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1
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:04,354
We've only just begun
2
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:11,070
Before the rising sun
3
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:16,200
We've only just begun
4
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,368
Day by day
5
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,873
Together, together
6
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:25,959
Going together just the two of us
7
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,337
Ah.
8
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,316
No! What is that?
9
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,907
Aah! Come on, come on!
10
00:01:58,409 --> 00:01:59,868
Come on.
11
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,832
I remember the day that we met
12
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:07,334
I needed someone
You needed someone too
13
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:08,502
Shut up!
14
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,171
Stop it!
15
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,802
Shut up!
16
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,306
Oh.
17
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,780
Kiss. The devil's music.
18
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:43,245
You say you wanna go for a spin
19
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,748
The party's just begun, we'll let you in
20
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,877
You drive us wild
We'll drive you
21
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,879
Crazy
22
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:57,259
You keep on shouting
You keep on shouting
23
00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,094
I can't fucking hear you!
24
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,933
I wanna rock and roll all night
25
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,811
And party every day
26
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,997
You keep on shouting
You keep on shouting
27
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,500
- What?
- Give it to me, baby!
28
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,963
I wanna rock and roll all night
29
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,423
Let's party!
30
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,091
And party every day
31
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,052
Have a party, what a rush
32
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,845
I wanna rock until I die!
33
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,660
Thank you, Cleveland!
34
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:06,036
You've been a great crowd.
35
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,748
But after three and a half hours
of some kick-ass rock 'n' roll...
36
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,875
...and seven encores on top of that...
37
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:15,921
...I'm sorry to say that, uh,
we gotta get back to our hotel rooms...
38
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,464
...and fuck some groupies, so...
39
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,054
What are you doing, man? You put that...
40
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,640
You fucking asshole, man. That's my bass.
41
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,767
Just one more day of school...
42
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,145
...to get through, girls,
before tomorrow night.
43
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,857
Come on, Detroit, Michigan.
44
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:38,902
- You wanted the best!
- You got the best!
45
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,780
The hottest band in the world!
46
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,657
Kiss!
47
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,582
Who is it?
48
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,668
Shit, man, it's Jam's mom.
49
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:58,380
- What? It's my mom?
- Cover all this shit up, man.
50
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,424
Spray something. Smells like dope in here.
51
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,343
Just like Jam's mom to ruin the fucking party.
52
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,971
It smells in here, man.
53
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,978
Jeremiah, you get out here this instant.
54
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,065
- Hi, Mom.
- Now!
55
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,320
- What's up?
- The devil's body count, that's what's up.
56
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,989
Don't you know what Kiss stands for?
57
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:27,826
Knights In Satan's Service.
Where is Karen Carpenter?
58
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,828
- How would I know?
- Donny and Marie too?
59
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,205
Why would I have Donny and Marie?
60
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,416
Whoa, whoa. Unh!
61
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:37,127
I had a nightmare that bullshit
like this might happen.
62
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,379
If he misses Peter Criss' drum solo...
63
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,631
...he won't be able to continue
with his life.
64
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,467
Lex, quit jinxing us, man.
65
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,802
Nobody's missing that concert
tomorrow night.
66
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:30,263
They're larger-than-life
space-age comic book heroes...
67
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,350
...the most sensational phenomenon
of the past decade.
68
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,684
Their fans are fanatical.
69
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,979
Each fan has a favorite,
each one a fantasy.
70
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,110
Oh, my God.
71
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,530
The rock 'n' roll band Kiss is in town.
72
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:50,117
For some people,
that spells trouble with a capital T.
73
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:09,678
I shall resign the presidency
effective at noon tomorrow.
74
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,388
Kiss is hotter than hell.
75
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,807
The protesters are mainly religious groups.
76
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,767
Satan worship and drugs among our kids.
77
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,395
Each 12-and-a-half-inch figure sold separately.
78
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,130
No!
79
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,282
Hello?
80
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:15,577
- Jam.
- Hawk?
81
00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,746
Listen up.
We're in a bit of a quandary right now.
82
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,749
They're fucking gone.
83
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:23,793
- What's gone, man?
- What do you think, man? The Kiss tickets.
84
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,672
- Gone?
- Please tell me you have them, man.
85
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,342
- Why would I have the Kiss tickets?
- I don't know, man.
86
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,761
Just check whatever you were wearing
last night.
87
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,431
Now, man!
88
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,357
I got them, man.
89
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,067
Heh. He's got them.
90
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:49,402
I must have taken Trip's jacket by mistake.
91
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:52,906
- I'm really sorry about that.
- Oh, don't be such a wuss, Jam.
92
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:54,866
Are you grounded
because of last night?
93
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:58,912
Oh, yeah, but, uh, has that
ever stopped me before?
94
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,122
See you guys at school.
95
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,708
- Phew.
- Poor Jam, man.
96
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:08,296
Imagine having to stash your Kiss records
in Carly Simon album covers.
97
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,006
How shitty is that?
98
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,094
No question. Mrs. Bruce
is a psycho bitch from hell.
99
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,347
You're one to talk, Lex.
Your mom's a fucking dyke.
100
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,976
Just because she's a female gynecologist
doesn't mean she's a lesbian.
101
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:25,438
And even if she was, at least my mom
didn't give birth to me while she was on LSD.
102
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,648
Shrooms.
103
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:28,483
Will you guys quit the mom-bashing?
104
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:32,612
I mean, look. Look, Lex's mom is cool
because she lets us spend the night.
105
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,406
If it wasn't for your mom, Trip...
106
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,450
...we wouldn't have smoked
that fine Panama Red last night.
107
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:41,580
So leave the women who gave you life
out of it. They're both cool in my book.
108
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,206
Let's go.
109
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,546
- Trip, you asshole.
- What?
110
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,340
Man, you spilled the bong water
all over the bed.
111
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,842
Stupid son of a...
112
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,012
Come on.
113
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:58,930
Oh, my...
114
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,058
Jeremiah, it's time to go. Get...
115
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,352
What are you doing?
116
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:08,481
Just, uh, whew, getting a little sunshine.
117
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,192
You're gonna be late
if you don't hurry up and change.
118
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:12,986
Change?
119
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,156
What's, uh, wrong with the clothes
I wore last night?
120
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:18,617
It's dirty laundry, for one thing.
121
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,745
And another, you still haven't tried on
the clothes I bought you.
122
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:25,332
You're skating on thin ice already,
young man, so I wouldn't push my luck.
123
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:26,833
Now, get out of those rags.
124
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,251
Mom, it's...
125
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,545
And besides, those jeans are so tight.
126
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,714
I can see your penis.
127
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,591
Excuse me.
128
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,677
This jacket, it stinks of BO.
129
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,764
It's enough to make a person sick.
130
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,558
Now, remember,
I have my church meeting...
131
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:46,227
...so you'll be on the honor system tonight.
132
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:49,064
I'll be home a little after 1.
133
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:54,361
And if you've been partying
or playing that satanic Kiss music...
134
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,448
...need I remind you
of the consequences?
135
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,909
Uh...
136
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:03,370
Grounded for the rest of the year?
137
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:08,750
Oh, you are a smart boy, Jeremiah.
Put these on before they go out of style.
138
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,628
Come on, take it.
139
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:30,105
Man, school.
What a fucking waste of time, man.
140
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:33,274
I wish someone would tell these chicks
that disco's dead!
141
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,403
Don't stare too long, boys. You'll go blind.
142
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:37,612
Yeah, right.
143
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:42,951
Stellas. I hate Stellas almost
as much as I hate dogs, man.
144
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,787
Yeah, man. Same species
when you think about it.
145
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:56,631
Shit, man. That geek looks like Jam.
146
00:11:58,175 --> 00:12:00,009
Man, that geek is Jam.
147
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,803
Hey, dork!
148
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:12,105
Heh. So who did your wardrobe?
Tad the preppie sailboat captain?
149
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,983
Hey, man, my mom had me over a barrel,
all right?
150
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:18,111
After last night,
I had to let her dress me today.
151
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,072
- Give-and-take relationship.
- She gives shit and you take it.
152
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,408
Hey, hand over the tickets.
I wanna hold them.
153
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:24,701
The tickets?
154
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:29,539
- What?
- Well, there's a, uh, little, little problem.
155
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:33,585
- They're still at my house in Trip's jacket.
- What are you talking about?
156
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,879
She was standing over me
when I was changing.
157
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:39,674
- You are so pathetic.
- Man, that's some sick shit right there, man.
158
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,218
I mean, does she comb your ass hair
for you too?
159
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,846
If she even smells those tickets,
she'll destroy them.
160
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:47,474
We get fucked out of seeing Kiss
for the third year.
161
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,809
It's gonna be okay. Don't worry about it.
162
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,020
They're at my house.
They're perfectly safe.
163
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:55,315
We'll go there and pick them up.
My mom's not even gonna be there.
164
00:12:55,524 --> 00:13:00,153
Dudes, hours from now,
we're actually gonna be seeing Kiss.
165
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,697
All right, we'll just double-time it
to your house.
166
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,826
We'll grab the tickets, then we'll head
to the train station for the 3:45...
167
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,829
...to Detroit Rock City!
- Whoo!
168
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,039
God!
169
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:16,044
Well, as they say in the tampon biz,
see you next period.
170
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:23,259
Jerk.
171
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:46,741
- Oh.
- Heh. I'm sorry.
172
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,618
It's not a problem.
173
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,245
Thanks.
174
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,038
Fine.
175
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:01,798
- Hey, Beth.
- Yes?
176
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,928
- I'm so sorry.
- Mr. Bruce, Ms. Bumsteen...
177
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:08,638
...is there a problem?
178
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,724
Uh, no, there's no problem.
179
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,477
I'm so sorry.
180
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,854
Oh, don't worry about it.
181
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,695
- Jeremiah.
- Yeah?
182
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,239
I wanted to tell you something.
183
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:27,824
What?
184
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:33,663
I know we don't, uh, know each other
that well or anything, but...
185
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,164
- But what?
- Um...
186
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:42,881
Today is gonna be the last time I can...
187
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,799
I'm mov...
188
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,343
Jeremiah Bruce, please come to the office.
189
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,511
Ooh!
190
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,513
Jeremiah Bruce,
come to the office immediately.
191
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:54,392
Give me that microphone.
Jeremiah Bruce, this is your mother.
192
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,979
You are in big trouble, young man.
193
00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:01,649
What I found in the pocket
of that stinky, smelly jacket of yours...
194
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:05,862
...has me more than livid.
You get your little fanny out of that seat...
195
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,531
...and you meet me in the front office.
196
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,533
How dare you do this to me.
197
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,411
How dare you humiliate me
after I work so hard for you.
198
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,330
You take my hard-earned money...
199
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:20,835
...and you and your idiot friends
spend it on Kiss tickets?
200
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,503
Kiss tickets!
201
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,380
Kiss tickets!
202
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:48,696
Sit.
203
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:54,077
- Mom, you don't understand.
- Oh, I understand perfectly.
204
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,788
And so will Father Phillip McNulty.
205
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,458
You're sending me to boarding school?
206
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:01,918
What else can I do?
207
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:05,505
Records, magazines, comic books,
that's one thing.
208
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,882
But tickets. Tickets.
209
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:11,594
Do you realize what this means?
That you are no longer content...
210
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,181
...merely hearing their awful music
and looking at photos of their faces.
211
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:20,269
Now you wanna see the devil in the flesh.
You wanna reach out and touch pure evil.
212
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,146
And in Detroit, no less.
213
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,773
It's been a long time coming, Jeremiah.
214
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:10,111
But you are finally going to get
the kind of discipline that you deserve.
215
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,739
- But, Mom, you...
- Shut up.
216
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,880
I knew it. We're completely fucked.
217
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,092
For once, Lex is right.
Can't get any worse from here.
218
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:37,055
I hope you rodents have hall passes.
219
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:38,723
Fuck, it's Elvis.
220
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:44,979
Could that be three detentions I smell?
221
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:48,316
All right. Second floor, girls' bathroom.
He'll never find us there.
222
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,827
Fuck! Son of a bitch, man!
223
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,872
Take it easy, man.
This is the girls' crapper, remember?
224
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:08,377
Oh, wake up, Lex. We just watched Jam's mom
torch our fucking Kiss tickets, man.
225
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:12,548
Not REO Speedwagon, not Journey,
not the Bay City Rollers.
226
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,343
Kiss, man.
If you can think of a better reason...
227
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:18,888
...to trash a girls' bathroom,
I'd sure like to hear it.
228
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:21,933
What the fuck are you doing?
229
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:23,768
- This is school.
- So what?
230
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,357
We're clear, dudes.
231
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,070
Let's go.
232
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:39,450
- Shit. A skirt, a skirt.
- Oh, shit.
233
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,519
Sherry Van Hafton.
234
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:09,522
Shit, I've had the hots for her
since second grade.
235
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,533
Man, I've never heard a girl blow ass before.
236
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,424
- Get the fuck out of here, man!
- Sorry.
237
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,319
God forbid someday
you have a son like you, Jeremiah.
238
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,404
A boy who lies through his teeth...
239
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:02,158
...buys demonic records
and smokes the dope.
240
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,652
Sorry. Sorry.
241
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:46,786
Anyone up for an enema?
242
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,624
- Shit, man.
- Maybe some music will cheer us up.
243
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:58,297
This is Simple Simon on the rock of Detroit...
244
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:02,510
...home of the biggest Kiss giveaway
in the history of the universe!
245
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:06,430
I got four front-row tickets
along with four backstage passes...
246
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:09,642
...to the concert tonight at Cobo Hall.
247
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:14,855
And I'm giving them to the 106th caller
who can tell me the real names...
248
00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,858
...of each Kiss band member.
- Oh, shit.
249
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,237
Oh, no.
250
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:27,118
This is horseshit.
It's too bad we're stuck in this prison.
251
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,914
I got it.
252
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,712
Mr. Verudi, get back to your bench.
253
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:41,340
Mr. Johansen, I gotta take a leak
like you would not believe.
254
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,759
Put a clothespin on it till the end of class.
255
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:47,847
But, Mr. J, you know, ever since my doctor,
he put me on these salt pills...
256
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:49,849
Salt pills?
257
00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:51,726
Don't insult my intelligence, Verudi.
258
00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:56,355
Oh, man, I'm taking a leak in my pants.
259
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,946
- Yes.
- Get the hell out of here, Verudi.
260
00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:05,573
You disgust me.
261
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,716
I need to be connected
to the WURP contest line.
262
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,176
Now, lady, come on.
263
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,638
Oh, yeah, man!
264
00:22:33,226 --> 00:22:34,435
- I won!
- What?
265
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:36,729
We... We won!
266
00:22:36,938 --> 00:22:38,606
- We won!
- What?
267
00:22:38,815 --> 00:22:40,691
We're going to Detroit, baby!
268
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,026
- We're going?
- Yeah!
269
00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:43,736
Yeah!
270
00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:45,112
Yeah!
271
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,284
Man, this is the greatest thing
that ever happened to me in school.
272
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:53,412
Not only are we on for Kiss in Detroit...
273
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:57,041
...but we're gonna be sitting
front row center, man.
274
00:22:57,250 --> 00:23:00,252
Guys, guys, our band Mystery
is a quartet, right?
275
00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,630
We can't go on the road
without our drummer.
276
00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:05,549
Jam's mom said something
about taking him to St. Bernard's.
277
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,802
I say we go up there,
bust him out of there.
278
00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:09,887
Man, St. Bernard's is in the next county.
279
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:14,850
So? Your mom's car has a CB,
radar detector, cruise control, check.
280
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,520
We're not stealing my mom's car.
That's not happening.
281
00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:20,856
- Damn right we are, man.
- All I need is one ding on that Volvo...
282
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,609
...and I'm fucked when my mom gets back
from Cincinnati.
283
00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:25,861
She won't even know we touched it, Lex.
284
00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:28,781
If one thing happens to the car,
I'm blaming it on you.
285
00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:31,492
- Say you drugged me or something.
- I say we get out of here.
286
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,995
- Hold on. We're ditching school?
- About time, if you ask me.
287
00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:38,707
I'm just going through the motions
till I'm old enough to drop out anyway.
288
00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:40,876
Shit. Shit. Guys, Elvis alert.
289
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:45,756
I notice the trays match your outfits.
Did you plan that?
290
00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:51,637
Excuse me, ladies.
291
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,848
Ew! He stinks.
292
00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:26,172
Hey. Hey, I'm responsible for that.
293
00:24:51,406 --> 00:24:55,993
No!
294
00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:04,710
Pray hard, Jeremiah.
295
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,088
- God loves you.
- That he does.
296
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:11,717
God bless you, Father McNulty.
297
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,432
Jeremiah.
298
00:25:20,268 --> 00:25:23,312
Now, if you think that recklessness
and disobedience...
299
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:26,273
...can get you expelled, think again.
300
00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:30,277
Now, St. Bernard's may punish you
even for the slightest digression...
301
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:34,114
...but it'll never cast you out,
even for the largest.
302
00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:39,203
So here you are, Jeremiah. Here to stay.
303
00:26:11,069 --> 00:26:13,946
Yeah, man, come on.
Let's go bust him out, yeah.
304
00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:15,990
No, man. We can't just waltz in there.
305
00:26:16,366 --> 00:26:17,950
We gotta figure out a plan, man.
306
00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:25,708
The eagle's landed, you guys.
307
00:26:32,382 --> 00:26:35,801
You kids know
where Phillip McNutly's office is?
308
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:41,807
- Uh, you ordered a pizza?
- What's the damage, young man?
309
00:26:42,225 --> 00:26:43,934
Ten even.
310
00:26:45,186 --> 00:26:46,645
Oh.
311
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:53,861
If he offers you a slice,
you're not the least bit hungry.
312
00:26:55,363 --> 00:26:59,366
Ten dollars, and I'm donating
your tip to the church.
313
00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:03,037
- The Lord thanks you.
- Tell the big guy not to mention it.
314
00:27:03,246 --> 00:27:04,788
I am famished.
315
00:27:05,206 --> 00:27:08,000
Well, I hope you brought a lunch
for yourself.
316
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:10,711
Uh, no, but I'm not hungry anyway.
317
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,755
Oh, it finally speaks.
318
00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:15,716
Well, there's one barrier
we've broken through, huh?
319
00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:23,390
Mm. Mm. Oh.
320
00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:25,351
Your coming here reminds me...
321
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:28,312
...of the gospel parable of the prodigal son.
322
00:27:28,772 --> 00:27:30,689
Once, there was a man...
323
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:32,191
...and he had two sons.
324
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,319
And they both grew up on the farm
with him.
325
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,780
Um, one day...
326
00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:53,337
Ah.
327
00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:55,923
Oh.
328
00:27:56,716 --> 00:27:59,760
That was a very stale mushroom.
329
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:02,846
Well, where was I?
330
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:05,474
Man, come on, this is such a lousy view.
331
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,310
How the hell are we ever
supposed to know when he's lit?
332
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,313
It usually takes 10 minutes to half an hour.
333
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:12,648
All depends, you know?
334
00:28:18,279 --> 00:28:20,447
He's lit.
335
00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:29,373
I've been telling that sermon for years.
336
00:28:29,582 --> 00:28:31,583
This is the first time I've realized...
337
00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:35,546
...it's the work of some comedy mastermind.
338
00:28:36,005 --> 00:28:40,384
The prodigal son
is a barrel of fucking monkeys.
339
00:28:40,593 --> 00:28:43,470
Wait, wait, wait! You kids can't go in there.
340
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,974
No, no, no, it's okay.
We're old buds of Father McNulty's.
341
00:28:47,183 --> 00:28:48,434
How's it hanging, Padre?
342
00:28:48,643 --> 00:28:52,062
Whoa, I just heard you
talking through my nose.
343
00:28:52,772 --> 00:28:55,941
Is it possible my nose has eardrums?
344
00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:57,526
Nosedrums. Ha-ha-ha.
345
00:28:57,736 --> 00:29:01,530
Yeah. We're here
to take our friend Jam here...
346
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:05,868
...to the big satanic Kiss concert tonight
if that's okay with you?
347
00:29:06,244 --> 00:29:08,912
Satan? Satan? Santa.
348
00:29:09,122 --> 00:29:13,792
Hey. Whoa, they're the same letters.
They're the same guy.
349
00:29:14,210 --> 00:29:15,836
It's the same frigging guy.
350
00:29:16,045 --> 00:29:19,047
Hey, what the hell are you doing,
Sister Gonorrhea?
351
00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:20,883
Waiting for a bus? Ha-ha-ha.
352
00:29:46,409 --> 00:29:49,286
You'll still get rowdy with the girls and boys
353
00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:53,081
'Cause it's time for you
To take a stand, yeah, yeah
354
00:29:53,291 --> 00:29:55,000
Yeah, ooh
355
00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:57,836
Shout it, shout it
356
00:29:58,046 --> 00:29:59,880
Shout it out loud
357
00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:02,132
Yeah
You want a little party
358
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:05,302
Shout it, shout it
359
00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:07,471
Shout it out loud
360
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,390
Whoa, dudes, man.
361
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,227
I just had the killerest vision, man.
362
00:30:13,436 --> 00:30:17,689
Imagine Mystery opening up for Kiss, man.
363
00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:20,567
- Oh, that'd be fucking it.
- Yeah, man.
364
00:30:20,777 --> 00:30:22,861
It could happen, man. It could happen.
365
00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:27,157
You know, in '73,
Kiss was opening for Blue Öyster Cult.
366
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,535
One year later to the day, man...
367
00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:32,287
...Blue Öyster Cult was opening for Kiss.
368
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:36,291
We're not gonna be opening for anybody
until our singer gets over his stage fright.
369
00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:37,709
- God, man.
- Ha, ha.
370
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:39,753
I don't have fucking stage fright, Lex.
371
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:43,590
Yeah, then why'd you pass out on-stage
at Bing's party before the first song?
372
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,801
That was one show, man.
373
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:48,637
That was our only show,
and you dropped like a dead deer on us.
374
00:30:48,805 --> 00:30:50,347
Ha-ha-ha.
- Shut up.
375
00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:55,519
I'm solid gold
376
00:30:55,728 --> 00:30:57,271
I've got the goods
377
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,983
They stand when I walk
Through the neighborhoods
378
00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:03,110
I'm makin' it
379
00:31:03,319 --> 00:31:07,114
I've got the chance
I'm takin' it
380
00:31:07,323 --> 00:31:08,740
No more, no more
381
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,617
Fakin' it
382
00:31:10,827 --> 00:31:14,454
This time in life
I'm makin' it
383
00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:17,916
Makin' it
384
00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:20,752
Give me this pizza.
385
00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:25,090
- Come on, it's the last piece, man.
- Mine, all right?
386
00:31:27,677 --> 00:31:30,554
Fuck, man. Only a car full of
Stellas and Guidos...
387
00:31:30,763 --> 00:31:33,265
...would ride your ass
on a two-lane highway and honk.
388
00:31:33,766 --> 00:31:35,225
Oh, man.
389
00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:38,854
Listen everyone here
390
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:42,024
This coming year's gonna be my year
391
00:31:42,233 --> 00:31:43,734
I'm as bad as they come
392
00:31:43,943 --> 00:31:45,527
Number two to no one
393
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:47,446
I've got looks
I've got brains
394
00:31:47,655 --> 00:31:49,907
And I'm breakin' these chains
395
00:31:50,116 --> 00:31:54,703
Throw that shit out before it stains the up...
Man, get... Throw it out of the car, you asshole.
396
00:31:55,121 --> 00:31:57,205
Come on, man.
397
00:31:57,874 --> 00:31:59,625
I'm makin' it
398
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,714
- Oh, fuck, man.
- Oh, man.
399
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,300
Kenny, you asshole,
you just killed a bird.
400
00:32:08,509 --> 00:32:12,179
That's no bird.
That's a hunk of fucking cheese, Kenny.
401
00:32:12,388 --> 00:32:14,348
A hunk of fucking cheese?
402
00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:16,808
We just pissed off the Incredible Hulk...
403
00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:19,937
...his idiot half-brother
and his two circus clowns.
404
00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:22,356
I'm gonna fucking kill these bastards.
Know that?
405
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,487
Pull the fucking car over!
406
00:32:30,031 --> 00:32:32,699
- I'm gonna fucking... Pull over.
- No way, man.
407
00:32:32,909 --> 00:32:35,869
- You're dead!
- Suck my cock!
408
00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:37,788
Maybe we should pull over and apologize.
409
00:32:37,997 --> 00:32:39,790
This motherfucker's dead.
410
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:45,212
The paint.
411
00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:48,340
Fuck.
412
00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:51,385
Pull over.
413
00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:08,443
- Out of the car. Let's go.
- Oh, fuck.
414
00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:15,742
- Oh, shit. God... Oh, God.
- Kenny.
415
00:33:15,952 --> 00:33:17,077
No!
416
00:33:17,286 --> 00:33:20,706
- Oh, God. Oh, shit.
- Kenny.
417
00:33:20,915 --> 00:33:24,793
- Shit. Shit. Oh, God.
- That's not funny, Kenny.
418
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:31,633
- Kenny.
- That's not very nice, man.
419
00:33:31,801 --> 00:33:33,510
You're a complete asshole, Kenny.
420
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:37,723
Oh, no.
421
00:33:39,142 --> 00:33:41,685
Not the fag music. Get out of the way.
422
00:33:41,894 --> 00:33:44,062
Kenny, would you cut it
with the macho crap?
423
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:47,357
Whoa, whoa, this is about pizza, man.
424
00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:49,735
Can we try and leave Kiss out of it?
425
00:33:50,945 --> 00:33:54,740
What, a bunch of guys
who make bad music...
426
00:33:54,949 --> 00:33:58,493
...dress like freaks and wear more makeup
than all my sisters combined?
427
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:01,913
No. These assholes gotta be stopped.
428
00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:07,711
- That's it. I'm leaving.
- Oh!
429
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,838
Christine.
430
00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:11,798
Jesus.
431
00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:14,593
Christine.
You googatz in the head or something?
432
00:34:14,802 --> 00:34:17,137
We are on the side of the freaking highway.
433
00:34:17,597 --> 00:34:18,847
- Fuck her.
- Fuck her.
434
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:21,808
- Kool and the Gang, now, that's music.
- Now, that's music.
435
00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:24,978
- But this? This is crap.
- That's crap.
436
00:34:36,449 --> 00:34:39,743
All right, fag-mo,
have you learned your lesson yet, puke?
437
00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:46,208
Well, if the lesson
is that you're a dick with ears...
438
00:34:46,417 --> 00:34:50,295
...and a really bad haircut,
I'd say, yeah, I learned my lesson.
439
00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,341
- Break his fucking legs, Kenny.
- Fucking...
440
00:35:25,748 --> 00:35:29,209
Come on, we can talk about this, right? Heh.
441
00:35:29,418 --> 00:35:31,628
You know, maybe reason a little bit.
442
00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:39,845
When these guys wake up,
they'll come look for you.
443
00:35:40,054 --> 00:35:44,015
You best hope they don't find you because
if they do, they're gonna kick your asses.
444
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:48,145
Oh, yeah, Stella.
And we'll deserve it too, won't we?
445
00:35:48,354 --> 00:35:52,315
But you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna make it really worth their while.
446
00:35:57,446 --> 00:35:58,864
Oh, God!
447
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,827
- Yeah!
- You freak!
448
00:36:04,036 --> 00:36:06,079
- God!
- Yeah!
449
00:36:06,289 --> 00:36:07,539
Die, you fucking freak!
450
00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:09,666
Thanks for letting us use your makeup.
451
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:14,379
You must have the entire Revlon factory
in your purse, you greasy disco ball.
452
00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:15,755
- Let's go!
- Very funny.
453
00:36:15,965 --> 00:36:17,966
I hope you fucking choke to death and die...
454
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:20,260
...you loser-ass motherfuckers!
- Disco sucks!
455
00:36:20,469 --> 00:36:22,596
Fuck you!
456
00:36:22,805 --> 00:36:24,681
Fuck! Fuck!
457
00:36:26,767 --> 00:36:29,936
- Hey, they put the fag makeup on you.
- I got the fag makeup on?
458
00:36:30,146 --> 00:36:32,814
The fucking fag makeup's on you.
459
00:36:34,483 --> 00:36:37,652
- Oh, no. I got fag makeup on me.
- Oh, gee.
460
00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:40,780
- Yeah!
- Whoo! Whoo!
461
00:36:40,990 --> 00:36:42,073
Yeah!
462
00:36:50,791 --> 00:36:52,667
Hey, look, it's that girl.
463
00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:55,420
Man, that's no girl. That's a Stella.
464
00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:59,758
Yeah, well, Stella or no Stella,
we should pull over and help her out.
465
00:37:00,426 --> 00:37:02,135
Fucking inbred oaf.
466
00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:07,057
Kenny, fuck him. Fuck you.
Fucking kick your ass.
467
00:37:07,266 --> 00:37:08,975
Man, what the hell is wrong with you?
468
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:11,353
You got a thing for that thing?
469
00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:14,314
It's a teenage girl walking
along the side of the highway.
470
00:37:15,233 --> 00:37:18,985
I mean, they make scary movies
that start out like that.
471
00:37:19,195 --> 00:37:23,323
Hey, but they make porno movies
that start out like that too, man.
472
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,076
Yeah.
473
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,763
Oh, great. Just hitched a ride
with a bunch of potheads.
474
00:37:48,140 --> 00:37:50,392
I'm trying to hook up with people
at this place...
475
00:37:50,601 --> 00:37:54,229
...in downtown Detroit called Disco Inferno.
You mind dropping me there?
476
00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:55,939
What's it worth to you?
477
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,108
- What the hell is that supposed to mean?
- Ha, ha.
478
00:37:58,317 --> 00:38:00,610
It doesn't mean anything.
Don't pay attention to him.
479
00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:02,904
It's more like Disco's Infernal.
480
00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:04,656
Oh, you hot baby, you.
481
00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:10,412
You know, your clothes may say disco,
but your eyes say rock 'n' roll.
482
00:38:11,163 --> 00:38:15,041
Yeah? Well, your belt buckle
may say rock 'n' roll...
483
00:38:15,501 --> 00:38:18,044
...but your breath says pepperoni, baby.
484
00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:22,507
So are you gonna suck our dicks or what?
485
00:38:22,883 --> 00:38:25,051
- What?
- Trip, that's so fucking rude, man.
486
00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:29,222
Fuck you, Jam. Stop being the wussy
sensitive guy just to impress her, man.
487
00:38:29,432 --> 00:38:31,725
She's obviously not gonna put out, man.
488
00:38:32,059 --> 00:38:34,227
She's a tease, man.
489
00:38:34,437 --> 00:38:37,647
A tease? What the hell did I do
to tease you Mongoloids?
490
00:38:37,857 --> 00:38:39,065
You got in the fucking car.
491
00:38:39,275 --> 00:38:43,361
Oh, God, how calculating of me to lead you
on like that after you offered me a ride.
492
00:38:43,946 --> 00:38:45,238
Whatever, Stella.
493
00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:46,865
My name's Christine.
494
00:38:47,074 --> 00:38:50,285
Not Stella. You don't have to be
pigs because I prefer Donna Summer...
495
00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:53,663
...or KC and the Sunshine Band
or the Village People over Kiss.
496
00:38:53,873 --> 00:38:54,873
- Oh, no.
- Ha, ha.
497
00:38:55,082 --> 00:38:57,250
Fucking Village People.
Man, they're a fag band.
498
00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:01,296
- They take it up the coat.
- All right, all right, guys. All right.
499
00:39:01,505 --> 00:39:03,965
You know, thanks,
but I can take care of myself, germ.
500
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,676
- Jam.
- Whatever.
501
00:39:07,636 --> 00:39:09,596
Dope burnout, let's get one thing straight:
502
00:39:09,805 --> 00:39:12,265
As far as I'm concerned,
good tunes is good tunes.
503
00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:16,770
Be it disco or rock or polka or whatever
have you, regardless of the category.
504
00:39:16,979 --> 00:39:19,230
I mean, disco is just easier to dance to.
505
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,650
You call that Deney Terrio,
John Travolta shit dancing?
506
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:23,943
Hey, you know something?
507
00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:26,863
Disco's so fucking big right now
I wouldn't be surprised...
508
00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,990
- ...if Kiss did a disco song someday.
- What?
509
00:39:29,158 --> 00:39:31,409
- Yeah.
- If there's one thing Kiss will never do...
510
00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:34,120
...it's a bullshit disco song.
- No shit, man.
511
00:39:34,330 --> 00:39:38,291
Yeah, man.
Disco blows dogs for quarters, man. Heh.
512
00:39:38,501 --> 00:39:41,503
That's an intelligently biting remark
wrought with wit and irony.
513
00:39:41,712 --> 00:39:44,172
If you don't like that one,
you'll think it's funny...
514
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:46,883
...when we kick your fucking ass
out of the car.
515
00:39:47,093 --> 00:39:49,052
Why not put your money
where your mouth is?
516
00:39:49,261 --> 00:39:51,763
- Why don't you lick my hairy crack?
Ha-ha-ha.
517
00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:55,100
Why don't you bend over?
You're looking right at it.
518
00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,019
What?
519
00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:01,773
That last remark fell about 30 yards away
from making any sense whatsoever.
520
00:40:03,651 --> 00:40:06,820
You're right.
"Bend over, you're looking right at it"?
521
00:40:07,029 --> 00:40:09,280
What the hell is that
supposed to mean anyway?
522
00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:16,037
Give me... Give me a hit off of that J,
will you? That's some kick-ass shit.
523
00:41:07,089 --> 00:41:08,798
Kiss!
524
00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:10,592
Move out of my way!
525
00:41:10,801 --> 00:41:14,137
Lex, thank you for letting us
borrow your mom's car, man.
526
00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,639
Man, that weed knocked Christine
on her ass.
527
00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:18,850
She's sleeping like a baby Stella.
528
00:41:19,059 --> 00:41:21,978
- Man, let's lift up her skirt.
- There it is.
529
00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:25,273
- What?
- Holy fuck, we made it.
530
00:41:25,691 --> 00:41:27,775
Oh, my God.
531
00:41:30,779 --> 00:41:32,238
Oh, my God. Thank you.
532
00:41:37,203 --> 00:41:38,786
Man.
533
00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:42,123
- Hey!
- I'm going into swarmo mode.
534
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:45,752
I'm going into swarmo mode. Oh, shit!
535
00:41:52,259 --> 00:41:54,344
I'm the King of the Night Time World!
536
00:41:56,305 --> 00:42:00,266
Man, this is better than the first time
I got to finger a chick, man.
537
00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:05,104
- It's happening, man!
- WURP!
538
00:42:05,314 --> 00:42:08,983
- This is so lucky.
- We got two hours to spare.
539
00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:12,153
- Check out that parking space, you guys.
- Get in there.
540
00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:15,490
Ample time to go to the station
and grab our tickets.
541
00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:18,076
You know what,
God is smiling down upon us tonight.
542
00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:20,537
That's weird.
I figured he'd be pissed as hell at me.
543
00:42:25,209 --> 00:42:26,334
Yeah!
544
00:42:34,051 --> 00:42:35,635
This is so awesome.
545
00:42:35,844 --> 00:42:38,596
- Dude.
- I cannot wait, man. I can't wait.
546
00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:41,140
- Yeah.
- Kiss!
547
00:42:41,350 --> 00:42:43,268
We're gonna go to Kiss!
548
00:42:43,477 --> 00:42:45,937
We're gonna go to Kiss!
549
00:42:46,146 --> 00:42:49,023
- Yeah!
- Let's get out of here, man.
550
00:42:49,441 --> 00:42:51,734
- Simple Simon?
- Yeah, the one and only.
551
00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:54,988
Hey, you kids are gonna have
to hurry up.
552
00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:58,741
- I'm due at Cobo Hall for the warm-up.
- We're right behind you, Simon.
553
00:42:58,951 --> 00:43:02,245
We wanna thank you for handing over
those tickets to me and my buddies.
554
00:43:02,454 --> 00:43:03,997
Your name isn't Trip, is it?
555
00:43:04,206 --> 00:43:08,042
Oh, no. My name's Trip. Remember?
We were talking on the phone?
556
00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:13,172
- Go, caller.
- Eugene Klein...
557
00:43:13,382 --> 00:43:17,343
...Stanley Eisen, Peter Criscuola,
and Paul Frehley.
558
00:43:17,553 --> 00:43:21,973
You just got yourself
four tickets and four backstage passes to Kiss...
559
00:43:22,182 --> 00:43:25,435
...live at Cobo Hall tonight!
We won! Aah!
560
00:43:25,644 --> 00:43:28,438
Stay on the line so we can get
your full name, information and...
561
00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:31,774
Trip? Man, you didn't hang up on me,
did you, Trip?
562
00:43:31,942 --> 00:43:35,903
What kind of total moron would hang up
after winning Kiss tickets?
563
00:43:36,113 --> 00:43:38,197
Well, there you have it.
564
00:43:38,407 --> 00:43:42,910
We had no choice. We had to give
the tickets to the next caller. I'm sorry.
565
00:43:50,919 --> 00:43:53,546
- Whoa, whoa, hey, relax!
- I hate you!
566
00:43:53,756 --> 00:43:55,089
I'll kill you!
567
00:44:09,271 --> 00:44:13,608
This noise machine is more
than just a quartet of lousy musicians.
568
00:44:13,817 --> 00:44:16,903
Now there's a woman who totally
abuses her privilege of motherhood.
569
00:44:17,237 --> 00:44:19,656
- What is Kiss backwards?
- Sick!
570
00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:24,994
Oh, shit. Guys, where's the Volvo?
571
00:44:25,996 --> 00:44:29,290
- It was fucking stolen, man.
- Christine stole it.
572
00:44:29,708 --> 00:44:32,210
Asleep, my ass.
Stella booted with your mom's wheels.
573
00:44:32,419 --> 00:44:34,712
Son of a bitch, man.
How could this happen?
574
00:44:34,922 --> 00:44:37,048
- Heh, heh.
- Why are you laughing?
575
00:44:37,257 --> 00:44:39,467
I'm starting to get real mad. Jam, you ass.
576
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:42,053
Why'd you talk us
into picking up this bitch?
577
00:44:42,471 --> 00:44:46,099
- I'm sorry, man. I was trying to be nice...
- I'm sick of your nice shit.
578
00:44:46,308 --> 00:44:48,643
Drummers are supposed
to have some fucking balls.
579
00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:52,772
I was being conscientious. I didn't think
she was gonna steal his mom's car.
580
00:44:52,981 --> 00:44:56,567
Jam, just shut your faggoty-ass mouth,
okay?
581
00:44:56,777 --> 00:44:57,944
You're pissing me off.
582
00:44:58,362 --> 00:44:59,946
Now, we came all this way...
583
00:45:00,155 --> 00:45:02,073
...we got an hour and 45 minutes...
584
00:45:02,282 --> 00:45:05,326
...and we got absolutely nothing.
585
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:09,247
And so help me, God,
we are going to that concert.
586
00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:12,667
We must get the cops in
on this Volvo situation.
587
00:45:12,876 --> 00:45:14,919
Lex, this is Detroit.
588
00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:18,381
You think the cops are gonna waste
city dollars on a Swedish car?
589
00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:22,301
You're right.
I mean, my mom's got insurance.
590
00:45:22,511 --> 00:45:23,845
- Why am I freaking out?
- Yeah.
591
00:45:24,054 --> 00:45:27,056
It's cool. She's gonna try to ground me.
I don't give a shit, man.
592
00:45:27,266 --> 00:45:28,558
Exactly. Cool, bro.
593
00:45:28,767 --> 00:45:31,394
Oh, shit! Man, I'm in big trouble.
594
00:45:31,603 --> 00:45:34,021
I'm in big fucking trouble!
The car's gone, man!
595
00:45:34,231 --> 00:45:37,316
Shut the fuck up, man. We're trying to think.
596
00:45:37,526 --> 00:45:38,818
Wait a second, man.
597
00:45:39,027 --> 00:45:41,237
I know how we can get
the fucking tickets, man.
598
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:44,365
We'll beat the fucking shit
out of four little kids or something.
599
00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:47,410
- Like, take their fucking tickets.
- Brilliance, Trip.
600
00:45:47,619 --> 00:45:48,745
Sheer fucking brilliance.
601
00:45:48,954 --> 00:45:53,833
Why don't you give Albert Einstein here
the fucking Nobel Prize?
602
00:45:56,295 --> 00:45:58,337
Look, I think I can barter with a scalper.
603
00:45:58,547 --> 00:46:00,923
If you guys can think of a better plan,
go for it.
604
00:46:01,133 --> 00:46:03,843
For the next hour and a half,
it's every dude for himself.
605
00:46:04,052 --> 00:46:07,346
We'll reconvene at that intersection
at 8:45.
606
00:46:08,056 --> 00:46:12,852
- I'll see you guys later. Good luck.
- I don't know what the fuck we're doing.
607
00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:17,273
Look around you tonight, mothers.
608
00:46:17,483 --> 00:46:20,443
Look at all the young faces.
609
00:46:20,652 --> 00:46:23,404
Oh, they smile and they laugh...
610
00:46:23,614 --> 00:46:25,865
...but their eyes have lost all hope.
611
00:46:26,074 --> 00:46:31,537
This satanic group Kiss
has stolen their souls.
612
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:33,331
We...
613
00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:36,834
Shit.
614
00:46:43,884 --> 00:46:47,887
I do not know how you got here tonight,
and I do not want to know.
615
00:46:48,096 --> 00:46:53,184
All I know is you are going to pay dearly
for this one, young man.
616
00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:16,123
Oh, my God.
617
00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:19,001
The mass, Father, so inspirational.
Father, thank you.
618
00:47:19,211 --> 00:47:21,671
- Thank you. Come again next week.
- Father.
619
00:47:22,047 --> 00:47:23,339
It's Jeremiah.
620
00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:24,799
I'm desperate.
621
00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:27,009
My son was about to defy God...
622
00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:29,262
...by going to that blasphemous
Kiss concert.
623
00:47:29,471 --> 00:47:32,098
In that case, come right in.
624
00:47:32,558 --> 00:47:35,268
He and his mom just went into that church.
625
00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:37,603
Can I go and say goodbye to him?
626
00:47:37,813 --> 00:47:41,732
Beth, I am not gonna let you
wander the streets of Detroit after dark.
627
00:47:42,401 --> 00:47:45,611
I'm not going to wander.
I'm just gonna go over there.
628
00:47:45,988 --> 00:47:49,740
- Fine. As long as we know where you are.
- Thank you.
629
00:47:50,117 --> 00:47:52,743
Don't be too long.
We need to be getting back on the road.
630
00:47:52,953 --> 00:47:55,454
- Stuart.
- Just relax.
631
00:47:55,664 --> 00:47:58,791
She's probably got a crush on the kid
or something.
632
00:48:07,342 --> 00:48:12,179
Hey, chief, need a ticket?
Second row, center, but it's 75 clams.
633
00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:15,600
Oh, man, this is all I got. Look.
634
00:48:16,518 --> 00:48:19,395
Well, man, scare up the extra gravy,
brother, take it easy.
635
00:48:19,605 --> 00:48:23,691
Wait a minute, where am I supposed to find
that kind of money in an hour, man?
636
00:48:24,693 --> 00:48:28,988
Well, um, check it out over there.
There's a little contest going on.
637
00:48:29,197 --> 00:48:32,033
Take off your pants, shake your wee wee,
get a hundred bucks.
638
00:48:32,367 --> 00:48:35,912
I can't take off my clothes and go in there
and dance like that, man.
639
00:48:36,121 --> 00:48:38,748
I mean, that's embarrassing, man.
640
00:48:40,292 --> 00:48:44,128
Check it out. The question you gotta ask
yourself is how badly do you want to see...
641
00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:47,590
...the greatest fucking rock 'n' roll show
on the fucking Earth, right?
642
00:48:47,799 --> 00:48:50,551
You're talking Gene and Paul live, y'all.
643
00:48:50,761 --> 00:48:53,179
I'm talking about voluptuous women
in the audience.
644
00:48:53,388 --> 00:48:56,515
I'm talking big breastises in tight vestises,
my friend.
645
00:48:56,892 --> 00:48:59,268
You're talking people
passing around joints.
646
00:48:59,478 --> 00:49:02,563
You're talking about
fucking Detroit Rock City, brother.
647
00:49:02,773 --> 00:49:04,190
Shake your wee wee.
648
00:49:05,150 --> 00:49:09,111
I got stage fright. And they're playing
fucking disco over there.
649
00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:12,615
Shit or get off the pot, rock star.
You want to dance?
650
00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:15,826
Or you wanna see Kiss on album covers
for the rest of your life?
651
00:49:18,163 --> 00:49:19,163
Mm.
652
00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:21,749
Second row, center, brother.
Go shake your wee wee.
653
00:49:21,959 --> 00:49:24,418
- You're gonna have that ticket for me, right?
- Oh, yeah, man.
654
00:49:24,628 --> 00:49:28,589
You got my, uh... You got my solemn oath as a...
As a public servant.
655
00:49:32,094 --> 00:49:33,886
Go for it, brother.
656
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,097
All right.
657
00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:37,932
See you around.
658
00:49:43,146 --> 00:49:47,024
Hey, chief, you need a ticket?
Seventy-five bucks, second row, center.
659
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:50,569
No, man, I'm gonna beat my ticket
out of some poor defenseless chump.
660
00:49:50,779 --> 00:49:51,988
You know what I mean?
661
00:49:52,197 --> 00:49:53,781
- Yeah, whatever, reefer-head.
- Yeah.
662
00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:55,908
You fucking burnout.
663
00:50:14,094 --> 00:50:17,596
'Cause baby I believe that you're a star
664
00:50:18,473 --> 00:50:21,809
Everyone's a winner, baby
That's the truth
665
00:50:22,936 --> 00:50:25,479
Making love to you is such a thrill
666
00:50:25,647 --> 00:50:29,817
Whoo! Yeah! Take it off, honey! Whoo-hoo!
667
00:50:29,985 --> 00:50:31,986
Everyone's a winner, baby
That's no lie
668
00:50:32,154 --> 00:50:35,239
You never fail to satisfy
669
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,791
- Give me.
- Ah! Ah!
670
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:49,628
Don't do that.
671
00:50:55,302 --> 00:50:57,219
I need to sign up for the contest,
please.
672
00:50:57,846 --> 00:51:01,015
You're scrawny but thanks to the concert
we're low on amateurs. Name?
673
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:03,350
- Hawk.
- Pick a song, Hawk.
674
00:51:03,935 --> 00:51:05,061
You got any Kiss?
675
00:51:05,270 --> 00:51:07,104
Doubtful. Drink?
676
00:51:07,314 --> 00:51:08,397
Yeah. A man's drink.
677
00:51:12,944 --> 00:51:14,653
Oh, God.
678
00:51:17,407 --> 00:51:18,407
What's this?
679
00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:20,868
You've never seen a bourbon
on the rocks before?
680
00:51:21,661 --> 00:51:22,661
Oh.
681
00:51:22,871 --> 00:51:24,330
Save your money, stud muffin.
682
00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:27,666
Lady at the end of the bar sends her love.
683
00:51:37,177 --> 00:51:39,470
Oh, shit.
684
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,056
Wow.
685
00:51:42,265 --> 00:51:43,891
Cheers?
686
00:51:49,773 --> 00:51:51,190
Aah! God!
687
00:51:54,027 --> 00:51:55,569
It's gone bad.
688
00:52:12,504 --> 00:52:13,671
Hey, you little twerps.
689
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,632
Give me your Kiss tickets
or I'll pop your faces in.
690
00:52:16,842 --> 00:52:20,219
- But we don't have any Kiss tickets.
- Yeah. Kiss sucks.
691
00:52:20,428 --> 00:52:22,888
What? I ought to kick your asses
for saying that.
692
00:52:23,098 --> 00:52:25,516
Give me this instead.
Now, scram. Get out of here.
693
00:52:32,607 --> 00:52:33,607
Cool.
694
00:52:43,493 --> 00:52:45,244
Simple Simon coming at you.
695
00:52:45,620 --> 00:52:49,331
It's 30 minutes and counting
until Kiss hits the stage tonight...
696
00:52:49,541 --> 00:52:51,500
...at Detroit's very own Cobo Hall.
697
00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:55,296
But until then,
here they are with "Shock Me."
698
00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:57,965
Rock on, Ace!
699
00:53:22,824 --> 00:53:24,491
Hey, little kid.
700
00:53:24,701 --> 00:53:28,287
- Shit. You just stumped my last ball...
- Scream and I'll kick your head off.
701
00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:31,123
Okay, booger, your Kiss ticket or your life.
702
00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:33,000
Please, sir, don't beat me up.
703
00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:35,461
I do have a Kiss ticket, but not on me.
704
00:53:35,670 --> 00:53:38,756
Oh, likely story. Now, hand it over, punk.
705
00:53:38,965 --> 00:53:42,259
No, really. My brother's
hanging on to it for safekeeping.
706
00:53:42,469 --> 00:53:44,470
Please, let me get him for you.
707
00:53:44,679 --> 00:53:46,305
Hey, Chongo.
708
00:53:58,235 --> 00:53:59,568
Look, little kid...
709
00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:03,447
...I don't need to see Kiss that bad.
- Don't try to run, you maggot.
710
00:54:03,657 --> 00:54:06,116
Chongo's an all-state track star
in every event.
711
00:54:16,544 --> 00:54:17,711
Lookit, man...
712
00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:21,257
...you can have my wallet, okay?
- I was gonna take your wallet anyway...
713
00:54:21,466 --> 00:54:25,844
...after Chongo and his friends crush
your ribcage like a pack of Luckys, punk.
714
00:54:26,221 --> 00:54:30,349
- This fairy giving you shit, bro?
- He was gonna mug me for my Kiss tickets.
715
00:54:30,558 --> 00:54:31,767
That's nuts.
716
00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:37,231
Heh. I said, "Hey, little kid, you know
where I could take a piss?"
717
00:54:42,570 --> 00:54:46,282
Okay, pimple dick, you have the option
of walking outside or getting dragged out.
718
00:54:46,491 --> 00:54:47,825
Please, sir...
719
00:54:48,034 --> 00:54:49,743
...don't kick my ass.
720
00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:53,205
I'll do anything to get out of a beating.
721
00:54:53,748 --> 00:54:55,541
Say, Chongo...
722
00:54:55,750 --> 00:54:59,962
...perhaps we could use some extra cash
for tasty snacks at the Kiss concert...
723
00:55:00,171 --> 00:55:02,673
...our weaselly friend won't be attending.
724
00:55:13,727 --> 00:55:15,936
Hey, move those lights over there.
725
00:55:33,496 --> 00:55:36,123
- Hey, you.
- Man.
726
00:55:36,499 --> 00:55:37,541
Hey, come back here!
727
00:55:39,919 --> 00:55:41,253
Shit.
728
00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:44,089
Come here.
729
00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:52,723
All right, wise guy. You are so out of here.
730
00:55:52,932 --> 00:55:56,185
Fuck. Hey, keep your paws to yourself,
you dumb fucking ape.
731
00:55:56,394 --> 00:55:59,021
Where'd he go? Did you see him?
732
00:56:03,485 --> 00:56:08,072
It's been a while
since my boy had holy confession.
733
00:56:08,281 --> 00:56:10,574
- Could you please...?
- Consider it done.
734
00:56:10,784 --> 00:56:12,284
Oh.
735
00:56:32,305 --> 00:56:37,142
It is about time that you gave up
that stupid dream of yours once and for all.
736
00:56:37,352 --> 00:56:40,646
No son of mine
is gonna be a career musician...
737
00:56:40,855 --> 00:56:42,189
...ever, ever, ever!
738
00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:44,274
- Madam, madam.
- Shh.
739
00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:45,943
We are in a cathedral.
740
00:56:46,152 --> 00:56:49,822
- I'll walk you out.
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
741
00:56:55,662 --> 00:56:57,830
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
742
00:56:58,039 --> 00:57:04,378
This is my first confession
in a really long time.
743
00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:17,724
That was our Viking, Patrick Hirsch,
and he's hung like a Norse.
744
00:57:17,934 --> 00:57:21,645
Our next amateur has a name like a bird,
and if you like birds, you'll like this:
745
00:57:21,855 --> 00:57:23,313
- It's just a swallow.
- Aw!
746
00:57:23,523 --> 00:57:26,150
So put your hands together,
make him feel at home...
747
00:57:26,359 --> 00:57:29,236
...and please welcome Hawk.
748
00:57:32,073 --> 00:57:34,158
Oh, shit.
749
00:57:34,576 --> 00:57:36,243
No, no, no.
750
00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:39,413
- No way, man.
- You're not gonna chicken out now, are you?
751
00:57:41,082 --> 00:57:43,125
You're right, Dicky.
752
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,003
You're right, man.
753
00:57:46,296 --> 00:57:50,466
Shit. What am I saying?
I gotta do this. It's for Kiss.
754
00:58:04,898 --> 00:58:05,898
Ow.
755
00:59:18,304 --> 00:59:20,556
Oh, my God.
756
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:54,715
The stink.
757
00:59:56,050 --> 00:59:57,050
Maestro.
758
01:00:17,322 --> 01:00:21,450
I know a thing or two about her
759
01:00:24,287 --> 01:00:29,875
I know she'll only make you cry
760
01:00:31,669 --> 01:00:34,004
Everybody says she's looking good
761
01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:38,008
And the lady knows it's understood
762
01:00:38,176 --> 01:00:39,801
Strutter
763
01:00:46,517 --> 01:00:50,812
She wears her satins like a lady
764
01:00:53,775 --> 01:00:59,321
She gets her way just like a child
765
01:01:01,199 --> 01:01:07,079
You take her home and she says
"Maybe, baby"
766
01:01:08,706 --> 01:01:13,710
She takes you down and drives you wild
767
01:01:15,630 --> 01:01:18,090
Everybody says she's looking good
768
01:01:18,549 --> 01:01:19,549
Whoo!
769
01:01:19,717 --> 01:01:21,051
And the lady knows it's understood
770
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:22,469
Take it off!
771
01:01:22,637 --> 01:01:24,096
Strutter
772
01:01:24,472 --> 01:01:25,472
Oh. Whoa.
773
01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:41,863
Ow.
774
01:02:01,926 --> 01:02:03,176
Oh, man! Hey!
775
01:02:10,393 --> 01:02:12,185
- Hey!
- Man.
776
01:02:12,395 --> 01:02:14,229
Come back, you little punk!
777
01:02:15,356 --> 01:02:16,815
Move!
778
01:02:17,024 --> 01:02:18,984
Hey!
779
01:02:25,241 --> 01:02:27,284
- What are you doing?
- Move it!
780
01:02:27,452 --> 01:02:29,828
Get off me, you bitch!
781
01:02:32,081 --> 01:02:34,499
Get up. Come on, move it, sweetie.
782
01:02:34,667 --> 01:02:35,709
Watch it, asshole.
783
01:02:36,043 --> 01:02:39,880
Where is he? Where did he go this time?
784
01:02:42,717 --> 01:02:45,135
- Two hundred bucks?
- My time's precious.
785
01:02:45,344 --> 01:02:47,804
That's a reasonable price to pay
for your sorry life.
786
01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:50,223
Hold on, man.
787
01:02:51,517 --> 01:02:54,060
Look, I know how I can get the money.
788
01:02:54,270 --> 01:02:56,271
I just figured it out, man.
789
01:02:56,481 --> 01:02:58,899
Oh, yes.
790
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,443
But you might wanna wait outside.
791
01:03:01,652 --> 01:03:04,154
- I don't trust him.
- I think he's on the level.
792
01:03:04,363 --> 01:03:06,948
He's too stupid to do anything sneaky
anyway.
793
01:03:07,158 --> 01:03:09,534
Look at him. He's a moron.
794
01:03:10,870 --> 01:03:13,497
You got 15 minutes
and not a second longer.
795
01:03:13,706 --> 01:03:16,249
Are you sure
that you don't wanna talk...
796
01:03:16,459 --> 01:03:22,172
...about, uh, oh, carnal knowledge
with a neighborhood girl?
797
01:03:22,381 --> 01:03:27,010
Or how about finding
a box of magazines, huh?
798
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:29,554
Under your dad's bed?
799
01:03:31,390 --> 01:03:32,641
No.
800
01:03:32,934 --> 01:03:35,811
Well, then I suggest
you try to think of something...
801
01:03:36,020 --> 01:03:40,148
...a little juicier to confess
than losing Kiss tickets.
802
01:03:56,624 --> 01:03:57,916
Shh.
803
01:03:59,794 --> 01:04:00,836
Beth?
804
01:04:01,045 --> 01:04:02,754
Shh.
805
01:04:03,422 --> 01:04:06,174
Are you waiting for a confession?
I thought you were Jewish.
806
01:04:06,759 --> 01:04:08,426
I have a confession.
807
01:04:21,607 --> 01:04:27,320
- I didn't mean for that to be so, um, intense.
- I can take it.
808
01:04:28,948 --> 01:04:31,658
I've been in love with you
since the moment I saw you.
809
01:04:31,868 --> 01:04:35,036
I've just always been too scared to show it.
810
01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:38,206
That's exactly the same way
I've always felt about you.
811
01:04:38,791 --> 01:04:41,543
- Jeremiah, really?
- Really.
812
01:04:42,044 --> 01:04:44,421
And call me Jam.
813
01:04:44,630 --> 01:04:45,839
It's my band name.
814
01:04:48,009 --> 01:04:49,593
Jam.
815
01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:57,559
And now for our grand prize of $100...
816
01:04:57,768 --> 01:04:59,603
Don't worry, ladies, I'm not competing.
817
01:04:59,812 --> 01:05:01,897
If I did, you'd want your money back.
818
01:05:02,106 --> 01:05:03,440
And the winner is:
819
01:05:05,818 --> 01:05:08,236
- Sir Loin!
- Yes! Yes!
820
01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:27,505
Hey, don't look so sad.
821
01:05:27,715 --> 01:05:31,635
The night is young and filled
with compensatory possibilities.
822
01:05:31,802 --> 01:05:33,470
Oh, heh.
823
01:05:33,721 --> 01:05:38,850
Oh, thanks for the drinks.
That was really generous.
824
01:05:39,310 --> 01:05:43,438
There's no reason for me to be around
these parts anymore, you know.
825
01:05:43,648 --> 01:05:46,316
I'm in a position
to spend some money on you...
826
01:05:46,525 --> 01:05:50,362
...if you'd get in a position
and spend some time on me.
827
01:06:09,173 --> 01:06:11,633
I can't believe you're thinking
of robbing this store.
828
01:06:11,842 --> 01:06:15,053
You don't pass GO and collect $200
for pulling stuff like this.
829
01:06:15,262 --> 01:06:19,516
No shit. Is this really worth it? I mean,
sure, you're gonna get your ass kicked...
830
01:06:19,725 --> 01:06:22,102
...nine ways to Sunday
by that fucking gorilla...
831
01:06:22,311 --> 01:06:24,771
...but, I mean,
that's still a hundred times better...
832
01:06:24,981 --> 01:06:27,774
...than getting it porked
for the next three to five.
833
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:29,442
And what about that girl, Trip?
834
01:06:29,652 --> 01:06:31,736
She'll never forget this night.
835
01:06:31,946 --> 01:06:34,948
Even if you get away with it,
she'll be scarred for life.
836
01:06:35,157 --> 01:06:37,951
When are you gonna realize
that sometimes being tough...
837
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:39,953
...means being tender?
838
01:06:40,162 --> 01:06:42,497
All right, everybody, shut up!
839
01:06:53,259 --> 01:06:55,176
Mm-hm.
840
01:06:57,513 --> 01:06:58,972
Gonna have to do this sometime.
841
01:07:07,356 --> 01:07:09,482
Might as well be now.
842
01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:12,402
- Okay.
- Evening, honey.
843
01:07:14,155 --> 01:07:17,323
You know what I am, what this is, and
what you need to do, so let's do it quick.
844
01:07:17,533 --> 01:07:22,370
Everybody else, kindly introduce
yourselves to the floor and kiss it hello.
845
01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:27,917
- Do it or die, bitch.
- Please, mister, I'm just a high school kid.
846
01:07:28,461 --> 01:07:30,670
- Aah!
- Fuck school.
847
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:33,965
I just went through the motions
till I was old enough to drop out.
848
01:07:34,175 --> 01:07:36,676
And where's all that studying
going to get you tonight?
849
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:40,680
Robbed at gunpoint
and possibly shot in the fucking head.
850
01:07:42,683 --> 01:07:45,518
Hey, scumbag, drop it,
or I'll blow your head off.
851
01:07:49,065 --> 01:07:50,857
Oh, yeah?
852
01:07:51,067 --> 01:07:52,692
You and what army?
853
01:07:56,405 --> 01:07:57,906
The Kiss Army.
854
01:08:33,442 --> 01:08:34,859
Oh, God, they're in there.
855
01:08:54,171 --> 01:08:56,589
- Oh, shit.
- Come on.
856
01:09:12,523 --> 01:09:14,566
Oh, God. God, if you get me out of this...
857
01:09:14,775 --> 01:09:18,111
...I swear I will never pull my pork again.
858
01:09:19,864 --> 01:09:23,032
- Give me your gun, boy.
- No. You give me your gun, boy.
859
01:09:23,242 --> 01:09:25,285
I don't even think you have a gun.
860
01:09:25,494 --> 01:09:26,744
Neither do I.
861
01:09:27,329 --> 01:09:28,913
For the last time...
862
01:09:29,123 --> 01:09:34,210
...take the piece out, lay back down,
or your mom's gonna need Mr. Clean...
863
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:36,838
...to get the brains out of your ski cap.
864
01:09:52,313 --> 01:09:53,897
- Aah!
- Let go of it.
865
01:09:54,315 --> 01:09:55,648
Let go.
866
01:10:19,340 --> 01:10:22,050
Thank you. Thank you.
867
01:10:22,718 --> 01:10:23,885
Who are you?
868
01:10:24,053 --> 01:10:27,472
Ah, they call me Dr. Love.
869
01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:46,366
Is it true that Gene Simmons had
a cow's tongue grafted onto his real tongue?
870
01:10:46,575 --> 01:10:49,202
I think he, uh, had the piece of skin...
871
01:10:49,411 --> 01:10:52,580
...under his tongue removed
so he could stick it out farther.
872
01:10:53,332 --> 01:10:54,958
I was gonna send you this, but...
873
01:10:56,210 --> 01:10:57,877
- Ann Arbor?
- Yeah.
874
01:10:58,087 --> 01:11:00,672
My dad's company is relocating him.
875
01:11:00,881 --> 01:11:03,258
That's why I was acting
so freaky at school today.
876
01:11:03,467 --> 01:11:06,052
I thought it'd be the last time
I'd ever get to see you.
877
01:11:18,941 --> 01:11:21,526
Oh, fuck.
878
01:11:23,112 --> 01:11:26,281
You'd better have something really sinful
for me this time, son.
879
01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:28,866
All right, Father, here it is.
880
01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:33,997
I feel a little ashamed talking to you
about this, but I went to my cousin's wedding.
881
01:11:34,206 --> 01:11:39,002
And one of the bridesmaids asked me
if I wanted to take a bath.
882
01:11:39,378 --> 01:11:40,712
This is terrible.
883
01:11:40,921 --> 01:11:42,922
This girl was a total fox.
884
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:47,135
So I finally gave in to temptation about
a block away from the wedding reception...
885
01:11:47,344 --> 01:11:49,804
...at this little motel
that charges by the hour.
886
01:11:50,014 --> 01:11:51,973
When she peeled off that gown...
887
01:11:52,182 --> 01:11:57,437
...you are not gonna believe
what she was wearing underneath.
888
01:11:57,646 --> 01:11:58,688
Was it a teddy?
889
01:11:59,189 --> 01:12:01,899
- Oh, no.
- A bustier?
890
01:12:02,234 --> 01:12:04,485
- Uh-uh.
- Satin underwear?
891
01:12:06,238 --> 01:12:07,864
Crotchless panties?
892
01:12:08,365 --> 01:12:10,825
Leopard-skin bra?
893
01:12:11,201 --> 01:12:12,744
Fishnet leotard?
894
01:12:13,454 --> 01:12:15,371
A leather G-string?
895
01:12:17,374 --> 01:12:20,835
All right, guys, here. You want a sandwich?
Come on. Go. Go!
896
01:12:21,879 --> 01:12:24,130
Okay, fuck it, man. I just... I give up.
897
01:12:28,844 --> 01:12:31,137
Oh, God, man, what now? Wolves?
898
01:12:43,525 --> 01:12:45,026
All right.
899
01:12:59,958 --> 01:13:04,253
So I jump in the car. I hot-wire it in,
like, 30 seconds. I start driving.
900
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:07,173
Suddenly, I hear this scream.
The disco queen was asleep...
901
01:13:07,383 --> 01:13:08,758
...in the backseat the whole time.
902
01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:14,138
- What are we gonna do with her anyway?
- I don't know, but she looks like fun.
903
01:13:14,348 --> 01:13:15,473
Yeah.
904
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:23,439
- Hey, hey, take it easy.
- Aah! God.
905
01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:26,359
You don't wanna get any whiskey dick
around here now.
906
01:13:26,568 --> 01:13:28,945
Of course, you don't have to worry
about that, do you, woody?
907
01:13:29,113 --> 01:13:30,988
Ooh. Aah!
908
01:13:31,156 --> 01:13:34,033
Oh, shit! Oh, wow.
909
01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:36,661
I see you've met premature Peter.
Heh, heh.
910
01:13:36,870 --> 01:13:38,871
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
911
01:13:39,081 --> 01:13:40,957
It's been, uh, quite a night.
912
01:13:41,166 --> 01:13:43,709
So far, you've seen me
and my dick throw up.
913
01:13:43,919 --> 01:13:46,754
Hey, I'm sure there's more
where that came from, right?
914
01:13:50,259 --> 01:13:52,260
Now, come here.
915
01:13:56,974 --> 01:13:57,974
Oh.
916
01:14:05,315 --> 01:14:07,692
Better kill me before you do
what you're thinking about...
917
01:14:07,901 --> 01:14:11,571
...doing to me, because when I get angry,
I can bite down very hard.
918
01:14:11,780 --> 01:14:14,949
Sweet Polly Purebred's got some spunk,
huh?
919
01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:18,661
- I'll give her some spunk, all right.
- We stripped that Beemer in 15 minutes.
920
01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:21,247
I'd say we could strip her in 15 seconds.
921
01:14:22,666 --> 01:14:25,376
Hey. Now, wait a minute, guys.
Come on, two on one ain't fair.
922
01:14:25,961 --> 01:14:27,879
Why don't you let me get
my friend Barbara?
923
01:14:28,088 --> 01:14:30,882
I'm telling you, you'd love her.
Tits the size of your head.
924
01:14:31,091 --> 01:14:34,594
You'll feel like a little baby sucking
on them. You guys like disco?
925
01:14:34,803 --> 01:14:36,762
I teach disco dancing back at my church.
926
01:14:36,972 --> 01:14:39,015
You look like you got a rhythm
in your blood.
927
01:14:39,391 --> 01:14:41,893
Free lessons if you let me go.
928
01:14:42,227 --> 01:14:44,061
Oh, I know a dance we could do.
929
01:14:44,271 --> 01:14:46,522
The horizontal hustle.
930
01:14:50,569 --> 01:14:52,361
Hey, peanut turds.
931
01:14:53,155 --> 01:14:54,947
I'm here for the girl and the car.
932
01:14:55,157 --> 01:14:58,534
You can try to stop me, but you're not
gonna like what happens if you do.
933
01:14:58,869 --> 01:15:01,162
It's too bad. He was such a young idiot.
934
01:15:01,830 --> 01:15:03,789
Hey, he's a stupid boy.
935
01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:05,750
He deserves to fucking die.
936
01:15:15,802 --> 01:15:17,845
Tear these grease monkeys a new asshole.
937
01:15:29,358 --> 01:15:32,944
One step out of that office,
and your asses are Alpo.
938
01:15:36,365 --> 01:15:37,949
I always come prepared.
939
01:15:45,707 --> 01:15:49,168
Oh, wow, Lex. You're the coolest.
940
01:15:49,378 --> 01:15:52,547
I believe you were promised a ride
to Disco Inferno.
941
01:15:52,756 --> 01:15:54,048
Let me escort you to the car.
942
01:15:54,258 --> 01:15:56,342
Hey, what about the fucking dogs?
943
01:15:56,677 --> 01:15:58,553
- You got a phone in there, man?
- Yes.
944
01:15:58,762 --> 01:16:00,221
Call the cops.
945
01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:08,563
Beth, I feel like such an idiot.
946
01:16:08,772 --> 01:16:11,357
Why didn't I just say something
a year and a half ago?
947
01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:13,568
Don't think about the past.
948
01:16:13,777 --> 01:16:17,822
Let's just think about from today on.
949
01:16:18,365 --> 01:16:19,991
I'll never forget you, Jam.
950
01:16:20,200 --> 01:16:22,326
- Church will never be the same.
- Heh.
951
01:16:22,536 --> 01:16:24,161
Yeah.
952
01:16:40,012 --> 01:16:42,388
Goddamn it, Beth.
953
01:16:42,931 --> 01:16:44,348
Yeah, I'm coming, Dad.
954
01:16:46,059 --> 01:16:47,435
Well...
955
01:16:48,645 --> 01:16:52,315
So, um, I'll call you...
956
01:16:52,524 --> 01:16:53,858
...as soon as we get a phone.
957
01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:55,651
- All right.
- Yeah.
958
01:16:56,903 --> 01:16:58,070
Bye.
959
01:16:58,655 --> 01:17:00,114
Bye.
960
01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:24,096
- I hope this helps.
- No, no. You know what?
961
01:17:24,306 --> 01:17:27,183
Strange as it may seem,
I don't think I can take the money.
962
01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:30,770
It's just... It'll cheapen the whole experience.
963
01:17:30,979 --> 01:17:33,105
I ain't no midnight cowboy
or anything like that.
964
01:17:35,817 --> 01:17:37,610
I'm not paying you for the lovemaking.
965
01:17:38,362 --> 01:17:42,448
I want you to have this for whatever it was
you needed it for when I made the offer.
966
01:17:47,454 --> 01:17:50,206
Thanks. Yeah.
967
01:17:50,415 --> 01:17:51,832
Was there any money taken?
968
01:17:52,042 --> 01:17:55,628
Nope. But it is Smiley Mart's policy
to hand over a cash reward...
969
01:17:55,837 --> 01:18:00,549
...of a hundred and fifty dollars
to anyone who stops a robbery.
970
01:18:00,759 --> 01:18:03,761
I gave him the money and he took off.
971
01:18:04,638 --> 01:18:06,472
Yeah, okay. Uh...
972
01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:09,809
Thanks. Hey, you see this guy again,
you give us a call, all right?
973
01:18:10,018 --> 01:18:12,144
We wanna ask him a few questions.
974
01:18:12,354 --> 01:18:14,438
If I see Dr. Love again anytime soon...
975
01:18:14,648 --> 01:18:18,192
...you're gonna have to wait
till I'm done with him first.
976
01:18:24,449 --> 01:18:26,325
One-thirty...
977
01:18:26,535 --> 01:18:29,245
...140 and 150.
978
01:18:29,454 --> 01:18:31,539
That's all I got, man.
979
01:18:35,836 --> 01:18:37,878
Tsk, tsk. tsk.
980
01:18:38,088 --> 01:18:41,841
I really wanted things to work out
for you, my weaselly, dimwitted friend.
981
01:18:42,300 --> 01:18:45,219
You got spunk. Chongo.
982
01:19:03,780 --> 01:19:06,073
At least I still got you, Stretch.
983
01:19:11,037 --> 01:19:12,455
I took his head off.
984
01:19:20,338 --> 01:19:22,548
Kiss? How dare they call
themselves Kiss.
985
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:23,799
Kiss is about love.
986
01:19:24,593 --> 01:19:29,388
They are teaching our children
lust, betrayal, and hate.
987
01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:33,225
- We, as parents are obligated...
- How's it going, Mom?
988
01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:37,480
- Jeremiah.
- I'm gonna ask you this nicely first.
989
01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:39,231
Can I have my drumsticks back?
990
01:19:39,441 --> 01:19:43,319
Your drumsticks are the least
of your worries, young man.
991
01:19:43,528 --> 01:19:45,112
You ran out on God.
992
01:19:45,322 --> 01:19:48,032
My son just ran out on God.
993
01:19:48,241 --> 01:19:52,495
- You are in a world of...
- Trouble? Ha-ha-ha!
994
01:19:52,704 --> 01:19:56,499
I've been in trouble for the past 12 hours.
Hello?
995
01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:59,543
I'm gonna be in
St. Bernard's boarding school...
996
01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:02,087
...for the next two years of my life.
- Yes.
997
01:20:02,297 --> 01:20:05,424
I'm gonna be out of your hair
until I am a legal adult.
998
01:20:05,634 --> 01:20:07,593
- Yes!
- All you have to do is go to church...
999
01:20:07,803 --> 01:20:10,262
...light a candle,
and pray to some stupid statue...
1000
01:20:10,472 --> 01:20:12,515
...and all is forgiven and forgotten,
right?
1001
01:20:12,724 --> 01:20:15,267
Then you can spend your days
in a guilt-free pursuit...
1002
01:20:15,477 --> 01:20:17,269
...of more constructive activities...
1003
01:20:17,479 --> 01:20:21,190
...like telling everybody else
how screwed up their lives are.
1004
01:20:21,399 --> 01:20:24,485
Then you no longer need the patience
and understanding required...
1005
01:20:24,694 --> 01:20:28,781
...in order to talk to your own son
on some normal plane.
1006
01:20:28,990 --> 01:20:32,451
And that way, you don't even need
to think about how tough it was for you...
1007
01:20:32,661 --> 01:20:35,246
...when you were growing up,
probably a good thing too...
1008
01:20:35,455 --> 01:20:37,790
...because if you did,
you'd realize what a lousy...
1009
01:20:37,999 --> 01:20:40,918
...goddamn, shitty-ass parent you are.
1010
01:20:44,464 --> 01:20:46,173
Jeremiah...
1011
01:20:46,383 --> 01:20:47,925
...what has gotten into you?
1012
01:20:49,719 --> 01:20:53,180
I just lost my virginity
in a confessional booth!
1013
01:20:53,390 --> 01:20:55,975
Lord have mercy!
1014
01:20:57,477 --> 01:21:01,730
- Oh, my goodness.
- Now, for the last time...
1015
01:21:01,940 --> 01:21:06,735
...Mom, give me back
my fucking drumsticks.
1016
01:21:07,904 --> 01:21:09,488
Please.
1017
01:21:24,921 --> 01:21:26,380
Cute.
1018
01:21:43,648 --> 01:21:45,941
They grow up fast, don't they?
1019
01:21:49,404 --> 01:21:52,865
Hey, dude. Dude, I got the cash, man.
Check it out.
1020
01:21:53,074 --> 01:21:54,074
No!
1021
01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:56,201
No, that can't be the last ticket!
1022
01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:58,203
God! No, no, no!
1023
01:21:58,413 --> 01:22:01,081
You fucking bastard!
1024
01:22:01,291 --> 01:22:02,291
Oh.
1025
01:22:44,876 --> 01:22:46,001
Any luck?
1026
01:22:46,211 --> 01:22:50,464
Yeah, man, plenty, heh.
But it was all bad, man.
1027
01:22:50,674 --> 01:22:51,757
I found the Volvo.
1028
01:22:51,967 --> 01:22:53,634
Oh, yeah?
1029
01:22:55,011 --> 01:22:57,972
- Tickets?
- No.
1030
01:23:02,018 --> 01:23:03,852
Wait a second. I know how we can get in.
1031
01:23:04,354 --> 01:23:07,898
I say that we all beat the shit
out of each other, right?
1032
01:23:08,108 --> 01:23:09,441
We go to the ticket taker...
1033
01:23:09,651 --> 01:23:12,444
...and we say that we got mugged
and our tickets were stolen.
1034
01:23:12,654 --> 01:23:16,949
I mean, they have to let us in then, right?
They have to.
1035
01:23:21,121 --> 01:23:22,121
Why not?
1036
01:23:52,527 --> 01:23:55,195
- Okay, thanks, man.
- Go.
1037
01:23:55,405 --> 01:23:58,323
No! No! God!
1038
01:23:58,533 --> 01:24:00,826
Oh, man, you gotta let us in.
1039
01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:02,703
Four muggers just stole our tickets.
1040
01:24:02,912 --> 01:24:04,747
Heh. You expect me to believe that?
1041
01:24:05,206 --> 01:24:07,291
Are you fucking kidding me?
1042
01:24:08,376 --> 01:24:09,626
Look at us.
1043
01:24:11,463 --> 01:24:16,592
Hey, it was those assholes right there!
They stole our tickets! Number 13!
1044
01:24:16,801 --> 01:24:18,343
Hey, stop those guys.
1045
01:24:20,847 --> 01:24:21,847
No.
1046
01:24:23,975 --> 01:24:25,976
- They got tickets.
- Let's see. Come here.
1047
01:24:26,186 --> 01:24:27,770
They even stole my wallet, man.
1048
01:24:27,979 --> 01:24:30,439
I've never even seen these assholes before.
1049
01:24:30,648 --> 01:24:33,859
In there,
you'll find my Kiss Army picture ID...
1050
01:24:34,069 --> 01:24:35,903
...and a hundred fifty bucks cash.
1051
01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:45,913
- Out of here. Come on.
- Damn.
1052
01:24:46,664 --> 01:24:49,083
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
1053
01:24:49,292 --> 01:24:51,210
My midget weaselly friend.
1054
01:24:51,419 --> 01:24:55,089
I was really hoping things
could work out for you, you know?
1055
01:24:55,298 --> 01:24:57,257
You got spunk.
1056
01:24:57,926 --> 01:25:00,594
- Go.
- I got it, man.
1057
01:25:00,804 --> 01:25:02,304
We're going.
1058
01:25:29,999 --> 01:25:31,667
Okay, then.
1059
01:25:42,554 --> 01:25:45,681
We want Kiss! We want Kiss!
1060
01:25:45,890 --> 01:25:49,935
We want Kiss! We want Kiss!
We want Kiss!
1061
01:25:50,145 --> 01:25:54,565
We want Kiss! We want Kiss!
We want Kiss!
1062
01:25:54,774 --> 01:26:00,154
We want Kiss! We want Kiss!
We want Kiss!
1063
01:26:00,363 --> 01:26:01,989
This is it.
1064
01:26:05,869 --> 01:26:08,453
You wanted the best, and you got the best!
1065
01:26:08,663 --> 01:26:12,416
The hottest band in the world, Kiss!
1066
01:26:30,351 --> 01:26:32,811
I feel uptight on a Saturday night
1067
01:26:33,021 --> 01:26:34,229
Oh, shit!
1068
01:26:35,565 --> 01:26:39,818
Nine o'clock
The radio's the only light
1069
01:26:41,154 --> 01:26:43,739
I hear my song and it pulls me through
1070
01:26:46,784 --> 01:26:50,078
It comes on strong
Tells me what I got to do
1071
01:26:50,288 --> 01:26:52,289
- I got to
- Get up
1072
01:26:52,498 --> 01:26:54,333
Everybody's gonna move their feet
1073
01:26:54,542 --> 01:26:57,920
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat
1074
01:26:59,422 --> 01:27:02,633
You gotta lose your mind in Detroit Rock City
1075
01:27:02,842 --> 01:27:05,469
Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
1076
01:27:05,678 --> 01:27:08,388
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat
1077
01:27:29,202 --> 01:27:31,370
Movin' fast
Doin' ninety five
1078
01:27:34,165 --> 01:27:38,168
I hit top speed
Still movin' much too slow
1079
01:27:39,796 --> 01:27:41,922
I feel so good
I'm so alive
1080
01:27:42,131 --> 01:27:43,257
I'm so alive
1081
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:48,428
I hear my song playin' on the radio
1082
01:27:48,846 --> 01:27:50,138
And it goes
1083
01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:53,433
Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
1084
01:28:09,367 --> 01:28:10,492
Yeah!
1085
01:28:13,788 --> 01:28:15,872
Oh, my God!
1086
01:28:19,252 --> 01:28:23,839
Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
1087
01:34:29,455 --> 01:34:32,040
- But we don't have any Kiss tickets.
- Yeah. Kiss sucks!
1088
01:34:32,041 --> 01:34:34,042
- But we don't have any Kiss tickets.
- Yeah. Kiss sucks!
80201
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