Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,885 --> 00:00:04,885
[Jill]
Previously on Kidding...
2
00:00:04,969 --> 00:00:06,844
[Jeff] And I think
that's appropriate,
3
00:00:06,927 --> 00:00:08,260
because it reminds us--
4
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,010
- [horn blares]
- [tires screeching]
5
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,468
I wanna do a show about death.
6
00:00:12,552 --> 00:00:14,260
You do a show about death,
7
00:00:14,343 --> 00:00:16,343
children will run
from the room in tears.
8
00:00:16,426 --> 00:00:17,927
[Joanne] So what
do you think?
9
00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:19,301
It's perfect.
10
00:00:21,052 --> 00:00:22,385
I'll take it.
11
00:00:23,677 --> 00:00:24,969
[woman] What do you
want to say?
12
00:00:25,885 --> 00:00:27,426
[Jeff] Allahu Akbar!
13
00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:29,218
Allahu Akbar?
14
00:00:29,301 --> 00:00:31,010
Stop talking.
We get it.
15
00:00:31,094 --> 00:00:32,593
You always know what to say.
16
00:00:32,677 --> 00:00:34,094
Sometimes I don't
want you to talk.
17
00:00:34,176 --> 00:00:36,052
I want you to listen.
18
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,176
[chicken clucking]
19
00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:41,468
♪ playful music ♪
20
00:00:41,552 --> 00:00:42,218
- [blow lands]
- [grunts]
21
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,802
I'm gonna call you Big P.
22
00:00:45,885 --> 00:00:46,885
What can I call you?
23
00:00:46,969 --> 00:00:48,510
Jeff Pickles.
24
00:00:48,593 --> 00:00:50,844
Olympic gold medalist
Ms. Tara Lipinski.
25
00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:52,927
[cheers and applause]
26
00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:56,802
- [slicing]
- [crowd screaming]
27
00:00:56,885 --> 00:00:58,468
[lighter flicking]
28
00:00:58,552 --> 00:01:00,176
[Jeff] Will's smoking reefer
29
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,885
like a jazz musician.
30
00:01:01,969 --> 00:01:03,927
[Jill] Teaching Will
a magic trick
31
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:06,218
isn't gonna get him
to stop smoking pot.
32
00:01:06,301 --> 00:01:08,718
♪♪♪
33
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,301
[Marsha]
The National Tree Lighting.
34
00:01:10,385 --> 00:01:12,844
That'll be, what,
10 million people watching?
35
00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:14,718
Oh, fuck.
36
00:01:14,802 --> 00:01:17,260
[Seb] How did December
get here so quickly?
37
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:20,927
You are a bagpipe of insanity.
38
00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:23,094
This is not insanity.
39
00:01:24,343 --> 00:01:26,135
This is how honesty looks
40
00:01:26,218 --> 00:01:28,343
when you're inside out
and upside down.
41
00:01:29,885 --> 00:01:31,718
Saying yes to drugs
42
00:01:31,802 --> 00:01:34,760
is the biggest oops
you can make.
43
00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:38,510
Get between your kids
and drugs.
44
00:01:38,593 --> 00:01:40,301
It doesn't matter how
45
00:01:40,385 --> 00:01:42,301
if you want to save
your child's life.
46
00:01:42,385 --> 00:01:43,802
Hmm.
47
00:01:43,885 --> 00:01:47,927
♪ uplifting music ♪
48
00:01:48,010 --> 00:01:50,635
♪ quirky music ♪
49
00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:55,885
♪♪♪
50
00:02:05,301 --> 00:02:06,677
[woman]
Live from President's Park
51
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,593
in the heart
of the nation's capital,
52
00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:11,760
it's America's Christmas Tree
Lighting 2018.
53
00:02:11,844 --> 00:02:13,969
This year, we celebrate
the festive season
54
00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:16,343
in a time-honored
holiday tradition
55
00:02:16,426 --> 00:02:18,635
featuring performances
from Trisha Yearwood,
56
00:02:18,718 --> 00:02:21,135
Wynonna Judd,
The Texas Tenors,
57
00:02:21,218 --> 00:02:23,468
with Kathie Lee Gifford
and Dean Cain.
58
00:02:23,552 --> 00:02:26,927
Please welcome our host,
Mr. Jeff Pickles.
59
00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:30,135
- [cheers and applause on TV]
- [bird squawking]
60
00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:33,135
♪ dramatic music ♪
61
00:02:33,218 --> 00:02:38,343
♪♪♪
62
00:02:43,844 --> 00:02:45,802
[crowd murmuring]
63
00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:50,927
♪♪♪
64
00:02:53,927 --> 00:02:55,218
[man clears throat]
65
00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:58,135
Your parents don't deserve you.
66
00:03:00,844 --> 00:03:03,844
If they did, you wouldn't
be able to walk from
67
00:03:03,927 --> 00:03:07,218
Los Angeles to Beijing on
a bridge of floating plastic.
68
00:03:07,301 --> 00:03:09,510
What's left to drink
when the water
69
00:03:09,593 --> 00:03:11,052
has too much lead in it?
70
00:03:11,135 --> 00:03:14,593
The orange juice
has too much sugar.
71
00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:16,593
They put so many
hormones in the milk,
72
00:03:16,677 --> 00:03:19,635
girls are spending their
eighth birthday with Aunt Flo.
73
00:03:19,718 --> 00:03:22,510
They want me to put
Soap Scum on a tampon box.
74
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:23,593
They want Ennui hawking
antidepressants.
75
00:03:23,677 --> 00:03:24,844
[line trills]
76
00:03:24,927 --> 00:03:27,802
speaking Croatian
77
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:35,218
You are the product
of narcissism.
78
00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:38,844
Your parents look at you
and see their own death.
79
00:03:40,552 --> 00:03:42,552
They either expect more of you
than you can give them
80
00:03:42,635 --> 00:03:44,927
or, worse,
nothing at all.
81
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:47,094
Statistically,
they hate each other.
82
00:03:47,176 --> 00:03:50,260
speaking Japanese
83
00:03:52,593 --> 00:03:54,343
They use you
to fix their flaws.
84
00:03:54,426 --> 00:03:56,802
They want you to read
the books they won't.
85
00:03:56,885 --> 00:03:59,301
You are the caviar of a trout.
86
00:03:59,385 --> 00:04:01,510
[bird squawks]
Caviar of a trout.
87
00:04:01,593 --> 00:04:03,135
Your parents will
always love you enough
88
00:04:03,218 --> 00:04:05,718
to pretend they love you.
89
00:04:05,802 --> 00:04:07,844
That's why they buy you dolls,
90
00:04:07,927 --> 00:04:09,969
so you can practice
pretending too.
91
00:04:10,052 --> 00:04:12,677
Repeat after me.
Every pain needs a name.
92
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,510
[Josip] Every pain
needs a name.
93
00:04:14,593 --> 00:04:16,593
Good, that's very good.
Green means go.
94
00:04:16,677 --> 00:04:18,510
- [Josip] Green means go.
- Good.
95
00:04:18,593 --> 00:04:20,760
Good.
Now say, "I love you, Daddy."
96
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,802
- [Josip] Why?
- Just say it.
97
00:04:23,885 --> 00:04:26,343
[Josip] I love you, Daddy.
98
00:04:26,426 --> 00:04:27,510
Thank you.
99
00:04:27,593 --> 00:04:29,552
Your parents are failing you.
100
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:32,426
Mine did, and yours do.
101
00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,885
Every day.
102
00:04:34,969 --> 00:04:38,135
I know this because
they leave you with me.
103
00:04:39,052 --> 00:04:41,385
Don't believe me?
104
00:04:41,468 --> 00:04:43,010
Next time you're
watching my show,
105
00:04:43,094 --> 00:04:45,468
call out for your mom
or your dad.
106
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,718
Do they respond?
107
00:04:47,802 --> 00:04:49,176
No.
108
00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:51,260
Of course not.
109
00:04:51,343 --> 00:04:52,927
They're avoiding you.
110
00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:55,094
Mom?
111
00:04:55,176 --> 00:04:57,052
Your mom is chasing down
a handful of Klonopin
112
00:04:57,135 --> 00:04:58,510
with a Diet Dr Pepper.
113
00:04:58,593 --> 00:04:59,718
Mom?
114
00:04:59,802 --> 00:05:01,385
And Dad is out there drinking
115
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,635
from the bottles
that empty him.
116
00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:04,552
Mom?
117
00:05:04,635 --> 00:05:08,635
[Deirdre] Hypothetically
if I-I have an account
118
00:05:08,718 --> 00:05:11,260
that he doesn't know about
119
00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:13,426
with hundreds of thousands
of dollars
120
00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:15,593
that was supposed
to go to charity,
121
00:05:15,677 --> 00:05:19,426
what happens to that, um,
money in the divorce?
122
00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:23,552
[Deirdre] I see, yeah.
123
00:05:23,635 --> 00:05:26,135
I like you,
124
00:05:26,218 --> 00:05:29,010
the friends who visit me
on television.
125
00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:31,176
But I'm not your father.
126
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:32,677
And I shouldn't be.
127
00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:38,510
I killed my son.
128
00:05:38,593 --> 00:05:40,135
[crowd gasping]
129
00:05:40,218 --> 00:05:43,010
♪ somber music ♪
130
00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:45,927
♪♪♪
131
00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:48,010
[glass shatters]
132
00:05:48,094 --> 00:05:49,885
[man] Murderer!
133
00:05:49,969 --> 00:05:51,969
♪♪♪
134
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,969
[sniffing]
135
00:05:55,052 --> 00:05:59,635
♪♪♪
136
00:06:06,218 --> 00:06:08,218
[Josip] Please don't use
a bad word when you can--
137
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,094
♪♪♪
138
00:06:11,176 --> 00:06:13,927
I didn't listen to him.
139
00:06:14,010 --> 00:06:17,176
So he didn't listen to me.
140
00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:20,218
Turns out, I was a pretty good
talker but a terrible listener.
141
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,426
Why didn't I listen?
142
00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:25,552
Because I can be selfish too.
143
00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:28,718
If I had really
listened to him,
144
00:06:28,802 --> 00:06:31,635
I would have heard
my own flaws, my own anger.
145
00:06:31,718 --> 00:06:34,218
For me to address his flaws,
146
00:06:34,301 --> 00:06:36,176
I would have had
to admit to my own.
147
00:06:38,094 --> 00:06:39,718
If I had listened to him,
148
00:06:39,802 --> 00:06:41,718
maybe he would have
listened to me.
149
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,510
Maybe he would have
done his homework.
150
00:06:44,593 --> 00:06:46,426
Maybe he would have
put on a seat belt.
151
00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:51,760
♪♪♪
152
00:06:53,927 --> 00:06:56,677
Now it's almost Christmas.
Again.
153
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,593
And in that spirit,
154
00:07:01,677 --> 00:07:04,385
I want you to go to where
your parents hide things.
155
00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:07,301
Sometimes it's
a special drawer
156
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,635
or the linen closet.
157
00:07:08,718 --> 00:07:11,468
All children know
where this is.
158
00:07:11,552 --> 00:07:13,343
It's where your parents
hide your presents.
159
00:07:13,426 --> 00:07:14,635
♪ whimsical music ♪
160
00:07:14,718 --> 00:07:16,593
I want you to open them early.
161
00:07:16,677 --> 00:07:19,343
♪♪♪
162
00:07:19,426 --> 00:07:21,510
It's all right.
163
00:07:21,593 --> 00:07:23,635
I say it's okay.
164
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,260
I don't wanna
fail you anymore.
165
00:07:26,343 --> 00:07:27,677
♪♪♪
166
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,677
Did you get
a talking Mr. Pickles?
167
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,094
Go ahead.
Pull the string.
168
00:07:33,176 --> 00:07:38,052
♪♪♪
169
00:07:40,385 --> 00:07:42,593
[dolls] I'm listening.
I'm listening.
170
00:07:42,677 --> 00:07:45,635
I'm listening.
I'm listening.
171
00:07:45,718 --> 00:07:49,385
♪♪♪
172
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,176
[door clicks open]
173
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:55,052
♪♪♪
174
00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:56,969
What did you get me
for Christmas?
175
00:07:57,052 --> 00:08:01,885
♪♪♪
176
00:08:02,343 --> 00:08:05,135
Maddy. Maddy!
177
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,844
What?
178
00:08:08,135 --> 00:08:10,885
I'm listening.
179
00:08:10,969 --> 00:08:14,885
And, Jill,
if you're listening,
180
00:08:14,969 --> 00:08:17,343
I'm sorry.
181
00:08:17,426 --> 00:08:19,343
I will always love you.
182
00:08:19,426 --> 00:08:23,343
♪♪♪
183
00:08:26,094 --> 00:08:31,135
♪♪♪
184
00:08:32,385 --> 00:08:33,927
Allahu Akbar!
185
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:36,885
[crowd screaming]
186
00:08:51,426 --> 00:08:52,718
We're gonna be fine.
187
00:08:58,510 --> 00:08:59,927
[vomiting]
188
00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:02,885
[phone ringing]
189
00:09:05,385 --> 00:09:08,510
[ringing continues]
190
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,343
[network exec 1] We'll air
whatever's left on the shelf,
191
00:09:13,426 --> 00:09:15,010
but then I-I don't know.
192
00:09:15,094 --> 00:09:17,718
I like to call this
an indefinite hiatus.
193
00:09:17,802 --> 00:09:19,969
But if I'm PBS talking--
and I am--
194
00:09:20,052 --> 00:09:21,593
I'd be lying if I said I saw
195
00:09:21,677 --> 00:09:23,010
the show coming back
from this,
196
00:09:23,094 --> 00:09:25,385
animated or not.
197
00:09:25,468 --> 00:09:27,094
I see.
198
00:09:27,176 --> 00:09:28,844
[network exec 2]
Look, we all know Jeff
199
00:09:28,927 --> 00:09:30,718
hasn't been the same
since the car accident.
200
00:09:30,802 --> 00:09:32,844
Maybe this is for the best.
201
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:35,426
You there, Seb?
202
00:09:35,510 --> 00:09:38,176
Hello, hi.
Fuck you.
203
00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:40,844
You don't get to say that
about my son.
204
00:09:43,385 --> 00:09:46,260
♪ soft music ♪
205
00:09:46,343 --> 00:09:51,260
♪♪♪
206
00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:28,176
Could I let you in on
something that's bugged me
207
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,802
for 30 years?
208
00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:33,010
Okay.
209
00:10:33,094 --> 00:10:34,885
I've always understood
how I get down
210
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:36,468
to Pickle Barrel Falls.
211
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,718
I get in a pickle barrel,
212
00:10:38,802 --> 00:10:41,969
go over the falls,
a parachute deploys.
213
00:10:42,052 --> 00:10:45,677
What I've never understood is,
how do I get back up?
214
00:10:47,969 --> 00:10:49,635
There's no way back up.
215
00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:56,135
Yeah.
I don't know.
216
00:10:56,218 --> 00:10:57,635
I never thought about that.
217
00:10:59,176 --> 00:11:02,635
Derrell, do you think
what I did was wrong?
218
00:11:05,844 --> 00:11:07,385
Yes.
219
00:11:07,468 --> 00:11:10,426
♪ dramatic music ♪
220
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:15,635
♪♪♪
221
00:11:26,426 --> 00:11:27,135
I need help.
222
00:11:27,218 --> 00:11:28,593
[sighs]
223
00:11:28,677 --> 00:11:29,844
I don't know how to help you.
224
00:11:29,927 --> 00:11:32,218
Yes, you do.
You help by loving me.
225
00:11:32,301 --> 00:11:33,885
I don't know
how to love anyone.
226
00:11:33,969 --> 00:11:36,218
You love Maddy.
You love Scott.
227
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,969
- I'm leaving Scott.
- What?
228
00:11:39,052 --> 00:11:41,510
I'm giving Maddy
a divorce for Christmas.
229
00:11:41,593 --> 00:11:43,802
I'm gonna tell her tonight.
Maybe I'll bake brownies.
230
00:11:43,885 --> 00:11:45,718
I'm so sorry.
I didn't know.
231
00:11:45,802 --> 00:11:47,218
No, it's my fault.
232
00:11:48,135 --> 00:11:49,885
I don't know who I am.
233
00:11:51,094 --> 00:11:55,552
Somehow I know
who everyone is except me.
234
00:12:05,343 --> 00:12:07,094
You think I'm going insane?
235
00:12:11,176 --> 00:12:12,927
You know how I make
a new puppet?
236
00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:16,635
I start with someone I know,
237
00:12:16,718 --> 00:12:18,927
and then, uh,
238
00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:22,010
I search for their essence.
239
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:27,635
I look them in the eye,
and I'm thinking to myself,
240
00:12:27,718 --> 00:12:30,052
"Who are you, really?
241
00:12:30,135 --> 00:12:32,468
Are you someone
who likes secrets?"
242
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,426
♪ dramatic music ♪
243
00:12:35,510 --> 00:12:40,677
♪♪♪
244
00:12:43,635 --> 00:12:45,760
- Are you--
- What?
245
00:12:48,844 --> 00:12:50,885
"Are you someone's opposite?"
246
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:55,426
They say time and space
are both immutable,
247
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:58,718
governed by laws
that cannot be broken.
248
00:12:59,426 --> 00:13:02,760
All I have to say to that is,
249
00:13:02,844 --> 00:13:05,677
laws were meant to be broken.
250
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,635
And that's why they call me...
251
00:13:08,718 --> 00:13:11,593
the amazing Pickle-ini!
252
00:13:11,677 --> 00:13:14,677
- [laughter]
- [clapping]
253
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,635
"At the end of the day,
what's your purpose, huh?
254
00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:20,802
Are you somebody's heart?"
255
00:13:20,885 --> 00:13:23,927
I'm sorry if my actions
hurt you in any way.
256
00:13:25,094 --> 00:13:27,844
Hey, I found
my next relationship
257
00:13:27,927 --> 00:13:31,135
in a hospital hallway,
so maybe I led by example.
258
00:13:31,218 --> 00:13:32,677
"Are you an old soul?"
259
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,844
[both moaning]
260
00:13:35,927 --> 00:13:39,635
♪♪♪
261
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,802
"Are you the voice of God?"
262
00:13:41,885 --> 00:13:45,552
The general populace doesn't
see you as a sexual being.
263
00:13:45,635 --> 00:13:48,677
We see Mr. Potato Head.
No one sees a man.
264
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,552
Thanks, Dad.
265
00:13:50,635 --> 00:13:52,426
But I am a man.
266
00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:54,010
I am.
267
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,010
Just a different kind.
268
00:13:56,094 --> 00:13:59,927
♪♪♪
269
00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:02,635
So who am I, Dee?
270
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:04,718
Ennui the Sad
271
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,844
or Sy the Happy Fly?
272
00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:08,969
You know who you are.
273
00:14:10,135 --> 00:14:13,635
Um, there's some kid
here to see Jeff.
274
00:14:13,718 --> 00:14:16,052
She just wandered in here
without a parent.
275
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,135
Thanks.
276
00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:24,718
♪ soft music ♪
277
00:14:24,802 --> 00:14:29,969
♪♪♪
278
00:14:31,135 --> 00:14:33,094
What can I do for you?
279
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,135
[doll] I'm listening.
280
00:14:35,218 --> 00:14:37,802
♪♪♪
281
00:14:37,885 --> 00:14:39,301
[patting couch]
282
00:14:41,218 --> 00:14:43,052
I'm always here to listen.
283
00:14:44,385 --> 00:14:47,510
After T-ball,
no one was there to get me.
284
00:14:47,593 --> 00:14:49,426
So when the coach
dropped me off,
285
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:52,593
Mom and Dad were both home
without any pants on.
286
00:14:52,677 --> 00:14:55,885
[Jeff] Oh.
Did that make you sad?
287
00:14:55,969 --> 00:14:57,927
- [boy] Mm-hmm.
- [Jeff] Hmm.
288
00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:03,176
♪♪♪
289
00:15:03,844 --> 00:15:06,718
[indistinct chatter]
290
00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:15,343
♪♪♪
291
00:15:37,677 --> 00:15:39,468
It's gonna be okay.
292
00:15:39,552 --> 00:15:44,468
♪♪♪
293
00:15:45,301 --> 00:15:46,635
Where are you going?
294
00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:49,218
To see Dad.
295
00:15:49,301 --> 00:15:50,927
You're spending the night
there tonight.
296
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:56,135
♪♪♪
297
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,844
Hey, get in line.
298
00:16:19,927 --> 00:16:25,010
♪♪♪
299
00:16:32,969 --> 00:16:34,677
[boy] Thank you.
300
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:39,635
♪♪♪
301
00:16:53,094 --> 00:16:55,844
You talk.
302
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,885
I'll listen.
303
00:16:57,969 --> 00:17:02,301
♪♪♪
304
00:17:02,385 --> 00:17:06,301
I had a son named Phil.
305
00:17:06,385 --> 00:17:08,218
He was once your age.
306
00:17:10,301 --> 00:17:12,301
He died.
307
00:17:12,385 --> 00:17:16,635
So we put him in a box,
308
00:17:16,718 --> 00:17:19,677
and we buried him.
309
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,885
♪ What does it mean
to lose a thing ♪
310
00:17:21,969 --> 00:17:24,510
♪ You really want to stay? ♪
311
00:17:24,593 --> 00:17:26,677
♪ What if they sent
your favorite socks ♪
312
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,301
♪ A million blocks away? ♪
313
00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:33,802
[all] ♪ If you knew they were
warming someone else's feet ♪
314
00:17:33,885 --> 00:17:34,844
- ♪ Hooray ♪
- Hooray.
315
00:17:34,927 --> 00:17:36,677
Yay!
316
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,969
[Jeff] ♪ Nothing
you really love ♪
317
00:17:39,052 --> 00:17:41,094
[all] ♪ Can ever ♪
318
00:17:41,176 --> 00:17:45,426
- ♪ Go away ♪
- [cell phone ringing]
319
00:17:48,176 --> 00:17:49,552
Hello?
320
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:50,718
[Jill] Hi, it's me.
321
00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:52,677
I know.
I know.
322
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:54,260
[Jill] Sorry Will
didn't make it over
323
00:17:54,343 --> 00:17:55,677
to your place last night.
324
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,343
He says he's not feeling well,
325
00:17:57,426 --> 00:18:00,385
but I think
it's girl problems.
326
00:18:00,468 --> 00:18:02,343
Oh, well, he's gonna have
to get used to that.
327
00:18:02,426 --> 00:18:04,052
He's a heartbreaker.
328
00:18:04,135 --> 00:18:07,052
♪♪♪
329
00:18:07,135 --> 00:18:09,552
[Jill] It was
a beautiful song.
330
00:18:09,635 --> 00:18:11,718
[Jeff] You saw that?
331
00:18:11,802 --> 00:18:14,218
[Jill] I always felt you were
ashamed of Phil's death
332
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,426
because you never
talked about it in public.
333
00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:19,385
You could hide behind the show
and never deal with it.
334
00:18:20,927 --> 00:18:22,677
[Jeff] I know.
335
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,135
[Jill] For what it's worth,
it felt like
336
00:18:24,218 --> 00:18:26,343
you stopped hiding today.
337
00:18:26,426 --> 00:18:28,552
[Jeff] I didn't think
you still watched the show.
338
00:18:28,635 --> 00:18:30,468
[Jill] I do sometimes.
339
00:18:30,552 --> 00:18:32,052
- [screams]
- [Jeff] Oh!
340
00:18:32,135 --> 00:18:33,802
I kinda got it.
341
00:18:33,885 --> 00:18:35,343
[Jeff] I like
that you visit me
342
00:18:35,426 --> 00:18:38,552
when I don't know
you're visiting me.
343
00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:40,552
[Jill] I know I made this
whole thing about setting
344
00:18:40,635 --> 00:18:43,052
rules and boundaries,
but I want you to know
345
00:18:43,135 --> 00:18:46,176
that you can come by the house
whenever you like.
346
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,218
- [laughter]
- [Jeff] Tonight?
347
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,135
- [Jill] If you want.
- [Jeff] We could go for a walk.
348
00:18:50,218 --> 00:18:51,510
- [Jill] Sure.
- [Jeff] Maybe we could
349
00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:53,885
see a baseball game
together.
350
00:18:53,969 --> 00:18:55,385
[Jill] It's the middle
of winter.
351
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,010
[Jeff] No,
I don't mean tonight.
352
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,677
I just mean someday.
353
00:19:00,426 --> 00:19:02,301
- [laughs]
- [Jeff] Yeah!
354
00:19:02,385 --> 00:19:04,426
- That was a strike.
- [Jeff] Oh, good.
355
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,094
- [Jeff] Hello?
- [Jill] I'm here.
356
00:19:06,176 --> 00:19:07,552
[Jeff] Oh.
[laughs]
357
00:19:07,635 --> 00:19:10,343
I thought you, uh,
nodded off.
358
00:19:26,052 --> 00:19:27,426
[faint chatter and yelling]
359
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:30,468
[hip-hop music playing faintly]
360
00:19:30,552 --> 00:19:35,426
♪♪♪
361
00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:43,593
[Giggles] So what's
the plural of clitoris?
362
00:19:43,677 --> 00:19:45,260
[Bong Dude] Plethoris?
363
00:19:45,343 --> 00:19:49,593
♪♪♪
364
00:19:49,677 --> 00:19:52,010
[boy chuckles]
365
00:19:52,094 --> 00:19:54,635
[couple smooching]
366
00:19:54,718 --> 00:19:57,010
[couple giggling]
367
00:19:57,094 --> 00:20:02,176
♪♪♪
368
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:04,635
[Bong Dude]
Baruch atah Adonai.
369
00:20:04,718 --> 00:20:07,593
[Giggles]
Baruch atah Adonai.
370
00:20:07,677 --> 00:20:10,260
Eloheinu melech haolam.
371
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,760
Eloheinu melech haolam.
372
00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:14,468
♪♪♪
373
00:20:14,552 --> 00:20:15,844
Hey.
374
00:20:15,927 --> 00:20:16,927
What's up?
375
00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:18,426
Are we friends?
376
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:21,802
Uh, we're your only friends.
377
00:20:21,885 --> 00:20:23,385
He wasn't talking to you.
378
00:20:23,468 --> 00:20:28,593
♪♪♪
379
00:20:30,301 --> 00:20:31,927
Sometimes I don't
feel like myself
380
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:35,385
and I do stuff
I'm not proud of.
381
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,010
Is he talking
about the chickens?
382
00:20:38,094 --> 00:20:39,927
Mm-mm.
383
00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:42,844
I'm sorry I was stupid.
384
00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:45,844
I'm sorry I was your
first kiss and I was stupid.
385
00:20:45,927 --> 00:20:48,094
You weren't my first kiss.
386
00:20:48,176 --> 00:20:50,260
Oh.
You were mine.
387
00:20:51,343 --> 00:20:53,927
Oh.
388
00:20:54,010 --> 00:20:57,510
[sighs]
Come to bed.
389
00:20:57,593 --> 00:20:59,343
Jeff's coming over
for a bit, I think.
390
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:00,844
[crowd chanting]
Drink! Drink! Drink!
391
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,969
Oh, come on!
392
00:21:03,052 --> 00:21:05,844
Who's this asshole
new neighbor of yours?
393
00:21:05,927 --> 00:21:07,385
I don't know.
394
00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:09,385
Ah, there's not enough
Ambien in the world.
395
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:11,552
Mm.
396
00:21:11,635 --> 00:21:13,927
I have a 4 a.m. shift.
397
00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:16,176
- I'll call the police.
- Mm.
398
00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:18,301
[sighs]
399
00:21:18,385 --> 00:21:19,635
No.
400
00:21:21,844 --> 00:21:24,927
I can be...
401
00:21:25,010 --> 00:21:26,760
polite but firm.
402
00:21:26,844 --> 00:21:28,094
♪♪♪
403
00:21:28,176 --> 00:21:30,969
[crowd cheering]
404
00:21:31,052 --> 00:21:33,552
[both giggling]
405
00:21:33,635 --> 00:21:35,260
♪♪♪
406
00:21:35,343 --> 00:21:37,510
[chicken clucking]
407
00:21:37,593 --> 00:21:42,468
♪♪♪
408
00:21:45,969 --> 00:21:48,135
[boy] What's up, dude?
409
00:21:48,218 --> 00:21:49,510
Hello.
410
00:21:50,885 --> 00:21:52,510
Hey.
411
00:21:52,593 --> 00:21:54,927
Anybody actually live here?
412
00:21:55,010 --> 00:21:57,885
Hey, I think
this old guy will know.
413
00:21:57,969 --> 00:21:59,260
Yo, dude,
414
00:21:59,343 --> 00:22:01,176
what do you call
more than one clitoris?
415
00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:03,010
A medical condition.
416
00:22:03,094 --> 00:22:04,677
[chortling]
417
00:22:05,844 --> 00:22:07,385
[sighs]
418
00:22:07,468 --> 00:22:11,218
♪♪♪
419
00:22:11,301 --> 00:22:14,135
[Peter] Oh, that is fucked up.
420
00:22:14,218 --> 00:22:19,343
♪♪♪
421
00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:21,552
Not you guys.
422
00:22:21,635 --> 00:22:23,176
You guys, I never saw.
423
00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:25,552
[sighs]
424
00:22:26,510 --> 00:22:28,969
Hey, turn down the music,
okay?
425
00:22:29,052 --> 00:22:33,885
♪♪♪
426
00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:38,010
Oh.
427
00:22:38,094 --> 00:22:43,010
♪♪♪
428
00:22:45,135 --> 00:22:46,593
Hey, hey, you!
429
00:22:46,677 --> 00:22:49,094
God, you.
I need to talk to you.
430
00:22:49,176 --> 00:22:51,468
Hey there, Big P.
431
00:22:51,552 --> 00:22:53,468
Jill and I are just
going for a walk.
432
00:22:53,552 --> 00:22:55,385
Why are your clothes
in that house?
433
00:22:56,635 --> 00:22:57,468
What?
434
00:22:57,552 --> 00:22:59,301
Did you move in next door?
435
00:23:02,301 --> 00:23:06,218
I didn't...move in.
436
00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:07,593
[sighs]
437
00:23:09,052 --> 00:23:12,094
- Please don't tell her.
- You're hurting her.
438
00:23:12,176 --> 00:23:13,718
You're--
I'm sorry, it's not my place
439
00:23:13,802 --> 00:23:15,468
to say any of this.
440
00:23:15,552 --> 00:23:17,385
[sighs]
441
00:23:18,260 --> 00:23:20,176
She loves you, all right?
442
00:23:20,260 --> 00:23:22,218
You love her.
443
00:23:22,301 --> 00:23:24,426
That's great.
But the more that you love her,
444
00:23:24,510 --> 00:23:26,552
the more you are hurting her.
445
00:23:26,635 --> 00:23:29,260
'Cause you can't rebuild this.
It's impossible.
446
00:23:29,343 --> 00:23:31,593
Please stop asking her to try.
447
00:23:31,677 --> 00:23:32,844
I'm sorry. You're right.
448
00:23:32,927 --> 00:23:34,510
God, you're right.
I'm sorry.
449
00:23:34,593 --> 00:23:36,593
I like you.
I don't wanna be the bad guy
450
00:23:36,677 --> 00:23:38,593
that tears your family apart.
451
00:23:38,677 --> 00:23:40,052
You're not.
452
00:23:40,135 --> 00:23:41,094
You're the opposite
of everything
453
00:23:41,176 --> 00:23:42,301
I wanted you to be.
454
00:23:42,385 --> 00:23:43,885
You're smart and charming
455
00:23:43,969 --> 00:23:45,635
and clearly you do
push-ups sometimes.
456
00:23:45,718 --> 00:23:47,969
Not really.
My-my father was big-chested,
457
00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:50,552
and...you know.
458
00:23:50,635 --> 00:23:53,802
When Jill and I
had our falling-out...
459
00:23:56,510 --> 00:23:59,552
...my biggest fear was that
I'd have to watch another man
460
00:23:59,635 --> 00:24:01,510
raise my child.
461
00:24:01,593 --> 00:24:05,343
And now that
that moment has come,
462
00:24:05,426 --> 00:24:07,218
I'm relieved...
463
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,802
...because...
that other man is you.
464
00:24:14,010 --> 00:24:16,718
You're terrific.
465
00:24:16,802 --> 00:24:19,552
You really are.
466
00:24:19,635 --> 00:24:22,094
Inside and out.
467
00:24:22,176 --> 00:24:24,593
Well, that's the most wonderful
thing anyone's ever said to me.
468
00:24:24,677 --> 00:24:26,468
I hope I didn't overstep.
469
00:24:26,552 --> 00:24:28,844
No, it's--
I...
470
00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:31,677
Thank you, bud.
Thank you for saying that.
471
00:24:35,135 --> 00:24:36,301
[chuckles]
472
00:24:40,593 --> 00:24:43,301
The P in Big P
used to stand for "pussy,"
473
00:24:43,385 --> 00:24:45,760
but now it stands
for "Peter."
474
00:24:45,844 --> 00:24:47,343
Don't worry about it.
475
00:24:47,426 --> 00:24:49,510
I'll tell Jill
about the house.
476
00:24:49,593 --> 00:24:51,260
I'll apologize.
477
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,343
We'll work through this
together.
478
00:24:55,426 --> 00:24:57,885
Okay.
[chuckles]
479
00:24:57,969 --> 00:24:59,301
Okay.
480
00:25:00,844 --> 00:25:02,343
Thanks.
481
00:25:04,844 --> 00:25:07,010
[Peter] Thanks for
trusting me with Will.
482
00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:11,343
Hey, do you wanna smoke a joint?
483
00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:15,218
♪ dramatic music ♪
484
00:25:15,301 --> 00:25:16,677
You mean marijuana?
485
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,218
♪♪♪
486
00:25:19,301 --> 00:25:22,135
Make you feel good.
487
00:25:22,218 --> 00:25:24,218
I should go home.
488
00:25:24,301 --> 00:25:25,885
[lighter flicks]
489
00:25:27,593 --> 00:25:31,677
♪♪♪
490
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,885
- Night.
- Good night.
491
00:25:35,969 --> 00:25:38,593
[engine turns over]
492
00:25:39,218 --> 00:25:42,135
- [grunts]
- [glass shatters]
493
00:25:42,218 --> 00:25:44,802
[groaning]
494
00:25:44,885 --> 00:25:47,969
♪♪♪
495
00:25:48,052 --> 00:25:49,468
Oops.
496
00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:56,426
♪♪♪
497
00:25:59,385 --> 00:26:02,260
[birds chirping]
498
00:26:02,343 --> 00:26:07,510
♪♪♪
499
00:26:11,885 --> 00:26:16,135
♪ You can feel
anything at all ♪
500
00:26:16,218 --> 00:26:20,468
♪ Anything at all,
it's fine ♪
501
00:26:20,552 --> 00:26:23,760
♪ It's you who's doing
the feeling ♪
502
00:26:23,844 --> 00:26:28,010
♪ And that makes it okay ♪
503
00:26:28,094 --> 00:26:32,635
♪ And if you don't know
who you are yet ♪
504
00:26:32,718 --> 00:26:37,635
♪ You can feel anyway ♪
505
00:26:37,718 --> 00:26:40,343
♪♪♪
506
00:26:40,426 --> 00:26:44,718
♪ You can feel
feelings you don't know ♪
507
00:26:44,802 --> 00:26:48,385
♪ Feelings gotta grow,
like feet ♪
508
00:26:48,468 --> 00:26:50,218
♪♪♪
509
00:26:50,301 --> 00:26:54,593
♪ So feel it ♪
510
00:26:54,677 --> 00:26:56,218
♪ And you can ♪
511
00:26:56,301 --> 00:27:00,510
♪ Heal it ♪
512
00:27:00,593 --> 00:27:03,301
♪ Isn't growing up ♪
513
00:27:03,385 --> 00:27:07,426
♪ Funny ♪
514
00:27:07,510 --> 00:27:12,301
♪ And sweet? ♪
515
00:27:12,385 --> 00:27:16,969
♪♪♪
516
00:27:17,019 --> 00:27:21,569
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33792
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof