All language subtitles for Succession.S01E08.eng

Who's this guy, Alon?

WOMAN: A very highly regarded
corporate therapist.

It'll be a very compelling
package.

A family reunited in the desert.

-Sandy Furness is here.
-He can't do that.

Pepsi doesn't just drop in
to see Coke.

How about you give me
four billion dollars?

I stay boss, you invest,
happy ending for all.

What I think we should
really have a conversation about

is the fact that
Kendall's not here,

and there are reports of him
running around taking drugs.

I had nothing to do
with those stories.

Do you believe your father?

No, I think
this whole thing is fake.

I genuinely believe
he's going to be

the next president
of the United States,

and Gil could really use
someone like you.

The question is,
do you want this enough

to go to war with your family?

It's rebellion. Sabotage.

You run towards politics to
prove that you're your own man.

-You're a fucking coward.
-Wow.

What up, motherfuckers?
What are we arguing about?

You're so fucking jealous

of what you've given
your own kids.

Calling your daughter a coward
'til she cries?

-Big man.
-Logan!

You are a fucking nobody.

( theme music plays )

It's a pretty great view, huh?

I mean, out there.
Not me.

Gerri:
Where are we at, Bob?

( wrapper crinkling )

Excuse me, I--
I'm actually not even here.

- You're at 5.3?
- Correct.

And I think

we can live with that.

Yeah?

Yeah.

- Uh-huh.
- Bob: It's a fair price.

Logan:
Well, I don't
know about that.

You'll have 70
local TV stations.

Buy in Sandy,
you're King Kong of local.

The kid knows.
The kid's smart.

Are we good?

Give us five minutes.

We'll set you up
with a room.

( no audible dialogue )

Good, right?
Is it whiskey time?

Shut the fuck up.

- Uh, it's a good price.
- What the fuck's going on?

He's selling me things I want
at a fair price?

So what's next?
Fellatio?

I think he just
wants out, fast.

If he does,
we fuck him.

I think we did
just fuck him.

He's smiling.

It's no good
if he's smiling.

Roman:
Well, objectively,

I mean, if we get
what we want

and he gets
what he wants--

You screw them out.

You chisel them out.

You fuckin' hurt them.

And then you
watch them squeal.

I like hurting human beings
as much as the next guy,

but, Dad, this is
really fucking good.

Walk him to the elevator
and tell him 4.9.

Oh, Dad, no, that's--
it's insulting.

Walk him to the elevator
and tell him 4.9.

Gerri, you do it.

You, fuck off.

If you can't do it,
fuck off!

All right.

Just text on your phone,
ya bendy fuck.

Greg:
Really just warms the walls.

- Greg.
- Hey.

- Ow! Dude.
- Yo. Whoa whoa.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Are you OK?

What? Oh, that?
That was nothing.

Sometimes you gotta
play possum, ya know?

Let him punch it out
till he gets tired,

and then you go in
for the kill.

Right, nice.
Listen, hold on.

- Yeah.
- How's Kendall doin'?

He's blowing you off too?

Last time I saw him
he was smoking crank
with some mole men,

but that was like a month ago.

- He's hustlin'.
- Yeah, right. VCing?

I may be seeing him
this weekend.
If he shows.

- Oh, yeah?
- Aw, fuck.

Dude, I don't suppose
you know a coke dealer
in Prague, do you?

Ah, probably. Yeah. Why?

Tom Wams' bachelor party.

"And if he doesn't show--"
I don't have time for this.

Hey, let me tell you something,
dude. Fuck Prague.

My girlfriend
and her fuckin' freak dogs

run these-- You ever heard
of these parties, Rhomboid?

Bullshit.

I'm tellin' ya.
I'm fuckin' cool.

You don't understand.

Why, because you have
a nipple ring

and simply will not stop
going on about it?

It's better than telling
everyone you're down with Dre

because he sends you
cereal bars at Christmas.

Fuck you. I have a reputation.

I can't take my crew
to watch some art pricks

dance around in bowler hats
and twizzle their mustaches

out of time to the beats.

Are you done? You know
who else will be there?

Sandy Furness.

Fuck off.

I'm tellin' you.

Bleahh. He goes
to that kind of thing?

I know, right?
But he is sitting

on the other half of
your dad's dream deal.

Packet of 50 more
local stations.

Come to the party,
get him to sell,

and trust me when I say this,

you will become
the number one son.

Sandy...goes? Jesus.

Yeah. Get me those names
and I'll get you on that list.

And one more thing:
bring Kendall, OK?

I need to patch things up
with him.

♪ Picture this,
I'm a bag of dicks ♪

♪ Put me to your lips,
I am sick ♪

♪ I will punch a baby bear
in his shit ♪

♪ Give me lip ♪

♪ I'ma send you to the yard,
get a stick ♪

♪ Make a switch, I can end
a conversation real quick ♪

♪ I am crack,
I ain't lyin'... ♪

Oh, fuck yeah.

♪ I'm the shit, I will
fall off in your crib ♪

♪ Take a shit... ♪

- What do you think?
- Yeah.

- ♪ Fuck your bitch ♪
- Yep.

♪ ...and took pictures
with your kids ♪

♪ We the best, we will cut
a frowny face in your chest ♪

♪ Little wench,
I'm unmentionably fresh ♪

Hey, bro, can you turn up
the bass in the back?

- ( volume increases )
- Louder.

♪ I am guilty, motherfuckers,
I am death ♪

- You feelin' good?
- What?

- You're good?
- Yeah, I'm great.

I'm psyched.

- Nice and loose, yeah, Frank?
- Yeah.

Try not to drag yourself
in there

like the world's
oldest man.

I'll try.

Ilhan:
Frank. Kendall.

- This is Dust.
- Hey, man.

Frank:
Hey. Great to connect.

Love the name, by the way.
Very... funky.

Sorry, please excuse
Captain fuckin' Be-Bop here.

Hey, how's it goin'?

Cool earrings.
Very Bauhaus.

Big fan of what
you guys do.

Fuckin' sweet
chili sauce.

Thanks.
Uh, likewise.

Angela, you want to
spin us through the pitch deck?

- Sure. So--
- Kendall: That's OK.

I don't need
to hear the pitch.

I've been through the deck,
and I get it.

Basically, you buy a painting
from some art student
in a basement,

jack up the price,
sell it to some
Morgan Stanley sex pest,

and you, me, and the student
all get rich. Right?

We're interested
in increasing the reach
of young artists.

And the democratization
of art.

Kendall:
No, absolutely.
I get it.

You're providing a platform
to marginalized talent,

the next generation
of artists.

I'm just telling you
how it works from the outside,
to the sharks.

Ilhan:
Maybe we can
talk about funding cycles.

Angela:
Sure.
We've worked out a plan

for the first year
after the launch--

I'm sorry.
Can I just say something?

Uh...

so, I-- I-- I--

I got these sneakers...

on the way down here
because, uh,

I thought-- I don't know
what I thought,

I thought you'd all
be dressed like
fuckin' Bjork,

and I wanted to, uh,
make an impression.

Um, so, I'm a jackass, um,

the truth is,
I don't know
anything about art.

What I do know
is how to monetize
your concept

and achieve the scale
it deserves.

Don't sell your soul
to some monolith.

We're boutique,
we're light on our feet,

we're not the Gang of Four,
we're the fuckin'
Rebel Alliance.

I'm a good guy,
who knows the bad guys,

I've got reach,
and I will fight for you
every fuckin' day.

I'm the asshole
who can be your Warhol.

And, uh... yeah,
I just thought of that,

so apparently I do know
a little bit about art.

So... what?

Talk to me.
What do I need to do?

Do I need to take off
my dopey sneakers?

- Kara: No.
- I will. Seriously,

I'll throw them
out the fuckin' window
right now.

- They're not bad.
- I'm taking 'em off.

- Here. Ilhan, have 'em.
- Ilhan: I'll trade you.

- Frank: Whoo!
- OK?

Can we talk now?

Greg:
Oh, shit.

Sh--

Sor-- Um, so,

what do you think-- Miss?

Uh, betw-- You know--

Sorry, I-- I'm--

I'm somewhat between the devil
and the deep blue sea here,

because my boss downstairs
is waiting,

and my boss upstairs is him,
you know,

so I've been here
three and a half hours.

What do you think?
What do you--

- Do you want--
- ( phone ringing )

Yes, sir.

I'll send him in.

Thank you.

( exhales )

At long last.

It's the wheel,
it's... doin' its thing.

Oh, yeah. It's buffering.

You could try
knocking it down to low--
low quality?

Hmm. Go ahead.

Yeah, just...

It's a... heckuva good
head of hair on ya there.

I think it's the maternal side
that it's carried on, so...

So I hear you and the boys

are heading out for
Tom's bachelor party.

Yes. That's correct.

Roman's arranging,
Prague has been mentioned.

Gil Eavis (on video):
I will tell you this much.

I believe Logan Roy
is a pernicious influence

on our culture.

He is, to be frank,

- Man, what-- a jack-- jackhole.
- a cancer to American values.

I don't take
these words lightly...

Yeah, well,
he just lost my vote.

( turns off video )

( sighs )

Uh, listen to me.

Um...
do me a favor.

Can you make sure that Kendall
doesn't come back in a box?

- OK.
- Yeah, I...

I don't want him
showing up dead

at the bottom of
some French fag's pool.

Oh, no, absolutely.
None of us do.

Keep an eye on him for me.

Is this something
you can do for me?

- Mm-hmm.
- I hear he's been, uh,

wetting his beak.

Yes, sir.

Um, in which case,

would now be a convenient time

to talk with you about,
like, a lateral shift

in terms of my position
at the company?

Because I'd like
to move on from Parks

and into, for example,
Digital?

I don't want to mention
any names, because I--

But the culture there,
it borders on the personally
abusive at times.

Tom?

Oh, Tom.

( laughs ) I didn't know
he had it in him.

He can be pretty able
in that department.

But what I'm doing, sir,
is I'm flagging to you

that I'm thirsty
for the next chapter.

Well, you take care
of this for me,
and perhaps we'll talk.

OK? Done? Are we done?

Muchly appreciated.

( whispers )
"Muchly"?

Time's up.

Time's up for the big
media operations that poison...

- Have you seen this?
- ATN spot.

I guess we do, right?

You're gonna stand there?

In my air space?

I'm re-reading it.

- For context.
- You're CCed.

Gil:
...the power
that one man wields.

We can't let these monopolistic
practices go unchecked

simply because we're too afraid

of the power
that one man wields.

Waystar Royco is a cancer
at the heart of America.

I can't believe
I'm getting paid
to call my dad names.

It's so cathartic.

Gil:
Logan Roy is out of control...

You really think
he should do ATN?

Yeah. Sure.
Into the lion's den.

He'll attack them,

righteous, Old Testament,
anti-capitalist Gil,

and they'll attack us,
"There's a Red in the bed,"

they get the viewers
and we get the base fired up.

No one's mind's getting changed,
then once we're through
the primaries,

- we pivot to center.
- Except Gil won't pivot.

- Gil: I say no!
- I'll get him to pivot.

I say no more!

( cheering, applause )

- Hello?
- Tom: Hey, Shiv, it's me!

- Shiv: Tom, sweetheart.
- So listen,

something's afoot,

because we've arrived
at the drop-off point

for my bachelor party.

Seems there's been
a change of plan,

and I'm pretty sure
I'm being pranked.

Greg:
What's happening, Roman?

Hold your tingling wiener.

All will be clear soon.

Connor:
I don't think you understand
how disruptive it is

to be changing the itinerary
at this late stage.

I don't know
what's gonna happen,

but I've got a feeling
it's liable to get
a little disgusting.

I don't think you're
supposed to be telling me this.

Tom:
I know, I just

wanted to flag it,
and, you know,

calm the qualms,
because I, for one,
would never--

Tom, it's one night,

we're both adults,

just enjoy yourself, OK?

Aw, Shiv, honey badger.

God, I want to dock myself
inside you

so much right now.

Yeah. OK.
I love you too, Tom.

Roman: OK.

Now he deigns to join us.

( music blaring in car )

- You're late.
- Kendall: Yeah, sorry.

I've been a little busy
revolutionizing
tech financing.

On coke.

Greg:
Hey, hope not. What up?

So, who wants
to fuck a hobo?

No? All right,

then let's party.
Down there.

Greg:
What-- No--

We're going to a party
in the tunnel?

OK. No, relax,
we're not going

to a party in a tunnel.

This is just a ruse.

What is this,
some pop-up shit?

Am I gonna need
my central Europe coat?

Romey, I'm wearing flight socks
and my TSA slippers.

I know what you're doing
right now, OK?

I'm being lured
into a tunnel

and then next thing,
I'm gonna wake up in Belgium

with no frickin' eyebrows!

Um, you probably want to dump
your luggage in the car.

Oh, shit. Um...

fellas.

Sorry, it's actually
a really tight guest list.

Tom:
Oh-- Roman.

- Yeah.
- It's Matt and Jonas.

If the Fly Guys aren't on the--
They flew in!

- Roman.
- Relax, OK?

We're gonna figure it out.
We're gonna first-wave it,

we'll call you
once we're inside, all right?

You know what?
Go get some coffees on me.

Thanks, we're good.
I can buy coffee.

All right, let's go!

Tom:
Oh, God!

I--

I can't just leave
the Fly Guys.

That's the Fly Guy code.

Uh, OK, just leave
your phones on,

- and I'll call ya.
- All right.

- Five minutes!
- It's on.

Oh-ho-ho, man!

Roman. What the fuck
have you got planned
for me, man?

- ( evil laugh )
- No, seriously,

what have you got planned?

Tom, Prague fell through,

and I was fuckin' busy,

and I didn't have time
to plan

the hot air balloon
to Monaco.

OK. Hot air balloon?

- Yeah.
- That would have been nice.

Greg:
Whoa, dude! Oh, my God,
that's a dead rat.

You guys, this is a disaster
on the footwear front.

Can I change?

It's a dead rat.
Who gives a shit?

Connor:
Yeah, fine, thank you,
just keep goin'.

- We'll be here.
- All right, see you over there.

Are you gonna be OK
around all the booze

and the coke and shit?

'Cause I can just make
sure no one does it
around you.

- I'll be fine.
- Yeah?

- Thanks, bro.
- Yeah. Of course.

Tom:
Wait up!

Jesus fuckin' Christ,
it's a dead rat. Relax.

I hear you're doin' apps.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

I'm incubating.

I'm rebalancing
away from crypto
into eco.

Sounds....
futuristico.

Yeah, it's good.

It's better than being
carried around in Dad's pockets

like fuckin' Stuart Little.

They're nice pockets.

Spacious.

How is he?

He's-- I mean,
you know.

Actually, he's...
he's got me overseeing

the satellite launch
out of Tanegashima.

Spaceship?

Yeah. Plus I'm heading up
the local deal.

Bob Galpin is selling

and, uh, I knocked it
out of the park,

which is nice.

Kendall:
Good for you, bro.

Yeah. Guess I finally
broke out of the cage.

Can't keep a good dog down,
right, Ken?

Abandon all hope
ye who enter.

Tom:
Ooh, is this real?
Is this a real corridor?

Are we goin' to an airfield?

Connor:
Hey, Greg, did I
tell you that Willa

- moved out to Austerlitz?
- Oh?

Yeah, she loves
how quiet it is.

She didn't think she would,
but she does.

So I for one
won't be engaging
in any debauchery.

Woman:
Roman Roy and guests?

Roman:
That is correct.

- Welcome to Rhomboid.
- Thank you.

Oh, yeah. Boys,
we're pouching our phones.

Tom:
Hey, wait! Is this it?

Is this actually where
I'm going to have
my bachelor party?

Greg:
Why is it so wet? I think
there's a big leak somewhere.

Connor:
I've been living on
central European time

for 48 hours
to ease the transition.

I'm gonna be ready
for breakfast soon.

I don't know if
this is the kind of party
with a lot of food.

Tom:
Roman, I'm sorry, is this where
I'm having my bachelor party?

Stewy:
Roman, how are you, man?

Ken. Long time.

Are we good?

You're my third-oldest friend.

You fucked me
like a tied goat.

- We're great.
- No, yeah,

you're goin' the right way.
Keep goin' straight.

- Kendall, I was gonna say.
- Yeah?

If you need anything tonight,

bottle of water,
soft drink,

whatever,
I'm gonna be your mule.

Actually, you know what?
I need something
a little off-menu.

See if you can
find me some ketamine.

I don't know
what that is.

Is Sandy here?
When do we sit?

Yeah, yeah,
all things in time.

Right here.

Sorry.

Oh, well. Now I'm sure
it's gonna be great.
Thanks, Roman.

What did you expect?
Why'd you even ask me, Tom?

Thought you'd rise
to the occasion.

Well, clearly
I haven't risen
to the occasion.

Gents, have a great
fuckin' night.

Stewy:
Dmitri, how are you?

Hey, Kendall.
I'll find you, all right?

( dance music playing )

OK. This is it.

Yeah? Cool, right?

Is it cool, or is it, like,
total fucking bullshit?

Well, what is it?
What is it?

It's a physical fun palace.

It's basically,
if you're into it,
and she's into it,

it's all good.

Look at this fucking guy
with the bird mask

like Eyes Wide Shut.

Greg:
Oh, wow. Eyes w--

Wait, is this-- is this
gonna be an orgy?

- Roman: No.
- This is not gonna be an orgy?

Greg, it's not 1997.
It's not this, it's not that.

Don't be so binary,
Mr. Betamax.

Is it gonna be like
a little bit of an orgy?

It's basically
a collective
of hot people--

and Connor--
at a party.

And a monkey dressed
as an astronaut, apparently.

It's whatever
you want it to be.

It's a fucking sand pit
for emergent behavior.

OK, OK, holy shit.
So-- OK. OK.

So, does that mean
we're able to... fuck here?

Yeah. Hey, Ken,
what do you think
of the pussycat? On it?

No, not me.
Business is my fucking.

Great. I'll find you
a Bloomberg terminal
to stick your dick in.

Connor:
Well, I'm out. In a
relationship. Girlfriend!

Tom:
I gotta say, Roman,
this is looking promising.

This is looking
really promising!

Roman:
See? Have a little faith.

There's areas, though,
right?

Neutral areas
in terms of not being,
you know,

compulsory to do
sex stuff?

Roman:
No, Greg. If you refuse,
they cut your dick off.

What did I just say?
It's very consensual.

( music playing )

Kendall:
Angela.

- ( Angela sniffs )
- Angela?

Angela. Angela.

Yo. Dust.

- Oh. Fuck.
- Hey. What's up?

Yeah, hey,
what's happening?

Here we are
in a fuckin' warehouse

- in Sunset Park or whatever.
- Yeah.

I feel like
this is synchronicity.

Yeah? Like the universe
is telling us something.

Yeah. We really appreciated
you coming to see us.

Yeah, yeah, totally,

I'm super-excited.

Yeah. Totally.
Me too.

OK, well, fuck, yeah.
Excellent. All right.

All right.
Good to see you.

Yeah.

You know,
I was thinking,

maybe one wine, one water,

as like an informal rule
for the group?

Also, uh,
they have risotto balls.

Like, they're soakers.
Super-soakers.

- Ketamine.
- Tom: Greg! Greg!

Got you one.
Come on, man,
it's goin' off tonight!

We should talk
to some girls.

Little tip: Ask 'em
where they were on 9/11.

If they don't know,
they could be under 21.

Well, Shiv gave me
a hall pass.

'Cause we're adults.
Apparently.

I'm gonna blow my load
like multiple times.

Wow. So-- And Shiv has
that same arrangement?

She's an adult too,
so...

What? No, no.

Well, yeah, sure.

I mean, I don't know, Greg.
It's not a competition.

No, no, no.
That's cool.

I'm sure you guys
have it all figured out.

- Connor: Romey, what is this?
- Molly. Happy pills.

- Oh, cool.
- But I wouldn't--

No, no, no, no.
Prague time.

It's two in the morning for me.
I need a little pick-me-up.

- Don't.
- Dude. I know my way around.

1986, me,
a Fleetwood Mac LP,

and a bag of weed
touched the face of God.

Huh? The first of the evening,
the first of many.

- Do not do any more of these.
- Got it. I'm one and done.

Got a lot of shit cookin',

like, artificial sun
solar cells thing...

Yeah. Listen, man,
about the vote,

and your dad and us,

I love you, man,
but you know I had
to follow the money.

You know that, right?

I get it.

All right.
Hey, why don't we
talk in private for a second?

- Can we do that?
- We can talk right here.

All right.

So listen, I have
a question for you.

How would you like
to be all the way out?

Half a bill for your share
of Waystar.

- Is this for real?
- Yeah, man.

I'm feelin' fuckin' generous,
that's all.

And I've plumped the pillows
and added a little premium.

- Consisting of what?
- Straight liquid.

- Bullshit.
- Don't you worry about it.

I can raise it.

Why would you want to be
even more in?

The place is a fucki''
antique shop.

Ken, just take the money
and get out. Please.

I mean...

it's not uninteresting.

Fantastic. Great.
So listen,

there's a part two to this.

Why don't we talk this over
with Sandy?

Sandy... Furness?

Come with me.

Come.

Tom:
Bottom's up.

- One, two, three!
- Ketamine.

- You good?
- Line 'em up, please.

These bathrobes are nice.

- See these?
- Uh-huh.

What's your table linen
philosophy?

Uh, my philosophy
is I literally
don't give a fuck.

So what's that,
Nietzsche?

These are what's

on our registry.

Hmm.

You should
go for these.

Right, you want us
to have matching cutlery?

Why not?

It'll be
sort of horrible,
and cute.

So when we both get divorced
and split all our stuff,

we can hook up
and have the same set.

- The full set.
- Mm-hmm.

( kissing )
Yeah.

Nah-hah-hah.

You know this is
just fun, right?

- I know, it's just--
- It's nothing.

I mean, it's not anything.
There's no God,

there's no... anything,

there's just people in rooms

trying to be happy.

- Right?
- Right.

Oh, and I suggested to Gil

that he cool off
on the anti-Waystar agenda
on ATN tonight.

- Excuse me?
- Yeah.

I talked to him at the thing.

Oh. OK.

Well, I did spend
quite some time

on how it'd be very vivid
to attack Waystar

- on a Waystar network, but...
- Very vivid?

It's played out. Makes it
look like we have an agenda.

Uh, we do. Stopping

overly mighty media owners

setting the agenda
for our democracy.

DOJ, FCC, Batman,

to stop your dad
eating the news.

OK, but even
if we're going for that,

isn't that in some big speech
that no one reads?

Can't he just connect
to America tonight
and forget the base?

Shiv, I appreciate you might
have split loyalties on this.

Fuck you. I'm just trying
to make him win.

I don't think he can
do both at once.

I don't think Gil
can do the base
and the rest.

Well, if he can't
ride two horses at once,

he shouldn't be
working at the circus.

- Sandy comes to these?
- Oh, yeah. He loves sex.

Dude, the thing
that he pees through,

he puts into other people.

It's fucking vile.
And a lot.

Hey, Sandy.

Oh. Gents, excuse me.

- Kendall. You look well.
- Thank you.

You look, uh,
out of place.

I do like to see
the youngsters frolic.

So, you wanna talk?

Uh, did Stewy fill you in?

Why do I feel like
I'm about to find out

you're not my real
mommy and daddy after all?

Look, the truth is,

he wants your piece of pie,

but-- and please don't fucking
blow a fuse here, OK?

The reality is,
he's already in on Waystar.

- As in?
- As in Sandy's me,

and I'm Sandy.

We're like a single entity.

Like a creature
from mythology.

You know, head of a horse,
dick of a swan.

Stewy... seriously?

I have a shell company attached
to his private equity fund.

I'm a parasite on a parasite.

You should have
disclosed that to me
when I brought you in.

You are one hundred percent
correct about that.
I should have done that.

You were in a tough position

without having to consider
whether your dad

would want me involved.

He very much would not.

So apparently,
my girlfriend's
having a panic attack.

I'm gonna let you two
just catch up now. Cool?

Stewy tells me
you're getting
into tech.

Yeah, I have a fund.

We're niche,
but we're engaged.

Just closed a deal tonight,
actually.

And I found
these four Stanford grads

who are doing this thing,
it's pretty cool,

they have this cluster
of hydrogen lamps...

Wait. What's going on?

Dude, are you pitching?
You just pitch?

Where'd you spring from,
Heidi?

Don't stop. I want to hear
the pitch. I might invest.

Kendall:
( laughs )
We were just talking.

To him? The enemy?

The adults are talking.
How about you go play
in the other room?

Hey, Sandy, could I maybe
get a moment with you
in private?

I'd like to talk to you
about how attached
you're feeling

to your 50 failing
local TV stations.

Sure. I'm sure
we could find a time.

Roman, could you maybe back off
for, like, 20 minutes?

- No.
- Yeah. Get us a drink?

I would love another
old-fashioned.

He would love
another old-fashioned,
cliché that he is.

No, that's not
gonna happen.

I know that you and my dad

have been deeply
and madly in hate
with each other,

and you have been
for many years,

but I want you to know
that I'm my own thing,

and I am fully
authorized--

- ( Kendall laughing )
- I am fully authorized

to negotiate
on behalf of Logan.

Yeah, he's doing satellites
like it's 1985.

Dad's got him holding
the plastic steering wheel
in the back

and telling him
he's driving.

You have to excuse
my brother.

He's adjusting
to his medication
right now.

How about you fuck off back
to your little gang-bang?

- See how he talks to me?
- You're embarrassing yourself.

- You're family.
- He used to lock me in a cage.

- What the fuck?
- No, that's a true story.

What, you're pretending
that you don't remember
the dog pound?

- Are you tripping?
- Yeah, it was a "game."

I had to go climb in
this big dog cage
in the kitchen

and wait for someone
to come collect me.

Oh, yeah?
Well, I-I don't know.

Might be three minutes,
might be the whole afternoon.

Four years old.
I was eating dog food
out of a cold tin bowl.

I know, right? They should
make a fuckin' movie
of this shit, right?

( awkward laugh )
Excuse me.

I'll be back.

( laughing )

( stomps )

- What the fuck are you doing?
- What?

- What was that bullshit?
- I can say what I want.

Yeah, but you--
That was insane.
You're acting insane.

So you just want me to pretend
that none of that happened?

What happened?

None of it happened.
Dog pound didn't happen.

I never made you eat dog food.

There was a bowl
that was filled with chow,

and I couldn't leave the cage
until I finished it.

It was a game,
you enjoyed it.

A-Ask Connor. Ask Shiv.

I enjoyed being in a cage
with a leash around my neck?

So now there's a leash?
You're full of shit.

Me? I'm full of shit?

- Have fun.
- Get the fuck outta here.

Asshole! Nwahh!

( dance music playing )

Connor:
So I got this gelding, right?
Chestnut brown.

You wouldn't believe the size
of this guy's cranium.

Big ol' noggin!

Hey! Con, can I ask you
something?

Do you remember
anything about a dog pound
when we were growing up?

Sure, I remember that game
you used to play.

So he used to lock me
in a fucking cage.

Sure, the big cage, yeah,
in your mother's place.

The laundry room in Cheltenham.

Thank you!
He's trying to gaslight me.

No, you liked it!

You asked to be put
in that cage.

- What?
- Yeah.

It was really weird,
but I think you enjoyed it.

OK, so I asked to eat dog food?

It was chocolate cake.
I think.

- Bullshit.
- I don't know.

No. Kendall locked me
in a cage, I went weird,

I started wetting the bed,

and that's why Dad sent me away
to St. Andrews.

No, Rome, Dad sent you
to military school

because you asked to go.

- Oh, you're full of shit!
- That's how I remember it!

So listen, my ranch

is completely safe
from biological
or chemical attack.

- These are your friends, right?
- Yeah.

You'd all be welcome, anytime,
pre- or post-apocalypse.

( music playing )

Greg: Tom!

- Tom.
- Hey.

Have you seen Kendall?

No.

I feel like we should
maybe keep an eye out for him.

Aw, damn it.

Tom, sweetheart,
I'm at ATN with Gil.

What's the least
amount of syllables
you can say this in?

Tom:
Well, I just want to be clear

in terms of you and me.

Is this a quid pro quo
arrangement?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

It's just, you know, if I--

if I, for instance,

if I touch a boob,

do you grab a dick?

( stammers )
I don't know if that's a--

Just to get a rough chart
of comparison

from Fahrenheit to Celsius,

or, you know,
an eye for an eye?

Or an orifice
for an orifice?

I'm just trying to get a sense
of the parameters here.

Uh, Tom, I can't
negotiate right now.

But we know, right?
We just know.

Sure.

We know.

S-- Oop--

So you want to run the tree
on how personal stuff plays?

Issues, issues, issues.

I can handle
the soft soap, Shiv.

Hey, Kendall.
Just spoke to Shiv.

Official permission
for having of the fun.

Amazing. So happy for you.

Hey, man, can I get this, uh--

- Hey, Ken.
- Kendall: Hey, Frank. Listen.

I've had an approach.

It's kind of
a very interesting approach,

and I wanted to get
your brain on it.

I heard from the girls.
The Dust thing. With the art?

Yeah, I know. I saw them.
It's locked down.

They wanted you to know they
loved you in the room. But--

I just spoke to the girl.
We're good.

Ken, they're already
setting this up elsewhere.

But like I said,

they loved you in the room.

What are you talking about?

I think there's other money
and they liked it better.

Then we match it.

I tried that already, but--

Seriously,
they loved you in the room.

Will you stop telling me they
loved me in the fucking room?!

Frank!
I heard you the first time.

OK. OK, let me talk to her.

I can fix this.

Yeah?

( dance music playing )

Hey. Hey.
Can we talk for a second?

Can we do this another time?

I just got off the phone
to Frank.

What happened? He told me.

I'm sorry,
it's nothing personal.

I shouldn't be telling you this,
but I'm about to land
a chunk of seed capital

the size of fuckin' Idaho,

so, I mean, whatever it is
you need,

I can make it happen. OK?

- Yeah, OK.
- OK?

So are we good?

You know,
it's just not about that.

Then, like, help me out here,

'cause there's something
I'm not seeing.

- It's the name.
- Which? You mean "Dust"?

Roy. Kendall Roy.

It'd be like
I was marrying Hitler,

and then I'd get to be,
what, Mrs. Hitler?

OK, uh, that's not really fair,

I mean...

Look, that's-- that's not me.

I'm not a Roy.

OK? Not really.

I'm sorry. It's cool,
we just don't want
to be Hitler Incorp--

Can you stop saying Hitler?
Please? You don't know
what I am.

Consensus is
you're a coked-up prick
who can't shit straight.

You think
you're different?

OK, Angela. You know what,

I'm gonna be frank with you--

Look, I didn't
want to do this here.

And I may be being
more forthright
'cause of the coke.

I tend to get
more forthright on coke.

All right? I'm sorry.

OK, look, hey, listen--

Hey, fuck off!

Hey, man,
can I get in on this?

I'm joined in the studio
by Senator Gil Eavis.
Firstly, Senator,

welcome.
We really appreciate it.

Happy to be here,
Sharon.

I want to just
jump straight in,
if we may.

Your wife very tragically
took her own life
18 months ago.

The warmest of ATN welcomes.

Gil:
I think
everybody knows

about that, and it's something
I live with every day.

But it's not relevant
to the issues.

- I want to explore--
- The impression you've given

is that it did inform
your decision to run.

A lot of things inform
a big decision like this.

But what I want
to talk about tonight--

But it hasn't been long,

and I guess that
what some people may ask is,

what could possibly
have caused such a tragedy?

And are you ready
so suddenly

to turn around and run
for the highest office?

Doesn't he have
a line for this?

It's usually--
normally OK.

Gil:
I'm focused on what I think
this country needs to do

- to move to--
- So you have thought about it,

your mental
and emotional state?

I think about
my feelings,
like most humans...

Oh, no, no. No sarcasm.

It must be
incredibly difficult for you

as a person who has had
to deal with rumors

swirling about the state
of his mental health.

Why don't we stop playing
this game of pretend sympathy

where you're just trying
to get your viewers to ask,

"What sort of guy has a wife
who kills herself?"

- That is--
- You wanna make this personal?

Let's talk about Logan Roy,
shall we?

The paymaster who set you up
in this hack job
against me today--

Oh, Senator, come on.

If you want to know
about a person,

look at his relationships
with his family.

His only daughter

- has come to work for me.
- Oh, fuck off.

- Shiv.
- I'm not the fucking angle.

So you don't want
to take any more questions?

Certainly not from you.
Thank you.

Unfortunately, that seems to be
all the time we're going
to have with Senator Eavis.

( music playing )

Hey! Kenny!

Whoa. That's a chunk of chang
you got there, buddy.

It sure is, Greg.

Maybe... just ease--
ease into that, right?

I mean, not all at once?

Can I help you
with something, man?

What the fuck's going on?
You've been up my ass
all night.

No, I just-- I'm just
keepin' an eye out for you.

I mean, drugs--
You don't know where--

Is this Rava?
Did she put you
up to this?

No.

Then what's your
fuckin' deal, man?

Your dad is, I think,
a little worried about you
is all.

My dad asked you
to fuckin' spy on me?

No, not spy, watch--

Family-style
watching you.

- Wow.
- You know?

I'm about to do
these four lines of cocaine,

to top up the four
I just did,

and then my heart's
gonna explode.

So if you want to stop me,

be my guest.

I don't do white drugs.

My dad's gonna be
super-disappointed

if his son ODs.

- I know.
- So...?

( snorting )

What the fuck?

He's counting on you
to look after me.

OK, OK, OK!
Stop. Stop.

OK. Give it to me.

- Go on.
- I'm goin'.

Tom:
Ooh, Greg!

Go for it, Greg!

Suck on those
big white dicks,
you fuckin' pervert.

( snorting )

Oh!

( gurgling )

Tom:
Greg, you greedy
piece of shit.

( laughing )
Oh, my God!

Greg, you total coke whore.

( gurgling )

( laughing )

Should I puke?

Not unless you can puke up
your entire bloodstream.

( laughing )

- Oh, my God, man.
- That is strong drugs.

- I know. I hope you don't die.
- Oh, my God!

If you do, your heart
is gonna be pumping so hard

it'll probably
bring you back to life.

- Where did he go?
- Buckle up, fucklehead!

( laughs )

Hi.

- Logan: Hello, Pinky.
- Shiv: Hello.

- I'm glad you kept the date.
- Well, family.

- How was the play?
- Oh, you know,

people pretending
to be people.

( laughs )

How are the wedding
arrangements?

Very exciting.

Yeah, well, I'm excited.
My daughter.

So you saw the interview.

They told me.

You came after
the man's wife.

They said.

You're OK with that?

Tell him not to speak
about my family,

not on my network...

not on any network,
ever again.

Or I'll end him.

Yeah, silence the man who says
you're stifling dissent.

I'm a bad father?
How dare he.

He's a bad fuckin' husband.
He killed his wife.

Oh, come on. Dad.

What if the acquisitions
you're making

are actually bad
for the country?

He's using you.
Can't you see it?

Don't let any of the bullshit
overshadow your wedding.

The wedding?

The fucking wedding?
I don't give a shit.

Oh, Siobhan, come on.
Stop screwing around.

I want to talk
about you properly.

Come in.
I'm tired of this.

You have potential.

I've always thought
you were the smartest.

So that's why you tried
Kendall and Roman first?

Do you know what?
I am the smartest.

Which is why
I can see through you

and this transparent
little offer to buy me off.

I've always tried to do right
by you, Siobhan.

And maybe...

maybe I shouldn't have.

Maybe I should just
let them come for you.

Like who?

Like... I don't know.

But I hear things.

Are you threatening me?

Absolutely not.

If this is the way
things are gonna go,
then fuck off, Dad.

Then... I'm truly sorry.

So, in terms of Shiv,

where I've landed is, uh,

I'm maybe just
gonna ask for a handy.

- Think that's OK?
- Don't pre-rationalize.

You get off,
you eat the shame
for dessert.

- Wait. Her? That one?
- Yeah. We were talking

for, like, 20 minutes
about financial derivatives,

and she just asked me.

My God!
Holy shit!

Dad would go fuckin' nuts
for her. You should do it.

- Yeah?
- Yeah! Fuck yeah!

I'd be all over that.

I'd, like... I'd fuckin'...

Arrgh! Fuck.

OK, well...

I need something.
Do you have a Smint?

- What?
- Do you have a Smint?

No! Just grab
your baloney-pipe
and jizz.

- OK. OK.
- Yeah. OK.

Champagne?

- Woman: Bye.
- Tom: Bye.

Stewy:
You gotta
get into P.R.

That's where
the real fuckin' money--

Do you think now
would be a good time
to sit down with the old fart?

Dude, did you see
that guy jerking off
near the hors d'oeuvres?

Dude, that's a fuckin'
health hazard.

Uh, no. When do you think
I can talk to him?

I'd really love
to hear something
to take home.

Uh-huh. Ro-Ro, can you
just be fucking cool, man?

Maybe get a slider.

Ask if can stick your finger
up someone's ass, all right,
buddy?

- Jeez.
- Hey! Fuck you!

I'm not your little pet
that you get to kick around.

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
Excuse me, space suit.

Bro.

You think that I can't
make your life difficult,

but word in the right ear,

and I could be your migraine,
motherfucker.

I came here
to talk to the old man
on your word,

so make it happen.

- OK.
- Yeah?

- All right.
- Cool.

Ahh!

I tried to hide...
but it finds you.

Wherever you hide,
the party finds you.

Sir, this is
your final warning.

Absolutely.

Got it.

Wait. What's happening?

Your friend here

keeps telling people
he's in love with them,

and it's making people
uncomfortable.

My bad.
Mixed messages.

It's just we share
such strong feelings
about gut bacteria

I think I got
the wrong end of the stick.

Watch him.

Maybe I should
go apologize.

Give her a hug.

Oh, my God, dude!

That was insane!

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. Me and this girl,

we go into this side room
and we start making out,

and then I'm touching her

and then she goes down on me,

and then I splooge
in her mouth, and--

I know! I know!

And get this:
she kisses me

and puts it back in my mouth,
and I swallow.

Which, the cum?

I know. So hot!

You swallowed
your own load?

Yeah. I heard of it,
but I don't--

I didn't know
it actually happened.

I haven't heard
about it before.

I have. It's a thing.
There's a word for it.

I can't remember
what it is right now.

- Hmm.
- So fuckin' hot.

When are we allowed
to go home?

We have cars at 5:00.

Greg, I'm having
the time of my life.

This is nightmarish.

You ready for
your bachelorette party?

They were out of
marine uniforms,

so I've come dressed
as a political consultant.

Sss...

Relax.

This isn't real.

It's becoming real, which
might be a problem for us.

Uh... can I stay?

But with you,
as a human dog

just at the foot
of the bed?

I love you, Kenny.

- I love you too, man.
- I'm tryin' to find this girl,

but I think she's trying
to hide from me.

Listen, is there
another room
for humping?

'Cause I also lost Roman.

- Fuck Roman.
- Well, you know,

he was askin'
about the dog pound,

and he got
kind of riled up.

Is he still
talking about that?

Yeah.

- It's pathetic.
- Yeah.

He enjoyed it, right?

Oh, yeah!

I mean, you did too.

You know,
just messin' around.

Yeah,
just messin' around.

Dad's theory was
you got two fighting dogs,

you send the weak one away,

you punish the weak one.

Then everyone
knows the hierarchy,

then everyone's happy.

So away he went.

I gotta keep lookin'. OK.

Hi! Hey,
may I ask you,

where were you
on 9/11?

You know what, I--
Never mind.

Listen, Sandy.

I appreciate your offer.
I'm not getting out.

OK. Well, if you think
you have to tell your father
and get back in with him,

- then I--
- Keep your money.

Keep your money,
bring me in.

We do this properly.

We'll go fuck my dad together.

- Uh-huh.
- Takeover.

Leveraged buyout. Hostile.

That's a dual stock
situation.

That's not gonna be
straightforward.

Price in the toilet,
shareholders are pissed--

you and me could
force him to the table.

What about the rest
of your family?

Fuck the rest of my family.

- Easy to say.
- No one has a clue but me.

I know what to do.
I see it all.

We take it apart.

Fuck local TV,
newspapers, parks--

we bulldoze the whole
fuckin' shantytown.

We just keep
the juiciest morsels,

turn the thing
from a pod of rotting whales

into one bastard great white.

What's your end?

CEO. I'm the only one
who knows the architecture.

OK? The emotional
corporate architecture.

Well, I could like it.
Stewy might not like it.

Fuck Stewy.

Stewy will follow the money
like a dog in a cartoon.

And you sure
you got the stomach?

Yeah.

I'm good.

( phone buzzing )

Tom.

- Marcia: Um...
- Oh.

...sorry to wake you.

Hey. Is everything OK?

No.

He couldn't
catch his breath.

Listen, we've been advised,
and we are really sorry,

but I don't think
it's a good idea for him
to come to the wedding.

Oh, yeah. That sounds sensible.

Shiv.

He really is sorry.

Yeah, me too.

OK, bye.

You OK?

Yeah. I'm great. That's
two less wedding dinners

for the caterers
to have to organize.

( grunts )

I don't know, Nate.

I don't fuckin' know.

Roman:
And I would be
your point man on this,

so you would not
have to deal direct
with my dad.

So if we can
find a price...

- But there's potential?
- It could happen.

Well, fuck, I'm excited.

This is great.
This is pure upside.

- Roman: Thank you.
- Awesome, dude.

Let's jerk him around
for a bit,

then throw him back.

This fuckin' family.

Ooh, hey! Come on.

How's it goin'?

What?

What, are you
psyching me out?

( clank )

I'm fuckin' terrified.

Asshole!

Shit.

If the car
doesn't come soon,

I'm just gonna
swim home, I think.

Greg tells me
you swallowed your own load.

Yeah, It was-- Yeah.
It was pretty wild.

It's cool, though,
'cause it's like I didn't cheat

'cause all the sperm
stayed in my own body.

Like a closed loop system.
So...

It'd be really nice
to see Shiv.

Willa! Hi, I just
want to say I love you.

I love you so much.

What's happening?
Where's the car?

Arriving in five.

Congratulations, Tom.

I hear you swallowed
your own load.

Yeah, I did.

It's been a really
wonderful night.

I would love
a chicken pot pie.

Thank you.

OK, honey, bye.

Hey, Shiv!

I'm home!

Still got both my eyebrows!

- Oh, hi!
- Hey.

Hey, you're back...
already.

God, I missed you, honey.
God, I missed you.

- I missed you.
- How was it?

- Which-- Oh, the party?
- Yeah.

It was a blast.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

So... what happened?

( laughs )
You know, just...

like, this and that.

Usual. Normal stuff.

Specifically what, Tom?

Wait, what? No.
Shiv, you--

I thought you said--

Oh, honey,
I'm shitting you.

Oh, my God, OK.

( both laugh )

Oh, it's good
to have you back.

Yeah, Frank.

Those girls from the art thing,

I want you to
put the word around
they're junkies,

they're sluts,
they're shooting
seed capital

straight into their arms.

Let's sink them.

( indistinct chatter )

Gentlemen. Shall we?

My man.

( music playing )

STEWY: You're doin' this?

KENDALL ROY:
Yeah, I'm doin' this.

-STEWY: Are you scared?
-Have you met my dad?

It'll be hostile,
hostile, hostile.

(CLOCK TICKING)

Why are you so jumpy
about this, Ken?

KENDALL:
About taking the company
out of family control?

About fucking Rom,
Shiv, and Connor?

Probably blowing what's left
in my dad's brain?

I don't know, Stewy.
Why would that make me jumpy?

STEWY: One more thing...
It's about that bear hug letter.

An acceleration.

No, no, no.
What do you want this to be?

One wedding
and four fuckin' funerals?