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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,965 --> 00:00:16,981 Jim, I'll need eight battery-operated candles. 2 00:00:17,005 --> 00:00:18,165 They're in my desk drawer. 3 00:00:23,285 --> 00:00:25,013 Will you just answer a simple question? 4 00:00:25,037 --> 00:00:26,181 If I hear one, of course. 5 00:00:26,205 --> 00:00:28,261 - Uh, this way, please, Jim. - What is happening? 6 00:00:28,285 --> 00:00:29,861 Why is everything so weird? 7 00:00:29,885 --> 00:00:32,460 This all started last week when the power went out, didn't it? 8 00:00:32,484 --> 00:00:34,061 Three questions, none of them simple. 9 00:00:34,085 --> 00:00:36,181 But to answer your last one, no. 10 00:00:36,205 --> 00:00:39,541 This all started a very long time ago. 11 00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:41,621 But... also, yes. 12 00:00:41,645 --> 00:00:43,205 So, why were we all dancing? 13 00:00:44,405 --> 00:00:46,685 I thought it might make you realize that Maggie loved you, 14 00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,045 and then you'd fall in love with her. 15 00:00:49,725 --> 00:00:51,685 It all looks so simple in Jane Austen. 16 00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:53,621 Jane Austen? 17 00:00:53,645 --> 00:00:57,165 Oh, yes, the brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery. 18 00:01:03,045 --> 00:01:06,085 You're going to let us in, whether you like it or not. 19 00:01:07,245 --> 00:01:08,245 Not. 20 00:01:08,805 --> 00:01:10,525 You are not welcome here. 21 00:01:12,925 --> 00:01:14,981 Heaven. Doors opening. 22 00:01:15,005 --> 00:01:18,165 - Right. Where do you keep your records? - Records? 23 00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:21,185 You're a scrivener, 37th class. Records, where? 24 00:01:21,725 --> 00:01:23,621 - My office, but... - Lead on. 25 00:01:23,645 --> 00:01:26,020 But... No, I can't! 26 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,101 You're a demon! I can't just... 27 00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:30,421 Do you know how much trouble I'll get into for this? 28 00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:31,781 It's fine. 29 00:01:31,805 --> 00:01:33,141 You're forgetting about the bees. 30 00:01:33,165 --> 00:01:35,621 - Bees? - Angels are like bees. 31 00:01:35,645 --> 00:01:38,221 Fiercely protective of their hive if you're trying to get inside. 32 00:01:38,245 --> 00:01:40,365 Once you're in... well, I mean... 33 00:01:41,605 --> 00:01:45,421 is it even faintly possible that an unauthorized demon might be just 34 00:01:45,445 --> 00:01:48,165 wandering around in Heaven unescorted? 35 00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:50,484 Mm, bees. 36 00:01:51,165 --> 00:01:53,261 But you don't look like a bee. 37 00:01:53,285 --> 00:01:55,421 You look like a murder hornet 38 00:01:55,445 --> 00:01:56,965 or a snake or a... 39 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,205 Bees. Right. 40 00:01:59,965 --> 00:02:01,405 Your office. I'll follow you. 41 00:02:15,605 --> 00:02:17,141 Go, go. Hide. 42 00:02:17,165 --> 00:02:18,941 You lot are ridiculous. 43 00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:21,701 We are the legions of the damned. We are invincible. 44 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,548 You might be invincible, but you're still stuck out there, 45 00:02:24,572 --> 00:02:25,821 and we're in here. 46 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,225 You don't frighten me. 47 00:02:33,765 --> 00:02:37,581 I had brothers. You don't scare me by making faces. 48 00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:39,341 - Just leave 'em alone, Maggie. - No. 49 00:02:39,365 --> 00:02:40,541 I'm not scared of them. 50 00:02:40,565 --> 00:02:43,565 I've spent my life being scared of things. 51 00:02:44,885 --> 00:02:46,581 And I'm done with being scared. 52 00:02:46,605 --> 00:02:48,101 Please, Maggie. 53 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:49,901 Yes, please, Maggie. 54 00:02:49,925 --> 00:02:53,582 Please don't embarrass yourself in front of the woman 55 00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,101 you pathetically love. 56 00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:59,501 She's not embarrassing herself. She's... braver than anyone I know. 57 00:02:59,525 --> 00:03:01,301 Two cowards. 58 00:03:01,325 --> 00:03:05,221 You posture bravely because you are in there and we are out here. 59 00:03:05,245 --> 00:03:07,701 Leave us alone. Leave this shop alone. 60 00:03:07,725 --> 00:03:10,485 Leave Mr. Fell alone. 61 00:03:11,165 --> 00:03:12,525 You are nothing, Maggie. 62 00:03:13,325 --> 00:03:16,381 Look at you. You run a shop nobody visits, 63 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:19,060 unable to pay the rent. Dull. 64 00:03:19,084 --> 00:03:21,485 You're unloved and unlovable. 65 00:03:22,565 --> 00:03:24,301 You're a nobody, 66 00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:27,805 and you'll live, and then you'll die, a nobody. 67 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:36,261 My God, you lot are pathetic. 68 00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:38,445 You wanna come in here and say that to my face? 69 00:03:44,645 --> 00:03:46,005 Come on, quickly. Go! 70 00:03:58,485 --> 00:03:59,565 Maggie, 71 00:04:00,245 --> 00:04:01,341 what just happened? 72 00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:03,981 I... I think I might have just told them they could come in. 73 00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:07,061 Get back... Get back here now, fast, please. 74 00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:08,225 It's for your own good. 75 00:04:10,525 --> 00:04:13,581 I am perfectly prepared to take defensive action, 76 00:04:13,605 --> 00:04:15,021 should it become necessary. 77 00:04:15,045 --> 00:04:16,685 Stay back. 78 00:04:20,005 --> 00:04:21,005 Hello? 79 00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:24,661 Is there anybody there? 80 00:04:30,485 --> 00:04:31,525 I have to tell you, 81 00:04:32,485 --> 00:04:34,485 you can all leave now, 82 00:04:35,445 --> 00:04:37,045 and nobody will be hurt. 83 00:04:50,325 --> 00:04:51,525 You'll be hurt. 84 00:06:14,045 --> 00:06:20,565 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 85 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,445 - Mm, nice office. - It's a bit lonely. 86 00:06:40,085 --> 00:06:41,482 That was why I was so pleased when they said 87 00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:43,341 I finally had a job on Earth. 88 00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:45,341 Don't you ever see anyone here? 89 00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:48,765 Well, every few hundred years someone comes and asks me for something. 90 00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:52,123 You're not really under arrest, are you? 91 00:06:52,147 --> 00:06:53,741 Not really, no. 92 00:06:53,765 --> 00:06:56,245 I'm helping you, aren't I? 93 00:06:56,885 --> 00:06:57,885 Yeah. 94 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:02,825 - I'm going to get into so much trouble. - You think so? 95 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,357 Well then, let's make it worthwhile. 96 00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:09,725 What have you got on Gabriel? 97 00:07:26,325 --> 00:07:28,861 It's all confidential. I can't show it to you. 98 00:07:28,885 --> 00:07:31,141 I mean, I couldn't open it if I wanted to. 99 00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,741 I don't have clearance. 100 00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:35,205 You'd have to be a throne or a dominion, or above. 101 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,741 - How did you do that? - I haven't always been a demon, 102 00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,445 and they never change their passwords. 103 00:07:52,164 --> 00:07:55,245 Go on, you idiots. Get them! 104 00:08:12,765 --> 00:08:15,141 They aren't gonna keep walking into the circle forever. 105 00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:16,821 Even demons aren't that stupid. 106 00:08:16,845 --> 00:08:18,061 So, what's your plan? 107 00:08:18,085 --> 00:08:20,421 Well, that was it. I didn't have another bit. 108 00:08:24,365 --> 00:08:26,725 Uh... this way, quickly. 109 00:08:29,525 --> 00:08:30,941 Why do they keep blowing up? 110 00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:33,900 Well, it's all a bit complicated. The circle, it's a gateway, 111 00:08:33,924 --> 00:08:36,181 but if you step into it and you aren't prepared, 112 00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:38,501 it can discorporate you completely. 113 00:08:38,525 --> 00:08:40,501 Does what you say make sense in your head? 114 00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:44,125 Stop where you are! 115 00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:46,205 And so... 116 00:08:48,085 --> 00:08:49,141 it ends. 117 00:08:49,165 --> 00:08:51,221 Everything ends. 118 00:08:51,245 --> 00:08:53,765 Time and the world 119 00:08:54,365 --> 00:08:55,501 is over, 120 00:08:55,525 --> 00:08:57,725 and we begin eternity... 121 00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:00,885 forever and ever. 122 00:09:02,165 --> 00:09:03,221 Amen. 123 00:09:03,245 --> 00:09:04,765 - Amen. - Amen. 124 00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:07,005 Nah. 125 00:09:09,885 --> 00:09:10,885 Nah? 126 00:09:11,765 --> 00:09:12,765 Yep. 127 00:09:13,645 --> 00:09:14,645 Nah. 128 00:09:15,405 --> 00:09:19,101 Nah to the final victory of Heaven on Earth? 129 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,125 Sorry, just not seeing it this time. 130 00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,301 Pass. 131 00:09:23,325 --> 00:09:28,105 And may I ask why you're not seeing it? 132 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,485 Surely. 133 00:09:30,485 --> 00:09:32,325 - Why? - I told you you could ask. 134 00:09:33,085 --> 00:09:36,181 However, I am the only first-order archangel in the room, 135 00:09:36,205 --> 00:09:38,385 or, you know, the universe, 136 00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,981 so I'm not gonna answer so much. 137 00:09:41,005 --> 00:09:43,605 But you feel free to knock yourself out with all the asking. 138 00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:47,061 Anyway, Armageddon the sequel, 139 00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:48,525 that's a nah. 140 00:09:49,525 --> 00:09:51,101 What's next on the agenda? 141 00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,525 - The cleaning roster. - Okay! 142 00:09:54,725 --> 00:09:55,725 What have you got? 143 00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:58,621 I think we've struck gold. 144 00:09:58,645 --> 00:09:59,645 Push! 145 00:10:12,765 --> 00:10:15,045 - It's working! - Well, yeah! 146 00:10:22,965 --> 00:10:24,885 There's even more fire extinguishers up here. 147 00:10:28,645 --> 00:10:30,101 Why all the fire extinguishers? 148 00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:33,085 Uh, well, there was a fire here once, you see. 149 00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:36,885 And, um... well, books can go up like... 150 00:10:37,765 --> 00:10:40,301 - Well, anyway... - Brilliant 151 00:10:40,325 --> 00:10:41,765 Got any of that spray foam? 152 00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:48,261 So, Gabriel refused point blank to entertain another Armageddon? 153 00:10:48,285 --> 00:10:49,845 Doesn't sound like him at all. 154 00:10:50,645 --> 00:10:51,885 Any idea why not? 155 00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:54,941 Not yet. They had a sort of trial. 156 00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:58,045 It was a real trial. It didn't take long, though. 157 00:10:58,805 --> 00:10:59,861 Hello, Crowley. 158 00:11:00,052 --> 00:11:02,412 I didn't expect to ever see you again. 159 00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:04,341 Do we know each other? 160 00:11:04,365 --> 00:11:05,861 When you were an angel. 161 00:11:05,885 --> 00:11:07,965 We worked together on the Horsehead Nebula. 162 00:11:08,725 --> 00:11:11,125 I meet a lot of people. 163 00:11:11,913 --> 00:11:12,935 Muriel, 164 00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:16,701 you're the last person I'd expect to see collaborating with the enemy. 165 00:11:16,725 --> 00:11:17,765 - Oh. - Um... 166 00:11:18,365 --> 00:11:21,381 I suppose, from some points of view, this could look bad, 167 00:11:21,405 --> 00:11:23,605 - but I did arrest him. - No, you didn't. 168 00:11:24,805 --> 00:11:27,101 Well, don't let me interrupt you. Go on. 169 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:28,285 Show him the trial. 170 00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:33,141 Shax, I charge you to leave this place, 171 00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:35,501 with all your people, 172 00:11:35,525 --> 00:11:38,365 and to jolly well hurry up about it, 173 00:11:39,005 --> 00:11:41,981 or I'm going to have to take 174 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,325 severe measures. 175 00:11:44,045 --> 00:11:47,341 Aziraphale, what are you? 176 00:11:47,365 --> 00:11:50,941 Crowley's emotional support angel? 177 00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:54,605 The softest touch. The one who went native. 178 00:11:55,205 --> 00:11:58,525 Do you need more big human meals, Aziraphale? 179 00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:01,701 Shall we send up the sushi? 180 00:12:01,725 --> 00:12:04,981 Give us Gabriel. 181 00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:06,941 Give him to us now. 182 00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:09,261 - Sometimes people call me Gabriel. - Shh. 183 00:12:09,285 --> 00:12:11,381 And tell that moron 184 00:12:11,405 --> 00:12:14,181 to stop interrupting. 185 00:12:14,205 --> 00:12:16,101 Jim, go... go to your room. You'll be safer there. 186 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:19,181 Okay. Good night. Does anybody want any hot chocolate? 187 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,245 - No. - Go. 188 00:12:46,605 --> 00:12:49,581 Gabriel, Supreme Archangel, 189 00:12:49,605 --> 00:12:52,861 you have refused to exercise your celestial authority 190 00:12:52,885 --> 00:12:56,685 and you are henceforth removed from office. 191 00:12:57,285 --> 00:12:59,205 I see. You're casting me down to Hell. 192 00:13:00,485 --> 00:13:02,261 Well, I accept my fate. 193 00:13:02,285 --> 00:13:04,501 Sometimes an angel just has to say, 194 00:13:04,525 --> 00:13:06,781 "Guys, enough." 195 00:13:06,805 --> 00:13:09,181 - Even though... - No speeches, Gabriel. 196 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,501 You are not going to Hell. 197 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:15,741 For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness 198 00:13:15,765 --> 00:13:17,301 makes a good story. 199 00:13:17,325 --> 00:13:18,981 For it to happen twice, 200 00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:23,661 makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem. 201 00:13:23,685 --> 00:13:24,861 Which there isn't. 202 00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:27,501 Which, needless to say, there isn't. 203 00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:30,221 You will, I am sure you'll be glad to learn, 204 00:13:30,245 --> 00:13:32,045 remain an angel. 205 00:13:32,565 --> 00:13:34,101 Although, as a kindness, 206 00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:38,141 your memory of your time as Gabriel will be erased. 207 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,885 You will be demoted 208 00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:43,205 to junior recording angel, 209 00:13:43,965 --> 00:13:45,821 38th class. 210 00:13:45,845 --> 00:13:49,301 Oh, that's pretty good, actually. I'm 37th class. 211 00:13:49,325 --> 00:13:51,421 I didn't know that there was one down. 212 00:13:51,445 --> 00:13:54,181 I see. Well, all good things. 213 00:13:54,205 --> 00:13:57,301 Uh, just one thing. These clothes are tailored. 214 00:13:57,325 --> 00:13:58,661 Can I keep wearing them? 215 00:13:58,685 --> 00:14:02,061 Appropriate raiment will be provided for you, Gabriel. 216 00:14:02,085 --> 00:14:04,845 - These clothes? - Are not appropriate. 217 00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:07,786 Got it. Well, I'll just need to take off my clothes 218 00:14:07,810 --> 00:14:09,061 and clean out my desk, then. 219 00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:11,365 - You have a desk? - Yes, I do. 220 00:14:13,405 --> 00:14:15,645 I'll just need a... 221 00:14:17,005 --> 00:14:18,005 I'll be right back. 222 00:14:26,845 --> 00:14:29,381 - Can we throw books at them? - I'd rather you didn't. 223 00:14:29,405 --> 00:14:32,181 Obviously no fiction, but encyclopedias? 224 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,005 - It's all online these days anyway. - Oh, if you must. 225 00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:37,325 Ah! 226 00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:42,165 Ah! 227 00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:01,885 What? What's he... 228 00:15:11,565 --> 00:15:13,085 Doors opening. 229 00:15:15,725 --> 00:15:18,205 - He dropped it! - Doors closing. 230 00:15:18,805 --> 00:15:19,845 Going down. 231 00:15:27,485 --> 00:15:28,621 What's keeping him? 232 00:15:28,645 --> 00:15:31,221 I believe he's taking off his clothes and cleaning out his desk. 233 00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:34,661 Uriel, he doesn't have a desk. 234 00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:37,981 I don't trust him. Can we begin the memory wipe now? 235 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,165 What, without him here? 236 00:15:41,685 --> 00:15:43,805 - Good idea. - Right. 237 00:15:46,205 --> 00:15:49,581 I can't... I can't find his memory anywhere. 238 00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:52,701 In fact, I can't find him in the building. 239 00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:54,181 He's left Heaven. 240 00:15:54,205 --> 00:15:57,405 - Should I sound an alert? - Oh, don't be so wet. 241 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:02,085 No, you're all just going to have to find him. That's all. 242 00:16:02,965 --> 00:16:07,325 Stop lollygagging, you cowards. Get back up those stairs. 243 00:16:08,325 --> 00:16:09,703 Fire extinguishers have all been emptied, 244 00:16:09,727 --> 00:16:11,021 and we're out of encyclopedias. 245 00:16:11,045 --> 00:16:12,605 We can't... We can't stop them. 246 00:16:13,525 --> 00:16:14,525 What do we do? 247 00:16:16,085 --> 00:16:17,965 Desperate measures must be taken. 248 00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:32,925 I haven't done this since the Great War. 249 00:16:34,245 --> 00:16:38,165 It's something we're only meant to do when we're actually 250 00:16:38,725 --> 00:16:41,821 on a wartime... footing. 251 00:17:25,965 --> 00:17:27,405 What did you just do? 252 00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:29,205 I think... 253 00:17:30,445 --> 00:17:32,565 I may have just started a war. 254 00:17:33,925 --> 00:17:36,301 What just happened? 255 00:17:36,325 --> 00:17:38,661 I think your friend just declared war on Hell. 256 00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:41,421 This could get very messy. 257 00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:44,541 Ugh, right, come on! Let's get back there. 258 00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:45,781 You too. 259 00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,061 Funny old world, isn't it? 260 00:18:03,445 --> 00:18:04,445 Hello? 261 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,085 Anybody here? 262 00:18:07,245 --> 00:18:08,245 You came back. 263 00:18:11,445 --> 00:18:13,541 What did you do to them all? 264 00:18:13,565 --> 00:18:15,181 I did the thing with the halo. 265 00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:18,141 - You what? - I did the thing with the halo. 266 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:21,061 You... You blew up your halo? 267 00:18:21,085 --> 00:18:24,805 Ooh, Hell won't like that. 268 00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:39,741 We are at war! Finally! 269 00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:41,741 Nobody's at war. 270 00:18:41,765 --> 00:18:45,925 You idiots sent an idiot to lead a gang of idiots to attack a bookshop. 271 00:18:46,965 --> 00:18:50,461 Those idiots there want their archangel back so they can fire him. 272 00:18:56,805 --> 00:18:58,085 Nice job, Shax. 273 00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,405 Beautifully done. 274 00:19:01,285 --> 00:19:03,325 Remind me to put in for your commendation. 275 00:19:05,805 --> 00:19:07,765 - Sarcasm, yes? - Yep. 276 00:19:08,405 --> 00:19:09,405 I'm afraid so. 277 00:19:14,325 --> 00:19:18,421 - If it is to be war... - No, no, no, no, no war. 278 00:19:18,445 --> 00:19:20,645 Aziraphale, let's sort this out. Where's the cardboard box? 279 00:19:21,485 --> 00:19:24,085 - What box? - The one Gabriel arrived with. 280 00:19:25,325 --> 00:19:27,661 Gabriel? He's here? 281 00:19:27,685 --> 00:19:29,132 Sometimes people call me Gabriel. 282 00:19:29,156 --> 00:19:32,261 Yeah, we did a thing... hiding miracle. 283 00:19:32,285 --> 00:19:35,141 Apparently, if we do a miracle together, it all works a bit too well. 284 00:19:35,165 --> 00:19:38,621 - Careful. Could be a trap. - It's a cardboard box. 285 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,805 It's not going to bite you. 286 00:19:50,085 --> 00:19:52,685 Oh, there we go. I thought that's what you were doing. 287 00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:55,901 - What was I doing? - You were writing a message. 288 00:19:55,925 --> 00:19:58,301 Oh, probably to yourself, on the bottom of the box. 289 00:19:58,325 --> 00:20:00,781 "I am in the fly." 290 00:20:00,805 --> 00:20:02,085 What fly? 291 00:20:03,525 --> 00:20:04,725 Lord Beelzebub, 292 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,725 I believe flies are your department. 293 00:20:07,525 --> 00:20:08,525 Mm. 294 00:20:10,925 --> 00:20:13,885 There's only one fly here, and it's familiar. 295 00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:18,645 Come here. Come on. 296 00:20:20,565 --> 00:20:23,405 Good boy. 297 00:20:25,405 --> 00:20:27,501 No wonder nobody could find you. 298 00:20:27,525 --> 00:20:30,485 This is where you were keeping all your memories. 299 00:20:31,085 --> 00:20:33,245 All your... you. 300 00:20:34,805 --> 00:20:35,805 Look at you. 301 00:20:38,045 --> 00:20:39,405 You're perfect. 302 00:20:40,885 --> 00:20:41,885 Here. 303 00:20:42,925 --> 00:20:43,925 Take it. 304 00:20:44,885 --> 00:20:46,805 Gently. 305 00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:52,205 Now... 306 00:20:54,085 --> 00:20:55,085 open it. 307 00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:15,061 How I am supposed to get ten million angels to stand down 308 00:21:15,085 --> 00:21:17,205 from their war footing is... 309 00:21:17,765 --> 00:21:19,021 It doesn't bear thinking about. 310 00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:20,781 You should try to get ten million demons 311 00:21:20,805 --> 00:21:23,205 to put down their weapons and go back to work. 312 00:21:24,045 --> 00:21:26,525 Well, at least we know whose fault it is! 313 00:21:35,005 --> 00:21:37,501 You can't sit there, I'm waiting for someone. 314 00:21:37,525 --> 00:21:40,085 - You're waiting for me. - I don't think so. 315 00:21:41,165 --> 00:21:42,421 New face. 316 00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:44,215 I had the old one for 6,000 years. 317 00:21:44,239 --> 00:21:45,621 I just thought it was time for a change. 318 00:21:45,645 --> 00:21:47,925 - I don't know who you are. - Come on, it's me. 319 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:51,325 Beelzebub. Lord of the Flies. 320 00:21:52,685 --> 00:21:53,685 Watch. 321 00:21:58,845 --> 00:22:00,981 - There you go. - Why did you wanna meet me here? 322 00:22:01,005 --> 00:22:02,741 Well, if we're gonna have background talks, 323 00:22:02,765 --> 00:22:05,061 they can't be in either of our home territories. 324 00:22:05,085 --> 00:22:07,205 And what do we need to discuss? 325 00:22:08,645 --> 00:22:10,021 Arma-bloody-geddon. 326 00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:12,781 That was a complete and utter pain in the ass. 327 00:22:12,805 --> 00:22:15,981 - I know, but we are ready for round two. - As are we. 328 00:22:16,005 --> 00:22:18,661 Utterly ready. Armageddon, here we come. 329 00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:20,965 Arma-bloody-geddon. Arma-bloody-geddon. 330 00:22:22,045 --> 00:22:23,485 Ah. 331 00:22:24,765 --> 00:22:26,501 - Well, you lost. - So did you. 332 00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:28,301 - No, we didn't. - Well, you didn't win. 333 00:22:28,325 --> 00:22:30,021 Tell me about it. 334 00:22:30,045 --> 00:22:32,141 Everyone in Heaven is all like, "Well, you're the commander-in-chief, 335 00:22:32,165 --> 00:22:34,301 can't you just make the war happen anyway?" Like, I make the rules. 336 00:22:34,325 --> 00:22:36,245 That's exactly what my lot said. 337 00:22:37,045 --> 00:22:38,381 Well, 338 00:22:38,405 --> 00:22:40,605 it's good to know there's someone who understands. Thank you. 339 00:22:42,045 --> 00:22:43,565 It's a pity we'll never speak again. 340 00:22:52,845 --> 00:22:54,421 I have a proposal to make. 341 00:22:56,605 --> 00:22:58,965 Instead of Armageddon, what about... 342 00:23:00,965 --> 00:23:02,045 no Armageddon? 343 00:23:04,605 --> 00:23:06,045 An interesting proposal. 344 00:23:07,805 --> 00:23:08,925 No Armageddon. 345 00:23:10,565 --> 00:23:11,981 They won't like that, though. 346 00:23:12,005 --> 00:23:15,181 Most of my demons live for Armageddon, if you can call that living. 347 00:23:15,205 --> 00:23:18,045 Well, my angels too. But you can't always get what you... 348 00:23:19,245 --> 00:23:20,245 live for. 349 00:23:20,725 --> 00:23:22,661 Advantages to no Armageddon? 350 00:23:22,685 --> 00:23:26,925 We keep the status quo, static and, um, quo-ey. 351 00:23:30,045 --> 00:23:32,245 - No one can ever know, of course. - Of course. 352 00:23:33,805 --> 00:23:34,845 A deal? 353 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,261 Mm. 354 00:23:43,125 --> 00:23:44,425 I like this song. 355 00:23:45,965 --> 00:23:47,005 Song? 356 00:23:47,645 --> 00:23:49,621 - The music that's playing now. - What music? 357 00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:51,141 The noise. 358 00:23:51,165 --> 00:23:52,645 That's music? 359 00:23:54,085 --> 00:23:55,085 I like it. 360 00:23:56,325 --> 00:23:58,965 Contains information in a tuneful way. 361 00:24:00,645 --> 00:24:03,125 Every day something is getting closer. 362 00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:08,461 Then, um... Then I also like it. 363 00:24:08,485 --> 00:24:12,861 ♪ Love like yours Will surely come my way ♪ 364 00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:15,221 ♪ A-hey, a-hey, hey ♪ 365 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:20,485 ♪ Love like yours Will surely come my way ♪ 366 00:24:24,285 --> 00:24:25,325 So... 367 00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:27,485 agreement concluded. 368 00:24:29,285 --> 00:24:31,205 No need to ever meet again, is there? 369 00:24:33,925 --> 00:24:35,301 None whatsoever. 370 00:24:45,765 --> 00:24:46,965 Let there be light. 371 00:24:48,725 --> 00:24:50,165 I think the sculptor really caught something. 372 00:24:50,885 --> 00:24:52,085 The shape of the head. 373 00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:55,181 Beautiful. Really moving. 374 00:24:55,205 --> 00:24:56,685 It's a very good likeness. 375 00:24:58,245 --> 00:25:00,365 Sometimes I come here for hours and just... 376 00:25:01,445 --> 00:25:02,445 look at it. 377 00:25:07,605 --> 00:25:10,805 Right. Shall we go to the pub? 378 00:25:15,805 --> 00:25:20,141 Two goblets of your intoxicating liquor, please. And, uh... 379 00:25:20,165 --> 00:25:21,981 - Packet of crisps. - Very good, sir. 380 00:25:22,005 --> 00:25:24,325 Which liquor would that be? 381 00:25:24,965 --> 00:25:28,605 Whichever one it is you humans usually orally consume. 382 00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:30,821 Two pints of regular, then. 383 00:25:37,325 --> 00:25:38,365 What's that? 384 00:25:39,045 --> 00:25:41,085 A classic 1960s jukebox. 385 00:25:41,765 --> 00:25:43,765 You don't see many of them these days. 386 00:25:44,645 --> 00:25:47,141 You just put your money in and tell it what you want to hear. 387 00:25:47,165 --> 00:25:48,165 Oh... 388 00:25:48,885 --> 00:25:49,925 You people. 389 00:25:50,725 --> 00:25:51,765 Amazing. 390 00:25:56,565 --> 00:25:57,565 Ha! 391 00:25:59,445 --> 00:26:01,781 ♪ Everyday it's a-gettin' closer ♪ 392 00:26:01,805 --> 00:26:05,301 ♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪ 393 00:26:05,325 --> 00:26:09,605 ♪ Love like yours will surely come my way... ♪ 394 00:26:10,285 --> 00:26:11,525 Here you go. 395 00:26:15,165 --> 00:26:17,301 - You don't actually have to consume. - Oh. 396 00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:20,621 - And the... - Oh, packet of crisps? Good. 397 00:26:20,645 --> 00:26:24,485 ♪ ...yours will surely come my way ♪ 398 00:26:25,485 --> 00:26:27,165 Is that... Did you... 399 00:26:28,125 --> 00:26:30,021 - A small miracle. - Oh. 400 00:26:30,045 --> 00:26:33,261 That song will always be there on that jukebox, 401 00:26:33,285 --> 00:26:35,605 - to comfort the afflicted. - Mmm. 402 00:26:39,365 --> 00:26:40,845 I should give you something. 403 00:26:44,685 --> 00:26:46,885 Here. It's for you. 404 00:26:47,725 --> 00:26:49,085 You never know when you'll need it. 405 00:26:50,045 --> 00:26:52,381 It's a container, so... 406 00:26:52,405 --> 00:26:55,765 it's bigger on the inside. You can put things in it. 407 00:27:02,445 --> 00:27:04,605 Bye-bye. 408 00:27:12,845 --> 00:27:14,525 I don't actually know what to say. 409 00:27:15,525 --> 00:27:16,525 Why not? 410 00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:21,365 No one's ever given me anything before. 411 00:27:24,805 --> 00:27:26,381 ♪ ...seems a little longer ♪ 412 00:27:26,405 --> 00:27:28,805 ♪ Every way, love's a little... ♪ 413 00:27:44,565 --> 00:27:45,605 Aziraphale. 414 00:27:50,205 --> 00:27:51,525 Michael, Uriel. 415 00:27:52,525 --> 00:27:54,365 - Don't tell me. - I won't. 416 00:27:57,565 --> 00:27:59,221 - It's Saraqael! - Saraqael! 417 00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:01,381 Yes, I knew that. Of course it is 418 00:28:03,525 --> 00:28:04,965 Oh, eesh. 419 00:28:05,845 --> 00:28:06,845 You guys. 420 00:28:09,765 --> 00:28:10,765 You. 421 00:28:12,645 --> 00:28:14,565 Thank you. 422 00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:17,285 Silly, silly angel. 423 00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:19,365 Why? 424 00:28:20,205 --> 00:28:22,765 I was coming to you, but... 425 00:28:23,845 --> 00:28:25,045 I... 426 00:28:26,125 --> 00:28:27,445 forgot. 427 00:28:29,685 --> 00:28:32,381 Well, I think Aziraphale probably took much better care of you 428 00:28:32,405 --> 00:28:33,781 than I could've done. 429 00:28:33,805 --> 00:28:34,845 Beelzebub! 430 00:28:35,605 --> 00:28:37,421 You traitor! 431 00:28:37,445 --> 00:28:39,165 Collaborating with Heaven? 432 00:28:39,645 --> 00:28:41,501 I didn't collaborate with Heaven 433 00:28:41,525 --> 00:28:44,605 any more than Gabriel collaborated with Hell. 434 00:28:47,645 --> 00:28:50,965 I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides. 435 00:28:54,725 --> 00:28:57,221 That's really sweet. 436 00:28:59,085 --> 00:29:00,732 Enough to make you believe in true love. 437 00:29:00,756 --> 00:29:01,825 Mortals? 438 00:29:02,285 --> 00:29:05,101 What are mortals doing here? Someone turn them into pillars of salt. 439 00:29:05,125 --> 00:29:06,781 - Saraqael. - I'm on it. 440 00:29:06,805 --> 00:29:09,181 That... That won't be necessary. I'll see to this. 441 00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:10,965 Maggie, Nina, you come with me. 442 00:29:12,445 --> 00:29:13,781 You got this? 443 00:29:13,805 --> 00:29:16,101 Oh, um, absolutely, yes. 444 00:29:21,085 --> 00:29:23,581 Just don't, uh, tell anybody about any of this. 445 00:29:23,605 --> 00:29:25,701 Not that anyone would ever believe a word of it. 446 00:29:25,725 --> 00:29:27,621 Oh, God, I should've been open half an hour ago. 447 00:29:27,645 --> 00:29:29,621 How can you think about that after all this? 448 00:29:29,645 --> 00:29:31,861 People need coffee, I sell coffee, it's my coffee shop. 449 00:29:31,885 --> 00:29:34,061 - I should be open by now. - Right, nice knowing you both. 450 00:29:34,085 --> 00:29:35,141 Let's say goodbye forever 451 00:29:35,165 --> 00:29:36,885 and pretend none of this ever happened, yeah? 452 00:29:38,765 --> 00:29:41,685 Oh. Some of us have been working all night, you know. 453 00:29:48,365 --> 00:29:49,645 Where did you come from? 454 00:29:53,605 --> 00:29:54,701 I don't remember. 455 00:29:54,725 --> 00:29:57,621 Good call. Never tell them how it's done, 456 00:29:57,645 --> 00:30:00,325 unless they pay you for it first. Here, pick a card. 457 00:30:03,525 --> 00:30:06,245 I'm going to my shop, to sleep behind the counter. 458 00:30:07,645 --> 00:30:10,005 Unless you'd like some help? 459 00:30:11,325 --> 00:30:13,501 Could you nip down the mini mart and pick me up some cream, 460 00:30:13,525 --> 00:30:15,421 oat milk, soy milk, and almond milk? 461 00:30:15,445 --> 00:30:16,805 Mm. I'm on it. 462 00:30:22,725 --> 00:30:23,901 I can't hear you. 463 00:30:25,765 --> 00:30:27,925 Can we have... Please, can we have a... 464 00:30:33,685 --> 00:30:35,541 I've had quite enough of this. 465 00:30:35,565 --> 00:30:37,765 You will speak one at a time. 466 00:30:42,325 --> 00:30:46,141 I demand that you handover both Gabriel and Beelzebub 467 00:30:46,165 --> 00:30:49,445 as gifts for Satan, our master. 468 00:30:50,045 --> 00:30:51,125 He won't want them. 469 00:30:52,085 --> 00:30:53,501 Maybe as hors d'oeuvres. 470 00:30:53,525 --> 00:30:56,061 And I demand you hand them over to us, 471 00:30:56,085 --> 00:30:58,021 to face celestial punishment. 472 00:30:58,045 --> 00:31:00,181 Obviously we would be reserving the option 473 00:31:00,205 --> 00:31:02,341 to send them both to Hell as our punishment. 474 00:31:02,365 --> 00:31:04,341 But we'd be the ones doing it. 475 00:31:04,365 --> 00:31:06,045 Why don't we ask them 476 00:31:06,765 --> 00:31:08,101 where they'd like to go? 477 00:31:08,125 --> 00:31:09,661 Oh, this is ridiculous. 478 00:31:09,685 --> 00:31:11,541 No, there are precedents. 479 00:31:11,565 --> 00:31:13,341 Hell doing Heaven's punishing for you. 480 00:31:13,365 --> 00:31:16,101 Job, that was one. Lovely man, never met him. 481 00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:17,125 Um, Gabriel, 482 00:31:18,005 --> 00:31:19,005 Beelzebub, 483 00:31:20,445 --> 00:31:21,485 what do you want? 484 00:31:23,725 --> 00:31:25,605 I would like... 485 00:31:26,965 --> 00:31:28,005 better clothes, 486 00:31:29,125 --> 00:31:31,381 and I would like to be with Beelzebub. 487 00:31:31,405 --> 00:31:34,261 Wherever Beelzebub is... is my Heaven. 488 00:31:34,285 --> 00:31:35,381 Mm-hmm. 489 00:31:35,405 --> 00:31:38,381 And where you are, my sweet, is forever my Hell. 490 00:31:38,405 --> 00:31:40,981 You know, Alpha Centauri's nice. 491 00:31:41,005 --> 00:31:42,165 Always wanted to go there. 492 00:31:42,925 --> 00:31:45,701 Couple of decent planets. No nightlife to speak of. 493 00:31:45,725 --> 00:31:47,061 If you leave, 494 00:31:47,085 --> 00:31:48,485 you can never come back. 495 00:31:49,165 --> 00:31:51,461 - That would be the point. - If you flee, 496 00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:52,861 traitor, 497 00:31:52,885 --> 00:31:56,421 Hell will send all its legions to hunt you down. 498 00:31:56,445 --> 00:32:00,901 You know as well as I do how badly understaffed Hell is right now. 499 00:32:00,925 --> 00:32:03,205 Anyway, with me not there, Shax, 500 00:32:03,845 --> 00:32:05,805 you could be the next Grand Duke of Hell. 501 00:32:08,005 --> 00:32:09,661 Grand Duke of Hell. 502 00:32:09,685 --> 00:32:11,941 Angels and Demons, they can't just... 503 00:32:11,965 --> 00:32:16,061 ♪ Everyday, it's a-getting closer ♪ 504 00:32:16,085 --> 00:32:20,621 ♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪ 505 00:32:20,645 --> 00:32:22,941 ♪ Love like yours will ♪ 506 00:32:22,965 --> 00:32:25,821 ♪ Surely come my way ♪ 507 00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:28,685 ♪ A-hey, a-hey-hey ♪ 508 00:32:29,565 --> 00:32:32,501 Ah, if you're going back to Hell, can I get my flat back? 509 00:32:32,525 --> 00:32:34,861 - Who the hell cares? - I care! 510 00:32:34,885 --> 00:32:36,581 I'm bored of living in my car. 511 00:32:36,605 --> 00:32:39,301 And I don't think my car's much of a fan of it either. 512 00:32:39,325 --> 00:32:41,221 I believe the Dark Council 513 00:32:41,245 --> 00:32:44,781 will have something to say about all this nonsense. 514 00:32:44,805 --> 00:32:48,021 Well, I'm sure they'll be thrilled that the mighty Shax 515 00:32:48,045 --> 00:32:51,005 has uncovered a traitor in our midst. 516 00:32:59,405 --> 00:33:00,845 Let's find out, shall we? 517 00:33:07,325 --> 00:33:09,901 Order accurately and fast. I haven't slept in 30 hours 518 00:33:09,925 --> 00:33:12,165 and I will not hesitate to mock you if I don't like your order. 519 00:33:13,285 --> 00:33:14,861 Yes, I quite understand. 520 00:33:14,885 --> 00:33:16,085 I'd like a... 521 00:33:16,685 --> 00:33:19,461 large oat milk latte 522 00:33:19,485 --> 00:33:22,685 with a dash of almond syrup, please. 523 00:33:23,685 --> 00:33:24,685 Coming up. 524 00:33:25,245 --> 00:33:27,821 Do people ever ask for death? 525 00:33:27,845 --> 00:33:28,925 What? 526 00:33:29,445 --> 00:33:31,078 Well, the name of your establishment, 527 00:33:31,102 --> 00:33:33,701 "Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death." 528 00:33:33,725 --> 00:33:35,765 I assume they always ask for coffee. 529 00:33:36,445 --> 00:33:37,981 They don't ever ask for death, no. 530 00:33:38,005 --> 00:33:39,885 No, I don't suppose they do. 531 00:33:41,285 --> 00:33:42,485 So predictable. 532 00:33:43,125 --> 00:33:46,021 I am authorized to remove the name of anyone 533 00:33:46,045 --> 00:33:48,461 who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life. 534 00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:51,421 You will never have existed, Aziraphale. 535 00:33:52,525 --> 00:33:53,901 In the absence of Gabriel, 536 00:33:53,925 --> 00:33:56,381 - I am the Supreme Archangel. - Duty officer. 537 00:33:56,405 --> 00:33:58,141 - And I... - Excuse me, I'm sorry, 538 00:33:58,165 --> 00:34:00,165 I must interrupt you there. 539 00:34:00,725 --> 00:34:01,941 Um... 540 00:34:01,965 --> 00:34:04,581 Oh, and I've brought over a coffee. 541 00:34:04,605 --> 00:34:07,021 I don't believe I asked for any interruptions. 542 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:10,620 I couldn't help it. You're talking utter balderdash. 543 00:34:10,644 --> 00:34:12,164 I mean, complete piffle! 544 00:34:12,965 --> 00:34:15,861 You don't have the authority to do anything like that. 545 00:34:15,885 --> 00:34:17,845 Um, and who are you? 546 00:34:18,605 --> 00:34:20,164 For Heaven's sake. 547 00:34:20,845 --> 00:34:24,085 And I mean that most literally. You don't know me? 548 00:34:24,925 --> 00:34:28,741 Well, uh, what about you, Demon? Do you know me? 549 00:34:28,765 --> 00:34:31,341 - Get him out of here! - Really? 550 00:34:31,365 --> 00:34:32,821 Oh, I know you. 551 00:34:32,845 --> 00:34:36,164 Last time I saw you, you were a big, floating giant head, man. 552 00:34:36,965 --> 00:34:37,965 Oh! 553 00:34:38,845 --> 00:34:39,941 The Metatron. 554 00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:41,140 Correct! 555 00:34:41,164 --> 00:34:43,605 This calls much less attention, though. 556 00:34:44,325 --> 00:34:48,045 Right, you, you, you, back to Heaven, spit, spot, not another word. 557 00:34:48,605 --> 00:34:50,925 Ah-ah-ah! Not you. 558 00:34:51,644 --> 00:34:55,164 Um... Your... Your Reverence, your... 559 00:34:55,925 --> 00:34:58,085 - You Grace, your... - Oh, come on, spit it out. 560 00:34:59,485 --> 00:35:01,045 Have we done anything wrong? 561 00:35:01,845 --> 00:35:04,885 Well, that remains to be seen, does it not? 562 00:35:06,285 --> 00:35:08,541 Well, go on, off you go, the lot of you! 563 00:35:08,565 --> 00:35:11,501 Except the dim one. 564 00:35:11,525 --> 00:35:13,445 I may need you. 565 00:35:18,685 --> 00:35:19,685 Right. 566 00:35:20,765 --> 00:35:23,685 It's just you and me, Aziraphale, eh? 567 00:35:24,645 --> 00:35:27,645 I think we need to have a bit of a chinwag, 568 00:35:28,565 --> 00:35:29,861 don't you? 569 00:35:29,885 --> 00:35:32,141 I don't believe there's anything left to be said. 570 00:35:32,165 --> 00:35:34,021 I've made my position quite clear. 571 00:35:34,045 --> 00:35:36,141 Yeah, well, I brought you a coffee from the shop. 572 00:35:36,165 --> 00:35:39,021 It's an oat milk latte 573 00:35:39,045 --> 00:35:41,885 with a hefty jigger of almond syrup. 574 00:35:43,125 --> 00:35:45,885 - You brought me a coffee? - Are you going to take it? 575 00:35:49,525 --> 00:35:51,485 - Shall I? - Drink it? 576 00:35:52,325 --> 00:35:53,325 Of course. 577 00:35:54,005 --> 00:35:57,045 I've ingested things in my time, you know. 578 00:35:58,085 --> 00:36:00,821 It's... It's very nice. 579 00:36:00,845 --> 00:36:02,845 Yes, I should jolly well hope so. 580 00:36:03,885 --> 00:36:05,981 Well, we have things to talk about. 581 00:36:06,005 --> 00:36:08,141 Shall we take a little stroll? 582 00:36:08,165 --> 00:36:09,165 Um... 583 00:36:09,765 --> 00:36:12,085 Mm. Go on. They can't get any weirder. 584 00:36:31,045 --> 00:36:32,045 Oh. 585 00:36:33,165 --> 00:36:34,645 You should leave now too. 586 00:36:35,885 --> 00:36:38,045 The Metatron told me to wait. 587 00:36:38,965 --> 00:36:40,861 He said he might need me. 588 00:36:40,885 --> 00:36:43,165 Me! He might need me. 589 00:36:43,845 --> 00:36:45,645 Marvelous. Have a gold star. 590 00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:48,621 - They'll be back soon. - Yes. 591 00:36:48,645 --> 00:36:52,165 When Aziraphale does come back, I think we need a little us time. 592 00:36:52,965 --> 00:36:56,485 After all this, I think we are going for 593 00:36:57,165 --> 00:37:01,901 an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz. 594 00:37:01,925 --> 00:37:04,101 Brilliant idea! 595 00:37:04,125 --> 00:37:06,261 Breakfast. Us time. 596 00:37:06,285 --> 00:37:08,165 Just us. Not you. 597 00:37:09,405 --> 00:37:12,381 Oh. Oh, right, yes. 598 00:37:12,405 --> 00:37:14,861 I can, um, explore the bookshop. 599 00:37:16,565 --> 00:37:19,125 Um... you need to go. 600 00:37:20,445 --> 00:37:23,141 Can I... Can I take a book with me? 601 00:37:23,165 --> 00:37:25,381 I was looking at one earlier. 602 00:37:25,405 --> 00:37:27,485 They're like people, only portable. 603 00:37:29,525 --> 00:37:31,645 Go for it. Here, you'll like this one. 604 00:37:33,165 --> 00:37:35,821 - No, it won't do any good. - It doesn't matter. 605 00:37:35,845 --> 00:37:37,685 We have to tell them. 606 00:37:39,005 --> 00:37:40,101 Fine. 607 00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:42,445 Anyone wants anything, tell 'em we'll be back in five minutes. 608 00:37:43,005 --> 00:37:44,285 Okay. 609 00:38:18,165 --> 00:38:19,165 Tidied up. 610 00:38:19,805 --> 00:38:21,861 Where's the other one? We need to talk to you. 611 00:38:21,885 --> 00:38:25,101 - He's out. Not a good time. - I wasn't asking. 612 00:38:25,125 --> 00:38:26,485 There are things you need to hear. 613 00:38:27,045 --> 00:38:30,605 You and your... partner have been messing about in our lives. 614 00:38:31,205 --> 00:38:33,461 We're not a game. We're real people. 615 00:38:33,485 --> 00:38:36,261 You can't just pair us up for your amusement. 616 00:38:36,285 --> 00:38:39,461 You were crying and Nina needed rescuing and... 617 00:38:39,485 --> 00:38:41,061 My relationship just ended. 618 00:38:41,085 --> 00:38:43,005 I am not ready to start another one yet. 619 00:38:43,645 --> 00:38:45,381 I'd just be a rebound mess. 620 00:38:45,405 --> 00:38:46,965 I can't start seeing Maggie. 621 00:38:47,885 --> 00:38:51,781 When I'm ready, I hope she'll be there, but there isn't any guarantee. 622 00:38:51,805 --> 00:38:53,765 - There is. - You're not helping, angel. 623 00:38:54,845 --> 00:38:55,845 Look at you two. 624 00:38:56,205 --> 00:38:59,541 You're the hard bitten one, the can't trust anyone ever again, 625 00:38:59,565 --> 00:39:02,741 and Mr. Wherever He Is is the soft one who still believes in magic 626 00:39:02,765 --> 00:39:04,605 and people being basically good and all that. 627 00:39:05,205 --> 00:39:07,461 Why are you telling me all this? I don't understand. 628 00:39:07,485 --> 00:39:09,181 That's why she's telling you. 629 00:39:09,205 --> 00:39:10,965 Because you don't understand. 630 00:39:11,925 --> 00:39:15,421 Because you and Mr. Fell don't ever talk to each other. 631 00:39:15,445 --> 00:39:17,061 We talk all the time! 632 00:39:17,085 --> 00:39:19,661 We've been talking for millions of years. 633 00:39:19,685 --> 00:39:22,621 Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla. 634 00:39:22,645 --> 00:39:24,621 I say something brilliant, he says something 635 00:39:24,645 --> 00:39:26,461 unintentionally funny back. It's great. 636 00:39:26,485 --> 00:39:28,965 You never say what you're really thinking. 637 00:39:30,085 --> 00:39:31,285 That was all we needed. 638 00:39:32,085 --> 00:39:33,845 It's what you two need as well. 639 00:39:37,085 --> 00:39:39,181 Well, you don't have to answer immediately. 640 00:39:39,205 --> 00:39:41,661 Take all the time you need. 641 00:39:41,685 --> 00:39:43,645 I... I don't know what to say. 642 00:39:44,925 --> 00:39:47,645 Well then, go and tell your friend the good news. 643 00:40:00,925 --> 00:40:03,485 - We're just going. - I'm sure you two have a lot to say. 644 00:40:24,045 --> 00:40:26,165 What's that you're holding, Muriel? 645 00:40:28,365 --> 00:40:29,581 A book. 646 00:40:29,605 --> 00:40:31,341 It's called a book. 647 00:40:31,365 --> 00:40:33,941 I'm "reading" a book. 648 00:40:33,965 --> 00:40:35,365 Excellent! 649 00:40:36,085 --> 00:40:38,485 What a perfectly splendid thing to do! 650 00:40:39,765 --> 00:40:41,141 Is it? 651 00:40:41,165 --> 00:40:44,445 Oh. Yes. Jolly good. 652 00:40:48,845 --> 00:40:50,941 Look, I suppose, um... 653 00:40:50,965 --> 00:40:52,141 I've got something to say. 654 00:40:52,165 --> 00:40:54,181 I know we ought to be talking about... 655 00:40:54,205 --> 00:40:56,021 It's probably best if I start off doing all the talking, 656 00:40:56,045 --> 00:40:58,101 you do all the listening, 'cause if I don't start talking now, 657 00:40:58,125 --> 00:40:59,861 I won't ever start talking, right? 658 00:40:59,885 --> 00:41:01,821 - Yes, so... - What's that lovely human expression? 659 00:41:01,845 --> 00:41:04,381 Oh, yes! Hold that thought. 660 00:41:04,405 --> 00:41:05,781 You see, I... 661 00:41:05,805 --> 00:41:08,621 I have some incredibly good news to give you. 662 00:41:08,645 --> 00:41:10,925 - Really? - I... um... 663 00:41:12,165 --> 00:41:14,661 So, um... 664 00:41:14,685 --> 00:41:17,621 the Metatron, you know, I don't think he's as bad a fellow... 665 00:41:17,645 --> 00:41:20,021 Well, I think I might've misjudged him. 666 00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:24,981 You see, I... Well, he said, um, 667 00:41:25,005 --> 00:41:26,861 that Gabriel 668 00:41:26,885 --> 00:41:29,141 obviously hadn't worked out... 669 00:41:29,165 --> 00:41:32,661 as Supreme Archangel and Commander of the Heavenly Host, 670 00:41:32,685 --> 00:41:35,341 and he asked who I thought should take over in Heaven 671 00:41:35,365 --> 00:41:36,901 now that Gabriel was gone. 672 00:41:36,925 --> 00:41:37,925 And I said... 673 00:41:38,565 --> 00:41:42,301 - Michael? - Oh, don't be silly! No, no, no, no, no. 674 00:41:42,325 --> 00:41:46,205 There's only one candidate who makes even the slightest bit of sense. 675 00:41:47,885 --> 00:41:49,341 And that's you. 676 00:41:49,365 --> 00:41:51,845 And I said, "Me?" 677 00:41:52,445 --> 00:41:53,501 And he said... 678 00:41:53,525 --> 00:41:55,421 Well, yes. You're a leader, 679 00:41:55,445 --> 00:41:58,621 you're honest, you don't just tell people what they want to hear. 680 00:41:58,645 --> 00:42:02,965 It's why Gabriel came to you in the first place, I imagine. 681 00:42:03,565 --> 00:42:07,405 There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, 682 00:42:08,045 --> 00:42:10,381 and I will need you to run them. 683 00:42:10,405 --> 00:42:13,165 You are just the angel for the job. 684 00:42:14,925 --> 00:42:17,605 I... I don't want to go back to Heaven. 685 00:42:19,205 --> 00:42:21,141 Where would I get my coffee? 686 00:42:21,165 --> 00:42:24,101 You know, as Supreme Archangel, 687 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:27,485 you would be able to decide who to work with. 688 00:42:28,205 --> 00:42:31,261 Yeah, I've been looking back over a number of your... 689 00:42:31,285 --> 00:42:34,461 previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them 690 00:42:34,485 --> 00:42:37,405 you formed a de facto partnership 691 00:42:38,165 --> 00:42:39,821 with the demon Crowley. 692 00:42:39,845 --> 00:42:42,965 Now, if you wanted to work with him again, that... 693 00:42:43,805 --> 00:42:45,781 might be considered irregular, 694 00:42:45,805 --> 00:42:48,885 but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction 695 00:42:49,565 --> 00:42:52,805 to restore your friend, Crowley, 696 00:42:53,525 --> 00:42:56,621 to full angelic status. 697 00:42:56,645 --> 00:42:57,765 He said what? 698 00:42:58,525 --> 00:43:00,005 He said I could appoint you 699 00:43:00,885 --> 00:43:02,005 to be an angel. 700 00:43:02,805 --> 00:43:06,325 You could come back to Heaven and... 701 00:43:07,165 --> 00:43:08,485 and everything, 702 00:43:09,205 --> 00:43:10,605 like the old times. 703 00:43:11,565 --> 00:43:13,605 Only, even nicer. 704 00:43:14,845 --> 00:43:15,845 Right. 705 00:43:17,285 --> 00:43:19,525 And you told him just where he could stick it, then? 706 00:43:22,525 --> 00:43:23,781 Not at all. 707 00:43:23,805 --> 00:43:27,101 Oh, we're better than that, you're better than that, Angel! 708 00:43:27,125 --> 00:43:29,261 You don't need them. I certainly don't need them! 709 00:43:29,285 --> 00:43:31,621 Look, they asked me back to Hell, I said no. 710 00:43:31,645 --> 00:43:33,981 I'm not gonna be joining their team. Neither should you. 711 00:43:34,005 --> 00:43:35,861 But... Well, obviously you said no to Hell, 712 00:43:35,885 --> 00:43:36,925 you're the bad guys. 713 00:43:38,005 --> 00:43:39,005 But Heaven... 714 00:43:40,205 --> 00:43:43,565 Well, it's the side of truth, of light, 715 00:43:44,685 --> 00:43:45,805 of good. 716 00:43:48,285 --> 00:43:50,421 When Heaven ends life here on Earth, 717 00:43:50,445 --> 00:43:52,805 it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it. 718 00:43:55,445 --> 00:43:57,205 Tell me you said no. 719 00:44:03,925 --> 00:44:05,525 Tell me you said no. 720 00:44:06,445 --> 00:44:07,885 If I'm in charge... 721 00:44:09,405 --> 00:44:10,845 I can make a difference. 722 00:44:12,245 --> 00:44:13,405 Oh. 723 00:44:14,205 --> 00:44:16,021 Oh, God. Right, okay. 724 00:44:16,045 --> 00:44:17,821 Right. I didn't get a chance to say what I was going to say, 725 00:44:17,845 --> 00:44:19,021 I think I'd better say it now 726 00:44:19,045 --> 00:44:21,405 Right, okay, yes, so... 727 00:44:25,805 --> 00:44:27,365 We've known each other a long time. 728 00:44:28,205 --> 00:44:29,626 We've been on this planet for a long time. 729 00:44:29,650 --> 00:44:30,865 I mean, you and me. 730 00:44:32,805 --> 00:44:34,245 I could always rely on you. 731 00:44:35,445 --> 00:44:37,685 You could always rely on me. We're a team, a group. 732 00:44:38,485 --> 00:44:39,565 Group of the two of us. 733 00:44:41,565 --> 00:44:43,805 And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't. 734 00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,965 I mean, the last few years, not really. 735 00:44:55,245 --> 00:44:57,325 And I would like to spend... 736 00:44:59,565 --> 00:45:01,525 I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub 737 00:45:02,485 --> 00:45:05,045 can do it, go off together, then we can. 738 00:45:06,165 --> 00:45:08,381 Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven, 739 00:45:08,405 --> 00:45:10,621 we don't need Hell, they're toxic. 740 00:45:10,645 --> 00:45:13,645 We need to get away from them, just be an us. 741 00:45:14,405 --> 00:45:16,805 - You and me, what do you say? - Come with me... 742 00:45:18,205 --> 00:45:21,365 to Heaven. I'll run it, you can be my second in command. 743 00:45:22,445 --> 00:45:23,885 We can make a difference. 744 00:45:25,045 --> 00:45:26,925 You can't leave this bookshop. 745 00:45:28,485 --> 00:45:30,125 Oh, Crowley. 746 00:45:32,125 --> 00:45:33,685 Nothing lasts forever. 747 00:45:37,045 --> 00:45:38,045 No. 748 00:45:41,085 --> 00:45:42,525 No, I don't suppose it does. 749 00:45:46,245 --> 00:45:47,245 Good luck. 750 00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,461 Good luck? Crowley! 751 00:45:50,485 --> 00:45:51,845 Crowley, come back, 752 00:45:52,645 --> 00:45:53,645 to Heaven! 753 00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:56,405 Work with me! 754 00:45:58,365 --> 00:45:59,621 We can be together! 755 00:45:59,645 --> 00:46:01,165 Angels... 756 00:46:02,405 --> 00:46:03,741 doing good! 757 00:46:06,605 --> 00:46:08,205 I... I need you! 758 00:46:13,365 --> 00:46:15,381 I don't think you understand what I'm offering you. 759 00:46:15,405 --> 00:46:16,685 I understand. 760 00:46:19,045 --> 00:46:20,805 I think I understand a whole lot better than you do. 761 00:46:23,085 --> 00:46:24,085 Well... 762 00:46:25,725 --> 00:46:27,045 then there's nothing more to say. 763 00:46:30,045 --> 00:46:31,045 Listen. 764 00:46:31,965 --> 00:46:32,965 Do you hear that? 765 00:46:35,125 --> 00:46:36,365 I don't hear anything. 766 00:46:37,845 --> 00:46:38,845 That's the point. 767 00:46:40,365 --> 00:46:41,445 No nightingales. 768 00:46:45,245 --> 00:46:46,501 You idiot. 769 00:46:46,525 --> 00:46:49,205 We could have been... us. 770 00:47:13,685 --> 00:47:14,685 I... 771 00:47:19,085 --> 00:47:20,365 I forgive you. 772 00:47:25,525 --> 00:47:26,525 Don't bother. 773 00:47:46,965 --> 00:47:48,205 How did he take it? 774 00:47:50,245 --> 00:47:52,381 Um, not well. 775 00:47:52,405 --> 00:47:55,365 Ah, well, always did want to go his own way. 776 00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:59,141 Always asking damn fool questions, too. 777 00:47:59,165 --> 00:48:01,245 Right, ready to start? 778 00:48:03,245 --> 00:48:04,245 I... 779 00:48:05,845 --> 00:48:06,845 But, um... 780 00:48:08,605 --> 00:48:09,605 my bookshop. 781 00:48:10,245 --> 00:48:12,541 Yes, well, for now 782 00:48:12,565 --> 00:48:15,021 I've entrusted it to Muriel, 783 00:48:15,045 --> 00:48:16,965 so it should be in good hands. 784 00:48:18,685 --> 00:48:19,821 But... 785 00:48:19,845 --> 00:48:22,845 Anything you need to take with you? 786 00:48:26,725 --> 00:48:27,725 No. 787 00:48:28,565 --> 00:48:29,805 Nothing I can think of. 788 00:48:30,965 --> 00:48:31,965 Ah. 789 00:48:36,325 --> 00:48:37,325 I think I... 790 00:48:46,565 --> 00:48:48,405 Nothing at all. 791 00:48:54,285 --> 00:48:57,061 Well, I can't think of a better angel 792 00:48:57,085 --> 00:48:58,861 to wrap things up, 793 00:48:58,885 --> 00:49:00,861 and to set into motion 794 00:49:00,885 --> 00:49:03,661 the next step in the great plan. 795 00:49:03,685 --> 00:49:05,901 Um, yes, you mentioned that. 796 00:49:05,925 --> 00:49:07,501 Can I know what it is? 797 00:49:07,525 --> 00:49:11,061 Well, it's something we need an angel of your talents to direct. 798 00:49:11,085 --> 00:49:15,021 An angel who is familiar with how they do things on Earth. 799 00:49:15,045 --> 00:49:17,781 - Ah. - We call it the Second Coming. 800 00:49:45,125 --> 00:49:47,885 Doors closing. Going up. 801 00:50:16,925 --> 00:50:21,141 ♪ A nightingale sang ♪ 802 00:50:21,165 --> 00:50:25,725 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 57144

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