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1
00:00:15,559 --> 00:00:17,327
Huh.
2
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,631
Says here that sour cream is
on sale over at Shop Mart.
3
00:00:20,664 --> 00:00:22,132
[Laszlo]
Shut up, Colin Robinson.
4
00:00:22,165 --> 00:00:23,500
[Guide]
Knock, knock.
5
00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:26,470
Guillermo, there's someone
at the door.
6
00:00:26,503 --> 00:00:28,405
[laughs]
No, that was me
7
00:00:28,438 --> 00:00:29,840
just saying, "Knock, knock."
8
00:00:29,873 --> 00:00:32,843
Guillermo, never mind.
It was nobody.
9
00:00:32,876 --> 00:00:36,647
Mm. Oh, I just came by
to remind everyone
10
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,650
that tonight is
my big art gallery opening
11
00:00:39,683 --> 00:00:42,286
-of all the paintings
I've been working on.
-[Laszlo] Paintings?
12
00:00:42,319 --> 00:00:45,689
The intoxicating elixir
to the weary mind.
13
00:00:45,722 --> 00:00:47,090
Who is the artist?
14
00:00:47,123 --> 00:00:48,524
I am.
15
00:00:49,325 --> 00:00:52,195
-Tell me more about the
sour cream sale, Colin Robinson.
-[Guide] Wait.
16
00:00:52,228 --> 00:00:55,799
You're all coming, right?
'Cause you did RSVP yes.
17
00:00:55,832 --> 00:00:58,568
Eh... sort of hard to
shuffle things around
18
00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:02,172
at this late stage,
but let us think on it.
19
00:01:02,205 --> 00:01:05,341
This is a really
good book, so...
20
00:01:06,643 --> 00:01:08,712
[sighs]
Okey doke.
21
00:01:08,745 --> 00:01:10,180
Oh!
22
00:01:10,213 --> 00:01:12,249
Uh, you received
23
00:01:12,282 --> 00:01:14,284
a message in the post
24
00:01:14,317 --> 00:01:16,787
from a Perdita Morrigan?
25
00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:18,355
Perdita Morrigan?
26
00:01:18,388 --> 00:01:21,224
-Yeah.
-Oh, the Perdita Morrigan?
27
00:01:21,257 --> 00:01:22,592
Who's Perdita Morrigan?
28
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,461
-Could you read the note?
-[clears throat]
29
00:01:24,494 --> 00:01:26,229
-[Nadja] Hurry it up.
Let's hear it.
-All right.
30
00:01:26,262 --> 00:01:29,566
"Mrs. Morrigan requests
the pleasure of your company
31
00:01:29,599 --> 00:01:34,171
for a weekend at her ancestral
state Morrigan Manor."
32
00:01:34,204 --> 00:01:35,639
Morrigan Manor, my love!
33
00:01:35,672 --> 00:01:36,740
[whoops]
34
00:01:36,773 --> 00:01:37,774
[Nadja]
Perdita Morrigan
35
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,609
is the grand dame of
36
00:01:39,642 --> 00:01:42,813
vampiric high society
in the New World.
37
00:01:42,846 --> 00:01:44,281
Yeah. She's the matriarch
of one of
38
00:01:44,314 --> 00:01:45,649
America's first
vampiric families.
39
00:01:45,682 --> 00:01:47,284
She came over on the Mayflower.
40
00:01:47,317 --> 00:01:49,319
She was there
at the Plymouth Colonies
41
00:01:49,352 --> 00:01:51,688
during the first winter,
when 45 men died.
42
00:01:51,721 --> 00:01:53,624
[Nadja]
And 23 of those were murders
43
00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:55,258
committed by Perdita herself.
44
00:01:55,291 --> 00:01:56,760
She just did it...
45
00:01:56,793 --> 00:01:59,730
very quietly, and then blamed it
on the cold weather.
46
00:01:59,763 --> 00:02:01,365
[laughs]
47
00:02:01,398 --> 00:02:04,101
Perdita Morrigan holds
a Met Ball after-party
48
00:02:04,134 --> 00:02:05,802
that is so exclusive,
49
00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:08,271
no one is invited.
50
00:02:08,304 --> 00:02:09,473
[Guide]
I mean, I get it.
51
00:02:09,506 --> 00:02:11,475
This Perdita is some big shot,
52
00:02:11,508 --> 00:02:13,744
but my vampires know how hard
53
00:02:13,777 --> 00:02:15,412
I've been working
on these paintings.
54
00:02:15,445 --> 00:02:17,114
I think they will make
the right decision.
55
00:02:17,147 --> 00:02:21,718
Guillermo, bring the car around.
We are out of here.
56
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,722
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
57
00:02:25,755 --> 00:02:28,325
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long ♪
58
00:02:28,358 --> 00:02:30,727
♪ They have no use
for your song ♪
59
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:34,531
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead ♪
60
00:02:34,564 --> 00:02:36,399
♪ You're dead
and out of this world ♪
61
00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:40,871
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone ♪
62
00:02:40,904 --> 00:02:43,674
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world ♪
63
00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:46,143
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead ♪
64
00:02:46,176 --> 00:02:48,244
♪ You're dead
and out of this world. ♪
65
00:02:53,149 --> 00:02:55,184
♪ ♪
66
00:02:58,288 --> 00:03:00,390
[gate creaking]
67
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:04,127
[thunder rumbling]
68
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,330
[Guillermo]
All right, here we are.
69
00:03:06,363 --> 00:03:08,398
-Wakey-wakey.
-[Colin groans]
70
00:03:08,431 --> 00:03:10,100
[Guillermo]
Wow, look at this place.
71
00:03:10,133 --> 00:03:11,234
Fan-cy.
72
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:13,136
I need to realign my chakras.
73
00:03:13,169 --> 00:03:15,305
[groaning, farting]
74
00:03:15,338 --> 00:03:16,506
Oops. Yeah.
75
00:03:16,539 --> 00:03:18,108
That's gonna happen.
76
00:03:18,141 --> 00:03:19,509
-[bats screeching]
-[Colin] Whew.
77
00:03:19,542 --> 00:03:22,546
It means you're doing it right.
[laughs]
78
00:03:22,579 --> 00:03:24,481
What's with this silly shit?
79
00:03:24,514 --> 00:03:26,116
-Is that stuck on?
-Oh.
80
00:03:26,149 --> 00:03:28,485
No, I-I thought I'd grow it out
for the weekend.
81
00:03:28,518 --> 00:03:30,287
Mm. Really?
82
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,722
-You can grow
a mustache that fast?
-Oh, yeah.
83
00:03:31,755 --> 00:03:33,724
No, I have to shave, like,
three times a day.
84
00:03:33,757 --> 00:03:35,325
Not just my face either.
85
00:03:35,358 --> 00:03:38,362
-Okay.
-Undercarriage, chest, balls...
86
00:03:38,395 --> 00:03:40,263
Ooh! We made it.
87
00:03:40,296 --> 00:03:42,833
-[chuckles]
-Yes, sorry you had to fly
the whole way.
88
00:03:42,866 --> 00:03:44,501
-[coughs]
-It's just there wasn't really
89
00:03:44,534 --> 00:03:46,269
-any room in the car.
-Yeah.
90
00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:47,704
I think it was almost 200 miles.
91
00:03:47,737 --> 00:03:49,139
-[Nandor] About that.
-[Guillermo] Over 200.
92
00:03:49,172 --> 00:03:50,674
[Guide]
I have a treat for you.
93
00:03:50,707 --> 00:03:52,409
-I brought the paintings.
-Oh.
94
00:03:52,442 --> 00:03:54,778
I figured if you all couldn't
come to the art opening,
95
00:03:54,811 --> 00:03:58,248
then the art opening
can come to you guys.
96
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,517
Oh. Guys?
97
00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:03,720
Oh, I get it, you want to
look at them inside. Okay.
98
00:04:03,753 --> 00:04:06,290
-[door creaks]
-[Nadja] Ooh.
99
00:04:06,323 --> 00:04:08,292
-[thunder rumbling]
-[Guide] Hello?
100
00:04:08,325 --> 00:04:10,327
Perdita? Hello?
101
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,195
[Nandor]
A little dingy.
102
00:04:12,228 --> 00:04:15,666
Are you sure the invitation
was for this weekend?
103
00:04:15,699 --> 00:04:19,102
-Yes! Oh, she left us a note.
-[Nandor] A note?
104
00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:20,437
It says, "Dear Guests..."
105
00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:21,471
-[gasps]
-That's us.
106
00:04:21,504 --> 00:04:23,440
"Welcome to Morrigan Manor.
107
00:04:23,473 --> 00:04:27,344
"So sorry not to greet you
in person, but please repair
108
00:04:27,377 --> 00:04:29,446
"to the drawing room,
where I have left
109
00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:32,115
a more personal message
for you."
110
00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:34,484
-[button clicks]
-[Perdita] Well, hello,
111
00:04:34,517 --> 00:04:37,154
my darling guests,
and also greetings.
112
00:04:37,187 --> 00:04:40,290
I beg you,
please excuse my absence,
113
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,326
-but something has come up...
-What?
114
00:04:42,359 --> 00:04:45,429
[Perdita] ...and I won't be
joining you this weekend.
115
00:04:45,462 --> 00:04:47,597
-Shit.
-But please, do enjoy
116
00:04:47,630 --> 00:04:49,433
all the amenities
117
00:04:49,466 --> 00:04:51,234
my home has to offer--
118
00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:52,836
the fencing gymnasium,
119
00:04:52,869 --> 00:04:54,671
the hunting grounds,
the historic bell tower...
120
00:04:54,704 --> 00:04:57,274
Is it me or is this chick
hella boring?
121
00:04:57,307 --> 00:04:59,576
[Perdita] ...and of course,
the board games room.
122
00:04:59,609 --> 00:05:01,845
-[Colin groans]
-But be warned--
123
00:05:01,878 --> 00:05:04,815
Morrigan Manor can be
a treacherous place.
124
00:05:04,848 --> 00:05:07,684
-[clock chiming]
-You must all watch out
for one another,
125
00:05:07,717 --> 00:05:09,219
and take care of each other.
126
00:05:09,252 --> 00:05:10,687
-Yeah.
-[Perdita] You must operate
127
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,256
as the family that you are,
128
00:05:13,289 --> 00:05:15,792
-not as six individuals...
-Six?
129
00:05:15,825 --> 00:05:17,427
[Perdita] ...who only
look out for themselves.
130
00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:19,196
-Ah.
-[Perdita] So, good luck
131
00:05:19,229 --> 00:05:21,398
and ciao-ciao for now.
132
00:05:21,431 --> 00:05:23,166
[Nadja]
What a big fat bummer.
133
00:05:23,199 --> 00:05:26,703
But she is known for her
extremely busy social schedule.
134
00:05:26,736 --> 00:05:28,538
Is anyone concerned about
that last part?
135
00:05:28,571 --> 00:05:31,174
About Morrigan Manor being
treacherous?
136
00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:32,743
Not in the slightest.
However...
137
00:05:32,776 --> 00:05:35,545
sunrise is approaching.
Perhaps we should slumber
138
00:05:35,578 --> 00:05:37,180
-and worry about it later.
-[yawns]
139
00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:38,815
-Good?
-Now you're talking.
-[yawning]
140
00:05:38,848 --> 00:05:42,252
-Except for the luggage.
-[Nadja] Good night.
141
00:05:42,285 --> 00:05:45,222
I was kind of hoping you'd
get it unloaded and unpacked,
142
00:05:45,255 --> 00:05:47,257
if you don't mind. ASAP.
143
00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:49,826
-Thank you.
-I should probably get
my paintings from the car.
144
00:05:49,859 --> 00:05:52,095
That's okay.
I can grab them for you.
145
00:05:52,128 --> 00:05:54,097
Thank you, Guillermo.
You're so kind.
146
00:05:54,130 --> 00:05:56,400
[thunder rumbles]
147
00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,402
♪ ♪
148
00:05:58,435 --> 00:06:00,470
[crickets chirping]
149
00:06:04,641 --> 00:06:06,810
[Laszlo]
My first thought was to "parry."
150
00:06:06,843 --> 00:06:08,478
My second intention,
to "riposte."
151
00:06:08,511 --> 00:06:10,113
It's just my "point-in-line."
152
00:06:10,146 --> 00:06:12,783
That's fencing humor.
You'll get used to it.
153
00:06:12,816 --> 00:06:17,354
-Ah, I see you're enjoying
the gymnasium, mm?
-Yes.
154
00:06:17,387 --> 00:06:19,556
-What a well-appointed one
it is at that.
-Indeed.
155
00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:22,125
Care to go a few rounds,
my friend?
156
00:06:24,527 --> 00:06:25,762
En garde!
157
00:06:31,701 --> 00:06:33,603
Whew!
158
00:06:33,636 --> 00:06:35,172
What's wrong?
159
00:06:35,205 --> 00:06:36,840
Afraid of a little
friendly competition?
160
00:06:36,873 --> 00:06:39,242
No. I prefer to practice
on my dummy.
161
00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:40,777
Oh. Are you sure?
162
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:41,845
Quite sure.
163
00:06:41,878 --> 00:06:44,114
Okay. Um...
164
00:06:44,147 --> 00:06:46,616
-All right. Have fun.
-Ta-ta.
165
00:06:48,151 --> 00:06:50,120
♪ ♪
166
00:06:50,153 --> 00:06:51,688
Where did you come from?
167
00:06:53,256 --> 00:06:56,326
Well, I see sportsmanship
is not your forte.
168
00:06:56,359 --> 00:06:58,662
You need to be taught a lesson.
169
00:06:58,695 --> 00:07:00,731
And then there were two.
170
00:07:00,764 --> 00:07:03,300
Well, I've always been partial
to a threesome.
171
00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:05,234
Shall we dance?
172
00:07:07,537 --> 00:07:11,308
Hey, Laszlo, I thought you
didn't want a fencing partner.
173
00:07:11,341 --> 00:07:15,145
[Laszlo]
Sorry, can't talk right now.
I have my hands full.
174
00:07:15,178 --> 00:07:16,546
Here, you forgot this.
175
00:07:16,579 --> 00:07:18,815
And you're certain
you don't need my help?
176
00:07:18,848 --> 00:07:20,484
No, I'm in the zone
with these chaps.
177
00:07:20,517 --> 00:07:22,519
-[Guide sighs]
-[Laszlo] Now, where were we?
178
00:07:22,552 --> 00:07:23,520
Ah, yes.
179
00:07:23,553 --> 00:07:25,455
En garde!
180
00:07:26,690 --> 00:07:27,757
Take that!
181
00:07:29,292 --> 00:07:30,527
And that. Ha!
182
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,163
And... that.
183
00:07:33,196 --> 00:07:35,198
Like that, do you?
184
00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:38,134
Ménage à quatre.
Why not?
185
00:07:40,904 --> 00:07:42,539
Oh-ho!
186
00:07:42,572 --> 00:07:43,573
[fencer groans]
187
00:07:44,374 --> 00:07:46,643
[Laszlo]
A bit of the rope-a-dope!
To here.
188
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:48,378
Come on, chaps,
this is too easy.
189
00:07:48,411 --> 00:07:49,746
Ha ha!
190
00:07:50,714 --> 00:07:53,216
Is that all you've got?
191
00:07:53,249 --> 00:07:54,651
You what?
192
00:07:54,684 --> 00:07:57,254
Well, I suppose this gives you
193
00:07:57,287 --> 00:08:00,624
what we gentlemen call
a sporting chance.
194
00:08:00,657 --> 00:08:02,225
Watch your fingers.
195
00:08:02,258 --> 00:08:03,459
I learned that in Germany.
196
00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:06,763
That, in Afghanistan.
197
00:08:06,796 --> 00:08:08,098
[Laszlo laughs]
198
00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:10,233
[grunting]
199
00:08:12,702 --> 00:08:14,438
-[fencer grunts]
-[Laszlo] Oh, yes.
200
00:08:14,471 --> 00:08:16,706
Lovely.
201
00:08:19,642 --> 00:08:21,578
[all grunting]
202
00:08:21,611 --> 00:08:23,379
-[fencers groaning]
-[Laszlo laughs]
203
00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:27,684
♪ ♪
204
00:08:32,722 --> 00:08:35,358
-Oh, shit.
-[fencers shout]
205
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,568
So...
206
00:08:44,601 --> 00:08:49,406
the horsies can go up two
and over one?
207
00:08:49,439 --> 00:08:50,807
I don't know
how to play this shit.
208
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,310
I thought you'd know
how to play this shit.
209
00:08:53,343 --> 00:08:54,711
-Mm, that's fun.
-[shrieks]
-Eesh!
210
00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:56,780
Shades of Bacchus.
211
00:08:56,813 --> 00:08:59,383
Guess what? We got another
message from our hostess.
212
00:08:59,416 --> 00:09:02,319
"My staff has prepared
a traditional hunt
213
00:09:02,352 --> 00:09:05,656
for all of you
shortly after moonrise."
214
00:09:05,689 --> 00:09:07,424
-Ooh.
-"In the meantime,
215
00:09:07,457 --> 00:09:10,193
"please enjoy this art show
216
00:09:10,226 --> 00:09:13,563
of recent oil paintings."
-[laughs]
217
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,832
-Perdita wrote that?
-[Guide] Well,
218
00:09:15,865 --> 00:09:17,868
I added that last bit.
219
00:09:17,901 --> 00:09:20,537
-But I do think
you will love these.
-[Colin] No, I won't...
220
00:09:20,570 --> 00:09:23,573
because I have never worn
those glasses in my life.
221
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,543
[Nadja]
Has anyone seen Laszlo?
I can't find him anywhere.
222
00:09:26,576 --> 00:09:28,779
-And it's really not like him.
-[Colin] Oh...
223
00:09:28,812 --> 00:09:31,248
-Laszlo's missing, eh?
-Yeah.
224
00:09:31,281 --> 00:09:33,550
Mm, the game is afoot.
225
00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:37,788
You know, this house does have
a belfry filled with local bats.
226
00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:39,323
Maybe Laszlo went up there.
227
00:09:39,356 --> 00:09:42,392
Oh, so like my darling
perverted husband,
228
00:09:42,425 --> 00:09:44,328
to sniff out the local bordello
229
00:09:44,361 --> 00:09:46,196
immediately upon arrival.
[chuckles]
230
00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:47,698
Could you take me to the belfry?
231
00:09:47,731 --> 00:09:50,734
Of course I can.
And also, before we go,
232
00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:53,737
-would you like to take in?
-Uh, you know?
233
00:09:53,770 --> 00:09:55,706
I saw some art last year.
So I'm good.
234
00:09:55,739 --> 00:09:57,407
-This way?
-Okay.
235
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,344
-Your move.
-Yes.
236
00:10:00,377 --> 00:10:02,446
-Two at once.
-[exhaling softly]
237
00:10:02,479 --> 00:10:04,147
Inspired.
238
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:07,851
This is the belfry,
and where there's a belfry,
239
00:10:07,884 --> 00:10:09,553
-there's bound to be--
-Bats.
240
00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,688
Yes, that is so like my Laszlo.
241
00:10:11,721 --> 00:10:14,324
Laszlo is so lucky to have
someone like you.
242
00:10:14,357 --> 00:10:16,126
-[stairs creaking]
-Someone who cares about him
243
00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:18,395
and worries about
his well-being.
244
00:10:18,428 --> 00:10:20,564
Well, yes, Laszlo is not
just my husband,
245
00:10:20,597 --> 00:10:24,534
or my number one fuckbuddy,
but he is also my best friend.
246
00:10:24,567 --> 00:10:25,535
Must be nice.
247
00:10:25,568 --> 00:10:27,270
Laszlo, you little pervert,
248
00:10:27,303 --> 00:10:29,139
-here I come.
-[thudding]
249
00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:30,407
[both scream]
250
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,209
What the fuck
is behind that door?
251
00:10:32,242 --> 00:10:34,378
Let me go first,
to keep you safe.
252
00:10:34,411 --> 00:10:35,612
[Nadja] Be careful.
253
00:10:37,414 --> 00:10:40,417
[shouts, screams]
254
00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:41,718
Nadja, help!
255
00:10:41,751 --> 00:10:43,553
-Yes, I'm coming.
-Help!
256
00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:45,689
Here I come.
I'm coming to he--
257
00:10:45,722 --> 00:10:47,523
-[floorboards crashing]
-[Nadja screams]
258
00:10:48,558 --> 00:10:49,660
[pants]
259
00:10:49,693 --> 00:10:51,694
[laughing]
260
00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,332
It was just my eyes
playing tricks on me.
261
00:10:55,365 --> 00:10:56,533
It's nothing.
262
00:10:56,566 --> 00:10:57,668
[groans]
263
00:10:57,701 --> 00:10:59,469
Nadja, come back up!
264
00:10:59,502 --> 00:11:01,504
Let's look for Laszl-- oh.
265
00:11:03,173 --> 00:11:04,675
Oh, no.
266
00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:06,476
-[horn playing]
-[Nandor] Hurry, Guillermo.
267
00:11:06,509 --> 00:11:07,711
That horn signifies
268
00:11:07,744 --> 00:11:09,246
the release of the humans.
269
00:11:09,279 --> 00:11:11,515
They're getting
a head start on us.
270
00:11:11,548 --> 00:11:13,383
They must be college athletes.
271
00:11:13,416 --> 00:11:16,219
-The most challenging prey.
-[shouts]
272
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:18,588
Did you catch their scent?
273
00:11:18,621 --> 00:11:19,790
-What?
-Lead me.
274
00:11:19,823 --> 00:11:21,391
No. I'm not a bloodhound.
275
00:11:21,424 --> 00:11:24,461
Here. You can catch
their scent from this.
276
00:11:24,494 --> 00:11:26,263
No, I'm not gonna touch that.
277
00:11:26,296 --> 00:11:28,265
Just get your muzzle in there
and get a nice big whiff.
278
00:11:28,298 --> 00:11:29,533
-No.
-You can track them with this.
279
00:11:29,566 --> 00:11:30,534
You know what?
How about this?
280
00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,135
You wait here,
281
00:11:32,168 --> 00:11:33,804
and I'm gonna go
and you wait for my signal.
282
00:11:33,837 --> 00:11:35,539
-Okay?
-Signal?
283
00:11:35,572 --> 00:11:37,407
Yeah. You wait for it, okay?
284
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,276
-[Nandor] What's the signal?
-[Guillermo] You'll see!
285
00:11:39,309 --> 00:11:40,811
[Nandor]
Look at him go.
286
00:11:40,844 --> 00:11:44,114
Guy like that catches a whiff
of something musky,
287
00:11:44,147 --> 00:11:46,783
he absolutely will not stop.
288
00:11:46,816 --> 00:11:48,385
-[indistinct chatter over phone]
-Oh, yeah.
289
00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:50,687
I just ran into the woods
and then circled back in
290
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,189
when Nandor wasn't looking.
291
00:11:52,222 --> 00:11:56,693
[whistling tune]
292
00:11:57,761 --> 00:12:00,130
The key to hunting humans
293
00:12:00,163 --> 00:12:02,466
is to divide and then crush.
294
00:12:02,499 --> 00:12:06,169
If the humans begin
operating in a pack,
295
00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:08,171
they can be very formidable.
296
00:12:08,204 --> 00:12:10,173
But they're usually
too dumb for that
297
00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:11,875
and end up just scattering.
298
00:12:11,908 --> 00:12:13,276
[distant dog barking]
299
00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:14,578
-Guillermo?
-[dog barks]
300
00:12:14,611 --> 00:12:16,380
-What have you found?
-[dog barks]
301
00:12:16,413 --> 00:12:18,148
What a good boy!
302
00:12:18,181 --> 00:12:20,183
I just don't have the heart to,
like, hunt humans.
303
00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:21,451
Yet.
304
00:12:21,484 --> 00:12:23,253
I know I'll have to do it
eventually,
305
00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:25,689
but... I'm just not feeling it.
306
00:12:25,722 --> 00:12:27,691
Guillermo!
307
00:12:27,724 --> 00:12:28,859
Here, boy.
[smooching]
308
00:12:28,892 --> 00:12:30,394
[Guide groaning]
309
00:12:30,427 --> 00:12:33,130
-What the fuck?
-I'm not going to lie.
310
00:12:33,163 --> 00:12:35,399
This is as bad as it looks.
311
00:12:35,432 --> 00:12:36,867
[Nandor]
It looks pretty bad.
312
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:39,403
What are you even doing
all the way out here?
313
00:12:39,436 --> 00:12:40,671
I was looking for you.
314
00:12:40,704 --> 00:12:42,739
Nadja and Laszlo have
disappeared.
315
00:12:42,772 --> 00:12:45,142
You're worrying about nothing.
It's fine.
316
00:12:45,175 --> 00:12:46,543
Okay, let me find a stick,
317
00:12:46,576 --> 00:12:48,512
and I will pry your leg
from the trap.
318
00:12:48,545 --> 00:12:50,714
-A stick, stick, stick,
stick, stick.
-Oh, no.
319
00:12:50,747 --> 00:12:53,183
-What?
-They're coming.
320
00:12:53,216 --> 00:12:54,518
[whimpers]
321
00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:57,120
And they seem to be
working as a team.
322
00:12:57,153 --> 00:12:59,656
Nandor, if you must
leave me behind...
323
00:12:59,689 --> 00:13:00,791
-I must. See you.
-Oh.
324
00:13:00,824 --> 00:13:02,292
Bye.
325
00:13:02,325 --> 00:13:05,429
Guillermo!
I am in need of your help!
326
00:13:05,462 --> 00:13:07,664
Guillermo-- oh!
[shouting]
327
00:13:07,697 --> 00:13:09,666
♪ ♪
328
00:13:09,699 --> 00:13:11,735
-Where is everyone?
-Mm.
329
00:13:11,768 --> 00:13:13,837
An intriguing question.
330
00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:19,476
But perhaps one I should be
asking you, no, monsieur?
331
00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:20,677
What are you talking about?
332
00:13:22,712 --> 00:13:24,848
Quite the "predict-ament"
333
00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:27,517
we find ourselves in
here tonight,
334
00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:29,286
no, Guillermo?
335
00:13:29,319 --> 00:13:33,156
Not a soul in sight.
Just you and me.
336
00:13:33,189 --> 00:13:35,758
"And then there were two."
337
00:13:36,526 --> 00:13:39,262
Again, what are you
talking about?
338
00:13:39,295 --> 00:13:41,531
I know it was you, Guillermo.
339
00:13:41,564 --> 00:13:44,534
I know it was you
who lured us all here
340
00:13:44,567 --> 00:13:46,169
under false pretenses.
341
00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:48,538
And it's you who's making
everyone disappear
342
00:13:48,571 --> 00:13:52,142
-one by one.
-What?
343
00:13:52,175 --> 00:13:54,111
That's bananas.
Why would I even do that?
344
00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:56,847
Because you know that Nandor is
eventually gonna find out
345
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,383
that you went and got yourself
turned into a vampire
346
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,518
-by someone other than him.
-Okay.
347
00:14:01,551 --> 00:14:03,253
So, then why not just
kill Nandor?
348
00:14:03,286 --> 00:14:04,388
Why kill everyone else?
349
00:14:04,421 --> 00:14:06,823
Uh...
350
00:14:06,856 --> 00:14:08,325
Um, because...
351
00:14:08,358 --> 00:14:09,793
we all know your secret.
352
00:14:09,826 --> 00:14:12,262
Okay, so then I kill everyone
353
00:14:12,295 --> 00:14:14,831
because I want to
keep the secret from Nandor,
354
00:14:14,864 --> 00:14:17,134
but then I still
kill Nandor, too?
355
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:19,235
♪ ♪
356
00:14:20,737 --> 00:14:21,738
Huh.
357
00:14:21,771 --> 00:14:23,674
Well, maybe I missed a clue.
358
00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:26,810
[stammers] Is it something
where the last person alive
359
00:14:26,843 --> 00:14:28,512
inherits the house?
360
00:14:28,545 --> 00:14:30,547
-No.
-Yeah, well, even
when I was saying that,
361
00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:31,782
that didn't really make sense.
362
00:14:31,815 --> 00:14:34,518
-[door opens]
-[groaning]
363
00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:35,786
Zut alors!
364
00:14:35,819 --> 00:14:37,821
-What happened?
-Now Nandor is gone.
365
00:14:37,854 --> 00:14:41,525
I was caught in a trap and
I told him to leave me behind.
366
00:14:41,558 --> 00:14:44,261
And he did.
Like, really quickly.
367
00:14:44,294 --> 00:14:46,129
Like you would think
he would say,
368
00:14:46,162 --> 00:14:47,864
"No, I'm not going to
leave you behind,"
369
00:14:47,897 --> 00:14:50,534
just to be nice,
but he took off.
370
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:53,203
And then he got swooped up
into the trees
371
00:14:53,236 --> 00:14:54,404
and I couldn't find him.
372
00:14:54,437 --> 00:14:56,473
And then there were three.
373
00:14:56,506 --> 00:14:57,841
[Guillermo]
Can I take a look?
374
00:14:57,874 --> 00:15:00,177
It's all right, Guillermo.
I'm a vampire.
375
00:15:00,210 --> 00:15:02,379
-It'll heal by tomorrow.
-You sure?
376
00:15:02,412 --> 00:15:04,181
-Does it hurt?
-[Guide] Not much.
377
00:15:04,214 --> 00:15:05,782
Let's at least level it up,
see what we're dealing with.
378
00:15:05,815 --> 00:15:06,783
-Careful. Careful.
-All right.
379
00:15:06,816 --> 00:15:07,784
-[leg cracks]
-[shouts]
380
00:15:07,817 --> 00:15:09,152
That's a lot of blood.
381
00:15:09,185 --> 00:15:10,654
[Guide]
Thank you for caring.
382
00:15:10,687 --> 00:15:13,557
You know, a small act of
kindness can mean so much.
383
00:15:13,590 --> 00:15:16,426
And every day, we're given
so many opportunities
384
00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:18,161
to be kind to someone else.
385
00:15:18,194 --> 00:15:20,197
You know, to make them
feel included,
386
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:22,666
to make them feel like
they're part of the old gang.
387
00:15:22,699 --> 00:15:24,601
Doesn't seem like much to ask.
388
00:15:24,634 --> 00:15:26,570
But for some people, I guess
389
00:15:26,603 --> 00:15:28,805
it's just something
they won't do,
390
00:15:28,838 --> 00:15:30,440
even though they should know
391
00:15:30,473 --> 00:15:32,809
it would mean the world
to some other people.
392
00:15:32,842 --> 00:15:35,679
Do you know
what it's like to know
393
00:15:35,712 --> 00:15:39,783
there's a whole group of buddies
and no matter what you do,
394
00:15:39,816 --> 00:15:42,786
they will never see you
as part of that group?
395
00:15:42,819 --> 00:15:44,454
I do.
396
00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:46,323
For all those years,
I was just a familiar.
397
00:15:46,356 --> 00:15:47,691
-I always felt like I--
-I'm sorry, Guillermo.
398
00:15:47,724 --> 00:15:50,560
I wasn't asking you.
I was asking him.
399
00:15:50,593 --> 00:15:52,562
Ah.
400
00:15:52,595 --> 00:15:54,665
The Celtics won. Noice.
401
00:15:54,698 --> 00:15:56,600
-Colin.
-Yeah.
402
00:15:56,633 --> 00:15:59,403
What?
Were you saying something?
403
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,304
Oh, fuck it.
These can't all be clever.
404
00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:04,675
-[screams]
-[Guillermo gasps]
405
00:16:04,708 --> 00:16:06,709
-[scream fading]
-[thunder rumbling]
406
00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:14,518
-[quietly] This way.
-[Nandor
407
00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:16,320
-[gasps]
-[Guillermo] What the hell?
408
00:16:16,353 --> 00:16:18,522
Finally. Quickly.
409
00:16:18,555 --> 00:16:20,791
Someone or something has
imprisoned all of us.
410
00:16:20,824 --> 00:16:23,527
[Laszlo]
No, you fucking doughnut.
It's her that did it.
411
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,529
-[laughs] Guilty as charged.
-[Nandor] What?
412
00:16:25,562 --> 00:16:27,130
-[hisses]
-[Guide] Tee-hee.
413
00:16:27,163 --> 00:16:29,132
[laughs] And I see
you're all taking nicely
414
00:16:29,165 --> 00:16:30,600
to your new homes, yes?
415
00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:32,336
Solid silver.
416
00:16:32,369 --> 00:16:33,804
-[sizzles]
-Ay, fucking silver.
417
00:16:33,837 --> 00:16:35,639
[Guide]
Careful.
418
00:16:35,672 --> 00:16:38,408
Well, I'm immune to silver,
so good luck keeping me in.
419
00:16:38,441 --> 00:16:40,677
-Oh, do you have the key?
-Touché.
420
00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,647
What is this despicable torture
that you have concocted?
421
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,617
But I like to think of it
as a lesson, really.
422
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:47,784
An education.
423
00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:49,486
Did Perdita put you up to this?
424
00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:51,655
[laughing]
Perdita?
425
00:16:51,688 --> 00:16:52,856
You mean...
426
00:16:52,889 --> 00:16:54,324
[Perdita's voice]
Morrigan Manor
427
00:16:54,357 --> 00:16:55,592
-can be a treacherous place...
-[gasps]
428
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:57,494
[normal voice]
...et cetera, et cetera?
429
00:16:57,527 --> 00:16:59,596
-You mean that Perdita?
-[Nadja] Witch.
430
00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:01,598
-[Laszlo] Well done.
-It was me the whole time.
431
00:17:01,631 --> 00:17:03,100
Yeah, no doy.
432
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:05,335
I-I knew when you shot me
from my chair.
433
00:17:05,368 --> 00:17:07,671
-[Guide] Good.
-Quite a glass onion.
434
00:17:07,704 --> 00:17:09,239
[Nandor] [quietly]
I think Perdita Morrigan
435
00:17:09,272 --> 00:17:11,475
is pretending to be The Guide.
436
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,143
No, you fucking idiot.
437
00:17:13,176 --> 00:17:15,445
She just said that it was her
that was doing it.
438
00:17:15,478 --> 00:17:17,314
-Who?
-[Nadja] Fucking hell.
439
00:17:17,347 --> 00:17:18,715
-Let me just say this slowly.
-[Laszlo] I wouldn't bother.
440
00:17:18,748 --> 00:17:19,716
-I'd just carry on.
-[Guide] Should I not?
441
00:17:19,749 --> 00:17:21,251
-No.
-[Colin] Yeah.
442
00:17:21,284 --> 00:17:22,486
I know that Perdita spends
the offseason
443
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,321
at her chalet in Gstaad,
444
00:17:24,354 --> 00:17:26,123
and that her mansion
would be empty.
445
00:17:26,156 --> 00:17:28,258
And the perfect place
to teach you all
446
00:17:28,291 --> 00:17:30,260
a valuable lesson
447
00:17:30,293 --> 00:17:32,763
about the importance
of being nice to people
448
00:17:32,796 --> 00:17:35,365
who maybe aren't part
of your core group
449
00:17:35,398 --> 00:17:37,334
but who have done a lot
of nice things for you
450
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:39,536
and yet you still
treat them like shit.
451
00:17:39,569 --> 00:17:41,872
[Nadja]
Wait, you did all of this
452
00:17:41,905 --> 00:17:43,540
instead of just asking us
453
00:17:43,573 --> 00:17:45,676
to have a short conversation
about your feelings?
454
00:17:45,709 --> 00:17:48,512
-Yeah, I guess I did. [chuckles]
-Okay, I think
you taught them a lesson,
455
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,314
-so now we just get them...
[groans]
-No, Guillermo.
456
00:17:50,347 --> 00:17:52,349
My lesson has but only begun.
457
00:17:52,382 --> 00:17:53,850
You will each
458
00:17:53,883 --> 00:17:57,120
spend the rest
of your eternal lives here.
459
00:17:57,153 --> 00:18:01,124
Close to each other
yet kept at a distance.
460
00:18:01,157 --> 00:18:05,495
So you will know how you have
made me feel this whole time.
461
00:18:05,528 --> 00:18:07,397
Always on the outside.
462
00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:09,466
And every time
I try to get close,
463
00:18:09,499 --> 00:18:11,601
-I get burned.
-[Nadja] I thought
464
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:13,403
you really liked us.
465
00:18:13,436 --> 00:18:14,404
I did.
466
00:18:14,437 --> 00:18:16,139
Deeply and desperately.
467
00:18:16,172 --> 00:18:18,775
And all I wanted
was for you to like me.
468
00:18:18,808 --> 00:18:21,478
Instead, you treated me like...
469
00:18:21,511 --> 00:18:23,380
an afterthought.
470
00:18:23,413 --> 00:18:28,652
I have got absolutely no really
close female friends anymore.
471
00:18:28,685 --> 00:18:29,586
An annoyance.
472
00:18:29,619 --> 00:18:31,521
Oh, nice going, dipshit.
473
00:18:31,554 --> 00:18:33,123
A hanger-on.
474
00:18:33,156 --> 00:18:34,458
Stand over there
and just pretend not to listen.
475
00:18:34,491 --> 00:18:35,492
I can do that.
476
00:18:35,525 --> 00:18:36,660
An inconvenience.
477
00:18:36,693 --> 00:18:38,662
You did R-S-veep "yes."
478
00:18:38,695 --> 00:18:42,466
Sort of had to shuffle things
around at this late stage.
479
00:18:42,499 --> 00:18:45,602
So this is basically
a clip show now?
480
00:18:45,635 --> 00:18:46,870
Are we Golden Girls?
481
00:18:46,903 --> 00:18:48,338
You know, I'm starting to think
482
00:18:48,371 --> 00:18:50,807
that this might be
all of my fault.
483
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:54,244
This is the hex
that I have been cursed with.
484
00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:55,479
[Guide]
Oh,
485
00:18:55,512 --> 00:18:57,381
-my dear Mistress Nadja.
-[sniffles]
486
00:18:57,414 --> 00:18:59,449
-I have good news.
-Huh?
487
00:18:59,482 --> 00:19:01,184
There is no hex.
488
00:19:01,217 --> 00:19:03,086
There never was a hex.
489
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:04,388
-[gasping]
-I just made you think
490
00:19:04,421 --> 00:19:06,356
-there was a hex.
-What?
491
00:19:06,389 --> 00:19:07,658
-Witch!
-[Colin] Did not have that
492
00:19:07,691 --> 00:19:10,627
on my 2023 bingo card.
493
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,863
-Why?!
-So that I could try
to help you.
494
00:19:12,896 --> 00:19:15,866
-[Laszlo chuckles]
-So that you would, I don't
know, see me as a friend,
495
00:19:15,899 --> 00:19:17,868
treat me as a friend.
496
00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:20,137
I did say thank you
for your help with the hex.
497
00:19:20,170 --> 00:19:21,672
-Not once.
-I meant to?
498
00:19:21,705 --> 00:19:24,374
-You didn't.
-Thank you so much.
499
00:19:24,407 --> 00:19:25,509
-Too late!
-[groans]
500
00:19:25,542 --> 00:19:27,110
Even to the bitter end,
501
00:19:27,143 --> 00:19:28,779
hoping against hope,
502
00:19:28,812 --> 00:19:32,249
I gave each of you
one last chance to show me
503
00:19:32,282 --> 00:19:35,252
the smallest amount of kindness.
504
00:19:35,285 --> 00:19:36,787
And even that was beyond you!
505
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:40,190
-[hisses]
-No one told us
it was a fucking test.
506
00:19:40,223 --> 00:19:42,392
-W-Wait, why isn't Gumball
in here with us?
-[Laszlo chuckles]
507
00:19:42,425 --> 00:19:45,395
Because Guillermo is
the only one out of all of you
508
00:19:45,428 --> 00:19:47,531
that has ever shown me
any kindness.
509
00:19:47,564 --> 00:19:49,399
-[coughs] Brownnoser.
-And yet you all
510
00:19:49,432 --> 00:19:51,368
treat him so shabbily
511
00:19:51,401 --> 00:19:54,271
that even after all this time
of waiting to become
512
00:19:54,304 --> 00:19:55,472
one of you...
513
00:19:55,505 --> 00:19:56,807
he's forced to give up
514
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,108
and take matters
into his own hands.
515
00:19:59,909 --> 00:20:02,112
Sorry, what?
516
00:20:02,145 --> 00:20:03,447
-[sighs]
-Well, I think, y-you know,
517
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,215
I don't think
they mean to exclude you.
518
00:20:05,248 --> 00:20:06,450
-Guillermo,
do not stick up for them.
-I'm not--
519
00:20:06,483 --> 00:20:07,718
[Nandor]
Circling back to "taking matters
520
00:20:07,751 --> 00:20:09,386
into his own hands..."
521
00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:11,488
Well, I don't think that's
the point. The point is,
522
00:20:11,521 --> 00:20:12,756
-those paintings
are very important.
-Well, it kind of is the point.
523
00:20:12,789 --> 00:20:14,257
Is anyone else curious
about this?
524
00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:15,325
Laszlo?
525
00:20:15,358 --> 00:20:16,727
Nadja? Curiosity there at all?
526
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,462
I-I like this cage.
527
00:20:18,495 --> 00:20:20,631
-Colin Robinson? Any...
-No, sir.
528
00:20:20,664 --> 00:20:22,366
[Nandor]
Okay, you know,
it kind of feels like
529
00:20:22,399 --> 00:20:24,768
there's something going on
and everyone knows
530
00:20:24,801 --> 00:20:26,670
what it is except me.
531
00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:28,105
-[Nadja sputters]
-Awkward.
532
00:20:28,138 --> 00:20:30,674
[thunder rumbling]
533
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,242
Master.
534
00:20:32,275 --> 00:20:33,743
Yes?
535
00:20:34,678 --> 00:20:36,179
I, uh...
536
00:20:36,212 --> 00:20:37,314
Spit it out.
537
00:20:37,347 --> 00:20:39,449
I made a-a big mistake.
538
00:20:39,482 --> 00:20:42,586
And I didn't want to tell you
because I didn't want to hurt...
539
00:20:42,619 --> 00:20:44,121
you.
540
00:20:44,154 --> 00:20:45,856
-[Laszlo mouths]
-I had someone else turn me
541
00:20:45,889 --> 00:20:47,524
into a vampire.
542
00:20:47,557 --> 00:20:49,326
I-I asked them to do it.
543
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:50,460
[Laszlo] [whispers]
Oh, fuck.
544
00:20:50,493 --> 00:20:52,495
♪ ♪
545
00:20:56,566 --> 00:20:58,101
You asked...
546
00:20:58,902 --> 00:21:00,603
...someone else?
547
00:21:01,571 --> 00:21:04,707
A vampire who was not me?
548
00:21:05,775 --> 00:21:08,178
I felt like I had
no other choice.
549
00:21:08,211 --> 00:21:09,446
You could have asked me.
550
00:21:09,479 --> 00:21:11,248
Are you fucking kidding me?
551
00:21:11,281 --> 00:21:13,750
I asked you repeatedly
for 13 years.
552
00:21:13,783 --> 00:21:16,520
Yes, and I was gonna get round
to it.
553
00:21:16,553 --> 00:21:18,455
I've had a lot on my plate
at the moment!
554
00:21:18,488 --> 00:21:20,123
[thunder rumbling]
555
00:21:20,156 --> 00:21:21,191
-Who?
-What?
556
00:21:21,224 --> 00:21:22,392
Who was it?
557
00:21:22,425 --> 00:21:24,127
I don't think that's
really relevant.
558
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,729
-It's relevant to me.
-It's just, what's done is done.
559
00:21:25,762 --> 00:21:27,096
-Guillermo!
-Derek.
560
00:21:28,365 --> 00:21:29,866
Okay.
561
00:21:29,899 --> 00:21:31,868
Well, thank you
for being honest with me.
562
00:21:31,901 --> 00:21:33,537
-Okay.
-I appreciate it.
563
00:21:33,570 --> 00:21:36,106
Now I'm going to be honest
with you.
564
00:21:36,139 --> 00:21:37,207
This is good.
565
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,408
I...
566
00:21:38,441 --> 00:21:39,543
am going...
567
00:21:39,576 --> 00:21:40,811
to kill you,
568
00:21:40,844 --> 00:21:42,346
Guillermo.
569
00:21:42,379 --> 00:21:44,114
And then quite possibly myself.
570
00:21:44,147 --> 00:21:45,449
[whispers]
It all depends
571
00:21:45,482 --> 00:21:47,084
on whether I'm still completely
572
00:21:47,117 --> 00:21:49,219
and utterly humiliated
573
00:21:49,252 --> 00:21:50,487
after I'm done killing you!
574
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,189
-[grunts, screams]
-[sizzling]
575
00:21:52,222 --> 00:21:54,257
[Laszlo] Whoa-whoa-whoa,
if it makes you feel any better,
576
00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:55,626
he's only a half-baked vampire.
577
00:21:55,659 --> 00:21:58,095
Yes, I know.
He has Van Helsing blood.
578
00:21:58,128 --> 00:21:59,796
His vampire-killer cells
579
00:21:59,829 --> 00:22:02,466
are fighting off his vampire
cells with all their might.
580
00:22:02,499 --> 00:22:06,136
-Okay. That's what's going on.
-Oh, shit.
581
00:22:06,169 --> 00:22:08,205
-Fuck.
-Another mystery solved.
582
00:22:08,238 --> 00:22:09,473
Well, you live and learn, right?
583
00:22:09,506 --> 00:22:10,807
[Colin, Nadja and Laszlo laugh]
584
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,110
Master,
if you would just let me talk--
585
00:22:13,143 --> 00:22:14,578
You're a dead man!
586
00:22:14,611 --> 00:22:16,813
[growls]
587
00:22:24,321 --> 00:22:26,089
Stay back there.
And in the meantime,
588
00:22:26,122 --> 00:22:28,292
where are the documentarians?
Behind me?
589
00:22:28,325 --> 00:22:29,660
There you are. I say,
590
00:22:29,693 --> 00:22:32,129
could you find the tapes
591
00:22:32,162 --> 00:22:36,466
from November the 21st, 2022?
592
00:22:38,301 --> 00:22:42,139
[Colin]
Yeah. I know she doesn't have,
like, a last name
593
00:22:42,172 --> 00:22:44,374
or a first name,
for that matter,
594
00:22:44,407 --> 00:22:47,778
but I-I just think
that The Guide is really nice.
595
00:22:47,811 --> 00:22:49,146
[Laszlo]
I'd say she's more than nice,
Colin Robinson.
596
00:22:49,179 --> 00:22:50,714
She has a tremendous wit
597
00:22:50,747 --> 00:22:52,683
and a fantastic backside.
598
00:22:52,716 --> 00:22:54,518
[Nadja]
That would usually make me
very jealous,
599
00:22:54,551 --> 00:22:56,820
if I didn't completely agree!
600
00:22:56,853 --> 00:22:59,623
And, you know,
she's also a very good listener.
601
00:22:59,656 --> 00:23:01,525
And once you get used
to that voice,
602
00:23:01,558 --> 00:23:04,227
she has some
very interesting things to say.
603
00:23:04,260 --> 00:23:06,330
[Nandor]
I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
604
00:23:06,363 --> 00:23:09,333
that the answer
might just be here under my nose
605
00:23:09,366 --> 00:23:10,634
the whole time.
606
00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,235
I think that's enough now, Ryan.
607
00:23:12,268 --> 00:23:13,470
You can turn that off.
She gets the point.
608
00:23:13,503 --> 00:23:15,172
-Oh.
-Thank you.
-[beep]
609
00:23:15,205 --> 00:23:16,840
That was so lovely.
610
00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:20,210
But how come none of you
ever said any of this to me?
611
00:23:20,243 --> 00:23:22,346
Because we're vampires,
612
00:23:22,379 --> 00:23:24,548
my squeaky-voiced,
613
00:23:24,581 --> 00:23:27,651
fucking berserk,
nutjob, idiot friend.
614
00:23:27,684 --> 00:23:31,388
And sometimes we're not too good
with the old niceties
615
00:23:31,421 --> 00:23:33,557
and kindness
towards those we care about.
616
00:23:33,590 --> 00:23:35,359
But our hearts...
617
00:23:35,392 --> 00:23:37,194
are full of love.
618
00:23:37,227 --> 00:23:39,362
[Nadja]
He's not wrong.
619
00:23:42,699 --> 00:23:44,201
I am so embarrassed.
620
00:23:44,234 --> 00:23:45,636
Oh!
621
00:23:45,669 --> 00:23:47,537
Don't sweat it, girly.
We all make mistakes.
622
00:23:47,570 --> 00:23:49,272
Now let-let me out now.
623
00:23:49,305 --> 00:23:50,607
-[chuckles] Okay.
-Come on.
-[Laszlo] Here we are.
624
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,509
Forgive and forget,
that's what I say.
625
00:23:52,542 --> 00:23:55,312
Now let me out of this cage
so I can kill Guillermo.
626
00:23:55,345 --> 00:23:57,214
[Guide]
Guess I kind of got in my head
627
00:23:57,247 --> 00:23:58,815
-a little bit. [laughing]
-Yes.
-[Lazlo] Yes,
628
00:23:58,848 --> 00:24:00,684
I think you did.
629
00:24:00,717 --> 00:24:02,519
-[squeaking]
-Ooh!
-[Laszlo] Fuck.
630
00:24:02,552 --> 00:24:03,787
I've never been able to do that.
631
00:24:03,820 --> 00:24:04,788
[Nandor]
Now you're just rubbing it in.
632
00:24:04,821 --> 00:24:06,589
Very Derek.
633
00:24:07,724 --> 00:24:09,693
Master,
if I let you out of this cage,
634
00:24:09,726 --> 00:24:11,294
do you promise not to kill me?
635
00:24:12,729 --> 00:24:14,197
I promise.
636
00:24:14,230 --> 00:24:15,499
You mean it?
637
00:24:15,532 --> 00:24:16,767
No!
638
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,368
-[keys jangle]
-What are you doing?
639
00:24:18,401 --> 00:24:19,670
I'm giving you a head start,
you knob lord.
640
00:24:19,703 --> 00:24:20,771
[Nandor]
Laszlo, let me out of this cage
641
00:24:20,804 --> 00:24:22,639
so I can kill Guillermo!
642
00:24:22,672 --> 00:24:23,807
Give me that key!
643
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:24,708
[Laszlo]
If I were you, I'd run.
644
00:24:24,741 --> 00:24:26,609
Run, boy, run!
645
00:24:27,410 --> 00:24:29,846
-[squeaking]
-[Nandor] Guillermo...!
646
00:24:29,879 --> 00:24:32,115
[sizzling]
647
00:24:33,416 --> 00:24:35,451
["Damnation Alley"
by Bitch playing]
648
00:24:42,625 --> 00:24:44,795
I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
649
00:24:44,828 --> 00:24:47,597
that the answer
might just be here under my nose
650
00:24:47,630 --> 00:24:49,299
-the whole time.
-[Nadja] I know.
651
00:24:49,332 --> 00:24:50,834
She also has such great style.
652
00:24:50,867 --> 00:24:52,836
All those blacks and grays.
653
00:24:52,869 --> 00:24:54,671
Oh, I see.
654
00:24:54,704 --> 00:24:57,341
I get it. You guys are...
655
00:24:57,374 --> 00:24:59,743
trying to get me
to hook up with her
656
00:24:59,776 --> 00:25:01,645
and so we become a couple
657
00:25:01,678 --> 00:25:04,848
and I eventually move out
and leave you guys alone.
658
00:25:04,881 --> 00:25:07,084
-I get it.
-What?
-LASZLO: What?
659
00:25:07,117 --> 00:25:09,186
-We would never do that.
-[blows raspberry]
-NADJA: Of course not!
660
00:25:09,219 --> 00:25:13,223
♪ Damnation, Damnation Alley ♪
661
00:25:13,256 --> 00:25:16,493
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley ♪
662
00:25:16,526 --> 00:25:18,161
♪ Yeah ♪
663
00:25:18,194 --> 00:25:19,396
♪ Damnation ♪
664
00:25:19,429 --> 00:25:22,232
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
665
00:25:22,265 --> 00:25:27,237
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley, yeah ♪
666
00:25:27,270 --> 00:25:28,438
♪ Damnation ♪
667
00:25:28,471 --> 00:25:31,642
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
668
00:25:31,675 --> 00:25:36,480
♪ You'll never get out of here
alive ♪
669
00:25:36,513 --> 00:25:37,648
♪ Damnation ♪
670
00:25:37,681 --> 00:25:40,550
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
671
00:25:40,583 --> 00:25:45,489
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley, yeah ♪
672
00:25:45,522 --> 00:25:46,823
♪ Damnation ♪
673
00:25:46,856 --> 00:25:49,359
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
674
00:25:49,392 --> 00:25:51,795
♪ You'll never get out of here ♪
675
00:25:51,828 --> 00:25:53,797
[echoing]
♪ Alive. ♪
676
00:25:53,830 --> 00:25:59,102
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
45757
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