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1
00:00:19,863 --> 00:00:24,128
[waves crashing]
2
00:00:32,310 --> 00:00:35,096
[electric buzzing]
3
00:00:40,188 --> 00:00:43,539
[eerie singing]
4
00:00:53,288 --> 00:00:56,682
[somber piano melody]
5
00:01:20,184 --> 00:01:22,621
[Nevaeh] Okay. So
these are the rules.
6
00:01:22,752 --> 00:01:25,059
You have to get
from here to there
7
00:01:25,146 --> 00:01:27,975
without touching the
floor or the light.
8
00:01:28,105 --> 00:01:29,977
All right, Bearbear,
you can do this.
9
00:01:30,107 --> 00:01:32,240
Just have to go slow, okay?
10
00:01:34,111 --> 00:01:37,332
- [Chama panting]
- [indistinct whispering]
11
00:01:44,339 --> 00:01:46,341
You can do it, Bearbear.
You just have to jump.
12
00:01:47,255 --> 00:01:48,386
Okay, ready?
13
00:01:53,391 --> 00:01:55,785
[indistinct whispering]
14
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,744
[Chama panting]
15
00:02:05,186 --> 00:02:06,404
[whispering and panting fade]
16
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:15,065
[Chama] Sometimes I can
feel the sky as it rotates.
17
00:02:20,288 --> 00:02:22,768
It scatters my thoughts,
creating this...
18
00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:25,815
sound.
19
00:02:28,122 --> 00:02:29,210
And it'll grow louder.
20
00:02:31,299 --> 00:02:32,213
More aggressive.
21
00:02:34,998 --> 00:02:36,217
Like two people fighting.
22
00:02:39,437 --> 00:02:42,092
I look up and I know I
can keep my shit together.
23
00:02:44,616 --> 00:02:46,096
And then it rains.
24
00:02:47,228 --> 00:02:48,925
[thunder cracking]
25
00:02:49,056 --> 00:02:51,101
[rain pouring]
26
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,458
[Chama coughing]
27
00:03:08,379 --> 00:03:10,860
[engine revving]
28
00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:13,341
[engine sputtering]
29
00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:24,004
[muffled sound of raindrops]
30
00:03:34,623 --> 00:03:36,364
[raindrops tapping]
31
00:03:54,121 --> 00:03:55,687
It's gonna stop, baby girl.
32
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,690
If it doesn't, I'll be
the only kid in class
33
00:03:58,777 --> 00:04:00,040
with an indoor swimming pool.
34
00:04:01,519 --> 00:04:04,174
Ooh, quefancy.
35
00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:08,352
You don't need a
flood to stand out.
36
00:04:09,266 --> 00:04:11,181
You've got grease
all over your face.
37
00:04:13,705 --> 00:04:16,230
Oh, yeah. You, like,
totally got it now.
38
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,014
It looks all bad.
39
00:04:19,494 --> 00:04:20,886
[Chama chuckles]
40
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,068
[Chama] It will grow louder.
41
00:04:30,983 --> 00:04:32,376
The lights will turn off.
42
00:04:32,507 --> 00:04:34,204
[car honking]
43
00:04:34,335 --> 00:04:35,292
The roof will cave in.
44
00:04:35,423 --> 00:04:38,643
[indistinct whispering]
45
00:04:38,774 --> 00:04:40,123
Everything will fall apart.
46
00:04:40,254 --> 00:04:43,431
[Chama panting]
47
00:04:43,561 --> 00:04:44,910
And I wonder if you can hear me.
48
00:04:46,825 --> 00:04:49,132
[panting continues]
49
00:04:49,263 --> 00:04:51,526
[indistinct whispering]
50
00:04:55,617 --> 00:04:57,923
[birds chirping]
51
00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:06,106
[tense music playing]
52
00:05:06,236 --> 00:05:08,238
[woman panting]
53
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,114
Don't let go.
54
00:05:15,637 --> 00:05:16,594
Don't let go.
55
00:05:18,074 --> 00:05:19,119
Please.
56
00:05:19,249 --> 00:05:20,294
[mouthing]
57
00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:27,475
[indistinct rambling]
58
00:05:37,311 --> 00:05:38,790
Hold your hand.
59
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:41,576
No, don't let me. It's
my fault. I did it.
60
00:05:42,751 --> 00:05:44,405
Who's she talking to?
61
00:05:44,492 --> 00:05:47,625
[woman talking in distance]
62
00:05:47,756 --> 00:05:48,800
[Chama] Jesus.
63
00:05:49,192 --> 00:05:50,324
[Nevaeh] Is he listening?
64
00:05:51,455 --> 00:05:52,500
I don't know, baby girl.
65
00:05:53,805 --> 00:05:55,111
[Nevaeh] Is she crazy?
66
00:06:01,683 --> 00:06:02,901
I don't know, baby girl.
67
00:06:03,032 --> 00:06:04,096
[woman shouting]
You're on fire.
68
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,339
You set it on fire!
69
00:06:07,471 --> 00:06:10,692
I'm holding your fucking hand,
70
00:06:10,822 --> 00:06:13,608
fuck you, you fucking ugly
fucker, fucker, fucker...
71
00:06:13,695 --> 00:06:17,089
Hold your hand. I'm
holding your hand.
72
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,353
[Chama panting]
73
00:06:21,703 --> 00:06:23,661
[Chama sobbing]
74
00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:29,624
[panting continues]
75
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,106
[Matias] You got
lost, Chama, or what?
76
00:06:33,802 --> 00:06:35,020
Where you going?
77
00:06:36,935 --> 00:06:38,502
Don't be all nosy, Matias.
78
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,679
She has a job interview.
79
00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:43,638
Oh, where at?
80
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,335
You my PO now or something?
81
00:06:49,731 --> 00:06:52,081
[bus squeaking]
82
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,176
Look, it's, like, a good
job opportunity, okay?
83
00:07:00,698 --> 00:07:02,352
Gonna pay real good,
84
00:07:02,483 --> 00:07:03,883
then you won't be
seeing us no more.
85
00:07:07,618 --> 00:07:08,706
Who names their kid Chama?
86
00:07:11,361 --> 00:07:12,667
It's short for Elena.
87
00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:16,584
- No, it isn't.
- It is, if I say it is.
88
00:07:17,715 --> 00:07:19,755
Anybody ever tell you you
got spiders in your veins?
89
00:07:19,804 --> 00:07:21,444
Anyone ever tell you
to put on some shoes?
90
00:07:31,381 --> 00:07:33,035
Come on, baby, get your bag.
91
00:07:35,559 --> 00:07:36,430
[Matias] That you?
92
00:07:37,387 --> 00:07:38,519
Yeah, that's me.
93
00:07:38,997 --> 00:07:40,347
[Matias] Hey, good
luck out there.
94
00:07:45,308 --> 00:07:47,005
Let me see.
95
00:07:47,832 --> 00:07:49,767
You're gonna lose everything if
you don't close your backpack.
96
00:07:49,791 --> 00:07:51,575
Come on. Got
everything you need?
97
00:07:52,315 --> 00:07:54,361
Mm-hmm.
98
00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:55,773
I'm gonna be right here,
waiting for you after school.
99
00:07:55,797 --> 00:07:56,624
Really?
100
00:07:57,407 --> 00:07:58,887
Yes, really.
101
00:07:59,017 --> 00:08:00,212
Are you gonna give
me shit today, too?
102
00:08:00,236 --> 00:08:01,629
Come on.
103
00:08:01,759 --> 00:08:03,108
- I love you.
- I love you.
104
00:08:07,548 --> 00:08:08,636
Have fun.
105
00:08:08,766 --> 00:08:10,290
[school din]
106
00:08:19,777 --> 00:08:22,302
[kids' voices echoing]
107
00:08:23,955 --> 00:08:25,479
I remember being her age.
108
00:08:28,482 --> 00:08:29,762
That's when I
learned how to lie.
109
00:08:31,223 --> 00:08:32,964
I used to tell
teachers I was sick.
110
00:08:33,487 --> 00:08:34,767
That's why I was missing school.
111
00:08:36,838 --> 00:08:38,579
When I did go, I
tried to blend in.
112
00:08:39,406 --> 00:08:41,277
I brushed my hair,
113
00:08:41,408 --> 00:08:42,539
cleaned my nails...
114
00:08:43,932 --> 00:08:46,630
but inside I felt ants
crawling up my skin.
115
00:08:48,676 --> 00:08:50,939
I just wanted to grow up, so
everything would be better.
116
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:52,201
Give me a chance.
117
00:08:54,508 --> 00:08:55,639
I can do the work.
118
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:58,599
I can!
119
00:08:59,077 --> 00:09:00,557
[man] I'm sure you can.
120
00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:03,952
[Chama] Come on, quiz
me. I know this shit.
121
00:09:04,082 --> 00:09:05,402
When I was younger
I used to watch
122
00:09:05,475 --> 00:09:06,955
my abuelo tear cars apart.
123
00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:09,044
He taught me
literally everything.
124
00:09:09,784 --> 00:09:12,221
I got an '85 Buick
LeSabre I rebuilt.
125
00:09:13,004 --> 00:09:14,397
Runs perfectly...
126
00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:16,399
if it had a fuel pump.
127
00:09:17,052 --> 00:09:18,749
But I can't get a new fuel pump
128
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,760
if I don't got a job and
if I don't got a job...
129
00:09:21,752 --> 00:09:23,145
Look.
130
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,080
I'm just trying to get
back on my feet, okay?
131
00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:32,328
I have a daughter.
132
00:09:36,114 --> 00:09:38,465
Look, the economy's
kicking my ass.
133
00:09:38,595 --> 00:09:40,031
I'm just not hiring right now.
134
00:09:40,118 --> 00:09:43,252
[melancholy music playing]
135
00:09:54,002 --> 00:09:56,700
[bus humming]
136
00:10:12,977 --> 00:10:15,110
[rock music playing]
137
00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:20,376
[dog barks]
138
00:10:22,857 --> 00:10:25,468
[cicadas buzzing]
139
00:10:25,599 --> 00:10:27,557
[muffled rock music playing]
140
00:10:58,632 --> 00:10:59,763
[door creaks]
141
00:11:03,158 --> 00:11:05,813
[music gets louder]
142
00:11:11,775 --> 00:11:14,604
[indistinct singing]
143
00:11:30,925 --> 00:11:33,318
Abueloused to say that if
you find a black feather...
144
00:11:36,844 --> 00:11:37,932
it's a warning.
145
00:11:38,410 --> 00:11:40,978
[rock music intensifies]
146
00:12:01,695 --> 00:12:03,044
[lighter clicks]
147
00:12:03,174 --> 00:12:06,700
[muffled talking]
148
00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:26,067
[lips smacking]
149
00:12:26,197 --> 00:12:29,026
[melancholy piano music playing]
150
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:34,091
♪
151
00:14:07,777 --> 00:14:10,954
[soft vocalization]
152
00:14:40,984 --> 00:14:44,161
[rhythmic beeping]
153
00:14:58,132 --> 00:15:00,787
[crickets chirping]
154
00:15:18,805 --> 00:15:21,024
[vehicle humming]
155
00:15:26,595 --> 00:15:31,731
♪
156
00:15:34,995 --> 00:15:37,693
[siren wailing in the distance]
157
00:15:57,104 --> 00:15:58,540
We made dinner.
158
00:15:58,670 --> 00:15:59,950
There's some left in the fridge.
159
00:16:00,934 --> 00:16:02,239
She's sleeping, Elena.
160
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,763
She's my daughter.
161
00:16:04,415 --> 00:16:05,721
I know she's sleeping, okay?
162
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,419
Don't look at me like that.
163
00:16:09,203 --> 00:16:11,553
- You're in my home.
- That the state pays for.
164
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,212
I was robbed, okay?
165
00:16:18,865 --> 00:16:19,985
Don't pretend like you care.
166
00:16:21,345 --> 00:16:23,043
Because if you gave two shits,
167
00:16:23,173 --> 00:16:24,827
you'd drive around
and look for them.
168
00:16:24,958 --> 00:16:27,221
Oh, I would drive around
and look for your shoes?
169
00:16:27,308 --> 00:16:29,155
Why would you ever want to
look for the imaginary person
170
00:16:29,179 --> 00:16:30,398
who stole your shoes, Elena?
171
00:16:30,528 --> 00:16:32,008
[Chama] That's not my name.
172
00:16:32,139 --> 00:16:33,419
Stop talking to me like a child.
173
00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:35,379
[Mari] You know,
Friday's her birthday.
174
00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:36,883
I fucking know
Friday's her birthday.
175
00:16:37,013 --> 00:16:38,406
[Mari] If you
weren't my sister...
176
00:16:38,493 --> 00:16:40,974
[Chama] So, what? You'd
go? So fucking go!
177
00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:42,671
You are just like Mom.
178
00:16:44,194 --> 00:16:45,456
One of these times...
179
00:16:45,979 --> 00:16:47,099
they're gonna take her away.
180
00:16:51,027 --> 00:16:52,507
Get the fuck out of my house.
181
00:16:53,421 --> 00:16:54,639
Get the fuck out!
182
00:16:58,339 --> 00:17:00,297
[objects clattering]
183
00:17:17,575 --> 00:17:18,794
[annoyed sigh]
184
00:17:34,027 --> 00:17:35,637
[plastic wrapper crinkling]
185
00:17:45,777 --> 00:17:49,869
[Brahms' Lullaby playing]
186
00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:08,844
[lullaby stops]
187
00:18:10,237 --> 00:18:12,761
[peaceful music playing]
188
00:18:35,958 --> 00:18:37,742
[coins rattling]
189
00:19:01,592 --> 00:19:03,943
[nature din]
190
00:19:07,468 --> 00:19:09,348
[Toaster] You know, I
used to have this dream...
191
00:19:09,992 --> 00:19:11,211
that I got, like, no face...
192
00:19:12,255 --> 00:19:14,605
and I'm just a shadow,
193
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:15,955
floating over the desert.
194
00:19:18,348 --> 00:19:21,090
And I got, like,
this bag of hammers
195
00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:23,310
and I'm just, like,
chucking them at cows.
196
00:19:24,006 --> 00:19:25,486
What do you think that means?
197
00:19:26,095 --> 00:19:27,662
[Chama] That you
need serious help.
198
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,838
Toaster always showed
up when I needed her.
199
00:19:30,273 --> 00:19:32,406
[upbeat music playing]
200
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,587
You can't just, like, open it.
201
00:19:39,717 --> 00:19:42,155
- Why not?
- You broke it.
202
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,200
Last year, Nevaeh loved red.
203
00:19:45,201 --> 00:19:48,161
I think this year, she
likes the color purple.
204
00:19:49,727 --> 00:19:51,991
Like that Oprah
movie about racism?
205
00:19:54,428 --> 00:19:56,256
Balloons.
206
00:19:56,386 --> 00:19:59,172
[plastic wrappers crinkling]
207
00:20:06,744 --> 00:20:08,268
You never, like,
look up your dreams
208
00:20:08,398 --> 00:20:09,518
and find out what they mean?
209
00:20:11,271 --> 00:20:12,185
I don't dream.
210
00:20:13,447 --> 00:20:15,362
Every bitch dreams.
211
00:20:15,492 --> 00:20:17,320
Come on, you probably
just don't remember it.
212
00:20:17,451 --> 00:20:18,582
[Chama] Mm-mm.
213
00:20:19,366 --> 00:20:20,846
- [lighter clicking]
- [Toaster gasps]
214
00:20:21,716 --> 00:20:23,836
Maybe that's what I'll study
when I go back to school.
215
00:20:26,199 --> 00:20:27,330
Why Chama don't dream?
216
00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:32,422
- Stupid. Siempre.
- [Chama laughs]
217
00:20:32,553 --> 00:20:34,903
- No.
- [both laugh]
218
00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:37,384
No, for serious.
219
00:20:39,212 --> 00:20:41,562
I'm going back.
220
00:20:41,692 --> 00:20:44,086
[Chama] Toaster is one of
those bitches from the Heights.
221
00:20:44,217 --> 00:20:46,132
She actually knew her father.
222
00:20:46,219 --> 00:20:48,177
He'd buy her things.
223
00:20:48,308 --> 00:20:50,571
She never worried about nothing.
224
00:20:50,701 --> 00:20:53,052
Toaster was all cool.
225
00:20:53,182 --> 00:20:54,531
And I wanted to be her.
226
00:20:56,403 --> 00:20:57,404
She was a dreamer.
227
00:20:58,231 --> 00:20:59,188
I'm going back.
228
00:21:01,538 --> 00:21:02,757
My dad's gonna pay.
229
00:21:04,715 --> 00:21:06,500
It's gonna be like it
used to be, you know?
230
00:21:07,805 --> 00:21:09,068
He's gonna be proud of me.
231
00:21:11,809 --> 00:21:13,409
I don't know, maybe
I'll be just, like...
232
00:21:14,508 --> 00:21:16,205
some counselor, you know?
233
00:21:18,381 --> 00:21:20,557
Like, help all
these bitches out.
234
00:21:23,604 --> 00:21:24,866
I could tell 'em what's up.
235
00:21:28,304 --> 00:21:30,480
[Chama] Toaster always
showed up when I needed her.
236
00:21:30,611 --> 00:21:33,092
She'd help me fix everything.
237
00:21:33,222 --> 00:21:35,224
[pensive music playing]
238
00:21:38,314 --> 00:21:39,881
[Chama] I can make
my daughter happy.
239
00:21:44,799 --> 00:21:46,583
I can keep my shit together.
240
00:21:54,504 --> 00:21:56,245
I can make my daughter happy.
241
00:21:56,376 --> 00:21:58,117
I can make my daughter happy.
242
00:22:06,864 --> 00:22:10,477
I can make my daughter happy.
243
00:22:10,607 --> 00:22:13,393
I can make my daughter happy.
I can make my daughter happy.
244
00:22:13,523 --> 00:22:15,743
I can make my daughter happy.
245
00:22:15,873 --> 00:22:17,808
I can keep my shit together.
I can make my daughter happy.
246
00:22:17,832 --> 00:22:19,138
I can make my daughter happy.
247
00:22:20,878 --> 00:22:22,445
I can keep my shit together.
248
00:22:23,881 --> 00:22:25,579
I can make my daughter happy.
249
00:22:28,712 --> 00:22:30,453
I can keep my shit together.
250
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,720
[upbeat mariachi music playing]
251
00:22:36,851 --> 00:22:38,592
[indistinct chattering]
252
00:22:56,827 --> 00:22:58,525
[playful screaming]
253
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:11,190
[kids chattering]
254
00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:17,370
[music continues in background]
255
00:23:30,731 --> 00:23:33,212
[muffled chattering]
256
00:23:49,315 --> 00:23:50,490
Hey, baby girl, what's wrong?
257
00:23:51,578 --> 00:23:52,579
I don't know.
258
00:23:53,623 --> 00:23:54,842
Hey.
259
00:23:54,972 --> 00:23:56,365
Don't let bullshit push you.
260
00:24:04,504 --> 00:24:06,114
Sometimes I just
want to hide, too.
261
00:24:08,551 --> 00:24:09,596
Just, like, run away.
262
00:24:13,382 --> 00:24:15,079
But everybody's already here,
263
00:24:15,210 --> 00:24:17,256
so you might as well just
take all their presents.
264
00:24:27,788 --> 00:24:29,616
You were born two months
early, you know why?
265
00:24:30,704 --> 00:24:32,009
[Nevaeh] Hmm?
266
00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,099
Because you were so
excited to meet your mama.
267
00:24:36,753 --> 00:24:38,277
And I was to meet you.
268
00:24:40,801 --> 00:24:42,150
There she is.
269
00:24:46,981 --> 00:24:48,635
You're my baby girl,
you're all I got.
270
00:24:50,767 --> 00:24:51,768
[Nevaeh] You're all I got.
271
00:24:56,425 --> 00:24:57,731
I hope that's not true.
272
00:25:00,690 --> 00:25:02,649
Go on. Have fun,
it's your birthday.
273
00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:10,526
[music getting louder]
274
00:25:10,657 --> 00:25:12,528
[people chattering]
275
00:25:12,702 --> 00:25:17,620
♪
276
00:25:40,991 --> 00:25:43,516
[children screaming]
277
00:25:43,646 --> 00:25:45,866
[sounds distort and echo]
278
00:25:45,996 --> 00:25:48,216
[indistinct whispering]
279
00:25:51,611 --> 00:25:52,829
[Chama] I can keep my shit.
280
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,918
[Chama gasping]
281
00:25:55,005 --> 00:25:56,485
[child crying]
282
00:25:56,616 --> 00:25:57,834
[Mari] Elena?
283
00:25:57,965 --> 00:26:01,142
[Chama panting]
284
00:26:06,408 --> 00:26:07,496
[girl screaming]
285
00:26:07,627 --> 00:26:10,238
[mariachi music resumes]
286
00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:28,648
[knocking on door]
287
00:26:28,778 --> 00:26:29,978
[Mari] Elena,
are you in there?
288
00:26:38,745 --> 00:26:40,703
[phone ringing]
289
00:26:43,619 --> 00:26:45,491
[Mari] Come on. Open up.
290
00:26:45,578 --> 00:26:46,978
- [knocking on door]
- [Mari] Elena.
291
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:49,107
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
292
00:26:50,583 --> 00:26:52,672
You did all right... good, okay?
293
00:26:53,977 --> 00:26:55,414
Not out here to talk shit.
294
00:26:59,026 --> 00:27:00,419
Hey.
295
00:27:00,549 --> 00:27:01,420
[knocking on door]
296
00:27:02,899 --> 00:27:04,248
Let's just go out and sing.
297
00:27:18,872 --> 00:27:19,873
Look, you know what?
298
00:27:22,005 --> 00:27:23,311
You don't get to do this.
299
00:27:24,878 --> 00:27:26,445
Not today, this isn't about you.
300
00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:33,930
You think you're so special
301
00:27:34,061 --> 00:27:35,821
and that nobody else
matters, but guess what?
302
00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:38,761
They do.
303
00:27:38,892 --> 00:27:39,762
[keys jangling]
304
00:27:42,896 --> 00:27:45,551
[tense music playing]
305
00:28:03,525 --> 00:28:04,657
[Mari] Somebody help me!
306
00:28:06,746 --> 00:28:08,356
Somebody help!
307
00:28:11,533 --> 00:28:12,578
Now!
308
00:28:24,111 --> 00:28:26,809
[music fades]
309
00:28:26,940 --> 00:28:28,580
[Shorty] I know what
you all are thinking.
310
00:28:28,985 --> 00:28:30,552
Shit gets all fucked.
311
00:28:31,074 --> 00:28:32,467
But that's just the way it goes.
312
00:28:33,860 --> 00:28:36,384
I had this one bitch
try to tell me,
313
00:28:36,515 --> 00:28:39,474
"If you just got a real job,
everything would be all right."
314
00:28:40,170 --> 00:28:42,564
Bitch! I have a felony.
315
00:28:42,695 --> 00:28:44,653
Who's gonna hire me?
Who's gonna teach me?
316
00:28:45,611 --> 00:28:47,569
All I know is selling
dope, hustling.
317
00:28:48,178 --> 00:28:50,050
That's all anyone was
willing to show me.
318
00:28:51,138 --> 00:28:54,750
So, with four little
brothers at home, yeah,
319
00:28:54,881 --> 00:28:57,884
I was gonna hustle to
buy them food and, yeah,
320
00:28:58,014 --> 00:28:59,974
I was gonna smoke to forget
everything I had done.
321
00:29:00,974 --> 00:29:01,888
And yeah.
322
00:29:03,019 --> 00:29:04,717
Shit's gonna get fucked.
323
00:29:11,593 --> 00:29:14,640
[hospital gurney rattling]
324
00:29:22,996 --> 00:29:25,694
[somber music playing]
325
00:29:27,914 --> 00:29:29,350
[Chama] I was once
a little girl.
326
00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:33,572
Trying to keep my sister safe.
327
00:29:37,227 --> 00:29:38,794
I thought it would all work out.
328
00:29:39,534 --> 00:29:42,189
- [gasping]
- [Beatriz speaks indistinctly]
329
00:29:42,319 --> 00:29:43,712
[Chama] I used to
run toAbuelo's.
330
00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:47,760
He showed me how to fix things.
331
00:29:52,242 --> 00:29:53,548
You showed me how to break them.
332
00:29:53,679 --> 00:29:55,289
[gravel crackling]
333
00:29:59,162 --> 00:30:00,602
[Beatriz] You fucking
took them, huh?
334
00:30:00,686 --> 00:30:01,730
Let's go.
335
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,134
[Chama] You drove around
with bottles on the floor.
336
00:30:14,264 --> 00:30:16,005
Your music turned up.
337
00:30:16,136 --> 00:30:17,833
You'd smoke a full pack,
338
00:30:17,964 --> 00:30:20,314
but you still
smelled like roses.
339
00:30:21,794 --> 00:30:24,361
- [car honking]
- [girl screaming]
340
00:30:24,492 --> 00:30:26,732
[Chama] We cried as you pulled
the glass out of our skin.
341
00:30:28,627 --> 00:30:30,629
[Beatriz panting]
342
00:30:31,673 --> 00:30:33,109
[young Mari crying]
343
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:34,217
[Chama] I am my
mother's daughter.
344
00:30:34,241 --> 00:30:35,590
[man] Elena.
345
00:30:44,904 --> 00:30:46,664
[doctor] Can you tell
me what you were doing?
346
00:30:50,039 --> 00:30:51,475
You're lucky to be alive.
347
00:30:54,174 --> 00:30:56,094
If it hadn't been for the
Narcan you'd be dead...
348
00:30:58,004 --> 00:30:59,832
you probably wouldn't
be here right now.
349
00:31:04,358 --> 00:31:05,751
How much do you normally use?
350
00:31:09,493 --> 00:31:11,539
Was it an accident or
was it intentional?
351
00:31:15,021 --> 00:31:17,110
[Chama groaning softly]
352
00:31:31,037 --> 00:31:32,778
It's a selfish act,
353
00:31:32,908 --> 00:31:34,188
especially when you're pregnant.
354
00:31:34,910 --> 00:31:37,696
[tense music playing]
355
00:31:51,927 --> 00:31:52,841
You didn't know?
356
00:31:53,015 --> 00:31:57,890
♪
357
00:32:09,945 --> 00:32:12,034
[siren wailing in distance]
358
00:32:15,429 --> 00:32:17,736
[upbeat Spanish song on radio]
359
00:32:26,092 --> 00:32:28,224
[cicadas buzzing]
360
00:32:30,749 --> 00:32:32,228
[Chama] I was 21.
361
00:32:33,882 --> 00:32:35,579
I'd work on cars, because...
362
00:32:36,798 --> 00:32:37,843
what else am I gonna do?
363
00:32:37,930 --> 00:32:40,759
[music continues]
364
00:32:51,117 --> 00:32:53,077
[Chama] It was also the
last time I used a needle.
365
00:32:54,555 --> 00:32:55,730
Nobody knew.
366
00:32:56,862 --> 00:32:57,776
I was quiet.
367
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,214
But I always seemed in control.
368
00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,927
[Santi] You're
doing it all wrong.
369
00:33:06,523 --> 00:33:08,483
You should be cranking it
the other way, you know?
370
00:33:10,136 --> 00:33:11,833
I'm tightening the tensioner.
371
00:33:12,399 --> 00:33:14,749
Going clockwise, so
the nut can do its job.
372
00:33:17,796 --> 00:33:18,753
That's what's up.
373
00:33:22,278 --> 00:33:23,149
You know, I see you.
374
00:33:26,239 --> 00:33:27,806
You was down at
Chopay's the other day.
375
00:33:28,763 --> 00:33:30,112
Looking all cool and shit.
376
00:33:33,594 --> 00:33:36,684
I see you and I want
to holler at you, mija.
377
00:33:38,947 --> 00:33:39,818
Why?
378
00:33:42,211 --> 00:33:43,851
Because you look like
you need someone to.
379
00:33:49,001 --> 00:33:50,002
So what it is?
380
00:33:51,525 --> 00:33:52,831
Can I help you start it or what?
381
00:33:57,531 --> 00:33:59,315
[romantic guitar music playing]
382
00:33:59,446 --> 00:34:01,187
[both breathing heavily]
383
00:34:08,585 --> 00:34:11,023
[Chama] Santi was all bad.
384
00:34:11,153 --> 00:34:12,676
Smelled like
hairspray and sweat.
385
00:34:15,549 --> 00:34:16,942
Reminded me ofAbuelo.
386
00:34:19,161 --> 00:34:20,281
Know how many times he lost?
387
00:34:22,295 --> 00:34:23,600
Five.
388
00:34:23,731 --> 00:34:25,341
[Chama] He worshiped boxing
389
00:34:25,428 --> 00:34:27,213
and the boxers
who wouldn't quit.
390
00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:29,060
Know how many times he's
got back up and won?
391
00:34:29,128 --> 00:34:30,520
59, baby!
392
00:34:31,608 --> 00:34:33,586
He just sticks out his
tongue and he knows no matter
393
00:34:33,610 --> 00:34:35,351
where he grow up, no
matter how he grow up,
394
00:34:35,438 --> 00:34:36,958
what he could do,
you know what I mean?
395
00:34:38,398 --> 00:34:40,269
He says,
396
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,271
"Hey, pass me the ball,
pass me the bills.
397
00:34:42,402 --> 00:34:43,322
[speaking indistinctly]
398
00:34:43,446 --> 00:34:45,318
Albuquerque.
399
00:34:45,405 --> 00:34:48,016
Up to you, champ. Albuquerque.
400
00:34:48,147 --> 00:34:50,062
I'm still the champ.
401
00:34:50,192 --> 00:34:52,064
Hey, Grandma, Grandpa,
I'm still your champ!"
402
00:34:54,196 --> 00:34:55,589
[Chama] I'd tattoo
him on my body.
403
00:34:57,547 --> 00:34:59,147
And he promised to
never let me get sick.
404
00:35:01,247 --> 00:35:04,076
We'd get a house together.
405
00:35:04,206 --> 00:35:07,993
I'd get pregnant. Stop using.
406
00:35:08,123 --> 00:35:11,344
I'd worship him, because
he gave me Nevaeh.
407
00:35:11,474 --> 00:35:15,130
She'd be born at
home, just like I was.
408
00:35:15,261 --> 00:35:17,611
He'd play the guitar
for our daughter.
409
00:35:17,741 --> 00:35:19,701
He wasn't very good, but
I didn't know any better.
410
00:35:21,702 --> 00:35:22,877
Then he was gone.
411
00:35:24,226 --> 00:35:25,227
I was alone.
412
00:35:26,576 --> 00:35:27,882
And seven years later...
413
00:35:28,230 --> 00:35:30,189
[music playing on radio]
414
00:35:30,319 --> 00:35:31,712
[radio crashing]
415
00:35:33,540 --> 00:35:36,282
[crickets chirping]
416
00:35:47,423 --> 00:35:48,729
[man] I need you
to nod your head
417
00:35:48,816 --> 00:35:50,216
that you understand
what's going on.
418
00:35:52,254 --> 00:35:53,334
It's in your best interest.
419
00:35:58,304 --> 00:36:00,567
An investigator from
CPS is gonna sit down
420
00:36:00,697 --> 00:36:02,057
- with your daughter.
- [Chama] No.
421
00:36:03,178 --> 00:36:04,353
You're going to scare her.
422
00:36:04,919 --> 00:36:06,312
[man] She's already scared.
423
00:36:13,362 --> 00:36:14,602
We've got a house full of love,
424
00:36:14,668 --> 00:36:16,539
you don't even know.
425
00:36:16,670 --> 00:36:18,126
[man] Do you have a contact
number for her father?
426
00:36:18,150 --> 00:36:19,430
What do you think he's gonna do?
427
00:36:19,978 --> 00:36:21,805
You just want to
take away my baby.
428
00:36:21,936 --> 00:36:23,982
[man] Our intention is
never to remove a child
429
00:36:24,112 --> 00:36:25,287
from their home.
430
00:36:26,114 --> 00:36:27,942
Unless we feel the
child is in danger.
431
00:36:29,248 --> 00:36:30,597
Do I look dangerous?
432
00:36:30,727 --> 00:36:32,294
[indistinct chatter]
433
00:36:32,381 --> 00:36:34,122
[man] The situation
at the party...
434
00:36:34,253 --> 00:36:35,893
- Was an accident!
- [bangs hand on table]
435
00:36:39,606 --> 00:36:42,174
It was... it was...
436
00:36:44,132 --> 00:36:46,308
[muffled crying]
437
00:36:47,788 --> 00:36:49,137
It was an accident.
438
00:36:50,573 --> 00:36:52,140
It's never gonna happen again.
439
00:36:56,579 --> 00:36:57,774
[man] Do you understand
why we're here?
440
00:36:57,798 --> 00:36:59,191
[Chama stomping on floor]
441
00:37:08,765 --> 00:37:10,898
[Chama] Hey, baby girl. Hey.
442
00:37:13,292 --> 00:37:15,729
[Chama sniffling]
443
00:37:24,607 --> 00:37:25,826
It's okay.
444
00:37:26,522 --> 00:37:27,480
Here.
445
00:37:29,656 --> 00:37:30,918
Hey, Bearbear.
446
00:37:36,750 --> 00:37:39,405
I'm sorry. I messed up.
447
00:37:40,319 --> 00:37:42,190
Everything's gonna
go back to normal.
448
00:37:42,321 --> 00:37:44,192
[pen scratching on paper]
449
00:37:44,323 --> 00:37:46,064
Will you stop writing
down everything I say?
450
00:37:50,111 --> 00:37:52,896
[pen scratching continues]
451
00:37:59,642 --> 00:38:00,904
Come here.
452
00:38:16,268 --> 00:38:18,226
- I love you.
- I love you.
453
00:38:23,231 --> 00:38:25,973
[droning music playing]
454
00:38:34,199 --> 00:38:37,158
[Chama screaming]
455
00:38:37,637 --> 00:38:39,247
[church bell ringing]
456
00:38:43,425 --> 00:38:44,426
Fuck them, no?
457
00:38:49,257 --> 00:38:51,129
Fuck them for judging us.
458
00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:54,132
You're a good mother.
459
00:38:54,871 --> 00:38:56,003
I just wanna cry.
460
00:38:57,570 --> 00:38:59,224
But nothing's coming out.
461
00:39:00,050 --> 00:39:01,250
[Toaster] They
don't know shit.
462
00:39:05,186 --> 00:39:06,405
What's wrong with me, Toaster?
463
00:39:10,539 --> 00:39:12,324
[chuckling]
464
00:39:12,454 --> 00:39:13,934
What are you doing, Chama?
465
00:39:14,848 --> 00:39:17,024
You think you got,
like, a choice, really?
466
00:39:18,721 --> 00:39:21,333
A la maquina, dummy. Not even.
467
00:39:23,335 --> 00:39:24,615
Okay, when we was, like, born...
468
00:39:25,685 --> 00:39:28,688
let's say God, yeah, God.
469
00:39:29,123 --> 00:39:30,429
You know, God was like...
470
00:39:33,345 --> 00:39:35,999
"I'm gonna make this
child super smart.
471
00:39:36,130 --> 00:39:37,697
And then this one?
472
00:39:37,784 --> 00:39:39,438
This one is gonna
be dumb as crackers.
473
00:39:39,568 --> 00:39:41,657
And then this one?
Oh, you know what?
474
00:39:41,788 --> 00:39:44,399
That one is gonna get a
fucking mental illness,
475
00:39:44,486 --> 00:39:47,141
hell yeah, because that'll
be fucking fun, no?
476
00:39:47,272 --> 00:39:48,795
And this one.
477
00:39:48,925 --> 00:39:52,799
This one's gonna
have ADHD, hell yeah!
478
00:39:52,929 --> 00:39:54,627
And this one, just
for shits and giggles,
479
00:39:54,714 --> 00:39:56,846
let's give it leukemia, right?
480
00:39:56,977 --> 00:39:59,632
Because, you know, life
needs more hurdles.
481
00:40:00,328 --> 00:40:02,635
And this one? Yeah, this one.
482
00:40:02,765 --> 00:40:04,898
This one gets an
addictive personality.
483
00:40:06,204 --> 00:40:07,084
And that one doesn't."
484
00:40:10,773 --> 00:40:12,035
This is us.
485
00:40:15,517 --> 00:40:18,303
We gotta fucking
fight until we win.
486
00:40:20,479 --> 00:40:22,089
We're fucking rebels, no?
487
00:40:24,396 --> 00:40:26,006
And we're gonna take
care of all of it.
488
00:40:28,965 --> 00:40:30,097
Just not today.
489
00:40:33,666 --> 00:40:35,320
[door creaking]
490
00:40:35,450 --> 00:40:37,235
[distorted rock music playing]
491
00:40:39,889 --> 00:40:42,240
[pensive music playing]
492
00:41:12,966 --> 00:41:14,750
I want my baby.
493
00:41:14,881 --> 00:41:16,622
[bus humming]
494
00:41:20,669 --> 00:41:22,802
- I want my baby.
- [Toaster] It's okay.
495
00:41:23,411 --> 00:41:25,892
- Shh.
- I want my baby.
496
00:41:26,022 --> 00:41:28,895
Shh, can you just,
like, think it
497
00:41:29,025 --> 00:41:30,679
instead of saying it out loud?
498
00:41:30,810 --> 00:41:32,551
I want my baby!
499
00:41:32,681 --> 00:41:34,640
And I would like her
to shut the fuck up!
500
00:41:36,337 --> 00:41:37,295
What the fuck you say?
501
00:41:40,950 --> 00:41:42,474
No, it's okay.
502
00:41:43,257 --> 00:41:44,737
You can, like, say
that one more time.
503
00:41:45,390 --> 00:41:46,652
Just shut her up.
504
00:41:56,618 --> 00:41:58,698
Do you know what the fuck
my friend has been through?
505
00:42:00,013 --> 00:42:01,623
You want her to
shut the fuck up?
506
00:42:02,972 --> 00:42:04,322
Just go back to your seat.
507
00:42:05,932 --> 00:42:07,325
Go back to my seat?
508
00:42:08,891 --> 00:42:10,589
I'll stand here if I want to.
509
00:42:16,421 --> 00:42:17,422
You're drunk.
510
00:42:19,815 --> 00:42:20,990
What'd you say?
511
00:42:21,556 --> 00:42:23,341
You fucking stink, you're drunk.
512
00:42:25,995 --> 00:42:27,780
- [man groans]
- [punches landing]
513
00:42:27,910 --> 00:42:30,391
[man] Fuck! Get this
crazy bitch off me!
514
00:42:30,522 --> 00:42:31,697
[Toaster screaming] Fuck you!
515
00:42:33,263 --> 00:42:34,352
[man] Fuck!
516
00:42:36,832 --> 00:42:38,617
- [man] Fuck!
- [Toaster screaming] Fuck you!
517
00:42:38,747 --> 00:42:40,027
[Santi] Look at
this place, mija.
518
00:42:40,096 --> 00:42:41,489
That's what you dreamed of.
519
00:42:43,665 --> 00:42:45,537
We can put my mother's
papal cross right here.
520
00:42:45,667 --> 00:42:46,929
- [Santi] Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?
521
00:42:47,060 --> 00:42:48,191
[Santi] Mm-hmm.
522
00:42:51,934 --> 00:42:54,720
Maybe, like, a
painting right there?
523
00:42:54,807 --> 00:42:55,982
[Santi] You could put up two.
524
00:42:56,112 --> 00:42:57,549
[Chama] What do you think?
525
00:42:58,114 --> 00:42:59,246
What do you think?
526
00:43:04,556 --> 00:43:08,734
Oh, and... oh, I have
this doll collection
527
00:43:08,864 --> 00:43:10,799
that my mother found outside
a dumpster in the mall.
528
00:43:10,823 --> 00:43:13,260
- [Santi] Really?
- It's in perfect condition.
529
00:43:13,391 --> 00:43:14,977
Well, like, perfect condition
for, like, the dumpster,
530
00:43:15,001 --> 00:43:16,441
but I've always
wanted to display it.
531
00:43:17,743 --> 00:43:18,783
Where you gonna put it up?
532
00:43:20,528 --> 00:43:22,048
- What do you think?
- [Santi chuckles]
533
00:43:23,966 --> 00:43:25,030
[Santi] Are you happy or what?
534
00:43:25,054 --> 00:43:27,883
[ambient music playing]
535
00:43:44,813 --> 00:43:45,901
[Chama] I wanted a miracle.
536
00:43:47,512 --> 00:43:48,426
And I got one.
537
00:43:50,906 --> 00:43:52,299
I didn't need anything else.
538
00:43:54,823 --> 00:43:59,785
♪
539
00:44:03,136 --> 00:44:05,573
[birds chirping]
540
00:44:22,068 --> 00:44:23,908
[Gata] My husband was at
home with my daughter.
541
00:44:25,724 --> 00:44:27,595
I was at the long
bar with my friends.
542
00:44:30,598 --> 00:44:31,556
Boyfriend.
543
00:44:33,471 --> 00:44:34,776
We were all fucked up.
544
00:44:36,691 --> 00:44:37,779
Breaking vows...
545
00:44:39,607 --> 00:44:40,782
and I fell.
546
00:44:41,479 --> 00:44:42,915
Cracked my fucking tailbone.
547
00:44:45,047 --> 00:44:46,962
I put one of those
blue ice packs on it.
548
00:44:47,746 --> 00:44:48,747
It broke.
549
00:44:50,575 --> 00:44:51,837
Dyed my ass blue.
550
00:44:55,754 --> 00:44:57,799
So, I go home smelling
like turpentine...
551
00:44:59,018 --> 00:45:01,020
with a serious fucking injury,
552
00:45:01,150 --> 00:45:02,369
a blue ass...
553
00:45:03,588 --> 00:45:05,067
all the while,
554
00:45:05,154 --> 00:45:06,874
I was just supposed to
be picking up dinner.
555
00:45:09,115 --> 00:45:13,380
♪ Lord take me
home, take me home ♪
556
00:45:15,774 --> 00:45:21,867
♪ 'Cause I need
somewhere to go ♪
557
00:45:22,041 --> 00:45:25,174
♪ My pockets are empty ♪
558
00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:28,743
♪ And so is my soul ♪
559
00:45:28,830 --> 00:45:33,792
♪ Oh, Lord, take me
home, take me home ♪
560
00:45:35,881 --> 00:45:37,839
["Broke" by Feedback
Revival playing]
561
00:45:52,854 --> 00:45:56,466
♪ Well I got soul
coming out my ears ♪
562
00:45:56,554 --> 00:46:00,427
♪ But I ain't got cash to
put gas in my pick up ♪
563
00:46:00,601 --> 00:46:05,171
♪ Pick up, well I got dreams
but I also got fears ♪
564
00:46:05,258 --> 00:46:07,695
♪ Which one will
win I cannot tell ♪
565
00:46:07,869 --> 00:46:09,871
♪ The good King Jesus
or the hounds of hell ♪
566
00:46:10,045 --> 00:46:12,265
♪ I said I ain't
got no money... ♪
567
00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:15,224
[faint music playing]
568
00:46:15,355 --> 00:46:17,575
[door creaks and buzzes]
569
00:46:22,362 --> 00:46:24,625
[Mrs. Dyer] Look who
finally decided to show up.
570
00:46:25,234 --> 00:46:27,497
I was out looking for
a present for my dad.
571
00:46:27,628 --> 00:46:28,934
I don't know what to get him.
572
00:46:29,064 --> 00:46:30,849
Maybe another World War Two book
573
00:46:30,936 --> 00:46:32,816
with the card inside that
says, "Happy birthday.
574
00:46:32,938 --> 00:46:34,330
We got nothing in common."
575
00:46:34,461 --> 00:46:36,594
- [Mrs. Dyer sniffs]
- [Nick] What?
576
00:46:37,986 --> 00:46:39,727
You know your jacket smells?
577
00:46:39,858 --> 00:46:40,989
You ever wash it?
578
00:46:41,903 --> 00:46:43,383
It's not like it touches my ass,
579
00:46:43,470 --> 00:46:44,950
I'm not, like, farting in it...
580
00:46:46,212 --> 00:46:47,300
all the time.
581
00:46:48,954 --> 00:46:50,172
Oh, come on, that was funny.
582
00:46:51,086 --> 00:46:52,606
You know, you really
should laugh more.
583
00:46:52,653 --> 00:46:53,567
Especially here.
584
00:46:54,568 --> 00:46:55,917
[door creaks and buzzes]
585
00:47:07,189 --> 00:47:09,017
Not sure if I'm
supposed to be here.
586
00:47:10,279 --> 00:47:12,170
[Mrs. Dyer] If you're standing
there, you probably are.
587
00:47:12,194 --> 00:47:13,500
But we don't detox.
588
00:47:14,849 --> 00:47:16,024
I'm clean.
589
00:47:16,503 --> 00:47:17,504
[Mrs. Dyer] We're full up.
590
00:47:19,071 --> 00:47:20,594
Plus, it's 3:00 PM.
591
00:47:20,725 --> 00:47:22,117
We don't take anyone past noon.
592
00:47:28,123 --> 00:47:30,043
[Chama] This is the third
place I've tried today.
593
00:47:32,127 --> 00:47:33,651
What's worse than
being invisible?
594
00:47:35,130 --> 00:47:36,697
Being seen as disposable.
595
00:47:36,784 --> 00:47:38,656
[electric buzzing]
596
00:47:44,879 --> 00:47:47,142
[melancholy music playing]
597
00:47:50,929 --> 00:47:52,408
[Chama] I go to the hospital.
598
00:47:52,539 --> 00:47:54,846
Be responsible. Get checked.
599
00:47:54,933 --> 00:47:55,934
Dose.
600
00:47:59,981 --> 00:48:01,548
I want to rip off my skin.
601
00:48:03,985 --> 00:48:05,030
The way she looks at me.
602
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:10,122
Does she need to double up?
603
00:48:10,905 --> 00:48:12,820
The nurse. The fucking nurse.
604
00:48:13,821 --> 00:48:17,085
I'm dirty. Disgusting.
605
00:48:17,216 --> 00:48:19,218
She doesn't see me.
606
00:48:19,348 --> 00:48:21,742
She'll check my chart.
607
00:48:21,829 --> 00:48:22,909
She'll know what I've done.
608
00:48:36,496 --> 00:48:39,064
[objects clattering]
609
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,242
[knocking on door]
610
00:48:43,764 --> 00:48:46,201
[door creaking open]
611
00:49:06,134 --> 00:49:08,223
[indistinct whispering]
612
00:49:16,188 --> 00:49:18,059
[toilet flushing]
613
00:49:34,336 --> 00:49:36,227
[Santi] I told you last
time I wanted to sell you,
614
00:49:36,251 --> 00:49:37,557
you know what I mean?
615
00:49:38,340 --> 00:49:40,144
I just didn't like the way
y'all went out like that.
616
00:49:40,168 --> 00:49:41,387
[man] I know you
got something.
617
00:49:41,517 --> 00:49:42,780
[Santi] Nah, not this time.
618
00:49:42,910 --> 00:49:45,391
[indistinct conversation]
619
00:49:45,478 --> 00:49:49,351
[indistinct fighting]
620
00:49:49,482 --> 00:49:51,049
[man] Fuck you up.
Fucking kill you.
621
00:49:52,441 --> 00:49:53,703
This shit ain't over.
622
00:49:53,878 --> 00:49:58,796
♪
623
00:50:00,232 --> 00:50:01,581
[Chama] Santi,
what did you do?
624
00:50:05,977 --> 00:50:07,282
Keep your fucking mouth shut.
625
00:50:22,907 --> 00:50:23,995
[music fades]
626
00:50:34,005 --> 00:50:35,658
[Chama panting]
627
00:50:38,183 --> 00:50:41,142
[Chama crying]
628
00:50:49,194 --> 00:50:51,196
[Chama panting]
629
00:51:00,031 --> 00:51:02,990
[Chama shivering]
630
00:51:04,862 --> 00:51:06,167
[Chama vomiting]
631
00:51:09,867 --> 00:51:12,217
[Chama panting]
632
00:51:20,442 --> 00:51:23,184
[Chama groaning]
633
00:51:23,271 --> 00:51:25,708
[suspenseful music playing]
634
00:51:27,406 --> 00:51:28,886
[Chama groaning]
635
00:51:36,894 --> 00:51:38,243
[groaning continues]
636
00:51:44,162 --> 00:51:45,903
[Chama coughing]
637
00:51:50,168 --> 00:51:52,083
[knocking on door]
638
00:51:55,260 --> 00:51:56,174
Who's there?
639
00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:02,180
[Toaster] What are
you doing, Chama?
640
00:52:03,877 --> 00:52:04,922
Toaster.
641
00:52:09,187 --> 00:52:10,884
You gotta go away.
642
00:52:11,015 --> 00:52:12,277
[Chama panting]
643
00:52:16,368 --> 00:52:17,282
Go away!
644
00:52:25,507 --> 00:52:26,769
[Chama] Toaster.
645
00:52:28,075 --> 00:52:30,512
Toaster!
646
00:52:30,643 --> 00:52:32,323
[Toaster] I thought
you wanted me to leave.
647
00:52:35,039 --> 00:52:36,692
[sobbing] No, no.
648
00:52:36,823 --> 00:52:38,390
[crying]
649
00:52:42,394 --> 00:52:43,438
I'm all alone.
650
00:52:51,098 --> 00:52:53,753
[Toaster] Remember
when we first met?
651
00:52:53,883 --> 00:52:56,016
We were working at
some old folks' home
652
00:52:56,147 --> 00:52:57,322
and making food and shit.
653
00:53:00,455 --> 00:53:02,283
Yeah.
654
00:53:02,414 --> 00:53:04,285
We both hated the way
old people were treated.
655
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:07,854
Like they were a nuisance.
656
00:53:09,551 --> 00:53:11,727
Like they chose to
be old and shit.
657
00:53:11,858 --> 00:53:13,991
[Toaster] You thought I was
like your sister and shit.
658
00:53:14,121 --> 00:53:15,688
You got all mad.
659
00:53:17,255 --> 00:53:18,908
[lighter clicking]
660
00:53:19,039 --> 00:53:20,475
[fire crackling]
661
00:53:20,649 --> 00:53:25,785
♪
662
00:53:30,007 --> 00:53:32,705
[Chama groaning]
663
00:53:32,835 --> 00:53:34,475
[Toaster] You know
what the worst part is?
664
00:53:35,447 --> 00:53:37,405
All of it.
665
00:53:37,536 --> 00:53:39,016
[Toaster] When
you're out, Chama.
666
00:53:42,193 --> 00:53:44,543
You start smoking the crumbs.
667
00:53:44,673 --> 00:53:46,197
I've seen you do it.
668
00:53:46,327 --> 00:53:48,068
You're a dummy.
669
00:53:48,199 --> 00:53:49,559
You smoke the crumbs
and then more.
670
00:53:49,678 --> 00:53:52,768
Then you put Selena
on full blast.
671
00:53:52,855 --> 00:53:57,338
But it's not the same
as when you kiss it.
672
00:53:57,425 --> 00:53:59,036
- Put it in.
- [screaming] No, shut up!
673
00:54:00,559 --> 00:54:01,908
[Toaster] Open up.
674
00:54:02,039 --> 00:54:03,997
[Chama] No. No!
675
00:54:04,128 --> 00:54:06,565
[banging on door]
676
00:54:06,695 --> 00:54:08,523
[Toaster] I've got
something for you, Chama.
677
00:54:10,134 --> 00:54:11,265
No!
678
00:54:11,352 --> 00:54:13,746
[music intensifies]
679
00:54:15,661 --> 00:54:17,054
[Chama panting]
680
00:54:23,408 --> 00:54:25,323
[Chama] I'll do
better, I'll do better,
681
00:54:25,453 --> 00:54:27,107
I'll do better, I'll do better,
682
00:54:27,194 --> 00:54:28,369
I promise I'll do better.
683
00:54:28,500 --> 00:54:31,503
[indistinct arguing]
684
00:54:31,633 --> 00:54:33,679
[woman] You lied. You lied.
685
00:54:33,809 --> 00:54:38,118
[indistinct, overlapping voices]
686
00:54:38,249 --> 00:54:40,903
[woman sobbing incoherently]
687
00:54:43,819 --> 00:54:45,691
No, don't... Don't
move, don't move.
688
00:54:45,778 --> 00:54:47,736
Is it cold? Is it
cold down there?
689
00:54:47,867 --> 00:54:50,957
Please hold on to
my hand. Oh, my God.
690
00:54:51,088 --> 00:54:53,438
[woman sobbing]
691
00:54:56,832 --> 00:54:58,921
[heavy metal music playing]
692
00:54:59,052 --> 00:54:59,966
[Chama] Toaster.
693
00:55:01,620 --> 00:55:02,882
Are you fucking with me?
694
00:55:03,883 --> 00:55:05,798
What are you doing, Chama?
695
00:55:05,928 --> 00:55:07,626
[man's voice muffled] Hey.
696
00:55:07,756 --> 00:55:09,410
[speaking indistinctly]
697
00:55:10,629 --> 00:55:12,109
- Don't you?
- No, sorry.
698
00:55:14,198 --> 00:55:15,358
I only got a couple of bucks.
699
00:55:16,591 --> 00:55:19,551
[man speaking indistinctly]
700
00:55:19,681 --> 00:55:21,292
Come on. Please.
701
00:55:25,252 --> 00:55:27,602
Come on. Come on. Please.
702
00:55:33,826 --> 00:55:38,135
Come on. Come on.
Come on, please.
703
00:55:39,701 --> 00:55:40,963
[silence]
704
00:55:46,143 --> 00:55:48,493
[Chama] I've been talking
to you and not once,
705
00:55:48,580 --> 00:55:51,235
through everything, have
you said anything back.
706
00:55:54,238 --> 00:55:55,326
Are you not there?
707
00:55:56,805 --> 00:55:58,155
Can you not hear me?
708
00:55:59,243 --> 00:56:01,027
[tape rolling]
709
00:56:05,727 --> 00:56:08,469
[music box lullaby playing]
710
00:56:19,654 --> 00:56:21,613
[baby crying]
711
00:56:21,787 --> 00:56:27,009
♪
712
00:56:34,669 --> 00:56:35,540
[distant thud]
713
00:56:40,109 --> 00:56:41,067
Nine months.
714
00:56:42,155 --> 00:56:43,069
[sighs]
715
00:56:44,505 --> 00:56:45,637
Clean.
716
00:56:50,511 --> 00:56:51,556
Look at your arms.
717
00:56:52,252 --> 00:56:55,168
You're a worthless fucking...
718
00:56:56,604 --> 00:56:57,562
junkie.
719
00:57:00,391 --> 00:57:01,671
Why don't you just
kill yourself?
720
00:57:03,481 --> 00:57:07,006
[panting]
721
00:57:11,750 --> 00:57:12,707
Or you could...
722
00:57:14,535 --> 00:57:15,536
go.
723
00:57:16,885 --> 00:57:17,930
Grab your daughter...
724
00:57:20,149 --> 00:57:21,542
and get out of here.
725
00:57:22,064 --> 00:57:23,414
Get the fuck out of here.
726
00:57:24,763 --> 00:57:26,460
[baby crying]
727
00:57:26,591 --> 00:57:27,592
Get the fuck out of here.
728
00:57:30,029 --> 00:57:31,248
Police department, don't move!
729
00:57:31,335 --> 00:57:32,553
Police department!
730
00:57:35,382 --> 00:57:38,255
[baby crying]
731
00:57:40,344 --> 00:57:42,389
[suspenseful music plays]
732
00:57:49,744 --> 00:57:50,615
[Santi exclaims]
733
00:57:51,703 --> 00:57:53,095
[Santi grunts]
734
00:58:01,408 --> 00:58:03,149
[reel stops]
735
00:58:05,673 --> 00:58:08,328
[Nell] You wanna know
the... [chuckles]
736
00:58:08,459 --> 00:58:11,462
two worst words in the
English vocabulary?
737
00:58:14,595 --> 00:58:16,554
What if... [chuckles]
738
00:58:17,642 --> 00:58:19,557
um, what if...
739
00:58:21,820 --> 00:58:23,430
my dad was the president?
740
00:58:25,302 --> 00:58:26,303
Or what if...
741
00:58:27,739 --> 00:58:29,175
um, my mom...
742
00:58:30,437 --> 00:58:32,091
actually wanted me?
743
00:58:34,746 --> 00:58:36,182
What if...
744
00:58:37,009 --> 00:58:38,750
I was born in London,
745
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:40,012
or...
746
00:58:40,882 --> 00:58:42,188
or Ireland?
747
00:58:44,886 --> 00:58:47,106
Lived on a farm far away?
748
00:58:47,933 --> 00:58:49,108
[chuckles]
749
00:58:53,808 --> 00:58:55,941
What if when I ate food
750
00:58:56,028 --> 00:58:57,769
I could keep it down,
751
00:58:57,899 --> 00:59:01,338
like, that wasn't even
a thought, you know?
752
00:59:01,468 --> 00:59:03,209
[chuckles]
753
00:59:07,866 --> 00:59:09,128
What if they didn't say...
754
00:59:10,434 --> 00:59:11,348
it was all my fault?
755
00:59:14,438 --> 00:59:15,700
Make up lies about me?
756
00:59:19,051 --> 00:59:20,139
[sniffs]
757
00:59:22,576 --> 00:59:24,535
What if he came to get me?
758
00:59:24,665 --> 00:59:25,623
[chuckles]
759
00:59:28,016 --> 00:59:29,322
You know where I'm at?
760
00:59:34,283 --> 00:59:36,677
You know, what if I didn't
have to ask what if?
761
00:59:36,808 --> 00:59:37,852
[chuckles]
762
00:59:39,463 --> 00:59:41,552
[soft music plays]
763
00:59:41,726 --> 00:59:46,687
♪
764
01:00:17,544 --> 01:00:18,415
Can't.
765
01:00:20,895 --> 01:00:23,550
♪ Please don't say anything ♪
766
01:00:23,724 --> 01:00:25,813
♪ Anything at all ♪
767
01:00:25,944 --> 01:00:28,729
Look, I've... I've been calling
768
01:00:28,816 --> 01:00:31,863
over and over and no...
Nobody will tell me nothing!
769
01:00:32,037 --> 01:00:35,693
♪ The silence says it all ♪
770
01:00:38,652 --> 01:00:41,263
♪ Blood running
through my veins ♪
771
01:00:41,394 --> 01:00:42,613
Where is she?
772
01:00:48,923 --> 01:00:50,403
Don't worry, [indistinct]
773
01:00:51,926 --> 01:00:53,624
[Chama] No, don't...
Don't hang up.
774
01:00:53,754 --> 01:00:55,669
I just... I want to
know where she is.
775
01:00:55,756 --> 01:00:58,411
♪ For that call ♪
776
01:01:02,067 --> 01:01:06,463
♪ Ooh ♪
777
01:01:16,211 --> 01:01:17,299
[Chama] Can't.
778
01:01:18,126 --> 01:01:19,519
[Toaster] Come on!
779
01:01:20,128 --> 01:01:22,435
What the... what the fuck?
780
01:01:22,566 --> 01:01:23,784
We need help!
781
01:01:23,915 --> 01:01:25,046
Who's gonna help us?
782
01:01:25,438 --> 01:01:27,788
Who? Who, who, who?
783
01:01:27,919 --> 01:01:30,051
- I don't know, I just...
- [Toaster] Say it. What?
784
01:01:30,182 --> 01:01:31,899
- Say it! What are you, dumb?
- I feel like...
785
01:01:31,923 --> 01:01:33,098
Who's gonna help us?
786
01:01:33,968 --> 01:01:35,840
- Who's gonna help us?
- I don't know!
787
01:01:37,102 --> 01:01:37,972
I don't know!
788
01:01:39,974 --> 01:01:41,691
- We need help.
- [Toaster] Who's gonna help us?
789
01:01:41,715 --> 01:01:43,108
I don't know. I don't know.
790
01:01:43,804 --> 01:01:46,851
I don't... I feel... I feel...
791
01:01:46,981 --> 01:01:49,375
I feel like I wanna
rip my hair out.
792
01:01:50,594 --> 01:01:52,944
I wanna tear my skin off
793
01:01:53,074 --> 01:01:54,685
and walk away from this shit
794
01:01:54,815 --> 01:01:56,382
I feel all the time!
795
01:01:57,165 --> 01:01:59,733
[Toaster laughs]
796
01:01:59,907 --> 01:02:03,084
♪ Don't leave me
don't leave me ♪
797
01:02:03,258 --> 01:02:05,522
♪ Don't leave me
don't leave me ♪
798
01:02:07,654 --> 01:02:08,525
[Toaster] What?
799
01:02:09,526 --> 01:02:10,527
Where are you going?
800
01:02:15,662 --> 01:02:16,663
Where are you going?
801
01:02:18,056 --> 01:02:19,405
You just gonna stumble off?
802
01:02:20,667 --> 01:02:21,827
You gonna stumble right back.
803
01:02:27,065 --> 01:02:28,545
No one gives a shit.
804
01:02:30,068 --> 01:02:31,765
We ain't stupid.
805
01:02:31,896 --> 01:02:33,332
We know there's nothing else.
806
01:02:34,507 --> 01:02:35,639
Where are you going?
807
01:02:37,597 --> 01:02:39,381
Where are you going, Chama?
808
01:02:45,257 --> 01:02:47,564
[eerie music plays]
809
01:02:59,097 --> 01:03:00,881
[screaming]
810
01:03:06,408 --> 01:03:08,933
[Chama] When Abuelo
died, I ran away.
811
01:03:11,196 --> 01:03:13,111
[screaming]
812
01:03:13,241 --> 01:03:14,871
[Chama] Which brought
me right back to you.
813
01:03:14,895 --> 01:03:16,984
[screaming]
814
01:03:17,115 --> 01:03:18,788
[Beatriz] Do you want
them to think you're loca?
815
01:03:18,812 --> 01:03:20,727
Because that's what
they're gonna say, hm?
816
01:03:20,858 --> 01:03:22,538
Look at that crazy,
going around losing it.
817
01:03:23,687 --> 01:03:24,949
[bell tolling]
818
01:03:32,870 --> 01:03:35,263
It's not fair. I don't
want Abuelo to go.
819
01:03:36,003 --> 01:03:37,683
You think anyone cares
about what you want?
820
01:03:41,226 --> 01:03:42,986
Your sister's not gonna
live with us anymore.
821
01:03:43,620 --> 01:03:45,230
Her father wants her.
822
01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:46,686
Take her back to Texas
and I'm too fucking tired
823
01:03:46,710 --> 01:03:47,580
to keep fighting him.
824
01:03:49,974 --> 01:03:51,628
- [crow squawking]
- Just us now.
825
01:03:59,244 --> 01:04:01,222
Don't be mad at what it is
because we're just paying
826
01:04:01,246 --> 01:04:02,686
for something we
did in another life.
827
01:04:04,249 --> 01:04:05,119
Here, drink this.
828
01:04:06,643 --> 01:04:08,079
Not too much.
829
01:04:08,209 --> 01:04:09,609
Just enough to make
you feel better.
830
01:04:28,969 --> 01:04:29,840
[sniffs]
831
01:04:36,150 --> 01:04:37,195
[thud]
832
01:04:37,325 --> 01:04:39,414
[serene music plays]
833
01:04:39,588 --> 01:04:44,506
♪
834
01:05:08,966 --> 01:05:10,646
[nurse] I thought you
looked thirsty, mama.
835
01:05:15,407 --> 01:05:17,207
Chart's looking like
you're eight weeks along.
836
01:05:18,062 --> 01:05:19,585
Someone talk to you
about your options?
837
01:05:23,415 --> 01:05:24,721
It's okay, mama, take your time.
838
01:05:28,159 --> 01:05:29,073
[sniffs]
839
01:05:33,773 --> 01:05:34,948
Thank you.
840
01:05:35,906 --> 01:05:36,970
[nurse] You think you
gotta keep it yourself,
841
01:05:36,994 --> 01:05:38,560
but you don't.
842
01:05:39,474 --> 01:05:41,104
I don't know what direction you
gonna go with this pregnancy,
843
01:05:41,128 --> 01:05:43,435
but we can help you
safely transition.
844
01:05:43,565 --> 01:05:45,045
Detox that stuff
out your system.
845
01:05:46,917 --> 01:05:48,179
Or you can continue your way.
846
01:05:51,051 --> 01:05:52,966
You got two options here.
847
01:05:53,097 --> 01:05:55,534
First, you leave, then
there's the second one.
848
01:06:03,324 --> 01:06:04,848
[Chama] I know I'll
see her face again.
849
01:06:11,506 --> 01:06:12,725
The bedpost.
850
01:06:14,031 --> 01:06:14,858
The ceiling.
851
01:06:16,076 --> 01:06:16,947
The mole.
852
01:06:18,035 --> 01:06:19,514
The itch.
853
01:06:19,645 --> 01:06:21,101
- [woman] Did you hear that?
- [Chama coughs]
854
01:06:21,125 --> 01:06:24,128
[indistinct whispering]
855
01:06:26,565 --> 01:06:28,262
[Chama] I know I'll
see her face again.
856
01:06:28,741 --> 01:06:32,049
[machine beeping]
857
01:06:33,790 --> 01:06:35,922
The bedpost. The ceiling.
858
01:06:37,141 --> 01:06:38,838
The mole. The itch.
859
01:06:38,925 --> 01:06:40,797
[indistinct whispering]
860
01:06:44,583 --> 01:06:47,673
[music intensifies]
861
01:06:51,416 --> 01:06:53,157
[Chama] I know I'll
see her face again.
862
01:07:00,381 --> 01:07:03,384
The bedpost. The
ceiling. The mole.
863
01:07:03,515 --> 01:07:04,646
You're looking better.
864
01:07:08,259 --> 01:07:10,087
[Chama] I know I'll
see her face again.
865
01:07:10,217 --> 01:07:11,457
I know I'll see her face again.
866
01:07:11,523 --> 01:07:12,959
[woman] You're looking better.
867
01:07:13,090 --> 01:07:14,482
I know I'll see her face again.
868
01:07:14,613 --> 01:07:15,919
[woman] You're looking better.
869
01:07:16,049 --> 01:07:17,289
I know I'll see her face again!
870
01:07:19,270 --> 01:07:20,793
[phone ringing]
871
01:07:31,848 --> 01:07:32,849
First time here?
872
01:07:37,418 --> 01:07:39,594
They think we're all
crazy. [chuckles]
873
01:07:39,725 --> 01:07:41,325
Kind of makes me wanna
pop their eye out.
874
01:07:42,641 --> 01:07:44,861
[exclaims] I'm Nell.
875
01:07:45,818 --> 01:07:47,820
[woman speaks
indistinctly on radio]
876
01:07:48,995 --> 01:07:49,996
Chama.
877
01:07:50,997 --> 01:07:51,998
[Nell] Like the town.
878
01:07:54,522 --> 01:07:55,872
Chama, New Mexico.
879
01:07:56,524 --> 01:07:57,699
[elevator bell dings]
880
01:08:03,096 --> 01:08:05,055
Everything is out to beat us,
881
01:08:05,925 --> 01:08:08,165
but I'm just biding my minutes
'til I get into Guadalupe.
882
01:08:13,933 --> 01:08:14,893
Is this your first time?
883
01:08:16,283 --> 01:08:17,284
Sixth.
884
01:08:17,371 --> 01:08:19,156
[indistinct over radio]
885
01:08:22,550 --> 01:08:23,682
See you later.
886
01:08:25,902 --> 01:08:27,077
[phone rings]
887
01:08:29,253 --> 01:08:31,429
[machine beeping]
888
01:08:31,559 --> 01:08:32,386
[Chama] Bedpost.
889
01:08:36,042 --> 01:08:36,913
Ceiling.
890
01:08:46,487 --> 01:08:47,880
Boredom.
891
01:08:56,497 --> 01:08:57,759
Itch.
892
01:09:01,546 --> 01:09:03,591
Not as sick.
893
01:09:03,678 --> 01:09:06,377
[machine beeping]
894
01:09:14,167 --> 01:09:15,362
[Shorty] I was in my
Grandma's double-wide
895
01:09:15,386 --> 01:09:16,691
playing with her cat.
896
01:09:17,170 --> 01:09:18,530
Her neighbor stopped
over and asked
897
01:09:18,650 --> 01:09:19,810
if I wanted to try something.
898
01:09:20,608 --> 01:09:22,393
I was like, "How
does it feel?"
899
01:09:22,523 --> 01:09:24,243
He was like, "Don't be
a baby. Just try it."
900
01:09:25,831 --> 01:09:27,485
So I smoked meth
out of a light bulb.
901
01:09:28,573 --> 01:09:30,173
I was like, "I don't
even feel anything."
902
01:09:31,228 --> 01:09:34,100
Then it was days later
903
01:09:34,231 --> 01:09:35,972
and there was no concept
of where time went.
904
01:09:36,102 --> 01:09:38,713
All I know is
Grandma's cat was dead
905
01:09:38,844 --> 01:09:40,237
and I missed my 16th birthday.
906
01:09:41,194 --> 01:09:42,152
[click]
907
01:09:45,242 --> 01:09:46,808
[comedic music plays]
908
01:09:48,810 --> 01:09:52,292
I was just thinking how
fucking awesome life is.
909
01:09:52,423 --> 01:09:55,252
I know. We have
clothes and groceries.
910
01:09:55,382 --> 01:09:57,036
Mom's not snorting
dust off the carpet
911
01:09:57,167 --> 01:09:59,038
and we have college funds.
912
01:09:59,169 --> 01:10:01,089
I'm so glad you're not
fuck ups like Tina's kids.
913
01:10:01,171 --> 01:10:03,260
They smell like garbage.
914
01:10:03,390 --> 01:10:05,194
You're also lucky to have a
house with a working heater.
915
01:10:05,218 --> 01:10:06,524
Do people live without a heater?
916
01:10:06,611 --> 01:10:08,047
Oh, yes.
917
01:10:08,134 --> 01:10:09,962
Because usually those people
918
01:10:10,049 --> 01:10:11,877
are fucking strangers for coke.
919
01:10:13,444 --> 01:10:15,315
- Hey, Nick.
- [Nick] Hello.
920
01:10:15,446 --> 01:10:16,882
[phone rings]
921
01:10:20,538 --> 01:10:21,843
Bring back a chicharrón?
922
01:10:23,062 --> 01:10:24,020
[Nick] Huh?
923
01:10:25,282 --> 01:10:26,805
Are you even New Mexican?
924
01:10:28,285 --> 01:10:30,243
Born and raised.
925
01:10:30,374 --> 01:10:32,214
You're as New Mexican as
Taco Bell green chili.
926
01:10:32,550 --> 01:10:34,769
There, you see?
You do have jokes.
927
01:10:34,856 --> 01:10:36,336
They're not necessarily
good, but...
928
01:10:37,598 --> 01:10:39,470
[buzzing]
929
01:10:48,827 --> 01:10:51,873
["Big Black Tooth" by
Feedback Revival playing]
930
01:10:56,922 --> 01:10:59,881
♪ I'm gettin' better,
gettin' better all the time ♪
931
01:11:04,321 --> 01:11:06,149
[Nick] Hey, hey, hold up.
932
01:11:06,279 --> 01:11:07,498
Hold up. You got
a place to go?
933
01:11:09,326 --> 01:11:10,588
Yeah, sure.
934
01:11:11,241 --> 01:11:13,373
[Nick] There's other
spots you can try.
935
01:11:13,460 --> 01:11:15,900
Yeah, everyone's really rolling
out the red carpet these days.
936
01:11:16,681 --> 01:11:19,423
- [indistinct screaming]
- [glass breaking]
937
01:11:23,296 --> 01:11:25,255
[Nick] Francis, don't.
938
01:11:25,603 --> 01:11:27,387
Come on, Francis.
939
01:11:27,518 --> 01:11:29,607
[Francis] 'Cause I
ain't got nothing left!
940
01:11:29,694 --> 01:11:31,609
[Nick] Please, will
you just go inside?
941
01:11:31,696 --> 01:11:32,914
Francis.
942
01:11:38,311 --> 01:11:39,617
[Mrs. Dyer] People come and go.
943
01:11:39,747 --> 01:11:41,488
If you want it, you want it.
944
01:11:41,619 --> 01:11:44,535
If you don't, don't
take someone else's bed.
945
01:11:45,449 --> 01:11:47,289
There's a box of donated
clothes in the corner.
946
01:11:53,196 --> 01:11:54,356
[Nell] Looks like you made it.
947
01:12:21,746 --> 01:12:22,921
Look...
948
01:12:25,358 --> 01:12:26,478
I don't know what I'm doing.
949
01:12:28,448 --> 01:12:29,319
Are you on anything?
950
01:12:31,234 --> 01:12:32,322
No, I'm clean.
951
01:12:35,629 --> 01:12:37,196
Plus, I don't even
got any money.
952
01:12:37,936 --> 01:12:39,216
Has that ever
stopped you before?
953
01:12:43,246 --> 01:12:44,160
Whatever.
954
01:12:57,390 --> 01:12:58,478
I'm not gonna fuck you.
955
01:12:58,870 --> 01:13:00,872
[Nick chuckles]
956
01:13:03,614 --> 01:13:04,484
I'm sorry.
957
01:13:07,618 --> 01:13:08,532
[Chama sighs]
958
01:13:12,623 --> 01:13:13,711
Why are you here?
959
01:13:14,451 --> 01:13:16,888
Because I need to
get my daughter back.
960
01:13:25,244 --> 01:13:26,463
Because I need to be normal.
961
01:13:30,728 --> 01:13:31,928
You know what that word means?
962
01:13:33,034 --> 01:13:35,254
The usual, the average,
963
01:13:35,385 --> 01:13:37,343
the typical state or condition.
964
01:13:39,302 --> 01:13:40,303
What's normal to you?
965
01:13:43,654 --> 01:13:44,524
I don't know.
966
01:13:45,786 --> 01:13:46,666
[Nick] Think about it.
967
01:13:55,753 --> 01:13:57,711
Two girls drinking at a party.
968
01:14:01,715 --> 01:14:03,239
One stops when it's empty.
969
01:14:04,588 --> 01:14:06,372
For the other, it never ends.
970
01:14:07,765 --> 01:14:09,157
So you want to be
able to drink...
971
01:14:09,288 --> 01:14:10,246
No!
972
01:14:11,899 --> 01:14:13,249
I don't fucking need this shit.
973
01:14:20,604 --> 01:14:22,649
Look, it don't have to be easy,
974
01:14:22,780 --> 01:14:25,478
but just, like, fair, you know?
975
01:14:25,609 --> 01:14:27,480
Nothing in life is fair.
976
01:14:27,567 --> 01:14:28,438
[Chama] We'll see.
977
01:14:29,787 --> 01:14:31,092
What do you know about it?
978
01:14:34,095 --> 01:14:36,446
I was diagnosed with
cancer when I was 30.
979
01:14:36,576 --> 01:14:37,882
My parents won't talk to me.
980
01:14:38,012 --> 01:14:40,406
My first boyfriend
ended in assault
981
01:14:40,493 --> 01:14:42,321
and my last one cheated on me.
982
01:14:42,756 --> 01:14:44,410
I would love a drink,
983
01:14:44,497 --> 01:14:45,977
but I haven't had
one in 12 years.
984
01:14:47,021 --> 01:14:49,546
Nothing in life is
fair, nothing is normal.
985
01:14:50,547 --> 01:14:52,187
But there's beauty if
you fight to see it.
986
01:14:57,641 --> 01:15:00,252
- You're gay?
- [Nick chuckles]
987
01:15:00,383 --> 01:15:01,783
That's what you
took away from that?
988
01:15:06,867 --> 01:15:08,547
You know what I did
when I first got sober?
989
01:15:10,175 --> 01:15:11,375
I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
990
01:15:15,485 --> 01:15:17,085
[Nick] I wrote a moment
on each of those.
991
01:15:18,705 --> 01:15:20,683
The moments that got me down,
the ones that kept me going.
992
01:15:20,707 --> 01:15:22,100
Everything, leading up 'til now.
993
01:15:25,451 --> 01:15:26,651
Sounds like a lot of triggers.
994
01:15:27,932 --> 01:15:29,716
When you're done,
995
01:15:29,847 --> 01:15:30,804
stick 'em on that wall.
996
01:15:46,864 --> 01:15:48,144
What happened when
you were born?
997
01:15:50,041 --> 01:15:51,303
I tried to kill myself.
998
01:15:52,609 --> 01:15:54,001
There you go.
999
01:15:54,088 --> 01:15:55,176
Start from the beginning.
1000
01:16:04,272 --> 01:16:05,883
[deep inhale]
1001
01:16:06,013 --> 01:16:08,625
[Chama] Cord wrapped
around my neck.
1002
01:16:08,712 --> 01:16:10,322
It was my first struggle.
1003
01:16:10,453 --> 01:16:13,369
[intense music plays]
1004
01:16:17,547 --> 01:16:18,461
This world.
1005
01:16:20,288 --> 01:16:21,377
School.
1006
01:16:21,507 --> 01:16:23,553
I failed.
1007
01:16:23,683 --> 01:16:26,382
If I can fix cars
I can fix anything.
1008
01:16:30,473 --> 01:16:33,476
My mother's new boyfriend.
1009
01:16:33,563 --> 01:16:35,521
- My new boyfriend.
- [panting]
1010
01:16:35,608 --> 01:16:38,568
He called me beautiful, ugly.
1011
01:16:38,698 --> 01:16:39,978
[Santi] Look at
this place, mija.
1012
01:16:40,091 --> 01:16:41,701
[Chama] [indistinct]
1013
01:16:41,832 --> 01:16:43,232
[Santi] This is
what you dreamed of.
1014
01:16:43,311 --> 01:16:44,550
[Mari] You gave me
no fucking choice
1015
01:16:44,574 --> 01:16:45,594
and you have to live with it!
1016
01:16:45,618 --> 01:16:46,793
You did this, Elena.
1017
01:16:46,924 --> 01:16:48,665
[Chama] Transforming.
1018
01:16:49,187 --> 01:16:50,427
[Santi] Shut your
fucking mouth.
1019
01:16:51,537 --> 01:16:53,670
[Chama] Santi. A dealer.
1020
01:16:54,758 --> 01:16:56,629
My first kiss.
1021
01:16:56,760 --> 01:16:58,849
Curious.[indistinct]
1022
01:17:01,112 --> 01:17:04,550
[indistinct ruminating]
1023
01:17:06,813 --> 01:17:09,512
[Chama] Play the same
song over and over.
1024
01:17:09,642 --> 01:17:11,383
I stuck a needle in my veins.
1025
01:17:11,514 --> 01:17:13,429
My sister listened to me.
1026
01:17:13,559 --> 01:17:15,387
My sister wouldn't
ask if I came home.
1027
01:17:15,518 --> 01:17:17,476
Abuelo used to say
1028
01:17:17,563 --> 01:17:18,923
that if you find
a black feather...
1029
01:17:19,957 --> 01:17:21,219
it's a warning.
1030
01:17:24,701 --> 01:17:26,661
[woman] Come on, come on,
we don't have much time.
1031
01:17:32,665 --> 01:17:33,971
[Chama] I love you.
1032
01:17:34,101 --> 01:17:36,495
I love you, I love you.
1033
01:17:36,626 --> 01:17:39,237
[indistinct ruminating]
1034
01:17:48,202 --> 01:17:50,596
- [Santi grunts]
- [screaming]
1035
01:17:50,727 --> 01:17:52,337
[Toaster] Where are
you going, Chama?
1036
01:17:52,990 --> 01:17:54,295
You broke it!
1037
01:17:57,255 --> 01:17:59,779
[Chama] I am my
mother's lost sisters.
1038
01:17:59,866 --> 01:18:02,956
[indistinct,
overlapping ruminating]
1039
01:18:06,656 --> 01:18:08,266
- The dealer.
- [car horn honks]
1040
01:18:13,401 --> 01:18:14,359
Scared.
1041
01:18:17,449 --> 01:18:19,930
[serene music plays]
1042
01:18:26,197 --> 01:18:27,372
Always felt like home here.
1043
01:18:28,547 --> 01:18:30,810
- The river.
- It's dirty.
1044
01:18:30,941 --> 01:18:32,541
Half the time it
doesn't even have water.
1045
01:18:36,381 --> 01:18:38,122
You find what it is
you were looking for?
1046
01:18:38,252 --> 01:18:40,211
- Don't be like that.
- Like what, Chama?
1047
01:18:41,125 --> 01:18:41,995
Like your mother?
1048
01:18:42,996 --> 01:18:43,916
What else have you got?
1049
01:18:53,093 --> 01:18:55,139
Your Abuelo used to say,
"I don't need a watch...
1050
01:18:55,269 --> 01:18:56,357
I got the river."
1051
01:19:05,889 --> 01:19:06,716
If you leave...
1052
01:19:08,369 --> 01:19:09,849
I don't ever want
to see you again.
1053
01:19:13,418 --> 01:19:15,338
[Chama] I wish I would've
put my arms around you.
1054
01:19:16,247 --> 01:19:17,248
One last time.
1055
01:19:19,206 --> 01:19:22,079
I wish I would have
held you, felt you,
1056
01:19:22,209 --> 01:19:24,255
smelled that lipstick.
1057
01:19:24,385 --> 01:19:26,866
I wish I would have been
home when they found you.
1058
01:19:26,997 --> 01:19:28,694
I hated you.
1059
01:19:28,825 --> 01:19:30,740
I blamed you.
1060
01:19:30,870 --> 01:19:32,470
I skipped your funeral
and Mari hated me.
1061
01:19:35,483 --> 01:19:37,703
But I pretend in
that last moment...
1062
01:19:39,226 --> 01:19:41,402
you saw something beautiful.
1063
01:20:08,168 --> 01:20:09,248
[Nell] I used to be married.
1064
01:20:11,171 --> 01:20:12,771
He's famous, I can't
tell you who it was.
1065
01:20:14,261 --> 01:20:15,611
[Chama] Okay.
1066
01:20:17,221 --> 01:20:18,657
I was independent though.
1067
01:20:19,310 --> 01:20:21,181
Yeah, I loved to work.
1068
01:20:21,312 --> 01:20:24,097
I ran five restaurants.
1069
01:20:24,184 --> 01:20:27,144
I mean, most people
only, like, oversee one.
1070
01:20:27,274 --> 01:20:28,624
Wanna know how many I ran?
1071
01:20:30,364 --> 01:20:31,801
- [Chama] Five?
- Five!
1072
01:20:32,976 --> 01:20:35,500
Yeah, they respected me.
1073
01:20:35,631 --> 01:20:36,936
You know, like...
1074
01:20:37,850 --> 01:20:39,250
I wasn't a bitch
to them or anything
1075
01:20:39,373 --> 01:20:41,549
if that's what you're thinking,
1076
01:20:41,680 --> 01:20:42,638
but I was the boss.
1077
01:20:44,204 --> 01:20:45,747
You should see the
way they looked at me
1078
01:20:45,771 --> 01:20:46,931
when I walked into a Chili's.
1079
01:20:48,382 --> 01:20:50,167
[Chama] Nell likes to talk.
1080
01:20:50,297 --> 01:20:52,386
- [Nell speaking indistinctly]
- [Chama] A lot.
1081
01:20:52,517 --> 01:20:54,911
She says she first
tried heroin at age ten.
1082
01:20:55,041 --> 01:20:57,130
Given to her by a neighbor.
1083
01:20:57,217 --> 01:21:00,525
She told her father, who
went to her and beat her.
1084
01:21:00,656 --> 01:21:02,503
She started cutting her
knuckles in high school,
1085
01:21:02,527 --> 01:21:04,616
but her sister found out
and threw away the razors.
1086
01:21:06,836 --> 01:21:09,142
All her friends worked
at a local Chili's.
1087
01:21:09,273 --> 01:21:11,362
Nell claims she did, too.
1088
01:21:11,492 --> 01:21:14,887
She goes on and on
and on about it.
1089
01:21:15,018 --> 01:21:16,976
I just want to scrub
a toilet in peace.
1090
01:21:17,107 --> 01:21:18,761
Yeah, I don't
really like Chili's.
1091
01:21:20,806 --> 01:21:22,112
Oh, you're one of those...
1092
01:21:23,287 --> 01:21:24,680
Applebee's motherfuckers?
1093
01:21:26,769 --> 01:21:27,683
[Nell chuckles]
1094
01:21:31,251 --> 01:21:34,080
Anyways I was doing
really well, you know?
1095
01:21:34,211 --> 01:21:35,342
My husband was like...
1096
01:21:35,473 --> 01:21:37,518
[rhythmic vibration]
1097
01:21:50,618 --> 01:21:51,924
[snoring]
1098
01:21:52,055 --> 01:21:54,840
[rhythmic vibration continues]
1099
01:22:12,815 --> 01:22:13,729
[snoring]
1100
01:22:35,228 --> 01:22:37,100
Okay, let's check in.
1101
01:22:39,276 --> 01:22:40,596
It's a cloudy day
out there today.
1102
01:22:42,192 --> 01:22:43,552
What's that make
everyone think of?
1103
01:22:49,416 --> 01:22:52,768
[siren wailing in distance]
1104
01:22:58,251 --> 01:22:59,122
Rain.
1105
01:23:01,385 --> 01:23:03,265
Makes me think of my son
playing in the puddles.
1106
01:23:04,823 --> 01:23:05,781
[Lucy] Sweaters.
1107
01:23:07,870 --> 01:23:09,785
I hate t-shirts and short pants.
1108
01:23:15,399 --> 01:23:16,574
How about you, Gata?
1109
01:23:18,228 --> 01:23:19,098
Go fuck yourself.
1110
01:23:22,145 --> 01:23:23,585
That's what my ma
used to always say.
1111
01:23:25,801 --> 01:23:26,802
Clouds remind me of her.
1112
01:23:29,239 --> 01:23:30,239
Every time I'd mess up...
1113
01:23:31,415 --> 01:23:33,504
like, when she'd
catch me slipping.
1114
01:23:34,940 --> 01:23:35,811
"Great...
1115
01:23:36,899 --> 01:23:38,074
go fuck yourself, Gata."
1116
01:23:39,466 --> 01:23:41,338
First time I came here,
1117
01:23:41,468 --> 01:23:44,167
- Nick suggested that I say...
- Go love yourself.
1118
01:23:44,994 --> 01:23:46,647
Yeah, so now...
1119
01:23:48,519 --> 01:23:49,825
when I think about my ma...
1120
01:23:51,522 --> 01:23:52,653
it's like...
1121
01:23:55,134 --> 01:23:56,179
Go love yourself, Gata.
1122
01:24:00,096 --> 01:24:01,619
Go love yourself back.
1123
01:24:14,110 --> 01:24:15,154
[Nick sighs]
1124
01:24:23,249 --> 01:24:24,163
Ow!
1125
01:24:27,993 --> 01:24:29,865
[car horns honking]
1126
01:24:34,608 --> 01:24:36,567
Well, I did it,
because I wanted to.
1127
01:24:37,829 --> 01:24:38,743
Um...
1128
01:24:40,484 --> 01:24:43,879
I climbed out of the
second story window
1129
01:24:44,009 --> 01:24:47,186
at my parents' house
and, um, I jumped.
1130
01:24:47,317 --> 01:24:49,972
[chuckles] Probably
broke, like, two bones.
1131
01:24:50,842 --> 01:24:53,192
[clears throat] But,
you know, he was...
1132
01:24:54,541 --> 01:24:56,326
He was older, uh...
1133
01:24:58,110 --> 01:25:00,896
he liked me, uh,
everyone liked me.
1134
01:25:02,114 --> 01:25:02,898
[chuckles]
1135
01:25:04,725 --> 01:25:07,467
And, um, I wanted to see him.
1136
01:25:08,338 --> 01:25:12,081
So, yeah, we got a
little strung out...
1137
01:25:15,301 --> 01:25:16,215
and, uh...
1138
01:25:18,783 --> 01:25:19,915
well, I woke up in a trailer
1139
01:25:20,045 --> 01:25:21,786
with four men...
1140
01:25:23,527 --> 01:25:24,354
that I didn't know.
1141
01:25:26,660 --> 01:25:28,445
I don't even think
they knew my name.
1142
01:25:28,575 --> 01:25:30,360
[Nell laughs]
1143
01:25:31,448 --> 01:25:34,494
I had to take Clonazepam,
so I wouldn't get seizures.
1144
01:25:35,408 --> 01:25:37,088
But one night after my
husband got rough...
1145
01:25:38,368 --> 01:25:39,760
I took too many and OD'd.
1146
01:25:41,023 --> 01:25:43,025
This spark plug is fried.
1147
01:25:43,939 --> 01:25:45,459
[Gata] I got arrested
in middle school.
1148
01:25:47,072 --> 01:25:48,421
Sent to Las Nunes.
1149
01:25:48,944 --> 01:25:50,249
He ordered a youth diagnostic.
1150
01:25:51,337 --> 01:25:53,035
I spent Christmas in jail.
1151
01:25:53,165 --> 01:25:54,445
When I got out of
the hospital...
1152
01:25:55,472 --> 01:25:56,429
the doctor...
1153
01:25:57,517 --> 01:25:59,258
prescribed me Clonazepam.
1154
01:25:59,606 --> 01:26:01,043
[Gata] But I liked jail.
1155
01:26:01,869 --> 01:26:03,149
No one was gonna
molest me there.
1156
01:26:05,134 --> 01:26:07,294
[Shorty] People always ask
what's your favorite number.
1157
01:26:08,050 --> 01:26:09,834
I always thought that
was a dumbass question.
1158
01:26:10,530 --> 01:26:11,792
Favorite color I get...
1159
01:26:12,837 --> 01:26:14,380
but it's not like you're
gonna decorate your house
1160
01:26:14,404 --> 01:26:15,284
in multiples of seven.
1161
01:26:17,102 --> 01:26:18,799
But I'm a survivor of suicide.
1162
01:26:20,540 --> 01:26:22,151
I tried to kill
myself eight times.
1163
01:26:24,240 --> 01:26:25,520
I know I won't live to see nine.
1164
01:26:26,546 --> 01:26:27,808
So eight.
1165
01:26:28,766 --> 01:26:30,202
That's my favorite.
1166
01:26:30,333 --> 01:26:32,291
Okay. Should be good.
1167
01:26:36,382 --> 01:26:38,297
- [hood slams shut]
- Wow, nice.
1168
01:26:39,472 --> 01:26:40,386
Thanks.
1169
01:26:40,560 --> 01:26:45,478
♪
1170
01:26:47,437 --> 01:26:50,396
[whispering indistinctly]
1171
01:26:50,570 --> 01:26:55,488
♪
1172
01:27:07,500 --> 01:27:10,155
[Chama] I've already been
transferred six times.
1173
01:27:10,242 --> 01:27:11,522
Does anyone actually work there?
1174
01:27:14,290 --> 01:27:15,160
Hello?
1175
01:27:24,082 --> 01:27:25,040
Coke?
1176
01:27:27,738 --> 01:27:29,131
Mostly opiates.
1177
01:27:31,220 --> 01:27:34,353
Mm, no, do you want a Coke?
1178
01:27:37,443 --> 01:27:39,184
- Yeah, Sprite.
- Okay.
1179
01:27:42,231 --> 01:27:44,059
[cans opening]
1180
01:27:46,626 --> 01:27:48,324
[slurping]
1181
01:28:00,118 --> 01:28:01,250
I never worked at Chili's.
1182
01:28:04,079 --> 01:28:05,080
[chuckles]
1183
01:28:06,342 --> 01:28:07,256
They wouldn't hire me.
1184
01:28:13,740 --> 01:28:15,264
Maybe you should have
tried Applebee's.
1185
01:28:20,182 --> 01:28:21,096
[chuckling]
1186
01:28:36,198 --> 01:28:38,983
[rhythmic vibration]
1187
01:29:05,923 --> 01:29:07,683
He was a penguin, but he
was cold all the time,
1188
01:29:07,707 --> 01:29:09,231
so he wore a hat
1189
01:29:09,361 --> 01:29:11,146
and a little muffler
around his neck.
1190
01:29:11,668 --> 01:29:13,148
- Nobody?
- [chuckling]
1191
01:29:15,454 --> 01:29:16,692
I don't really know what's
going on with my head.
1192
01:29:16,716 --> 01:29:18,762
- I don't know.
- Okay.
1193
01:29:18,892 --> 01:29:19,980
All right, we're starting.
1194
01:29:22,331 --> 01:29:23,636
- Where's Nell at?
- [Nick sighs]
1195
01:29:24,550 --> 01:29:25,638
She left.
1196
01:29:26,596 --> 01:29:27,597
And if she left...
1197
01:29:33,211 --> 01:29:35,996
- [phone hangs]
- [dialing]
1198
01:29:37,172 --> 01:29:39,870
[phone ringing]
1199
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:42,351
[operator] Please hang up
and try your call again.
1200
01:29:45,919 --> 01:29:47,356
I've called CPS a million times,
1201
01:29:47,486 --> 01:29:49,184
and all I get is the run around.
1202
01:29:49,314 --> 01:29:51,011
- [Nick] They're busy.
- Whose side you on?
1203
01:29:53,971 --> 01:29:55,625
They won't even let
me see her, Nick.
1204
01:29:55,755 --> 01:29:56,887
I gotta see her.
1205
01:29:57,757 --> 01:29:58,671
You will.
1206
01:30:01,544 --> 01:30:03,894
- [phone hangs]
- [dialing]
1207
01:30:09,552 --> 01:30:11,554
[phone ringing]
1208
01:30:15,732 --> 01:30:18,300
Hey, it's me. Don't hang up.
1209
01:30:19,388 --> 01:30:21,955
[Mrs. Dyer] If you check out,
you come back by 8:00 PM.
1210
01:30:22,042 --> 01:30:24,828
If you come back by 8:00
PM, you take a test.
1211
01:30:24,958 --> 01:30:27,265
Anything you bring
back will be searched.
1212
01:30:27,396 --> 01:30:29,093
Anything on the list
will be confiscated.
1213
01:30:29,963 --> 01:30:31,443
That includes mouthwash.
1214
01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:34,185
Don't think we're not
wise on mouthwash.
1215
01:30:39,016 --> 01:30:41,236
- [birds chirping]
- [door clicks open]
1216
01:30:43,325 --> 01:30:46,241
- [engine roars]
- [door clicks closed]
1217
01:30:53,422 --> 01:30:55,511
[serene music plays]
1218
01:30:55,598 --> 01:31:00,559
♪
1219
01:31:08,437 --> 01:31:11,135
[siren wailing in distance]
1220
01:31:19,926 --> 01:31:21,232
[bell rings]
1221
01:31:23,713 --> 01:31:24,583
We're closed.
1222
01:31:25,497 --> 01:31:26,411
That's okay.
1223
01:31:28,500 --> 01:31:29,632
I don't got any money.
1224
01:31:30,763 --> 01:31:31,895
I have somewhere to be.
1225
01:31:32,591 --> 01:31:33,742
Can't get caught up
in you right now.
1226
01:31:33,766 --> 01:31:35,159
I'm not in any trouble.
1227
01:31:36,508 --> 01:31:38,597
Well, you know what I mean.
1228
01:31:42,514 --> 01:31:44,154
I heard you've been
checking up on Nevaeh.
1229
01:31:45,952 --> 01:31:48,520
Yeah. I understand.
1230
01:31:49,565 --> 01:31:51,393
You're incognizant,
you don't give a shit.
1231
01:31:52,568 --> 01:31:54,448
I have enough of my own
problems to worry about.
1232
01:31:57,790 --> 01:31:59,009
I can't be your broken record.
1233
01:32:07,931 --> 01:32:09,019
[keys jingling]
1234
01:32:15,895 --> 01:32:17,332
Mari.
1235
01:32:26,036 --> 01:32:27,211
I got shoes on.
1236
01:32:43,358 --> 01:32:46,143
[engine roars]
1237
01:32:50,756 --> 01:32:52,236
[Chama] I keep
thinking about Toaster.
1238
01:32:53,498 --> 01:32:54,369
What she told me.
1239
01:32:56,153 --> 01:32:58,198
We gotta fight until
we fucking win.
1240
01:33:00,462 --> 01:33:02,377
[bus hissing]
1241
01:33:06,772 --> 01:33:08,600
[distorted music plays]
1242
01:33:08,687 --> 01:33:13,562
♪
1243
01:33:23,528 --> 01:33:25,835
[engine roars]
1244
01:33:25,965 --> 01:33:27,706
[Gata] Don't look
at me like that.
1245
01:33:27,837 --> 01:33:29,292
[Shorty] She's taking
a shit. She'll be...
1246
01:33:29,316 --> 01:33:31,144
Where are you taking
us Nick? Disneyland?
1247
01:33:31,275 --> 01:33:33,451
Yeah, right, I bet he's gonna
take us to an NA meeting.
1248
01:33:33,582 --> 01:33:34,689
[Lucy] Yeah, I'd
be down for that.
1249
01:33:34,713 --> 01:33:36,019
[Shorty] Come on.
1250
01:33:36,802 --> 01:33:38,084
- Let's go to Splash Mountain.
- [Lucy] Yep, yep!
1251
01:33:38,108 --> 01:33:39,805
Come on, Gata. Smile for me.
1252
01:33:40,371 --> 01:33:42,678
Here's your smile, Shorty.
1253
01:33:42,808 --> 01:33:44,569
[Shorty] Don't be like that.
Just one. Don't be like that!
1254
01:33:44,593 --> 01:33:46,377
All right. Everybody in.
1255
01:33:46,508 --> 01:33:47,708
[Shorty] Hey,
what about Chama?
1256
01:33:47,813 --> 01:33:48,973
[Gata] Yeah, where's Chama at?
1257
01:33:49,249 --> 01:33:50,294
[car door slams shut]
1258
01:33:55,952 --> 01:33:57,232
[Lucy] It's fucking hot in here.
1259
01:33:59,608 --> 01:34:00,528
[Shorty] Come on, girl.
1260
01:34:04,569 --> 01:34:05,918
[Chama] I like the
sun on my face.
1261
01:34:09,748 --> 01:34:12,316
It calms the
pounding in my chest.
1262
01:34:13,752 --> 01:34:14,927
I wonder where we're going.
1263
01:34:18,017 --> 01:34:20,803
If Nick really gets it.
1264
01:34:20,933 --> 01:34:22,935
I told him the truth.
1265
01:34:23,066 --> 01:34:25,460
About the doctor.
That I'm scared.
1266
01:34:25,634 --> 01:34:30,552
♪
1267
01:34:37,036 --> 01:34:38,821
The sun feels bright on my face.
1268
01:34:56,229 --> 01:34:57,317
[car door clattering]
1269
01:35:00,538 --> 01:35:02,409
Take this over Magic Kingdom.
1270
01:35:02,540 --> 01:35:04,324
Damn, this shit's no joke.
1271
01:35:08,111 --> 01:35:08,981
Come on, Lucy.
1272
01:35:12,898 --> 01:35:13,943
[car door slams shut]
1273
01:35:14,073 --> 01:35:16,511
[wind whooshing]
1274
01:35:48,412 --> 01:35:50,545
There are thousands of
women that can't have kids.
1275
01:35:54,244 --> 01:35:55,550
And God's got jokes.
1276
01:36:00,685 --> 01:36:01,556
You want this baby?
1277
01:36:08,954 --> 01:36:10,565
But I don't deserve
either of them.
1278
01:36:18,137 --> 01:36:20,009
My first boyfriend
ended in assault.
1279
01:36:23,186 --> 01:36:24,274
Yeah, uh...
1280
01:36:26,842 --> 01:36:27,930
I wasn't the victim.
1281
01:36:35,502 --> 01:36:36,460
I was 18.
1282
01:36:37,548 --> 01:36:38,462
High.
1283
01:36:40,682 --> 01:36:42,727
Made a terrible decision,
1284
01:36:42,858 --> 01:36:45,730
ended up hurting the one
person that I truly loved.
1285
01:36:52,171 --> 01:36:54,478
Spent some time locked
up, hating myself.
1286
01:36:56,132 --> 01:36:57,612
Yeah, that never
really goes away.
1287
01:37:01,790 --> 01:37:05,228
But if you can turn guilt,
1288
01:37:05,358 --> 01:37:06,882
hate into something else...
1289
01:37:12,278 --> 01:37:14,324
you can do something
for the world
1290
01:37:14,454 --> 01:37:16,718
that's beyond yourself.
1291
01:37:16,805 --> 01:37:19,111
[wind whooshing]
1292
01:37:27,163 --> 01:37:28,468
We're at the bottom of a hill.
1293
01:37:30,296 --> 01:37:31,471
Can you climb?
1294
01:37:36,259 --> 01:37:38,783
[crickets chirping]
1295
01:37:51,970 --> 01:37:52,971
[knocking on door]
1296
01:37:55,147 --> 01:37:57,541
- [door clicks open]
- [upbeat rock music plays]
1297
01:38:03,939 --> 01:38:05,680
[serene music plays]
1298
01:38:05,854 --> 01:38:10,467
♪
1299
01:38:42,064 --> 01:38:44,588
[indiscernible whispering]
1300
01:38:52,857 --> 01:38:53,945
[screaming]
1301
01:38:54,032 --> 01:38:55,991
[whispering continues]
1302
01:39:01,692 --> 01:39:03,215
[sighs]
1303
01:39:03,346 --> 01:39:06,218
[whispering continues]
1304
01:39:06,305 --> 01:39:06,966
♪
1305
01:39:21,146 --> 01:39:23,758
[panting]
1306
01:39:32,679 --> 01:39:34,943
[both panting]
1307
01:39:44,082 --> 01:39:44,953
The 15th.
1308
01:39:47,216 --> 01:39:48,086
Next Friday.
1309
01:39:51,046 --> 01:39:52,240
You'll get to see your daughter.
1310
01:39:52,264 --> 01:39:55,050
[both panting]
1311
01:40:07,889 --> 01:40:10,805
[shouting]
1312
01:40:11,980 --> 01:40:14,983
[Gata panting]
1313
01:40:29,388 --> 01:40:30,999
[Chama] My name
isn't really Chama.
1314
01:40:34,306 --> 01:40:37,135
I saw this postcard once
of a mother and daughter
1315
01:40:37,266 --> 01:40:39,268
standing outside
Chama, New Mexico.
1316
01:40:41,183 --> 01:40:42,837
I wanted to live
in that postcard.
1317
01:40:47,972 --> 01:40:48,843
I talk to my mom.
1318
01:40:51,584 --> 01:40:52,672
And tell her things...
1319
01:40:54,065 --> 01:40:55,240
but not in real life...
1320
01:40:56,111 --> 01:40:57,852
because this reality
took her away.
1321
01:41:02,160 --> 01:41:04,380
I talk to her,
because I got to try
1322
01:41:04,510 --> 01:41:05,990
to understand my scars...
1323
01:41:08,079 --> 01:41:09,733
and not just pick at my scabs.
1324
01:41:18,437 --> 01:41:19,717
I've been through a lot of shit.
1325
01:41:22,441 --> 01:41:24,052
I've put people through...
1326
01:41:25,488 --> 01:41:26,663
a lot more.
1327
01:41:29,535 --> 01:41:30,667
It's not fair.
1328
01:41:33,670 --> 01:41:34,889
But like Nick says...
1329
01:41:36,978 --> 01:41:37,892
"Nothing is fair...
1330
01:41:39,284 --> 01:41:40,155
nothing is normal."
1331
01:41:45,638 --> 01:41:46,726
What have I done?
1332
01:41:50,426 --> 01:41:51,383
What am I doing?
1333
01:41:54,952 --> 01:41:56,040
If I'm not Chama, then...
1334
01:41:59,174 --> 01:42:00,262
who am I?
1335
01:42:00,784 --> 01:42:02,917
[wind whooshing]
1336
01:42:15,364 --> 01:42:16,191
I'm an addict.
1337
01:42:21,109 --> 01:42:22,389
I've slept on the
streets, but...
1338
01:42:24,199 --> 01:42:25,287
I'm not homeless.
1339
01:42:29,378 --> 01:42:31,032
I'm terrified.
1340
01:42:31,162 --> 01:42:33,425
[soft string instrumental plays]
1341
01:42:37,560 --> 01:42:38,648
We need help.
1342
01:42:40,911 --> 01:42:41,781
I will help.
1343
01:42:41,956 --> 01:42:47,091
♪
1344
01:42:53,532 --> 01:42:54,446
I'm here...
1345
01:42:55,621 --> 01:42:56,796
and I will be a mother.
1346
01:42:59,408 --> 01:43:00,235
I am a mother.
1347
01:43:00,409 --> 01:43:05,414
♪
1348
01:43:19,341 --> 01:43:21,256
[door creaks open]
1349
01:43:21,386 --> 01:43:23,998
[serene music plays]
1350
01:43:24,085 --> 01:43:29,003
♪
1351
01:43:42,103 --> 01:43:45,019
[sobbing]
1352
01:43:53,244 --> 01:43:54,245
[sniffs]
1353
01:43:54,332 --> 01:43:59,207
♪
1354
01:44:13,134 --> 01:44:14,352
[soft music plays]
1355
01:44:14,526 --> 01:44:19,488
♪
1356
01:44:19,618 --> 01:44:21,055
[sighs]
1357
01:44:47,385 --> 01:44:50,258
[bus engine winds down]
1358
01:44:53,652 --> 01:44:55,045
[bus doors open]
1359
01:44:55,176 --> 01:44:58,092
[engine revs]
1360
01:45:05,055 --> 01:45:08,580
[music intensifies]
1361
01:45:27,208 --> 01:45:31,342
[singing in Spanish]
1362
01:45:31,516 --> 01:45:36,478
♪
1363
01:46:02,982 --> 01:46:06,769
♪ Flower of the flowers
flowers from above ♪
1364
01:46:06,943 --> 01:46:11,339
♪ Today and forever,
know you have my love ♪
1365
01:46:11,513 --> 01:46:15,386
♪ Flower of the flowers
flowers from above ♪
1366
01:46:15,560 --> 01:46:19,564
♪ Today and forever,
know you have my love ♪
1367
01:46:19,695 --> 01:46:21,436
[singing in Spanish]
1368
01:46:21,610 --> 01:46:26,615
♪
1369
01:47:33,203 --> 01:47:35,203
- [woman] Love you, Peggy.
- [girl] Love you, Mama.
1370
01:47:36,815 --> 01:47:39,731
["I Remember You"
by Weedrat plays]
1371
01:47:49,611 --> 01:47:54,355
♪ You came into my life ♪
1372
01:47:56,052 --> 01:48:01,057
♪ [indistinct lyrics] ♪
1373
01:48:02,667 --> 01:48:07,846
♪ Like you've always been ♪
1374
01:48:08,020 --> 01:48:13,069
♪ By my side ♪
1375
01:48:15,680 --> 01:48:22,034
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1376
01:48:22,208 --> 01:48:27,779
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1377
01:48:27,953 --> 01:48:33,307
♪ All right ♪
1378
01:48:34,438 --> 01:48:39,313
♪ All right ♪
1379
01:48:42,751 --> 01:48:46,798
♪ Came into my life ♪
1380
01:48:48,800 --> 01:48:55,416
♪ And it became clear to me ♪
1381
01:48:55,503 --> 01:49:00,377
♪ Like you've always been ♪
1382
01:49:00,551 --> 01:49:05,687
♪ By my side ♪
1383
01:49:08,516 --> 01:49:14,957
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1384
01:49:15,131 --> 01:49:20,615
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1385
01:49:20,702 --> 01:49:25,489
♪ All right ♪
1386
01:49:27,491 --> 01:49:30,625
♪ All right ♪
1387
01:49:30,799 --> 01:49:35,717
♪
1388
01:50:00,829 --> 01:50:06,269
♪ You came into my life ♪
1389
01:50:07,923 --> 01:50:14,495
♪ And it became clear to me ♪
1390
01:50:14,669 --> 01:50:20,631
♪ That you'd always be ♪
1391
01:50:20,805 --> 01:50:26,202
♪ By my side ♪
1392
01:50:28,813 --> 01:50:35,429
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1393
01:50:35,603 --> 01:50:40,912
♪ I remember you
I remember you ♪
1394
01:50:41,086 --> 01:50:46,135
♪ All right ♪
1395
01:50:48,137 --> 01:50:52,446
♪ All right ♪
1396
01:50:54,926 --> 01:50:59,540
♪ All right ♪
1397
01:51:06,982 --> 01:51:08,897
[music ends]
93369
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