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[Ennui Le Triste]
Previously on Kidding...
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00:00:02,633 --> 00:00:04,924
Pickles on Ice,
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00:00:05,007 --> 00:00:07,758
starring Mr. Pickles himself,
as played
4
00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:09,591
by gold medalist
Tara Lipinski.
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00:00:09,675 --> 00:00:11,299
[Jeff] I want my head back.
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00:00:11,383 --> 00:00:14,132
Pickles on Ice requires
a Mr. Pickles, Jeff.
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00:00:14,216 --> 00:00:16,633
Otherwise, it's just
Tara Lipinski
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00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:18,550
ice dancing
through a fever dream.
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00:00:18,633 --> 00:00:20,716
♪ disquieting waltz ♪
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00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,550
Here.
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00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:24,800
[Josip]
♪ Today's hidden ingredient ♪
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00:00:24,882 --> 00:00:26,383
Ecstasy!
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00:00:26,466 --> 00:00:28,174
He's some Croatian
voice actor.
14
00:00:28,258 --> 00:00:30,591
♪♪♪
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00:00:30,675 --> 00:00:32,424
[Will] Hi, Havana?
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00:00:32,508 --> 00:00:34,341
♪♪♪
17
00:00:34,424 --> 00:00:35,882
[Maddy screaming]
18
00:00:35,966 --> 00:00:37,716
Maddy,
we're not getting divorced.
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00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,882
♪♪♪
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00:00:39,966 --> 00:00:41,924
I promise.
21
00:00:42,007 --> 00:00:43,800
[Scott]
This is Mr. Pickles-san.
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00:00:43,882 --> 00:00:45,841
He's gonna follow Uncle Jeff
around for a few weeks
23
00:00:45,924 --> 00:00:47,758
and then bring back
what he learned to Japan.
24
00:00:47,841 --> 00:00:49,007
English, eh...
25
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,591
mm...not amazing.
26
00:00:51,675 --> 00:00:52,841
You speak English?
27
00:00:52,924 --> 00:00:55,174
[unaccented]
I'm not speaking English.
28
00:00:55,258 --> 00:00:57,466
What the actual fuck?
29
00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:59,049
♪♪♪
30
00:00:59,132 --> 00:01:00,258
I'm in remission.
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00:01:00,341 --> 00:01:01,550
I love you so much.
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00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:02,675
[Vivian] Now that I can
33
00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:03,966
plan ahead, I'm sorry.
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00:01:04,049 --> 00:01:05,466
Those plans don't involve you.
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00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:08,132
♪♪♪
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00:01:09,258 --> 00:01:11,007
♪ eight-bit music ♪
37
00:01:11,091 --> 00:01:13,882
It'sss all so beautiful!
38
00:01:13,966 --> 00:01:15,591
Agh!
39
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,258
Quel fromage!
40
00:01:17,341 --> 00:01:18,091
Agh!
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00:01:18,174 --> 00:01:19,049
Mr. Pickles--agh!
42
00:01:19,132 --> 00:01:21,424
[gunfire]
43
00:01:21,508 --> 00:01:23,216
[chattering excitedly]
44
00:01:23,299 --> 00:01:25,424
[Jeff]
Every pain needs a name.
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00:01:25,508 --> 00:01:27,132
[gibbers]
Ah!
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00:01:27,216 --> 00:01:29,341
♪♪♪
47
00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:32,091
Excuse me.
Hey.
48
00:01:32,174 --> 00:01:33,882
What?
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00:01:33,966 --> 00:01:36,841
Uh, can I buy
three chickens?
50
00:01:36,924 --> 00:01:39,591
[eight-bit music
continues on phone]
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00:01:39,675 --> 00:01:44,800
♪♪♪
52
00:01:53,633 --> 00:01:56,466
[man mimicking gunshots]
53
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:59,882
♪♪♪
54
00:01:59,966 --> 00:02:01,466
Some college kid
put it together.
55
00:02:01,550 --> 00:02:02,924
We're sending
a cease-and-desist.
56
00:02:03,007 --> 00:02:04,258
[Ennui Le Triste]
Quel fromage!
57
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,049
- Has Jeff seen this?
- We don't know.
58
00:02:06,132 --> 00:02:07,633
Please get this game
taken down
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00:02:07,716 --> 00:02:09,383
before he does.
It'll upset him.
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00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:11,466
You won't like him
when he's upset.
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00:02:14,049 --> 00:02:16,716
♪ disquieting synth music ♪
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00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:21,882
♪♪♪
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00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:29,424
[TV announcer] Today
through December eighth
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00:02:29,508 --> 00:02:31,716
at the Columbus City
Convention Center,
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00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,216
Tara Lipinski Visits
Pickle Barrel Falls On Ice!
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00:02:35,299 --> 00:02:36,633
Get your tickets now.
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00:02:36,716 --> 00:02:39,550
[cell phone ringing
and buzzing]
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00:02:41,591 --> 00:02:43,258
Hello?
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00:02:43,341 --> 00:02:44,966
[Other Jeff]
Your father loves you, Jeff,
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00:02:45,049 --> 00:02:46,550
but he's going to animate you.
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00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:47,966
Who is this?
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00:02:48,049 --> 00:02:49,758
He doesn't want to,
but he will.
73
00:02:49,841 --> 00:02:52,049
He's asking all around
Eastern Europe,
74
00:02:52,132 --> 00:02:54,174
where talent is cheap
and plentiful,
75
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,966
trying to find
a voice like yours.
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00:02:56,049 --> 00:02:57,758
Am I on the radio?
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00:02:57,841 --> 00:02:58,966
He wanted me to call
and threaten you.
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00:02:59,049 --> 00:03:01,091
I said no.
I'm your friend.
79
00:03:01,174 --> 00:03:02,924
But there are hundreds
like me, Jeff.
80
00:03:03,007 --> 00:03:04,633
Time's running out.
It's not too late.
81
00:03:04,716 --> 00:03:06,132
Listen to your father, Jeff.
82
00:03:06,216 --> 00:03:07,882
Fall in line, Jeff.
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00:03:07,966 --> 00:03:09,174
Your entire existence
is at stake!
84
00:03:09,258 --> 00:03:10,924
- [line beeping]
- Please, Jeff!
85
00:03:11,007 --> 00:03:13,716
I learn English
from watching your show.
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00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,383
♪ dark music ♪
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00:03:15,466 --> 00:03:16,966
Hello.
88
00:03:17,049 --> 00:03:18,383
[Other Other Jeff]
Listen, fucko.
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00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:19,966
Don't listen
to that other guy.
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00:03:20,049 --> 00:03:21,508
He's crazy.
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00:03:21,591 --> 00:03:22,966
I need this job.
92
00:03:23,049 --> 00:03:25,091
I have a large Serbian family.
93
00:03:25,174 --> 00:03:26,341
Little Ognjen needs his sarma!
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00:03:26,424 --> 00:03:28,049
Blow your fucking brains out.
95
00:03:28,132 --> 00:03:29,966
I want to see
your skull fragments
96
00:03:30,049 --> 00:03:31,966
bounce off
the White House windows!
97
00:03:32,049 --> 00:03:33,633
Make me cartoon,
pickle man.
98
00:03:33,716 --> 00:03:35,591
Make me cartoon!
99
00:03:35,675 --> 00:03:37,716
Please leave me alone.
100
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,924
[faint gunfire]
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00:03:40,007 --> 00:03:42,966
[video game music playing]
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00:03:43,049 --> 00:03:44,758
♪♪♪
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00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:46,800
[The Oops]
Oops, you got me!
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00:03:46,882 --> 00:03:49,174
[gunfire]
105
00:03:49,258 --> 00:03:51,633
[Astronotter babbling]
106
00:03:51,716 --> 00:03:54,383
[Sy] It's all so beautiful!
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00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:57,299
[gunfire, music continue]
108
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,466
What are you guys playing?
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00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:02,966
♪♪♪
110
00:04:03,841 --> 00:04:05,216
I need something from you.
111
00:04:05,299 --> 00:04:07,174
I spoke to our lawyers.
112
00:04:07,258 --> 00:04:08,633
They're getting it
taken down immediately.
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00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:12,299
Getting what taken down
immediately?
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00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:13,258
Nothing.
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00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:19,882
Is the Pickles on Ice-tacular
sold out?
116
00:04:19,966 --> 00:04:21,841
Because St. Joan's said that I
117
00:04:21,924 --> 00:04:24,341
could take 20 of my
sick little pickle pals.
118
00:04:24,424 --> 00:04:26,800
One of them, Brian,
119
00:04:26,882 --> 00:04:29,049
has Landau-Kleffner syndrome.
120
00:04:29,132 --> 00:04:31,466
His wish was to meet
Ms. Lipinski.
121
00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:33,341
I promised I would grant it.
122
00:04:38,299 --> 00:04:40,007
What happened
to my office, Jeff?
123
00:04:40,091 --> 00:04:41,966
Did you do that?
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00:04:43,882 --> 00:04:45,800
Did you call
several Serbian Jeffs?
125
00:04:45,882 --> 00:04:48,299
I'm worried
Vivian breaking up with you
126
00:04:48,383 --> 00:04:51,007
the way she did has put you
in a particularly dark place.
127
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,633
A woman is gonna live!
128
00:04:53,716 --> 00:04:55,966
It's a miracle.
We should be happy for her.
129
00:04:56,049 --> 00:04:57,341
I know I am!
130
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,383
Tell you what:
don't go to D.C. next week,
131
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:04,174
and I'll rethink turning you
into a cartoon.
132
00:05:04,258 --> 00:05:06,299
You're not turning me
into a cartoon,
133
00:05:06,383 --> 00:05:07,633
and I am going to D.C.,
because I
134
00:05:07,716 --> 00:05:09,258
have to light
the national tree.
135
00:05:09,341 --> 00:05:11,716
I don't want you on live TV.
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00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,966
You're in too much pain.
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00:05:13,049 --> 00:05:15,966
I stood behind that podium
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00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,174
months after my son died,
139
00:05:18,258 --> 00:05:20,299
and nobody tried
to stop me.
140
00:05:20,383 --> 00:05:21,966
I don't see why some
141
00:05:22,049 --> 00:05:23,716
run-of-the-mill breakup
suddenly tips the scales.
142
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,424
I'm beginning to think
that last year was a mistake,
143
00:05:26,508 --> 00:05:28,007
and I'm sorry,
144
00:05:28,091 --> 00:05:30,508
but last year,
your eyes were soft.
145
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,716
Your voice was
a Mormon trumpet,
146
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,716
a peaceful horn.
147
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,341
Now you are a bagpipe
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00:05:38,424 --> 00:05:39,841
of insanity.
149
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:44,841
This is not insanity.
150
00:05:44,924 --> 00:05:46,758
This is how honesty looks
151
00:05:46,841 --> 00:05:49,591
when you're inside out
and upside down.
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00:05:49,675 --> 00:05:51,216
Jeff,
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00:05:51,299 --> 00:05:53,132
you're having a breakdown.
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00:05:53,216 --> 00:05:54,758
♪ dark orchestral music ♪
155
00:05:54,841 --> 00:05:57,383
I'm having a breakthrough.
156
00:05:57,466 --> 00:05:59,882
You know,
I've never seen you lie,
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00:05:59,966 --> 00:06:01,758
except to yourself.
158
00:06:01,841 --> 00:06:06,132
♪♪♪
159
00:06:06,216 --> 00:06:08,258
I'll get the tickets
for the ice show.
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00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:10,091
I'm glad you're
coming around to it.
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00:06:10,174 --> 00:06:14,299
♪♪♪
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00:06:14,383 --> 00:06:15,800
[sighs]
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00:06:15,882 --> 00:06:17,049
[video game music plays]
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00:06:17,132 --> 00:06:18,924
[Astronotter babbles]
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00:06:19,007 --> 00:06:23,258
[Sy] It'sss all so--agh!
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00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,758
[Ennui Le Triste]
Quel fromage!
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00:06:25,841 --> 00:06:28,132
♪♪♪
168
00:06:28,216 --> 00:06:29,882
[chickens clucking]
169
00:06:29,966 --> 00:06:32,633
[paint hissing]
170
00:06:32,716 --> 00:06:35,633
♪ Black Lips' "Make You Mine"
playing ♪
171
00:06:35,716 --> 00:06:40,591
♪♪♪
172
00:06:43,841 --> 00:06:46,508
♪ Waking up ♪
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00:06:46,591 --> 00:06:49,424
♪ And hit the ground running ♪
174
00:06:49,508 --> 00:06:51,299
♪ Eyes on the prize,
we'll cloud our eyes ♪
175
00:06:51,383 --> 00:06:54,216
♪ The river streams
keep on flowing ♪
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00:06:54,299 --> 00:06:55,383
♪♪♪
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00:06:55,466 --> 00:06:56,924
♪ You're leaving town ♪
178
00:06:57,007 --> 00:06:58,091
♪♪♪
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00:06:58,174 --> 00:07:01,550
♪ It's a brand-new day ♪
180
00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:03,216
♪ What was it now,
you're in, not out ♪
181
00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:05,383
♪ While those wheels
keep on turning ♪
182
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,049
[people yelling,
chickens clucking]
183
00:07:07,132 --> 00:07:08,132
♪ I need a little loving ♪
184
00:07:08,216 --> 00:07:09,591
♪ Tell me everything ♪
185
00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:12,591
♪ Will be all right ♪
186
00:07:12,675 --> 00:07:14,424
♪ It's only ten more miles ♪
187
00:07:14,508 --> 00:07:18,132
♪ And I'm coming
on home tonight ♪
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00:07:18,216 --> 00:07:20,966
♪ Gonna make you mine ♪
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00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:22,841
♪ Gonna make you
mine ♪
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00:07:22,924 --> 00:07:27,800
♪♪♪
191
00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:36,758
I need to know,
did you have sexual relations
192
00:07:36,841 --> 00:07:39,550
with the Japanese version
of your brother?
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00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:42,132
Mr. Pickles-san
is independently handsome.
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00:07:42,216 --> 00:07:43,800
He's your brother
with subtitles.
195
00:07:43,882 --> 00:07:46,966
I would rip you a new one
if you had any asshole left.
196
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,258
Seriously, where do you get
this stuff?
197
00:07:49,341 --> 00:07:52,424
Me, a homosexual?
I am the...
198
00:07:52,508 --> 00:07:54,424
straightest dude I ever met.
Go, Buckeyes.
199
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:57,132
We had that whole
coded conversation
200
00:07:57,216 --> 00:07:59,882
about pianos and clarinets!
201
00:07:59,966 --> 00:08:02,466
I was talking about pianos
and clarinets.
202
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,383
What-what-what were you
talking about?
203
00:08:04,466 --> 00:08:06,424
Your daughter saw
her piano teacher
204
00:08:06,508 --> 00:08:08,966
giving you a hand job
in our driveway!
205
00:08:09,049 --> 00:08:11,800
Oh, my God, who knows
what she saw?
206
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:14,258
Rex is my friend.
207
00:08:14,341 --> 00:08:16,258
Sure, we garden sometimes,
208
00:08:16,341 --> 00:08:18,383
but there's nothing lurid
going on between us.
209
00:08:18,466 --> 00:08:20,341
You almost
came out to me, Scott!
210
00:08:20,424 --> 00:08:21,591
[Scott] When?
211
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,924
That night in bed!
212
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:25,758
All I remember
213
00:08:25,841 --> 00:08:27,424
is a night you wanted me
214
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,966
to name a happy child
of divorce,
215
00:08:30,049 --> 00:08:31,299
so think about that
216
00:08:31,383 --> 00:08:33,299
before you become
your mother.
217
00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:34,716
[laughing] You're gay.
218
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,633
You're gay.
You're gay.
219
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:40,258
You're gay, gay,
gay, gay, gay!
220
00:08:40,341 --> 00:08:42,091
And my pussy needs attention.
221
00:08:42,174 --> 00:08:45,299
My...pussy...
needs...attention.
222
00:08:45,383 --> 00:08:46,841
Can I go to Pop-Pop's?
223
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,841
Why do you hate me?
224
00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:55,966
I don't hate you--
225
00:08:56,049 --> 00:08:58,132
even when I hate you.
226
00:08:58,216 --> 00:08:59,882
Don't forget your promise.
227
00:08:59,966 --> 00:09:02,591
Yeah, I remember.
228
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:05,341
You promised you and Dad
would always stay together.
229
00:09:05,424 --> 00:09:07,591
I did say that.
I remember.
230
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:10,466
Hi.
231
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,216
Hi.
232
00:09:13,299 --> 00:09:15,550
Is that what you're wearing
to the premiere?
233
00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:16,466
Mommy's not coming.
234
00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:17,882
No, Scott's in an--
235
00:09:17,966 --> 00:09:19,216
he's in one of his moods.
236
00:09:19,299 --> 00:09:20,049
I think he's depressed.
237
00:09:20,132 --> 00:09:21,800
[Scott] I love pussy!
238
00:09:23,758 --> 00:09:25,841
Hey, it's gonna be okay.
239
00:09:25,924 --> 00:09:26,758
Is it?
240
00:09:26,841 --> 00:09:27,800
[Seb] Yes.
241
00:09:27,882 --> 00:09:29,299
That's good.
242
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:33,383
Did you really think
you could commit
243
00:09:33,466 --> 00:09:35,007
such a blatant infidelity
244
00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:35,882
without any consequences?
245
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:36,966
I'm sorry.
246
00:09:37,049 --> 00:09:38,299
I wasn't thinking.
247
00:09:38,383 --> 00:09:40,091
I was selfish.
248
00:09:40,174 --> 00:09:41,882
I'm a terrible person.
249
00:09:41,966 --> 00:09:43,800
A child lives in this house,
Deirdre.
250
00:09:43,882 --> 00:09:45,383
We'll tell her
you're away on a trip.
251
00:09:45,466 --> 00:09:47,299
Fine, you should tell her.
252
00:09:47,383 --> 00:09:49,924
I'm a terrible liar.
Oh.
253
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:52,174
Ohayo gozaimasu.
254
00:09:53,841 --> 00:09:56,675
[speaking Japanese]
255
00:10:13,758 --> 00:10:15,466
He needs to find
another place to sleep.
256
00:10:15,550 --> 00:10:16,966
I agree.
257
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,383
He's overstayed his welcome.
258
00:10:19,466 --> 00:10:21,132
A-and seriously,
how much longer
259
00:10:21,216 --> 00:10:22,800
do you need to stay here?
260
00:10:22,882 --> 00:10:24,633
It-it-it's a puppet show.
261
00:10:24,716 --> 00:10:27,132
You're not learning the ways
of the freaking Jedi.
262
00:10:27,216 --> 00:10:28,716
Have a nice day.
263
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:29,924
[Scott] Yeah, fuck you.
264
00:10:30,007 --> 00:10:30,966
God damn it.
265
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,550
[door closes]
266
00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:43,758
I think we should fuck.
267
00:10:43,841 --> 00:10:46,716
♪ uneasy music ♪
268
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,216
♪♪♪
269
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,966
[Deirdre breathing heavily]
270
00:10:51,049 --> 00:10:52,675
♪♪♪
271
00:10:52,758 --> 00:10:54,091
I cannot.
I'm sorry.
272
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,383
All Pickles-sans
take a vow of chastity.
273
00:10:56,466 --> 00:10:59,633
This has been tradition
since the show began.
274
00:10:59,716 --> 00:11:01,383
How many Pickles-sans
have there been?
275
00:11:01,466 --> 00:11:02,633
I'm the second.
276
00:11:02,716 --> 00:11:04,174
I think we should fuck.
277
00:11:04,258 --> 00:11:05,424
I cannot.
I'm sorry.
278
00:11:05,508 --> 00:11:07,049
I serve a higher
moral authority:
279
00:11:07,132 --> 00:11:08,758
the children of Japan.
280
00:11:08,841 --> 00:11:10,550
I think...
281
00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:12,049
we should fuck!
282
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,091
[Sara] Who wants
an autograph?
283
00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:17,675
[children] Oh, I do.
I do.
284
00:11:17,758 --> 00:11:22,007
[Sara] Oh, here you go, kid.
I like that sweater.
285
00:11:22,091 --> 00:11:23,550
- [girl] Thank you.
- [Sara] Who's next?
286
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:27,007
- [girl] I am.
- She's beautiful.
287
00:11:27,091 --> 00:11:30,424
You really like watching
Ms. Lipinski, don't you, Brian?
288
00:11:30,508 --> 00:11:32,174
If I stop watching,
289
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,924
she'll fall down.
290
00:11:35,299 --> 00:11:37,216
Well, then you better not
take your eyes off her.
291
00:11:37,299 --> 00:11:40,174
[cell phone ringing
and buzzing]
292
00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:47,216
Hmm.
Hello.
293
00:11:47,299 --> 00:11:48,882
[Principal Ward]
Hi, Mr. Pickles.
294
00:11:48,966 --> 00:11:50,882
This is Principal Ward
from Will's school.
295
00:11:50,966 --> 00:11:53,258
We have a bit
of a situation here.
296
00:11:53,341 --> 00:11:55,174
[video game beeping]
297
00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:56,591
[mimicking gunshots]
298
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,258
[Ennui Le Triste]
Oh, mon dieu!
299
00:11:58,341 --> 00:11:59,966
Life is meaningless.
300
00:12:00,049 --> 00:12:01,966
[Sy buzzes]
301
00:12:02,049 --> 00:12:03,341
[Astronotter babbling]
302
00:12:03,424 --> 00:12:05,091
[Soap Scum]
Hey, that hurts!
303
00:12:05,174 --> 00:12:07,049
Looks like someone got
a new phone.
304
00:12:07,132 --> 00:12:09,466
[video game gunfire]
305
00:12:09,550 --> 00:12:10,633
[Soap Scum yelling]
306
00:12:10,716 --> 00:12:12,383
♪♪♪
307
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:13,633
[Principal Ward]
Thank you, Will.
308
00:12:13,716 --> 00:12:15,633
You can wait out here.
309
00:12:15,716 --> 00:12:17,091
Can I
310
00:12:17,174 --> 00:12:18,591
see the parents now,
311
00:12:18,675 --> 00:12:20,466
and only the parents?
312
00:12:23,007 --> 00:12:24,049
Have they found
number three yet?
313
00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:35,049
[whispering] There is no
number three, is there?
314
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,216
[laughs]
Why'd you do it?
315
00:12:39,299 --> 00:12:41,299
To impress that girl.
316
00:12:42,091 --> 00:12:43,800
You think she got the message?
317
00:12:46,383 --> 00:12:49,299
[sighs]
Women.
318
00:12:50,132 --> 00:12:52,508
Women.
319
00:12:52,591 --> 00:12:54,800
There is no good way
to say this.
320
00:12:54,882 --> 00:12:57,341
One of Will's chickens pecked
a cook in the genitalia.
321
00:12:57,424 --> 00:12:59,174
It swelled up,
and we had
322
00:12:59,258 --> 00:13:01,091
to put a special sock
around it.
323
00:13:01,174 --> 00:13:03,800
Will generally doesn't
act like this.
324
00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:05,341
He'll apologize.
325
00:13:05,424 --> 00:13:07,716
I like Will, but he's changed.
326
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,466
He has new friends,
327
00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:10,882
and I can't prove it, but...
328
00:13:10,966 --> 00:13:12,466
I think he's smoking marijuana.
329
00:13:12,550 --> 00:13:13,882
It's an epidemic.
330
00:13:13,966 --> 00:13:15,841
[Principal Ward]
Every family has a Will.
331
00:13:15,924 --> 00:13:17,258
My brother Paul
332
00:13:17,341 --> 00:13:18,675
started as a Will.
333
00:13:18,758 --> 00:13:22,341
Paul owes
a lot of people money.
334
00:13:22,424 --> 00:13:24,591
Paul once got so drunk
on alcohol,
335
00:13:24,675 --> 00:13:26,924
he broke into a bowling alley
at night
336
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:30,216
and fried his own food
at the snack bar.
337
00:13:30,299 --> 00:13:33,132
I don't think Will
is Paul yet, so...
338
00:13:33,216 --> 00:13:35,299
I'm letting him off
with a warning.
339
00:13:37,007 --> 00:13:39,675
Thank you for your lenience
and your candor.
340
00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:42,550
The pot thing,
we take very seriously.
341
00:13:42,633 --> 00:13:45,007
Why can't Will
be an asshole?
342
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,132
Hmm?
343
00:13:47,216 --> 00:13:49,508
Why can't Will
be an asshole?
344
00:13:49,591 --> 00:13:51,424
I'm sorry.
I like that he's
345
00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:53,132
an asshole.
I don't know why.
346
00:13:53,216 --> 00:13:55,966
Sometimes it's okay
to be an asshole.
347
00:13:56,049 --> 00:13:58,007
Sometimes the world
needs assholes.
348
00:13:58,091 --> 00:14:00,800
Paul sounds awesome.
I'd like to hang out with Paul.
349
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,716
Paul's living
his best life.
350
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,132
I don't understand.
351
00:14:04,216 --> 00:14:05,882
I do.
352
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:10,341
We love our children.
353
00:14:10,424 --> 00:14:12,049
We love them when they're good,
354
00:14:12,132 --> 00:14:14,758
but we love them more
when they challenge us.
355
00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:17,341
When children misbehave,
356
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:18,966
they're reminding us
357
00:14:19,049 --> 00:14:22,091
of how much
we must love them
358
00:14:22,174 --> 00:14:24,924
if we're still willing
to tuck them in at night.
359
00:14:26,591 --> 00:14:28,758
When Will acts out,
360
00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:32,424
it reminds her
of his deceased brother.
361
00:14:36,299 --> 00:14:37,882
I think we should suspend him.
362
00:14:40,924 --> 00:14:42,758
[sniffles]
I'm sorry, I have to go.
363
00:14:48,258 --> 00:14:49,633
[Will] What happened?
364
00:14:49,716 --> 00:14:51,466
[sighs]
You're suspended.
365
00:14:52,716 --> 00:14:54,299
Now let's go get
some hotcakes.
366
00:14:54,383 --> 00:14:55,882
Yeah?
367
00:14:55,966 --> 00:14:57,258
All of us?
368
00:14:57,341 --> 00:14:58,882
Did you want
me to join,
369
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,258
or are you guys--
just want family time?
370
00:15:01,341 --> 00:15:02,132
Um, I think
371
00:15:02,216 --> 00:15:02,924
just the family,
372
00:15:03,007 --> 00:15:05,550
if that's okay.
373
00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:07,174
Principal Ward,
374
00:15:07,258 --> 00:15:09,466
I found
the number three chicken.
375
00:15:09,550 --> 00:15:10,800
Good work, Barnaby.
376
00:15:12,924 --> 00:15:14,800
Uh,
let's get out of here.
377
00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:22,716
[door bangs open]
378
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,258
Jeff's left.
I don't think he's coming back.
379
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,299
Put on the Pickles.
380
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:27,758
No, I'm sorry.
381
00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:29,299
I promised him
I would be myself
382
00:15:29,383 --> 00:15:30,716
and only myself.
383
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,841
[Seb] I've sunk my reputation
384
00:15:31,924 --> 00:15:34,091
and a considerable chunk
of my 401(k)
385
00:15:34,174 --> 00:15:35,841
into this endeavor.
386
00:15:35,924 --> 00:15:37,841
The people need
the Pickles.
387
00:15:37,924 --> 00:15:41,132
The puppets need to find
Mr. Pickles,
388
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:43,924
or the ice narrative
has no ending.
389
00:15:44,007 --> 00:15:46,299
- Listen to reason.
- [parakeet squawks]
390
00:15:46,383 --> 00:15:48,216
You're beautiful
just the way you are.
391
00:15:48,299 --> 00:15:49,716
Shut up!
392
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,550
Sorry.
That's our new parakeet,
393
00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:54,216
Sarakeet.
Uh, she talks too much,
394
00:15:54,299 --> 00:15:56,216
- uh, kind of like me.
- [Sarakeet squawks]
395
00:15:56,299 --> 00:15:57,882
I don't think
I've ever seen you talk.
396
00:15:57,966 --> 00:15:59,758
Uh, well,
397
00:15:59,841 --> 00:16:01,882
I only try to talk
during meals
398
00:16:01,966 --> 00:16:03,508
because it-it
keeps me from eating.
399
00:16:03,591 --> 00:16:05,341
It's a diet I made up.
400
00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:06,882
[Sarakeet]
Shut up, skinny bitch.
401
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,591
[squawks]
402
00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:10,550
♪ dramatic drum music ♪
403
00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:12,966
I tell you what,
Tara's sister.
404
00:16:13,049 --> 00:16:14,508
"Sah-ra."
405
00:16:14,591 --> 00:16:16,424
Actually, Sarah.
406
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:18,550
I go by Sarah now.
407
00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:20,299
I don't care
what it rhymes with.
408
00:16:20,383 --> 00:16:25,508
♪♪♪
409
00:16:26,591 --> 00:16:31,258
How would you like
your turn in the limelight...
410
00:16:31,341 --> 00:16:33,299
Sarah?
411
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:36,299
♪ jaunty piano music ♪
412
00:16:36,383 --> 00:16:38,466
[announcer] It's that time,
pickle pals.
413
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:41,132
Astronotter, Ennui Le Triste,
The Oops,
414
00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:43,174
and all their friends
invite you to take
415
00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:45,132
the hand of the loved one
sitting next to you
416
00:16:45,216 --> 00:16:47,550
and brace yourselves
for a trip down
417
00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:49,049
Pickle Barrel Falls.
418
00:16:49,132 --> 00:16:51,258
[cheers and applause]
419
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:56,299
♪♪♪
420
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,049
[laughter]
421
00:16:58,132 --> 00:17:01,633
Disaster! Monsieur Pickles
has gone missing!
422
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,091
[The Oops] Without him,
we cannot survive.
423
00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:06,424
- [Astronotter gibbers]
- [Ennui Le Triste] Maybe,
424
00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:07,716
with the help
of Tara Lipinski,
425
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,591
we can locate him.
426
00:17:09,675 --> 00:17:11,758
[cheers and applause]
427
00:17:11,841 --> 00:17:13,966
Did you and Grandma
ever fight?
428
00:17:14,049 --> 00:17:17,174
Oh, all the time.
429
00:17:17,258 --> 00:17:20,633
She cheated on me.
Then I cheated on her.
430
00:17:20,716 --> 00:17:22,716
Then we got a divorce.
431
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,550
She took the cat. Hmm.
432
00:17:25,633 --> 00:17:27,466
She got in a car
to go visit her sister
433
00:17:27,550 --> 00:17:29,383
for a few weeks.
434
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:30,966
Nine days later,
the cat came back,
435
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,550
but we never saw
Grandma again.
436
00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:35,424
Anyway, don't worry.
437
00:17:35,508 --> 00:17:37,758
My wife had
severe mental issues,
438
00:17:37,841 --> 00:17:40,258
not like your mother.
439
00:17:40,341 --> 00:17:42,258
- [Pickles-san] No, no, no!
- [Deirdre] Yes! Yes!
440
00:17:42,341 --> 00:17:44,424
[Pickles-san] No, no!
stop, stop, stop, stop!
441
00:17:44,508 --> 00:17:45,591
- [Deirdre] Yes! Yes! Yes!
- [Pickles-san] Stop, stop!
442
00:17:45,675 --> 00:17:48,591
[Deirdre] Yes, damn it! Yes!
443
00:17:48,675 --> 00:17:50,132
Are you okay?
444
00:17:55,258 --> 00:17:58,091
I'm sorry. I thought we were
both enjoying it.
445
00:18:34,466 --> 00:18:36,132
Did I break it?
446
00:18:37,966 --> 00:18:39,675
[man] Here you are.
447
00:18:39,758 --> 00:18:41,800
Mr. Pickles,
please, enjoy.
448
00:18:41,882 --> 00:18:43,800
- Thank you so much.
- Thanks.
449
00:18:43,882 --> 00:18:45,007
We will.
450
00:18:56,758 --> 00:18:58,550
Have we eaten here before?
451
00:18:58,633 --> 00:19:00,299
I don't think so.
452
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:03,299
♪ eerie ringing music ♪
453
00:19:03,383 --> 00:19:08,216
♪♪♪
454
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,633
[Will] Am I in trouble?
455
00:19:11,716 --> 00:19:14,049
[Jill] We're not angry.
456
00:19:14,132 --> 00:19:15,091
♪♪♪
457
00:19:15,174 --> 00:19:16,216
[Will] Why not?
458
00:19:17,341 --> 00:19:18,758
We just like pancakes more
459
00:19:18,841 --> 00:19:20,716
than we could ever
be angry at you.
460
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,591
When will your divorce
be official?
461
00:19:22,675 --> 00:19:24,508
Sometime down the road.
462
00:19:24,591 --> 00:19:26,466
Is it a long road?
463
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:27,800
I don't know.
464
00:19:32,758 --> 00:19:34,633
Do you want to see
a magic trick?
465
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,091
- Yes.
- Oh, you bet.
466
00:19:40,132 --> 00:19:41,675
First, I need to pee.
467
00:19:41,758 --> 00:19:42,800
Oh, yeah, keep us
468
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,174
on the edge of our seat much?
469
00:19:44,258 --> 00:19:45,508
[laughs]
470
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:49,299
If we eat real quick,
471
00:19:49,383 --> 00:19:51,341
we can catch the end
of Pickles on Ice.
472
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:52,882
Yeah?
473
00:19:52,966 --> 00:19:54,216
It's a super show,
474
00:19:54,299 --> 00:19:56,341
now that I made some changes
and stuff.
475
00:19:57,424 --> 00:19:59,258
[sighs]
476
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,882
I'm thinking of asking Peter
to move in.
477
00:20:02,966 --> 00:20:05,007
What?
478
00:20:05,091 --> 00:20:08,550
They say time and space
are both immutable,
479
00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:10,508
governed by laws
that cannot be broken.
480
00:20:10,591 --> 00:20:12,924
All I have to say
to that is...
481
00:20:13,007 --> 00:20:14,341
How are you doing that?
482
00:20:14,424 --> 00:20:15,966
...laws were meant
to be broken.
483
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,758
Seriously, how are you
doing that?
484
00:20:18,841 --> 00:20:21,591
♪ dark music ♪
485
00:20:21,675 --> 00:20:23,550
Doing what?
486
00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:25,132
That!
487
00:20:25,216 --> 00:20:27,007
A magician never reveals
his secrets.
488
00:20:27,091 --> 00:20:29,132
And that's why they call me...
489
00:20:29,216 --> 00:20:31,174
♪♪♪
490
00:20:31,258 --> 00:20:33,633
...the amazing Pickle-ini!
491
00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:38,591
♪♪♪
492
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,716
[Phil] You're hurting my arm!
493
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,758
[Jeff] That boy
has every reason to ask
494
00:20:44,841 --> 00:20:46,341
for everything
and doesn't.
495
00:20:46,424 --> 00:20:48,174
You have no reason
to ask for anything,
496
00:20:48,258 --> 00:20:49,550
and you can't keep
your mouth shut.
497
00:20:49,633 --> 00:20:51,007
Learn how to keep
your mouth shut.
498
00:20:51,091 --> 00:20:52,424
You hear me?
499
00:20:52,508 --> 00:20:54,132
Stop!
500
00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:57,800
Are you okay?
501
00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,007
- Yeah.
- Okay.
502
00:21:01,091 --> 00:21:02,216
I'm fine.
503
00:21:02,299 --> 00:21:03,675
Okay.
504
00:21:05,466 --> 00:21:06,716
Good trick, Will.
505
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,716
[cheers and applause]
506
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,675
♪ warm piano music ♪
507
00:21:12,758 --> 00:21:15,299
♪♪♪
508
00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:17,633
[Astronotter purrs]
509
00:21:17,716 --> 00:21:21,007
♪♪♪
510
00:21:21,091 --> 00:21:22,800
Quel fromage.
511
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:25,591
We will never find
Monsieur Pickles, Tara.
512
00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:26,924
Don't worry, Ennui.
513
00:21:27,007 --> 00:21:28,841
Mr. Pickles made a promise,
514
00:21:28,924 --> 00:21:31,174
and when Mr. Pickles
makes a promise,
515
00:21:31,258 --> 00:21:33,383
Mr. Pickles keeps
his promise.
516
00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:34,924
Go, Tara, go!
517
00:21:35,007 --> 00:21:37,091
Tara, I love you!
518
00:21:37,174 --> 00:21:39,800
[upbeat music playing
over speakers]
519
00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:45,049
♪♪♪
520
00:21:47,174 --> 00:21:50,091
[cheers and applause]
521
00:21:50,174 --> 00:21:52,675
♪♪♪
522
00:21:52,758 --> 00:21:53,758
Regardez!
523
00:21:53,841 --> 00:21:55,716
It is Monsieur Pickles!
524
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,758
We are saved!
525
00:21:57,841 --> 00:22:00,716
[Sara] That's right,
it's me, Mr. Pickles!
526
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,924
Hi!
Hey!
527
00:22:04,007 --> 00:22:06,882
[high-pitched ringing,
heartbeat thumping]
528
00:22:08,924 --> 00:22:12,550
♪♪♪
529
00:22:12,633 --> 00:22:14,132
I'm sorry, but the show
530
00:22:14,216 --> 00:22:15,841
just didn't make sense
without you.
531
00:22:15,924 --> 00:22:19,091
♪♪♪
532
00:22:19,174 --> 00:22:20,924
You promised.
533
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:24,466
♪♪♪
534
00:22:24,550 --> 00:22:26,383
You promised!
535
00:22:26,466 --> 00:22:31,341
♪♪♪
536
00:22:54,550 --> 00:22:57,132
[negative beeps on cell phone]
537
00:22:57,216 --> 00:23:00,800
♪♪♪
538
00:23:00,882 --> 00:23:02,716
Gosh darn it.
539
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,508
♪♪♪
540
00:23:06,591 --> 00:23:09,466
♪ video game music ♪
541
00:23:09,550 --> 00:23:14,466
♪♪♪
542
00:23:18,091 --> 00:23:20,758
[upbeat music playing
over speakers]
543
00:23:20,841 --> 00:23:25,924
♪♪♪
544
00:23:26,341 --> 00:23:29,299
♪ video game music ♪
545
00:23:29,383 --> 00:23:33,216
♪♪♪
546
00:23:33,299 --> 00:23:34,924
[upbeat music playing
over speakers]
547
00:23:35,007 --> 00:23:36,716
Okay, Sarah,
you can do this.
548
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:37,675
I believe in you.
549
00:23:37,758 --> 00:23:41,882
♪♪♪
550
00:23:41,966 --> 00:23:44,633
♪ video game music ♪
551
00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:46,924
♪♪♪
552
00:23:47,007 --> 00:23:49,091
Pshoo!
553
00:23:49,174 --> 00:23:50,091
[gasps]
554
00:23:50,174 --> 00:23:51,341
[crowd screaming]
555
00:23:51,424 --> 00:23:52,716
[upbeat music stops]
556
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:53,758
No!
557
00:23:53,841 --> 00:23:55,508
[all screaming]
558
00:23:55,591 --> 00:23:57,924
- Awesome!
- [man] Tara!
559
00:23:59,758 --> 00:24:01,508
It was an accident!
560
00:24:01,591 --> 00:24:03,174
It was
an accident!
561
00:24:03,258 --> 00:24:04,550
[Sara screams]
562
00:24:04,633 --> 00:24:05,716
It's all my fault.
563
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,550
I looked away!
564
00:24:08,633 --> 00:24:10,882
There's something wrong,
Brian.
565
00:24:10,966 --> 00:24:13,841
♪ disquieting synth music ♪
566
00:24:13,924 --> 00:24:18,633
♪♪♪
567
00:24:18,716 --> 00:24:21,341
♪ eight-bit version
of music from ice show ♪
568
00:24:21,424 --> 00:24:26,341
♪♪♪
569
00:24:26,391 --> 00:24:30,941
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