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1
00:00:13,965 --> 00:00:16,981
Jim, I'll need
eight battery-operated candles.
2
00:00:17,005 --> 00:00:18,165
They're in my desk drawer.
3
00:00:23,285 --> 00:00:25,013
Will you just answer a simple question?
4
00:00:25,037 --> 00:00:26,181
If I hear one, of course.
5
00:00:26,205 --> 00:00:28,261
- Uh, this way, please, Jim.
- What is happening?
6
00:00:28,285 --> 00:00:29,861
Why is everything so weird?
7
00:00:29,885 --> 00:00:32,460
This all started last week
when the power went out, didn't it?
8
00:00:32,484 --> 00:00:34,061
Three questions, none of them simple.
9
00:00:34,085 --> 00:00:36,181
But to answer your last one, no.
10
00:00:36,205 --> 00:00:39,541
This all started a very long time ago.
11
00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:41,621
But... also, yes.
12
00:00:41,645 --> 00:00:43,205
So, why were we all dancing?
13
00:00:44,405 --> 00:00:46,685
I thought it might make you realize
that Maggie loved you,
14
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,045
and then you'd fall in love with her.
15
00:00:49,725 --> 00:00:51,685
It all looks so simple in Jane Austen.
16
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:53,621
Jane Austen?
17
00:00:53,645 --> 00:00:57,165
Oh, yes, the brains behind
the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery.
18
00:01:03,045 --> 00:01:06,085
You're going to let us in,
whether you like it or not.
19
00:01:07,245 --> 00:01:08,245
Not.
20
00:01:08,805 --> 00:01:10,525
You are not welcome here.
21
00:01:12,925 --> 00:01:14,981
Heaven. Doors opening.
22
00:01:15,005 --> 00:01:18,165
- Right. Where do you keep your records?
- Records?
23
00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:21,185
You're a scrivener, 37th class.
Records, where?
24
00:01:21,725 --> 00:01:23,621
- My office, but...
- Lead on.
25
00:01:23,645 --> 00:01:26,020
But... No, I can't!
26
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,101
You're a demon! I can't just...
27
00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:30,421
Do you know how much trouble
I'll get into for this?
28
00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:31,781
It's fine.
29
00:01:31,805 --> 00:01:33,141
You're forgetting about the bees.
30
00:01:33,165 --> 00:01:35,621
- Bees?
- Angels are like bees.
31
00:01:35,645 --> 00:01:38,221
Fiercely protective of their hive
if you're trying to get inside.
32
00:01:38,245 --> 00:01:40,365
Once you're in... well, I mean...
33
00:01:41,605 --> 00:01:45,421
is it even faintly possible that
an unauthorized demon might be just
34
00:01:45,445 --> 00:01:48,165
wandering around in Heaven unescorted?
35
00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:50,484
Mm, bees.
36
00:01:51,165 --> 00:01:53,261
But you don't look like a bee.
37
00:01:53,285 --> 00:01:55,421
You look like a murder hornet
38
00:01:55,445 --> 00:01:56,965
or a snake or a...
39
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,205
Bees. Right.
40
00:01:59,965 --> 00:02:01,405
Your office. I'll follow you.
41
00:02:15,605 --> 00:02:17,141
Go, go. Hide.
42
00:02:17,165 --> 00:02:18,941
You lot are ridiculous.
43
00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:21,701
We are the legions of the damned.
We are invincible.
44
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,548
You might be invincible,
but you're still stuck out there,
45
00:02:24,572 --> 00:02:25,821
and we're in here.
46
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,225
You don't frighten me.
47
00:02:33,765 --> 00:02:37,581
I had brothers.
You don't scare me by making faces.
48
00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:39,341
- Just leave 'em alone, Maggie.
- No.
49
00:02:39,365 --> 00:02:40,541
I'm not scared of them.
50
00:02:40,565 --> 00:02:43,565
I've spent my life
being scared of things.
51
00:02:44,885 --> 00:02:46,581
And I'm done with being scared.
52
00:02:46,605 --> 00:02:48,101
Please, Maggie.
53
00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:49,901
Yes, please, Maggie.
54
00:02:49,925 --> 00:02:53,582
Please don't embarrass yourself in front
of the woman
55
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,101
you pathetically love.
56
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:59,501
She's not embarrassing herself.
She's... braver than anyone I know.
57
00:02:59,525 --> 00:03:01,301
Two cowards.
58
00:03:01,325 --> 00:03:05,221
You posture bravely because
you are in there and we are out here.
59
00:03:05,245 --> 00:03:07,701
Leave us alone. Leave this shop alone.
60
00:03:07,725 --> 00:03:10,485
Leave Mr. Fell alone.
61
00:03:11,165 --> 00:03:12,525
You are nothing, Maggie.
62
00:03:13,325 --> 00:03:16,381
Look at you.
You run a shop nobody visits,
63
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:19,060
unable to pay the rent. Dull.
64
00:03:19,084 --> 00:03:21,485
You're unloved and unlovable.
65
00:03:22,565 --> 00:03:24,301
You're a nobody,
66
00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:27,805
and you'll live,
and then you'll die, a nobody.
67
00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:36,261
My God, you lot are pathetic.
68
00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:38,445
You wanna come in here
and say that to my face?
69
00:03:44,645 --> 00:03:46,005
Come on, quickly. Go!
70
00:03:58,485 --> 00:03:59,565
Maggie,
71
00:04:00,245 --> 00:04:01,341
what just happened?
72
00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:03,981
I... I think I might have just told them
they could come in.
73
00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:07,061
Get back... Get back here now,
fast, please.
74
00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:08,225
It's for your own good.
75
00:04:10,525 --> 00:04:13,581
I am perfectly prepared
to take defensive action,
76
00:04:13,605 --> 00:04:15,021
should it become necessary.
77
00:04:15,045 --> 00:04:16,685
Stay back.
78
00:04:20,005 --> 00:04:21,005
Hello?
79
00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:24,661
Is there anybody there?
80
00:04:30,485 --> 00:04:31,525
I have to tell you,
81
00:04:32,485 --> 00:04:34,485
you can all leave now,
82
00:04:35,445 --> 00:04:37,045
and nobody will be hurt.
83
00:04:50,325 --> 00:04:51,525
You'll be hurt.
84
00:06:14,045 --> 00:06:20,565
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
85
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,445
- Mm, nice office.
- It's a bit lonely.
86
00:06:40,085 --> 00:06:41,482
That was why I was so pleased when
they said
87
00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:43,341
I finally had a job on Earth.
88
00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:45,341
Don't you ever see anyone here?
89
00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:48,765
Well, every few hundred years
someone comes and asks me for something.
90
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:52,123
You're not really under arrest, are you?
91
00:06:52,147 --> 00:06:53,741
Not really, no.
92
00:06:53,765 --> 00:06:56,245
I'm helping you, aren't I?
93
00:06:56,885 --> 00:06:57,885
Yeah.
94
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:02,825
- I'm going to get into so much trouble.
- You think so?
95
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,357
Well then, let's make it worthwhile.
96
00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:09,725
What have you got on Gabriel?
97
00:07:26,325 --> 00:07:28,861
It's all confidential.
I can't show it to you.
98
00:07:28,885 --> 00:07:31,141
I mean,
I couldn't open it if I wanted to.
99
00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,741
I don't have clearance.
100
00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:35,205
You'd have to be a throne
or a dominion, or above.
101
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,741
- How did you do that?
- I haven't always been a demon,
102
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,445
and they never change their passwords.
103
00:07:52,164 --> 00:07:55,245
Go on, you idiots. Get them!
104
00:08:12,765 --> 00:08:15,141
They aren't gonna
keep walking into the circle forever.
105
00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:16,821
Even demons aren't that stupid.
106
00:08:16,845 --> 00:08:18,061
So, what's your plan?
107
00:08:18,085 --> 00:08:20,421
Well, that was it.
I didn't have another bit.
108
00:08:24,365 --> 00:08:26,725
Uh... this way, quickly.
109
00:08:29,525 --> 00:08:30,941
Why do they keep blowing up?
110
00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:33,900
Well, it's all a bit complicated.
The circle, it's a gateway,
111
00:08:33,924 --> 00:08:36,181
but if you step into it
and you aren't prepared,
112
00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:38,501
it can discorporate you completely.
113
00:08:38,525 --> 00:08:40,501
Does what you say
make sense in your head?
114
00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:44,125
Stop where you are!
115
00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:46,205
And so...
116
00:08:48,085 --> 00:08:49,141
it ends.
117
00:08:49,165 --> 00:08:51,221
Everything ends.
118
00:08:51,245 --> 00:08:53,765
Time and the world
119
00:08:54,365 --> 00:08:55,501
is over,
120
00:08:55,525 --> 00:08:57,725
and we begin eternity...
121
00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:00,885
forever and ever.
122
00:09:02,165 --> 00:09:03,221
Amen.
123
00:09:03,245 --> 00:09:04,765
- Amen.
- Amen.
124
00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:07,005
Nah.
125
00:09:09,885 --> 00:09:10,885
Nah?
126
00:09:11,765 --> 00:09:12,765
Yep.
127
00:09:13,645 --> 00:09:14,645
Nah.
128
00:09:15,405 --> 00:09:19,101
Nah to the final victory
of Heaven on Earth?
129
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,125
Sorry, just not seeing it this time.
130
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,301
Pass.
131
00:09:23,325 --> 00:09:28,105
And may I ask why you're not seeing it?
132
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,485
Surely.
133
00:09:30,485 --> 00:09:32,325
- Why?
- I told you you could ask.
134
00:09:33,085 --> 00:09:36,181
However, I am the only
first-order archangel in the room,
135
00:09:36,205 --> 00:09:38,385
or, you know, the universe,
136
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,981
so I'm not gonna answer so much.
137
00:09:41,005 --> 00:09:43,605
But you feel free to knock yourself out
with all the asking.
138
00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:47,061
Anyway, Armageddon the sequel,
139
00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:48,525
that's a nah.
140
00:09:49,525 --> 00:09:51,101
What's next on the agenda?
141
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,525
- The cleaning roster.
- Okay!
142
00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:55,725
What have you got?
143
00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:58,621
I think we've struck gold.
144
00:09:58,645 --> 00:09:59,645
Push!
145
00:10:12,765 --> 00:10:15,045
- It's working!
- Well, yeah!
146
00:10:22,965 --> 00:10:24,885
There's even more
fire extinguishers up here.
147
00:10:28,645 --> 00:10:30,101
Why all the fire extinguishers?
148
00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:33,085
Uh, well, there was
a fire here once, you see.
149
00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:36,885
And, um... well, books can go up like...
150
00:10:37,765 --> 00:10:40,301
- Well, anyway...
- Brilliant
151
00:10:40,325 --> 00:10:41,765
Got any of that spray foam?
152
00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:48,261
So, Gabriel refused point blank
to entertain another Armageddon?
153
00:10:48,285 --> 00:10:49,845
Doesn't sound like him at all.
154
00:10:50,645 --> 00:10:51,885
Any idea why not?
155
00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:54,941
Not yet. They had a sort of trial.
156
00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:58,045
It was a real trial.
It didn't take long, though.
157
00:10:58,805 --> 00:10:59,861
Hello, Crowley.
158
00:11:00,052 --> 00:11:02,412
I didn't expect to ever see you again.
159
00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:04,341
Do we know each other?
160
00:11:04,365 --> 00:11:05,861
When you were an angel.
161
00:11:05,885 --> 00:11:07,965
We worked together
on the Horsehead Nebula.
162
00:11:08,725 --> 00:11:11,125
I meet a lot of people.
163
00:11:11,913 --> 00:11:12,935
Muriel,
164
00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:16,701
you're the last person I'd expect
to see collaborating with the enemy.
165
00:11:16,725 --> 00:11:17,765
- Oh.
- Um...
166
00:11:18,365 --> 00:11:21,381
I suppose, from some points of view,
this could look bad,
167
00:11:21,405 --> 00:11:23,605
- but I did arrest him.
- No, you didn't.
168
00:11:24,805 --> 00:11:27,101
Well, don't let me interrupt you. Go on.
169
00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:28,285
Show him the trial.
170
00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:33,141
Shax, I charge you to leave this place,
171
00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:35,501
with all your people,
172
00:11:35,525 --> 00:11:38,365
and to jolly well hurry up about it,
173
00:11:39,005 --> 00:11:41,981
or I'm going to have to take
174
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,325
severe measures.
175
00:11:44,045 --> 00:11:47,341
Aziraphale, what are you?
176
00:11:47,365 --> 00:11:50,941
Crowley's emotional support angel?
177
00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:54,605
The softest touch.
The one who went native.
178
00:11:55,205 --> 00:11:58,525
Do you need more
big human meals, Aziraphale?
179
00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:01,701
Shall we send up the sushi?
180
00:12:01,725 --> 00:12:04,981
Give us Gabriel.
181
00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:06,941
Give him to us now.
182
00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:09,261
- Sometimes people call me Gabriel.
- Shh.
183
00:12:09,285 --> 00:12:11,381
And tell that moron
184
00:12:11,405 --> 00:12:14,181
to stop interrupting.
185
00:12:14,205 --> 00:12:16,101
Jim, go... go to your room.
You'll be safer there.
186
00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:19,181
Okay. Good night.
Does anybody want any hot chocolate?
187
00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,245
- No.
- Go.
188
00:12:46,605 --> 00:12:49,581
Gabriel, Supreme Archangel,
189
00:12:49,605 --> 00:12:52,861
you have refused to exercise
your celestial authority
190
00:12:52,885 --> 00:12:56,685
and you are henceforth
removed from office.
191
00:12:57,285 --> 00:12:59,205
I see. You're casting me down to Hell.
192
00:13:00,485 --> 00:13:02,261
Well, I accept my fate.
193
00:13:02,285 --> 00:13:04,501
Sometimes an angel just has to say,
194
00:13:04,525 --> 00:13:06,781
"Guys, enough."
195
00:13:06,805 --> 00:13:09,181
- Even though...
- No speeches, Gabriel.
196
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,501
You are not going to Hell.
197
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:15,741
For one prince of Heaven
to be cast into the outer darkness
198
00:13:15,765 --> 00:13:17,301
makes a good story.
199
00:13:17,325 --> 00:13:18,981
For it to happen twice,
200
00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:23,661
makes it look like there is
some kind of institutional problem.
201
00:13:23,685 --> 00:13:24,861
Which there isn't.
202
00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:27,501
Which, needless to say, there isn't.
203
00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:30,221
You will, I am sure
you'll be glad to learn,
204
00:13:30,245 --> 00:13:32,045
remain an angel.
205
00:13:32,565 --> 00:13:34,101
Although, as a kindness,
206
00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:38,141
your memory of your time as Gabriel
will be erased.
207
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,885
You will be demoted
208
00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:43,205
to junior recording angel,
209
00:13:43,965 --> 00:13:45,821
38th class.
210
00:13:45,845 --> 00:13:49,301
Oh, that's pretty good,
actually. I'm 37th class.
211
00:13:49,325 --> 00:13:51,421
I didn't know that there was one down.
212
00:13:51,445 --> 00:13:54,181
I see. Well, all good things.
213
00:13:54,205 --> 00:13:57,301
Uh, just one thing.
These clothes are tailored.
214
00:13:57,325 --> 00:13:58,661
Can I keep wearing them?
215
00:13:58,685 --> 00:14:02,061
Appropriate raiment
will be provided for you, Gabriel.
216
00:14:02,085 --> 00:14:04,845
- These clothes?
- Are not appropriate.
217
00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:07,786
Got it. Well, I'll just need to take off
my clothes
218
00:14:07,810 --> 00:14:09,061
and clean out my desk, then.
219
00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:11,365
- You have a desk?
- Yes, I do.
220
00:14:13,405 --> 00:14:15,645
I'll just need a...
221
00:14:17,005 --> 00:14:18,005
I'll be right back.
222
00:14:26,845 --> 00:14:29,381
- Can we throw books at them?
- I'd rather you didn't.
223
00:14:29,405 --> 00:14:32,181
Obviously no fiction, but encyclopedias?
224
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,005
- It's all online these days anyway.
- Oh, if you must.
225
00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:37,325
Ah!
226
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:42,165
Ah!
227
00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:01,885
What? What's he...
228
00:15:11,565 --> 00:15:13,085
Doors opening.
229
00:15:15,725 --> 00:15:18,205
- He dropped it!
- Doors closing.
230
00:15:18,805 --> 00:15:19,845
Going down.
231
00:15:27,485 --> 00:15:28,621
What's keeping him?
232
00:15:28,645 --> 00:15:31,221
I believe he's taking off his clothes
and cleaning out his desk.
233
00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:34,661
Uriel, he doesn't have a desk.
234
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:37,981
I don't trust him.
Can we begin the memory wipe now?
235
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,165
What, without him here?
236
00:15:41,685 --> 00:15:43,805
- Good idea.
- Right.
237
00:15:46,205 --> 00:15:49,581
I can't... I can't
find his memory anywhere.
238
00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:52,701
In fact,
I can't find him in the building.
239
00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:54,181
He's left Heaven.
240
00:15:54,205 --> 00:15:57,405
- Should I sound an alert?
- Oh, don't be so wet.
241
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:02,085
No, you're all just
going to have to find him. That's all.
242
00:16:02,965 --> 00:16:07,325
Stop lollygagging, you cowards.
Get back up those stairs.
243
00:16:08,325 --> 00:16:09,703
Fire extinguishers
have all been emptied,
244
00:16:09,727 --> 00:16:11,021
and we're out of encyclopedias.
245
00:16:11,045 --> 00:16:12,605
We can't... We can't stop them.
246
00:16:13,525 --> 00:16:14,525
What do we do?
247
00:16:16,085 --> 00:16:17,965
Desperate measures must be taken.
248
00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:32,925
I haven't done this since the Great War.
249
00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:38,165
It's something we're only
meant to do when we're actually
250
00:16:38,725 --> 00:16:41,821
on a wartime... footing.
251
00:17:25,965 --> 00:17:27,405
What did you just do?
252
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:29,205
I think...
253
00:17:30,445 --> 00:17:32,565
I may have just started a war.
254
00:17:33,925 --> 00:17:36,301
What just happened?
255
00:17:36,325 --> 00:17:38,661
I think your friend
just declared war on Hell.
256
00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:41,421
This could get very messy.
257
00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:44,541
Ugh, right, come on!
Let's get back there.
258
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:45,781
You too.
259
00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,061
Funny old world, isn't it?
260
00:18:03,445 --> 00:18:04,445
Hello?
261
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,085
Anybody here?
262
00:18:07,245 --> 00:18:08,245
You came back.
263
00:18:11,445 --> 00:18:13,541
What did you do to them all?
264
00:18:13,565 --> 00:18:15,181
I did the thing with the halo.
265
00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:18,141
- You what?
- I did the thing with the halo.
266
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:21,061
You... You blew up your halo?
267
00:18:21,085 --> 00:18:24,805
Ooh, Hell won't like that.
268
00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:39,741
We are at war! Finally!
269
00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:41,741
Nobody's at war.
270
00:18:41,765 --> 00:18:45,925
You idiots sent an idiot to lead
a gang of idiots to attack a bookshop.
271
00:18:46,965 --> 00:18:50,461
Those idiots there want their
archangel back so they can fire him.
272
00:18:56,805 --> 00:18:58,085
Nice job, Shax.
273
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,405
Beautifully done.
274
00:19:01,285 --> 00:19:03,325
Remind me to put in
for your commendation.
275
00:19:05,805 --> 00:19:07,765
- Sarcasm, yes?
- Yep.
276
00:19:08,405 --> 00:19:09,405
I'm afraid so.
277
00:19:14,325 --> 00:19:18,421
- If it is to be war...
- No, no, no, no, no war.
278
00:19:18,445 --> 00:19:20,645
Aziraphale, let's sort this out.
Where's the cardboard box?
279
00:19:21,485 --> 00:19:24,085
- What box?
- The one Gabriel arrived with.
280
00:19:25,325 --> 00:19:27,661
Gabriel? He's here?
281
00:19:27,685 --> 00:19:29,132
Sometimes people call me Gabriel.
282
00:19:29,156 --> 00:19:32,261
Yeah, we did a thing... hiding miracle.
283
00:19:32,285 --> 00:19:35,141
Apparently, if we do a miracle together,
it all works a bit too well.
284
00:19:35,165 --> 00:19:38,621
- Careful. Could be a trap.
- It's a cardboard box.
285
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,805
It's not going to bite you.
286
00:19:50,085 --> 00:19:52,685
Oh, there we go. I thought
that's what you were doing.
287
00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:55,901
- What was I doing?
- You were writing a message.
288
00:19:55,925 --> 00:19:58,301
Oh, probably to yourself,
on the bottom of the box.
289
00:19:58,325 --> 00:20:00,781
"I am in the fly."
290
00:20:00,805 --> 00:20:02,085
What fly?
291
00:20:03,525 --> 00:20:04,725
Lord Beelzebub,
292
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,725
I believe flies are your department.
293
00:20:07,525 --> 00:20:08,525
Mm.
294
00:20:10,925 --> 00:20:13,885
There's only one fly here,
and it's familiar.
295
00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:18,645
Come here. Come on.
296
00:20:20,565 --> 00:20:23,405
Good boy.
297
00:20:25,405 --> 00:20:27,501
No wonder nobody could find you.
298
00:20:27,525 --> 00:20:30,485
This is where you were
keeping all your memories.
299
00:20:31,085 --> 00:20:33,245
All your... you.
300
00:20:34,805 --> 00:20:35,805
Look at you.
301
00:20:38,045 --> 00:20:39,405
You're perfect.
302
00:20:40,885 --> 00:20:41,885
Here.
303
00:20:42,925 --> 00:20:43,925
Take it.
304
00:20:44,885 --> 00:20:46,805
Gently.
305
00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:52,205
Now...
306
00:20:54,085 --> 00:20:55,085
open it.
307
00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:15,061
How I am supposed to get
ten million angels to stand down
308
00:21:15,085 --> 00:21:17,205
from their war footing is...
309
00:21:17,765 --> 00:21:19,021
It doesn't bear thinking about.
310
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:20,781
You should try to get ten million demons
311
00:21:20,805 --> 00:21:23,205
to put down their weapons
and go back to work.
312
00:21:24,045 --> 00:21:26,525
Well,
at least we know whose fault it is!
313
00:21:35,005 --> 00:21:37,501
You can't sit there,
I'm waiting for someone.
314
00:21:37,525 --> 00:21:40,085
- You're waiting for me.
- I don't think so.
315
00:21:41,165 --> 00:21:42,421
New face.
316
00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:44,215
I had the old one for 6,000 years.
317
00:21:44,239 --> 00:21:45,621
I just thought it was time for a change.
318
00:21:45,645 --> 00:21:47,925
- I don't know who you are.
- Come on, it's me.
319
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:51,325
Beelzebub. Lord of the Flies.
320
00:21:52,685 --> 00:21:53,685
Watch.
321
00:21:58,845 --> 00:22:00,981
- There you go.
- Why did you wanna meet me here?
322
00:22:01,005 --> 00:22:02,741
Well, if we're gonna have
background talks,
323
00:22:02,765 --> 00:22:05,061
they can't be in either
of our home territories.
324
00:22:05,085 --> 00:22:07,205
And what do we need to discuss?
325
00:22:08,645 --> 00:22:10,021
Arma-bloody-geddon.
326
00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:12,781
That was a complete
and utter pain in the ass.
327
00:22:12,805 --> 00:22:15,981
- I know, but we are ready for round two.
- As are we.
328
00:22:16,005 --> 00:22:18,661
Utterly ready. Armageddon, here we come.
329
00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:20,965
Arma-bloody-geddon. Arma-bloody-geddon.
330
00:22:22,045 --> 00:22:23,485
Ah.
331
00:22:24,765 --> 00:22:26,501
- Well, you lost.
- So did you.
332
00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:28,301
- No, we didn't.
- Well, you didn't win.
333
00:22:28,325 --> 00:22:30,021
Tell me about it.
334
00:22:30,045 --> 00:22:32,141
Everyone in Heaven is all like,
"Well, you're the commander-in-chief,
335
00:22:32,165 --> 00:22:34,301
can't you just make the war
happen anyway?" Like, I make the rules.
336
00:22:34,325 --> 00:22:36,245
That's exactly what my lot said.
337
00:22:37,045 --> 00:22:38,381
Well,
338
00:22:38,405 --> 00:22:40,605
it's good to know there's someone
who understands. Thank you.
339
00:22:42,045 --> 00:22:43,565
It's a pity we'll never speak again.
340
00:22:52,845 --> 00:22:54,421
I have a proposal to make.
341
00:22:56,605 --> 00:22:58,965
Instead of Armageddon, what about...
342
00:23:00,965 --> 00:23:02,045
no Armageddon?
343
00:23:04,605 --> 00:23:06,045
An interesting proposal.
344
00:23:07,805 --> 00:23:08,925
No Armageddon.
345
00:23:10,565 --> 00:23:11,981
They won't like that, though.
346
00:23:12,005 --> 00:23:15,181
Most of my demons live for Armageddon,
if you can call that living.
347
00:23:15,205 --> 00:23:18,045
Well, my angels too.
But you can't always get what you...
348
00:23:19,245 --> 00:23:20,245
live for.
349
00:23:20,725 --> 00:23:22,661
Advantages to no Armageddon?
350
00:23:22,685 --> 00:23:26,925
We keep the status quo,
static and, um, quo-ey.
351
00:23:30,045 --> 00:23:32,245
- No one can ever know, of course.
- Of course.
352
00:23:33,805 --> 00:23:34,845
A deal?
353
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,261
Mm.
354
00:23:43,125 --> 00:23:44,425
I like this song.
355
00:23:45,965 --> 00:23:47,005
Song?
356
00:23:47,645 --> 00:23:49,621
- The music that's playing now.
- What music?
357
00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:51,141
The noise.
358
00:23:51,165 --> 00:23:52,645
That's music?
359
00:23:54,085 --> 00:23:55,085
I like it.
360
00:23:56,325 --> 00:23:58,965
Contains information in a tuneful way.
361
00:24:00,645 --> 00:24:03,125
Every day something is getting closer.
362
00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:08,461
Then, um... Then I also like it.
363
00:24:08,485 --> 00:24:12,861
♪ Love like yours
Will surely come my way ♪
364
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:15,221
♪ A-hey, a-hey, hey ♪
365
00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:20,485
♪ Love like yours
Will surely come my way ♪
366
00:24:24,285 --> 00:24:25,325
So...
367
00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:27,485
agreement concluded.
368
00:24:29,285 --> 00:24:31,205
No need to ever meet again, is there?
369
00:24:33,925 --> 00:24:35,301
None whatsoever.
370
00:24:45,765 --> 00:24:46,965
Let there be light.
371
00:24:48,725 --> 00:24:50,165
I think the sculptor
really caught something.
372
00:24:50,885 --> 00:24:52,085
The shape of the head.
373
00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:55,181
Beautiful. Really moving.
374
00:24:55,205 --> 00:24:56,685
It's a very good likeness.
375
00:24:58,245 --> 00:25:00,365
Sometimes I come here
for hours and just...
376
00:25:01,445 --> 00:25:02,445
look at it.
377
00:25:07,605 --> 00:25:10,805
Right. Shall we go to the pub?
378
00:25:15,805 --> 00:25:20,141
Two goblets of your intoxicating liquor,
please. And, uh...
379
00:25:20,165 --> 00:25:21,981
- Packet of crisps.
- Very good, sir.
380
00:25:22,005 --> 00:25:24,325
Which liquor would that be?
381
00:25:24,965 --> 00:25:28,605
Whichever one it is you humans
usually orally consume.
382
00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:30,821
Two pints of regular, then.
383
00:25:37,325 --> 00:25:38,365
What's that?
384
00:25:39,045 --> 00:25:41,085
A classic 1960s jukebox.
385
00:25:41,765 --> 00:25:43,765
You don't see many of them these days.
386
00:25:44,645 --> 00:25:47,141
You just put your money in
and tell it what you want to hear.
387
00:25:47,165 --> 00:25:48,165
Oh...
388
00:25:48,885 --> 00:25:49,925
You people.
389
00:25:50,725 --> 00:25:51,765
Amazing.
390
00:25:56,565 --> 00:25:57,565
Ha!
391
00:25:59,445 --> 00:26:01,781
♪ Everyday it's a-gettin' closer ♪
392
00:26:01,805 --> 00:26:05,301
♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪
393
00:26:05,325 --> 00:26:09,605
♪ Love like yours
will surely come my way... ♪
394
00:26:10,285 --> 00:26:11,525
Here you go.
395
00:26:15,165 --> 00:26:17,301
- You don't actually have to consume.
- Oh.
396
00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:20,621
- And the...
- Oh, packet of crisps? Good.
397
00:26:20,645 --> 00:26:24,485
♪ ...yours will surely come my way ♪
398
00:26:25,485 --> 00:26:27,165
Is that... Did you...
399
00:26:28,125 --> 00:26:30,021
- A small miracle.
- Oh.
400
00:26:30,045 --> 00:26:33,261
That song will always be there
on that jukebox,
401
00:26:33,285 --> 00:26:35,605
- to comfort the afflicted.
- Mmm.
402
00:26:39,365 --> 00:26:40,845
I should give you something.
403
00:26:44,685 --> 00:26:46,885
Here. It's for you.
404
00:26:47,725 --> 00:26:49,085
You never know when you'll need it.
405
00:26:50,045 --> 00:26:52,381
It's a container, so...
406
00:26:52,405 --> 00:26:55,765
it's bigger on the inside.
You can put things in it.
407
00:27:02,445 --> 00:27:04,605
Bye-bye.
408
00:27:12,845 --> 00:27:14,525
I don't actually know what to say.
409
00:27:15,525 --> 00:27:16,525
Why not?
410
00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:21,365
No one's ever given me anything before.
411
00:27:24,805 --> 00:27:26,381
♪ ...seems a little longer ♪
412
00:27:26,405 --> 00:27:28,805
♪ Every way, love's a little... ♪
413
00:27:44,565 --> 00:27:45,605
Aziraphale.
414
00:27:50,205 --> 00:27:51,525
Michael, Uriel.
415
00:27:52,525 --> 00:27:54,365
- Don't tell me.
- I won't.
416
00:27:57,565 --> 00:27:59,221
- It's Saraqael!
- Saraqael!
417
00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:01,381
Yes, I knew that. Of course it is
418
00:28:03,525 --> 00:28:04,965
Oh, eesh.
419
00:28:05,845 --> 00:28:06,845
You guys.
420
00:28:09,765 --> 00:28:10,765
You.
421
00:28:12,645 --> 00:28:14,565
Thank you.
422
00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:17,285
Silly, silly angel.
423
00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:19,365
Why?
424
00:28:20,205 --> 00:28:22,765
I was coming to you, but...
425
00:28:23,845 --> 00:28:25,045
I...
426
00:28:26,125 --> 00:28:27,445
forgot.
427
00:28:29,685 --> 00:28:32,381
Well, I think Aziraphale probably
took much better care of you
428
00:28:32,405 --> 00:28:33,781
than I could've done.
429
00:28:33,805 --> 00:28:34,845
Beelzebub!
430
00:28:35,605 --> 00:28:37,421
You traitor!
431
00:28:37,445 --> 00:28:39,165
Collaborating with Heaven?
432
00:28:39,645 --> 00:28:41,501
I didn't collaborate with Heaven
433
00:28:41,525 --> 00:28:44,605
any more than
Gabriel collaborated with Hell.
434
00:28:47,645 --> 00:28:50,965
I just found something that
mattered more to me than choosing sides.
435
00:28:54,725 --> 00:28:57,221
That's really sweet.
436
00:28:59,085 --> 00:29:00,732
Enough to make you believe in true love.
437
00:29:00,756 --> 00:29:01,825
Mortals?
438
00:29:02,285 --> 00:29:05,101
What are mortals doing here?
Someone turn them into pillars of salt.
439
00:29:05,125 --> 00:29:06,781
- Saraqael.
- I'm on it.
440
00:29:06,805 --> 00:29:09,181
That... That won't be necessary.
I'll see to this.
441
00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:10,965
Maggie, Nina, you come with me.
442
00:29:12,445 --> 00:29:13,781
You got this?
443
00:29:13,805 --> 00:29:16,101
Oh, um, absolutely, yes.
444
00:29:21,085 --> 00:29:23,581
Just don't, uh,
tell anybody about any of this.
445
00:29:23,605 --> 00:29:25,701
Not that anyone would
ever believe a word of it.
446
00:29:25,725 --> 00:29:27,621
Oh, God, I should've been open
half an hour ago.
447
00:29:27,645 --> 00:29:29,621
How can you think about that
after all this?
448
00:29:29,645 --> 00:29:31,861
People need coffee, I sell coffee,
it's my coffee shop.
449
00:29:31,885 --> 00:29:34,061
- I should be open by now.
- Right, nice knowing you both.
450
00:29:34,085 --> 00:29:35,141
Let's say goodbye forever
451
00:29:35,165 --> 00:29:36,885
and pretend none of this
ever happened, yeah?
452
00:29:38,765 --> 00:29:41,685
Oh. Some of us
have been working all night, you know.
453
00:29:48,365 --> 00:29:49,645
Where did you come from?
454
00:29:53,605 --> 00:29:54,701
I don't remember.
455
00:29:54,725 --> 00:29:57,621
Good call.
Never tell them how it's done,
456
00:29:57,645 --> 00:30:00,325
unless they pay you for it first.
Here, pick a card.
457
00:30:03,525 --> 00:30:06,245
I'm going to my shop,
to sleep behind the counter.
458
00:30:07,645 --> 00:30:10,005
Unless you'd like some help?
459
00:30:11,325 --> 00:30:13,501
Could you nip down the mini mart
and pick me up some cream,
460
00:30:13,525 --> 00:30:15,421
oat milk, soy milk, and almond milk?
461
00:30:15,445 --> 00:30:16,805
Mm. I'm on it.
462
00:30:22,725 --> 00:30:23,901
I can't hear you.
463
00:30:25,765 --> 00:30:27,925
Can we have... Please, can we have a...
464
00:30:33,685 --> 00:30:35,541
I've had quite enough of this.
465
00:30:35,565 --> 00:30:37,765
You will speak one at a time.
466
00:30:42,325 --> 00:30:46,141
I demand that you handover
both Gabriel and Beelzebub
467
00:30:46,165 --> 00:30:49,445
as gifts for Satan, our master.
468
00:30:50,045 --> 00:30:51,125
He won't want them.
469
00:30:52,085 --> 00:30:53,501
Maybe as hors d'oeuvres.
470
00:30:53,525 --> 00:30:56,061
And I demand you hand them over to us,
471
00:30:56,085 --> 00:30:58,021
to face celestial punishment.
472
00:30:58,045 --> 00:31:00,181
Obviously we would be
reserving the option
473
00:31:00,205 --> 00:31:02,341
to send them both to Hell
as our punishment.
474
00:31:02,365 --> 00:31:04,341
But we'd be the ones doing it.
475
00:31:04,365 --> 00:31:06,045
Why don't we ask them
476
00:31:06,765 --> 00:31:08,101
where they'd like to go?
477
00:31:08,125 --> 00:31:09,661
Oh, this is ridiculous.
478
00:31:09,685 --> 00:31:11,541
No, there are precedents.
479
00:31:11,565 --> 00:31:13,341
Hell doing Heaven's punishing for you.
480
00:31:13,365 --> 00:31:16,101
Job, that was one.
Lovely man, never met him.
481
00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:17,125
Um, Gabriel,
482
00:31:18,005 --> 00:31:19,005
Beelzebub,
483
00:31:20,445 --> 00:31:21,485
what do you want?
484
00:31:23,725 --> 00:31:25,605
I would like...
485
00:31:26,965 --> 00:31:28,005
better clothes,
486
00:31:29,125 --> 00:31:31,381
and I would like to be with Beelzebub.
487
00:31:31,405 --> 00:31:34,261
Wherever Beelzebub is... is my Heaven.
488
00:31:34,285 --> 00:31:35,381
Mm-hmm.
489
00:31:35,405 --> 00:31:38,381
And where you are,
my sweet, is forever my Hell.
490
00:31:38,405 --> 00:31:40,981
You know, Alpha Centauri's nice.
491
00:31:41,005 --> 00:31:42,165
Always wanted to go there.
492
00:31:42,925 --> 00:31:45,701
Couple of decent planets.
No nightlife to speak of.
493
00:31:45,725 --> 00:31:47,061
If you leave,
494
00:31:47,085 --> 00:31:48,485
you can never come back.
495
00:31:49,165 --> 00:31:51,461
- That would be the point.
- If you flee,
496
00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:52,861
traitor,
497
00:31:52,885 --> 00:31:56,421
Hell will send all its legions
to hunt you down.
498
00:31:56,445 --> 00:32:00,901
You know as well as I do how
badly understaffed Hell is right now.
499
00:32:00,925 --> 00:32:03,205
Anyway, with me not there, Shax,
500
00:32:03,845 --> 00:32:05,805
you could be the next
Grand Duke of Hell.
501
00:32:08,005 --> 00:32:09,661
Grand Duke of Hell.
502
00:32:09,685 --> 00:32:11,941
Angels and Demons, they can't just...
503
00:32:11,965 --> 00:32:16,061
♪ Everyday, it's a-getting closer ♪
504
00:32:16,085 --> 00:32:20,621
♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪
505
00:32:20,645 --> 00:32:22,941
♪ Love like yours will ♪
506
00:32:22,965 --> 00:32:25,821
♪ Surely come my way ♪
507
00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:28,685
♪ A-hey, a-hey-hey ♪
508
00:32:29,565 --> 00:32:32,501
Ah, if you're going back to Hell,
can I get my flat back?
509
00:32:32,525 --> 00:32:34,861
- Who the hell cares?
- I care!
510
00:32:34,885 --> 00:32:36,581
I'm bored of living in my car.
511
00:32:36,605 --> 00:32:39,301
And I don't think
my car's much of a fan of it either.
512
00:32:39,325 --> 00:32:41,221
I believe the Dark Council
513
00:32:41,245 --> 00:32:44,781
will have something to say
about all this nonsense.
514
00:32:44,805 --> 00:32:48,021
Well, I'm sure they'll be thrilled
that the mighty Shax
515
00:32:48,045 --> 00:32:51,005
has uncovered a traitor in our midst.
516
00:32:59,405 --> 00:33:00,845
Let's find out, shall we?
517
00:33:07,325 --> 00:33:09,901
Order accurately and fast.
I haven't slept in 30 hours
518
00:33:09,925 --> 00:33:12,165
and I will not hesitate to mock you
if I don't like your order.
519
00:33:13,285 --> 00:33:14,861
Yes, I quite understand.
520
00:33:14,885 --> 00:33:16,085
I'd like a...
521
00:33:16,685 --> 00:33:19,461
large oat milk latte
522
00:33:19,485 --> 00:33:22,685
with a dash of almond syrup, please.
523
00:33:23,685 --> 00:33:24,685
Coming up.
524
00:33:25,245 --> 00:33:27,821
Do people ever ask for death?
525
00:33:27,845 --> 00:33:28,925
What?
526
00:33:29,445 --> 00:33:31,078
Well, the name of your establishment,
527
00:33:31,102 --> 00:33:33,701
"Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death."
528
00:33:33,725 --> 00:33:35,765
I assume they always ask for coffee.
529
00:33:36,445 --> 00:33:37,981
They don't ever ask for death, no.
530
00:33:38,005 --> 00:33:39,885
No, I don't suppose they do.
531
00:33:41,285 --> 00:33:42,485
So predictable.
532
00:33:43,125 --> 00:33:46,021
I am authorized to remove
the name of anyone
533
00:33:46,045 --> 00:33:48,461
who helped Gabriel
from the Book of Life.
534
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:51,421
You will never have existed, Aziraphale.
535
00:33:52,525 --> 00:33:53,901
In the absence of Gabriel,
536
00:33:53,925 --> 00:33:56,381
- I am the Supreme Archangel.
- Duty officer.
537
00:33:56,405 --> 00:33:58,141
- And I...
- Excuse me, I'm sorry,
538
00:33:58,165 --> 00:34:00,165
I must interrupt you there.
539
00:34:00,725 --> 00:34:01,941
Um...
540
00:34:01,965 --> 00:34:04,581
Oh, and I've brought over a coffee.
541
00:34:04,605 --> 00:34:07,021
I don't believe I asked
for any interruptions.
542
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:10,620
I couldn't help it.
You're talking utter balderdash.
543
00:34:10,644 --> 00:34:12,164
I mean, complete piffle!
544
00:34:12,965 --> 00:34:15,861
You don't have the authority
to do anything like that.
545
00:34:15,885 --> 00:34:17,845
Um, and who are you?
546
00:34:18,605 --> 00:34:20,164
For Heaven's sake.
547
00:34:20,845 --> 00:34:24,085
And I mean that most literally.
You don't know me?
548
00:34:24,925 --> 00:34:28,741
Well, uh, what about you, Demon?
Do you know me?
549
00:34:28,765 --> 00:34:31,341
- Get him out of here!
- Really?
550
00:34:31,365 --> 00:34:32,821
Oh, I know you.
551
00:34:32,845 --> 00:34:36,164
Last time I saw you, you were a big,
floating giant head, man.
552
00:34:36,965 --> 00:34:37,965
Oh!
553
00:34:38,845 --> 00:34:39,941
The Metatron.
554
00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:41,140
Correct!
555
00:34:41,164 --> 00:34:43,605
This calls much less attention, though.
556
00:34:44,325 --> 00:34:48,045
Right, you, you, you, back to Heaven,
spit, spot, not another word.
557
00:34:48,605 --> 00:34:50,925
Ah-ah-ah! Not you.
558
00:34:51,644 --> 00:34:55,164
Um... Your... Your Reverence, your...
559
00:34:55,925 --> 00:34:58,085
- You Grace, your...
- Oh, come on, spit it out.
560
00:34:59,485 --> 00:35:01,045
Have we done anything wrong?
561
00:35:01,845 --> 00:35:04,885
Well, that remains
to be seen, does it not?
562
00:35:06,285 --> 00:35:08,541
Well, go on, off you go, the lot of you!
563
00:35:08,565 --> 00:35:11,501
Except the dim one.
564
00:35:11,525 --> 00:35:13,445
I may need you.
565
00:35:18,685 --> 00:35:19,685
Right.
566
00:35:20,765 --> 00:35:23,685
It's just you and me, Aziraphale, eh?
567
00:35:24,645 --> 00:35:27,645
I think we need to have
a bit of a chinwag,
568
00:35:28,565 --> 00:35:29,861
don't you?
569
00:35:29,885 --> 00:35:32,141
I don't believe there's
anything left to be said.
570
00:35:32,165 --> 00:35:34,021
I've made my position quite clear.
571
00:35:34,045 --> 00:35:36,141
Yeah, well, I brought you
a coffee from the shop.
572
00:35:36,165 --> 00:35:39,021
It's an oat milk latte
573
00:35:39,045 --> 00:35:41,885
with a hefty jigger of almond syrup.
574
00:35:43,125 --> 00:35:45,885
- You brought me a coffee?
- Are you going to take it?
575
00:35:49,525 --> 00:35:51,485
- Shall I?
- Drink it?
576
00:35:52,325 --> 00:35:53,325
Of course.
577
00:35:54,005 --> 00:35:57,045
I've ingested things in my time,
you know.
578
00:35:58,085 --> 00:36:00,821
It's... It's very nice.
579
00:36:00,845 --> 00:36:02,845
Yes, I should jolly well hope so.
580
00:36:03,885 --> 00:36:05,981
Well, we have things to talk about.
581
00:36:06,005 --> 00:36:08,141
Shall we take a little stroll?
582
00:36:08,165 --> 00:36:09,165
Um...
583
00:36:09,765 --> 00:36:12,085
Mm. Go on. They can't get any weirder.
584
00:36:31,045 --> 00:36:32,045
Oh.
585
00:36:33,165 --> 00:36:34,645
You should leave now too.
586
00:36:35,885 --> 00:36:38,045
The Metatron told me to wait.
587
00:36:38,965 --> 00:36:40,861
He said he might need me.
588
00:36:40,885 --> 00:36:43,165
Me! He might need me.
589
00:36:43,845 --> 00:36:45,645
Marvelous. Have a gold star.
590
00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:48,621
- They'll be back soon.
- Yes.
591
00:36:48,645 --> 00:36:52,165
When Aziraphale does come back,
I think we need a little us time.
592
00:36:52,965 --> 00:36:56,485
After all this, I think we are going for
593
00:36:57,165 --> 00:37:01,901
an extremely alcoholic breakfast
at the Ritz.
594
00:37:01,925 --> 00:37:04,101
Brilliant idea!
595
00:37:04,125 --> 00:37:06,261
Breakfast. Us time.
596
00:37:06,285 --> 00:37:08,165
Just us. Not you.
597
00:37:09,405 --> 00:37:12,381
Oh. Oh, right, yes.
598
00:37:12,405 --> 00:37:14,861
I can, um, explore the bookshop.
599
00:37:16,565 --> 00:37:19,125
Um... you need to go.
600
00:37:20,445 --> 00:37:23,141
Can I... Can I take a book with me?
601
00:37:23,165 --> 00:37:25,381
I was looking at one earlier.
602
00:37:25,405 --> 00:37:27,485
They're like people, only portable.
603
00:37:29,525 --> 00:37:31,645
Go for it. Here, you'll like this one.
604
00:37:33,165 --> 00:37:35,821
- No, it won't do any good.
- It doesn't matter.
605
00:37:35,845 --> 00:37:37,685
We have to tell them.
606
00:37:39,005 --> 00:37:40,101
Fine.
607
00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:42,445
Anyone wants anything,
tell 'em we'll be back in five minutes.
608
00:37:43,005 --> 00:37:44,285
Okay.
609
00:38:18,165 --> 00:38:19,165
Tidied up.
610
00:38:19,805 --> 00:38:21,861
Where's the other one?
We need to talk to you.
611
00:38:21,885 --> 00:38:25,101
- He's out. Not a good time.
- I wasn't asking.
612
00:38:25,125 --> 00:38:26,485
There are things you need to hear.
613
00:38:27,045 --> 00:38:30,605
You and your... partner have been
messing about in our lives.
614
00:38:31,205 --> 00:38:33,461
We're not a game. We're real people.
615
00:38:33,485 --> 00:38:36,261
You can't just
pair us up for your amusement.
616
00:38:36,285 --> 00:38:39,461
You were crying
and Nina needed rescuing and...
617
00:38:39,485 --> 00:38:41,061
My relationship just ended.
618
00:38:41,085 --> 00:38:43,005
I am not ready to start another one yet.
619
00:38:43,645 --> 00:38:45,381
I'd just be a rebound mess.
620
00:38:45,405 --> 00:38:46,965
I can't start seeing Maggie.
621
00:38:47,885 --> 00:38:51,781
When I'm ready, I hope she'll be there,
but there isn't any guarantee.
622
00:38:51,805 --> 00:38:53,765
- There is.
- You're not helping, angel.
623
00:38:54,845 --> 00:38:55,845
Look at you two.
624
00:38:56,205 --> 00:38:59,541
You're the hard bitten one,
the can't trust anyone ever again,
625
00:38:59,565 --> 00:39:02,741
and Mr. Wherever He Is is the soft one
who still believes in magic
626
00:39:02,765 --> 00:39:04,605
and people being
basically good and all that.
627
00:39:05,205 --> 00:39:07,461
Why are you telling me all this?
I don't understand.
628
00:39:07,485 --> 00:39:09,181
That's why she's telling you.
629
00:39:09,205 --> 00:39:10,965
Because you don't understand.
630
00:39:11,925 --> 00:39:15,421
Because you and Mr. Fell
don't ever talk to each other.
631
00:39:15,445 --> 00:39:17,061
We talk all the time!
632
00:39:17,085 --> 00:39:19,661
We've been talking
for millions of years.
633
00:39:19,685 --> 00:39:22,621
Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla.
634
00:39:22,645 --> 00:39:24,621
I say something brilliant,
he says something
635
00:39:24,645 --> 00:39:26,461
unintentionally funny back. It's great.
636
00:39:26,485 --> 00:39:28,965
You never say what
you're really thinking.
637
00:39:30,085 --> 00:39:31,285
That was all we needed.
638
00:39:32,085 --> 00:39:33,845
It's what you two need as well.
639
00:39:37,085 --> 00:39:39,181
Well, you don't have to
answer immediately.
640
00:39:39,205 --> 00:39:41,661
Take all the time you need.
641
00:39:41,685 --> 00:39:43,645
I... I don't know what to say.
642
00:39:44,925 --> 00:39:47,645
Well then, go and tell
your friend the good news.
643
00:40:00,925 --> 00:40:03,485
- We're just going.
- I'm sure you two have a lot to say.
644
00:40:24,045 --> 00:40:26,165
What's that you're holding, Muriel?
645
00:40:28,365 --> 00:40:29,581
A book.
646
00:40:29,605 --> 00:40:31,341
It's called a book.
647
00:40:31,365 --> 00:40:33,941
I'm "reading" a book.
648
00:40:33,965 --> 00:40:35,365
Excellent!
649
00:40:36,085 --> 00:40:38,485
What a perfectly splendid thing to do!
650
00:40:39,765 --> 00:40:41,141
Is it?
651
00:40:41,165 --> 00:40:44,445
Oh. Yes. Jolly good.
652
00:40:48,845 --> 00:40:50,941
Look, I suppose, um...
653
00:40:50,965 --> 00:40:52,141
I've got something to say.
654
00:40:52,165 --> 00:40:54,181
I know we ought to be talking about...
655
00:40:54,205 --> 00:40:56,021
It's probably best
if I start off doing all the talking,
656
00:40:56,045 --> 00:40:58,101
you do all the listening,
'cause if I don't start talking now,
657
00:40:58,125 --> 00:40:59,861
I won't ever start talking, right?
658
00:40:59,885 --> 00:41:01,821
- Yes, so...
- What's that lovely human expression?
659
00:41:01,845 --> 00:41:04,381
Oh, yes! Hold that thought.
660
00:41:04,405 --> 00:41:05,781
You see, I...
661
00:41:05,805 --> 00:41:08,621
I have some incredibly
good news to give you.
662
00:41:08,645 --> 00:41:10,925
- Really?
- I... um...
663
00:41:12,165 --> 00:41:14,661
So, um...
664
00:41:14,685 --> 00:41:17,621
the Metatron, you know,
I don't think he's as bad a fellow...
665
00:41:17,645 --> 00:41:20,021
Well, I think I might've misjudged him.
666
00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:24,981
You see, I... Well, he said, um,
667
00:41:25,005 --> 00:41:26,861
that Gabriel
668
00:41:26,885 --> 00:41:29,141
obviously hadn't worked out...
669
00:41:29,165 --> 00:41:32,661
as Supreme Archangel
and Commander of the Heavenly Host,
670
00:41:32,685 --> 00:41:35,341
and he asked who I thought
should take over in Heaven
671
00:41:35,365 --> 00:41:36,901
now that Gabriel was gone.
672
00:41:36,925 --> 00:41:37,925
And I said...
673
00:41:38,565 --> 00:41:42,301
- Michael?
- Oh, don't be silly! No, no, no, no, no.
674
00:41:42,325 --> 00:41:46,205
There's only one candidate who
makes even the slightest bit of sense.
675
00:41:47,885 --> 00:41:49,341
And that's you.
676
00:41:49,365 --> 00:41:51,845
And I said, "Me?"
677
00:41:52,445 --> 00:41:53,501
And he said...
678
00:41:53,525 --> 00:41:55,421
Well, yes. You're a leader,
679
00:41:55,445 --> 00:41:58,621
you're honest, you don't just
tell people what they want to hear.
680
00:41:58,645 --> 00:42:02,965
It's why Gabriel came to you
in the first place, I imagine.
681
00:42:03,565 --> 00:42:07,405
There are huge plans afoot,
enormous projects,
682
00:42:08,045 --> 00:42:10,381
and I will need you to run them.
683
00:42:10,405 --> 00:42:13,165
You are just the angel for the job.
684
00:42:14,925 --> 00:42:17,605
I... I don't want to go back to Heaven.
685
00:42:19,205 --> 00:42:21,141
Where would I get my coffee?
686
00:42:21,165 --> 00:42:24,101
You know, as Supreme Archangel,
687
00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:27,485
you would be able to decide
who to work with.
688
00:42:28,205 --> 00:42:31,261
Yeah, I've been looking back
over a number of your...
689
00:42:31,285 --> 00:42:34,461
previous exploits,
and I see that in quite a few of them
690
00:42:34,485 --> 00:42:37,405
you formed a de facto partnership
691
00:42:38,165 --> 00:42:39,821
with the demon Crowley.
692
00:42:39,845 --> 00:42:42,965
Now, if you wanted to
work with him again, that...
693
00:42:43,805 --> 00:42:45,781
might be considered irregular,
694
00:42:45,805 --> 00:42:48,885
but it would certainly be
within your jurisdiction
695
00:42:49,565 --> 00:42:52,805
to restore your friend, Crowley,
696
00:42:53,525 --> 00:42:56,621
to full angelic status.
697
00:42:56,645 --> 00:42:57,765
He said what?
698
00:42:58,525 --> 00:43:00,005
He said I could appoint you
699
00:43:00,885 --> 00:43:02,005
to be an angel.
700
00:43:02,805 --> 00:43:06,325
You could come back to Heaven and...
701
00:43:07,165 --> 00:43:08,485
and everything,
702
00:43:09,205 --> 00:43:10,605
like the old times.
703
00:43:11,565 --> 00:43:13,605
Only, even nicer.
704
00:43:14,845 --> 00:43:15,845
Right.
705
00:43:17,285 --> 00:43:19,525
And you told him
just where he could stick it, then?
706
00:43:22,525 --> 00:43:23,781
Not at all.
707
00:43:23,805 --> 00:43:27,101
Oh, we're better than that,
you're better than that, Angel!
708
00:43:27,125 --> 00:43:29,261
You don't need them.
I certainly don't need them!
709
00:43:29,285 --> 00:43:31,621
Look, they asked me
back to Hell, I said no.
710
00:43:31,645 --> 00:43:33,981
I'm not gonna be joining their team.
Neither should you.
711
00:43:34,005 --> 00:43:35,861
But... Well, obviously
you said no to Hell,
712
00:43:35,885 --> 00:43:36,925
you're the bad guys.
713
00:43:38,005 --> 00:43:39,005
But Heaven...
714
00:43:40,205 --> 00:43:43,565
Well, it's the side of truth, of light,
715
00:43:44,685 --> 00:43:45,805
of good.
716
00:43:48,285 --> 00:43:50,421
When Heaven ends life here on Earth,
717
00:43:50,445 --> 00:43:52,805
it'll be just as dead
as if Hell ended it.
718
00:43:55,445 --> 00:43:57,205
Tell me you said no.
719
00:44:03,925 --> 00:44:05,525
Tell me you said no.
720
00:44:06,445 --> 00:44:07,885
If I'm in charge...
721
00:44:09,405 --> 00:44:10,845
I can make a difference.
722
00:44:12,245 --> 00:44:13,405
Oh.
723
00:44:14,205 --> 00:44:16,021
Oh, God. Right, okay.
724
00:44:16,045 --> 00:44:17,821
Right. I didn't get a chance to say
what I was going to say,
725
00:44:17,845 --> 00:44:19,021
I think I'd better say it now
726
00:44:19,045 --> 00:44:21,405
Right, okay, yes, so...
727
00:44:25,805 --> 00:44:27,365
We've known each other a long time.
728
00:44:28,205 --> 00:44:29,626
We've been on this
planet for a long time.
729
00:44:29,650 --> 00:44:30,865
I mean, you and me.
730
00:44:32,805 --> 00:44:34,245
I could always rely on you.
731
00:44:35,445 --> 00:44:37,685
You could always rely on me.
We're a team, a group.
732
00:44:38,485 --> 00:44:39,565
Group of the two of us.
733
00:44:41,565 --> 00:44:43,805
And we've spent our existence
pretending that we aren't.
734
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,965
I mean, the last few years, not really.
735
00:44:55,245 --> 00:44:57,325
And I would like to spend...
736
00:44:59,565 --> 00:45:01,525
I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub
737
00:45:02,485 --> 00:45:05,045
can do it, go off together, then we can.
738
00:45:06,165 --> 00:45:08,381
Just the two of us.
We don't need Heaven,
739
00:45:08,405 --> 00:45:10,621
we don't need Hell, they're toxic.
740
00:45:10,645 --> 00:45:13,645
We need to get away
from them, just be an us.
741
00:45:14,405 --> 00:45:16,805
- You and me, what do you say?
- Come with me...
742
00:45:18,205 --> 00:45:21,365
to Heaven. I'll run it,
you can be my second in command.
743
00:45:22,445 --> 00:45:23,885
We can make a difference.
744
00:45:25,045 --> 00:45:26,925
You can't leave this bookshop.
745
00:45:28,485 --> 00:45:30,125
Oh, Crowley.
746
00:45:32,125 --> 00:45:33,685
Nothing lasts forever.
747
00:45:37,045 --> 00:45:38,045
No.
748
00:45:41,085 --> 00:45:42,525
No, I don't suppose it does.
749
00:45:46,245 --> 00:45:47,245
Good luck.
750
00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,461
Good luck? Crowley!
751
00:45:50,485 --> 00:45:51,845
Crowley, come back,
752
00:45:52,645 --> 00:45:53,645
to Heaven!
753
00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:56,405
Work with me!
754
00:45:58,365 --> 00:45:59,621
We can be together!
755
00:45:59,645 --> 00:46:01,165
Angels...
756
00:46:02,405 --> 00:46:03,741
doing good!
757
00:46:06,605 --> 00:46:08,205
I... I need you!
758
00:46:13,365 --> 00:46:15,381
I don't think you understand
what I'm offering you.
759
00:46:15,405 --> 00:46:16,685
I understand.
760
00:46:19,045 --> 00:46:20,805
I think I understand
a whole lot better than you do.
761
00:46:23,085 --> 00:46:24,085
Well...
762
00:46:25,725 --> 00:46:27,045
then there's nothing more to say.
763
00:46:30,045 --> 00:46:31,045
Listen.
764
00:46:31,965 --> 00:46:32,965
Do you hear that?
765
00:46:35,125 --> 00:46:36,365
I don't hear anything.
766
00:46:37,845 --> 00:46:38,845
That's the point.
767
00:46:40,365 --> 00:46:41,445
No nightingales.
768
00:46:45,245 --> 00:46:46,501
You idiot.
769
00:46:46,525 --> 00:46:49,205
We could have been... us.
770
00:47:13,685 --> 00:47:14,685
I...
771
00:47:19,085 --> 00:47:20,365
I forgive you.
772
00:47:25,525 --> 00:47:26,525
Don't bother.
773
00:47:46,965 --> 00:47:48,205
How did he take it?
774
00:47:50,245 --> 00:47:52,381
Um, not well.
775
00:47:52,405 --> 00:47:55,365
Ah, well, always did want
to go his own way.
776
00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:59,141
Always asking damn fool questions, too.
777
00:47:59,165 --> 00:48:01,245
Right, ready to start?
778
00:48:03,245 --> 00:48:04,245
I...
779
00:48:05,845 --> 00:48:06,845
But, um...
780
00:48:08,605 --> 00:48:09,605
my bookshop.
781
00:48:10,245 --> 00:48:12,541
Yes, well, for now
782
00:48:12,565 --> 00:48:15,021
I've entrusted it to Muriel,
783
00:48:15,045 --> 00:48:16,965
so it should be in good hands.
784
00:48:18,685 --> 00:48:19,821
But...
785
00:48:19,845 --> 00:48:22,845
Anything you need to take with you?
786
00:48:26,725 --> 00:48:27,725
No.
787
00:48:28,565 --> 00:48:29,805
Nothing I can think of.
788
00:48:30,965 --> 00:48:31,965
Ah.
789
00:48:36,325 --> 00:48:37,325
I think I...
790
00:48:46,565 --> 00:48:48,405
Nothing at all.
791
00:48:54,285 --> 00:48:57,061
Well, I can't think of a better angel
792
00:48:57,085 --> 00:48:58,861
to wrap things up,
793
00:48:58,885 --> 00:49:00,861
and to set into motion
794
00:49:00,885 --> 00:49:03,661
the next step in the great plan.
795
00:49:03,685 --> 00:49:05,901
Um, yes, you mentioned that.
796
00:49:05,925 --> 00:49:07,501
Can I know what it is?
797
00:49:07,525 --> 00:49:11,061
Well, it's something we need
an angel of your talents to direct.
798
00:49:11,085 --> 00:49:15,021
An angel who is familiar with
how they do things on Earth.
799
00:49:15,045 --> 00:49:17,781
- Ah.
- We call it the Second Coming.
800
00:49:45,125 --> 00:49:47,885
Doors closing. Going up.
801
00:50:16,925 --> 00:50:21,141
♪ A nightingale sang ♪
802
00:50:21,165 --> 00:50:25,725
♪ In Berkeley Square ♪
57144
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