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1
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,679
Living a life of crime
is like a sandcastle,
2
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,399
you can build it
as high you want,
3
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,439
but the tide could take
it away at any point.
4
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,439
You never knew when,
living in constant fear.
5
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,960
Not knowing if the people around
you were pals or new enemies.
6
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,799
Who's working for who?
7
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:33,159
Who is lying to who? Who's
a friend? Who's a foe?
8
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:37,080
And who's the sleeping enemy
you didn't even know about?
9
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,440
Vamos.
10
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,559
OK. Lovely palm trees.
11
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,879
Yeah, have you got, like,
a sprinkling system or...
12
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,719
Looks like it's
just rainfall, mate.
13
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:27,160
Do you get much rain here?
In England, lots of rain-o.
14
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:32,079
Um, I'm going to
have to ask them if,
15
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,359
if, if I can call
Tash, just because
16
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,519
I always let her know when
I arrive safe and sound,
17
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,159
she'd think something's
up if I didn't call.
18
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,160
You're going to ask Pablo Escobar
if you can call your missus?
19
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:43,559
That's fucking muggy, mate.
20
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,479
What do you think he'll say if I ask
for a bit of food, maybe? Some snacks?
21
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,799
How can you be hungry now?
Yeah, stop talking about food.
22
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,919
We're about to do the
biggest deal of our life.
23
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,159
I'm starving. I mean,
we've had a 22 hour flight.
24
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,719
We've had a three hour drive
here. I've not had a morsel, mate.
25
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,479
I'm, I'm... I feel lightheaded.
26
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,760
Caballeros.
27
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,000
Les present Pablo Escobar.
28
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,560
Ola. Hi. Er, Phil
Pocket, El Capitan.
29
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,719
Hello, Pablo. El Micko.
30
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,919
I, King Plumstead.
You, King Columbia.
31
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,399
But, I'm still the
leader. He is leader.
32
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,999
Stop, stop. Um, hello.
Sorry, Mr Pablo, sir.
33
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,639
Um, I am Albert Fantoni.
34
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:36,279
Um, nice to meet you and a
very well tended to garden.
35
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,359
Um, really impressed with that.
36
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:43,479
Um, any chance I could use your
phone, telephone, by any chance?
37
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,040
I... I need to, talk
to my associates.
38
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,119
Vamos. Yeah? OK, thank you.
39
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,719
Albert, see if you can find any
snacks. Some toast or something.
40
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:57,999
Sit down. I just wanted
to say I like the Uzis and
41
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,319
pagers that all
of your men have.
42
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:05,480
Did you buy from Rumbelows or
maybe an independent retailer?
43
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,479
Pablo, I get
picture? Me and you?
44
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:17,199
I need photos of the
people/characters I meet.
45
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,000
So, I'll stand with
you, get a picture.
46
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,999
Sit down. That's the whole reel.
47
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,079
The whole reel. All of my
photos, all of my good work.
48
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,919
I don't... I don't
think he speaks English.
49
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,199
Where is the gold? Oh,
he does speak English.
50
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,239
Get the gold. I'm getting
it. He's got the gold.
51
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,799
You want, like, gold?
How's that for gold, mate?
52
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,079
OK, this is the... The gold.
53
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,319
Queen's finest
gold. We have lots.
54
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,199
This high, as tall as
Mick... Mick, stand up.
55
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:50,319
Yeah. This high.
High as me, of gold.
56
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:54,920
Shiny gold for Pablo.
Good gold? You like gold?
57
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,999
Do you want us to
come with gold?
58
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,719
He's like a little magpie,
the way he's taken it.
59
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,400
I can't believe that vicious
little bitch broke my camera.
60
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,320
Are you going to
stay there? Yeah, OK.
61
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,920
It's... Ah, OK. Um...
62
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,399
So, eight slides in total?
63
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,599
Well, seven, plus the
corkscrew and the lazy river.
64
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,039
Do you swim? Have
you got trunks?
65
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,479
Sorry, I'm imagining,
66
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,319
I'm imagining the trunks
that I'd probably wear.
67
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:37,239
Speedos. Because European
men, they often wear a Speedo.
68
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:41,719
PHONE RINGS You know, the little,
small ones. Do you have those?
69
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,319
Please pick up the phone.
70
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,200
It'll just be Albert.
I'll be a minute.
71
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,199
Natasha Fantoni.
72
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,240
Hi, Tash. Er, it's
just Albert here.
73
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,559
That's just the golf Jeeps
74
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,079
you might hear them in the
background, the golf buggies.
75
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,239
Um, and I'm just checking
in, like I always do.
76
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,999
Just... just letting you know
that the golf's going well,
77
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,479
because, you know, I'm
really, really enjoying it.
78
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:11,240
And... And the grass, I've got to
tell you, it's really, really...
79
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,599
Do you need me for something or
are you just... Oh, no. No, no.
80
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,919
Just... just letting you
know that I've checked in.
81
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,599
Er, go have fun with your mates.
Just get a hole-in-one or something.
82
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,480
Er, I love you. Yeah, bye.
83
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:38,119
Buenas tardes. What are you doing
here? This is... it's fully legit.
84
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,679
You can't get me for
anything out here.
85
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,839
My name's Andrew now.
86
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,799
Well, I'll have a nice whisky,
on the house, of course, Andrew.
87
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,879
Tash says you haven't got
any authority out here.
88
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,159
So, I don't have to
do anything you say.
89
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,799
Oh, but you will. You see,
90
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,719
I know the fella that you're in
part-ownership with in this bar.
91
00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,800
Goes by the name
of Ronnie Gatlin.
92
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,119
Whisky, yeah? Thank you, Andrew.
93
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,359
Yeah, it would be
shame, wouldn't it,
94
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,959
if Ronnie was to find out
that you was a cat's arse now,
95
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,000
wouldn't it, Sidney?
96
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,719
He would kill me, you know that.
97
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,839
The last fella that
Ronnie got wind of went by
98
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,920
the name of Frankie Cobbs.
99
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,479
Ronnie breaks into
his flat one night,
100
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:23,840
sits down and waits for him.
101
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,079
Frankie comes home and Ronnie
puts a gun to his head,
102
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,879
tells him to take
down his strides.
103
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,519
Then he pulls out
a Karambit knife.
104
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,479
You ever seen one of
them before, Sidney?
105
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,039
Yes.
106
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,879
Yeah, it's got a claw on
it, like a... like a tiger.
107
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,839
And he asked Frankie to stand
up, bend over. Oh, fuck.
108
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:46,159
Then he proceeds to cut all
109
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,839
the tendons on the
back of his knee.
110
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,879
Oh, to be fair that's...
111
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,039
Not as bad as what I was
imagining, because I was...
112
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,879
Poor sod, couldn't
stand up straight.
113
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,039
Had to spend the rest
of his life sat down.
114
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,159
Yeah, that is a pain.
115
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,799
Hm? Look, what do you want?
What... what is all this?
116
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:08,080
Let's stop all the dancing around
and the long-winded stories.
117
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,200
I want you to wear
a wire, Sidney.
118
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,240
A wire?
119
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,359
Well, is there another option?
120
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,519
You're all out of options.
121
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:24,720
You work for me now,
do you understand? Heh.
122
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,719
Evening. All right? All
right. All right, mate?
123
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,639
That's... Oh, hello.
All right, girls?
124
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,639
All right. Hello, all right?
All right? All right, mate?
125
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,999
There's quite a
lot of people. Heh.
126
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,199
Get a little drink or something.
Anything, I wouldn't mind.
127
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,920
All right, lads? Ah, hello.
128
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,519
Pablo would like to see you.
Oh, perfect, we're ready.
129
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,600
Solo. Ah, no. Um, we
always, go together.
130
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,279
Just you. Er... Did
he say just you?
131
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,039
Yeah, no, because I...
You two, go with him.
132
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,960
OK. Vamos, vamos. All right,
all right. Vamos. All right.
133
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,240
HE MUTTERS UNDER BREATH
134
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,040
Oh, my fucking world.
You're kidding me?
135
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,959
Oh, mate. A fucking
boof room, mate.
136
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,399
This is a. Well, call it
yayo. Don't be disrespectful.
137
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,639
We love this,
mate. We love yayo.
138
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,559
Look at this, all this boof. I
suppose it's like raining profit.
139
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,279
Look at that, a
boof tractor. Wow.
140
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,679
Is that a boof tractor?
You all right, lads?
141
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,759
Yes. This is it, mate.
142
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,960
Oh. OK, boys? Nice,
yeah. Love this.
143
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,240
May I have a pinkie dip?
144
00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,520
Little pinkie dip for Mick.
145
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,959
Good, yeah? Oh, straight away,
I feel that in my left eye.
146
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,799
I'm going to get proper involved,
yeah? Better than the pub grub.
147
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:12,519
Pub grub? We call shit boff pub
grub, shit boff. That's good boff.
148
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,600
Woah, woah, woah.
149
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:19,519
You all right, you all
right? You all right?
150
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,879
Yeah, I'm all right. Are you?
Yeah, I'm all right. You OK?
151
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,159
Yeah. Yeah. Here,
he likes that, mate.
152
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,639
Good? Good boff.
153
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,479
It's very strong.
You all right, yeah?
154
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,879
Fucking hell, no,
mate. No, no, no,
155
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,319
that's gone straight
through me, mate.
156
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,359
You need a shit? My
arsehole's going for a walk.
157
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,479
Um, Gustav.
158
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:39,879
Er, how do I say?
Er, my arsehole,
159
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,559
gone for a walk. I need poo-poo.
160
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:50,279
Poo-poo? Cocaine in nose,
through, boom. You have toilet?
161
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,879
Toilet? I need toilet.
Toilet, toilet. Vamos.
162
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,999
Oh, fucking thank Christ.
It's hard out here, mate.
163
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,079
Mate, I'm fucking
in bits here, mate.
164
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,360
I can use a bush, mate,
if I have to. Just...
165
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,520
I like you. Oh, I like you too.
166
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,760
Oh, OK. Yeah.
167
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:21,919
You look like me.
168
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,519
Oh, thank you very much.
That's... it's a compliment.
169
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,759
You're a... you're a very handsome
man. So, I should be so lucky.
170
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,920
How many doubles? Doubles?
171
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,279
When I know there will
be an attempt on my life,
172
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,880
I send them to die for me.
173
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,559
Oh... right.
174
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,719
How much gold
bullion do you have?
175
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:48,639
Ooft. Loads, if I'm
honest. Just lots of bars.
176
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,599
Er, hard to weigh
them. Er, what's,
177
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,559
is it the metric system
you use out here, or...
178
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:56,479
A kilo of product for
us is 5,000. Right.
179
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,759
We are moving in fifties at 225.
180
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,599
We can move to 100, at 45,
minus transportation costs.
181
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,639
Ah, yeah, that's a lot
of, a lot of numbers.
182
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,759
I'd have to get that verified.
183
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,439
Why should I trust you?
184
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,039
Um, why should, um,
185
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,879
oh, I haven't really
thought of that.
186
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,600
Um, no reason to. No, no,
reason not to, I mean.
187
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,679
Hm.
188
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:23,920
Salud.
189
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,040
Salud. Salud.
190
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:48,080
There you go, babe.
This is nice, innit?
191
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,759
Best restaurant in
Spain, lovely ambience.
192
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,719
Well, it's better than the
two Puddings in Stratford on
193
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,879
a Saturday night.
194
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,879
I used to love the Two Puddings.
Full of wrong 'uns, though.
195
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,840
Sounds about right, that's
where I met my husband.
196
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,839
Hang on, who's your husband?
I probably know him.
197
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,160
Billy. Billy who?
198
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,039
Grapes.
199
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:15,679
Billy Grapes? I bet I'd
know him, if I saw him.
200
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,359
No, you wouldn't. No, you'd...
you definitely wouldn't,
201
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,599
because he just... he
looks so different now.
202
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:25,799
Really? Yeah. Because he's
had his whole face sort of,
203
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:30,120
reconstructed in America.
204
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,999
Because of his line of work.
What's his line of work?
205
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:39,999
Well, I don't want you thinking
any less of me, of us, you know?
206
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,080
Oh, there's no saints out here.
207
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,760
How else would shit-kickers
like us be living this life?
208
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,919
Do you miss it, home?
209
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,199
I miss my old man.
We were really close.
210
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,119
Oh, you're lucky.
Mine's a prick,
211
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:02,239
treated parenting like a hobby,
and my mum weren't much better.
212
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,040
Well, I guess you've got
your brother, though.
213
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,120
I haven't got a brother.
214
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,560
I... I thought you
said you did. Nah.
215
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:20,320
I did have a brother,
but he's dead now.
216
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:27,200
Fuck, I'm... well...
I'm sorry about that.
217
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,320
I need a piss. Yeah, all right.
218
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,320
Fuck.
219
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,759
We're underwater for
about five minutes in
220
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,639
the Pacific Ocean, holding
my breath the whole time.
221
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,359
I'm just having a
little, gentle bob about,
222
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,919
quite enjoying myself, letting
the salt soak into my skin.
223
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:02,119
And then I see it, a big cunt
of a shark coming towards me,
224
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,199
eyes black with death.
225
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,679
Can I sit there? I
can't really hear Pablo.
226
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,759
Pablo ain't saying nothing,
227
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,519
he's just listening to
the story about the shark.
228
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,359
Just chill out, mate.
229
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,839
You look like you're eating
an invisible sandwich.
230
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,239
Just hold it, hold it down.
Just, just relax, while the...
231
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:22,439
Another drink? Oh, yes,
please. Mm, thank you.
232
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,599
You want to go with
her? Me? Oh, no.
233
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,439
No, you should go with
her, have some fun,
234
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,359
and then me and
Pablo can have fun.
235
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,959
I'm... I'm not going
to go with her.
236
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,519
I mean, not that I wouldn't
like to, of course, you've...
237
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,479
Beautiful dress and very sexy.
238
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:41,199
What's the problem? Oh,
no, there's no problem.
239
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,320
I'm married, you see?
That's right, yeah.
240
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,240
You don't like my gift?
241
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,600
Gift? What game are you playing?
242
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,360
Um, I'm... I'm not
playing a game.
243
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,320
Good. LAUGHTER
244
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:05,680
That was good.
245
00:15:05,681 --> 00:15:07,999
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
246
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,759
Er, what? Oh, you want
me to go with you now?
247
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,039
Go. Are you sure don't want
to maybe finish your shift
248
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,959
and see how you feel?
Go. OK. Right, OK, then.
249
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,319
Enjoy it, Albert,
mate. Enjoy the show.
250
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,159
So funny, so funny he said that.
251
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:24,559
Oh, are you having a good
night, Pabs? Pablo, sorry.
252
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,040
THEY SPEAK SPANISH
253
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:37,279
Pablo would love to watch you
get punched in the stomach.
254
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,039
What's he saying? Was it
watch you get punched?
255
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,239
Er, yeah, Pablo would like
256
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,399
to see me get punched in
the stomach. Oh, yes? OK.
257
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,959
Vamos. Yeah.
258
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,999
THEY SPEAK SPANISH
259
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,919
Do you want me? Does anyone
want me to do anything?
260
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,879
Is there any rules
to the punching in
261
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,599
the stomach game that I
should know about, or is that?
262
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,079
Muy bien, muy bien. Do
you want to punch me?
263
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,279
That's a nice punch.
264
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,480
So, right.
265
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,760
You can punch me in
the face if you want?
266
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,760
What's the fucking point?
267
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,680
Thank you. Gracia.
268
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,080
Phil?
269
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,639
This is the men's. Why
are you following me?
270
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,199
You're following me. Who
are you? Are you Old Bill?
271
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,359
No, no, I'm nobody.
272
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,400
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What do you want, nobody?
273
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,680
That's illegal.
274
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:55,039
Why have you been taking pictures
of me? "David Nelson, reporter."
275
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,079
OK, I'm covering a story.
276
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,560
A story? What story?
277
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,640
Everyone's going to
know what you did.
278
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,200
It's very calm out
there tonight, eh?
279
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,400
Oh, yeah, she's calm.
Lovely, moon tonight.
280
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,960
I wonder if any bodies
are buried out there?
281
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,600
Probably loads. I
mean, you've got...
282
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,400
scuba divers whose
air's run out...
283
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,280
swimmers caught
in the riptide...
284
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,080
submarine captains.
285
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:57,560
Skinny-dippers, you get them round
here sometimes, not tonight, sadly.
286
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,559
There was a bloke looking for you
the other day. I don't know anyone.
287
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:14,160
Specs, curly hair, ginger.
288
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,600
Scruffy.
289
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,200
It's not ringing any bells.
290
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:29,720
OK.
291
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,800
Oh, my god.
292
00:18:37,801 --> 00:18:42,839
Mm-mm. No, you can't do
that. I cannot do this.
293
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,679
I'm married, I'm
married. I have a wife.
294
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,239
Everyone I fuck has a wife.
295
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,919
OK, well, this is not
morally right, is it?
296
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,799
Well, that just
seems morally wrong.
297
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,079
I need to do my job.
298
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:57,199
Wait, what? You're a prostitute?
299
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,719
You thought that I like you?
300
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,959
Yeah, I thought. Because
of what you said before.
301
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,439
I am the bait, like everyone
is dancing to Pablo's tune.
302
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,599
I'm going to fuck you now.
303
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,599
Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no, no.
304
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,719
I really respect what you do,
305
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,919
and your craft and your trade,
306
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,439
and it's up to you what you
do to everybody, but I...
307
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,399
Maybe we can just pretend.
308
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,239
And we have no sex? Ah,
si, si. Er, we pretend.
309
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:24,839
I pay you, and we say we had
sex, but you don't have sex.
310
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,439
This is easier for
me. Perfect. OK, then.
311
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,639
Oh, fucking hell. Not
that I wouldn't want to.
312
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,439
What's the damage,
anyway? I've never really,
313
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,199
it's hard to put a
price on such a...
314
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,399
But also, it's more of
an acting job, isn't it?
315
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,119
Oh. Heh, there you go,
I had the exact amount.
316
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:43,840
It was meant to be.
Shake on it? Lovely.
317
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,719
Phil... Phil, mate. Phil,
wait up. What are you doing?
318
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,719
Going home. You
can't go home, mate.
319
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,279
Neither of us can drive
a blooming plane, can we?
320
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,520
Phil, stop. Stop, mate.
321
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,359
What's going on, mate?
What's happening there?
322
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,039
Does anyone respect me, Mick?
323
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,759
This is the boof talking, mate.
324
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,679
You've taken too much boof,
325
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,879
and now you're acting
like a silly billy.
326
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,640
Yeah, but when I was
fake dead, like...
327
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,840
everyone just went
back to normal, like...
328
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,319
like I didn't exist.
329
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,799
I missed you every day,
every day you weren't here.
330
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,440
But it's not you. It's,
like, Tash and Albert...
331
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:28,000
Clive, the police,
Ronnie, and now Pablo.
332
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,559
It's like I'm invisible. This isn't
the way to deal with it, is it?
333
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,159
You've got to go back in there
334
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,399
and make a fair account
of yourself, son. Yeah.
335
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,159
You've got to go back
in there and say.
336
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,799
"I'm here to do a deal, mate."
You've got make a noise.
337
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,879
You've got to let them
know you're there,
338
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,760
even if it means he shoots
you in the face, mate. Yeah.
339
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,479
Wait, do you think he'll
shoot me in the face?
340
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:53,719
I would sooner take
341
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,359
the chances of both of us
being shot in the face,
342
00:20:57,360 --> 00:21:01,759
than being eaten alive by elephants
out here in this banana forest.
343
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,799
Do you know, I'm
the fucking Captain?
344
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:04,999
I'm sorry, who are you?
345
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,559
El Capitan. I love you, Phil,
mate. Love you too, mate.
346
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,399
Let's go fucking do a drug deal.
Let's go fuck Pablo Escobar.
347
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,519
I'm the fucking Captain,
that's what I am.
348
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,679
You are the Captain, mate.
Captain it up. Fucking El Capitan.
349
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,920
I'm scared here of the dark, Phil, Phil,
wait, mate. That's what I am. Sorry, mate.
350
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,839
Oh, OK definitely.
See you in a bit.
351
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,919
Oh, God. Oh, wow.
352
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:33,199
Absolutely Grade A top
shelf sex stuff right there.
353
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:37,120
Anyone got a cigarette?
No problem. Mm.
354
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:43,079
Oh, all the buttons are undone,
because of the sex we just had.
355
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,640
So, you enjoy yourself? Oh,
God, yeah. Are you not married?
356
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,399
Yeah, but you said
that didn't matter.
357
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,000
So, you're not a loyal man?
358
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:58,479
No, no, I'm loyal. But you
just fuck another woman.
359
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,800
Yeah, because. I'm
so confused. You...
360
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,159
OK, look. I'll tell
you the truth, OK?
361
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,879
Er, we went in there, and then
I came up with a plan and said,
362
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,559
"Let's not. Er, I'll pay
you to say we had sex,"
363
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,959
but we actually didn't have
sex. You didn't have sex? No.
364
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,839
So, you are a fucking liar.
365
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,559
Oh, my god. You
forced me into lying.
366
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,239
I don't know what you want me
to say. What's the right answer?
367
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,559
I test your loyalty. You fail.
368
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,719
OK, I'm really
sorry. Pablo Escobar.
369
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,319
Sorry, that was quite loud.
370
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,039
You all right, Albert,
mate? Everything OK?
371
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,599
Well, not really. They're having
a go at me, now he hates me.
372
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,719
You have all wasted my time.
373
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,360
I'm so sorry. I'm fucking
sorry, I didn't mean to.
374
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,000
We came here to do a deal.
375
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,039
We have 3,000 bars of gold,
376
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,359
each bar is worth ¤5,000.
377
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:53,799
Now, to my estimation,
378
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,239
a kilo of cocaine is
also worth ¤5,000.
379
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,639
So, we do a straight
swap, coke for gold.
380
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:04,719
That's a ¤15,000,000
business conversation.
381
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,240
Are you in, or are you out?
382
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,959
Amigo. Oh, you had
me. Phil Pocket, mate.
383
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,719
Phil Pocket, El Capitan.
Sit down, sit down. Yes.
384
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,680
Oh, my God. I'm... I'm
so sorry. Fuck off.
385
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,839
Great time, mate.
386
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,119
It's strange, when I think back.
387
00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:37,719
I never remember, at
that time, being worried.
388
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,319
I think I was happy,
389
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,079
happier than I'd
been for a long time.
390
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,439
Great to see you. You all right?
391
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,159
But things were unravelling.
392
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:48,120
Like our bad luck, the curse,
had been unleashed again somehow.
393
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:52,239
Like an evil genie
coming from a bottle.
394
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,319
But instead of three
wishes, he'd bring pain,
395
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,079
suffering, destruction.
396
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,800
His tentacles slowly
pulling down our dream.
397
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,719
When will it be
published? Monday.
398
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,680
Good, good, good.
399
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,960
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