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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:07,640 [engine revs] 2 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,280 [car engine revs] 3 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:14,720 Babe, look. 4 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,200 [car engine revs] 5 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:17,360 Oh, my God. 6 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,880 It's a 1988 twin-cam Corolla, that comes with six months' rego. 7 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,960 Excuse me, but me and my friend were arguing 8 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,520 over who gives better sex. 9 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,640 Would you mind doing us both and deciding who's better? 10 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,680 Hmm… Who wants to go first? 11 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,280 -Me! -No, me! 12 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,800 -No, me! -No, me! 13 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,280 -No, me! -Me! 14 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,360 [motorcycle engine running] 15 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,280 Move, you idiot! Move, move! 16 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,240 -[stutters] -Go inside. Go inside! 17 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,840 Maths, 25%. 18 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,200 -What is that? -What? 19 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,640 Why can't you congratulate me on the 25% I got, 20 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,360 instead of the 146% I didn't get? 21 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,080 English, 15%. 22 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,080 That's an improvement. Last year, I got 8%. 23 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,880 Boy, your final exam is this week. 24 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:27,840 So? 25 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,520 The final exam will determine the rest of your life! 26 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,080 Brah, the final exam is just a piece of paper. 27 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,560 The system wants you to believe it matters, but it doesn't mean shit. 28 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,240 You're being brainwashed, brah. 29 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:45,480 Boy, I pay $30,000 a year for your education. 30 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,760 That's not my problem. 31 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,880 I didn't ask to be put in a private school. You put me there. 32 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:52,600 [gasping] 33 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,200 Dad, are you okay? 34 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,480 [continues gasping] 35 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,120 Uh-oh. 36 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,720 Mum, Mum! 37 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,040 [theme music playing] 38 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,400 [groans] 39 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,560 [screaming] 40 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,120 Oh, God, he's dying! Ahhh! 41 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,880 [screaming] 42 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,080 What's wrong with him? 43 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,720 He's suffered a mild heart attack. 44 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,720 His blood pressure is dangerously high, and must be lowered immediately. 45 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,960 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 46 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,400 He'll have to stay in overnight for observation. 47 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,400 It is imperative he avoids any stressful situations. 48 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,160 Is there anything in his life that's causing stress? 49 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,240 I need 2 bucks for the vending machine. 50 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,680 [heart monitor beeping rapidly] 51 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,240 What? 52 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,200 I'm gonna lose him. I'll have no one. 53 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,160 I will become the slut of the family. 54 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,440 Honey, you have to pass the final exam. 55 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,480 Mum, I've failed every exam I've done. 56 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,360 What makes you think I'm gonna pass? 57 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,680 You have to. You're going to kill your dad. 58 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,560 What's that stupid car you're always looking at on the computer? 59 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:05,000 What, the 1988 twin-cam Corolla that comes with six months' rego? 60 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,320 Yes, yes, that one. You pass this exam and I'll get it for you. 61 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,480 Mum, the guy wants 4 grand for it. What are you talking about? 62 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,760 Dad said over his dead body he'll get it. 63 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,640 Wait, that might be soon. 64 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,920 Give me his number. I'll negotiate with him. 65 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,240 -Really? -Yes. 66 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,920 You pass, and it's yours. 67 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,280 Now go and study. 68 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,280 -Brah. -What? 69 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,280 My parents said they're gonna buy me the car if I pass the exam. 70 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,440 The 1988 twin-cam Corolla that comes with six months' rego? 71 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,160 Yes, I'm going to get tutors, books. I have to study. 72 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,080 I'm gonna spend 10 hours a day in the library. 73 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,840 -Have you lost your fucking mind? -What? 74 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,400 -I thought we had an agreement. -What agreement? 75 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,480 To always do as little as possible in school, no matter what. 76 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,640 There's always a better way than studying hard and doing well. 77 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:47,840 I know, I know. 78 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,160 Brah, once you start passing, you can't stop. 79 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:51,120 It's addictive. 80 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,960 You'll become a good student and then it's all downhill after that. 81 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,560 And then, I don't know if we can hang out, brah. 82 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,160 You're right. I'm sorry. 83 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,360 You know what Tony Robbins says when you really want something? 84 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,440 You got to go out, grab it and walk away. 85 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,440 Wait a minute. That's it. 86 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,480 We steal the exam paper! 87 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,120 See, now you're talking. 88 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,240 All we got to do is find someone who'll tell us where they hide the papers. 89 00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:18,519 Psst! 90 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,279 Oi, brah. 91 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,640 -What? -We need your help. 92 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,680 What do you want? 93 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,360 Naked photos of teachers? 94 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,000 -Yeah, all right. -Yeah? 95 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,680 Yeah, 10 bucks for a five-pack. 96 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,920 Ooh! 97 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,320 There you go. And thank you. 98 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,320 -Are you done? -Yeah. 99 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,240 Listen, where do they keep the exam papers? 100 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,160 I don't know. 101 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,080 -What do you mean you don't know? -Why would I know about exam papers? 102 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,680 'Cause you see everything, don't you? 103 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:50,440 If I knew anything about exams, I wouldn't be here cleaning shit, would I? 104 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,280 But if you want more photos, see me here tomorrow at recess. 105 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,280 We don't want the photos, you weirdo. 106 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:57,720 [school bell rings] 107 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,200 Man, who else can tell us where the paper is? 108 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,040 -[groans] -Oh, that's fucking disgusting. 109 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,840 Isn't that the chemistry teacher? 110 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,360 Yeah, brah. Fuck! 111 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,720 These private school teachers, man, honestly. 112 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,240 What the fuck? Who is that? 113 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,040 They ever work at this school? 114 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,880 I don't know, man. Who's that? 115 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,640 [Johnny] Oh, yuck! 116 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,600 Wait, wait, wait! 117 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,840 That's Mr. Johnson. 118 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,080 So? 119 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,280 Here's a mobile blood pressure monitor. 120 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,080 Keep this on you today so we can keep an eye on it. 121 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,440 -Does it have Bluetooth? -No. 122 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,360 -Okay, get me one with Bluetooth. -None have Bluetooth. 123 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,560 -They're all the same. -Every mobile has Bluetooth. 124 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,160 Why doesn't it have Bluetooth? 125 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,040 Do not interrupt the doctor. 126 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,120 -I'm not interrupting him. -Yes, you are. 127 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,320 Am I interrupting you? Did I interrupt you? 128 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,200 -No, guys, look. -You are interrupting him. 129 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,280 I don't want to hear your voice anymore. 130 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,800 I'm just trying to look after you. What did I do? 131 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,560 [wheezing] 132 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,120 -[heart monitor beeping rapidly] -I can't breathe! 133 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,320 Ahhh! Ahhh! Somebody get him breath! 134 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,880 I haven't seen the paper, so I can only tell you what it will cover. 135 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:02,880 Yes? 136 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,560 Will there be environment questions for the science component? 137 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,760 No. Any other questions? 138 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:09,920 Can we see the paper, sir? 139 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,480 Don't be a smart alec, mate. 140 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,120 My name's not Alec, mate. 141 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,120 [sighs] That's all for now. 142 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:17,920 Please get your textbooks out. 143 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:21,840 Sir, will the exam be testing anything about purple rabbits? 144 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,040 Sorry? 145 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:28,200 I said, will there will any questions about purple rabbits? 146 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,000 Well… From what I know, I don't think so. 147 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,400 Are you sure? 148 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,320 -Where did you get that? -You don't ask the questions, I do. 149 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,800 Okay, okay. It was the janitor, wasn't it? That bastard! 150 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,720 I will put this photo up on every single noticeboard by 10:00 a.m. today! 151 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:47,840 Shh! 152 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,360 Okay. What do you want? 153 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,760 I want the exam paper. I want it now! 154 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:53,840 Are you crazy? 155 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,760 I can't give you that. I haven't even seen it. 156 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,000 Not the one with the horse. 157 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,920 Oh, yeah, brah. We got the whole album, you freak. 158 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,920 -You better talk. -Okay, look. 159 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:11,040 The exam paper is kept in the heads of department room. 160 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,920 You only have a small window of opportunity to get in there. 161 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:18,200 -The side window or the courtyard window? -It's not a window! 162 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,400 It's the time frame you have to get in! 163 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,440 So it's the window without a frame? 164 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,240 I'm talking about a time frame. 165 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,000 Just as the lunch bell rings, 166 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,840 the heads of department all walk to the cafeteria 167 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,200 so they can access the best food before the students get there. 168 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:39,440 From the moment they leave, you have a four-minute window. 169 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:40,840 Thanks, sir. 170 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,200 Fuck, is it really that bad teaching private school kids? 171 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,320 Fucks youse up so bad you got to start rooting toy rabbits? 172 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,600 You're a weirdo, brah. 173 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,880 I got you some apple juice, honey. 174 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,200 Thank you. 175 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,200 I am sorry about before. 176 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:56,480 It's okay, baby. 177 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,840 Hi. We're medical students from the university across the road. 178 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,640 -Do you mind if we ask you some questions? -Yes, okay. 179 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,640 What's the reason for your stay in hospital? 180 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,240 Do you have a chronic illness? 181 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,120 No, I have a stupid son. 182 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,360 You're a doctor? 183 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,160 Yes, we're in our final year of completion. 184 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,680 Ah! What made you want to become doctor? 185 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,040 Well, once I passed the school final exam, 186 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,080 that's when I knew medicine was for me. 187 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,800 Yeah, same. The final exam is incredibly important. 188 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,200 It changed my life. 189 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,800 [straining] Changed your life. 190 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:25,720 [groans] 191 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,040 Wow. The school final exam. 192 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,000 We were just talking about how all our friends who failed, 193 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,600 a lot of them are getting injured working in sewage management. 194 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,240 We end up treating them now. 195 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,520 It's really quite sad because if you fail that exam, 196 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,320 it basically means the parents will have a lifetime of hardship. 197 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,200 -[gasping] -[heart monitor beeps rapidly] 198 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,960 [school bell rings] 199 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,560 Pizza time! 200 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,960 [students shouting] 201 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,360 [beeps] 202 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,360 [all shouting] 203 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,480 Holy Mother of God! 204 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,840 -I think I found it! -What does it say? 205 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,360 I can't read under pressure! 206 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,200 Yes! Yes! Oh, my God, this is it. 207 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,280 Okay. Okay. 208 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:43,280 We have to photocopy it and put it back in the exact same position we found it. 209 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:49,040 [students clamoring] 210 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,080 Okay, okay, we got it. 211 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:01,040 Give me the envelope and I'll put the exam back. 212 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,680 -[photocopier beeping] -[Superwog] Shit! 213 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:10,400 Oh, no, you must be trying to do color. That doesn't do color. 214 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,480 No, no, we're doing black and white. 215 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:16,040 Well, just let me see that you've put the document in correctly. 216 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,800 No, don't worry about it. Get out of here. 217 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,560 -No, I'll help you. -Fuck off! 218 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,160 Get the fuck away from it! 219 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,200 Hi, I'm Dr. Chan 220 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:45,320 and I'm a fully-qualified chronic stress hypnotherapist. 221 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:49,400 Your doctor has instructed me to look after you this afternoon. 222 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:50,600 Hello. 223 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,240 He tell me you a very angry man. 224 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,440 Please wait here for five minute and I will be with you shortly. 225 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,520 -Thank you. -Okay, baby. Come on. 226 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,000 It's okay, baby. You need to sit and relax. 227 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,120 You never relax. 228 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,440 Okay, thank you. 229 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,160 You are really looking after me. 230 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,360 Sorry about before. 231 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,960 It's okay, baby. Just relax. I'll take care of you. 232 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,200 Okay, I will relax now. 233 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,040 What do you want? I'll get you something. 234 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,360 I do not want anything. 235 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,560 Come on! The doctor said you have to relax. 236 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:17,640 Get me a tea. 237 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,000 -Okay. You want sugar or no sugar? -No sugar. 238 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,200 -Milk? -No milk. 239 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,760 Are you sure? You normally have milk. 240 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,360 I never have milk. No sugar, no milk. Thank you. 241 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,640 -I'll put one sugar. -But I'm not asking for sugar. 242 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,360 I know, but I can tell you want sugar. 243 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:32,000 I don't want fucking sugar or milk. I just want tea! 244 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,520 -Honey, relax. -I am relaxed! 245 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,880 -No, you're not. -I am fucking relaxed! 246 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,680 I am… [groaning] 247 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,960 [gulps] 248 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,000 [Mum shrieks] Somebody wake him up! 249 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,080 Wake him up! Help! 250 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,880 So I've had a look at the syllabus 251 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:50,160 and I think the English journeys component needs to be changed. [farts] 252 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,240 [woman] I definitely think considering the fact 253 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,560 that journeys has been running for six years, 254 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,640 it wouldn't be too much of stretch presenting that to the Board of Studies. 255 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,080 -[farts] -[woman] I'll get around 256 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,680 and see if we can organize some kind of petition. 257 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,240 [knock at door] 258 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,280 Yes? 259 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,160 Hi. I'm Mr. Barry. 260 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,760 I'm an occasional substitute teacher here. 261 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,440 I've got a meeting in 20 minutes with the headmaster. 262 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,120 Do you mind if I wait in here? 263 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,960 Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. 264 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,800 I might just make myself a tea. 265 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,280 [Superwog whispers] Johnny! Johnny! 266 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:26,560 [man 1] It's a huge problem. 267 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,000 [man 2] Yeah, I know. 268 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,360 What about Kevin? 269 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,080 Oh, Kevin! 270 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:38,240 [in mocking foreign accent] "I don't speak English. I get 99% on English exam!" 271 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,560 That's a bit harsh, mate. 272 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,880 Have you guys ever taught Theo? 273 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,200 Oh, yeah, what a case that guy is. 274 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,000 He's dumb as a rock. 275 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,960 -[all laughing] -[Johnny] Dumb as a rock? 276 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:53,520 Mate, he's easily got to be the dumbest fucking idiot 277 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,800 -this school has ever seen. -[all laughing] 278 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,040 You know what? I'd have to agree with him. 279 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,200 And, like, he's not just dumb. He's fucking ugly as well. 280 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,600 [all laugh] 281 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,280 Don't you ever look at Theo's head and just think, 282 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,800 "How did his parents not abandon him at birth?" 283 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,240 [all laugh] 284 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:12,880 And you know what, guys? 285 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,760 I think I might go and tell the headmaster I quit. 286 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,080 [man 2] No worries, mate. 287 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:21,000 I'll tell you who's worse than Theo, it's his dickhead mate, Johnny. 288 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,440 He's a real case that one. 289 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,560 Oh, is he the short, fat one? 290 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:25,640 -Yeah. -[chuckles] 291 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,560 He's not that fat. 292 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,640 Are you kidding? 293 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,080 He's the only kid I've ever known who smells permanently of custard buns. 294 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,840 Yeah, but those custard buns are pretty nice, aren't they? 295 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:38,520 Theo's bad but, I mean, Johnny, he's really the lowest of the low. 296 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,120 What? What did you say, you bald fuck? 297 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,920 Oh, shit. 298 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,760 Anger is bad. 299 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,920 Anger is bad. 300 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,480 Anger is for cavemen. 301 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:51,920 You're not caveman. 302 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,120 I am not caveman. 303 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,640 You're intelligent, calm human. 304 00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,040 I am intelligent, calm human. 305 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,320 Do not try to change the things you cannot control. 306 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,280 Do not try to… 307 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,040 Do not try to change things you cannot control! 308 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:11,920 Yes. 309 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,360 Let go. 310 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,360 [sighs in relief] 311 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,560 [chuckles] 312 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,120 Good, my friend. Good. Calm. 313 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,640 Calm. 314 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,240 Keep going. Repeat. 315 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,040 How did you do that? 316 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,320 1,000 milligram of Valium. 317 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,320 Enough for donkey. 318 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,160 I'm a doctor, not a fucking magician. 319 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,240 Here, put in his tea. 320 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,440 This man will never be angry again. 321 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,440 [cackles] 322 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,920 When I say, "Cease writing," everybody must stop writing immediately. 323 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:56,760 Go. 324 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,320 [whispering] Oi! 325 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:05,560 [on device] Oi! 326 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:08,840 [gasps in pain] 327 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,080 [louder] Oi! 328 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:13,600 [mouthing] 329 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,640 Yeah. 330 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,280 What the fuck are you doing? Give me the answers. 331 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,760 [loudly] I burnt my mouth! 332 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:24,880 Hurry up, you idiot. 333 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,280 I got suspended saving you, brah. You better remember that. 334 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,680 Okay. Okay. 335 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,240 Now, have you put your name on the exam paper yet 336 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,080 and your Board Of Studies number? 337 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,760 Oh, my God. Yes, you idiot. 338 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,800 'Cause, brah, if you don't put your name on right, the results won't go to you. 339 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,080 Question 1… 340 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:47,960 Yes? 341 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,480 A. 342 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,480 Are you there? 343 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:55,520 Yeah. 344 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,680 B. 345 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,000 I thought you said A. 346 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,400 I said B. B for 1. 347 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,560 You said A is 1. 348 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,360 No, I said, "Eh." As in,"Eh, how are you?" 349 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,440 I'm going to fucking murder you when I see you, you know that? 350 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,520 Where the fuck are you? 351 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:21,880 Johnny! 352 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:27,400 [grunts] 353 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,320 Are you there? 354 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:31,720 You fucking turd. 355 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,320 I've been sitting here for 45 minutes. There's only five minutes left. 356 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,880 Is everything all right here? 357 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,480 Yes, I'm just having trouble concentrating 358 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,640 'cause this guy fucking smells like pizza. 359 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,000 [quickly] 45, B. 46, A. 360 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,160 47, C. 48, B. 361 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,960 49, D. 50, A. 362 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,320 Yes! 363 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,520 [chuckles triumphantly] 364 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,920 [car horn honks] 365 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,000 I feel no anger. 366 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,839 [horn honks] 367 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,720 Fucking idiot. Get off the road! 368 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,480 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 369 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,280 You are my friend on this Earth. 370 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,920 I bless you. 371 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,120 Fuck off, you wanker. 372 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,760 [gasps] What are you doing? 373 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:53,680 You should have called me to come and get you. 374 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,760 No, no. I wanted to walk. 375 00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,000 I have never felt what it is like to be so relaxed. 376 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,560 Oh! They fixed you! They fixed you! 377 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,040 We have to celebrate. I'm going to make you your favorite. 378 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,600 No, no, please. It is okay. 379 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,480 I want you to make your favorite. 380 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,560 Oh, my God! I want to take what you're taking. 381 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,640 Hey, Dad, you're still alive. 382 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,000 Ah, my dearest son. 383 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,200 I am so happy to see you. 384 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,520 What happened to you, brah? You look like a vanilla éclair. 385 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,880 [mouthing] 386 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,520 Guess what, Dad, I got good news. 387 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,320 What is it, my son? 388 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,440 I not only passed the final exam, 389 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,400 but I topped the whole year. 390 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,120 100%. 391 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,600 100%! 392 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,040 My God, I cannot believe my eyes. 393 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,440 I told you this boy has my genes. 394 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,200 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 395 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:57,360 Positivity and encouragement is all you need to achieve in this life. 396 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,760 That's right, Dad. 397 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:03,240 You know, I know your mother promised to buy you the car. 398 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:10,080 But because I value hard work, I will buy you the twin-cam. 399 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:11,760 Come with me. 400 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,520 You're the best dad ever! 401 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,080 [phone rings] 402 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,280 Hello. 403 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,360 Is this Theo's father? 404 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,840 Yes. A very proud one. 405 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,880 This is Mr. Williams, school deputy. 406 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,800 You're going to have to come into the school. 407 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,520 Your son has been caught cheating in the final exam. 408 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,120 [straining] Okay. 409 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,960 What happened is, he has used private photos 410 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,760 to extort one of our teachers. 411 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,120 He's then trespassed on school property, abused a librarian 412 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,360 and then used a covert microphone device 413 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,480 to have the stolen answers relayed to him by his accomplice. 414 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,680 Can you come first thing tomorrow? 415 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,440 [heart beating rapidly] 416 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,520 [straining] Okay. No problem. 417 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:57,720 Thank you. 418 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,440 -[Dad thuds] -[Mum screams] 419 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,440 [Superwog] Does this mean I don't get the car? 420 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,520 [theme music playing] 421 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,440 You know Mr. Rogers, physics teacher? 422 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,880 -Yeah. -I got him… 423 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,000 Being sucked off by a dog. 424 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,280 -Yeah? -Yeah. 425 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:29,080 -What? -Not photoshopped. Real, man! 426 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,240 -[Superwog laughs] -You might think… 427 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,480 You might think you don't need it. 428 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,360 Eh, you want the exam papers? You buy photos off me. 429 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,040 I've got one word for you boys… 430 00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:39,960 [laughs] 431 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:40,920 [laughs] 432 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,360 [Mum screaming] You fucking cunt! 433 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,000 -[laughs] -[man] I'll give you that. 434 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,520 [doctor] He's suffered a mild heart attack. 435 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,720 His blood pressure is dangerously high. 436 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,440 -It must be lowered immediately. -[laughs] 437 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,040 Is there any problem you want to talk to me about? 438 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,040 No, Dad. 439 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,880 Still don't have girls for the formal tonight, you desperate cunts? 440 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,520 We already got girls, brah. Hotties as well. 441 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,720 Are you having a vagina problem? 442 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,560 Dad, I really don't want to talk about this. 443 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,160 It's okay, I help you. 444 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,480 Here. This make you non-stop. 445 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,080 Oh, yeah, yeah, give it to me. 446 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,560 You will have a beautiful woman. 447 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,360 They always throw themself to you. 32536

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