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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:52,060
Mrs. Ross! Good morning!
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00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:30,174
Students, parents,
and beloved faculty,
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00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:34,871
it is now the time to introduce a young
man who we are very proud as...
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00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,506
I am very proud to know
as the valedictorian of this class:
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00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,513
Herbert H. Heebert.
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00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,187
I am very glad that you choose me!
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00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:56,568
And that, ladies and gentlemen,
concludes our graduation exercises.
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00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:08,480
Ma! Ma! Oh, Ma!
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00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:11,412
Ma! Ma!
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00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:14,177
- Ma!
- Herbert!
12
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:21,121
Ma! Oh, Ma! Ma!
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00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,455
Herbert!
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00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,091
Ma!
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00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,396
Oh, Herbert!
16
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,095
Herbert!
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00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,173
You scared me.
I had to go get my coat, I�m sorry.
18
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,332
Just think, Mother, Father,
today is the day.
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00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:40,343
Oh, I can't wait to go see Faith
and discuss our wedding plans.
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00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:44,244
Just think, tomorrow, my childhood
sweetheart will be my aging wife.
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00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:49,286
I�ll go get her and I�ll be back.
Faith! Faith!
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00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,013
Faith!
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00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,261
Oh, Faith.
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00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,954
Ma!
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00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:35,690
Ma!
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00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,688
My life is shattered.
27
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,292
The girl I waited for all my life
didn't wait for me.
28
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,453
I�m going away from here.
From her and from girls. I hate girls.
29
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,858
I�m gonna be a bachelor.
30
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,931
I�ll be alone all my life.
31
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:11,931
Pa!
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00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,936
Why did this ever happen
to my Herbert?
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00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,168
Pa, Pa. Ma, Ma.
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00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,778
I�ll never hum again.
35
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:25,213
Oh, Philip, look what happened
to that child.
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00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,783
Oh, my baby.
37
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,786
Oh, my child.
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00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,621
Yes, and what can I do for you?
39
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,323
Well, I�m answering the ad in the paper
about the job and I just...
40
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,468
- Oh, goody!
- Oh, goody, nothing.
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00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,126
You keep your hands off me!
42
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,386
Oh, bonsoir, you are
the American for the job.
43
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:40,821
I love you, ch�ri.
44
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,756
What are you, crazy, lady?
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00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,209
I�m safe!
46
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:41,011
Oh, I�m safe.
Oh, I�m so glad I�m safe.
47
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,320
I�m safe. You don't know
what I�ve been going through.
48
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,254
Now, we might as well start with...
Oh, yes, oh, what's your name?
49
00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:51,260
Mine's Katie. Actually, sometimes
people call me Kay, sometimes Kathy.
50
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:53,057
My real name, of course, is Katharine.
51
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:55,462
But it's so funny, though,
sometimes you'd never believe it,
52
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,865
they call me Katharine,
I don't even know it's my own name,
53
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,631
I forget to answer. But sometimes
they call me Katie the Cook,
54
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,933
that's because I cook here,
besides a lot of other things
55
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:06,203
that I do as well. But it's so funny,
I tell you, when they call me Katharine,
56
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,677
lots of times I can't tell the difference
and I don't answer.
57
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,076
But Katie I always answer to.
58
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,149
Kay, Kathy, it really doesn't
make any difference,
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00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,309
you know how nicknames are.
They're really very funny.
60
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,081
Because you can't ever tell what
a person's gonna call you sometimes,
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00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:18,780
even Katie the Cook.
But then I...
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00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,482
Herbert!
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00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:24,689
- Herbert H. Heebert is my name.
- Herbert H. Heebert.
64
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,560
- What's the H stand for?
- Herbert.
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00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,825
No, no, I mean the other H.
66
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:31,333
No, that's the same
like the other part.
67
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,438
Your name is Herbert Herbert?
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00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:35,130
Heebert.
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00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:37,509
How in the world did that happen?
70
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,942
Well, I think it started many years ago.
As a child, I was very stubborn.
71
00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:43,980
My mother used to yell out
of the window, "Herbert. Herbert!"
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00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,141
I never answered the first time,
so it stuck with me.
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00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,379
Herbert Herbert Heebert. I got a T
on both sides and the middle is a T...
74
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,079
- Herbert Herbert.
- Oh, well, I...
75
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,158
I got a pair of Herberts
in front of my Heebert.
76
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,160
Well, that's a very interesting name
you have there.
77
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,857
Now, do you have any references?
78
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,523
Oh, yeah.
79
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:20,515
It was there all the time
in the first pocket.
80
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,884
- You wanna read this?
- Yeah.
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00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:26,752
"To whom it may concern: This is
to introduce Herbert H. Heebert,
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00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:30,418
"a very bright, intelligent, smart,
and cute young man who is quite witty,
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00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:34,828
"and kind and honest and works
like a son of a gun, if he gets paid.
84
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,299
"He is willing, able and a swell kid.
85
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,335
"He does all the things that are
expected of him.
86
00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:43,100
"Besides, he's also very smart,
and works like a son of a gun.
87
00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:47,871
"And he will do all he can to help.
He has the only respect that's highest,
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00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,641
"and he's cuter than anybody
and smart as a whip.
89
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:53,512
"Besides being quite bright,
he could be considered a swell chap
90
00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:55,415
"and works like a son of a gun. "
91
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:56,919
When did you write that, Herbert?
92
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:59,353
Last night. I didn't have any,
so I figured I�d make one.
93
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:04,087
Oh, that's nice.
Did you go to school?
94
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:05,787
Yes.
95
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,830
Yes, I did.
96
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:12,136
Milltown Junior College,
I just graduated.
97
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,702
Well, you don't seem
very thrilled about that.
98
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:19,140
I don't know. That was one
of the saddest days of my life.
99
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:21,905
Why, that's supposed to be
one of the happiest days of your life.
100
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:25,539
- What happened?
- I know. I know, I know.
101
00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:30,249
Well, it's a pretty long story,
but if you'd like to hear it, I...
102
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:33,392
Oh, yes, I want very much to hear it.
103
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:37,120
Well, as you probably
guessed by now...
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00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:41,096
...I come from a comparatively
small town.
105
00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:47,862
Milltown, New Jersey.
106
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,134
Graduation day was beautiful
and wonderful.
107
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:54,507
At least until I went to find Faith.
108
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,238
Faith.
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00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:59,350
Faith was my girl. Faith Templeton.
110
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:01,782
And when I saw what I saw...
111
00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:05,185
...that was the moment
I knew I hated girls.
112
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:08,622
Because there, right before
my very baby-blue eyes,
113
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:12,093
was a girl with another person.
114
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:17,065
And then I decided that my life
was over and a bachelor I shall be.
115
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:21,434
Woe is me. Oh, Faith? Faith. Why?
116
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,976
That's the saddest thing
I ever heard.
117
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,422
Oh, Herbert.
118
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:45,022
Oh, Herbert. There's just one thing
I have to tell you.
119
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,596
Yes?
120
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:50,698
You've just gotta have faith.
121
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:55,473
What...? What...?
Oh, Herbert!
122
00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:57,802
Oh, Herbert!
123
00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,274
Herbert!
Oh, Herbert!
124
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:03,347
All I said was you have to have
a little faith.
125
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:10,580
Oh, for heaven's sakes,
Herbert, all I meant was...
126
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,757
- I�m all right now.
- What's happening?
127
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:16,520
Oh, Miss Welenmelon,
this is Herbert.
128
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:18,560
And he wants very much
to come to work here,
129
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:22,690
and I think that's just wonderful,
because he's very good and so nice,
130
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,961
and he can start tomorrow.
131
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,864
Well, Herbert, you certainly
have convinced Katie,
132
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:31,100
and that's good enough for me.
133
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:33,245
You know the kind of a place
I have here.
134
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:35,676
We can tell him about that
in the morning.
135
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,282
- Oh. Oh, yes.
- Yeah, that will be all right.
136
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:41,510
I don't really care what kind of place.
I just wanna work very hard and forget.
137
00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,451
That's a very good idea.
And I know you're gonna like it here.
138
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:46,420
And you're gonna just love him,
Miss Welenmelon.
139
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,685
And if you don't mind, now,
I�ll take him up to his room
140
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:50,590
because it's very late
and I�m sure he's tired.
141
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,526
Yeah, I was just yawning
when she said that.
142
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:55,861
Well, Katie, if he's all right with you,
he's all right with me.
143
00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:58,526
Oh, thank you, Miss Cellosmellow.
I�m gonna get my suitcase.
144
00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:01,298
No, wait, just wait for me in the hall.
145
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:04,465
Oh, I�ll take him up the back way.
146
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,873
We got one!
147
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:14,049
We've got one, all right.
148
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:18,223
- Well, now, this is your room, Herbert.
- Oh, it's very nice.
149
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:21,791
Thank you. You see,
this was Miss Welenmelon's
150
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:24,862
and Mr. Welenmelon's home
before he passed on,
151
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,897
and rather than sell it just because
it was too big for her,
152
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,001
she decided
to rent out the rooms
153
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:33,605
and that way she wouldn't be alone.
154
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,973
It's a very good idea.
155
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,736
Being alone, you know,
can be very lonely.
156
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,847
But at least with people around,
then you can be lonely with noise.
157
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:48,009
Lonely with noise.
158
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:51,151
Well, you better get to bed
and get some rest
159
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,883
because it is very late, and I�ll see
you first thing in the morning
160
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,027
and then we can discuss your chores.
161
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:02,394
Oh, Katie. Thank you very much.
I think I�ll be very happy here.
162
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,060
Well, if nothing else,
I think it'll prove to be very interesting.
163
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,172
Nighty-night.
164
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:58,977
It�s a soft bed.
165
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:34,915
The time, early.
166
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,514
The weather, cool.
167
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:42,589
This evening, nutty.
168
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:46,462
Tomorrow, nice.
169
00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:23,729
Good morning
170
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:27,634
Herbert
171
00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:34,144
Good morning
172
00:23:34,313 --> 00:23:40,081
Herbert
173
00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:48,054
Well, Herbert, don't just stand there.
Haven't you anything to say?
174
00:23:50,463 --> 00:23:51,828
Ma.
175
00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:54,498
Ma!
176
00:23:55,301 --> 00:23:57,292
Ma!
177
00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:03,901
Ma! Ma!
178
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:26,888
Who's there?
Don't answer that, I don't care.
179
00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:29,557
Just go away,
I�m scared and that's it.
180
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:32,397
It�s me, Herbert. Miss Welenmelon.
181
00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:35,769
Yeah, well, you go away.
You misled me.
182
00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:39,935
And I don't wanna go live in no harem,
particularly in my condition.
183
00:24:40,112 --> 00:24:43,343
Now, now, Herbert.
Please don't be concerned.
184
00:24:43,516 --> 00:24:45,984
Yeah, well, there's plenty
to be concerned about.
185
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:48,518
I ran down there, and...
186
00:24:57,063 --> 00:24:59,554
I guess I didn't have enough stuff
to bolt me.
187
00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:01,666
I�m surprised at you, Herbert.
188
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:04,997
Your actions certainly weren't
those of a gentleman.
189
00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:07,071
Well, how do you expect me to act
like a gentleman?
190
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,730
I walked smack dab
into a ladies' room.
191
00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:11,069
Oh, Herbert, I know how you feel.
192
00:25:11,244 --> 00:25:16,477
Katie told me about your problem.
But you've got to take hold of yourself.
193
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:18,640
Yeah, you're right, or they will.
194
00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:21,184
Now, now, come along
and meet the ladies,
195
00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:24,551
and you'll see how ridiculous
this whole thing is.
196
00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:26,783
It is? Well, you lay one hand on me
and I�ll report you
197
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:29,894
to the child labor board.
I�m leaving and that's final.
198
00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:32,929
I�ll not try to stop you.
199
00:25:33,432 --> 00:25:34,956
OK.
200
00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:52,409
Well, gee whiz, I don't want
you should cry. Let me think a minute.
201
00:25:54,186 --> 00:25:56,177
What should I do?
Should I stay...?
202
00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:00,025
I gotta think harder.
203
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:02,857
Should I stay or not?
204
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:07,798
Oh, all right.
I�ll stay, but only on one condition:
205
00:26:07,967 --> 00:26:10,435
I�ll stay as long as it takes you
to get another boy.
206
00:26:10,603 --> 00:26:13,834
Oh, you're a doll, Herbert.
I knew you wouldn't let me down.
207
00:26:14,006 --> 00:26:15,871
And the girls will be happy too.
208
00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:18,533
Yeah, well, you just tell them
they can look but they can't touch.
209
00:26:18,711 --> 00:26:21,578
All right, Herbert.
Now, don't you worry about a thing.
210
00:26:21,747 --> 00:26:23,942
Come along and we'll get you
some breakfast.
211
00:26:24,116 --> 00:26:27,176
Well, there's plenty to worry about with
a lot of girls. I don't mind telling you.
212
00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:49,066
I never saw so many girls.
There's a whole bunch of them.
213
00:26:49,241 --> 00:26:50,674
- I got scared...
- Herbert!
214
00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:54,370
Now, you listen to me.
You go into that dining room in there,
215
00:26:54,547 --> 00:26:56,708
and at the back of the room
you'll see the door that
216
00:26:56,882 --> 00:26:59,783
will take you upstairs to the kitchen,
and you have some breakfast.
217
00:27:00,486 --> 00:27:02,613
Kitchen upstairs?
I don't have to work up an appetite,
218
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:05,450
I don't eat breakfast
in the morning anyway.
219
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:08,423
You know what they say
about breakfast.
220
00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:11,423
Yeah, they say it's the most important
meal you can eat in the morning.
221
00:27:11,597 --> 00:27:13,428
- But I don't eat breakfast all the time.
- What?
222
00:27:13,599 --> 00:27:15,430
- Well, I didn't mean nothing by that.
- Remember,
223
00:27:15,601 --> 00:27:19,128
- Miss Welenmelon knows best.
- Yes, you do.
224
00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:21,739
So I�ll go in and I�ll have
just half a welen, is that all right?
225
00:27:21,907 --> 00:27:23,704
- Now, you do that.
- OK, then I�ll go.
226
00:27:23,876 --> 00:27:25,241
- And, Herbert. Now, listen.
- Yes.
227
00:27:25,411 --> 00:27:28,403
Go along
Go along
228
00:27:28,581 --> 00:27:31,379
OK
229
00:27:34,587 --> 00:27:35,849
Girls.
230
00:27:36,589 --> 00:27:39,023
Come, come, come, come.
Come on, come on.
231
00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:44,190
Now, look and listen carefully.
232
00:27:44,363 --> 00:27:47,127
This is a very nice boy.
233
00:27:47,299 --> 00:27:49,597
He's had a couple of heart tugs
234
00:27:49,769 --> 00:27:52,329
and he's pretty set
against women at this time,
235
00:27:52,505 --> 00:27:55,804
but there is one way
we can keep him.
236
00:27:55,975 --> 00:27:59,570
It�s simple. He likes to help.
237
00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:03,679
He doesn't know at this moment,
I don't think, how to say no.
238
00:28:03,849 --> 00:28:07,182
And I believe that he likes
to be needed.
239
00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:09,514
Miss Melonwelen told me
to come in and have breakfast.
240
00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:13,352
And I don't... I said to her, "I don't... "
241
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:16,559
You see where my hand is?
242
00:28:16,962 --> 00:28:19,453
- It�s on the toaster.
- Yeah.
243
00:28:20,099 --> 00:28:21,760
And it's hot!
244
00:28:21,934 --> 00:28:24,494
- Take it off.
- It�s stuck!
245
00:28:24,970 --> 00:28:29,066
That's pain. Oh, hurt, hurt.
There's hurt in pain.
246
00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:32,108
Would you just lift my hand off?
247
00:28:32,344 --> 00:28:33,971
Just lift it up.
248
00:28:35,581 --> 00:28:37,776
Katharine. Oh.
249
00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:44,082
Katharine, Miss Welenmelon wanted
me to tell you that Herby is to have...
250
00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:46,554
Herbert. Herbert.
251
00:28:46,726 --> 00:28:48,523
Herbert. H-E-R-B-E-R-T is Herbert.
252
00:28:48,694 --> 00:28:51,595
How do you spell Herbert?
Not Y, Herby.
253
00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:57,134
It�s Herbert, Bert, Bert, call me Bert.
Just not Herby. Herbert.
254
00:28:57,303 --> 00:29:01,899
- That Herbert is to have his breakfast.
- I�ll see to it.
255
00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:04,133
I was telling Miss...
256
00:29:04,310 --> 00:29:06,744
...the lady, I don't need no breakfast,
I never ever have...
257
00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:13,044
If you don't do what Miss Welenmelon
tells you to do, why, she'll have a fit.
258
00:29:13,219 --> 00:29:14,481
- A fit?
- A real fit.
259
00:29:14,653 --> 00:29:17,087
- A fit?
- A fit like you wouldn't believe.
260
00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:18,848
- That's some fit.
- A real fit.
261
00:29:19,024 --> 00:29:21,015
- I�d better be careful.
- You better be very careful.
262
00:29:21,193 --> 00:29:23,423
- Should I watch it?
- A lot.
263
00:29:23,662 --> 00:29:26,756
Now, don't overdo it...
264
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,502
...but if you see that he's
weakening in any way at all,
265
00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:33,739
ask for something.
266
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:36,306
Make him feel wanted
and important.
267
00:29:36,475 --> 00:29:42,471
And in this way, I think we'll have
one fine houseboy a little longer
268
00:29:42,648 --> 00:29:46,243
than the normal three days. OK?
269
00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:48,181
That's all.
270
00:29:48,354 --> 00:29:49,821
See you tonight.
271
00:29:59,698 --> 00:30:04,260
This is just the best thing in the world
for a growing boy.
272
00:30:05,538 --> 00:30:08,769
Forget it, lady. Will you forget it?
273
00:30:08,941 --> 00:30:10,636
I let you talk me into this
ridiculous chair
274
00:30:10,810 --> 00:30:13,472
because I felt sorry for you.
You had it fixed up and all.
275
00:30:13,646 --> 00:30:16,513
I can't do this, this is...
I don't eat no breakfast, I told...
276
00:30:16,682 --> 00:30:19,048
I don't wanna eat. Is that...?
I�m getting out of here.
277
00:30:19,218 --> 00:30:20,810
- There you go.
- You got one in, huh?
278
00:30:20,986 --> 00:30:23,045
- See, that's all right.
- That's it, there's no more.
279
00:30:23,222 --> 00:30:25,156
- Now, let me ask you...
- No, this is ridiculous.
280
00:30:25,324 --> 00:30:27,383
- If anyone walked in and...
- What is an animal...?
281
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,494
- The biggest...?
- An animal? The biggest is an ox.
282
00:30:29,662 --> 00:30:31,721
- There you are.
- I thought I got away.
283
00:30:31,897 --> 00:30:34,297
- No, that's wonderful.
- You just took care of my sweater.
284
00:30:34,466 --> 00:30:36,525
- Now, just open there...
- Look, I don't need this.
285
00:30:36,702 --> 00:30:38,260
- Oh, there...
- You missed, you missed.
286
00:30:38,437 --> 00:30:39,699
No, you missed now, Herbert.
287
00:30:39,872 --> 00:30:41,339
- You've got to have it...
- You missed.
288
00:30:41,507 --> 00:30:42,974
- Why, I never...
- You missed my mouth.
289
00:30:43,142 --> 00:30:45,633
- Now you say "ah" and...
- No, there's no "ah". Would you aim?
290
00:30:45,811 --> 00:30:47,176
- If you...
- At least give me the...
291
00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:50,179
- This woman is out of her mind.
- But if you didn't move around...
292
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:53,250
I�m not moving! Well...
293
00:30:53,419 --> 00:30:55,046
At least you got
a double that time.
294
00:30:55,221 --> 00:30:57,314
That's a two-bagger,
Miss Melonsmelon.
295
00:30:57,489 --> 00:30:59,787
Oh, would you mind just checking
the beard on this side?
296
00:30:59,959 --> 00:31:02,792
I don't want that!
I�m getting out of the chair!
297
00:31:02,962 --> 00:31:05,487
Give me one more,
just for good luck. That's it.
298
00:31:07,466 --> 00:31:09,661
Now, come along with me, Herbert,
because Miss Welenmelon wanted me
299
00:31:09,835 --> 00:31:12,395
to show you everything that you have
to do, so you know your duties.
300
00:31:12,571 --> 00:31:13,697
Now, here's the phone.
301
00:31:13,873 --> 00:31:15,602
- That's one of them?
- That's the only phone.
302
00:31:15,774 --> 00:31:17,571
The only phone in such
a big mansion?
303
00:31:17,743 --> 00:31:19,472
Oh, yes, for a very good reason.
304
00:31:19,645 --> 00:31:21,613
- It�s cheaper?
- No.
305
00:31:21,780 --> 00:31:24,078
Oh, then it's less expensive
than having a lot of phones.
306
00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:25,410
Yeah.
307
00:31:25,584 --> 00:31:28,917
- Oh, Herbert, you're so cute.
- Well...
308
00:31:29,088 --> 00:31:32,057
Now, when a phone call comes in,
you get to the girl it's for
309
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:33,851
as quickly as you can
so she can answer it,
310
00:31:34,026 --> 00:31:36,688
have her conversation, hang up,
so then it'll be available for others.
311
00:31:36,862 --> 00:31:39,763
So then I can run up and down
the stairs a lot of more times.
312
00:31:39,932 --> 00:31:41,957
- Come on.
- Wonderful.
313
00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:45,262
Now, here, of course, is the gaming
table you must keep very clean.
314
00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:52,669
- I love solitaire.
- Herbert, there is no time for this,
315
00:31:52,845 --> 00:31:54,745
- you've lots to do. Come on, come on.
- All right.
316
00:31:54,914 --> 00:31:58,441
I just like to play that a lot,
whenever I get a chance.
317
00:31:59,018 --> 00:32:03,045
Oh, this is terrific.
This is a dizzy staircase.
318
00:32:07,159 --> 00:32:09,821
Now, here is the rare
butterfly collection
319
00:32:09,995 --> 00:32:12,395
that belonged to Mr. Welenmelon.
320
00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:18,234
Oh, that's lovely. I like that. I like birds
and bees and bugs that fly, and things.
321
00:32:18,404 --> 00:32:20,998
Say, that's a Bluetooth Merkdekker.
322
00:32:21,173 --> 00:32:23,937
- You know about butterflies?
- Oh, I was once a botany.
323
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,677
I think this one belongs
to the Yellow-bellied Sapsucker family.
324
00:32:27,846 --> 00:32:31,145
And this blue one
is a Gray-tailed Blue.
325
00:32:31,317 --> 00:32:34,445
And in the center,
you have a Greenfly Worst.
326
00:32:34,620 --> 00:32:37,384
It�s a worsted wing.
You see, the wing is on the end,
327
00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:40,650
some are shorter than the other.
The wing gives the sound of the:
328
00:32:41,627 --> 00:32:43,492
- when it flies.
- It makes that sound?
329
00:32:43,662 --> 00:32:46,028
- Oh, that's wonderful.
- That's when it's sick, but:
330
00:32:46,532 --> 00:32:48,500
- when it's flying good.
- Oh, that's wonderful.
331
00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:52,068
This is a very lovely species here.
This was once a frog.
332
00:32:52,237 --> 00:32:55,434
- A frog turned into a butterfly?
- Well, it forced itself.
333
00:32:55,607 --> 00:32:57,837
- I don't know, I never found out.
- Amazing.
334
00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:01,309
- Wonderful. Now, now, Herby.
- Yes?
335
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:05,780
Once or twice a week, this case
must be very carefully dusted.
336
00:33:05,951 --> 00:33:08,613
- I�ll touch it very care...
- You have to be careful, understand?
337
00:33:08,787 --> 00:33:10,618
I�ll do it from a distance.
Another room, maybe.
338
00:33:10,789 --> 00:33:12,848
Oh, well, that's good.
Now, you wait right here for me,
339
00:33:13,025 --> 00:33:14,754
because I have to go see
if Baby's all right.
340
00:33:14,927 --> 00:33:16,292
All right.
341
00:33:18,697 --> 00:33:20,562
She has a baby?
342
00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:52,189
That's a good Baby.
343
00:34:00,339 --> 00:34:02,239
Very good Baby.
344
00:34:02,408 --> 00:34:03,841
Oh, what a darling.
345
00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:08,569
Oh. Oh, you never touch this.
346
00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:11,307
Never touch this gorgeous antique
collection of Mr. Welenmelon's.
347
00:34:11,483 --> 00:34:13,280
Been in the family for 50 years.
Put it back.
348
00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:15,746
Gentle!
349
00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:23,725
You got glue?
350
00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:26,558
Oh, but I... Here, this is good.
351
00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:29,862
Oh, but don't feel bad. Don't... Don't...
352
00:34:30,035 --> 00:34:31,400
Don't feel bad.
353
00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:33,663
No, wait. Don't, please.
We'll fix it.
354
00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:37,906
Oh, Herbert, Herbert.
355
00:34:38,077 --> 00:34:39,669
I just talked to Miss Welenmelon
356
00:34:39,845 --> 00:34:43,372
and I told her that that glass
collection was so dusty,
357
00:34:43,549 --> 00:34:46,950
I just had to have it
sent out to be cleaned.
358
00:34:47,119 --> 00:34:49,280
Oh, thank you very much, Kathy.
359
00:34:49,455 --> 00:34:52,322
I appreciate that because I was
scared that she'd be mad on me.
360
00:34:52,491 --> 00:34:54,755
Oh, you don't ever have to
worry about her being angry
361
00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:57,259
- as long as you do your work well.
- Yeah.
362
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:58,691
So if you'll...
363
00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:02,163
If you'll just go and feed Baby,
I�ll appreciate it very much.
364
00:35:02,334 --> 00:35:04,268
Baby? Oh, yeah, oh, I�ll do that.
365
00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:06,904
But after the baby is fed,
I mean, will you be available?
366
00:35:07,072 --> 00:35:09,131
Because I don't know
about burping that thing.
367
00:35:09,308 --> 00:35:11,435
Oh, for heaven's sake, no.
368
00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:14,912
- Baby is not a baby.
- No?
369
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,243
Baby is Miss Welenmelon's pet.
370
00:35:18,417 --> 00:35:22,114
Oh. Oh, I was wondering how... Yeah.
371
00:35:22,287 --> 00:35:25,051
- Oh, that's good, I�m glad.
- A baby.
372
00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:28,885
Oh, you're such a dear,
young, naive Herby.
373
00:35:29,061 --> 00:35:30,494
- Herbert.
- Herbert.
374
00:35:30,662 --> 00:35:33,460
Oh, Baby's the dearest little
darling in all the world.
375
00:35:33,632 --> 00:35:36,362
Oh, we just love
that funny little thing.
376
00:35:36,535 --> 00:35:38,469
I hope you like animals, do you?
377
00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:40,332
Oh, I like pets, yeah.
378
00:35:40,506 --> 00:35:42,531
I had a pet once.
379
00:35:42,708 --> 00:35:45,199
A goldfish, Marvin.
380
00:35:45,377 --> 00:35:48,904
I was very attached to it
and it was attached to me and...
381
00:35:49,448 --> 00:35:52,940
I never thought I�d really
get over losing Marvin.
382
00:35:53,118 --> 00:35:55,143
Oh, that's a shame.
383
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,254
What happened?
384
00:35:57,422 --> 00:35:59,185
Oh, well.
385
00:35:59,358 --> 00:36:02,156
As I said, we were very attached.
386
00:36:04,263 --> 00:36:07,255
One night, I was going to bed and I
didn't want Marvin to be lonesome,
387
00:36:07,432 --> 00:36:10,367
just sloshing around in the water.
388
00:36:10,536 --> 00:36:15,030
So I took Marvin to bed with me,
to spend the night,
389
00:36:15,207 --> 00:36:17,573
and in the morning, he just laid there.
390
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:19,973
Oh, Marvin, Marvin, Marvin.
391
00:36:20,412 --> 00:36:23,210
Herbert, Herbert, Herbert.
392
00:36:24,016 --> 00:36:26,280
Oh, I�m all right now.
393
00:36:28,253 --> 00:36:30,278
Oh, you... You mustn't cry, Herbert.
394
00:36:30,455 --> 00:36:32,889
Well, you know, I get choked up
when I think about Marvin.
395
00:36:33,058 --> 00:36:34,753
Yeah, but you mustn't. You mustn't.
396
00:36:34,927 --> 00:36:36,861
Don't you see? This is your chance
397
00:36:37,029 --> 00:36:41,022
to make a brand-new friend,
and Baby is such a darling.
398
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,668
All right. I�ll... I�ll feed it
and make friends with it.
399
00:36:43,835 --> 00:36:45,894
Oh, good. Now, if you'll just go
400
00:36:46,071 --> 00:36:48,198
- and get his milk.
- But I have to dust some more.
401
00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:50,136
That's all right,
I�ll take care of it for you.
402
00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:51,571
- All right.
- And then remember,
403
00:36:51,743 --> 00:36:53,472
in about an hour, he gets his meat.
404
00:36:53,645 --> 00:36:56,307
- I�ll see you when you're all through.
- He gets his meat in an hour.
405
00:36:56,481 --> 00:36:59,450
First, I�ll bring him his milk.
Thank you very much, Katie.
406
00:36:59,618 --> 00:37:01,176
Right.
407
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:05,356
Imagine that. A goldfish.
408
00:37:06,191 --> 00:37:07,818
Marvin?
409
00:37:07,993 --> 00:37:10,262
Oh, but he's sweet.
410
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:34,650
What am I knocking?
A pet can't answer the door.
411
00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:45,126
That's Baby?
412
00:38:27,739 --> 00:38:29,639
That's a Baby, boy.
413
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:32,470
That's a Baby, boy!
414
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:49,051
Oh, that's some Baby, boy.
415
00:38:49,494 --> 00:38:52,054
I�ll feed him his meat.
416
00:38:55,266 --> 00:38:59,293
Get on the milk and slide.
That's good meat.
417
00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:09,439
This is some tidbit, boy.
418
00:39:14,219 --> 00:39:16,278
I don't believe it.
419
00:39:16,454 --> 00:39:18,979
That's some Baby.
420
00:39:19,157 --> 00:39:20,647
What a Baby!
421
00:39:27,265 --> 00:39:30,393
Ohh, I shur wish ah had to ta ma ole
422
00:39:30,568 --> 00:39:35,562
an never really founa
bodacious ma owe ya, has nu?
423
00:39:35,740 --> 00:39:37,071
They just told me to deliver...
424
00:39:37,242 --> 00:39:39,540
She said that she is very glad
that you took the time out
425
00:39:39,711 --> 00:39:41,144
to come up and bring her the mail,
426
00:39:41,312 --> 00:39:45,043
and that if in any way she can show
her appreciation, please do call on her.
427
00:39:45,617 --> 00:39:47,414
And that she just doesn't think
there are enough
428
00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:50,076
people in the world nowadays
doing things for each other.
429
00:39:50,255 --> 00:39:52,416
And besides that,
she likes you very much.
430
00:39:52,891 --> 00:39:54,722
Come along, dear. Come on.
431
00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:05,097
I don't know that.
432
00:40:13,845 --> 00:40:15,608
Oh, it's from him. It�s from him.
433
00:40:15,780 --> 00:40:17,145
You don't understand. He wrote.
434
00:40:17,315 --> 00:40:20,443
He actually sat down
and wrote. He wrote...
435
00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:34,922
In a second.
436
00:40:37,168 --> 00:40:39,693
Oh, come on in.
Come on, come on.
437
00:40:39,871 --> 00:40:42,567
Mail for me? Aren't you sweet.
And swell too.
438
00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:44,731
I think you're so sweet, honest.
439
00:40:44,909 --> 00:40:48,640
You see, I so rarely get
any mail and I�m so happy.
440
00:40:48,813 --> 00:40:52,340
And I repeat, you are a sweet,
swell sweetie-face.
441
00:40:52,517 --> 00:40:54,212
Well, thanks very much.
Here you are.
442
00:40:54,385 --> 00:40:56,376
There's three of them for you.
443
00:40:56,554 --> 00:40:58,488
Thank you.
444
00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:04,224
Sweet, swell, what a nut!
445
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:18,408
Thanks for the mail
Now, baby, let's wail
446
00:41:35,627 --> 00:41:38,255
Herby. Herby, come over here.
447
00:41:38,563 --> 00:41:40,497
No. No, Herby.
448
00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:42,690
We never knock on that door.
449
00:41:42,867 --> 00:41:44,300
We never...
450
00:41:44,469 --> 00:41:47,165
- ... bother Miss Cartilage.
- We don't?
451
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:50,569
You just go right along now
and deliver the mail in the next room.
452
00:41:50,875 --> 00:41:53,070
Thank you, Herbert.
453
00:42:09,127 --> 00:42:13,928
Yes? And to what do I owe
the honor of this visit?
454
00:42:14,098 --> 00:42:19,001
Pray, could it be that you are torn
inside out since our last meeting?
455
00:42:20,171 --> 00:42:22,401
No. I just came to deliver the mail.
456
00:42:23,141 --> 00:42:27,077
Oh, excuse me, kid.
I kind of got carried away a little.
457
00:42:27,245 --> 00:42:29,406
You see, I�m rehearsing for a part.
458
00:42:29,581 --> 00:42:30,843
Oh, yeah, what part?
459
00:42:31,182 --> 00:42:32,615
Any old part.
460
00:42:32,784 --> 00:42:34,046
Nothing definite.
461
00:42:34,218 --> 00:42:37,153
I just want to be prepared in case
something comes along.
462
00:42:37,322 --> 00:42:39,722
- Oh.
- As a matter of fact...
463
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:42,416
...would you mind helping me
rehearse a little?
464
00:42:43,328 --> 00:42:44,920
And what do you want I should do?
465
00:42:45,196 --> 00:42:47,892
I�ll close the door. You knock on it.
466
00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:51,194
I�ll answer it, and then you
can tell me if it's effective.
467
00:42:52,103 --> 00:42:53,593
Yeah, that sounds like fun.
468
00:42:53,771 --> 00:42:55,568
OK, I�ll try that out.
469
00:43:04,882 --> 00:43:10,479
You! You dare come back
after leaving me and the baby!
470
00:43:12,724 --> 00:43:14,089
I don't believe it.
471
00:43:15,460 --> 00:43:17,325
How was that one?
Pretty good, huh?
472
00:43:17,495 --> 00:43:19,463
Oh, yeah, that was very good.
473
00:43:19,631 --> 00:43:21,121
Let's do another one now.
474
00:43:21,299 --> 00:43:23,164
Only this time, don't knock.
475
00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:25,234
I�ll just kind of feel you there.
476
00:43:25,403 --> 00:43:27,803
Yeah, well, could you feel
a little easier this time?
477
00:43:27,972 --> 00:43:30,440
- OK.
- Thank you.
478
00:43:35,346 --> 00:43:37,576
Hi, honey.
479
00:43:38,349 --> 00:43:40,579
Gee, it's good to see you again.
480
00:43:42,186 --> 00:43:45,212
- I missed you.
- I like this scene.
481
00:43:45,390 --> 00:43:48,052
It�s been a long time.
482
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,428
What am I, crazy or something?
483
00:43:51,596 --> 00:43:55,396
Even talking to you after not hearing
from you for such a long time!
484
00:43:55,566 --> 00:43:59,730
Now, you stay out of my life
once and for all!
485
00:44:01,339 --> 00:44:03,034
I got it again.
486
00:44:05,677 --> 00:44:07,577
Say, you're wonderful.
487
00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:09,576
You really bring out the best in me.
488
00:44:09,747 --> 00:44:11,214
I�d hate to see the worst in you, lady.
489
00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:13,907
To be perfectly truthful with you,
I don't wanna play-act no more.
490
00:44:14,085 --> 00:44:15,643
I wish you the very best of luck,
491
00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:18,482
and I think you'll make
a very terrific lion-tamer.
492
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:21,181
Whatever I make,
I wanna thank you.
493
00:44:21,359 --> 00:44:22,849
You're a doll.
494
00:44:23,027 --> 00:44:25,154
Oh, I lost a cheek now.
495
00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:29,698
Oh, my skin of my back is caught
in the crack of the door. Lady.
496
00:44:30,735 --> 00:44:32,032
Lady. Open.
497
00:44:46,117 --> 00:44:47,812
Hello...
498
00:44:47,985 --> 00:44:50,613
...you great, big, beautiful...
499
00:44:50,788 --> 00:44:54,884
...blond male specimen
of sheer delight.
500
00:44:55,059 --> 00:44:56,924
- Blond?
- What's on your mind,
501
00:44:57,095 --> 00:45:00,553
except wanting to press
your lips to mine
502
00:45:00,732 --> 00:45:04,566
and wandering off into
ecstasy land with me?
503
00:45:04,736 --> 00:45:07,068
- Blond?
- Or is the sight of me
504
00:45:07,238 --> 00:45:11,174
throwing you so badly
that you cannot speak?
505
00:45:11,342 --> 00:45:12,775
Oh, I can speak, yeah.
506
00:45:12,944 --> 00:45:15,469
I just brought your mail.
507
00:45:15,646 --> 00:45:17,136
Ma!
508
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:20,047
Oh, Ma!
509
00:45:29,527 --> 00:45:32,052
Girls! Herbert's leaving! Stop him!
510
00:45:50,615 --> 00:45:52,583
Is it a book? A movie.
511
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:54,684
- Quotations.
- Quotations.
512
00:45:54,852 --> 00:45:56,444
How many words?
513
00:45:56,621 --> 00:45:59,624
- Ten. Twenty.
- Twenty-three.
514
00:46:04,996 --> 00:46:06,657
Good evening.
515
00:46:09,967 --> 00:46:12,595
Will you come in, sir?
516
00:46:18,409 --> 00:46:21,105
Is there anything I can do for you, sir?
Anything at all?
517
00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:24,874
Yeah, kid. Get out of my way.
518
00:46:32,490 --> 00:46:36,654
Is there anything I can get for you,
anything I can do for you or anything?
519
00:46:36,828 --> 00:46:40,594
Look, skinny, I come
to see my girl. She's...
520
00:46:41,999 --> 00:46:46,060
I forgot to find out which one that
you wanted to see and I ran out, sir.
521
00:46:46,237 --> 00:46:47,864
- Look, stupid.
- No, Herbert.
522
00:46:48,039 --> 00:46:49,472
- Stupid.
- Herbert.
523
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,200
- Stupid!
- Stupid Herbert, that's right, that's me.
524
00:46:53,878 --> 00:46:55,345
That's better.
525
00:46:55,513 --> 00:46:57,242
Well, you shouldn't get upset, man.
526
00:46:57,415 --> 00:46:59,815
Because, mister,
I don't know the girls, see.
527
00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:02,544
- And that's why I ran back.
- It�s a good thing you don't know her.
528
00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:04,244
I don't want you to know her.
529
00:47:04,422 --> 00:47:06,253
I don't want you to even look at her.
530
00:47:06,424 --> 00:47:08,722
No, I won't even ever look at her.
531
00:47:08,893 --> 00:47:10,724
What's the matter,
she's not good enough for you?
532
00:47:10,895 --> 00:47:12,362
Oh, she's good enough for anybody.
533
00:47:12,530 --> 00:47:13,997
- What?
- I didn't mean nothing by that.
534
00:47:14,165 --> 00:47:15,996
What do you want from my arm?
I didn't mean that.
535
00:47:16,167 --> 00:47:18,067
I mean, I don't wanna know her,
I don't wanna talk.
536
00:47:18,236 --> 00:47:19,430
I won't do none of those things.
537
00:47:19,604 --> 00:47:22,300
Just tell me who it is
and I�ll go get her for you, that's all.
538
00:47:22,473 --> 00:47:24,338
Her name is Gwendolyn Pearce.
539
00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:26,567
All right, Gwendolyn Pearce.
I�ll tell her.
540
00:47:26,744 --> 00:47:28,268
And who should I say is calling?
541
00:47:28,446 --> 00:47:31,609
- Willard C. Gainesborough.
- All right.
542
00:47:31,782 --> 00:47:33,647
The C is for killer.
543
00:47:33,818 --> 00:47:35,843
I was a little afraid that
it could've been that.
544
00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:37,317
- Now, beat it!
- I�m gonna...
545
00:47:37,488 --> 00:47:39,422
And remember... don't look at her.
546
00:47:39,590 --> 00:47:41,558
- No, I won't look at her.
- Don't talk to her.
547
00:47:41,726 --> 00:47:43,125
I won't talk to her.
548
00:47:43,294 --> 00:47:46,195
- Don't get close to her.
- I won't get even close to her.
549
00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:48,264
- Don't get near her.
- No, I won't get near her.
550
00:47:48,432 --> 00:47:52,232
I�ll wave to her from another girl.
I�ll write a note that he's here, so...
551
00:47:52,403 --> 00:47:55,566
Because if I catch you getting
even close to her, it's over for you.
552
00:47:55,740 --> 00:47:57,367
- Over?
- You hear me?
553
00:47:57,541 --> 00:48:00,908
- Over. O-V-U-R, over.
- That's over.
554
00:48:01,078 --> 00:48:03,103
I was never so scared of anything,
555
00:48:03,281 --> 00:48:08,446
I�ll nev... It'll be over because I�ll
never touch nothing or any... Never...
556
00:48:10,087 --> 00:48:11,452
Herbert. Herbert.
557
00:48:11,622 --> 00:48:14,420
- I just spoke with Miss Welenmelon
- I don't understand this.
558
00:48:14,592 --> 00:48:16,992
- and I am so very proud of you.
- This man says, I should go
559
00:48:17,161 --> 00:48:20,494
- She said that she is terribly pleased
- and call the girl, but not to talk to her.
560
00:48:20,665 --> 00:48:22,724
- with the way you're doing your work.
- But what girl?
561
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:27,530
- You are living proof of the old saying:
- Miss Gwendolyn Pearce.
562
00:48:27,705 --> 00:48:30,731
- "Good people are good things to be. "
- How do I call her? I said I�d call her.
563
00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:33,103
I�ll tell one of the other girls
or something like that.
564
00:48:33,277 --> 00:48:35,973
His middle name is C.
The C stands for killer.
565
00:48:36,147 --> 00:48:39,014
So if I do like he says,
then maybe I won't get in trouble.
566
00:48:39,183 --> 00:48:41,310
I think she kissed me. Oh, gee.
567
00:48:42,620 --> 00:48:44,087
Hey.
568
00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:47,182
- May I help you, sir?
- You sure can.
569
00:48:47,358 --> 00:48:50,521
Where's that skinny, unglued,
crew-cut cat that went after my date?
570
00:48:50,695 --> 00:48:52,492
Oh, you mean Herby.
571
00:48:52,663 --> 00:48:54,631
I mean, Herbert.
572
00:48:54,799 --> 00:48:58,565
He is probably looking for her,
and undoubtedly will be right down.
573
00:49:07,979 --> 00:49:10,641
- That man who's your date...
- Thank you very much, Herbert.
574
00:49:10,815 --> 00:49:13,375
Tell him I�ll be right down.
575
00:49:23,561 --> 00:49:25,188
Well, where's my girl?
576
00:49:25,363 --> 00:49:28,332
- Oh, well, I just wanted to tell you...
- Wait a minute.
577
00:49:28,499 --> 00:49:30,228
Wait a minute.
578
00:49:30,401 --> 00:49:32,335
- You went up to get my girl, right?
- Yeah.
579
00:49:32,503 --> 00:49:34,198
- You didn't get close to her, right?
- No.
580
00:49:34,372 --> 00:49:37,239
- You didn't get even near her, right?
- That's right.
581
00:49:38,242 --> 00:49:40,574
Now you come downstairs,
you got lipstick on your face.
582
00:49:40,745 --> 00:49:44,408
- Oh, that's not... When I...
- Hold it!
583
00:49:44,582 --> 00:49:46,607
I don't believe it.
584
00:49:47,051 --> 00:49:49,281
Do you know you're sitting
on my hat?
585
00:49:51,389 --> 00:49:53,880
Do you know that's
my brand-new hat?
586
00:49:54,859 --> 00:50:00,559
Do you know that you better get up
and give me my hat?
587
00:50:03,801 --> 00:50:06,167
Maybe we can get it weaved.
588
00:50:06,904 --> 00:50:09,031
Fix the hat.
589
00:50:11,375 --> 00:50:14,344
Put it on my head.
590
00:50:19,884 --> 00:50:22,648
I don't like it that way.
591
00:50:30,561 --> 00:50:32,688
Is that all right?
592
00:50:33,397 --> 00:50:35,024
No.
593
00:50:39,570 --> 00:50:41,470
Would you like it that way?
594
00:50:41,639 --> 00:50:44,073
No, I think it would be good...
595
00:50:44,241 --> 00:50:46,038
Like that?
596
00:50:47,111 --> 00:50:49,739
Should I start it over?
597
00:50:50,114 --> 00:50:51,979
Do something.
598
00:51:01,092 --> 00:51:03,117
I don't like it that way.
599
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:06,988
Oh, my hair.
600
00:51:07,431 --> 00:51:08,693
Comb my hair.
601
00:51:13,938 --> 00:51:15,803
That's better.
602
00:51:16,107 --> 00:51:18,575
Put the hat on my head.
603
00:51:18,976 --> 00:51:21,877
What did you do to the lining?
604
00:51:24,949 --> 00:51:26,814
I like the brim down.
605
00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:31,119
Not all the way down.
606
00:51:35,659 --> 00:51:37,456
I�ll get that off.
607
00:51:37,628 --> 00:51:38,890
You'd better.
608
00:51:39,063 --> 00:51:40,325
Is that good now?
609
00:51:40,498 --> 00:51:43,524
I can't see out of my left eye now.
610
00:51:44,435 --> 00:51:46,562
Get the hat off!
611
00:51:47,238 --> 00:51:48,705
- I know, I�ll just...
- Comb it again.
612
00:51:48,873 --> 00:51:50,204
Yeah, OK.
613
00:51:50,374 --> 00:51:52,103
How's that?
614
00:51:52,710 --> 00:51:54,075
Fix it right.
615
00:51:59,216 --> 00:52:00,808
That's better.
616
00:52:01,051 --> 00:52:05,420
Thank you. There's just...
Can I get that strand hanging?
617
00:52:05,656 --> 00:52:07,453
Please do.
618
00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:10,355
That's my eyebrow.
619
00:52:13,764 --> 00:52:16,995
No, what happened to my hat?
620
00:52:25,876 --> 00:52:28,709
Darling. I see you've met Herby.
621
00:52:28,879 --> 00:52:30,710
Yeah.
622
00:52:31,182 --> 00:52:32,547
Yeah, I met Herby.
623
00:52:32,716 --> 00:52:34,581
I�ll fix...
624
00:52:40,858 --> 00:52:43,019
Look at me. Look at how I look.
625
00:52:43,194 --> 00:52:45,219
Look at how I look.
626
00:52:49,900 --> 00:52:51,765
What are you doing?
627
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:37,510
Herbert. Not that room.
628
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,375
Katie!
629
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:24,121
- Hi.
- Oh, no.
630
00:54:24,995 --> 00:54:26,758
- Oh, no.
- Oh, but...
631
00:54:26,930 --> 00:54:28,454
- No!
- Oh, but I...
632
00:54:28,632 --> 00:54:31,965
- No! No!
- Oh, but, I wouldn't...
633
00:54:37,408 --> 00:54:40,309
Was it something I said?
634
00:56:06,797 --> 00:56:10,130
Say, kid, why do you look so strange?
635
00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:14,168
I don't know. I looked like that
from the first day I was born.
636
00:56:15,439 --> 00:56:18,033
Say, tell me something.
637
00:56:18,208 --> 00:56:21,905
Did you ever see someone
that you thought you met before?
638
00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:23,607
I�ll be a son of a gun.
639
00:56:23,781 --> 00:56:26,841
That's what I was just thinking that
very minute that you said that.
640
00:56:27,317 --> 00:56:30,753
- You're kidding.
- No, I was saying to myself just now,
641
00:56:30,921 --> 00:56:32,616
"Herbert"... That's my name, Herbert.
642
00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:34,781
"Did you ever see someone
that you thought you saw...?"
643
00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:37,825
I thought I saw you before.
Did I meet you here some time?
644
00:56:37,995 --> 00:56:40,862
Well, very honestly, kid,
you probably saw one of my pictures.
645
00:56:41,031 --> 00:56:43,898
That's it, yeah. Up on one of
the girls' dressers I must have saw it.
646
00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:46,297
No, one of my films on the screen.
647
00:56:46,470 --> 00:56:49,166
Oh, you mean in a newsreel?
You were in an accident?
648
00:56:49,339 --> 00:56:51,330
No, no, kid.
649
00:56:51,508 --> 00:56:53,203
Look, don't you ever go to movies?
650
00:56:53,377 --> 00:56:54,969
Yeah, all the time.
I love to go to movies.
651
00:56:55,145 --> 00:56:56,669
I go special to see the cops
and robbers.
652
00:56:56,847 --> 00:56:59,145
One time, I just want to see
the robbers win, once.
653
00:56:59,650 --> 00:57:02,118
Well, in that case you must have seen
one of my movies.
654
00:57:02,286 --> 00:57:06,780
I�ve always played the ga... the robber,
who's been trying to win for years.
655
00:57:06,957 --> 00:57:09,755
But you know how it is,
crime doesn't pay.
656
00:57:10,294 --> 00:57:12,694
But really...
Are you in the movies, really?
657
00:57:12,863 --> 00:57:14,160
A movie star?
658
00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:17,366
That's what I�ve been trying to tell you.
659
00:57:19,336 --> 00:57:20,598
I�m George Raft.
660
00:57:21,839 --> 00:57:23,363
Yeah?
661
00:57:24,908 --> 00:57:26,000
You are, huh?
662
00:57:26,176 --> 00:57:27,905
Then you would know
and prove it by telling me,
663
00:57:28,078 --> 00:57:30,672
what was the name of the movie
you was in where you flipped the coin?
664
00:57:30,848 --> 00:57:32,076
Scarface. Satisfied?
665
00:57:32,249 --> 00:57:34,240
No, because anybody would
know the name of that movie.
666
00:57:34,418 --> 00:57:37,854
Show it to me by proving
that you can flip the coin.
667
00:57:38,322 --> 00:57:41,951
- Oh, this is getting ridiculous.
- Chicken.
668
00:57:42,259 --> 00:57:46,753
No, I�m not chicken. I�ll prove it.
669
00:57:49,233 --> 00:57:50,564
George Raft, huh?
670
00:57:50,734 --> 00:57:53,259
So good you aren't with a coin, right,
Mr. Raft?
671
00:57:55,105 --> 00:57:56,868
What's the matter, wise guy?
672
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:58,371
Anybody can miss.
673
00:57:58,542 --> 00:58:02,069
- I�m not infallible.
- And you're not George Raft, either.
674
00:58:02,246 --> 00:58:04,111
Look, I�m George Raft.
675
00:58:04,281 --> 00:58:05,748
Please believe me.
676
00:58:05,916 --> 00:58:08,942
Look, aside from playing robbers
on the screen,
677
00:58:09,119 --> 00:58:11,314
I used to do a lot of dancing
in my pictures, right?
678
00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:14,013
Yeah, well, I saw him do
some of that dancing, yeah.
679
00:58:14,191 --> 00:58:16,591
All right, then give me your hand
and you be the girl.
680
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:19,320
Forget it, there's no being no girl.
I don't wanna know who you are.
681
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:21,327
There's no dancing,
plus the fact I can't follow.
682
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:23,022
Please dance with me, won't you?
683
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:24,997
All right, just once.
684
00:58:25,168 --> 00:58:26,567
I�ll put on the phonograph and see...
685
00:58:26,737 --> 00:58:29,331
Oh, I�ll put it on. You stay right here.
686
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:37,279
I�ve never done this before.
687
01:00:06,471 --> 01:00:08,701
Hello, Fay. You all right?
688
01:00:10,508 --> 01:00:14,376
I�m sorry, Herbert, I didn't see you.
Yes, I�m fine.
689
01:00:15,179 --> 01:00:18,080
Yeah, you're fine, all right.
690
01:00:18,249 --> 01:00:20,410
You're a fine fibber.
691
01:00:22,053 --> 01:00:23,418
Well...
692
01:00:23,654 --> 01:00:26,646
...to be perfectly honest,
I�m not so fine.
693
01:00:27,758 --> 01:00:30,283
I had an audition and...
694
01:00:30,895 --> 01:00:32,795
I�d rather not talk about it,
if you don't mind.
695
01:00:34,298 --> 01:00:38,291
Oh, no... I don't mind if you don't want
to talk about it.
696
01:00:41,706 --> 01:00:43,333
You didn't get it, huh?
697
01:00:45,710 --> 01:00:47,337
No, I didn't...
698
01:00:47,578 --> 01:00:49,842
...and I guess I never will.
699
01:00:50,948 --> 01:00:53,508
Well, you certainly won't
if you say you won't.
700
01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:56,448
You gotta learn, Fay,
you have to think negative.
701
01:00:57,155 --> 01:01:00,147
- You mean positive.
- Yeah, positively.
702
01:01:00,324 --> 01:01:03,691
I mean, that's what I meant,
to think that way.
703
01:01:03,861 --> 01:01:05,123
Because, I mean, really,
704
01:01:05,296 --> 01:01:09,130
you can't expect a stranger
that meets you just for a moment
705
01:01:09,300 --> 01:01:11,530
to think any more of you
than you think of yourself,
706
01:01:11,702 --> 01:01:13,693
after knowing you for so long.
707
01:01:13,938 --> 01:01:15,303
Right?
708
01:01:16,407 --> 01:01:18,432
I guess you're right, Herbert.
709
01:01:20,111 --> 01:01:22,841
But I get so depressed sometimes.
710
01:01:23,781 --> 01:01:26,079
I don't know if I can explain it...
711
01:01:28,653 --> 01:01:30,553
...but I always feel...
712
01:01:31,589 --> 01:01:34,456
...that there isn't anyone
in the world but me.
713
01:01:36,227 --> 01:01:39,424
That everyone else has gone
to a happier place and...
714
01:01:40,565 --> 01:01:42,999
...it just isn't my turn yet.
715
01:01:44,135 --> 01:01:46,660
I don't know, does that sound silly?
716
01:01:47,271 --> 01:01:49,671
No, it doesn't sound silly, except...
717
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:51,205
...it sounds silly.
718
01:01:51,375 --> 01:01:53,240
Well, no,
what I mean to say is that,
719
01:01:53,411 --> 01:01:56,403
I think the only time you
should feel that way
720
01:01:56,581 --> 01:01:59,141
is when you know
no one cares for you.
721
01:01:59,317 --> 01:02:02,047
And as long as there are those
that care for you,
722
01:02:02,220 --> 01:02:04,279
you shouldn't feel that way.
723
01:02:05,189 --> 01:02:08,022
I don't know of anyone
who really cares for me.
724
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:12,191
Well, I care for you, Fay,
and I�m an anyone.
725
01:02:13,431 --> 01:02:15,695
Oh, that is nice, Herbert.
726
01:02:17,001 --> 01:02:18,866
And you're nice.
727
01:02:26,477 --> 01:02:28,172
And I hope we're not imposing.
728
01:02:28,346 --> 01:02:30,007
Oh, of course not.
729
01:02:30,181 --> 01:02:32,376
And it certainly didn't take
you people long
730
01:02:32,550 --> 01:02:35,075
getting around to paying me
that visit we discussed.
731
01:02:35,253 --> 01:02:37,244
Oh, well, we do things quickly,
Miss Welenmelon.
732
01:02:37,421 --> 01:02:40,219
Oh, I�m terribly sorry.
This is my associate Miss Reed.
733
01:02:40,391 --> 01:02:43,326
She's in charge of
research and information.
734
01:02:43,494 --> 01:02:45,553
Well, I�m very happy to know you,
Miss Reed.
735
01:02:45,730 --> 01:02:47,459
Oh, thank you, Miss Welenmelon,
736
01:02:47,632 --> 01:02:50,294
and it really is a delight
to finally meet you.
737
01:02:50,468 --> 01:02:54,802
I loved watching you years ago
when I went to the opera with my dad.
738
01:02:54,972 --> 01:02:56,599
He was one of your biggest fans.
739
01:02:56,774 --> 01:03:00,505
Yes, and there were many, many more
fans that would love seeing you again.
740
01:03:00,678 --> 01:03:05,240
You know, on our telecast, we play to
over 50 million people in one night.
741
01:03:05,416 --> 01:03:07,316
Fifty million?
742
01:03:07,485 --> 01:03:09,715
- Isn't that right, Miss Reed?
- Yes, 50 million people.
743
01:03:09,887 --> 01:03:11,684
My heavens.
744
01:03:11,856 --> 01:03:15,519
Well, how does your program work?
Is it done in your studio?
745
01:03:15,693 --> 01:03:16,921
Well, no, no, not actually.
746
01:03:17,094 --> 01:03:21,394
You see, what we really do is to bring
the cameras and the crew to you.
747
01:03:21,565 --> 01:03:22,793
In your home.
748
01:03:22,967 --> 01:03:26,334
That's why the show is called
Up Your Street.
749
01:03:26,971 --> 01:03:29,667
Well, it certainly sounds exciting.
750
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:32,331
And I would love doing it.
751
01:03:32,510 --> 01:03:35,001
Oh, Mr. Zousman,
isn't that just divine?
752
01:03:35,179 --> 01:03:36,612
That's just wonderful.
753
01:03:36,781 --> 01:03:40,182
Now, Miss Reed will fill you in,
and we'll be ready in no time at all.
754
01:04:43,647 --> 01:04:47,014
All right, fellas, coffee break's over!
Back to work!
755
01:04:59,196 --> 01:05:00,595
Thirty-one.
756
01:05:01,198 --> 01:05:04,429
Hold, hold it, hold it.
Watch this cable over here.
757
01:05:16,113 --> 01:05:18,638
The cable.
That guy has the cable.
758
01:05:26,891 --> 01:05:28,586
- Watch the cable.
- Whoops.
759
01:05:38,369 --> 01:05:40,530
Magneto head.
760
01:05:44,008 --> 01:05:45,737
Hey! Hey, kid!
761
01:05:45,910 --> 01:05:47,138
Hey, you up there!
762
01:05:47,311 --> 01:05:49,279
I want to see if my panel
is working yet.
763
01:05:49,447 --> 01:05:51,642
Will you say something into
the microphone for me?
764
01:05:51,949 --> 01:05:54,679
- Now?
- Oh, just a second.
765
01:05:57,555 --> 01:05:59,079
OK.
766
01:06:00,357 --> 01:06:04,259
Come in, Tracy. Pear Shape. Over.
767
01:06:04,695 --> 01:06:08,153
Geronimo!
768
01:06:12,169 --> 01:06:14,228
Are you all right, man?
769
01:06:14,405 --> 01:06:16,737
Was that too loud?
770
01:06:17,141 --> 01:06:18,540
Wait.
771
01:06:30,588 --> 01:06:31,953
Mister?
772
01:06:32,122 --> 01:06:33,714
Mister?
773
01:06:34,825 --> 01:06:36,452
Mister?
774
01:06:39,230 --> 01:06:40,663
Mister?
775
01:06:42,533 --> 01:06:44,524
Oh, mister, I�m sorry.
776
01:06:44,702 --> 01:06:48,536
I�m awfully sorry.
Here, let me get you up.
777
01:06:49,540 --> 01:06:53,169
Wow, you really fell into that thing.
Are you all right, mister?
778
01:06:53,344 --> 01:06:54,606
You OK?
779
01:06:54,778 --> 01:06:57,872
I�m sor... Are you all right?
780
01:07:01,218 --> 01:07:03,516
But are you all right?
781
01:07:24,842 --> 01:07:29,677
I�m... O... K!
782
01:08:15,025 --> 01:08:17,220
All right, five minutes,
five minutes, everybody!
783
01:08:17,394 --> 01:08:20,795
Let's look sharp.
Five minutes to airtime.
784
01:09:04,842 --> 01:09:07,174
Hey, will somebody up there
give me a test on this?
785
01:09:10,014 --> 01:09:11,379
Geronimo!
786
01:10:04,501 --> 01:10:06,332
Let me see so I can...
787
01:10:06,503 --> 01:10:08,994
- Herbert!
- You look great!
788
01:10:09,606 --> 01:10:13,906
Yeah, I�m very, very...
I dressed up. I just dressed up.
789
01:10:14,078 --> 01:10:16,046
When are we gonna
be on television, when?
790
01:10:16,613 --> 01:10:19,605
Hello, New York. This is a test.
791
01:10:20,918 --> 01:10:22,783
Eight seconds.
792
01:10:22,953 --> 01:10:24,978
This is five.
793
01:10:29,493 --> 01:10:31,620
Good evening. This is Del Moore.
794
01:10:31,795 --> 01:10:35,231
May I once again welcome you to the
show that doesn't come from a studio,
795
01:10:35,399 --> 01:10:38,027
a show that wasn't made
in some far-off land,
796
01:10:38,202 --> 01:10:42,969
a show that can and does come
from Up Your Street.
797
01:10:43,140 --> 01:10:45,540
And here, folks, is your host
for Up Your Street,
798
01:10:45,709 --> 01:10:49,372
Westbrook Van Voorhis.
Mr. Van Voorhis.
799
01:10:49,546 --> 01:10:50,911
Good evening.
800
01:10:52,983 --> 01:10:56,316
Tonight we are going to visit two
outstanding personalities.
801
01:10:56,487 --> 01:10:58,717
One from the world of
old show business
802
01:10:58,889 --> 01:11:00,982
and one from the world of sports.
803
01:11:01,158 --> 01:11:04,719
Our sports figure is none other
than Audrey Whitefish,
804
01:11:04,895 --> 01:11:09,127
the little 123-pound,
red-haired lass from Dublin,
805
01:11:09,299 --> 01:11:14,236
who is the first lady ever to swim
the Mississippi River, lengthwise.
806
01:11:14,404 --> 01:11:15,632
And the other personality,
807
01:11:15,806 --> 01:11:19,674
a favorite of mine for years,
and I�m sure a favorite of yours,
808
01:11:19,843 --> 01:11:22,505
Miss Helen N. Welenmelon.
809
01:11:22,679 --> 01:11:24,169
Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
810
01:11:24,348 --> 01:11:27,545
it's been a long time since
Miss Welenmelon retired,
811
01:11:27,718 --> 01:11:32,178
and I�m sure you'll be as thrilled
to see her once again as I will.
812
01:11:32,356 --> 01:11:35,757
And we can then tell the story of what
she's been doing all these years,
813
01:11:35,926 --> 01:11:37,154
and why.
814
01:11:37,327 --> 01:11:39,261
All right, 30 seconds!
815
01:11:40,697 --> 01:11:42,460
Gosh, that's marvelous!
816
01:11:46,870 --> 01:11:49,930
- Excuse me.
- Sorry.
817
01:11:50,107 --> 01:11:52,735
I�d just like to check
but there's a lamp there.
818
01:11:55,312 --> 01:11:57,177
Ten seconds.
819
01:11:59,983 --> 01:12:02,816
All right, get ready,
we're coming out of commercial.
820
01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:05,682
Miss Welenmelon, I�m so excited and
glad. You're gonna be on television.
821
01:12:05,856 --> 01:12:08,347
If you're gonna mention my name,
just say it's Herbert H. Heebert,
822
01:12:08,525 --> 01:12:10,925
and it's Milltown Junior College,
and I�m much taller in person.
823
01:12:11,094 --> 01:12:12,618
Hello, America! I�m so glad for you.
824
01:12:12,796 --> 01:12:15,026
You're gonna be a famous person.
They'll see you in person.
825
01:12:15,199 --> 01:12:19,295
And here she is,
Miss Helen N. Welenmelon.
826
01:12:19,469 --> 01:12:20,766
Oh, I think they said your name.
827
01:12:20,938 --> 01:12:22,701
They said your name...
828
01:12:24,474 --> 01:12:27,102
And a good evening to you,
829
01:12:27,277 --> 01:12:31,976
Mr. Van Voo... Van Voorhis.
830
01:12:32,583 --> 01:12:36,542
I am most happy to have you on
Up Your Street.
831
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:39,814
I don't know where he came from,
but she's trying to be polite to him.
832
01:12:39,990 --> 01:12:42,049
Helen N. Welenmelon.
833
01:12:42,226 --> 01:12:46,959
Well, it certainly has been
a very exciting...
834
01:12:47,130 --> 01:12:50,065
...and a most delightful experience...
835
01:12:50,234 --> 01:12:52,998
...preparing for this electronic meeting...
836
01:12:53,170 --> 01:12:57,163
- My button's stuck on your carnation.
- ... with you, Mr. Van Voorhis.
837
01:12:57,341 --> 01:13:02,904
And we, too, have been excited about
seeing you again, as I said before.
838
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:05,207
My button is stuck on her flower.
839
01:13:05,382 --> 01:13:08,579
Tell me, Miss Welenmelon...
840
01:13:09,119 --> 01:13:12,577
...being as curious as I know
the viewers are...
841
01:13:12,756 --> 01:13:14,087
I got free just then.
842
01:13:14,258 --> 01:13:17,887
What about the size
of the big house you occupy?
843
01:13:18,962 --> 01:13:20,896
Would you mind telling us about that?
844
01:13:21,064 --> 01:13:22,554
Tell him.
845
01:13:22,733 --> 01:13:25,031
Not at all, Mr. Van Voorhis.
846
01:13:25,202 --> 01:13:28,137
- I... You see...
- They're calling me.
847
01:13:28,305 --> 01:13:30,899
...when the late Mr. Welenmelon
and I were married,
848
01:13:31,074 --> 01:13:33,440
we wanted to have a lot of children,
849
01:13:33,610 --> 01:13:38,673
that is, a large family,
is what I really meant to say.
850
01:13:38,849 --> 01:13:42,376
But unfortunately...
851
01:13:42,552 --> 01:13:47,956
...Mr. Welenmelon was taken from me
just shortly after we were married.
852
01:13:48,125 --> 01:13:51,060
So we really didn't have
much of a chance, you see.
853
01:13:51,228 --> 01:13:52,661
Yes, indeed I do.
854
01:13:52,829 --> 01:13:57,493
But we happen to know that you do
have many children actually,
855
01:13:57,668 --> 01:13:58,965
do you not?
856
01:13:59,136 --> 01:14:01,934
Yes, I do, Mr. Van Voorhis.
857
01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:07,270
And I�m quite sure, due to modesty,
ladies and gentlemen,
858
01:14:07,444 --> 01:14:10,811
Miss Welenmelon hesitates to tell us
859
01:14:10,981 --> 01:14:14,473
something we kind of found out
in our own sneaky little way:
860
01:14:15,419 --> 01:14:19,355
That she went through a pretty rough
time of it when she started out,
861
01:14:19,523 --> 01:14:22,492
and therefore gives
room and board to the ladies
862
01:14:22,659 --> 01:14:24,957
that are trying to do the very
same thing
863
01:14:25,128 --> 01:14:28,962
she tried and succeeded in doing,
many, many years ago.
864
01:14:29,132 --> 01:14:34,695
Well, thank you for the kind words,
Mr. Van Voorhis,
865
01:14:34,871 --> 01:14:39,001
but you know the old saying, "The...
866
01:14:40,877 --> 01:14:47,373
"The giver gets and the taker has
and the receiver wants. "
867
01:14:48,919 --> 01:14:50,944
Yes, indeed I do. But first,
868
01:14:51,121 --> 01:14:54,557
a little surprise we have for you,
Miss Welenmelon.
869
01:14:54,725 --> 01:14:58,126
Your number one helper,
Herbert Heebert, and some of the girls,
870
01:14:58,295 --> 01:15:01,162
put on a little performance before
our cameras this morning,
871
01:15:01,331 --> 01:15:03,492
which we will now show you.
872
01:15:48,278 --> 01:15:51,577
If you hate wine
873
01:15:51,748 --> 01:15:55,081
Don't go to Paris
874
01:15:55,252 --> 01:15:58,881
Asleep by nine
875
01:15:59,056 --> 01:16:02,048
Don't go to Paris
876
01:16:02,225 --> 01:16:08,687
If there'll be no Mimi or Louisa
877
01:16:08,932 --> 01:16:15,428
Pass it by
Don't apply for a visa
878
01:16:16,706 --> 01:16:20,142
If love's a bore
879
01:16:20,310 --> 01:16:23,108
Don't go to Paris
880
01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:26,181
Behind each door
881
01:16:26,349 --> 01:16:30,376
You'll find romance
882
01:16:30,787 --> 01:16:34,746
Better go somewhere else
883
01:16:35,292 --> 01:16:38,455
Don't take a chance
884
01:16:38,829 --> 01:16:42,356
For if you want a place that's quiet
885
01:16:42,532 --> 01:16:46,866
And you're living on a diet
886
01:16:47,037 --> 01:16:53,442
Stay away from France
887
01:16:56,279 --> 01:16:59,214
Sans boire du vin
888
01:16:59,382 --> 01:17:02,146
N'allez pas � Paris
889
01:17:02,319 --> 01:17:05,152
Entre chaque porte
890
01:17:05,322 --> 01:17:08,348
On trouve ce qu'on veut
891
01:17:08,525 --> 01:17:12,859
Si votre coeur a vieilli
892
01:17:13,263 --> 01:17:17,757
Don't take a chance
893
01:17:18,502 --> 01:17:23,906
But if you like to live a trifle
894
01:17:24,074 --> 01:17:26,474
Having fun beneath the Eiffel
895
01:17:26,643 --> 01:17:29,635
Come with me
896
01:17:30,347 --> 01:17:36,479
To France
897
01:18:32,242 --> 01:18:37,475
We really hate to cut the kids' show,
but unfortunately, as you know,
898
01:18:37,647 --> 01:18:40,445
there is still a great deal
for us to do.
899
01:18:40,617 --> 01:18:42,915
So may we take a quick look
900
01:18:43,086 --> 01:18:46,715
at the rest of your lovely home,
Miss Welenmelon?
901
01:18:46,890 --> 01:18:50,587
Yes, indeed, Mr. Van Voorhis.
Won't you come this way?
902
01:19:09,679 --> 01:19:13,274
Oh, Miss Welenmelon,
we're still on television. I�m glad!
903
01:19:14,618 --> 01:19:17,109
I�m sorry, I didn't know
that you were busy.
904
01:19:17,287 --> 01:19:19,414
This is... Oh, excuse me.
905
01:19:19,589 --> 01:19:21,181
This is my glasses.
906
01:19:21,358 --> 01:19:24,418
- This is the elevator, Mr. Van Voorhis.
- Yeah, this is the elevator.
907
01:19:24,594 --> 01:19:27,119
- It takes us from floor to floor.
- Floor to floor.
908
01:19:27,297 --> 01:19:29,731
And in a house this size, you know...
909
01:19:29,899 --> 01:19:31,457
You have to have a large...
910
01:19:45,148 --> 01:19:50,677
And good night
from Up Your Street.
911
01:20:12,775 --> 01:20:15,539
I can't do it.
You better show me again.
912
01:20:17,547 --> 01:20:19,811
It�s all that lipstick that makes it bad.
913
01:20:19,982 --> 01:20:22,416
There's not much. I�m sorry.
914
01:20:26,055 --> 01:20:27,522
All right, now, listen, Herbert.
915
01:20:27,690 --> 01:20:34,619
"Red roses ruin regular reasons
rightly read reading. "
916
01:20:34,797 --> 01:20:36,025
Now say that.
917
01:20:36,599 --> 01:20:38,226
"Red roses ruin regular reasons. "
918
01:20:38,401 --> 01:20:40,335
Red roses...
Red roses ruin regular reasons.
919
01:20:40,503 --> 01:20:41,834
- Redden roses?
- No.
920
01:20:42,004 --> 01:20:44,165
- Red roses ruin regular reasons.
- Red roses...
921
01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:47,468
"Now, please practice playing pool
politely, poorly, proudly. "
922
01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:46,728
Hi, honey.
923
01:22:58,074 --> 01:23:00,565
What is that? It�s mov...
924
01:26:23,479 --> 01:26:26,607
Boy, what imagination
can do for you.
925
01:26:30,553 --> 01:26:32,612
Ma!
926
01:26:59,415 --> 01:27:01,474
Early in the morning
Work, work, work
927
01:27:01,650 --> 01:27:03,584
Early in the morning
Do not shirk
928
01:27:03,753 --> 01:27:04,742
Rum pum pum
929
01:27:04,987 --> 01:27:06,420
Miss Welenmelon.
930
01:27:06,589 --> 01:27:08,750
Oh, Miss Welenmelon. Miss...
931
01:27:08,924 --> 01:27:12,451
Oh, Welenmelon. Miss Welenmelon.
Miss Welenmelon.
932
01:27:12,628 --> 01:27:14,095
Katie?
933
01:27:18,701 --> 01:27:21,033
Baby's loose!
934
01:27:21,203 --> 01:27:23,171
Baby's what?
935
01:27:24,640 --> 01:27:27,404
Baby's what?
Say Baby ain't.
936
01:27:28,844 --> 01:27:32,211
Baby. Hurry up, Baby.
Come on, Baby, where are you?
937
01:27:32,381 --> 01:27:36,283
Say that ain't true.
Say it's a lie, Baby ain't.
938
01:27:36,452 --> 01:27:37,919
Baby... Oh!
939
01:27:38,087 --> 01:27:39,384
Oh, it's true.
940
01:27:40,389 --> 01:27:42,448
Where Baby?
941
01:27:43,659 --> 01:27:45,627
I�m scared!
942
01:27:47,263 --> 01:27:49,322
All right, Baby. Baby!
943
01:27:49,498 --> 01:27:52,023
Come on, Baby. Come here, Baby.
Come here, Baby.
944
01:27:52,201 --> 01:27:56,638
Come on, Baby, where are you?
We're looking everywhere for you.
945
01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:02,471
Save me from that thing.
946
01:28:02,645 --> 01:28:04,237
Is it out there?
947
01:28:04,413 --> 01:28:05,903
Nice Baby.
948
01:28:06,081 --> 01:28:08,345
Oh, I�m scared to death.
949
01:28:11,086 --> 01:28:14,146
- Oh, Herby, Herby, Herby.
- It�s Herbert, Herbert, Herbert.
950
01:28:14,323 --> 01:28:16,723
And just what, may I ask,
is so funny?
951
01:28:16,892 --> 01:28:20,123
You are, Herbert. Now, why don't you
just simmer down and relax.
952
01:28:20,296 --> 01:28:23,163
- Baby won't hurt you.
- Yeah, but does Baby know that?
953
01:28:23,332 --> 01:28:26,859
Just as soon as I can find him,
I�ll show you how harmless he is.
954
01:28:28,671 --> 01:28:30,605
There you are.
955
01:28:30,773 --> 01:28:34,834
- Where?
- There he is, right behind you.
956
01:28:35,010 --> 01:28:37,001
I don't believe it!
957
01:28:38,347 --> 01:28:39,644
Oh, Baby.
958
01:28:39,815 --> 01:28:42,306
Now, where were you?
You come right on out here.
959
01:28:42,484 --> 01:28:45,681
Well, come on. Yeah, that's good.
Come on.
960
01:28:45,855 --> 01:28:47,880
Good. That's a good dog.
961
01:28:48,457 --> 01:28:51,722
Oh! Oh! Get it away.
962
01:28:51,894 --> 01:28:53,623
That's gonna bite again.
963
01:28:53,796 --> 01:28:55,821
That... I wouldn't...
964
01:28:55,998 --> 01:28:57,863
I�m... That thing bit me.
965
01:28:58,033 --> 01:29:00,467
I�m... It attacked me from...
966
01:29:00,636 --> 01:29:02,900
I wasn't even ready.
967
01:29:03,072 --> 01:29:05,063
And I�m a coward.
968
01:29:06,876 --> 01:29:10,676
Gee, I�m sorry I�m late, kids.
Have any of you seen Herby around?
969
01:29:10,713 --> 01:29:13,307
- No.
- Why, you doing Macbeth tonight?
970
01:29:14,283 --> 01:29:16,513
No, smart aleck.
971
01:29:16,685 --> 01:29:18,312
The heel broke on my shoe,
972
01:29:18,487 --> 01:29:20,580
and I just wanted him
to go to the shoemaker
973
01:29:20,756 --> 01:29:23,452
and get it fixed before it closes.
974
01:29:25,194 --> 01:29:27,685
Oh, and when you find him,
will you tell him to pick up my TV set?
975
01:29:27,863 --> 01:29:29,091
I left it at the repair shop.
976
01:29:29,265 --> 01:29:31,756
I don't know what we did
until Herby came along.
977
01:29:31,934 --> 01:29:34,562
He irons sheets for me
like you don't believe.
978
01:29:34,737 --> 01:29:36,705
Whoever got that idea
to make him feel needed
979
01:29:36,872 --> 01:29:39,466
every time he wanted to leave,
ought to get a medal.
980
01:29:39,642 --> 01:29:41,007
It works every time.
981
01:29:42,912 --> 01:29:44,846
Are you all finished?
982
01:29:45,247 --> 01:29:47,977
Does anybody need Herbert
for anything else?
983
01:29:48,150 --> 01:29:51,517
I wonder if any of you have
ever really needed Herbert,
984
01:29:51,687 --> 01:29:54,383
just to sit down and talk to.
985
01:29:54,623 --> 01:29:55,920
Well, I did.
986
01:29:56,091 --> 01:29:57,718
He's really very...
987
01:29:57,893 --> 01:29:59,383
...smart.
988
01:29:59,561 --> 01:30:01,859
And very nice too.
989
01:30:02,197 --> 01:30:04,665
He'd make a wonderful guy
for some girl...
990
01:30:04,833 --> 01:30:07,301
...if she really needed him.
991
01:30:07,970 --> 01:30:11,462
I think we should all be very ashamed
at having deceived him.
992
01:30:13,042 --> 01:30:16,534
I�ll admit it's nice to be needed,
really needed.
993
01:30:17,413 --> 01:30:19,074
But to tell somebody you need them
994
01:30:19,248 --> 01:30:22,149
just so they'll stay around
and run errands for you,
995
01:30:22,318 --> 01:30:24,752
that's not so nice.
996
01:30:24,920 --> 01:30:29,016
Gee, honey, I don't think anyone
really meant to be unkind.
997
01:30:31,860 --> 01:30:33,953
I�m sure they didn't.
998
01:30:34,496 --> 01:30:37,329
And I�m sorry I made it
sound that way.
999
01:30:39,068 --> 01:30:41,662
Listening to your conversation...
1000
01:30:42,404 --> 01:30:44,895
...I just couldn't help thinking that...
1001
01:30:45,441 --> 01:30:49,639
...we're all a little guilty of deceiving
someone we care for...
1002
01:30:50,446 --> 01:30:52,414
...and, more importantly...
1003
01:30:52,581 --> 01:30:54,606
...who cares for us.
1004
01:30:55,184 --> 01:30:59,177
We know you're right, Fay, but, gee,
how do we keep from losing him?
1005
01:30:59,355 --> 01:31:01,152
You don't.
1006
01:31:01,690 --> 01:31:04,659
If he wants to go, let him go.
1007
01:31:05,728 --> 01:31:10,756
Did you ever stop to think that Herbert
is tired of being needed all the time?
1008
01:31:11,633 --> 01:31:14,727
I�ll admit it's nice, but maybe
he'd really like to get out of here
1009
01:31:14,903 --> 01:31:17,565
and do a little something for himself.
1010
01:31:18,707 --> 01:31:23,201
Maybe he's tired of being
a handyman for a bunch of girls.
1011
01:31:24,113 --> 01:31:26,809
Let him go if he wants to.
1012
01:31:35,457 --> 01:31:37,118
Well, so long.
1013
01:31:44,967 --> 01:31:47,959
I�m not going out, like to shop.
It�s just like...
1014
01:31:48,137 --> 01:31:50,002
For a long time.
1015
01:31:51,874 --> 01:31:53,739
Aloha.
1016
01:31:53,909 --> 01:31:55,604
And... thirty.
1017
01:31:55,778 --> 01:31:59,805
When the door slams, I�m... my
life is out of yours.
1018
01:32:06,455 --> 01:32:10,755
I�m lea... I�m packed to go out
and I�m leaving.
1019
01:32:10,926 --> 01:32:12,154
So long.
1020
01:32:12,327 --> 01:32:16,388
As I start out,
there's no stopping me now.
1021
01:32:17,366 --> 01:32:20,529
My feet are gonna really take me.
1022
01:32:23,338 --> 01:32:24,999
That's it.
1023
01:32:26,442 --> 01:32:28,706
Anybody...? Goodbye.
1024
01:32:30,813 --> 01:32:36,149
OK, well, all things have to come
to an end, and that's now, the end.
1025
01:32:39,455 --> 01:32:41,047
So long?
1026
01:32:42,991 --> 01:32:45,221
Farewell and...
1027
01:32:48,230 --> 01:32:50,221
You sore about something?
1028
01:32:52,167 --> 01:32:53,964
Herbert.
1029
01:33:08,650 --> 01:33:11,210
We really want you to stay.
1030
01:33:11,954 --> 01:33:15,947
We'd be the happiest girls in the world
if you'd never leave.
1031
01:33:25,501 --> 01:33:29,130
We didn't want to tell you
we needed you just to keep you here.
1032
01:33:30,372 --> 01:33:33,273
Actually, we need you very much.
1033
01:33:33,509 --> 01:33:36,478
But not just to run errands for us.
1034
01:33:37,779 --> 01:33:40,805
We need you because
you're a nice person.
1035
01:33:40,983 --> 01:33:43,975
And nice persons
are needed everywhere.
1036
01:33:45,387 --> 01:33:47,252
We just figured that...
1037
01:33:47,422 --> 01:33:51,153
...you were tired of working
with a bunch of girls, and that...
1038
01:33:51,326 --> 01:33:53,419
...maybe you'd like to go
someplace else,
1039
01:33:53,595 --> 01:33:56,257
where you can think
of yourself more.
1040
01:33:59,768 --> 01:34:02,896
Well, that's all very nice,
what you said, and...
1041
01:34:03,071 --> 01:34:06,063
And to tell you the truth,
and be very honest with you,
1042
01:34:06,241 --> 01:34:08,175
I don't really know
why I was leaving.
1043
01:34:08,343 --> 01:34:13,076
I mean, I like it here very much,
and I like everybody a lot.
1044
01:34:13,882 --> 01:34:16,043
And I like to be needed.
1045
01:34:16,418 --> 01:34:18,477
But honestly needed.
1046
01:34:19,321 --> 01:34:22,119
And, well, after what you just said...
1047
01:34:22,424 --> 01:34:25,860
...I wouldn't leave here
for anything or anyone.
1048
01:34:27,629 --> 01:34:29,620
Oh, Herbert.
1049
01:34:29,831 --> 01:34:32,800
It�s Herby. H-E-R-B-Y.
1050
01:34:32,968 --> 01:34:34,435
Herby.
1051
01:34:34,836 --> 01:34:36,098
Yeah.
1052
01:34:51,954 --> 01:34:53,581
It�s just Baby.
1053
01:34:53,755 --> 01:34:55,723
That little...
1054
01:34:55,891 --> 01:34:57,791
That small dog.
1055
01:34:57,960 --> 01:34:59,587
It�s got a big throat, that's all.
1056
01:34:59,962 --> 01:35:03,329
Baby. Where are you, sweetheart?
1057
01:35:03,498 --> 01:35:06,695
Baby. Sweetheart.
1058
01:35:07,202 --> 01:35:09,170
Little Baby.
1059
01:35:21,550 --> 01:35:23,643
Ma.
1060
01:35:23,819 --> 01:35:26,583
Ma! You see that pussycat?
1061
01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:42,999
5@y3
1062
01:35:43,305 --> 01:35:49,910
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