coming off the asphalt. 246 00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,711 [Calvin] Oh, I guess you won't be working for 247 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,670 the Phoenix Board of Tourism anytime soon. 248 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,802 - What brought you out there? - [Rachel] Work. 249 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,544 Work. Cool. What do you-- What's your line of, uh... 250 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:16,980 Oh, pharmaceuticals. 251 00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,548 [Calvin] Pharmaceuticals. Excellent. Sweet. 252 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:21,855 Hope you brought some with you. Just kidding. 253 00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,291 [Rachel] You're a kidder. 254 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,727 Kidding aside, college reunion. 255 00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,337 I'm sure you could move some units. 256 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,253 Erectile dysfunction pills would probably be at a premium. 257 00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,038 [Calvin] Oh, you could make a killing. 258 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,517 Should I set up shop? 259 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,171 Start dealing drugs to all the alumni? 260 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,607 [Calvin] Amphetamines would go like gangbusters. 261 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,566 - Anti-anxiety-- - Do you have anxiety? 262 00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:42,223 Oh, no. I didn't mean me. 263 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,704 Pretty even keeled and not, uh-- 264 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:46,706 [Rachel] You never feel anxious? 265 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,273 A feeling of foreboding, impending doom. [giggling] 266 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,754 [Calvin] I mean, the stock market makes me nervous, 267 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,843 but you won't find me popping pills about it. 268 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,584 Not that there's anything wrong with, uh-- 269 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,020 With what? 270 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,022 [Calvin] With drugs, prescription drugs. 271 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:01,764 The pharmaceutical industry writ large. 272 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,418 - I wasn't disparaging your-- - [Rachel] My industry. 273 00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:06,247 Your industry is above reproach in my book. 274 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:07,335 [Rachel] Your industry being? 275 00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:09,250 Finance. [chuckling] 276 00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:10,991 Yes, I'm in finance. 277 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,645 I sell financial instruments for the, uh-- 278 00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,387 I mean, it's private equity, but before you throw up, 279 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:20,087 what's cool is we invest exclusively in clean energy. 280 00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:24,656 Green tech, wind, renewables, you know, solar, 281 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,571 and we were the first to lead 282 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,269 the charge in divesting our mutual funds of any blue chip 283 00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:29,749 that isn't carbon neutral. 284 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,882 We believe sustainability equals profitability. 285 00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,493 Well, look at you living your best life, 286 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:39,671 fighting the good fight, uh, reducing your carbon footprint, 287 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,412 and making a shit ton of money? 288 00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,066 I bet the school roped you into fund raising, huh? 289 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,373 [Calvin] The university asked me to-- 290 00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:47,462 The-- the-- My buddy, Mike, actually, asked me to join 291 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,159 the alumni association, 292 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,770 and the alumni Association puts on these events, 293 00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:52,510 this event, and so, yeah, 294 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:53,990 this is what you get for getting here super early, 295 00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,470 you get to set up folding tables. 296 00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,037 Ugh. Folding tables suck! 297 00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,256 - [Calvin] They totally suck. - Manual labor? 298 00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:01,650 So, I'm just going to be a bad volunteer 299 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,957 and abdicate my folding table responsibilities. 300 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,437 Do not take responsibility. What's the worst they can do? 301 00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:08,004 Put you in jail? The penitentiary 302 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:09,397 for people who fail to fold tables? 303 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,226 [chuckling] Huh, that's weird. 304 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,705 [Rachel? What's weird? 305 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,490 I can't seem to find your name in the-- 306 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,013 You're not in the master list for the registration. 307 00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,189 - Did you RSVP? - Oh, I did. 308 00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,452 I mean, at least I think I did. Hmm. 309 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,367 [Calvin] I don't know why I can't-- 310 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:25,587 It's not under your last name. Did you change your last name? 311 00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:26,980 Why would I change my name? 312 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:28,068 [Calvin] Did you get-- Are you married? 313 00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:29,939 - No. - Huh. 314 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:33,073 I don't know why I can't, uh, maybe-- 315 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,815 I'm sure it's just clerical, or you know what? 316 00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:38,382 I bet you RSVPed late and they didn't add it to the-- 317 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:39,819 [whispering] You might have to sneak me in. 318 00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,951 You might have to crash the party. 319 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:43,997 I won't tell if you won't. 320 00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:46,869 It'll be our dirty little secret. [chuckling] 321 00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:52,135 Well, um, have fun at the big boy table. 322 00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,789 Try not to do any keg stands. 323 00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,704 [Calvin] No keg stands in the forecast. 324 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:59,142 Besides, it wasn't the econ majors who partied like, uh... 325 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,666 It was the theater majors who were party animals. 326 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,104 [Rachel] Oh, theater majors, huh? 327 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,453 Going to a theater department party 328 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,150 was like going to a brothel. 329 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:08,978 [Rachel] Oh, my God. Brothel's a bit hyperbolic. 330 00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:11,372 People were hooking up left and right. Guys and girls, 331 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,156 guys and guys, girls and girls. 332 00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:16,246 You know, somebody was passing around ecstasy. 333 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,900 Everybody was singing show tunes. 334 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,642 The show tunes I can vouch for. 335 00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:23,340 [Calvin] I was like a fish out of, uh-- I mean, 336 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,429 all these theater people were just looking at me like, 337 00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,649 "Who invited Mr. Uptight over here?" 338 00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,651 "Mr. I'm Studying Economics." 339 00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:32,132 It was like performance art making you go to those parties. 340 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,569 No, no. You were always 341 00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:35,831 trying to get me into trouble. 342 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,789 Trouble is my middle name... 343 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,182 legally. 344 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,792 It's on my birth certificate. 345 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,272 Besides, guys like you always have 346 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,795 a way of getting out of trouble. 347 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,145 Does a guy like me typically 348 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:46,842 take a women's studies class? 349 00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,713 [Rachel] You were the only guy in that class. 350 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:49,845 Guys can be feminists. 351 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:50,977 And girls can be goalies 352 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:52,108 in the National Hockey League. 353 00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:53,718 You made me a feminist. 354 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,764 You converted me after class 355 00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:57,461 at that shitty coffee shop, 356 00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:58,854 with that shitty coffee. 357 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,073 [Rachel] Tuesdays and Thursdays. 358 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,292 Tuesdays and Thursdays. 359 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:08,342 Our little debate society. Our little weekly dialectic. 360 00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,778 I would school you. 361 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:10,953 [Calvin] I got schooled. 362 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,476 Yes. Let me see. 363 00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,000 Intersectionality, 364 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:16,219 feminist epistemology, queer theory. 365 00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:17,917 You gave as good as you got. 366 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,831 You got me to read The Road to Serfdom. 367 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,703 You got me to read The Second Sex. 368 00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,574 I mean, you really opened my eyes to-- 369 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:27,491 You made me perfectly aware of my own heteronormative, 370 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,493 cisgendered, white male privilege, 371 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:30,930 and the certain pitfalls, 372 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:32,409 the certain trappings that accompany-- 373 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,063 White male privilege. 374 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:35,630 [Calvin] It bears repeating, and you were right. 375 00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:36,848 Like, we all bring our own bias, you know, 376 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:37,806 our own upbringing to bear 377 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,155 - on the way we perceive, - Uh-huh. 378 00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:40,243 [Calvin] or think we perceive events. 379 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:41,679 There's no objective truth, 380 00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:43,377 there's no-- What did you call that? 381 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:48,773 You had, like, an actual philosophic moniker that I'm-- 382 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:50,688 The Archimedean point. 383 00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,864 [Calvin] There's no Archimedean point, right. 384 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,779 [Calvin] There is no theoretically neutral 385 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,826 vantage point because nobody, and I mean nobody, is neutral. 386 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,523 Gender studies. 387 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,483 Remember that-- We got into that big fight about 388 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,180 the male and female brain. 389 00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:05,921 [Rachel] It was less of a fight and more of a war. 390 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,749 Charles Murray aside, 391 00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,316 the idea that there are differences between different 392 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,057 brains and different groups of people, 393 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,581 even within the same group of people, across race, 394 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:16,192 across nationality, across, yes, gender, 395 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,933 No! [chuckling] 396 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,456 [Calvin] It is in fact scientifically indisputable. 397 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:21,328 Okay, I would dispute that. 398 00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,069 [Calvin] The brains in men and the brains in women are not 399 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:25,506 the same brains from a-- from a biological-- 400 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,247 From the standpoint of cortisol levels, 401 00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:29,901 adrenal response, impulse control, 402 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,555 the whole prefrontal cortex is-- 403 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,122 [Rachel] Now you're just making shit up. 404 00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:36,169 But women's brains are better. They just are. 405 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:37,997 Just look at history. History is-- What is it? 406 00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:41,130 It's-- it's genocide and famine and mass destruction. 407 00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:44,568 It's war. Why? Because it's men. 408 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,527 That's how our brains work. 409 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,311 You don't think men and women think differently? 410 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,966 Let women rule the world, seriously. 411 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,447 Let women be in charge. Every country, every continent. 412 00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,492 Boom! World peace. World's a better place. 413 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:59,018 In what world are you-- Mm... you are either deliberately, 414 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:02,673 or ignorantly, omitting thousands of year-- [sighing] 415 00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:04,153 Women are equally capable of, um-- 416 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,286 [Calvin] Violence? Yes, everyone's capable-- 417 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:09,593 Greek mythology, Greek tragedy. Okay? 418 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,378 There are plenty of examples of women doing 419 00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:14,772 some pretty brutal, some pretty fucked up shit. 420 00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,339 [Calvin] By and large-- 421 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,341 The women of Lemnos decapitate their husbands 422 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:22,041 for sleeping with their slaves. Clytemnestra killed Agamemnon. 423 00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:25,261 Medea. She kills her own kids, for Christ's sake. 424 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:30,092 Oh, what was that play? I saw you in, in school. 425 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,833 [Rachel] You saw a few of my-- 426 00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:35,010 Not the weird stuff, not all the weird off campus, uh-- 427 00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,925 - [Rachel] Performance art. - Not the performance art. 428 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:39,275 That was very political, very confusing. 429 00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:41,234 [Rachel] I didn't spoon feed the audience. 430 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,323 What was the play? You were acting in that-- You were doing 431 00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:46,456 that play and the-- Like, the Greek play. 432 00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:48,067 You were acting in that play with the goats-- 433 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,069 Euripides! The Cyclops. 434 00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,766 [Calvin] Euripides, right. 435 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,420 It was not about goats. 436 00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,161 [Calvin] Goats were involved. 437 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,293 I just remember, I had never seen a Greek play before, 438 00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,382 and it was like, "Wow," it was, like, intense. 439 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,123 It was an immersive production. 440 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:04,126 It was in-your-face, kind of cross-dressing type of-- 441 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,433 I just remember you were wearing that-- 442 00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:10,785 You had like a large, uh, phallic type of, uh... 443 00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,656 - [Rachel] A phallus? - [scoffing] Yes. 444 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,180 You had a phallus strapped around your-- 445 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:17,139 You're right. Yeah. I was wearing a strap-on, 446 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:20,969 a very large, bulging, prehistoric hard on. 447 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:22,797 - It was very intimidating. - [Rachel] Mhm, yeah. 448 00:18:22,971 --> 00:18:24,146 But, you were good. 449 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:27,802 Your performance was very, uh-- You played the goat. 450 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,152 I played the satyr. 451 00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:31,980 Satyr, right. 452 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:34,374 Yeah. Satyrs are technically only half goat. 453 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,027 Half goat, half man. 454 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,029 The drunken fawns of the forest, 455 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:41,120 registered sex offenders of the Greco-Roman era. 456 00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:42,730 They worship Dionysus, 457 00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:45,167 the God of binge drinking and gangbangs. 458 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,690 [Calvin] For a student production, 459 00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:48,257 it was a pretty realistic looking orgy. 460 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,216 Oh, it was a Bacchanal, thank you very much. 461 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:51,913 And I remember you had on that, 462 00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:56,091 like, that mask thing? Your character was wearing 463 00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:59,616 that, like, weird looking goat mask with, like, the horns. 464 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,358 I made that mask myself. Papier maché. 465 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:03,925 I still have it, actually. 466 00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,187 [Calvin] Does the goat mask come in handy? 467 00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:06,493 You'd be surprised. 468 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,756 Do you dress up like livestock for Halloween? 469 00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:12,586 [laughing] I, uh, I break it out for special occasions. 470 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,065 - [Calvin] Special occasions? - Intimate moments. 471 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,241 [Calvin] Intimate moments. 472 00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:18,157 Moments of the intimate variety. 473 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,549 [Calvin] I find that kind of disturbing. 474 00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:20,942 I find it kind of kinky. 475 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,383 I'm a married man. Kinky is not really, uh-- 476 00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,211 Uh, you were never particularly, 477 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:30,995 - No, no. - uh, yeah back in the day-- 478 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,389 - Well, you, on the other hand-- - Was I kinky in college? 479 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:34,999 Well, I mean, kinky's-- Kinky sounds kind of, uh-- 480 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,958 Pejorative, diminutive? 481 00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,526 I mean, it's not like, uh, it's not a negative quality. 482 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,092 - It's not a character flaw. - Would you describe me, 483 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:42,616 as if someone asked you what I was like. 484 00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:44,226 Would you be like, "Oh, Rachel Lerner. Yeah. 485 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,315 - She was kind of kinky." - No, um, of course not. 486 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,969 No. That's not the first word that comes to mind. 487 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,449 But, it's like the third 488 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,190 or fourth word that comes to mind? 489 00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:53,017 No, no, no. What I meant-- What I'm saying is what 490 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,238 I meant to say is, compared to me back in the day, 491 00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:59,589 compared to my, um, very, uh, 492 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,069 limited, very pathetic 493 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,245 - lack of uh, experience, - Mm-hm. 494 00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:04,725 - I was just a little less, - Uh-huh. 495 00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,509 - and I'm just a little more-- - Kinky. 496 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,294 Experienced. You had more experiences. 497 00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:09,730 Right, I slept around more. 498 00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:12,559 Well, uh, numbers wise. 499 00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:15,301 [both laughing] 500 00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:16,432 If we're just comparing numbers. 501 00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:17,564 I slept with more people 502 00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:19,435 From a numbers standpoint. 503 00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:21,524 Yes, I was pretty... 504 00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:23,047 - Inexperienced. - Inexperienced. 505 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,614 No fellatio during freshman orientation? 506 00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:26,007 - No, no. - No hand jobs 507 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:27,226 - in your sophomore dorm room? - No. 508 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,966 No sorority girls your senior year? 509 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,230 - No, no. - You didn't sleep around? 510 00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,710 I only slept with one person in college. 511 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,147 You know I only slept with one person in college. 512 00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:39,107 Even after we broke up? 513 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,370 Even after we broke up. 514 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:56,733 Well, I, uh, hate to break up the pre-reunion reunion, 515 00:20:56,907 --> 00:20:58,909 - but I should probably, uh-- - Totally. 516 00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:00,346 You know, keep setting up some stuff. 517 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,912 Definitely. 518 00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:05,873 But, I'll definitely see you later at the, uh, 519 00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:09,006 I mean, obviously we'll meet up mañana, at the shindig. 520 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:10,530 [Rachel] Shindig, indeed. 521 00:21:10,704 --> 00:21:12,271 The etymology of shindig, but also the-- 522 00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:14,621 - Lots of catching up to do. - Lots to catch up on. 523 00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:16,318 [Rachel] I'll catch you before you leave. 524 00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:19,713 Please do. Don't be, uh, don't be a stranger. Don't-- 525 00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:21,497 don't get lost in the shuffle. 526 00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:23,282 [Rachel] Don't worry, you can't get rid of me that easy. 527 00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:25,022 If you can't find me, 528 00:21:25,196 --> 00:21:27,982 we can always, um, rendezvous at the bar. After the... 529 00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:32,639 [Calvin] Rendezvous? Yes, at the bar. the bar in the hotel. 530 00:21:32,813 --> 00:21:35,337 - [Rachel] Hotel bar. - Hotel bar. After-- 531 00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:38,209 Or before. You know, the hotel bar does have a hell of 532 00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,995 a happy hour. I think I'm going to go pre-game it. 533 00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:42,475 [Calvin] Pregame that shit. 534 00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:45,086 Care to join? 535 00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:47,262 [chuckling] 536 00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:50,526 Join the parade, huh? You want me to join you? 537 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:52,876 [Rachel] You want to do some day drinking? 538 00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:59,361 See? You're always trying to get me into trouble. 539 00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:02,016 Trouble is my middle name. 540 00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:10,546 [tense piano notes] 541 00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:36,703 [Calvin] What should we toast to? To MSE for providing us 542 00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:39,662 a completely unremarkable undergraduate education? 543 00:22:39,836 --> 00:22:43,100 I know. Let's drink to our youth. 544 00:22:43,274 --> 00:22:45,929 [Rachel] Mm. To the one that got away. 545 00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:47,888 [Calvin] Hey [groaning]. 546 00:22:48,062 --> 00:22:49,455 - [Calvin] I fucked it up. - [Rachel] Yeah. 547 00:22:49,629 --> 00:22:52,675 You're right. I was... too needy. 548 00:22:52,849 --> 00:22:54,329 Girls don't like needy guys. 549 00:22:54,503 --> 00:22:55,896 You can't just drop the "I love you" bomb 550 00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:57,811 on somebody six months into dating. 551 00:22:57,985 --> 00:23:00,857 We dated for, like, one semester, and I'm, like, 552 00:23:01,728 --> 00:23:02,990 professing my whatever, 553 00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:05,079 and expecting you to reciprocate when you-- 554 00:23:05,253 --> 00:23:08,038 I mean, you were clearly expecting this to be 555 00:23:08,212 --> 00:23:12,391 a more casual, uh, less serious, 556 00:23:12,565 --> 00:23:15,002 less exclusive relationship. 557 00:23:15,176 --> 00:23:18,092 I mean, you saw other people before me, 558 00:23:18,266 --> 00:23:19,833 like, a lot of other people. 559 00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:21,400 [Rachel] Like, I was fucking the whole lacrosse team? 560 00:23:21,574 --> 00:23:23,184 A person in your position-- Let's admit it, 561 00:23:23,358 --> 00:23:24,707 a girl like you could've done way better than 562 00:23:24,881 --> 00:23:27,884 a guy like me. Like, so much better. 563 00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:33,847 Talk about a snooze fest. Not exactly the, uh, life of the-- 564 00:23:34,935 --> 00:23:36,806 I'm like Captain Boring. 565 00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:38,678 My wife will be the first person to tell you that. 566 00:23:38,852 --> 00:23:39,853 Did you tell your wife about me? 567 00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:41,420 Did I tell my wife 568 00:23:41,594 --> 00:23:43,683 about my only serious college girlfriend? 569 00:23:43,857 --> 00:23:47,600 The girl who broke my heart? Uh... no. 570 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,689 Didn't exactly come up in casual conversation 571 00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:50,907 - around the, uh-- - You should tell her. 572 00:23:51,081 --> 00:23:52,692 Tell her what? 573 00:23:52,866 --> 00:23:56,391 That you're not just some old flame? That maybe, secretly, 574 00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:59,960 deep down, if I'm-- If I'm being honest with myself 575 00:24:00,134 --> 00:24:02,963 in all probability, I still haven't gotten over you? 576 00:24:03,964 --> 00:24:05,139 [chuckling nervously] 577 00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:06,880 You've gotten on with your life. 578 00:24:07,054 --> 00:24:09,709 Your life looks pretty sweet to me. 579 00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:11,972 You're a big, successful businessman, 580 00:24:12,146 --> 00:24:13,887 a partner at Scorch Capital. 581 00:24:14,061 --> 00:24:15,976 Beautiful wife, two little girls. 582 00:24:16,150 --> 00:24:19,109 Uh-- uh, did I tell you I have girls? 583 00:24:19,719 --> 00:24:20,807 - You did. - Huh. 584 00:24:22,199 --> 00:24:23,374 Um, at least I'm pretty sure you did. 585 00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:24,811 You said Sara's home with 586 00:24:24,985 --> 00:24:26,900 the girls to go to the soccer game. 587 00:24:27,074 --> 00:24:28,467 - Sara? - Mhm. 588 00:24:28,641 --> 00:24:30,164 See, the alcohol's going right to my head, 589 00:24:30,338 --> 00:24:31,948 because I don't remember telling you my wife's name, 590 00:24:32,122 --> 00:24:33,950 and I definitely don't remember telling you where I work. 591 00:24:34,124 --> 00:24:35,865 Uh, you told me you were in finance, 592 00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:37,824 you humblebragged about your IPOs, you... 593 00:24:37,998 --> 00:24:39,826 Did I mention Scorch Capital? That I work at Scorch Capital? 594 00:24:43,220 --> 00:24:46,180 [laughing pathetically] 595 00:24:46,354 --> 00:24:48,399 Woo! Uh, online. 596 00:24:48,574 --> 00:24:49,618 What? 597 00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:52,491 God, this is embarrassing. 598 00:24:53,274 --> 00:24:55,058 I'm totally embarrassed. 599 00:24:55,232 --> 00:24:57,931 This is totally going to sound like I'm some kind of stalker. 600 00:24:58,105 --> 00:24:59,846 I'm totally honored. 601 00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:01,848 I always thought I was way too lame to be stalked. 602 00:25:02,022 --> 00:25:03,893 Okay, maybe stalking isn't the right-- Let's just call it-- 603 00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:05,373 I was seeing what you were up to. 604 00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:06,896 [Calvin] You were seeing when I was up to. 605 00:25:07,070 --> 00:25:08,071 Not creepy in the least. 606 00:25:08,245 --> 00:25:09,203 Not a modicum of creepiness, 607 00:25:09,377 --> 00:25:10,900 and I happened to come across-- 608 00:25:11,074 --> 00:25:12,859 I happened to, incidentally, see some pictures-- 609 00:25:13,033 --> 00:25:14,556 [Calvin] Pictures. 610 00:25:14,730 --> 00:25:17,124 Pictures you posted on social media, your house 611 00:25:17,298 --> 00:25:20,040 or not so much of a house, more of a McMansion. 612 00:25:20,214 --> 00:25:21,955 - [Calvin] It's not a mansion. - Oh, it's so totally a mansion. 613 00:25:22,129 --> 00:25:24,218 [baby voice] Mr. Fancy Pants has a mansion. 614 00:25:24,392 --> 00:25:26,002 [Calvin] I have other redeeming qualities. 615 00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:27,613 You post a lot of pictures of cars, 616 00:25:27,787 --> 00:25:29,353 all these fancy pants sports cars. 617 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,268 [Calvin] I have one kind of rare sports car, 618 00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:32,618 the rest are just to fool around in. 619 00:25:32,792 --> 00:25:34,141 Your kids are just-- 620 00:25:34,315 --> 00:25:36,622 Look at these kids. Talk about adorable. 621 00:25:36,796 --> 00:25:37,971 [softly] Thanks. 622 00:25:38,145 --> 00:25:39,973 You post the most adorable pictures. 623 00:25:40,147 --> 00:25:42,105 I like the ones where their faces are like cat faces. 624 00:25:42,279 --> 00:25:44,673 Oh, yeah, it's like this... filter thingy. 625 00:25:44,847 --> 00:25:46,545 How old are they? Brianna and Kaleigh? 626 00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:48,372 Six and three. 627 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:49,852 [Rachel] Six and three, you must have your hands full. 628 00:25:49,896 --> 00:25:51,114 We hired this au pair, 629 00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:53,334 this 19-year-old au pair from Belarus, 630 00:25:53,508 --> 00:25:56,380 and you should see the clothes she tries to buy my girls. 631 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:59,558 I'm like, "I don't know how they do things in Belarus, 632 00:25:59,732 --> 00:26:01,516 "but my six-year-old does not need booty shorts. 633 00:26:01,690 --> 00:26:02,691 Thank you very much." 634 00:26:02,865 --> 00:26:03,866 What does your wife have to say 635 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,215 about your modesty dress code? 636 00:26:05,389 --> 00:26:06,477 You make-- You make it sound like 637 00:26:06,652 --> 00:26:07,957 I'm Amish, or Quaker, or some shit. 638 00:26:08,131 --> 00:26:09,393 [Rachel] Your wife doesn't dress, hmm-- 639 00:26:10,133 --> 00:26:12,396 Her outfits aren't exactly conservative on-- 640 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:13,963 in her selfies. 641 00:26:14,137 --> 00:26:15,748 You've been checking out my wife's selfies? 642 00:26:15,922 --> 00:26:17,358 - [Rachel] Uh, are they real? - What? 643 00:26:17,532 --> 00:26:19,012 Her boobs. 644 00:26:19,186 --> 00:26:21,362 They're real expensive. 645 00:26:21,536 --> 00:26:24,757 [laughing] The au pair from Belarus handles the child care. 646 00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:27,847 So does Sara, like, have a job? 647 00:26:28,021 --> 00:26:29,762 She has interests. Yes. 648 00:26:29,936 --> 00:26:31,328 Crossfit? 649 00:26:31,502 --> 00:26:33,374 She volunteers with a lot of non for profits. 650 00:26:33,548 --> 00:26:34,897 Save the whales! 651 00:26:35,071 --> 00:26:37,073 Charities, charity work, poverty initiatives, 652 00:26:37,247 --> 00:26:39,641 climate initiatives. She does these petitions, 653 00:26:39,815 --> 00:26:43,253 she petitions people to retrofit inner city parks into 654 00:26:43,427 --> 00:26:46,213 green spaces. She counsels women at the women's shelter. 655 00:26:46,387 --> 00:26:47,649 Like, abused women? 656 00:26:47,823 --> 00:26:49,303 Victimized women. Women who've been abused. 657 00:26:49,477 --> 00:26:51,392 Wow. What an amazing woman, your wife. 658 00:26:51,566 --> 00:26:53,873 Fighting the good fight, speaking truth to power. 659 00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:55,222 Why does it sound like you... 660 00:26:55,396 --> 00:26:57,659 sound kind of sarcastic about it? 661 00:26:57,833 --> 00:26:59,574 'Cause, you know, Sara's actually I mean, 662 00:26:59,748 --> 00:27:01,228 she's uh, quite the-- 663 00:27:01,402 --> 00:27:03,273 She's an amazing role model for the girls. 664 00:27:03,447 --> 00:27:05,754 I mean, talk about strong will, 665 00:27:05,928 --> 00:27:07,451 - talk about independent. - [Rachel] Mm-hm. 666 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,366 Sarah is the head of that household, 667 00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:12,631 I'll tell you what, she does not put up with any of my shit. 668 00:27:12,805 --> 00:27:14,415 [Calvin] Ooh, what shit? 669 00:27:14,589 --> 00:27:17,113 Ah, well, you know, just the typical male bullshit, 670 00:27:17,940 --> 00:27:19,550 typical gender roles. 671 00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:22,945 I mean, yeah, I work crazy hours, like insane hours, 672 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,295 but I don't come home like, "Honey, where's dinner?" 673 00:27:25,469 --> 00:27:26,427 Doesn't the au pair make dinner? 674 00:27:26,601 --> 00:27:27,689 I make dinner. 675 00:27:29,082 --> 00:27:30,823 - When I can. - [Rachel scoffing] 676 00:27:30,997 --> 00:27:35,436 I fold the laundry, I make the snacks for, uh, soccer practice. 677 00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:36,655 Progressive. 678 00:27:36,829 --> 00:27:39,005 My point is-- my point is 679 00:27:39,179 --> 00:27:41,355 I'm the first guy my little girls get to know, right? 680 00:27:41,529 --> 00:27:43,270 So, if I set the right example, 681 00:27:43,444 --> 00:27:45,098 hopefully I'll set them on a course that steers clear of... 682 00:27:45,272 --> 00:27:46,621 - scumbags. - Don't forget about douchebags. 683 00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:48,710 Scumbags and douchebags abound in finance. 684 00:27:48,884 --> 00:27:50,669 Half the hedge fund guys are having affairs with women 685 00:27:50,843 --> 00:27:52,758 half their age. In my office, you would not believe 686 00:27:52,932 --> 00:27:54,585 the way some of these men talk about women. 687 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,719 It's actually unconscionable. 688 00:27:57,893 --> 00:27:59,808 I've caught guys looking at porn at their terminals, like-- 689 00:27:59,982 --> 00:28:01,462 Like, full screen porn. 690 00:28:01,636 --> 00:28:03,377 They don't even minimize the screens. 691 00:28:03,551 --> 00:28:04,726 [Rachel] You don't watch porn? 692 00:28:05,422 --> 00:28:07,381 Not at work. I'm not a porn guy in general. 693 00:28:07,555 --> 00:28:08,904 [Rachel] Oh, come on, every guy's a porn guy. 694 00:28:09,078 --> 00:28:10,950 It just never did it for me. 695 00:28:11,124 --> 00:28:14,257 It was just-- You know, never... my thing. 696 00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:15,824 [Rachel laughing] 697 00:28:17,870 --> 00:28:19,393 - Call me crazy. - [Rachel] You're a liar. 698 00:28:19,567 --> 00:28:20,524 I call you a liar. 699 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:21,787 Ah, check this out. 700 00:28:21,961 --> 00:28:23,179 - My assistant. - [Rachel] Uh-huh. 701 00:28:23,353 --> 00:28:24,703 - 22. Right? - [Rachel] Uh-huh. 702 00:28:24,877 --> 00:28:26,617 Happened to attend the Ivy League, 703 00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:28,532 - happens to be attractive. - [Rachel] Of course. 704 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:31,622 My-- Well, our Christmas party-- 705 00:28:31,797 --> 00:28:32,711 - The office Christmas party, - [Rachel] Mm-hm. 706 00:28:32,885 --> 00:28:33,929 she's wearing this, uh, 707 00:28:34,843 --> 00:28:36,018 I guess what you would call 708 00:28:36,192 --> 00:28:37,890 - a shortish skirt, - [Rachel] Ah. 709 00:28:38,064 --> 00:28:41,632 and this guy, this analyst, he takes out his cell phone, 710 00:28:41,807 --> 00:28:43,504 he takes a super zoomed in, 711 00:28:43,678 --> 00:28:45,941 close up picture of my assistant's rear end, 712 00:28:46,550 --> 00:28:47,813 and it was, like, this big joke. 713 00:28:47,987 --> 00:28:49,684 It was no big deal to totally degrade, 714 00:28:49,858 --> 00:28:51,425 totally objectify this woman, 715 00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:53,601 to reduce her Ivy League intellect 716 00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:55,559 to a Snapchat of her visible thong. 717 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,170 - They pass the picture to you? - Pass the picture to everybody. 718 00:28:57,213 --> 00:28:58,737 - Did you jerk off? - I got the guy fired. 719 00:29:00,216 --> 00:29:02,305 Look at you, chivalry is not dead. 720 00:29:02,479 --> 00:29:04,003 I'm the father of two girls, okay? 721 00:29:04,177 --> 00:29:06,440 That kind of shit makes me-- 722 00:29:06,614 --> 00:29:09,965 Ugh. I got the office to institute this code of conduct. 723 00:29:10,139 --> 00:29:14,578 Zero tolerance policy, no discrimination, no harassment, 724 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:17,277 no excuses. So, basically at Scorch Capital, 725 00:29:17,451 --> 00:29:19,801 we hear you talking locker room talk, 726 00:29:19,975 --> 00:29:22,586 we-- we hear you ask a coworker out on a date. 727 00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:24,980 [clicking tongue] That's it, man. You're gone. 728 00:29:25,154 --> 00:29:26,852 Considering the birthrate is in decline, 729 00:29:27,026 --> 00:29:28,679 is it really the best idea to prevent people from asking 730 00:29:28,854 --> 00:29:30,725 other people out on dates at work? 731 00:29:30,899 --> 00:29:33,206 It's better than the alternative, right? 732 00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:35,948 Where working women have to put up with sexual innuendos 733 00:29:36,122 --> 00:29:38,515 and micro-aggressions from their male colleagues all day. 734 00:29:38,689 --> 00:29:40,648 The-- the workplace needs to be a safe space. 735 00:29:40,822 --> 00:29:42,476 [Rachel] Okay, but safe from what? 736 00:29:42,650 --> 00:29:44,783 What is this, you know, attack of the killer cubicles? 737 00:29:44,957 --> 00:29:48,830 Safe from prejudice. Okay? Safe from bias. 738 00:29:49,004 --> 00:29:50,919 I campaigned for gender neutral bathrooms, for instance. 739 00:29:51,093 --> 00:29:52,747 Men pee on the seat. 740 00:29:52,921 --> 00:29:55,271 I campaigned for-- We have a gender nonbinary employee, 741 00:29:55,445 --> 00:29:57,360 and I got the office to institute-- 742 00:29:57,534 --> 00:30:00,755 I got the office to initiate this whole training seminar 743 00:30:00,929 --> 00:30:03,062 on how to respect the person's preferred pronouns. 744 00:30:03,236 --> 00:30:05,281 There's a difference between respecting someone's pronouns 745 00:30:05,455 --> 00:30:07,109 and forcing me to use them. 746 00:30:07,283 --> 00:30:09,155 Is this you-- Are you just playing devil's advocate here, 747 00:30:09,329 --> 00:30:11,157 or do you really believe what you're saying? 748 00:30:11,331 --> 00:30:12,985 Do you? 749 00:30:13,159 --> 00:30:16,902 Yes, of course. I mean, I take this stuff seriously. 750 00:30:17,076 --> 00:30:18,686 Pluralism is a thing to me. 751 00:30:18,860 --> 00:30:21,254 Enfranchising people, making room at the table, 752 00:30:21,428 --> 00:30:23,473 realizing it's time for the tables to turn. 753 00:30:23,647 --> 00:30:25,867 [Rachel] Wow, you're so woke, Cal! 754 00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:28,217 Baby-- No. [mumbling] 755 00:30:29,001 --> 00:30:29,958 Baby steps in the right direction. 756 00:30:30,132 --> 00:30:31,177 [Rachel] Baby steps. 757 00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:33,614 Speaking of babies, 758 00:30:33,788 --> 00:30:36,573 you uh, you have any interest 759 00:30:36,747 --> 00:30:39,359 - in the baby having? - [Rachel] Ugh, okay, whoa. 760 00:30:39,533 --> 00:30:40,969 Is that, like, your pick up line? 761 00:30:41,143 --> 00:30:43,754 It's how I met my wife. "Uh, hey, I'm Calvin. 762 00:30:43,929 --> 00:30:45,931 "Do you have any interest in the baby making?" 763 00:30:46,105 --> 00:30:47,497 [both laughing] 764 00:30:47,671 --> 00:30:49,499 [Rachel] I, uh, no. No. I'm done with men. 765 00:30:49,673 --> 00:30:51,284 - Men are just moot. - Women? 766 00:30:51,458 --> 00:30:53,112 Ooh, I have zero interest in dating in general. 767 00:30:53,286 --> 00:30:55,027 Have you tried online dating? 768 00:30:55,201 --> 00:30:56,811 Uh, online dating is how you end up in a storage facility, 769 00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:57,986 being skinned alive by a serial killer. 770 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,858 I read this book, right? 771 00:31:00,032 --> 00:31:01,990 This book by this sociologist, that's basically about how 772 00:31:02,164 --> 00:31:04,514 the per capita rate of psychopaths in our society is, 773 00:31:04,688 --> 00:31:06,865 like, wildly underestimated. 774 00:31:07,039 --> 00:31:09,780 And it's not overestimating to say upwards of, like, 775 00:31:09,955 --> 00:31:11,260 2% of Americans-- 776 00:31:11,434 --> 00:31:12,958 That's like six million people 777 00:31:13,132 --> 00:31:14,568 could be potential psychopaths. 778 00:31:14,742 --> 00:31:16,700 Now, the majority of psychopaths 779 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:18,746 aren't actually homicidal. 780 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,356 The majority are high functioning, 781 00:31:20,530 --> 00:31:22,837 high income earners, or titans of industry. 782 00:31:23,011 --> 00:31:25,753 They don't-- they don't break a sweat under pressure. 783 00:31:25,927 --> 00:31:29,713 Their blood runs cold. Doctors, lawyers, neurosurgeons. 784 00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,193 You know? 785 00:31:31,367 --> 00:31:33,108 My chiropractor could be a psychopath. 786 00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:34,718 [Rachel] Yeah. My point is, I'm not going out with someone 787 00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,330 I met online, without a stun gun in my purse. 788 00:31:37,504 --> 00:31:38,853 - You have a stun gun? - I'm fucking with you, 789 00:31:39,027 --> 00:31:40,594 but I could totally buy a stun gun 790 00:31:40,768 --> 00:31:42,857 if I wanted to. You know, you can buy anything online. 791 00:31:43,031 --> 00:31:45,729 Anybody can check out pictures of your McMansion. 792 00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:47,079 Case in point. 793 00:31:47,253 --> 00:31:49,168 I do not trust technology. 794 00:31:49,342 --> 00:31:52,736 Don't tell me you don't think our phones aren't recording 795 00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:55,391 us right now, selling our dirty little secrets 796 00:31:55,565 --> 00:31:59,265 to third party advertisers. Surveillance state, man. 797 00:31:59,439 --> 00:32:00,875 You can run, but you can't hide. 798 00:32:01,049 --> 00:32:02,703 I have nothing to hide. 799 00:32:02,877 --> 00:32:05,706 You have a family. What if some pervert jerks off to photos 800 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,403 you post of your daughters online? 801 00:32:07,577 --> 00:32:11,103 What if search engines list your-- your home address, 802 00:32:11,277 --> 00:32:12,756 your wife's phone and email? 803 00:32:13,322 --> 00:32:15,716 There are a lot of weirdos with Wi-Fi access. 804 00:32:15,890 --> 00:32:19,589 I'm deleting all my social media. Thank you very much. 805 00:32:19,763 --> 00:32:21,243 You know-- you can't be too careful. 806 00:32:21,417 --> 00:32:24,464 Yeah. I'm going to erase my entire digital footprint. 807 00:32:24,638 --> 00:32:25,900 Do it. 808 00:32:26,074 --> 00:32:28,250 - Maybe men are not moot. - [laughing] No. 809 00:32:28,424 --> 00:32:29,860 Maybe men are not moot. 810 00:32:30,035 --> 00:32:32,385 Maybe you just haven't met the right man. 811 00:32:32,559 --> 00:32:36,476 I mean, here you are-- No. Look, look. You're this-- 812 00:32:37,042 --> 00:32:38,304 You're this very-- 813 00:32:40,349 --> 00:32:43,700 beautiful, very intelligent woman without a wedding ring. 814 00:32:43,874 --> 00:32:45,354 You have to know guys are going to hit 815 00:32:45,528 --> 00:32:47,008 on you this weekend. 816 00:32:47,182 --> 00:32:49,315 - Oh, boy. Oh, my God. - Like... a ton of guys. 817 00:32:49,489 --> 00:32:51,447 99% of them might be total losers, 818 00:32:51,621 --> 00:32:53,362 but maybe, just maybe, 819 00:32:53,536 --> 00:32:57,149 one of these guys might turn out to be, you know, Mr. Right. 820 00:32:57,323 --> 00:32:59,412 I've already met. Mr. Right. Mr. Right... 821 00:33:02,632 --> 00:33:04,112 Mr. Right can do no wrong. 822 00:33:04,286 --> 00:33:06,723 Put that thing away! 823 00:33:06,897 --> 00:33:08,856 Jesus, you serious-- 824 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:11,598 You seriously travel with that thing? Do you, like, 825 00:33:12,164 --> 00:33:13,904 pack it every time you're hopping on a plane? 826 00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:17,082 Toothbrush, check. Deodorant, check. Oversized dildo, check. 827 00:33:17,256 --> 00:33:19,562 Mr. Right is my favorite traveling companion. 828 00:33:19,736 --> 00:33:21,216 I bet. 829 00:33:21,390 --> 00:33:23,088 - Mr. Right can do no wrong. - [Calvin groaning] 830 00:33:23,262 --> 00:33:24,611 He doesn't bitch and moan, 831 00:33:24,785 --> 00:33:26,308 he gives me what I want when I want it, 832 00:33:26,482 --> 00:33:28,702 I just have my way with him. What's he going to do? 833 00:33:28,876 --> 00:33:30,573 Say no? He's not in the mood? 834 00:33:31,618 --> 00:33:34,012 Uh, most men are in the mood most of the time. 835 00:33:34,186 --> 00:33:35,839 As hard as it may be for you to believe, 836 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:39,104 uh, I didn't fly all the way out here to meet a guy. 837 00:33:39,278 --> 00:33:40,975 That is not why I'm here. 838 00:33:41,149 --> 00:33:43,934 Let me guess, you're here for the two-for-one happy hour? 839 00:33:44,109 --> 00:33:47,025 To be honest, I wasn't planning 840 00:33:47,199 --> 00:33:48,417 on being here initially. 841 00:33:48,591 --> 00:33:50,376 Never in a million years did 842 00:33:50,550 --> 00:33:52,378 I think I'd go to my college reunion. 843 00:33:53,292 --> 00:33:55,033 Well, what changed your mind? 844 00:33:56,208 --> 00:33:58,645 You. [chuckling] 845 00:33:58,819 --> 00:34:00,647 I was looking at your post online, 846 00:34:00,821 --> 00:34:02,257 you know, you reposted to the invitation 847 00:34:02,431 --> 00:34:04,433 and you were telling other people to repost it, 848 00:34:04,607 --> 00:34:06,305 and you shared the link to RSVP, 849 00:34:06,479 --> 00:34:08,742 I mean, God, it was safe to assume that you were coming. 850 00:34:08,916 --> 00:34:10,570 It was safe to assume you'd be here. 851 00:34:10,744 --> 00:34:12,224 [Calvin] You came here because you knew I was coming? 852 00:34:12,398 --> 00:34:13,790 Because of me. 853 00:34:14,356 --> 00:34:16,445 Because of us. 854 00:34:16,619 --> 00:34:18,230 Us? 855 00:34:18,404 --> 00:34:19,883 - Us. - Us? 856 00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:21,407 - Us. - You, like-- 857 00:34:22,930 --> 00:34:24,584 [explosion noise] 858 00:34:24,758 --> 00:34:27,282 Are you, like, having second thoughts about breaking up 859 00:34:27,456 --> 00:34:28,675 with me? 860 00:34:29,154 --> 00:34:30,677 I have some, uh, 861 00:34:31,808 --> 00:34:34,333 regrets, I guess, about how I handled the situation. 862 00:34:34,507 --> 00:34:36,248 But, I don't hold it against you. 863 00:34:36,422 --> 00:34:38,685 You know, like, water under the bridge. 864 00:34:38,859 --> 00:34:40,078 [Rachel] Don't think I'm batshit crazy. [faux giggling] 865 00:34:40,252 --> 00:34:41,992 Crazy is one thing, batshit is-- 866 00:34:42,167 --> 00:34:43,559 [Rachel] Yeah, I still think about you, like, all the time. 867 00:34:44,952 --> 00:34:47,172 I mean, I haven't-- You're not even a part of my-- 868 00:34:47,694 --> 00:34:49,174 It's not like I've seen you since school. 869 00:34:49,348 --> 00:34:51,045 But there you are. You're, like, hovering-- 870 00:34:51,219 --> 00:34:53,961 you're like this big, black Calvin cloud 871 00:34:54,135 --> 00:34:55,745 - always hanging over me. - [Calvin] Ominous. 872 00:34:55,919 --> 00:34:57,225 Closure. 873 00:34:57,704 --> 00:34:59,184 I need to close that chapter of my life 874 00:34:59,358 --> 00:35:01,447 - so I can move on with my life. - Closure? Okay. 875 00:35:01,621 --> 00:35:04,014 After this, we both go our separate ways. 876 00:35:04,189 --> 00:35:06,278 After this, we probably won't see each other again. 877 00:35:06,452 --> 00:35:09,890 Maybe, like, ever. So, this is it. It's just tonight. 878 00:35:10,804 --> 00:35:13,589 One night. One last chance to say goodbye for good. 879 00:35:14,242 --> 00:35:16,462 [inhaling] I mean, goodbye is a foregone-- 880 00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:18,377 Goodbye is inevitable. 881 00:35:19,682 --> 00:35:21,989 We're all adults here. We're not animals. 882 00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:23,817 - Mm-hm. - Yeah, yeah, okay. 883 00:35:24,644 --> 00:35:27,908 We might still have feelings for each other. 884 00:35:29,736 --> 00:35:30,998 We might have a certain... 885 00:35:32,652 --> 00:35:34,349 - attraction. - [Rachel] Mm-hmm. 886 00:35:35,002 --> 00:35:39,659 All of this is fun, but none of this is... 887 00:35:40,355 --> 00:35:43,097 I mean, is it-- None of this is actionable. 888 00:35:44,098 --> 00:35:45,621 We're not, uh, 889 00:35:45,795 --> 00:35:47,232 we don't have any illusions, right? 890 00:35:47,406 --> 00:35:49,538 We're not sitting here misleading each other, 891 00:35:49,712 --> 00:35:53,368 or leading each other on. I'm married. Happily married. 892 00:35:53,542 --> 00:35:56,154 - Very happily. - [Rachel] So am I. Hm. 893 00:35:57,894 --> 00:35:59,853 - Wait. - I was fucking with you. 894 00:36:00,027 --> 00:36:02,029 Yeah, I married Mike seven years ago. 895 00:36:03,291 --> 00:36:04,814 He's a cardiac surgeon. 896 00:36:04,988 --> 00:36:07,774 Talk about hands. We have a kid, a little boy. 897 00:36:07,948 --> 00:36:10,342 - Light of my life. - Kid? Ah! 898 00:36:10,516 --> 00:36:12,431 That's-- How old? 899 00:36:12,605 --> 00:36:14,346 Two. Billy's two. 900 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,436 He just turned two, actually, and Mike is Irish Catholic. 901 00:36:17,610 --> 00:36:20,613 He has, like-- He wants to have, like, five kids, 902 00:36:20,787 --> 00:36:22,832 which is like-- I'm like, whoa, 903 00:36:23,006 --> 00:36:24,486 easier said than done, Mike. 904 00:36:24,660 --> 00:36:27,315 Easier said than done. My uterus is on hiatus. 905 00:36:27,489 --> 00:36:31,232 So, uh, are they, uh-- Is your husband coming here to the-- 906 00:36:31,406 --> 00:36:34,061 No, no, no. Yeah, they're back in Sarasota. 907 00:36:34,235 --> 00:36:36,672 We have a house on the water, on the ocean, actually, 908 00:36:36,846 --> 00:36:38,239 which is so nice. But... 909 00:36:38,413 --> 00:36:39,806 Earlier you said, well I-- 910 00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:41,286 I think you said you flew in from Phoenix. 911 00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:42,765 Correct me if I'm wrong. Earlier, I asked you 912 00:36:42,939 --> 00:36:44,724 where you were based and you said Phoenix. 913 00:36:44,898 --> 00:36:48,249 I said that, um, so I spend a lot of time in Phoenix 914 00:36:48,423 --> 00:36:49,816 because Phoenix is corporate headquarters. 915 00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:51,731 So that's probably what you heard. 916 00:36:51,905 --> 00:36:54,777 Oh, I think I thought I heard you say you were based there. 917 00:36:54,951 --> 00:36:56,692 He said she said, I guess. 918 00:36:56,866 --> 00:36:59,521 Do you-- I'm sure you travel a lot with your line of work. 919 00:36:59,695 --> 00:37:01,306 Totally, yeah. 920 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,046 Marketing is one of those things where, you know, 921 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:04,874 you have to go to the client, not the other way around. 922 00:37:04,918 --> 00:37:06,572 I thought you said pharmaceuticals. 923 00:37:07,268 --> 00:37:09,009 Marketing for pharmaceuticals. 924 00:37:09,183 --> 00:37:12,360 Oh, must be tough, airport to airport, 925 00:37:12,534 --> 00:37:16,016 especially with a family. Have you been Facetiming-- 926 00:37:16,190 --> 00:37:17,365 Sorry, what's his, uh? 927 00:37:17,539 --> 00:37:18,888 Will, my son's name's Will. Yeah. 928 00:37:19,062 --> 00:37:20,847 I was glued to my phone at the airport. 929 00:37:21,021 --> 00:37:22,892 I thought you said his name was Billy? [chuckling] 930 00:37:23,066 --> 00:37:26,113 Okay. Yes. So that's a nickname. 931 00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:28,028 So, do you guys not do nicknames over 932 00:37:28,202 --> 00:37:29,377 at the McMansion? 933 00:37:29,551 --> 00:37:31,336 Do you really have a kid? 934 00:37:31,510 --> 00:37:33,294 Do you really work in pharmaceuticals? 935 00:37:33,468 --> 00:37:37,298 I enjoy pharmaceuticals. I partake. 936 00:37:38,168 --> 00:37:39,866 Too much partaking, perhaps, in my past. 937 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,824 But, uh, let's just say that 938 00:37:41,998 --> 00:37:46,438 I am simpatico with controlled substances. 939 00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:49,571 I'm sorry, I'm confused. 940 00:37:49,745 --> 00:37:51,094 I'm a compulsive liar. 941 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:52,879 So, wait, you were lying about being single, 942 00:37:53,053 --> 00:37:54,402 or lying about being married? 943 00:37:54,576 --> 00:37:55,838 Are you lying about being happily married? 944 00:37:56,012 --> 00:37:57,231 Because of happily married man 945 00:37:57,405 --> 00:37:58,493 wouldn't have joined me for a drink. 946 00:37:58,667 --> 00:38:00,016 Hang on. 947 00:38:00,495 --> 00:38:02,192 Can you please tell me what you're trying to tell me? 948 00:38:02,367 --> 00:38:04,325 Where do you actually live? 949 00:38:05,457 --> 00:38:09,243 I've lived all over. Joliet, Sarasota, Des Moines. 950 00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:11,071 I've been, uh, bouncing around. 951 00:38:11,245 --> 00:38:12,899 I've been living out of motels that have mini fringes, 952 00:38:13,073 --> 00:38:14,596 I've been living off food stamps. 953 00:38:14,770 --> 00:38:16,946 Shit hole, to shit hole. I can't keep it all straight. 954 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,296 Are you being serious right now? 955 00:38:18,470 --> 00:38:20,776 Yeah, I have some pretty serious problems. 956 00:38:20,950 --> 00:38:22,256 I have, like, zero money. 957 00:38:22,430 --> 00:38:24,432 Yeah, yeah, yeah. College reunion. 958 00:38:24,606 --> 00:38:26,434 People are supposed to talk about how great they're doing. 959 00:38:26,608 --> 00:38:28,175 Everything's just hunky dory. 960 00:38:28,349 --> 00:38:31,221 But, let's uh-- let's cut the shit, right? 961 00:38:31,396 --> 00:38:32,701 Let's let shit get real. 962 00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:34,921 Let's be honest with each other, Cal. 963 00:38:35,095 --> 00:38:37,793 I'm at the bottom of the deepest, darkest pit 964 00:38:37,967 --> 00:38:39,926 and I'm not talking about Cleveland. 965 00:38:40,100 --> 00:38:42,320 Physically, emotionally, financially. 966 00:38:42,494 --> 00:38:44,060 Can't your husband-- 967 00:38:44,234 --> 00:38:47,716 What husband? He left me and took my kid or I left him. 968 00:38:47,890 --> 00:38:50,023 Either way, he's a nonentity, non-- non-existent. 969 00:38:50,197 --> 00:38:51,981 Or, check this out, maybe he never existed. 970 00:38:52,155 --> 00:38:54,114 Maybe Mike the cardiac surgeon is a figment of my imagination. 971 00:38:54,288 --> 00:38:55,507 Are your parents-- 972 00:38:55,681 --> 00:38:57,073 They're out of the picture. Yeah. 973 00:38:57,247 --> 00:38:58,640 They Photoshopped themselves out of my life, 974 00:38:58,814 --> 00:39:01,382 persona non grata once I dropped out of college. 975 00:39:01,556 --> 00:39:03,645 - Wait a minute. You-- - Yeah, I dropped out. 976 00:39:03,819 --> 00:39:07,127 That's why you couldn't register me before. 977 00:39:07,301 --> 00:39:08,998 You couldn't find my name on the list of alumni 978 00:39:09,172 --> 00:39:10,870 because I'm not technically an alumni, 979 00:39:11,044 --> 00:39:12,437 because I didn't technically graduate. 980 00:39:12,611 --> 00:39:14,134 Holy shit. I had no idea. 981 00:39:14,308 --> 00:39:15,962 [Rachel] Well, I mean, we had no contact, really 982 00:39:16,136 --> 00:39:19,226 after we broke up. We didn't exactly stay in touch. 983 00:39:19,748 --> 00:39:20,880 I wasn't, like, keeping you abreast 984 00:39:21,054 --> 00:39:22,708 of my academic travails. 985 00:39:22,882 --> 00:39:24,927 I thought I heard you'd transferred, or maybe I just-- 986 00:39:25,101 --> 00:39:26,929 [Rachel] No, I didn't transfer. I dropped out. 987 00:39:27,887 --> 00:39:29,105 - Yeah. - Why? 988 00:39:30,977 --> 00:39:34,110 I don't know. You don't need a degree to be an actor. 989 00:39:34,284 --> 00:39:36,504 You know, the whole idea of paying 990 00:39:36,678 --> 00:39:38,767 for a piece of paper that legitimizes your artistic 991 00:39:38,941 --> 00:39:41,640 prowess, I mean, it's a scam, right? It's a total shakedown. 992 00:39:41,814 --> 00:39:43,206 I was getting deeper and deeper in debt, 993 00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:44,773 and I just figured, fuck it. 994 00:39:44,947 --> 00:39:46,471 I'll just try my luck acting in the city. 995 00:39:46,645 --> 00:39:47,950 [Calvin] Good for you. 996 00:39:48,124 --> 00:39:50,170 It was not. It was not good for me. 997 00:39:50,649 --> 00:39:53,652 The waiting tables, the constant rejection, 998 00:39:53,826 --> 00:39:57,656 the regional theater. I shit you not, I played Lavinia 999 00:39:57,699 --> 00:40:00,615 in a Titus Andronicus that was set in outer space. 1000 00:40:00,789 --> 00:40:02,878 The director literally set the mise en scene on Mars. 1001 00:40:03,052 --> 00:40:04,314 I'd like to see that. 1002 00:40:05,620 --> 00:40:07,535 [Rachel] Ugh. My career has not been super awesome. 1003 00:40:08,057 --> 00:40:09,842 I started looking at it objectively, 1004 00:40:10,451 --> 00:40:11,974 I started getting super depressed 1005 00:40:12,148 --> 00:40:14,542 and I started doing drugs, like, a lot of drugs, 1006 00:40:14,716 --> 00:40:19,068 like, an astonishing amount of narcotics have entered my body. 1007 00:40:19,242 --> 00:40:20,853 But I am done with that shit now. 1008 00:40:21,027 --> 00:40:22,550 Uh... 1009 00:40:22,724 --> 00:40:26,598 I just got out of rehab, actually. Don't worry, um, 1010 00:40:26,772 --> 00:40:27,903 I'm actually just drinking orange juice. 1011 00:40:28,077 --> 00:40:29,557 Rehab? 1012 00:40:29,731 --> 00:40:31,341 Yeah. Literally came here straight from rehab. 1013 00:40:32,212 --> 00:40:33,735 I'm actually not even staying in this hotel. 1014 00:40:33,909 --> 00:40:35,563 I couldn't afford a room. 1015 00:40:35,737 --> 00:40:37,260 I'm thinking I might sleep in the fitness center. 1016 00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:38,827 I can get you-- 1017 00:40:39,001 --> 00:40:40,220 And lied about the airport. I took the bus. 1018 00:40:40,394 --> 00:40:42,091 Not the good bus, the bus that's, 1019 00:40:42,265 --> 00:40:44,485 like, $10 and there's dried throw up on the upholstery. 1020 00:40:44,659 --> 00:40:46,313 But I was at this place in Peoria. 1021 00:40:46,487 --> 00:40:48,837 I was like, um, like an inpatient, like, you know, 1022 00:40:49,011 --> 00:40:50,622 like, you live there-type place. 1023 00:40:50,796 --> 00:40:53,189 And I've spent a lot of time in a lot of facilities, 1024 00:40:53,363 --> 00:40:56,323 but this facility was, like, holistic. 1025 00:40:56,497 --> 00:41:00,066 This was like, you know, Bikram yoga? Guided meditation, 1026 00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:02,198 learning to start helping myself 1027 00:41:02,372 --> 00:41:05,332 instead of hurting myself. Well... 1028 00:41:07,334 --> 00:41:10,032 Burning myself, actually, I would, um, 1029 00:41:11,599 --> 00:41:17,387 I would light a lighter and I would take the little flame 1030 00:41:17,562 --> 00:41:20,086 and I would burn little bitty parts of my body, 1031 00:41:20,608 --> 00:41:23,481 the back of the knee, the pinky toe, the armpit. 1032 00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:26,614 It's a strange smell, 1033 00:41:26,788 --> 00:41:28,268 the smell of burning skin. It kind of smells like kielbasa. 1034 00:41:28,442 --> 00:41:30,400 - [Calvin] Rachel-- - But, I'm better now. 1035 00:41:30,575 --> 00:41:32,794 I-- uh, they helped me get better. 1036 00:41:32,968 --> 00:41:35,101 I had this counsellor, Mary Ellen, 1037 00:41:35,623 --> 00:41:38,278 and Mary Ellen was all about cutting shit out at the source. 1038 00:41:38,452 --> 00:41:39,714 If you don't find the source, 1039 00:41:39,888 --> 00:41:41,020 you'll never find a way to wellness. 1040 00:41:41,194 --> 00:41:42,500 The pathways don't matter. 1041 00:41:42,674 --> 00:41:44,937 Therapy, methadone, a macrobiotic diet. 1042 00:41:45,111 --> 00:41:48,636 And Mary Ellen had this mantra. You can't face yourself 1043 00:41:48,810 --> 00:41:51,509 in the mirror if you don't face down your demons first. 1044 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:54,076 Demons? 1045 00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:56,165 My-- my point is, what Mary Ellen helped me realize 1046 00:41:56,339 --> 00:41:58,951 is I can't get clean and sober until I get this shit, 1047 00:41:59,125 --> 00:42:01,431 all this shit off my chest and out of my system. 1048 00:42:01,606 --> 00:42:02,868 Get it all out. 1049 00:42:03,042 --> 00:42:04,609 It sounds extreme or something to say this, 1050 00:42:04,783 --> 00:42:06,611 but I think it needs to be said. 1051 00:42:06,785 --> 00:42:10,179 My life basically ended after our relationship ended. 1052 00:42:10,876 --> 00:42:13,748 [Calvin] Believe me, it wasn't easy on me either. 1053 00:42:13,922 --> 00:42:15,271 I went through a-- 1054 00:42:15,445 --> 00:42:18,884 I was in a pretty bad place for a long time. 1055 00:42:19,580 --> 00:42:21,887 I didn't just move on. You weren't just some girl. 1056 00:42:22,583 --> 00:42:25,020 You were literally the only person I was with in college. 1057 00:42:25,194 --> 00:42:28,981 You were like this superhuman entity that landed in my life 1058 00:42:29,155 --> 00:42:30,896 in some extraterrestrial spacecraft. 1059 00:42:31,070 --> 00:42:33,376 I didn't even recognize you as the same species. 1060 00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:38,686 It was just, like, "What is this? What is this? 1061 00:42:38,860 --> 00:42:41,515 What is this beautiful being all about? 1062 00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:43,822 Just the way your mind works, just the way-- 1063 00:42:45,258 --> 00:42:46,607 I would just stare at you 1064 00:42:46,781 --> 00:42:49,741 and picture the rest of my life with you, 1065 00:42:49,915 --> 00:42:52,657 and there is no way my life wouldn't be better 1066 00:42:52,831 --> 00:42:54,093 with you in it. 1067 00:42:56,574 --> 00:42:58,619 Sorry your life hasn't worked out better. 1068 00:42:58,793 --> 00:43:03,232 I'm sorry that you've taken some wrong turns, and-- 1069 00:43:04,233 --> 00:43:07,062 I'm sorry to say I still don't understand. 1070 00:43:07,628 --> 00:43:09,978 After all these years, if you loved me then 1071 00:43:10,152 --> 00:43:13,765 like I loved you, why did you break up with me? 1072 00:43:13,939 --> 00:43:15,201 [scoffing] 1073 00:43:17,986 --> 00:43:19,814 Because you raped me. 1074 00:43:27,779 --> 00:43:29,041 What? 1075 00:43:32,914 --> 00:43:34,394 Because you raped me. 1076 00:43:44,099 --> 00:43:46,362 Is this some kind of, uh... 1077 00:43:48,887 --> 00:43:54,109 What is this, Rachel? What's happening? 1078 00:43:54,283 --> 00:43:57,591 We both know what happened that night at that party. 1079 00:43:57,765 --> 00:43:59,637 I think you think you know what happened. 1080 00:43:59,811 --> 00:44:01,247 Oh, I know that I know. 1081 00:44:01,421 --> 00:44:05,468 You know that's not true. You can't just-- I-- 1082 00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:08,341 That's not a word you can just throw around. 1083 00:44:08,515 --> 00:44:12,084 What word? Rape? Rapey-rape? Rapey pants? 1084 00:44:12,258 --> 00:44:13,825 [Calvin] Rachel, stop. Please. 1085 00:44:13,999 --> 00:44:15,783 - You didn't stop, why should I? - No. 1086 00:44:15,957 --> 00:44:17,872 "No" means "yes." "No" means try harder. 1087 00:44:18,046 --> 00:44:19,787 - Rachel, I'm trying to-- - Cal. 1088 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,573 I-- I want to-- I want to be s-- 1089 00:44:23,748 --> 00:44:25,271 I want to be sensitive about this. I want to-- 1090 00:44:25,445 --> 00:44:27,534 I want to handle-- handle this sensitively, 1091 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,275 [Rachel] You're a sensitive guy. 1092 00:44:29,449 --> 00:44:32,191 Because I know you're going through a rough patch. 1093 00:44:32,365 --> 00:44:34,280 I know you're in a fragile place emotionally. 1094 00:44:34,454 --> 00:44:35,673 I know you're in a vulnerable position. 1095 00:44:35,847 --> 00:44:37,587 You put me in a vulnerable position. 1096 00:44:37,762 --> 00:44:39,633 Well, let's just de-escalate for one second. 1097 00:44:39,807 --> 00:44:41,940 Let's just take a moment to collect ourselves 1098 00:44:42,114 --> 00:44:43,463 and talk about this in a reasonable-- 1099 00:44:43,637 --> 00:44:45,465 To have a rational conversation. 1100 00:44:45,639 --> 00:44:47,206 Am I acting irrationally? 1101 00:44:48,468 --> 00:44:49,730 Am I crying? 1102 00:44:50,731 --> 00:44:52,037 Am I hysterical? 1103 00:44:52,820 --> 00:44:54,343 Am I walking around blowing a rape whistle? 1104 00:44:54,517 --> 00:44:55,693 [Calvin] Let's talk about this. 1105 00:44:55,867 --> 00:44:57,085 So, you can talk yourself out of this? 1106 00:44:57,259 --> 00:44:58,521 - [Calvin] Out of what? - Out of trouble? 1107 00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,306 - [Calvin] I'm not in trouble. - Not yet. 1108 00:45:01,089 --> 00:45:03,004 Rachel, I'm willing to hear you out. 1109 00:45:03,178 --> 00:45:04,353 [Rachel] Magnanimous. 1110 00:45:04,527 --> 00:45:06,138 I want to hear what you have to say. 1111 00:45:06,312 --> 00:45:07,835 - I'm not trying to dismiss you. - I will not be dismissed. 1112 00:45:07,879 --> 00:45:09,881 Exactly. Totally. I'm not-- 1113 00:45:12,144 --> 00:45:13,449 I'm not-- 1114 00:45:15,582 --> 00:45:18,193 I'm just a little bit shocked. [exhaling] 1115 00:45:18,367 --> 00:45:20,718 Don't mistake my being taken aback for being incredulous. 1116 00:45:20,892 --> 00:45:22,807 I believe in believing the victim. 1117 00:45:22,981 --> 00:45:25,113 I believe in giving the victim the benefit of the-- 1118 00:45:26,593 --> 00:45:28,116 These are things I believe in. 1119 00:45:28,290 --> 00:45:30,815 These are positions I take. I take the woman's side. 1120 00:45:30,989 --> 00:45:32,251 I'm not some-- 1121 00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,558 I'm a strong supporter of women having a voice, 1122 00:45:35,733 --> 00:45:37,125 women having every right to-- 1123 00:45:37,299 --> 00:45:39,127 I mean, if you were sitting here 1124 00:45:39,301 --> 00:45:44,742 and telling me some-- some man had done something to you, 100% 1125 00:45:44,916 --> 00:45:47,048 I would believe you, without a doubt. Without-- 1126 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:52,662 Without hesitation. It just so happens the man is me 1127 00:45:52,837 --> 00:45:54,447 and I happen to know what really happened, 1128 00:45:54,621 --> 00:45:56,014 and what didn't happen. 1129 00:45:57,885 --> 00:45:59,539 I didn't expect you to come right out and confess. 1130 00:45:59,713 --> 00:46:01,193 [Calvin] Confess? 1131 00:46:01,367 --> 00:46:02,585 Confess what? 1132 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,979 You have every reason to deny it. 1133 00:46:05,153 --> 00:46:09,331 But denial is not sustainable. Trust me, it just festers. 1134 00:46:09,505 --> 00:46:11,594 It's just, God-- Just like this malignant growth. 1135 00:46:12,291 --> 00:46:13,814 Look, it took me a long time to be able 1136 00:46:13,988 --> 00:46:15,685 to come out and say it, too. 1137 00:46:15,860 --> 00:46:18,819 It took me a long time to be able to admit it to myself, 1138 00:46:18,993 --> 00:46:21,039 not to mention anybody else. 1139 00:46:21,213 --> 00:46:23,258 But once I did, once I could tell myself the truth, 1140 00:46:23,432 --> 00:46:25,652 I could tell other people the truth 1141 00:46:26,261 --> 00:46:28,263 and it was like this weight had been lifted. 1142 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,570 I imagine it might be the same for you, too. 1143 00:46:30,744 --> 00:46:33,486 I mean, it must be hard keeping it to yourself, 1144 00:46:34,182 --> 00:46:36,315 keeping it from your wife, your kids, your-- 1145 00:46:36,881 --> 00:46:38,491 your boss. 1146 00:46:38,665 --> 00:46:40,188 Everybody knows you as one kind of person, 1147 00:46:40,362 --> 00:46:42,277 but nobody knows the kind of person you really are. 1148 00:46:42,451 --> 00:46:44,410 How many people have you told? 1149 00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:47,021 Just a few people. 1150 00:46:47,892 --> 00:46:49,545 The people at the place in Peoria, 1151 00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:50,895 Mary Ellen-- 1152 00:46:51,069 --> 00:46:52,548 You told your therapist my name? 1153 00:46:53,636 --> 00:46:55,987 Maybe just your first name. I don't really remember. 1154 00:46:56,161 --> 00:46:57,858 Help me remember. Okay? 1155 00:46:58,424 --> 00:46:59,991 Tell me what you think I did. 1156 00:47:00,165 --> 00:47:03,037 Walk me through it, step by step so I can comprehend-- 1157 00:47:03,211 --> 00:47:05,213 so I can wrap my head around your accusation, 1158 00:47:05,387 --> 00:47:06,824 and clarify any misunderstandings. 1159 00:47:06,998 --> 00:47:08,738 - Misunderstandings? - [Calvin] Yes, 1160 00:47:08,913 --> 00:47:11,176 because that's what I think this is. One big-- 1161 00:47:11,350 --> 00:47:13,221 And maybe we can come 1162 00:47:13,395 --> 00:47:15,615 to a better understanding of that night, together. 1163 00:47:15,789 --> 00:47:17,399 Together. 1164 00:47:17,573 --> 00:47:18,836 [Calvin] I really don't want this to be adversarial. 1165 00:47:18,879 --> 00:47:20,054 I'm not trying to be confrontational, 1166 00:47:20,228 --> 00:47:21,795 or defensive about this. 1167 00:47:21,969 --> 00:47:24,406 Relax. You're not a defendant. You're not on the stand. 1168 00:47:24,580 --> 00:47:26,669 And I'm not trying to cross-examine you. 1169 00:47:27,192 --> 00:47:28,802 I'm not trying to poke holes in your-- 1170 00:47:28,976 --> 00:47:30,195 Well, poking is the topic at hand. 1171 00:47:30,369 --> 00:47:31,631 [Calvin] I'm just trying to-- 1172 00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:34,068 I think it would be useful 1173 00:47:34,242 --> 00:47:35,853 for us to reach some kind of consensus, 1174 00:47:36,027 --> 00:47:38,681 at least a framework of, um-- 1175 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:42,207 To reconstruct the events of that night and say, 1176 00:47:42,381 --> 00:47:43,643 "Hey what do we remember here? 1177 00:47:43,817 --> 00:47:45,950 What-- what might we be misremembering?" 1178 00:47:46,124 --> 00:47:47,429 I remember the party. 1179 00:47:48,256 --> 00:47:50,432 The party-- The house party my roommates decided to throw 1180 00:47:50,606 --> 00:47:53,000 behind my back. Uh, I had midterms the next day 1181 00:47:53,174 --> 00:47:55,220 and I was studying in the corner until you showed up. 1182 00:47:55,394 --> 00:47:56,656 Showed up, kind of, uh, 1183 00:47:56,830 --> 00:47:58,614 remember I came late after my play? 1184 00:47:58,788 --> 00:48:01,356 I was doing the Euripides play, uh, and the party was packed. 1185 00:48:01,530 --> 00:48:05,099 The music was super loud, we couldn't even hear each other. 1186 00:48:05,273 --> 00:48:07,754 But you said you had something you needed to tell me, 1187 00:48:07,928 --> 00:48:10,235 something important and you took me upstairs. 1188 00:48:10,409 --> 00:48:14,500 You-- No, I asked you if you wanted to go upstairs 1189 00:48:14,674 --> 00:48:16,589 so we could talk, so we could hear ourselves think. 1190 00:48:16,763 --> 00:48:18,591 - You took me upstairs. - You followed me. 1191 00:48:18,765 --> 00:48:21,028 You took me into your bedroom, you closed the door. 1192 00:48:21,202 --> 00:48:23,248 - I didn't lock it. - We-- we were in your bedroom 1193 00:48:23,422 --> 00:48:25,946 and you asked me to sit down and I asked you, 1194 00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:27,730 "What did you want to tell me?" 1195 00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:29,602 - I told you how I felt. - You told me the last six months 1196 00:48:29,776 --> 00:48:31,082 were the best months of your life. 1197 00:48:31,256 --> 00:48:32,518 - They were. - I couldn't really hear you 1198 00:48:32,692 --> 00:48:34,346 because of the music, but 1199 00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,261 I think you were trying to tell me that you loved me. 1200 00:48:36,435 --> 00:48:38,437 I did. But you didn't tell me you loved me back. 1201 00:48:38,611 --> 00:48:39,960 You didn't respond. 1202 00:48:40,134 --> 00:48:41,831 I was, like waiting on pins and needles. 1203 00:48:42,006 --> 00:48:43,181 I was processing. 1204 00:48:43,355 --> 00:48:44,573 There was, like, this long pause, 1205 00:48:44,747 --> 00:48:46,271 the longest pause of my life. 1206 00:48:46,445 --> 00:48:48,273 You didn't tell me what you were thinking, you just-- 1207 00:48:48,838 --> 00:48:51,015 - You told me to-- - I told you I needed a drink. 1208 00:48:51,189 --> 00:48:52,842 I left the room to get you a drink. 1209 00:48:53,017 --> 00:48:54,975 You stayed in the room. You decided to stay. 1210 00:48:55,149 --> 00:48:56,455 I stayed. 1211 00:48:57,064 --> 00:48:59,197 You brought me back a drink, a very strong drink. 1212 00:48:59,371 --> 00:49:01,503 A solo cup full of whiskey, which you chugged. 1213 00:49:01,982 --> 00:49:03,375 I chugged it? 1214 00:49:03,549 --> 00:49:04,767 I chugged one, too. It was not one sided. 1215 00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:06,117 - You kissed me. - You kissed me back. 1216 00:49:06,291 --> 00:49:07,640 We were-- we were kissing. 1217 00:49:07,814 --> 00:49:09,250 You started to take my clothes off. 1218 00:49:09,424 --> 00:49:11,252 - You took off my clothes, too. - You took out-- 1219 00:49:11,426 --> 00:49:12,950 Remember, you took that mask out of my backpack? 1220 00:49:13,124 --> 00:49:14,952 This satyr mask from the play, yes. 1221 00:49:15,126 --> 00:49:17,824 You ran around the room buck naked, 1222 00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:19,565 pretending to be a mythical goat. 1223 00:49:19,739 --> 00:49:21,306 Like I said, I was a lightweight. 1224 00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:23,482 Get some whiskey in me and I'm playing farm animals. 1225 00:49:23,656 --> 00:49:25,484 We started making out. We started doing other stuff. 1226 00:49:25,658 --> 00:49:28,966 We only did other stuff up to that point in our relationship, 1227 00:49:29,140 --> 00:49:31,446 six months of doing other stuff. 1228 00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:33,144 - But we never actually-- - Did the deed. 1229 00:49:33,318 --> 00:49:34,884 We never-- we never made love. 1230 00:49:35,059 --> 00:49:40,107 We talked about-- In the past, we had had conversations 1231 00:49:40,281 --> 00:49:41,717 about maybe taking things to the next level-- 1232 00:49:41,891 --> 00:49:43,632 We'd talked about it, but we hadn't decided. 1233 00:49:43,806 --> 00:49:45,504 Taking it, right. We were taking it one step at a-- There were-- 1234 00:49:45,678 --> 00:49:48,420 there were steps along the way, steps we both took-- 1235 00:49:48,594 --> 00:49:50,900 We took our time with the foreplay aspect. 1236 00:49:51,075 --> 00:49:52,337 The foreplay aspect? 1237 00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:59,561 The aspect of-- You liked it when I did certain-- 1238 00:50:02,608 --> 00:50:05,002 Certain things to you. 1239 00:50:05,176 --> 00:50:06,351 Oral sex? 1240 00:50:06,525 --> 00:50:09,397 Jesus. Oral sex. Yes, I was-- 1241 00:50:09,571 --> 00:50:10,877 Going down on me? 1242 00:50:11,051 --> 00:50:12,531 Going down on you. Yes. Yes, that night. 1243 00:50:12,705 --> 00:50:14,359 The night in question. 1244 00:50:14,533 --> 00:50:16,796 The night of, uh, you asked me to-- I was performing-- 1245 00:50:16,970 --> 00:50:18,841 - I asked you? - I mean, you indicated-- 1246 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:20,756 - Indicated? - You seemed to imply-- 1247 00:50:20,930 --> 00:50:22,932 - You seemed to be requesting-- - Requesting? 1248 00:50:23,107 --> 00:50:24,369 You grabbed my goddamn hair 1249 00:50:24,543 --> 00:50:26,501 and pushed my face between your legs. 1250 00:50:27,763 --> 00:50:28,982 [quietly] I was performing-- 1251 00:50:29,156 --> 00:50:30,723 You wanted me to perform-- 1252 00:50:30,897 --> 00:50:33,160 - Cunnilingus. - Can we agree? 1253 00:50:33,334 --> 00:50:34,727 I agree. 1254 00:50:34,901 --> 00:50:35,945 You're an expert in the cunnilingus department. 1255 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,557 Jesus [exhaling] So. 1256 00:50:40,950 --> 00:50:42,343 - There I was-- - Eating me out. 1257 00:50:42,517 --> 00:50:43,997 - Can we not? - You flipped me over. 1258 00:50:44,171 --> 00:50:45,955 No, no, no, no. You turned over, I didn't flip you. 1259 00:50:46,130 --> 00:50:47,914 You flipped yourself over onto your, um-- 1260 00:50:48,088 --> 00:50:49,742 I was face down on the bed. 1261 00:50:49,916 --> 00:50:51,787 Yes. Because I was-- In the past-- In past encounters, 1262 00:50:51,961 --> 00:50:55,226 you asked me to do it like that, you taught me how to-- 1263 00:50:57,793 --> 00:51:00,187 You said you liked it like that, when I used my fingers. 1264 00:51:00,361 --> 00:51:02,276 From behind. Uh... 1265 00:51:02,885 --> 00:51:05,279 That was an established thing, right? 1266 00:51:05,453 --> 00:51:08,587 You liked it when I fingered you from behind. 1267 00:51:08,761 --> 00:51:11,024 You had said on previous conversations, 1268 00:51:11,198 --> 00:51:13,722 you said that the angle felt better. 1269 00:51:13,896 --> 00:51:15,637 I felt like I was going to die. 1270 00:51:15,811 --> 00:51:17,857 All of a sudden, I felt really weird. 1271 00:51:18,031 --> 00:51:19,511 I started seeing weird stuff. 1272 00:51:20,425 --> 00:51:22,383 You know, I could see you out of the corner of my eye, 1273 00:51:22,557 --> 00:51:24,516 you were behind me. You were wearing that goat mask. 1274 00:51:24,690 --> 00:51:28,433 Except now, I shit you not, you looked like an actual goat. 1275 00:51:28,607 --> 00:51:32,698 Like, your body. It was like an actual goat body. 1276 00:51:32,872 --> 00:51:35,527 You had, like, hooves, and this massive erection, 1277 00:51:35,701 --> 00:51:38,138 and you made this loud noise, this, like... 1278 00:51:39,052 --> 00:51:40,314 Like a bleating noise. 1279 00:51:40,923 --> 00:51:43,926 Then my eyes just [snapping] went black. 1280 00:51:44,492 --> 00:51:45,711 Like someone just took 1281 00:51:45,885 --> 00:51:47,016 a sharp being blacked out my eyeballs. 1282 00:51:47,191 --> 00:51:48,453 That's the last thing I remember. 1283 00:51:48,627 --> 00:51:49,845 Don't remember the actual-- 1284 00:51:50,019 --> 00:51:51,543 Two drinks don't make you black out. 1285 00:51:52,935 --> 00:51:54,328 Two drinks don't make you hallucinate 1286 00:51:54,502 --> 00:51:56,374 and think your boyfriend has turned into a goat. 1287 00:51:57,549 --> 00:51:59,464 It wasn't that I had too much to drink, 1288 00:51:59,638 --> 00:52:01,814 there was something in my drink. 1289 00:52:01,988 --> 00:52:04,033 Rachel, I swear to God, okay? 1290 00:52:04,208 --> 00:52:06,210 The only thing I put in your drink was 1291 00:52:06,384 --> 00:52:08,125 a very generous pour of whiskey. 1292 00:52:08,299 --> 00:52:10,910 An entire solo cup full of whiskey. That's what you drank. 1293 00:52:11,084 --> 00:52:12,694 Drinking the equivalent of six 1294 00:52:12,868 --> 00:52:14,435 or seven shots is going to make you a little sleepy-- 1295 00:52:14,609 --> 00:52:16,437 [Rachel] I didn't just fall asleep. No, no, no. 1296 00:52:16,611 --> 00:52:19,353 I, uh, passed the fuck out and woke up the next morning. 1297 00:52:19,527 --> 00:52:20,876 I woke up with you, remember? 1298 00:52:21,050 --> 00:52:22,356 I got you that bacon, egg and cheese? 1299 00:52:22,530 --> 00:52:23,749 Do you always bring breakfast in bed 1300 00:52:23,923 --> 00:52:25,054 to the girls you give roofies to? 1301 00:52:25,229 --> 00:52:26,621 Rachel. 1302 00:52:26,795 --> 00:52:28,406 I woke up, I got dressed without saying a word, 1303 00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:30,712 and I walked all the way across campus. 1304 00:52:30,886 --> 00:52:32,975 It's a long walk, the longest walk of my life. 1305 00:52:33,498 --> 00:52:36,022 Got home, took a shower. I took it sitting down 1306 00:52:36,196 --> 00:52:38,633 and I didn't take off my underwear. 1307 00:52:39,373 --> 00:52:40,679 My underwear had blood on it. 1308 00:52:40,853 --> 00:52:42,811 [Calvin] Blood? Why would there be blood? 1309 00:52:43,334 --> 00:52:45,466 I made up that stuff about sleeping around. 1310 00:52:46,119 --> 00:52:47,816 I hadn't slept with anyone. 1311 00:52:48,339 --> 00:52:49,731 It was my first time 1312 00:52:49,905 --> 00:52:51,690 and I wanted my first time to be with you, 1313 00:52:51,864 --> 00:52:53,996 I actually did, but I didn't want it like that. 1314 00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:55,737 You are a compulsive liar. 1315 00:52:55,911 --> 00:52:57,652 [Rachel] I called you that night and broke up with you, 1316 00:52:57,826 --> 00:53:00,873 but I didn't call anyone else. I didn't even call my parents, 1317 00:53:01,656 --> 00:53:03,745 - and I never reported it. - Reported what? 1318 00:53:03,919 --> 00:53:05,269 You fucked me in my sleep. 1319 00:53:05,878 --> 00:53:07,706 You fucked me when I wasn't awake. 1320 00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:10,274 Of course, you were awake. You were making noises. 1321 00:53:10,448 --> 00:53:12,537 - You were moaning and groaning. - People talk in their sleep. 1322 00:53:12,711 --> 00:53:14,234 Why can people moan and groan in their sleep? 1323 00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,062 You were moving, I saw your body move. 1324 00:53:16,236 --> 00:53:17,629 [Rachel] It was super dark in your room. 1325 00:53:17,803 --> 00:53:19,544 I saw your reactions. I saw your reactions. 1326 00:53:19,718 --> 00:53:21,589 You definitely had definite physical and vocal reactions, 1327 00:53:21,763 --> 00:53:24,418 reactions to what I was doing sexually. 1328 00:53:24,592 --> 00:53:26,246 You weren't exactly incapacitated. 1329 00:53:26,420 --> 00:53:29,118 Uh, I wasn't exactly participating either. 1330 00:53:29,293 --> 00:53:31,295 Hey, how could I participate when I was lying face down, 1331 00:53:31,469 --> 00:53:32,905 my face buried in the back. 1332 00:53:33,079 --> 00:53:34,820 Do you honestly think I'd have sex with someone 1333 00:53:34,994 --> 00:53:37,301 who is unconscious, with someone I loved? 1334 00:53:37,866 --> 00:53:40,304 - I mean, you did. - No. No, 1335 00:53:40,478 --> 00:53:43,307 there were steps along the-- I stopped. 1336 00:53:43,481 --> 00:53:46,310 I stopped and checked to make sure you were into it. 1337 00:53:46,484 --> 00:53:51,271 I lifted up a mask, the goat mask thing, and I kissed you 1338 00:53:51,445 --> 00:53:53,839 and I said, I have-- I said, I have protection. 1339 00:53:54,013 --> 00:53:55,362 I said the words-- 1340 00:53:55,536 --> 00:53:57,234 "I have protection" could mean I have a gun. 1341 00:53:57,408 --> 00:53:58,539 "I have protection" doesn't necessarily mean 1342 00:53:58,713 --> 00:53:59,888 I have a condom. 1343 00:54:00,062 --> 00:54:01,325 [Calvin] Standard interpretations. 1344 00:54:01,934 --> 00:54:03,631 Of course it means I have a condom. 1345 00:54:03,805 --> 00:54:06,199 "I have protection" is totally synonymous with I have a condom, 1346 00:54:06,373 --> 00:54:08,245 which is what I said to you 1347 00:54:08,419 --> 00:54:10,638 and you said the words, "Okay," which I took as an indication-- 1348 00:54:10,812 --> 00:54:12,466 - Even if I did, - Which you did. 1349 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,468 Even if I did, "Okay" can be interpreted 1350 00:54:14,642 --> 00:54:16,688 in a wide variety of different ways. 1351 00:54:16,862 --> 00:54:18,385 Again, standard interpretation. 1352 00:54:18,559 --> 00:54:21,127 Standard usage of "Okay" would be approval or assent. 1353 00:54:21,301 --> 00:54:23,347 I mean, right? 1354 00:54:23,521 --> 00:54:25,087 I mean, am I crazy? 1355 00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:26,872 Besides, how could you hear anything? 1356 00:54:27,481 --> 00:54:30,092 The party was so loud, the music. 1357 00:54:30,571 --> 00:54:32,356 Isn't it possible that maybe you think you heard 1358 00:54:32,530 --> 00:54:34,227 me mumble the words, "Okay," when I-- 1359 00:54:34,401 --> 00:54:35,881 I was really trying to say, "Go away?" 1360 00:54:36,055 --> 00:54:37,317 You laughed. 1361 00:54:39,363 --> 00:54:42,888 We were laughing because I couldn't get the condom on. 1362 00:54:44,411 --> 00:54:46,979 I had to open a new one. It made us laugh. 1363 00:54:47,153 --> 00:54:49,590 I was laughing, you were laughing. Which-- 1364 00:54:49,764 --> 00:54:51,070 How could you be laughing if you're unconscious? 1365 00:54:51,244 --> 00:54:52,985 Was I laughing or was I crying? 1366 00:54:53,159 --> 00:54:54,595 [Calvin] It was slow, 1367 00:54:54,769 --> 00:54:57,163 it was gentle, 1368 00:54:57,337 --> 00:54:58,599 I was careful not to-- 1369 00:55:00,166 --> 00:55:02,864 I put myself inside you from behind. 1370 00:55:03,648 --> 00:55:05,127 It wasn't, like, a sneak attack. 1371 00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,434 It was only after you had signaled, or indicated, 1372 00:55:07,608 --> 00:55:10,002 or generally hinted at approval. It wasn't rough, 1373 00:55:10,481 --> 00:55:14,311 it wasn't forcible, it wasn't one sided. 1374 00:55:14,485 --> 00:55:16,530 - You were making noises. - Noises? 1375 00:55:16,704 --> 00:55:18,271 Noises, noises, noises? 1376 00:55:18,445 --> 00:55:20,360 Yes, you were making noises. Noises like you liked it. 1377 00:55:20,534 --> 00:55:22,971 I'm not making this up, I swear. 1378 00:55:23,145 --> 00:55:25,191 I heard you make noises. 1379 00:55:25,931 --> 00:55:27,672 Is it-- No, I-- 1380 00:55:27,846 --> 00:55:30,065 is it possible you were not exactly with it 1381 00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:32,894 and drifting in and out of consciousness? Maybe. 1382 00:55:33,939 --> 00:55:35,723 Is it possible you fell asleep during the deed 1383 00:55:35,897 --> 00:55:37,246 and I didn't notice 1384 00:55:37,421 --> 00:55:38,813 because your face was face down on the bed 1385 00:55:38,987 --> 00:55:40,641 and your hair was covering your face 1386 00:55:40,815 --> 00:55:43,122 and I was wearing that mask with, like, severely limited 1387 00:55:43,296 --> 00:55:46,647 visibility, so maybe I wasn't reading the nuances, 1388 00:55:46,821 --> 00:55:49,215 the subtlety of your facial-- I don't know-- 1389 00:55:49,389 --> 00:55:50,956 Just expressions? 1390 00:55:53,741 --> 00:55:56,527 Maybe. Maybe. 1391 00:55:58,093 --> 00:55:59,791 I don't know. I don't know. 1392 00:56:02,533 --> 00:56:04,186 All I know is I would never, 1393 00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:05,623 ever consciously hurt you. 1394 00:56:07,668 --> 00:56:08,930 It just-- 1395 00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:13,979 Happened really fast. 1396 00:56:15,241 --> 00:56:16,547 So fast. 1397 00:56:17,286 --> 00:56:20,246 We just got carried away and things got out of hand 1398 00:56:20,420 --> 00:56:24,468 and I really regret that I-- That we did not have 1399 00:56:24,642 --> 00:56:27,471 the wherewithal, the judgment to stop this whole thing 1400 00:56:27,645 --> 00:56:28,907 before it got started. 1401 00:56:31,039 --> 00:56:32,954 Two drunk college kids, naked on a bed. 1402 00:56:34,347 --> 00:56:37,045 What's going to happen? Something good? 1403 00:56:37,959 --> 00:56:39,221 Things are going to get messy. 1404 00:56:40,135 --> 00:56:42,094 Things are bound to be subject to interpretation. 1405 00:56:42,268 --> 00:56:45,706 I admit my interpretation could be just as faulty as yours. 1406 00:56:46,185 --> 00:56:47,447 It's been a long time. 1407 00:56:48,492 --> 00:56:52,409 Geez it's-- it's a real long time for me to sit here and say 1408 00:56:52,583 --> 00:56:54,802 I have the definitive, dispositive play-by-play 1409 00:56:54,976 --> 00:56:57,718 replay is not-- [exhaling] 1410 00:57:00,939 --> 00:57:04,682 I can't do that. Neither can you. 1411 00:57:04,856 --> 00:57:07,293 Neither of us can say with complete certainty. 1412 00:57:07,467 --> 00:57:09,121 All I can say is-- 1413 00:57:09,295 --> 00:57:11,428 All I can ask is what's more likely? 1414 00:57:11,602 --> 00:57:13,081 That I'm some pathological sexual offender? 1415 00:57:13,255 --> 00:57:15,780 Or that I was too intoxicated myself 1416 00:57:15,954 --> 00:57:17,912 to tell how intoxicated you were? 1417 00:57:18,086 --> 00:57:19,653 To appropriately interpret your consent. 1418 00:57:19,827 --> 00:57:21,089 I didn't consent. 1419 00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:23,701 Legally speaking. 1420 00:57:26,051 --> 00:57:27,356 Legally. 1421 00:57:29,271 --> 00:57:32,100 Are we talking about legality now? 1422 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:36,235 Because legally speaking, something like this-- 1423 00:57:37,628 --> 00:57:39,717 Something that happened this long ago, 1424 00:57:41,414 --> 00:57:42,676 it's very hard to prove. 1425 00:57:44,286 --> 00:57:46,985 It's very expensive. Lawyers. 1426 00:57:47,159 --> 00:57:48,595 [Rachel] Maybe you could loan me one of yours. 1427 00:57:49,901 --> 00:57:52,425 I'm sure you have the best lawyers money can buy. 1428 00:57:52,599 --> 00:57:54,122 I do, actually. 1429 00:57:56,037 --> 00:57:57,604 [Rachel] Conflict of interest, I suppose. 1430 00:57:57,778 --> 00:57:59,388 Our state is one of the states that has 1431 00:57:59,563 --> 00:58:00,955 a statute of limitations, 1432 00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,002 a limit on how long you have to press charges. 1433 00:58:05,307 --> 00:58:06,570 [Rachel] Ooh. 1434 00:58:07,309 --> 00:58:09,660 Did you, like, look it up? 1435 00:58:14,316 --> 00:58:15,535 So did I. 1436 00:58:16,710 --> 00:58:18,190 The statute only applies to adults, 1437 00:58:18,364 --> 00:58:19,713 adult victims. 1438 00:58:19,887 --> 00:58:21,976 You were a Junior, I was a freshman. 1439 00:58:22,150 --> 00:58:24,501 You were 19, I was 17. 1440 00:58:26,633 --> 00:58:32,334 I was a minor. Legally speaking, it was statutory. 1441 00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:33,945 Legally speaking. 1442 00:58:36,251 --> 00:58:38,340 it's a felony to fuck a child. 1443 00:58:39,254 --> 00:58:41,518 The statute of limitations doesn't apply. 1444 00:58:44,651 --> 00:58:45,913 Oh, God. 1445 00:58:47,567 --> 00:58:49,526 What would happen to a guy like you in prison? 1446 00:58:50,831 --> 00:58:52,659 What would happen in the shower? 1447 00:58:54,487 --> 00:58:59,144 You're tight, white ass would get creamed on a weekly basis. 1448 00:58:59,927 --> 00:59:05,237 Then, and only then, will you feel a sliver of what I felt. 1449 00:59:05,411 --> 00:59:07,631 Then, and only then, 1450 00:59:07,805 --> 00:59:10,851 with a cock in your rectum, will you know what it's like 1451 00:59:11,025 --> 00:59:12,331 to be violated. 1452 00:59:15,639 --> 00:59:18,946 Whatever you do, do not drop the soap. 1453 00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:29,261 [laughing] 1454 00:59:30,915 --> 00:59:32,220 [through laughter] Okay, sorry. 1455 00:59:32,394 --> 00:59:34,527 Oh, my gosh. Your face. 1456 00:59:34,701 --> 00:59:38,792 I'm fucking with you, Cal. I'm not going to press charges. 1457 00:59:38,966 --> 00:59:40,794 - [sniffing] - [chuckling] 1458 00:59:42,143 --> 00:59:43,623 Aw. 1459 00:59:43,797 --> 00:59:46,495 I'm glad you said that, Rachel. That's a relief. 1460 00:59:46,670 --> 00:59:49,063 I'm relieved. 1461 00:59:49,237 --> 00:59:50,369 An innocent man should want to clear 1462 00:59:50,543 --> 00:59:51,936 his name in a court of law. 1463 00:59:52,110 --> 00:59:53,590 [Calvin] Innocent men don't exist anymore. 1464 00:59:53,764 --> 00:59:55,243 Boo hoo! 1465 00:59:55,896 --> 00:59:58,072 I think we can settle this out of court. 1466 00:59:58,246 --> 01:00:00,466 I think we can-- I think we can reach a settlement. 1467 01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:03,121 Yes. Let's settle this once and for all. 1468 01:00:03,774 --> 01:00:05,558 Neither one of us wants to drag this out. 1469 01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:07,952 I want you to walk away feeling-- 1470 01:00:08,126 --> 01:00:09,780 Having felt that I understood where you were coming from. 1471 01:00:09,954 --> 01:00:11,651 You don't understand, but you will. 1472 01:00:11,825 --> 01:00:13,348 [Calvin] As long as you understand that I maintain my-- 1473 01:00:13,522 --> 01:00:16,308 I still respectfully disagree with your interpretation 1474 01:00:16,482 --> 01:00:17,831 of the-- 1475 01:00:19,964 --> 01:00:22,923 Maybe we can agree to disagree? 1476 01:00:23,097 --> 01:00:25,230 Maybe we can say something went wrong that night. 1477 01:00:25,404 --> 01:00:27,885 We made the wrong choices, the wrong decisions, 1478 01:00:28,059 --> 01:00:29,626 but it's time to make it right. 1479 01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:32,324 I want to make it right. I want to help you. 1480 01:00:32,498 --> 01:00:34,021 You think I need help? 1481 01:00:34,195 --> 01:00:36,110 Substance abuse is a serious issue. 1482 01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:38,635 Mental health is not a priority in this country. 1483 01:00:38,809 --> 01:00:40,288 I can get you help. 1484 01:00:40,462 --> 01:00:41,986 The best therapists, the best facilities. 1485 01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:44,118 You wanted to l-- you want to ship me away? 1486 01:00:44,771 --> 01:00:46,425 Lock me in the loony bin? 1487 01:00:46,599 --> 01:00:48,427 I spent some time in the loony bin, not super helpful. 1488 01:00:48,601 --> 01:00:50,342 I'm not talking about loony bins, 1489 01:00:50,864 --> 01:00:52,344 I'm talking about a place, 1490 01:00:53,084 --> 01:00:56,130 a high end place to help you get clean, 1491 01:00:56,304 --> 01:00:58,655 get on your feet again. All expenses paid. 1492 01:00:58,829 --> 01:01:00,526 I'll have my assistant put together a list of facilities. 1493 01:01:00,700 --> 01:01:02,267 Money doesn't matter to me, 1494 01:01:02,441 --> 01:01:04,182 what matters is your wellbeing-- 1495 01:01:04,356 --> 01:01:06,401 The only thing that matters to you is getting rid of me, 1496 01:01:06,575 --> 01:01:08,490 getting me to shut my mouth. 1497 01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:10,667 [Calvin] No, I'm trying to help you get things back on track. 1498 01:01:10,841 --> 01:01:13,191 I have access to-- it's easy for me to arrange a few-- 1499 01:01:17,021 --> 01:01:18,892 What are the things that would be useful to you? 1500 01:01:20,111 --> 01:01:21,982 Name the things. You need a car? 1501 01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:24,419 - A job? - Hm. 1502 01:01:24,593 --> 01:01:25,986 A down payment on an apartment? 1503 01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:27,901 - [Rachel] Wow. - Fifty grand. 1504 01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:31,426 I'll Venmo you 50 grand. Right here, right now. 1505 01:01:32,079 --> 01:01:34,342 Start your own theater company. Put on your own plays. 1506 01:01:34,516 --> 01:01:36,344 It's not a handout, it's an investment. 1507 01:01:36,518 --> 01:01:39,652 I'm taking a financial interest in you, in your future. 1508 01:01:41,262 --> 01:01:44,526 Ugh. I'm more interested in the past. 1509 01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:46,180 [Calvin] Seventy-five! Seventy-five! 1510 01:01:46,354 --> 01:01:47,791 You can walk out of this bar with 75k. 1511 01:01:47,965 --> 01:01:49,618 What's that saying about prostitutes? 1512 01:01:49,793 --> 01:01:51,664 You don't pay them for sex, you pay them to leave? 1513 01:01:51,838 --> 01:01:53,622 - That's not what this is. - A million. 1514 01:02:02,327 --> 01:02:03,807 A million. 1515 01:02:03,981 --> 01:02:05,243 I know your net worth, 1516 01:02:06,940 --> 01:02:08,768 and I know you're worth a lot more than that. 1517 01:02:08,942 --> 01:02:11,597 The question is, what is it worth to you? 1518 01:02:18,604 --> 01:02:21,433 - Hmm? - I have the money. 1519 01:02:22,608 --> 01:02:24,436 I can get you the-- 1520 01:02:26,351 --> 01:02:28,527 [sighing] The money is not the issue. 1521 01:02:29,528 --> 01:02:31,269 The issue is by saying okay to the money, 1522 01:02:31,443 --> 01:02:33,706 I'm saying essentially that I did it. 1523 01:02:35,186 --> 01:02:36,491 [Rachel] And? 1524 01:02:37,362 --> 01:02:39,756 And I didn't. 1525 01:02:44,891 --> 01:02:46,153 Fucking with you, Cal. 1526 01:02:47,067 --> 01:02:49,417 [scoffing] I don't want your money. 1527 01:02:49,591 --> 01:02:51,593 - You don't want my money? - I don't want your money. 1528 01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:53,378 [Calvin] Can you tell me what you do want? 1529 01:02:55,684 --> 01:02:57,686 [door opening] 1530 01:02:59,340 --> 01:03:01,734 [people chattering] 1531 01:03:01,908 --> 01:03:04,171 Can we talk about this in private? 1532 01:03:08,349 --> 01:03:09,481 Privacy. 1533 01:03:10,482 --> 01:03:11,657 Yes. 1534 01:03:12,832 --> 01:03:14,834 Discretion, of course. 1535 01:03:16,357 --> 01:03:18,882 Why don't we, uh, yeah. 1536 01:03:19,056 --> 01:03:20,927 Why don't we get the check and get out of here? 1537 01:03:26,063 --> 01:03:27,891 Why don't we go back to your room? 1538 01:03:37,596 --> 01:03:40,425 [tense piano notes] 1539 01:04:11,543 --> 01:04:13,458 [door opening] 1540 01:04:39,658 --> 01:04:40,833 I'm a married man. 1541 01:04:43,705 --> 01:04:45,620 The majority of men can't keep it in their pants. 1542 01:04:45,794 --> 01:04:46,883 They did a study. 1543 01:04:48,362 --> 01:04:49,886 [Calvin exhaling] 1544 01:04:52,584 --> 01:04:54,368 I've never cheated on my wife. 1545 01:04:55,848 --> 01:04:57,241 I've never cheated on my husband. 1546 01:04:59,460 --> 01:05:00,679 Do you actually have a husband? 1547 01:05:00,853 --> 01:05:04,030 Do you actually care about me? 1548 01:05:04,204 --> 01:05:06,119 Okay, okay. Can we-- 1549 01:05:06,293 --> 01:05:08,948 can we stop playing games, if at all possible? 1550 01:05:09,122 --> 01:05:10,907 It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. 1551 01:05:13,083 --> 01:05:14,345 Do you want to hurt me, Cal? 1552 01:05:16,477 --> 01:05:18,088 I want a drink. 1553 01:05:19,350 --> 01:05:20,568 I could use a drink. 1554 01:05:24,485 --> 01:05:26,748 Didn't you just tell me you just get out of rehab? 1555 01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:29,795 Do you believe everything everybody tells you? 1556 01:05:31,710 --> 01:05:33,451 Please tell me there's a mini bar. 1557 01:05:34,278 --> 01:05:36,802 Where is the mini bar? 1558 01:05:40,066 --> 01:05:41,285 [bottles clinking] 1559 01:06:07,137 --> 01:06:10,836 Whiskey, for, uh, old times' sake. Yeah? 1560 01:06:25,242 --> 01:06:27,113 That'll take the edge off, right? 1561 01:06:28,593 --> 01:06:29,898 You gotta relax, Cal. 1562 01:06:31,291 --> 01:06:34,686 There's no reason this can't be, um, fun, right? 1563 01:06:34,860 --> 01:06:37,906 We can make this kind of romantic. 1564 01:06:39,430 --> 01:06:41,736 Hey, do you mind if I play some music? That would be-- 1565 01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:45,088 Oh, yes. Your screen's locked. What's your-- 1566 01:06:45,262 --> 01:06:49,005 want to punch in your little, um, code thingy? 1567 01:06:53,444 --> 01:06:55,185 [exhaling] 1568 01:07:00,407 --> 01:07:03,106 [key clacking softly] 1569 01:07:07,458 --> 01:07:11,636 [Rachel whistling, humming] 1570 01:07:13,246 --> 01:07:16,162 [upbeat music] 1571 01:07:16,336 --> 01:07:17,990 Do you want to dance? 1572 01:07:18,947 --> 01:07:20,297 [Calvin] I don't. 1573 01:07:22,603 --> 01:07:24,388 Come on. Dance with me, Cal. 1574 01:07:38,010 --> 01:07:40,882 [laughing] You were never a very good dancer. 1575 01:07:42,014 --> 01:07:43,581 Nope. 1576 01:07:44,538 --> 01:07:45,713 You were always too uptight. 1577 01:07:46,888 --> 01:07:48,412 Yeah. 1578 01:07:49,021 --> 01:07:50,631 You need to loosen up, Cal. 1579 01:07:51,371 --> 01:07:53,112 Just let it all hang loose. 1580 01:08:12,436 --> 01:08:13,915 We had a good thing, Cal. 1581 01:08:15,569 --> 01:08:17,354 Do you remember how good our thing was? 1582 01:08:20,313 --> 01:08:21,532 [Calvin] Yes. 1583 01:08:26,363 --> 01:08:28,582 Do you remember how good it felt? 1584 01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:30,497 To feel me? 1585 01:08:33,152 --> 01:08:35,676 - Yes - Yeah? 1586 01:08:43,119 --> 01:08:44,903 Thought you said no hard feelings. 1587 01:08:45,077 --> 01:08:46,948 - [Calvin moaning] - You feel pretty hard to me. 1588 01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:49,342 [Calvin groaning] Okay, okay, okay. 1589 01:08:49,516 --> 01:08:51,692 All right. This is getting weird. 1590 01:08:53,781 --> 01:08:56,610 [moaning] Speaking of weird... 1591 01:09:29,730 --> 01:09:31,036 Rachel? 1592 01:09:31,689 --> 01:09:33,473 Oh, do you want to put on a play? 1593 01:09:33,647 --> 01:09:35,910 A little, uh, a little reenactment. 1594 01:09:36,084 --> 01:09:37,608 A little performance art? 1595 01:09:38,565 --> 01:09:41,046 Don't be shy, just do what she did that night. 1596 01:09:42,003 --> 01:09:44,919 I'll play me, you'll pay you. Okey dokey? 1597 01:09:45,093 --> 01:09:46,399 Act one, scene one. 1598 01:09:46,573 --> 01:09:48,401 I'm laying like this, face down. 1599 01:09:48,575 --> 01:09:51,099 - Helpless, lifeless. - I don't want to do this. 1600 01:09:51,274 --> 01:09:52,753 Do what you did and do me, Cal. 1601 01:09:52,927 --> 01:09:55,321 - Rachel, no. No. - Do it! 1602 01:09:55,495 --> 01:09:59,195 [exhaling] Oh, I'm sorry, am I'm making you uncomfortable? 1603 01:09:59,369 --> 01:10:01,632 I-- I just got to ask you to leave. 1604 01:10:03,721 --> 01:10:05,157 Oh, I'm not going anywhere. 1605 01:10:06,114 --> 01:10:08,204 You can kick me out, but I'll, uh-- 1606 01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,032 I just keep coming back. 1607 01:10:11,207 --> 01:10:12,599 I'll just keep showing up. 1608 01:10:12,773 --> 01:10:14,775 Uh, at the gym, at the grocery store, 1609 01:10:14,949 --> 01:10:16,255 at soccer games on Saturday morning. 1610 01:10:16,429 --> 01:10:17,952 Maybe I'll swing by 1611 01:10:18,126 --> 01:10:20,477 the McMansion, 121 Artesian Street, right? 1612 01:10:20,651 --> 01:10:22,043 Maybe your wife can give me a tour. 1613 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:23,436 Leave my wife out of this. 1614 01:10:25,133 --> 01:10:27,353 - Do you think, um-- - [woman moaning on laptop] 1615 01:10:27,527 --> 01:10:28,963 Sara would leave you 1616 01:10:29,137 --> 01:10:30,965 if she found out what kind of porn you like? 1617 01:10:31,792 --> 01:10:33,490 Gotta clear that browser history, bro. 1618 01:10:33,664 --> 01:10:35,840 - Give me the-- - Porn like this? 1619 01:10:36,014 --> 01:10:37,711 You don't want to leave this lying around the house. 1620 01:10:37,885 --> 01:10:39,322 Your daughters might be disgusted 1621 01:10:39,496 --> 01:10:41,585 - by Daddy's viewing habits. - Give me the-- 1622 01:10:41,759 --> 01:10:43,108 You like to watch the rough stuff, huh? 1623 01:10:43,282 --> 01:10:44,718 This girl's got a gag in her mouth. 1624 01:10:44,892 --> 01:10:48,113 Handcuffs? This is hardcore, Cal. 1625 01:10:48,287 --> 01:10:50,724 - This is barely legal. - Give me the computer! 1626 01:10:53,161 --> 01:10:55,468 Thought you didn't like porn. Thought you weren't a porn guy. 1627 01:10:55,642 --> 01:10:56,817 When I'm traveling. 1628 01:10:57,644 --> 01:10:59,385 When I'm away on business. Every guy likes to watch-- 1629 01:10:59,559 --> 01:11:02,388 This isn't even porn. This isn't a porn star, 1630 01:11:02,562 --> 01:11:05,435 this just some girl in some basement being bound 1631 01:11:05,609 --> 01:11:07,872 and gagged and violated against her will. 1632 01:11:08,046 --> 01:11:09,700 This is some sick shit, Cal. 1633 01:11:09,874 --> 01:11:11,702 Okay, you know what? I think I've had enough. 1634 01:11:11,876 --> 01:11:14,095 I think I've been more than willing to-- up to this point, 1635 01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:16,010 I've really tried my best to accommodate you. 1636 01:11:16,184 --> 01:11:17,708 - Accommodate me? - But really, I mean, 1637 01:11:17,882 --> 01:11:19,275 at some point, like, enough is enough. 1638 01:11:19,449 --> 01:11:20,841 At some point, you've convinced yourself 1639 01:11:21,015 --> 01:11:22,539 you have some kind of leverage over me. 1640 01:11:22,713 --> 01:11:24,367 Enough leverage to extort me, to threaten me, 1641 01:11:24,541 --> 01:11:26,020 to make threats that you're somehow going to destroy 1642 01:11:26,194 --> 01:11:27,631 my life because you think I destroyed yours? 1643 01:11:27,805 --> 01:11:29,067 Well, think again. You can't blackmail me, 1644 01:11:29,241 --> 01:11:30,851 you can't get me to capitulate. 1645 01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:33,201 You are not negotiating from a position of power. 1646 01:11:33,376 --> 01:11:35,029 All right? Trust me, I've been on the winning end 1647 01:11:35,203 --> 01:11:36,553 of a lot of negotiations. 1648 01:11:36,727 --> 01:11:38,598 I've been in rooms, in arbitration, 1649 01:11:38,772 --> 01:11:40,339 arbitrating equity on a level way beyond your comprehension. 1650 01:11:40,513 --> 01:11:42,515 There's a time to broker a deal, and there's a time 1651 01:11:42,689 --> 01:11:44,517 to walk away from the table, and I'm telling you, Rachel, 1652 01:11:44,691 --> 01:11:46,214 it's time for you to find the closest exit 1653 01:11:46,389 --> 01:11:47,738 before I call my counsel, 1654 01:11:47,912 --> 01:11:49,522 which is not one person, it's many people, 1655 01:11:49,696 --> 01:11:52,003 and they will ring you out, Rachel. 1656 01:11:52,177 --> 01:11:53,744 They will hang you out to dry. 1657 01:11:53,918 --> 01:11:55,702 They will simply dismantle you piece by piece. 1658 01:11:55,876 --> 01:11:57,051 They will take you apart. 1659 01:11:57,225 --> 01:11:59,880 I mean, who are you, really? 1660 01:12:00,054 --> 01:12:02,100 Who is Rachel Lerner? A college dropout? 1661 01:12:02,274 --> 01:12:04,885 A drug addict? A junkie who's been in and out of rehab, 1662 01:12:05,059 --> 01:12:06,496 a part-time prostitute? 1663 01:12:06,670 --> 01:12:08,062 somebody who, I'm assuming, sucked some dick 1664 01:12:08,236 --> 01:12:10,064 for money at some point in her life. 1665 01:12:10,238 --> 01:12:12,763 I'm sensing some credibility issues, some character issues. 1666 01:12:12,937 --> 01:12:14,417 You see, you don't have a hand to play 1667 01:12:14,591 --> 01:12:15,940 because you don't have any proof. 1668 01:12:16,114 --> 01:12:18,116 Go tell everyone what you think I did. Go! 1669 01:12:18,290 --> 01:12:19,987 No one will believe you. Why? 1670 01:12:20,161 --> 01:12:21,772 Because you're you, and I'm me. 1671 01:12:21,946 --> 01:12:24,383 Who are you? I mean, really. 1672 01:12:24,557 --> 01:12:25,950 [clapping] Who is Calvin Green? 1673 01:12:26,124 --> 01:12:29,040 We're done doing this. We're done. 1674 01:12:30,171 --> 01:12:31,825 I can't prove a negative. 1675 01:12:31,999 --> 01:12:35,351 It's an impossible-- it's an epistemological problem. 1676 01:12:35,525 --> 01:12:38,658 It's a semantic dispute. I'm saying I didn't do it. 1677 01:12:38,832 --> 01:12:41,052 You're saying I did. What's the definition of did, 1678 01:12:41,226 --> 01:12:43,446 - what's the definition of it? - You know what you did. 1679 01:12:43,620 --> 01:12:46,057 What do I have to do to get you to walk out that door? 1680 01:12:46,231 --> 01:12:47,798 I'm ready to walk out that door. 1681 01:12:47,972 --> 01:12:49,713 I'm ready to close that door behind me, forever. 1682 01:12:49,887 --> 01:12:51,192 If? 1683 01:12:51,367 --> 01:12:53,456 If you do something for me, first. 1684 01:12:54,239 --> 01:12:56,067 - Name it. - You're not going to like it. 1685 01:12:56,241 --> 01:12:57,764 A million was just the opening bid. 1686 01:12:57,938 --> 01:12:59,505 The bid is in your court to counter. 1687 01:12:59,679 --> 01:13:01,377 Here's my offer. 1688 01:13:01,551 --> 01:13:03,291 It won't be easy, it won't be fun. 1689 01:13:03,466 --> 01:13:05,598 But once you do it, I promise this whole ordeal 1690 01:13:05,772 --> 01:13:07,687 will be over and you will never see me again. 1691 01:13:07,861 --> 01:13:10,647 Tell me what to do, tell me what you need. 1692 01:13:11,299 --> 01:13:12,779 The truth. 1693 01:13:12,953 --> 01:13:15,303 I've been telling you the truth all day. 1694 01:13:15,478 --> 01:13:17,262 The truth, as I remember it. 1695 01:13:17,436 --> 01:13:19,133 - [Rachel] Tell me the truth. - There's not one-- 1696 01:13:19,307 --> 01:13:22,006 there's no definitive-- there's no Archimedes point here. 1697 01:13:22,180 --> 01:13:24,312 - Tell me the truth! - Whose truth is that, Rachel? 1698 01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:26,314 What truth? 1699 01:13:26,489 --> 01:13:28,534 You want me to just tell you what I think really happened? 1700 01:13:28,708 --> 01:13:30,841 Or you want me to tell you what you want to hear? 1701 01:13:31,015 --> 01:13:33,234 - Tell me the truth! - Okay, okay, fine. Okay, fine. 1702 01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:35,585 Here's the-- here's the truth, Rachel. 1703 01:13:35,759 --> 01:13:38,283 The truth, according to you, here's your version of events. 1704 01:13:38,457 --> 01:13:40,067 Here's what you want me to say. 1705 01:13:40,241 --> 01:13:42,069 You want me to--what? Incriminate myself? 1706 01:13:42,243 --> 01:13:44,724 Throw myself under the bus? Demonize myself? 1707 01:13:44,898 --> 01:13:46,900 Fine. Fine. Okay. I'm a demon. 1708 01:13:47,074 --> 01:13:49,207 I'm a demon! I'm a demon. 1709 01:13:49,381 --> 01:13:52,776 But you are a cock tease. 1710 01:13:53,298 --> 01:13:56,475 That's the truth. The truth is six months we dated, 1711 01:13:56,649 --> 01:13:58,695 six months-- and we never had sex. 1712 01:13:58,869 --> 01:14:00,305 Even though you fucked your fair share 1713 01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:02,002 of the student population, 1714 01:14:02,176 --> 01:14:03,743 even though you fucked all these random guys. 1715 01:14:03,917 --> 01:14:05,092 God forbid you meet a good guy 1716 01:14:05,266 --> 01:14:06,703 who actually cared about you. 1717 01:14:06,877 --> 01:14:09,488 A nice guy who goes out on a limb, 1718 01:14:09,662 --> 01:14:11,751 tells you he actually loves you. 1719 01:14:11,925 --> 01:14:14,058 With that guy you want to go slow, 1720 01:14:14,232 --> 01:14:15,929 you don't want to go all the way. 1721 01:14:16,103 --> 01:14:18,584 You wanna go slow, like you're-- like you're suddenly 1722 01:14:18,758 --> 01:14:20,847 this squeaky clean little schoolgirl. 1723 01:14:21,021 --> 01:14:22,806 - Suddenly, this virgin-- - I was. 1724 01:14:22,980 --> 01:14:25,852 Bullshit! There I was-- there I was. 1725 01:14:26,026 --> 01:14:27,811 I remember-- I remember it so vividly. 1726 01:14:27,985 --> 01:14:29,856 There I was at the party, telling you I loved you. 1727 01:14:30,030 --> 01:14:31,858 I was telling you I loved you, spilling my guts out. 1728 01:14:32,032 --> 01:14:33,643 But you didn't tell me you loved me back. 1729 01:14:33,817 --> 01:14:35,253 You told me to get you another drink. 1730 01:14:35,427 --> 01:14:36,950 You seem to think I drugged that drink. 1731 01:14:37,124 --> 01:14:39,083 You seem convinced that I slipped you something. 1732 01:14:39,257 --> 01:14:41,694 So let's just say, okay, fine. Fine, Rachel. You win. 1733 01:14:41,868 --> 01:14:44,001 I slipped you something, I spiked it. 1734 01:14:44,175 --> 01:14:45,959 I spiked that shit. I spiked it. 1735 01:14:46,133 --> 01:14:48,962 For the sake of the argument, let's just say I spiked it. 1736 01:14:49,136 --> 01:14:51,138 Let's just say I had every intention 1737 01:14:51,312 --> 01:14:53,445 to have my way with you. My intentions were not good, 1738 01:14:53,619 --> 01:14:55,578 and I'm not a good guy. I'm just a total animal. 1739 01:14:55,752 --> 01:14:57,536 I'm a total fucking monster. From your point of view, 1740 01:14:57,710 --> 01:14:59,495 I'm just a total fucking prick, a fucking monster-- fuck, 1741 01:14:59,669 --> 01:15:03,281 an apex predator of pussy. I'm a sick fuck. 1742 01:15:03,455 --> 01:15:05,501 You're so right about me, Rachel. You're so right. 1743 01:15:05,675 --> 01:15:07,633 And it wasn't just you, you were just the start. 1744 01:15:07,807 --> 01:15:09,374 You were just the beginning. 1745 01:15:09,548 --> 01:15:11,463 When I was going to grad school, when I was getting 1746 01:15:11,637 --> 01:15:13,596 my MBA, I'd get in my car and I drive over 1747 01:15:13,770 --> 01:15:15,598 to the shitty part of Philly, the part with the prostitutes, 1748 01:15:15,772 --> 01:15:17,425 and I'd pick up these prostitutes, yeah, every one, 1749 01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:19,993 and I'd just pick 'em up. I pick 'em up and some of them 1750 01:15:20,167 --> 01:15:21,952 will actually let you t-- tie them up and shit, 1751 01:15:22,126 --> 01:15:24,041 some of them will actually let you strangle them for, like, 1752 01:15:24,215 --> 01:15:26,130 not that much money for, like, you know, basically like $27. 1753 01:15:26,304 --> 01:15:28,654 You basically almost-- you choke a sex worker 1754 01:15:28,828 --> 01:15:30,264 in the backseat of your Prius. 1755 01:15:30,438 --> 01:15:32,049 How sick and twisted is that? 1756 01:15:32,223 --> 01:15:34,268 But hey, that's me, right? Sick puppy. 1757 01:15:34,312 --> 01:15:36,575 Ooh, take this au pair. Au pair,this 19-year-old 1758 01:15:36,749 --> 01:15:38,925 au pair from Belarus, or wherever the fuck. 1759 01:15:39,099 --> 01:15:41,188 Day one, she's flirting with me in front of my wife. 1760 01:15:41,362 --> 01:15:43,495 Like, pretty overt flirting. Like, touching my arm, 1761 01:15:43,669 --> 01:15:45,715 like, laughing too hard at all my jokes. 1762 01:15:45,889 --> 01:15:49,153 My wife was like, my wife was like, this is getting weird! 1763 01:15:49,327 --> 01:15:52,460 I tried to discourage it, I-- I tried playing it down, 1764 01:15:52,635 --> 01:15:55,115 The au pair couldn't get the hint. 1765 01:15:55,289 --> 01:15:57,640 Finally, one night, late at night, 1766 01:15:57,814 --> 01:15:59,467 I, uh, I had to go into the guest house, 1767 01:15:59,642 --> 01:16:01,208 and I guess I took her by surprise, 1768 01:16:01,382 --> 01:16:02,949 because she starts hitting me and biting me 1769 01:16:03,123 --> 01:16:04,908 to the point where I had actually put a pillowcase 1770 01:16:05,082 --> 01:16:06,736 over her head so she would calm down. 1771 01:16:06,910 --> 01:16:09,695 My dick was so far up her ass until she realized 1772 01:16:09,869 --> 01:16:12,089 the more she moved, the more hurt. 1773 01:16:12,263 --> 01:16:13,394 She got the message loud and clear, 1774 01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,440 because the next day at dinner, 1775 01:16:15,614 --> 01:16:17,137 she's the most professional au pair in the world. 1776 01:16:17,311 --> 01:16:19,270 No more flirting, no more laughing at all my jokes. 1777 01:16:19,444 --> 01:16:21,011 I guess she didn't find me funny anymore. 1778 01:16:21,185 --> 01:16:23,970 Oh, and my assistant-- 22, smoking hot. Right? 1779 01:16:24,144 --> 01:16:25,929 And she knows it, you know? 1780 01:16:26,103 --> 01:16:27,844 I mean, who shows up to an office Christmas party 1781 01:16:28,018 --> 01:16:29,541 wearing what amounts to a mini skirt? 1782 01:16:29,715 --> 01:16:31,282 Who binge drinks at an office Christmas party 1783 01:16:31,456 --> 01:16:33,066 and gets so drunk that she gets sick in 1784 01:16:33,240 --> 01:16:34,720 the women's bathroom and blacks out in the stall? 1785 01:16:34,894 --> 01:16:36,113 My assistant. 1786 01:16:36,679 --> 01:16:38,245 I just lock the bathroom door, right? 1787 01:16:38,419 --> 01:16:40,204 I go to town on that tight little pussy. 1788 01:16:40,378 --> 01:16:42,206 She's out like a light, and to this day, 1789 01:16:42,380 --> 01:16:44,121 she has no idea what I did to her. 1790 01:16:44,295 --> 01:16:46,645 Can we stop doing this now? Or do you need to hear more? 1791 01:16:46,819 --> 01:16:48,342 You need me to come out and say it? 1792 01:16:48,516 --> 01:16:50,649 Hi, everybody. I, Calvin Green am a rapist. 1793 01:16:50,823 --> 01:16:54,305 I rape people for a living. I raped you, Rachel. 1794 01:16:54,479 --> 01:16:56,307 If you don't get the fuck out of here, 1795 01:16:56,481 --> 01:16:59,353 and get the fuck out of my life, I will rape you again. 1796 01:16:59,527 --> 01:17:01,617 Maybe twice, 1797 01:17:01,791 --> 01:17:04,663 [yelling] depending on how fast I blow my load! 1798 01:17:28,513 --> 01:17:31,385 The fuck are you doing? Sudoku? 1799 01:17:43,310 --> 01:17:49,099 It's sarah.green@smail.com, right? 1800 01:17:49,273 --> 01:17:54,104 And e-holt@scorchcapital.com? 1801 01:17:54,278 --> 01:17:56,323 I just want to make sure I sent this to the right... 1802 01:17:57,324 --> 01:17:59,762 I want to make sure I have the right addresses for them. 1803 01:18:02,460 --> 01:18:05,028 - What have you-- - Oh, I just, um-- 1804 01:18:06,464 --> 01:18:10,076 I just e-mailed your wife, and your boss. I just-- uh-- 1805 01:18:11,077 --> 01:18:14,994 - Sent a little email. - You email my-- my wife? 1806 01:18:15,168 --> 01:18:16,822 And your boss. 1807 01:18:23,611 --> 01:18:24,874 What have you done? 1808 01:18:25,831 --> 01:18:27,441 You did it yourself. 1809 01:18:29,052 --> 01:18:30,444 Like I said... 1810 01:18:31,881 --> 01:18:33,621 surveillance state. 1811 01:18:33,665 --> 01:18:36,363 [Calvin on recording] She's out like a light, 1812 01:18:36,407 --> 01:18:38,714 and to this day, she has no idea what I did to her. 1813 01:18:38,757 --> 01:18:41,151 Can we stop doing this now, or do you need to hear more? 1814 01:18:41,194 --> 01:18:43,849 Do you need me to come out and say it? Hi, everybody. 1815 01:18:43,893 --> 01:18:45,808 - [Rachel] Mm. - I-- Calvin Green am a rapist. 1816 01:18:45,851 --> 01:18:47,940 I rape people for a living. I raped you, Rachel. 1817 01:18:47,984 --> 01:18:49,681 If you don't get the fuck out of here, 1818 01:18:49,725 --> 01:18:51,596 and get the fuck out of my life, 1819 01:18:51,639 --> 01:18:53,729 I will rape you again, maybe twice. 1820 01:18:53,772 --> 01:18:56,732 Depending on how fast I blow my load. 1821 01:18:58,559 --> 01:18:59,691 It's not true... 1822 01:19:01,867 --> 01:19:03,129 what I said. 1823 01:19:05,958 --> 01:19:08,787 I was saying what you wanted me to say. 1824 01:19:11,659 --> 01:19:12,922 I was... 1825 01:19:15,359 --> 01:19:16,926 I was making it up? 1826 01:19:17,970 --> 01:19:20,756 I just made that up. 1827 01:19:23,019 --> 01:19:25,195 I just made that shit up. Okay, Rachel? 1828 01:19:28,981 --> 01:19:32,071 I didn't actually do any of that stuff. 1829 01:19:34,204 --> 01:19:37,120 I never did anything to you, or anybody else. 1830 01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:44,344 Wha-- Why are you doing this to me? 1831 01:19:46,520 --> 01:19:47,957 No one will believe you. 1832 01:19:50,307 --> 01:19:52,048 Do you really believe that? 1833 01:19:57,401 --> 01:19:59,490 Fuck you, you fucking bitch. 1834 01:20:06,236 --> 01:20:08,847 [Rachel yelping] 1835 01:20:10,675 --> 01:20:13,417 [struggling] 1836 01:20:13,591 --> 01:20:16,899 [yelling] 1837 01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:30,869 [Rachel protesting] 1838 01:20:31,043 --> 01:20:36,266 [muffled screaming] 1839 01:20:41,358 --> 01:20:45,536 [struggling] 1840 01:20:47,581 --> 01:20:51,368 [Rachel gasping] 1841 01:20:56,852 --> 01:21:01,944 [Calvin breathing slowing] 1842 01:21:18,917 --> 01:21:22,747 [both breathing] 1843 01:21:28,927 --> 01:21:32,496 [muted thudding] 1844 01:21:35,891 --> 01:21:38,894 [heartbeat] 1845 01:21:55,867 --> 01:21:59,392 [high-pitched ringing] 1846 01:22:32,860 --> 01:22:36,212 [warped tones] 1847 01:23:03,152 --> 01:23:06,416 [exhaling slowly] 1848 01:23:33,051 --> 01:23:36,011 [taser buzzing] 1849 01:24:06,650 --> 01:24:07,912 [curtain rings scraping] 1850 01:24:44,209 --> 01:24:48,039 [belt buckle tinkling] 1851 01:25:31,343 --> 01:25:35,042 [Skype ringtone chiming] 1852 01:25:50,188 --> 01:25:54,018 [Skype tone continuing to ring] 1853 01:25:58,457 --> 01:26:01,547 [Calvin groaning, whining] 1854 01:26:03,027 --> 01:26:07,814 [sighing, murmuring] 1855 01:26:13,080 --> 01:26:14,169 [call dropping] 1856 01:26:47,811 --> 01:26:50,030 [Calvin sobbing softly] 1857 01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:54,165 - [Calvin murmuring] - [Skype ringtone chiming] 1858 01:26:54,339 --> 01:26:59,692 No... Please... 1859 01:26:59,866 --> 01:27:03,522 - No. - [Rachel breathing heavily] 1860 01:27:12,052 --> 01:27:15,055 No. No, no. 1861 01:27:18,015 --> 01:27:21,366 [Rachel breathing] 1862 01:27:21,540 --> 01:27:24,587 [Calvin whining] 1863 01:27:31,071 --> 01:27:36,816 [breathing intensifying] 1864 01:27:36,990 --> 01:27:39,819 [tense piano notes] 1865 01:27:44,302 --> 01:27:48,350 [discordant classical music] 1866 01:28:20,120 --> 01:28:25,517 ♪ 1867 01:28:59,334 --> 01:29:04,382 ♪ 1868 01:29:30,669 --> 01:29:35,761 ♪ 1869 01:29:58,305 --> 01:30:03,223 ♪ 1870 01:30:03,398 --> 01:30:05,748 [footsteps] 1871 01:30:07,663 --> 01:30:10,317 [birds chirping] 1872 01:30:23,026 --> 01:30:26,159 [cars passing] 1873 01:30:29,075 --> 01:30:32,775 [aircraft passing overhead] 146062

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