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Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,657
I've had the best time hanging
out with the both of you.
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00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,920
I think it's official
that we're a squad. Totally.
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00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,574
REBECCA:
When we stick together, I'm pretty convinced
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00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:10,749
there's nothing we can't do.
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00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,099
I love you guys.
I really do.
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00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,535
You can talk to me, D-Money.
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00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:14,840
It's about me
and White Josh,
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00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,364
and you're so obsessed
with us, and...
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00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:19,149
O... M... G... What?!
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00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,195
You guys are my #goals.
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00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,761
I literally cannot
with you guys.
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00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,633
You give me all the feels.
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00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,243
What are you doing here?
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00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:27,897
Heather texted me,
and she asked me to come.
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00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:30,073
I wanted to see my friend.Friends?
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00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:32,249
I thought you
didn't want to be.I thought youdidn't want to be.
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00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:34,860
Do you think I'm a bad mom?You're not the most
attentive parent.
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00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,384
Brendan's my weed guy.
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PAULA:
I thought you guys were just
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dead weight
slowing down the minivan.
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00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,997
But I was wrong.
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00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,216
[laughs]
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00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:45,784
♪ Meet Rebecca
25
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:49,005
♪ She's the coolest girl
in the world, wait ♪
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00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,226
♪ Wrong Rebecca
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00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:54,663
♪ It's this one over here
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00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:57,535
♪ She's spunky, she's sweet,
a generous friend ♪
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00:00:57,579 --> 00:01:00,103
♪ Oh, but there
she looks kind of mean ♪
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00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:01,800
Hmm.♪ Okay, she's snarky
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00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,933
♪ Sarcastic and a...
What? ♪
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00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:07,763
♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪
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00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:10,722
♪ Meet Rebecca
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00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:13,595
♪ She's too hard
to summarize ♪
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00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:16,119
♪ So let's go back
to Other Rebecca. ♪
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Don't look. I'm behind you.
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Okay, behold,
my newest stroke of genius,
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the reason
I assembled you all here
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for this #GirlGroupHangout.
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Pretzel pairings with wine!
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[gasps]
Ooh!
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00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:34,790
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh!
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00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,313
Okay, so we have
a Parmesan and pinot.
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Ooh!Ooh!
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A Roquefort and Riesling.
46
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:42,145
Oh, wait. No, that's for you.
That's for you. Uh-huh.
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00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,278
And my personal favorite--
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00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,584
Manchego and merlot.
49
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:47,977
Ooh.
[chuckles]
50
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,979
Oh, look at you,
Miss Entrepreneur.
51
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,546
You are glowing.
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00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,374
Yeah, I'm really happy lately.
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00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,940
I really love this job,
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00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:57,073
and Dr. Akopian says
I'm doing well,
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00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,554
and volunteering at the jail
is going great.
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00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:03,166
I just feel really grounded
and centered, you know?
57
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,951
Ladies, ladies, ladies,
no, no, no, no.
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00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:08,171
It's sip and nibble,
sip and nibble.
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00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,260
What's that look for?
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00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:12,480
Oh, Heather,
are you getting divorced?
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00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,656
Oof, I'm sorry.
We all saw it coming.
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00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,005
What? No.
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00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:17,572
You did? No.
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00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,183
Um, I have news.
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00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,358
Is it that you're getting us
a new vibrator?
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00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,055
'Cause the old one's
on its last legs.
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00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:25,101
You don't still
use my vibrator.
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00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,233
No, I do not.
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00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,582
Uh, I'm just gonna say it.
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00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:31,325
So, um, Hector and I bought
a condo in El Segundo.
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So,
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we're moving.
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Oh.Yeah.
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00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,115
He got this great job
at a surf camp down there,
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00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,422
and I've always wanted
to live at the beach, so...
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00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,772
Wow.[chuckles]
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00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,252
Wow, wow,
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00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,210
wow. This is
really big
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00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:49,081
and an adult step.
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I mean, you're married.
Now you're buying real estate.
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00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,303
It's huge. Right, Paula?
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00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:54,826
That's kind of crazy,
right, Valencia?
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00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,654
I'm moving
to New York.
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00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,439
[chuckles]
Yeah, okay. That's funny.
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00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,180
Beth and I got
an offer to work
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00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,746
at a huge party planning
company.
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00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:05,446
We rented a tiny apartment
the size of my current closet,
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00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:06,969
but it's the Big Apple.
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00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,101
Big Apple, small apartment.
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00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,103
Wait, both of you are moving?
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00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:12,888
At the same time?
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00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,237
Okay.
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00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,630
Wow. Um,
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00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,545
I, uh-- I don't
know what to say.
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00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:20,678
Wow. You guys have
a lot of stuff figured out.
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00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,027
Valencia
and Heather
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00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,420
and Pa-- I mean, Paula,
let's not forget you.
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00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:24,900
You're about to graduate
from law school.
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00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,423
It's amazing
for all of you.
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00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:29,034
Mazel, mazel!
Mazel to all!
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00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:31,515
We've been trying to decide
how to break it to you,
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00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:34,692
but, really, it's not
such a big deal. I mean,No.
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00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:37,260
Heather's basically
just moving across town.Yeah.
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00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,827
I'm still gonna be working
for Home Base.Mm-hmm.
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The El Segundo Home Base
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was already one
of my Home Bases.
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00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,962
Now it'll just be my
home base Home Base,
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00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:46,443
and the West Covina Home Base
will be my second base.
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00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,097
Or segundobase.
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[chuckles]: Segundo
base.
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Yeah, we can all text
and talk on the phone
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00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,841
and FaceTime.
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00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:54,190
Plus, I'm coming home
for the holidays.
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I already booked my ticket.
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00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,411
Oh, my God.
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PAULA: Okay, Cookie, I can see
this is difficult for you.
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00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,460
Scott and I lived
in three other crappy suburbs
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00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,810
before we lived
in this crappy suburb.
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00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:08,683
And... I've said good-bye
to a lot of people.
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00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:11,338
And you get used
to it.
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00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:13,514
You say hello, you say good-bye,
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00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:16,865
and you just try to treasure
the moments in between.
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00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,823
Yeah. Yes, you're right.
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00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,521
That's what I'm doing right now.
I am treasuring
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00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,523
and savoring.
I mean, you know,
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00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:23,611
it's a little hard for me.
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00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,352
It kind of feels like I'm...
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00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:26,788
losing two friends at once.
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00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,659
But I will be
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00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:32,707
cheering you all on
very sincerely from...
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00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,231
my small, unprofitable
pretzel store,
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00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,320
with my no boyfriend,
having not had sex
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00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,713
since before the slammer,
because-- oh, right--
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00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:40,367
I was also in jail.
[laughing]
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00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,460
PAULA:
You should've seen the look
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00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,549
on Rebecca's face.
I felt so bad for her.
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00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:51,900
[clicks tongue]It was like when you dropped
your cotton candy in the potty
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00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,336
and you were so sad.
139
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,643
Right. But then I-I picked it
back up and I ate it.
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00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,471
[laughs]
[chuckles, sighs]
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00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,517
Um, speaking of big news,
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00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,084
I have some.
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00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,478
You gonna stop calling Tommy
"General Buttface Jackson"?
144
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:06,131
Uh, he loves that. No.
145
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,437
You are finally going to...
146
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,439
You ever heard of,
uh, Peeps for Peace?
147
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,442
Sure. Yeah, they're-they're
kind of like the Peace Corps.
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00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:14,052
What about 'em?
Did you...
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00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:15,706
read an article about
'em or something?
150
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:19,493
No, no, no.
I-I applied and got in.
151
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:22,147
I'm just waiting
on my assignment.
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00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:23,497
I'm excited to see
where I get to go.
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00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,150
Might be pretty far.
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00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:28,153
What, like... Denver?
155
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:29,764
No, no,
like, uh...
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00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:33,115
like South America or Africa.
157
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:37,206
[stammers]
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00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,382
I just, you know, thought
we were in a phase
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00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:40,862
of telling each other
stuff... [stammers]
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00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,603
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know. I just...
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00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:43,952
I thought... I thought
you might be upset, so...
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00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:46,128
Why would I be upset?
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00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:48,609
Be-Because we just
kind of got close,
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00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,437
and now I'm-I'm leaving.
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00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,178
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
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00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:55,355
No. I'm happy for you.
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00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,530
I'm happy for me.
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00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:57,531
Yeah?
Yeah.
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00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,489
I've got a kid
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00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,578
who's-who's gonna go
super far away
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00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,320
and make a big-ass difference
on this planet
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00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,582
for...
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00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,410
how long?
Uh,
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00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,500
anywhere between five
and ten years.
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00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,547
Good.
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00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:16,419
Good.
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00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,029
Good.
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00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,031
[chuckles]
By the way,
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00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,772
don't tell your dad
about this pie,
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00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,384
because he is an
emotional eater.
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00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,515
I can see you're upset.
182
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:26,951
I'm not upset. Not at all.
183
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,953
I am proud.
This is... this is...
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00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:31,391
this is an achievement.
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00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,958
I mean, any mother
would be proud. Right.
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00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:36,308
Like I... like I always say,
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00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:38,441
you say hello,
188
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,617
you say good-bye,
189
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,532
and you just try to...
190
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:45,970
treasure the m...
191
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,624
[sighs]
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00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,412
Just...
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00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,111
[exhales]
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00:06:57,939 --> 00:07:00,637
I can't go back from paternity
leave until I binge this show.
195
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,726
[chuckles]Everyone has seen it,
and they've already said
196
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,075
they're gonna spoil
everything for me.
197
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:05,555
Hector loves this show.
198
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:06,817
What is it about again?
199
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,819
It's a British cop thing
200
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,821
with a child murder
in a fishing village.Ooh.
201
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,562
Okay.
Yeah. And it stars
202
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:15,609
that Swedish actress
and that Scottish guy.
203
00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,959
Okay.And some episodes
are two hours
204
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,701
and some are 30 minutes.Wow. All right.
Sounds good.
205
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,224
Let's binge it up.
206
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,574
All righty.
207
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:27,229
♪ Hey, it's not weird we spend
so much time together,
208
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,449
is it?No. Besides,
209
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,015
that murder's
not gonna solve itself.
210
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,364
[chuckles]
211
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:34,497
You do realize we don't
solve the murder, right?
212
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,804
Oh, come on.
Have some fun.
213
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,764
I don't know
what's wrong with me.
214
00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:42,592
It's a normal reaction.
215
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:45,813
Your roommate's moving out,
your friend's moving away.
216
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:48,250
Of course
you're feeling low and sad.
217
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,644
No, it's not that.
218
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,602
Can I tell you something?
219
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,082
Okay.
220
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,953
What I'm about to say
is-is horrible.
221
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:57,999
It's all right.
222
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:04,179
[mumbling]: I see life as
a contest, and I'm now losing.
223
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,529
What? R-Rebecca,
I-I didn't hear you.
224
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,878
[whispers]:
I feel less than
225
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:10,402
when others are doing
better than me.
226
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,883
Okay. I'll come sit next to you.
227
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:15,799
[quietly]:
Okay.
228
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,627
I want
to cryogenically freeze
229
00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:19,586
all my friends
to buy me some time
230
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,849
to find a better career
and a life partner.
231
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:23,590
And then, when I'm ready,
I'll wake them up,
232
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:26,549
and I'll throw a party for all
of our mutual milestones.
233
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,638
That is so messed up.
234
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:30,292
Aw!
[chuckles] I'm kidding.
235
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:32,860
Feeling competitive
is just human nature.
236
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,644
It's normal.
237
00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:35,863
Is it?
Yes.
238
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,952
[exhales]
And it makes sense that you
239
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,258
would feel... behind.
240
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,825
You are,
in a sense,
241
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:43,131
a little behind.
242
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:44,132
[chuckles]
243
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,568
Um, wait, what?
244
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:46,743
You have overcome
245
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,746
challenges other people
haven't faced,
246
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:54,751
and you have wisely taken
the time to do the hard work.
247
00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:57,058
It makes sense that
some of your friends
248
00:08:57,101 --> 00:09:00,844
might hit some early adult
milestones before you.
249
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,107
Oh. [laughs]
250
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,109
No, it's funny,
'cause I was saying I was behind
251
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:07,590
so you would say, "No, no, no,
you're not behind."
252
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,592
But you said that I am.
It's fine. No, it's just--
253
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,159
It's slightly jarring
when a medical professional
254
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:14,075
confirms your worst fears,
but that makes sense.
255
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:17,774
My friends are,
in some senses...
256
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:20,603
at a more advanced stage
in their lives.
257
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,648
Exactly.
258
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,085
So...
259
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,869
maybe what I need to do
260
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,088
is hang out
with some different people
261
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:29,046
who are more where I'm at.Rebecca,
262
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,788
I am not suggesting that
you replace your friends.
263
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,398
No, no, no, no. I wouldn't
do that. I mean, that's--
264
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,531
I'm not saying that I would do
that. That's not what I'm doing.
265
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,663
I'm just adding
to my friend group
266
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,621
with people
who don't scare me.
267
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,276
REBECCA:
So...
268
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:42,756
Maya, AJ,
I've brought you both here
269
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,845
to ask you
a very important question.
270
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:48,718
Have either of you considered
owning a condo?
271
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:00,948
[gasps]
272
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,166
Oh...
273
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,385
What's going on in here?
What are you doing?
274
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,648
Brendan doesn't sell
drugs anymore.
275
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:09,260
Which is kind of a bummer,
'cause he was my weed guy.
276
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,218
Scott, we have an emergency.
277
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,046
Our son is going far away.
278
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,264
Super far.
279
00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:14,875
And we're so proud of him.
280
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:17,660
Screw proud.
I just started liking that kid.
281
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,271
I need to find something
to make him stay.
282
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,969
[gasps quietly]
283
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,014
Oh. Oh.
284
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,668
A yearbook page.
285
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:28,062
I think I may have just found
the mother lode.
286
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,716
[gasps]
287
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,369
Vanessa Rodriguez.
288
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:32,675
Oh, yeah.
289
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,677
I remember her. He
really liked her.
290
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:37,898
I remember her, too.
I used to think she was his OTP.
291
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,464
His over the pants?
292
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:42,250
One true pairing. Oh, God.
293
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:45,122
This is great. This is just
the ammunition I need.
294
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:48,125
Babe, I'm begging you,
do not interfere in his life.
295
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:50,824
He's made a good decision
for once. Let him be.
296
00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:53,696
You're right. I... I
shouldn't interfere.
297
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,786
I-I learned that lesson
a million times.
298
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,483
I'm just gonna let him
299
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:01,399
fly away and...
300
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,837
be free.
301
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,882
Exactly.
302
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,405
Glad you understand.
303
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,669
I do.
304
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,327
[whispers]:
Fly free, my ass.
305
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,071
DARRYL: Ah, it's
nice to be out
306
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:22,464
on the first cool
day of the year.
307
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,422
WHITE JOSH:
Yep, only 85 degrees.
308
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,902
It's a very simple question.
309
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:28,992
Have you considered
owning a condo?
310
00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:31,778
Oh, no way. I'm not even sure
what a condo is.
311
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,170
[chuckles]
312
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,999
Is that Rebecca?
313
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:38,610
[gasps] Wait. Back it up.
Back the car up.
314
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:39,916
Hit a lamppost.
Call your mother.
315
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,440
You're getting towed. [gasps]
316
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:45,574
Are Darryl and White Josh
back together? Yay!
317
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:48,229
WhiteJoshfeather is my OTP.
318
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:50,666
That means one true pairing.No, I know what it is
319
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,059
'cause I'm-I'm super young,
as well.
320
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,408
Um, and no, I don't think
321
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,539
they are back together.Huh?
322
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,237
But let's get
back to me.
323
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,760
AJ: Rebecca,
hold on.
324
00:11:57,804 --> 00:12:00,154
Are you telling me
that adorable family
325
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,939
that I'm about to Pinterest
all over my Life Goals board
326
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,549
is not a couple?
327
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:07,248
Yeah. They're not
back together.
328
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,815
[sighs]
329
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:12,253
MAYA: It's so sad. Look
at them, they're so cute.
330
00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:14,821
Aw.
331
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,692
Something like this? This?Like this?
332
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,346
Darryl says
they're just friends,
333
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:20,217
but nobody spends
that much time together
334
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:21,915
if they're not hooking up.
335
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,265
[chuckles]
336
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,397
Just look at those two.
337
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,315
Just get back together!
338
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,404
Everyone wants you
back together. Come on!
339
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,798
What?MAYA: Yeah!
Stop pretending
340
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,669
you guys aren't in love!
341
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:40,324
Why is everyone yelling at us?I don't know.
342
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:43,414
Mm-mm. Not okay.
343
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,286
Let's go.All right.
344
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:46,853
Mm-mm.
345
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,377
Happy birthday, Connor.
346
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:50,944
Oh, boy. They're on the move.
347
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,597
Why are they coming over here?Oh, my goodness.
348
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,948
I don't know.MAYA: We've all
had enough of this.
349
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:58,081
Okay, okay.
hat's going on?
350
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:01,606
Come on, you two. Your
relationship is important to us.
351
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:02,694
Just give in,
352
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:05,610
and get in the spirit!Yeah.
353
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,787
[upbeat country intro plays]
354
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,835
[cheering, whooping]
355
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,663
Yee-haw!
[whoops]
356
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,491
Dear God, what's happening?
357
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,014
[Southern accent]:
It's your wedding day!
358
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,015
No, but we're broken up.
359
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:20,234
Yep!
[Maya groans]
360
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,236
♪ You say you're broken up
361
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,412
♪ That it's over Yeah.
362
00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:26,631
♪ Yes, you've both been
'bout as stubborn as can be ♪
363
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,720
You tell 'em, Maya.
364
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:31,462
♪ But we see from afar
just how cute you are ♪
365
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,987
♪ And the thought of it
makes everyone all squee ♪
366
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,510
♪ Squee, squee, squee
367
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:42,996
♪ We don't know why
you're fighting the inevitable ♪With ya, Timmy.
368
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,607
♪ It's clear to us
that you both are soul mates ♪
369
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:48,218
♪ Plus, you're kind of
the only two ♪
370
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:52,440
♪ LGBTQ people I know,
so to me it's clearly fate ♪
371
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,833
♪ Fate, fate, fate
372
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,617
You need to get out more, Tim.
373
00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:58,707
♪ It's confirmed ♪ It's confirmed
374
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,883
♪ It's official ♪ It's official
375
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,494
♪ The group mind
has decided you're in love ♪
376
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,975
♪ Court adjourned ♪ Court adjourned
377
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,195
♪ Now kiss a little ♪ Kiss a little
378
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,414
♪ The mass mob has declared
that you're in love ♪
379
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,025
♪ Love, love, love
380
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:14,462
Rebecca, don't you have bigger
problems going on right now?
381
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:16,029
Yes, and this is a
welcome distraction.
382
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:19,989
♪ Now, you might say
we just need a distraction ♪
383
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,251
You just said that.Shh.
384
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,993
♪ From the stress
and drama of our lives ♪
385
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,561
♪ But I go, "La, la, la, la, la"
when you swear ♪
386
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,476
♪ That there's nothing there
387
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:30,870
♪ Your love's the only reason
I survive ♪I'm sorry,
388
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,002
what was your name again?Who is this guy?
389
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,699
♪ It's confirm-ed ♪ It's confirm-ed
390
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,745
♪ It's official ♪ It's official
391
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,313
♪ The group mind
has decided you're in love ♪
392
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,402
♪ Say yes to long-term ♪ Say yes
393
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:42,925
♪ Look what I whittled ♪ Hot dang
394
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,145
♪ The mass mob has declared
395
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,190
♪ That you're in love,
love, love, love ♪
396
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:49,627
♪ Everybody stretch,
time to dance ♪
397
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,674
[whoops]
398
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:55,807
Whoa.
399
00:14:58,462 --> 00:14:59,637
Ooh! Sorry.
Sorry.
400
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:00,725
I don't know where to go.I don't, either.
401
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,162
Hey, what are you guys
doing here?
402
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,468
We all want you
back together, too!
403
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:06,296
Who's this guy?I needed a dance partner,
404
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,820
and I've had a really hard week,
so please, let me have this.
405
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,605
Big fan. Great to
meet you. Big fan.
406
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,607
Okay.
407
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,522
Now let's dance.
408
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,884
WHITE JOSH:
Okay, we got the message.
409
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,277
DARRYL:
Go on with your lives.
410
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,060
Guys...
411
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,019
come on.
412
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,498
Okay, so,
413
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:35,717
this is just not about us
at all anymore.
414
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,675
No.
415
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:43,203
So, now they're
randomly doing ballet?
416
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,813
I guess so.
It's hard to follow.
417
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:48,817
[hip-hop music plays]
418
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,427
WHITE JOSH:
That's not even
419
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:51,428
the correct dance
language for this piece.
420
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,169
Come on!
421
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:56,956
Whoa...!
422
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:01,569
Stop it. Now, stop it. Come on.
423
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,136
Leave these guys alone.
424
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:05,573
For the record, it is possible
to be platonically friends
425
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:07,488
with someone
you've just broken up with.
426
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:09,446
Do you really believe that?
427
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:12,014
No, I just wanted
to be in the number.
428
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,581
Oh, wow!
429
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:15,670
♪
430
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,029
♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss
431
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,509
♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance
432
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,554
♪ Kiss, dance, kiss, dance
433
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,426
♪ Kiss, dance, kiss, dance,
kiss, dance ♪Okay.
434
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:33,731
♪ Yay All right.
435
00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:35,646
♪ It's confirmed ♪ Yee-haw
436
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:37,605
♪ It's official ♪ Yee-hoo
437
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:40,390
Let's get out of here.♪ The group mind has decided
438
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:43,219
♪ You're in love
439
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:44,525
Hey, where'd they go?Who cares?
440
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,092
♪ Horse. [horse neighing]
441
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,094
WHITE JOSH:
What is wrong with people?
442
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:50,487
I mean, why do they care
if we're together or not?
443
00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:52,315
Yeah, well, that has
nothing to do with us.
444
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,622
Yeah.
We know what we are to each other.
445
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,537
Yeah, that is their issue.
That is about them.
446
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,582
[phone chimes]Oh.
447
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:02,847
[laughs]
448
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,588
Look, Vic dressed up
449
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:05,720
for Hawaiian shirt day
at the gym.
450
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,461
What a dork.
451
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:08,897
I like Vic.
[chuckles]
452
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,768
He's the best trainer
at the gym besides you.
453
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,771
He doesn't grunt. Always puts
the weights down lightly.
454
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:16,252
Always lets me quit. [laughs][laughs]
455
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,124
I think
456
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:19,821
if he was 20 years older,
he'd be perfect for you.
457
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,997
Yeah, he might be perfect for me
right now.
458
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,259
We've been texting a little bit.
459
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,348
Yeah? You guys gonna go out?Yeah.
460
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:26,958
Yeah, yeah. At some point.
461
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,656
I just got so much
going on right now.
462
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:30,875
Speaking of which, can I drop by
tonight and do my laundry?
463
00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,268
The, uh, machines at my building
464
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,791
are a little less free
than yours.
465
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,271
[chuckles] Sure.While I'm there,
466
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,577
maybe we can watch
that new series
467
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,926
about toxic waste and cancer.
468
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,884
Oh, yeah, the one
that won Best Comedy.
469
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,583
Everybody dies. Add to queue.
470
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:45,499
Done.Mm.
471
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,675
REBECCA: So, what do you think
of my wine pairing?
472
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:50,982
You know, I'm not that into
blue and Bordeaux,
473
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,768
but that's just 'cause to me,
blue smells like blarf.
474
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:56,771
[laughs] That's such a funny
young person thing you just did.
475
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:59,817
Combining two words to make
a new word. It's so great.
476
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,602
[chuckles][phone chimes]
477
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,691
Hmm? One second.
478
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,693
Hmm.
479
00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:08,348
Oh, my roommate Heather
sent out an Evite.
480
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:10,089
Heather and Valencia are having
481
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:13,353
a farewell party at my house
on Saturday night.
482
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:14,745
That's funny.
I wasn't consulted.
483
00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,878
Mm.They probably thought
I'd be upset,
484
00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,445
but you know what? I don't care.
485
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:20,708
I don't care. It's fine.
486
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:23,406
Hey, it says bring whomever.
487
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,321
You guys want to come?Saturday?
488
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:26,540
[sighs] That's when I do
489
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,019
my evening intention
hikes with the friends
490
00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,544
from my intramural
three-legged race team.
491
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:33,416
Maya, you in, girl?
492
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,679
Girl, okay, normally I got you,
493
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:38,378
but I have my ironic
scrapbooking group Saturday.
494
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,684
Oh.
Yeah, this week we're collaging
495
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:42,730
with sexist shampoo ads
from the '70s.
496
00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:45,298
Feminism.
Yes.
497
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:49,302
Why don't you bring all
your friends to my house party?
498
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:51,608
Are you sure? It's,
like, ten people.
499
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:54,350
Mine would be, like, 12.
500
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,309
Bring whoever you want.
501
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,137
It is a party.
502
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:01,227
My therapist said...
503
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,098
Just bring-bring your friends.
504
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,100
The more the merrier.
505
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,189
[chuckles]:
Okay. Cool.
506
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,938
WOMAN:
Thank you.
507
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,723
Thank you so much. Enjoy.
508
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,161
Have a nice day.[gasps] Wow.
509
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,250
These are adorable.
510
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,686
[both laugh]
511
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:28,515
This pair says "hell"
and "no." That's great.
512
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,734
Oh, look at these.
"Boy" and "bye."
513
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,996
Mm-hmm.
[laughs]
514
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,217
Wait, Vanessa Rodriguez?
Is that you?
515
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,828
Yeah. Can I help you?
516
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:39,700
I'm Brendan Proctor's mom.
517
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:41,180
Oh, hi.
518
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,182
Hey, listen,
do you have a second
519
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,793
to talk about your OTP?
520
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:03,898
What are you guys doing?HEATHER:
Well, again,
521
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:05,813
I'm moving,
so I'm packing up my stuff.
522
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:06,988
I'm picking up some
stuff I left here
523
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,729
that I'm taking to New York.
524
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,819
Right, got it. I mean,
that is my skillet, though.
525
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,429
Okay, it's not a skillet.
It's a stock pot.
526
00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:14,996
And it has
my mother's name on it.
527
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:18,217
Okay, point taken.
Your mom puts her name on pots,
528
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,914
which is what you'll
probably be doing soon
529
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:22,395
since you're
basically mom age now.
530
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:23,831
You and I are the same age.
531
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,528
Yeah, and I'm younger.
532
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:27,704
Rebecca, you're being weird.
533
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:29,837
I'm being...
I'm sorry, what did you...?
534
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,404
I don't even recognize
that word anymore,
535
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,145
'cause the word is not "weird."
It's actually "fizzy" now.
536
00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:35,495
I'm sorry, what?
537
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:36,844
That's what
my young new friends say.
538
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:38,933
What new friends?Oh, you wouldn't know them.
539
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:40,500
They're these kids
Maya and AJ.
540
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:43,198
I know Maya and AJ.So do I.
541
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,505
Okay, well, that's cool.
542
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,855
So you know how, like, young
and cool and fizzy they are.
543
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:50,031
Your new friends are weird?
544
00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:51,815
Oh, my God. Centenarian.
545
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:54,470
Fizzy is a word that
means multiple things.
546
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:55,993
It's like "sick" or "bad"
547
00:20:56,037 --> 00:20:58,169
or "aloha" or "shalom."
548
00:20:58,213 --> 00:21:00,911
Uh, look, girl,
I know this is hard.
549
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:03,827
Yeah, and kind of triggering.Okay.
550
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:06,787
[chuckles] I... I appreciate
you guys worrying about me,
551
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:08,963
but, you know,
552
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,487
to play armchair psychiatrist
for a second,
553
00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:13,837
I think you're fixating
a little bit too much on me
554
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:15,491
rather than focus
on your own sadness.
555
00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:17,058
You guys are
saying good-bye
556
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:19,147
to the young and fizzy
parts of your lives--
557
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,105
good fizzy, not bad fizzy--
and you're thinking,
558
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,891
"Okay, now that I'm old and
boring, will life be as fun?"
559
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,894
And the answer is likely no.
560
00:21:26,937 --> 00:21:28,809
But the good news is
561
00:21:28,852 --> 00:21:30,985
you can live through
your fun friend, Becks,
562
00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:32,856
and you can follow me
on my Insta or my Finsta,
563
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:33,988
if I let you.
564
00:21:34,031 --> 00:21:35,337
It's a lot of
secret pictures
565
00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:36,599
of me doing all
of the drugs.
566
00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:38,209
Anyway, I got to go
to a pop-up candy museum
567
00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:39,907
and then a hookah bar and then
a party inside a photo booth.
568
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:41,256
So got to dip.
569
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,692
Oh, I'm sorry. "Dip"
means "bounce,"
570
00:21:42,736 --> 00:21:43,867
which means "peace out."
571
00:21:43,911 --> 00:21:45,869
Which means "leave."
572
00:21:45,913 --> 00:21:47,044
[door closes]
573
00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:49,699
She's being ridiculous.
We're not old.
574
00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:52,833
Not at all.
575
00:21:52,876 --> 00:21:54,835
Where is my back brace, though?
576
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:57,185
'Cause I have to lift
this dish box.
577
00:21:57,228 --> 00:22:00,231
[knocking at door]Oh. Wonder who that is.
578
00:22:05,019 --> 00:22:07,456
[gasps] Oh, my God.Hi.
579
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,153
This is the girl
580
00:22:09,197 --> 00:22:11,547
that I bought earrings from
earlier today.Hi.
581
00:22:11,591 --> 00:22:13,419
Oh, thank you so much
for coming by to drop them off.
582
00:22:13,462 --> 00:22:14,898
I really appreciate it.Of course.
583
00:22:14,942 --> 00:22:16,291
Hey, no, c-come in, come in.Okay.
584
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,685
Vanessa Rodriguez is here.Shh.
585
00:22:18,728 --> 00:22:21,078
Honey, don't be rude.Uh, yes, Paula,
586
00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:22,950
here are your custom earrings
that say "lawyer" and "bitch."
587
00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:24,125
Ooh!
588
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:27,215
Brendan?
589
00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:28,782
Is this your mom?Yeah.
590
00:22:28,825 --> 00:22:29,826
Yeah, yeah, that's, uh,
591
00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:31,132
that's my mom, that's my dad,
592
00:22:31,175 --> 00:22:32,916
and th-that's
General Buttface Jackson.
593
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,701
At your service.
594
00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:36,920
[chuckles]:
Well, what a funny coincidence
595
00:22:36,964 --> 00:22:38,487
that your mom, who
I've never met before,
596
00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:41,229
bought earrings from my kiosk
today. That's so weird.
597
00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:44,014
God, V, I-I haven't seen you
in a while.
598
00:22:44,058 --> 00:22:46,016
You look... you look amazing.
599
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,627
Well, you look pretty
good, yourself.
600
00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:48,932
Thank you.
601
00:22:48,976 --> 00:22:53,110
Listen, um, we have
a lot of meat loaf left over
602
00:22:53,154 --> 00:22:55,112
because Tommy's
weirdly vegetarian now.Oh.
603
00:22:55,156 --> 00:22:57,419
Will you join us?Well, I don't want to impose.
604
00:22:57,463 --> 00:22:58,812
No, no, no, you're not imposing.
605
00:22:58,855 --> 00:23:00,161
No. Get up, buddy.Tommy, take your plate.
606
00:23:00,204 --> 00:23:01,249
Get up.Just find another chair.
Come on. Okay.
607
00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:02,381
You're just gonna sit
right here.
608
00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,905
Okay. Thank you.Thank you.
609
00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:06,123
PAULA: Just sit
right next to Brendan.
610
00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,995
[chuckles]
611
00:23:08,038 --> 00:23:09,692
SCOTT:
What the hell are you doing?
612
00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:11,302
PAULA:
Shh!
613
00:23:11,346 --> 00:23:13,522
Not so loud.
The boys will hear you.
614
00:23:13,566 --> 00:23:15,524
What do you think
I'm doing?
615
00:23:15,568 --> 00:23:16,917
I'm trying to get Vanessa
and Brendan back together
616
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,006
so he won't leave.
617
00:23:19,049 --> 00:23:20,224
Look, I did not
offer her money
618
00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:23,053
or blackmail her.
I am just playing Cupid.
619
00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:24,707
That's nothing.
620
00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:28,494
Look, I understand
this is hard for you.
621
00:23:28,537 --> 00:23:30,496
This is hard for me, too.
Our guy is...
622
00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:32,628
He's moving on.Shh.
623
00:23:32,672 --> 00:23:35,326
But we can't be messing
with his life.
624
00:23:35,370 --> 00:23:37,416
[chuckles]If you don't call this off,
625
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:39,766
I will.Oh, you are not
calling off anything.
626
00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:43,117
You don't understand.
You're not Mom.
627
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,988
He grew in my stomach.
628
00:23:45,032 --> 00:23:49,253
His first sentence was,
"Wuv you, Mama."
629
00:23:49,297 --> 00:23:51,952
For the first four years
of his life,
630
00:23:51,995 --> 00:23:54,737
we were stapled together
unless I was at work.
631
00:23:54,781 --> 00:23:56,565
And then from the ages
of four to 18, I lost him
632
00:23:56,609 --> 00:23:59,612
to his stupid friends and knives
633
00:23:59,655 --> 00:24:01,744
and girls he never told me about
634
00:24:01,788 --> 00:24:03,877
and masturbation
and selling pot,
635
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,749
and now he's back,
and he likes me,
636
00:24:06,793 --> 00:24:09,926
and I wuv him more than ever.
637
00:24:09,970 --> 00:24:12,842
And I just... I don't want
to lose him yet, Scott. Please.
638
00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:14,975
Yeah, but I...
Scott.
639
00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:16,063
Please.
640
00:24:19,545 --> 00:24:22,069
WHITE JOSH:
[laughs] You're up, man.
641
00:24:22,112 --> 00:24:23,374
Wow.
642
00:24:23,418 --> 00:24:25,376
Okay, okay, attention,
everybody at the bar?
643
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,161
Vic here has another dart
to throw,
644
00:24:27,204 --> 00:24:29,598
and he's not afraid to
cause bodily harm, okay?
645
00:24:29,642 --> 00:24:31,600
Look out.
646
00:24:31,644 --> 00:24:34,168
This is it. This
is the big one.
647
00:24:34,211 --> 00:24:36,170
[quietly]: Big money,
big money...
648
00:24:36,213 --> 00:24:37,563
[dart skittering]
649
00:24:37,606 --> 00:24:39,216
Where did that one even go?
650
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:41,218
Um...That is unbelievable.
651
00:24:41,262 --> 00:24:43,133
Okay, buddy.
652
00:24:43,177 --> 00:24:45,135
Wow, you are bad at that.
653
00:24:45,179 --> 00:24:47,181
Actually, I just need
a little bit of a warm-up.
654
00:24:47,224 --> 00:24:48,704
[laughs]
655
00:24:48,748 --> 00:24:50,227
Hey, I didn't
get your RSVeep. Hey.
656
00:24:50,271 --> 00:24:51,577
Are you coming by
tomorrow night? Oh.
657
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,492
Right, going-away party.
Shoot, sorry.
658
00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:55,189
Yeah. Um,
heads-up, actually.
659
00:24:55,232 --> 00:24:57,104
Uh, Rebecca's kind of
having a tough time
660
00:24:57,147 --> 00:24:58,322
with everyone leaving.
661
00:24:58,366 --> 00:24:59,541
Yeah, that makes sense.
662
00:24:59,585 --> 00:25:01,108
You guys are both moving.
That's hard.
663
00:25:01,151 --> 00:25:03,850
So true. So brutal.
664
00:25:03,893 --> 00:25:05,155
Trutal.
Trutal.
665
00:25:05,199 --> 00:25:06,243
[chuckles]
You know, I don't know you,
666
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:08,115
but you can also come.Oh.
667
00:25:08,158 --> 00:25:10,247
Thank you.
Yeah.
668
00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:13,033
Who's Trutal? Who's Rebecca?Ah.
669
00:25:13,076 --> 00:25:16,645
Trutal is no one. Uh, Rebecca
is someone she lives with.
670
00:25:16,689 --> 00:25:18,473
Heather, actually,
Heather's moving away.
671
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,171
And, uh, she's married
to a friend of mine, Hector.
672
00:25:21,215 --> 00:25:22,433
And they have this other friend,
673
00:25:22,477 --> 00:25:24,087
Valencia,
who's also moving away.
674
00:25:24,131 --> 00:25:27,395
And, uh...
Yeah, this is boring, right?
675
00:25:27,438 --> 00:25:30,006
This is all people
you don't know.No, I'm interested.
676
00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:32,661
It's your life. We're getting
to know each other.
677
00:25:32,705 --> 00:25:35,272
So tell me about who is leaving.
678
00:25:35,316 --> 00:25:37,797
Where do I start? Um...
679
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,015
Hmm.
680
00:25:39,059 --> 00:25:40,277
Okay.
681
00:25:40,321 --> 00:25:41,670
Sorry, that took forever.
682
00:25:41,714 --> 00:25:44,194
Oh, was it a bad date?Uh, mm, no.
683
00:25:44,238 --> 00:25:46,545
I like him. He just wanted to
know everything about my life.
684
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:48,285
So many questions.
685
00:25:48,329 --> 00:25:51,071
Well, that-that sounds like
a normal first date. A good one.
686
00:25:51,114 --> 00:25:53,595
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
687
00:25:53,639 --> 00:25:56,076
The whole time I was just
thinking about coming back here
688
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:57,730
and kicking off my shoes
689
00:25:57,773 --> 00:25:59,688
and hanging out with somebody
who already knew all that stuff.
690
00:25:59,732 --> 00:26:01,951
[sighs]
691
00:26:04,084 --> 00:26:06,347
Uh, what the hell was that?
692
00:26:09,263 --> 00:26:10,177
Get out.
693
00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:17,445
You have got to get out.What are you talking about?
694
00:26:17,488 --> 00:26:20,796
You're using our friendship
like a cocoon.
695
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,146
I-It's like that sci-fi series
that we watched
696
00:26:23,190 --> 00:26:25,975
where the alien lived
in that waterproof chrysalis.
697
00:26:26,019 --> 00:26:28,499
I am not Gemini.
You take that back.Okay. Mm-mm.
698
00:26:28,543 --> 00:26:30,632
He destroyed an
entire continent
699
00:26:30,676 --> 00:26:33,374
because he was so afraid
of leaving his warm...
700
00:26:33,417 --> 00:26:35,419
comfortable cocoon.
701
00:26:35,463 --> 00:26:38,422
Okay, yeah, I'm hearing
that. I am hearing that now.
702
00:26:38,466 --> 00:26:40,424
Look, Joshua,
I love having you around,
703
00:26:40,468 --> 00:26:42,296
but people are right.
704
00:26:42,339 --> 00:26:44,298
We spend an awful lot
of time together,
705
00:26:44,341 --> 00:26:47,693
but we know it's not gonna be
anything more than a friendship.
706
00:26:47,736 --> 00:26:49,825
I mean, a really great
friendship, but...
707
00:26:49,869 --> 00:26:51,435
we don't want it to be the thing
708
00:26:51,479 --> 00:26:53,568
that keeps us
from meeting someone new.
709
00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:55,265
Either one of us.
710
00:26:55,309 --> 00:26:57,224
What about all our shows?
711
00:26:57,267 --> 00:26:59,052
Well, I could give you
the passwords.
712
00:26:59,095 --> 00:27:02,359
But it's the golden
age of television.
713
00:27:02,403 --> 00:27:04,666
I understand what I'm doing.
714
00:27:04,710 --> 00:27:07,016
All right.
715
00:27:07,060 --> 00:27:09,932
Now, Netflix...
716
00:27:09,976 --> 00:27:12,413
is "hebbybebbynetflix."
717
00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:13,675
Hebbybebbynetflix.
718
00:27:13,719 --> 00:27:18,158
HBO Go is "hebbybebbyhbo."Mm-hmm. Oh, okay.
719
00:27:18,201 --> 00:27:19,986
Hulu is... Hmm?No, I think I got it.
720
00:27:20,029 --> 00:27:22,205
Oh, okay. I mean,
if you think you got it.I think I got it.
721
00:27:22,249 --> 00:27:24,425
Yeah, you established a
pretty clear pattern there.
722
00:27:24,468 --> 00:27:27,036
It's "hebbybebbyhulu."
I knew you wanted to know.
723
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,908
PAULA:
This is just so great.
724
00:27:28,951 --> 00:27:31,562
It has been two days,
725
00:27:31,606 --> 00:27:34,478
and Vanessa and Brendan have
been out three times already.
726
00:27:34,522 --> 00:27:35,741
I know, it's been a minute
727
00:27:35,784 --> 00:27:37,220
since he went out with someone
that often.
728
00:27:37,264 --> 00:27:40,354
Yeah. The only bummer is
is if they get really serious,
729
00:27:40,397 --> 00:27:42,051
what will he do
730
00:27:42,095 --> 00:27:43,400
about Peeps for Peace?
731
00:27:43,444 --> 00:27:45,620
[sighs]
Long-distance is so hard.
732
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,101
Ask The Notebook. [door opens]
733
00:27:48,144 --> 00:27:50,364
Oh, hello, lovebirds.
734
00:27:50,407 --> 00:27:52,758
How was your date?
735
00:27:52,801 --> 00:27:54,368
Pretty good.
736
00:27:54,411 --> 00:27:55,674
Really?
737
00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:57,632
Yeah, she's pregnant.
738
00:27:59,112 --> 00:28:00,200
Awesome date.
739
00:28:00,243 --> 00:28:01,505
What? No. You just started...
740
00:28:01,549 --> 00:28:03,812
You can't...
but you can't know that quickly.
741
00:28:03,856 --> 00:28:05,858
I know. I ovulated yesterday,
742
00:28:05,901 --> 00:28:07,381
and I felt the
implantation today.
743
00:28:07,424 --> 00:28:08,556
What?
BRENDAN: Yeah.
744
00:28:08,599 --> 00:28:10,732
So, obviously,
Peeps for Peace is out.
745
00:28:10,776 --> 00:28:12,691
I'll have to go back
to dealing drugs.
746
00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:15,389
Now that weed's legal,
guess I'll move on to oxy?
747
00:28:15,432 --> 00:28:16,433
No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
748
00:28:16,477 --> 00:28:17,478
You were... you were so excited
749
00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:18,566
about Peeps for Peace.
750
00:28:18,609 --> 00:28:21,090
And-and it was such
a noble decision,
751
00:28:21,134 --> 00:28:22,396
and-and I was so happy for you.
752
00:28:22,439 --> 00:28:24,180
And... Oh, my God.
753
00:28:24,224 --> 00:28:25,704
A spontaneous pregnancy?
754
00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:27,706
A-a baby?
755
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:32,754
Okay.
756
00:28:32,798 --> 00:28:34,800
You guys got me.
757
00:28:34,843 --> 00:28:36,497
[all chuckle]You got me.
758
00:28:36,540 --> 00:28:38,107
Who was in on this?
759
00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:39,979
Right.
760
00:28:40,022 --> 00:28:42,503
The unprotected sex and drug
storylines were my idea.
761
00:28:42,546 --> 00:28:44,026
I see.
762
00:28:44,070 --> 00:28:46,376
He got it from the series
about the teenage death pact.
763
00:28:46,420 --> 00:28:48,335
Eight episodes. So sad.
764
00:28:48,378 --> 00:28:50,903
They had to have counselors come
to the middle school.
765
00:28:50,946 --> 00:28:52,600
Vanessa called me
after you went to see her.
766
00:28:52,643 --> 00:28:55,429
So I, uh, roped Dad in
and Buttface
767
00:28:55,472 --> 00:28:57,648
and hatched a plan.
768
00:28:57,692 --> 00:29:00,434
You got me.
769
00:29:00,477 --> 00:29:02,044
Mom, I know you love me.
770
00:29:02,088 --> 00:29:04,960
I love you, too,
but I got to go.
771
00:29:05,004 --> 00:29:06,440
I know.
772
00:29:06,483 --> 00:29:09,225
I was just...
trying to buy some time.
773
00:29:09,269 --> 00:29:10,749
I know.
774
00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:13,316
[sighs] I mean, come on,
it was just, like, yesterday
775
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,231
that you were
an itty-bitty baby.
776
00:29:15,275 --> 00:29:18,147
[voice breaking]: And I could
hold all of you in one arm.
777
00:29:18,191 --> 00:29:19,496
Oh, Mom.
778
00:29:19,540 --> 00:29:21,150
[crying]:
Oh, my God.
779
00:29:21,194 --> 00:29:23,674
I'm crying again.
780
00:29:23,718 --> 00:29:25,894
I-I'm good, I'm good.
I'm so sorry.
781
00:29:25,938 --> 00:29:27,635
I just...
782
00:29:27,678 --> 00:29:29,811
Oh, God...
Oh, Mama.
783
00:29:29,855 --> 00:29:31,552
Don't... No, it's all good.
784
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,515
[laughs] Oh.They were all in on
it. Got me so good.
785
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:41,344
I guess the olive doesn't
fall far from the tree.
786
00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:45,609
I don't know. Hey, this
going-away party is top-notch.
787
00:29:45,653 --> 00:29:48,438
It's classy. I mean, I gotta
talk to Hector's mom
788
00:29:48,482 --> 00:29:50,223
about doing a nice soiree
like this at our place.
789
00:29:50,266 --> 00:29:52,573
You've got to stop calling her
"Hector's mom."
790
00:29:52,616 --> 00:29:54,053
You got to move out
of her house.
791
00:29:54,096 --> 00:29:56,664
Enough. Se acabó.Basta.
792
00:29:56,707 --> 00:29:58,057
Well, you know
what you need to do?
793
00:29:58,100 --> 00:29:59,841
Stop playing this old people's
music. It's fizzy.
794
00:29:59,885 --> 00:30:01,364
Okay, now I'm freaking out,
795
00:30:01,408 --> 00:30:02,583
because I thought
she made that up.
796
00:30:02,626 --> 00:30:05,412
No, the kids
dosay fizzy.
797
00:30:05,455 --> 00:30:07,501
Rebecca's almost 30.
She's not a kid.
798
00:30:07,544 --> 00:30:09,633
[scoffs]
REBECCA: Hey!
799
00:30:09,677 --> 00:30:11,635
Yo, yo, yo.
Where the party at?
800
00:30:13,637 --> 00:30:14,595
[mouths]
801
00:30:14,638 --> 00:30:15,726
[doorbell rings]Yeah. Oh,
802
00:30:15,770 --> 00:30:16,902
that's my friends.
803
00:30:16,945 --> 00:30:18,425
I told them to come
ironically early.
804
00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:21,471
Hey.
AJ: Hey.
805
00:30:21,515 --> 00:30:23,299
How's it going? Hi.Oh, my God.
806
00:30:23,343 --> 00:30:25,388
REBECCA: Welcome. Oh, my God.AJ: Thank you.
807
00:30:25,432 --> 00:30:27,608
You are young. You are young.
You are a fetus.
808
00:30:27,651 --> 00:30:28,652
Hello. Welcome. Welcome.
809
00:30:28,696 --> 00:30:30,393
Hi.
810
00:30:30,437 --> 00:30:31,699
Do you know these people?
811
00:30:31,742 --> 00:30:33,092
No, of course I don't
know these people.
812
00:30:33,135 --> 00:30:34,484
Yeah.
813
00:30:34,528 --> 00:30:36,791
Anybody have a problem
with this?
814
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,140
No? Okay, great.
815
00:30:39,359 --> 00:30:40,926
So Rebecca carried the baby...No, no, no.
816
00:30:40,969 --> 00:30:43,189
It was Heather who carried the
baby, but it was Rebecca's egg.
817
00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:45,017
Uh, okay, I'll get
it eventually.No, you're good.
818
00:30:45,060 --> 00:30:47,367
I mean, probably won't, so...Either way. [laughs]
819
00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:49,064
I'm gonna get a drink.
You want something?Yeah, sure.
820
00:30:49,108 --> 00:30:50,849
Hey, Darryl.DARRYL:
Hmm?
821
00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:53,852
Hey, listen, I
heard what you did.
822
00:30:53,895 --> 00:30:56,115
And thank you for throwing water
in Josh's face.
823
00:30:56,158 --> 00:30:57,638
Oh.It really helped him
824
00:30:57,681 --> 00:30:59,205
get out of his kelp cocoon,
you know?
825
00:30:59,248 --> 00:31:02,469
Oh, my God.
You're watching Gemini's Escape.
826
00:31:02,512 --> 00:31:04,514
Yes.What episode are you on?
Have you gotten to the one
827
00:31:04,558 --> 00:31:06,777
with the... [grunts, chuckles]
828
00:31:06,821 --> 00:31:08,214
Blink twice if you know
what I'm saying.
829
00:31:08,257 --> 00:31:10,216
Oh!
I know.
830
00:31:10,259 --> 00:31:11,434
Let's get something to drink.Yeah.
831
00:31:11,478 --> 00:31:12,871
I think you need it.[dance music playing]
832
00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:13,959
Should I turn it up?Yeah.
833
00:31:14,002 --> 00:31:15,134
Hey, uh, do you mind?
834
00:31:15,177 --> 00:31:17,179
I kind of, like,
curated a playlist.
835
00:31:17,223 --> 00:31:19,442
Can you, like, turn
it down at least?REBECCA: Hey.
836
00:31:19,486 --> 00:31:21,270
Or, like...Heather, Heather, hey.
837
00:31:21,314 --> 00:31:23,794
Um, oh, my God. You're kind
of embarrassing me right now.
838
00:31:23,838 --> 00:31:25,013
These are my guests,
839
00:31:25,057 --> 00:31:26,797
and they can do whatever
they want, right?
840
00:31:26,841 --> 00:31:28,625
So go pay your taxes
841
00:31:28,669 --> 00:31:31,193
or trim your ear hair
or something, okrrr?
842
00:31:31,237 --> 00:31:33,935
Okay, um, it's your house now,
843
00:31:33,979 --> 00:31:34,936
so...
844
00:31:34,980 --> 00:31:36,982
Okay.
845
00:31:38,984 --> 00:31:40,420
Oh, my God,
I love this song.
846
00:31:40,463 --> 00:31:43,466
Is this Halsey? It's not?
847
00:31:47,427 --> 00:31:49,429
[dance music playing loudly]
848
00:31:49,472 --> 00:31:51,126
♪
849
00:31:52,867 --> 00:31:54,869
[indistinct chatter]
850
00:31:57,611 --> 00:32:01,136
Yeah, okay, I love this song!
851
00:32:01,180 --> 00:32:02,877
What's it called?
852
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:05,532
"Endless Verses"? Huh?
853
00:32:05,575 --> 00:32:07,186
"Waiting for the Chorus"?
854
00:32:07,229 --> 00:32:09,623
"Only the Bad Parts of a Song"?
855
00:32:09,666 --> 00:32:12,365
[laughs]
856
00:32:12,408 --> 00:32:14,628
[doorbell rings]Mm!
857
00:32:14,671 --> 00:32:16,195
Okay. [coughs]
858
00:32:16,238 --> 00:32:17,674
Cool, more people.
859
00:32:17,718 --> 00:32:18,762
Oh, yeah!
860
00:32:18,806 --> 00:32:20,242
I'm cool with this.
861
00:32:20,286 --> 00:32:22,244
Yeah! Come in.
862
00:32:22,288 --> 00:32:24,029
I'm glad a fire marshal's
not here, right?
863
00:32:24,072 --> 00:32:25,682
'Cause otherwise
we'd be in trouble.
864
00:32:25,726 --> 00:32:27,510
Okay, you go have sex now.
865
00:32:27,554 --> 00:32:29,686
It's fine, it's fine.
I got no responsibilities.
866
00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:32,863
Spill red wine on my rug.
Clog my toilet.
867
00:32:32,907 --> 00:32:35,866
Stick your dirty fingers
in the ice machine
868
00:32:35,910 --> 00:32:37,520
in my new refrigerator, huh?
869
00:32:37,564 --> 00:32:39,566
Wait.
870
00:32:40,567 --> 00:32:42,569
Wait.
871
00:32:43,874 --> 00:32:45,789
No.
872
00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:49,793
Someone dented
my new refrigerator?
873
00:32:49,837 --> 00:32:52,709
Okay!
874
00:32:52,753 --> 00:32:54,929
Young people are the worst!
875
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,800
Attention![music stops playing]
876
00:32:56,844 --> 00:32:58,715
If you are too young
877
00:32:58,759 --> 00:33:00,848
to have watched
the original Full House,
878
00:33:00,891 --> 00:33:03,285
get out!
879
00:33:03,329 --> 00:33:05,374
Oh, my God.
880
00:33:05,418 --> 00:33:07,376
Nick at Nite doesn't count.
881
00:33:07,420 --> 00:33:09,770
Get out. Just go. Go. Get out.
882
00:33:09,813 --> 00:33:12,207
That is mine. Monsters.
883
00:33:12,251 --> 00:33:13,904
Go. Go. Get out![door shuts]
884
00:33:18,822 --> 00:33:22,043
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I ruined your good-bye party.
885
00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:24,611
I continue to be horrible.
886
00:33:24,654 --> 00:33:28,397
Seriously, if I weren't me,
I wouldn't talk to me.
887
00:33:28,441 --> 00:33:30,182
Yeah, you were
pretty terrible.
888
00:33:30,225 --> 00:33:32,706
And a very unconvincing
young person.
889
00:33:32,749 --> 00:33:35,361
Like, were you born 40?
890
00:33:35,404 --> 00:33:38,233
[sighs] The thing is, when
you told me your good news,
891
00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:39,626
I wanted to be happy for you,
892
00:33:39,669 --> 00:33:41,671
but instead I just felt
self-hating and competitive,
893
00:33:41,715 --> 00:33:43,673
which I know is wrong.
894
00:33:43,717 --> 00:33:45,936
But I feel behind.
895
00:33:45,980 --> 00:33:47,112
You know, you guys have
everything all set.
896
00:33:47,155 --> 00:33:48,548
You got it all figured out.
897
00:33:48,591 --> 00:33:49,897
VALENCIA:
Set? [laughs]
898
00:33:49,940 --> 00:33:52,073
I'm nervous as hell.
I'm going to a new city
899
00:33:52,117 --> 00:33:54,206
and a new job
with a new relationship.
900
00:33:54,249 --> 00:33:56,904
I'm hella scared.Yeah, me, too.
901
00:33:56,947 --> 00:33:58,210
I hate a commute.
902
00:33:58,253 --> 00:34:00,125
And also, randomly
I'm married?
903
00:34:00,168 --> 00:34:02,301
Like, what?[laughter]
904
00:34:05,260 --> 00:34:07,088
God, I'm so sorry
for being so selfish.
905
00:34:07,132 --> 00:34:09,873
You were heinous,
906
00:34:09,917 --> 00:34:12,528
but everyone's frizzy sometimes.
907
00:34:12,572 --> 00:34:15,314
Is it frizzy or fizzy? What?
908
00:34:15,357 --> 00:34:18,752
It doesn't matter. I made it up,
and it somehow took off.
909
00:34:18,795 --> 00:34:20,319
God.
910
00:34:20,362 --> 00:34:21,581
I really backslid this week.
911
00:34:21,624 --> 00:34:23,191
I guess I got to up
my therapy sessions
912
00:34:23,235 --> 00:34:24,845
and go back to group.
913
00:34:24,888 --> 00:34:26,629
I haven't been to group
in a long time.
914
00:34:26,673 --> 00:34:28,762
Look, Rebecca, I get
why you're down on yourself.
915
00:34:28,805 --> 00:34:30,590
But...
916
00:34:30,633 --> 00:34:33,158
I mean, honestly,
I can't picture
917
00:34:33,201 --> 00:34:35,247
what my life would be like
without you.
918
00:34:35,290 --> 00:34:36,857
I never would
have met Hector,
919
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:40,991
a-and I wouldn't have gone
for my supercool corporate job.
920
00:34:41,035 --> 00:34:42,863
VALENCIA: Yeah, and
if it wasn't for you,
921
00:34:42,906 --> 00:34:45,213
I wouldn't have my cool job
and awesome girlfriend
922
00:34:45,257 --> 00:34:47,215
if you hadn't broken up
me and Josh.
923
00:34:47,259 --> 00:34:49,217
PAULA: Yeah, and I
wouldn't be anywhere near
924
00:34:49,261 --> 00:34:51,959
law school, so duh.
925
00:34:52,002 --> 00:34:53,874
Because of me? Really?
926
00:34:53,917 --> 00:34:56,398
Mm-hmm. So we forgive you.
927
00:34:56,442 --> 00:34:59,271
For a lot.
A lot.
928
00:34:59,314 --> 00:35:01,186
Actually, can I
ask you a favor?
929
00:35:01,229 --> 00:35:04,537
Will you take temporary custody
of Estrella?
930
00:35:04,580 --> 00:35:06,408
She and Hector
don't get along,
931
00:35:06,452 --> 00:35:09,411
and she's so happy here.
932
00:35:09,455 --> 00:35:12,501
[voice breaking]: You would
trust me with your starfish?
933
00:35:12,545 --> 00:35:13,850
Heather,
934
00:35:13,894 --> 00:35:15,635
I will guard her with my life.
935
00:35:15,678 --> 00:35:17,332
[sighs]
936
00:35:17,376 --> 00:35:19,508
Oh, my God,
I love you guys so much.
937
00:35:19,552 --> 00:35:22,120
And we'll-we'll...
938
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:23,773
we'll keep in touch, right?
939
00:35:23,817 --> 00:35:24,948
PAULA:
Oh, of course we will.
940
00:35:24,992 --> 00:35:26,733
I mean, definitely we will.
941
00:35:26,776 --> 00:35:28,169
Not like you guys
942
00:35:28,213 --> 00:35:30,693
are moving to Botswana.
943
00:35:30,737 --> 00:35:32,652
Wow, is that really
where he's going?Yeah.
944
00:35:32,695 --> 00:35:34,871
Yeah. I looked on a globe,
945
00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:37,787
and it's, like, you know, here.VALENCIA:
Oh, Paula.
946
00:35:37,831 --> 00:35:41,313
I'm so s...Excited for him and for you.
947
00:35:41,356 --> 00:35:45,317
Paula, you know that we love
you and we're here for you.Yeah, I know.
948
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,275
We'll all be here
for each other.
949
00:35:47,319 --> 00:35:51,540
Yeah, girl group is "forevah."
950
00:35:51,584 --> 00:35:54,413
And "evah."And "evah."
951
00:35:54,456 --> 00:35:57,677
And "evah."Cheers.
952
00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,374
[chuckles]
953
00:36:01,246 --> 00:36:03,204
Well...
954
00:36:03,248 --> 00:36:05,032
I should go,
955
00:36:05,075 --> 00:36:08,122
because I only have
a little time left with him.
956
00:36:09,123 --> 00:36:12,387
So... [groans]
No, no, no. Good night.
957
00:36:12,431 --> 00:36:14,607
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
958
00:36:14,650 --> 00:36:17,262
And now she's stuck with Tommy.
959
00:36:39,588 --> 00:36:41,373
You gonna be okay?
960
00:36:41,416 --> 00:36:44,289
Oh, yeah. It's just amazing
961
00:36:44,332 --> 00:36:47,422
that this is how
everything turned out.
962
00:36:47,466 --> 00:36:50,033
Yeah.I mean, you're
everything I ever hoped
963
00:36:50,077 --> 00:36:51,818
you would be, but...
964
00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:55,735
nothing like I actually thought
you would be.
965
00:36:55,778 --> 00:36:57,650
What, Mom?
966
00:36:57,693 --> 00:37:00,174
[quiet keyboard intro plays]
967
00:37:04,439 --> 00:37:06,876
♪ You stand before me
968
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:10,097
♪ A man fully grown
969
00:37:10,140 --> 00:37:13,405
♪ Ready to take on the world
970
00:37:13,448 --> 00:37:16,886
♪ Heading out on your own
971
00:37:16,930 --> 00:37:18,888
♪ You're now so thoughtful
972
00:37:18,932 --> 00:37:22,414
♪ Strong and wise
973
00:37:22,457 --> 00:37:24,198
♪ I'm proud
974
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:27,332
♪ But I'm also surprised
975
00:37:27,375 --> 00:37:30,987
♪ 'Cause I always never
believed in you ♪
976
00:37:31,031 --> 00:37:33,294
♪ I never gave up
giving up on you ♪
977
00:37:33,338 --> 00:37:36,950
♪ Deep inside I always knew
978
00:37:36,993 --> 00:37:40,301
♪ That you'd eventually
never come through ♪
979
00:37:40,345 --> 00:37:42,390
♪ Not for a second did I think
980
00:37:42,434 --> 00:37:46,307
♪ You wouldn't end up dead
or in the clink ♪
981
00:37:46,351 --> 00:37:50,268
♪ For possession
or assault or worse ♪
982
00:37:50,311 --> 00:37:52,444
♪ It's true
983
00:37:52,487 --> 00:37:58,101
♪ 'Cause I've always
never believed in you ♪
984
00:38:00,321 --> 00:38:02,192
♪ The moment you were born
985
00:38:02,236 --> 00:38:05,195
♪ They placed you in my arms
986
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,547
♪ And I looked into your eyes
and thought ♪
987
00:38:08,590 --> 00:38:11,898
♪ "Well, that's a murderer"
988
00:38:11,941 --> 00:38:14,204
♪ I thought at best
989
00:38:14,248 --> 00:38:17,251
♪ You might barely manage
990
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:19,384
♪ And it would be my job
991
00:38:19,427 --> 00:38:23,344
♪ To try to mitigate
the damage ♪
992
00:38:23,388 --> 00:38:26,869
♪ 'Cause I've always
never believed in you ♪
993
00:38:26,913 --> 00:38:29,481
♪ I never once doubted
doubting you ♪
994
00:38:29,524 --> 00:38:32,484
♪ With every opportunity
that you blew ♪
995
00:38:32,527 --> 00:38:35,661
♪ All my worst fears
just kept coming true ♪
996
00:38:35,704 --> 00:38:38,664
♪ You never were
a teacher's pet ♪
997
00:38:38,707 --> 00:38:41,884
♪ But you did kill
a teacher's pet ♪
998
00:38:41,928 --> 00:38:44,365
♪ With every horrifying thing
999
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:47,586
♪ You'd say or do [laughs]
1000
00:38:47,629 --> 00:38:52,504
♪ I continued
to never believe in you ♪
1001
00:38:52,547 --> 00:38:55,376
♪ Some people are destined
to fly high ♪
1002
00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:58,379
♪ Others just get really,
really high ♪
1003
00:38:58,423 --> 00:39:01,469
♪ Some people reach
for the stars ♪
1004
00:39:01,513 --> 00:39:04,864
♪ Some just reach for the panel
in the ceiling ♪
1005
00:39:04,907 --> 00:39:07,257
♪ Where they keep their drugs
1006
00:39:07,301 --> 00:39:10,217
♪ I held out no hope
1007
00:39:10,260 --> 00:39:13,133
♪ For so long
1008
00:39:13,176 --> 00:39:15,178
♪ But now I admit
1009
00:39:15,222 --> 00:39:18,878
♪ I got you all wrong
1010
00:39:18,921 --> 00:39:21,750
♪ 'Cause now I actually
believe in you ♪
1011
00:39:21,794 --> 00:39:24,884
♪ No longer have a total lack
of faith in you ♪
1012
00:39:24,927 --> 00:39:28,409
♪ Apparently there are things
you can do ♪
1013
00:39:28,453 --> 00:39:31,281
♪ You're full of potential,
and no one knew ♪
1014
00:39:31,325 --> 00:39:34,415
♪ Allow me to tip my hat
to you, sir ♪
1015
00:39:34,459 --> 00:39:37,549
♪ 'Cause you're no longer
a total loser ♪
1016
00:39:37,592 --> 00:39:39,855
♪ It feels strange to say it
1017
00:39:39,899 --> 00:39:44,251
♪ But it's true
1018
00:39:44,294 --> 00:39:47,297
♪ I weirdly, shockingly
1019
00:39:47,341 --> 00:39:51,214
♪ Completely believe
1020
00:39:51,258 --> 00:39:56,263
♪ In you
1021
00:40:01,660 --> 00:40:06,012
♪ I believe,
I believe, I believe ♪
1022
00:40:06,055 --> 00:40:10,146
♪ In you
1023
00:40:11,713 --> 00:40:16,675
♪ Yes, I do
1024
00:40:16,718 --> 00:40:20,505
♪ Yes
1025
00:40:20,548 --> 00:40:25,553
♪ I do.
1026
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,562
♪
1027
00:40:54,408 --> 00:40:56,410
♪
1028
00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:05,985
It'll be okay.
1029
00:41:06,028 --> 00:41:07,639
[both laugh]
1030
00:41:07,682 --> 00:41:10,163
I love you, Mom.I love you, too.
1031
00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:11,207
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
1032
00:41:12,905 --> 00:41:13,340
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
1033
00:41:13,390 --> 00:41:17,940
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
74004
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