All language subtitles for The.Nanny.S04E16.720p.HMAX.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_track3_eng

Happy Valentine's Day, sir.

Did you decide what
to get for Ms. Fine?

Yes, nothing.

Oh, you can't get her the same
thing you got me.

I thought it could be
misconstrued if I got her
something too personal.

So I found this very funny card.

On the front it says,
"What rhymes with Cupid?"

Then you open it up
and inside there's a mirror

and it says
"Happy Valentine's Day,
stupid."

- Oh, Ms. Fine, it's you.
- No, it's not.

It's stupid.

Now, that's funny.

How could you?

It's Valentine's Day,
the most romantic holiday
of the entire year.

I thought if I got you
a sentimental card that said

you know, "I love you," you
might go and misinterpret it.

Moi?

Well, it has
been known to happen.

We wake up in bed together,
you misinterpret it.

We end up naked in the Jacuzzi,
you misinterpret it.

And then, just because I ask
you to marry me, you go--

Do shut up, you babbling
British moron.

Well, I hope you don't
misinterpret it

if one morning
you happen to wake up

and find a high heel
in your butt.

Oh, I wish I'd never said,
"I love you" in the first
place.

Oh. Oh, my-my whole nervous
system just shut down.

I can't see. I cannot see.

All right. Go on.
Go ahead, Niles. Fire away.

No, sir. It's not
my place to say anything.

But a picture paints
a thousand words.

♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing to the
Sheffield's door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll get it.

- Oh, hi, Ma.
- Fran, I'm so glad you're
home.

Yetta has lost her mind.

And?

She met a man
and wants to get married.

Why? Are you pregnant?

I don't think so.
But I'm really late.

Well, that makes her,
Martha Raye and Eva Braun
all married before me.

The guy is up to no good.

- He looks at her
and sees dollar signs.
- What, Ma?

He's making a deal
with the Colombians to move
her stash of digitalis?

She's got no money.

She gets $200 a month
from Social Security.

What do you think he's after?
Her flattuchas?

She's just jealous because so
many men are attracted to me.

Even my doctor says
I got charisma.

That's arrhythmia, Yetta.

Come on, we're gonna
go down to the bank

and make sure that the
joint account she and I have

says, "Both signatures
required."

Wait a second. Wait a second.

Maybe he's really
attracted to her.

Yeah.

All right. Come on,
Val will drive us.

What were you thinking of?
The man is a baby.

He's 60 years old.

60?

Yetta, he's not even back
in diapers yet.

You should be ashamed
of yourself.

Two of him together would be
closer to your age.

Not interested.

With two men, there's always

jealousy, performance anxiety.

What?

So now you know a little
something about nana.

Come on.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, look, a space
right in front of the bank.

Oh, wait a minute, Val.
This is handicapped parking.

It's okay. You're in therapy.
You're an emotional cripple.

No, no. Don't park
illegally.
It isn't nice.

Go over to that meter
over there. Here.

Put this bag on it.

No, I'm just gonna
wait in the car.

You don't need
to make a deposit?

Oh, I don't belong
to this bank.

- Oh, where do you
put your money?
- In a pig.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You coat your chicken
in peanut butter...

- Oh.
- ...and then you roll it

-in stale, crumbled
ginger snaps.
-Ohh!

And one, two, three,
you've got Hawaiian chicken.

- And daddy likes this?
- No.
He can't stand the sight of
it.

And one, two, three,
I'm eating lobster at the
Seafood Broiler.

Good one, Ma.

[CLEARS THROAT]
This is a hold-up.

What?

What's the hold up? Some
yenta's
picking out designer checks.

- [GUNSHOT]
- [PEOPLE SCREAM]

All right,
everyone on the floor.

No quick moves and no one
gets in small unmarked bills.

My God, Ma, I can't believe
we're in the middle
of a bank robbery.

Poor, Mr. Sheffield.

If I die, he is going to feel
so guilty about what he said.

You know, this could work.

Will you please shut up.

Shh.

He's not wearing a ring.

Ma, he's a thief.

Who's gonna be worth millions
in a matter of minutes.

[SIRENS APPROACHING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, Maxwell, look,
they're makingLost in Space
into a movie.

Oh, I loved that as a child.

Ooh, I'm dating myself.

Dating yourself?
That's pathetic.

Even you can do
better than you.

This from a man who parties
with PAM. As in a can of.

You know, the next time you
give your old clothes away,

why don't you
just stay in them?

All right. That's it.
I don't want you two
in the same room ever again.

BOTH: Why?

Because I can't stand it
anymore. That's why.

BOTH: What?

This! This!

Oh, my God,
something terrible happened.

I just heard it on the news.

What? What happened, Yetta?

Wait a minute. I lost it.

Don't worry, Yetta.
You told me in case you
forgot.

Who are you?

Grace, just tell me
what happened.

Fran and Sylvia are being held
hostage in a bank robbery.

[GROANS]

This is how you break bad
news to an old woman?

Oh, sir, this is horrible.
What shall we do?

Well, I have to go
down there and help.

Oh, of course.
The SWAT team and the FBI

desperately need the producer
ofJelly's Last Jam
on their side.

- Niles, start the car.
- Yes, sir.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, I can't believe
I'm gonna die here.

My whole life is passing
before my eyes.

Beautiful baby, most popular
girl in high school.

Maid.

I'm thinking how pissed I am
I didn't eat that second
blintz
this morning.

You're not thinking about Daddy?

Yeah, who do you think ate it?

I'm sorry, but if you two
can't please be quiet,

I'm gonna have to gag you.

Oh, please, would you.

You know, sir,

I don't mean to tell you how
to do a robbery or anything

but you really should have
bought some spray paint

for those security cameras.

That's why I wore the ski mask.

It's not pulled down, is it?

I brought the wrong hat,
didn't I?

I'm sorry, um,
I don't even know your name.

I'm Leslie Tilbert.

- Nobody heard that, did they?
- No, no.

He said Leslie Tilbert.

Your mother drove you to this,
didn't she?

Yes. I need the money to buy
her
a condo in Florida so I can get
her out of my life.

You know, I don't know
what this is worth

but I want you to take it
with my blessings.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Excuse me. Excuse us.

Would you let us through,
please. Excuse me.

Sorry. Oh, there you are.
What do you know so far?

Well, um, he's single.

Divorced.

Who the hell cares.

- She must be in shock.
- Oh, no, sir.

What you see is what you get.

I'm talking about Ms. Fine.
How is Ms. Fine and her mother?

Oh, well, so far it's quiet.

- Oh, my God, he's killed
her.
- Oh, no, sir.

Boy, I'm never
gonna get out of this.

I should have gone to med
school
like my brother.

But I hate the sight of blood.

Oh, you hate the sight of blood.

Excuse me.

I'm a hippoglycemic.

If I don't eat something
soon,
it may be fatal.

You're not gonna die.

She meant you.

- What should I do?
- I'd order take-out.

Right across the street
there's a Roy Rogers

a Kenny Rogers
and a Tony Roma's.

We call it the chazer strip.

No, I'd like something light
like fettuccine Alfredo.

You know,
deli's easier with a group.

Oh, you know, he's right.
But do we want dairy or meat?

Because I could go either way.

[EXCITED CHATTERING]

- Shut up!
- [GUNSHOT]

[PEOPLE SCREAM]

We'll do Deli.

What's going on in there?
Is everyone all right?

FRAN: We're okay.

That's one of the hostages
on the megaphone.

That's no megaphone.
That's my nanny.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Now, remember,
only three or four ice cubes.

A martini is not a smoothie.

Well, when do we dip the gym
sock in it for good luck?

- What?
- That's how Niles makes
yours.

- Hi, what's going on?
- Hi, Yetta.

I don't wanna upset your sister.

So don't say anything

about Fran and Sylvia being
held hostage in the bank.

Oh, my God, that's awful.
Are they okay?

Let's start over.

I don't wanna upset your
sister.
So...

Yetta, Yetta, Yetta.

Look, is Fran all right?

The police are there.
Don't worry.

Well, how can we not worry?

Try one of these smoothies.

Oy, gevalt.

Am I crazy or does
this prune Danish look
exactly like Moshe Dayan?

Both.

It's like the cinnamon bun
that looked like Mother
Teresa.

We're gonna be rich.

Mugs, T-shirts.

We'll go on David Susskind.

Yetta, your daughter and
granddaughter are being held
hostage in a bank.

What?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

No. Here's his list of demands.

He wants a limousine
to the airport

a private jet to Mexico.

Uh-huh.

Oh, and that Valentino dress
in Bergdorf's window.

Thank you.

What?

They don't gotta know
you're straight.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello.

It's Maxwell again.

Tell him I'm not here.

- Come on, just say hello.
- No.

She doesn't wanna talk to you.

Well, I think she's feeling
a
little hurt right now, Max.

Tell him we're just
sitting down to eat.

Okay. All right. I'll talk
to you later, buddy. Bye-bye.

Fran, I'm so glad you're
here.
I'm totally screwing up
this robbery.

I'm no good at anything.

What are you talking about?

You're doing a tremendous job.

Everybody is terrified of you.

Drop that pastrami.

You didn't wanna order.

You were too nervous to eat.
Now, you deal with it.

Go around back and see

if anybody from the SWAT team
can get a clear shot at him.

NILES: Excuse me. Excuse me.

- Here you are, sir.
- Oh, Niles, thank you so
much.

Niles, may I confess
something to you?

Well, I'm not a priest, sir,

but I'm this close
to living the life of one.

I said something
awful to Ms. Fine.

More awful than saying you were
sorry that you ever said

you loved her
in the first place?

I ought to rip that bloody
intercom out of the wall.

You promised you wouldn't
listen in again.

Oh, have a heart, sir.
I quit for two weeks but
I ballooned up to a 38 waist.

I mean, what if, God forbid,

anything should happen
to Ms. Fine in there?

I just couldn't
live with myself

knowing that those were the
last
words she ever heard from me.

Well, why don't you
send her a card?

I'm all wound up, sir.

-This is a tart tartan.
-Eh.

Chocolate decadence.

And a lovely
New York cheese cake.

What happened to
the blueberry crumble?

That went very fast.

Oh. Mm.

Gee, Fran,
I'm sad this has to end.

Oh, you and me both.

You know, believe it or not,
this isn't the worst date
I've ever had.

MAN: You in there,
we got you a limo.

-Oh.
-My ride's here. I gotta go.

Oh.

You wanna take a little
something for the road?

No, thanks, Sylvia. I'm full.

I'm talking about the money!

Oy! Is this aschmendrick?

You know, it's Friday.

You're gonna hit
all kinds of traffic.

Listen to me. You'll be smart.

Take the expressway to
the Flatbush circle exit.

Go around the circle
and hang a right.

I thought you make a right
half-way around?

No. That's the way you go
because you always stop at

that Mongolian barbecue
place.

- And that's where
you make the right.
- You're wrong, Ma.

You'll never find it.
We'll go with you.

Ma!

No, no, no. It's a great idea
because I could use some cover.

-Let's go. Come on.
-Oh!

-I'm going.
-Oh, oh. Oh!

And still not the worst date
I've ever had.

Ms. Fine! Ms. Fine,
are you all right?

Oh, Mr. Sheffield--
I'm not talking to you.

Ms. Fine, please, please,
you have to listen to me.

There is nothing more to say.

I just think that
it's really sad that
my abductor and I are closer

than you and I will ever be.

Ms. Fine,

I'm not sorry
I told you I love you.

- She said she doesn't
want to talk to you.
- Enough already.

Make your getaway and shut up.

Mr. Sheffield.

Oh, Ms. Fine.

Mr. Sheffield, I thought
I'd never see you again.

- Oh, thank God
you're all right.
- Oh! Oh!

Oh, Ms. Fine, I am so sorry
I gave you that stupid card.

Oh, and I'm sorry that I cut
up
your good silk tie

to make Gracie's Barbie
an evening gown.

- This could be
the trauma talking.
- VAL: Fran!

- Fran.
- Oh, Val! Val!

[BOTH SOBBING]

The bank robber
took your mother!

Oh, my God, that poor man!

Oh, look at this, they're
interviewing Ma on the news.

- Ooh!
- The pursuit ended abruptly

when the bank robber
made a wrong turn

and was apprehended in front
of the Mongolian barbecue.

Sylvia Fine, one of the
hostages, was with him.

Sylvia, can you
describe it for us.

Honestly, it's a little fatty.

I think they're under
new management.

Oh, I'll tell you,
if I hadn't given him that
shortcut to the airport

Ma would in Mexico by now.

- I'm gonna have to
let go of that.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, hi, Mr. Sheffield.
Wait a minute.

I have a Valentine's Day card
for you.

- Oh, Ms. Fine, thank you.
- Okay.

- Look, two puppy dogs
kissing.
- Uh-huh.

"For Valentine's Day,
I give you my heart...

worm."

Heart worm?

It's a parasite.

Dogs get it all the time.

It's a joke.

What?

Well, it is a little
impersonal,
don't you think?

Oh, what are you
getting so upset about?

We have known each other for
four years. I just feel...

Don't touch that intercom.

You have my word, sir.

Oh, Ms. Grace.

- Yes?
- Would you push
that button for me?

Thank you.

[FRAN AND MAXWELL ARGUING]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]