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WOMAN: Okay.

Well, how long
do you think it's been?

MAN: A couple of
weeks maybe, a little bit more.

WOMAN: Derrick,
it's been six months.

MAN: No, it can't be.

Yes, it has been.
Six months. No sex.

Okay, I know
how good your memory is,

but that doesn't sound right.

Then, well, trust me.
It is right.

And we really need to do
something about it.

DERRICK: Like what?

Like, take a vacation.

You know, we can do
a quick little weekend getaway.

It'd be fun.

Little bubbly, jacuzzi...

We could,
but I don't think I have

that kind of time right now,
neither do you.

Well, I don't care.
I'm willing to make the time.

Since when? Every time
I've tried to start something,

you're too busy studying.

Okay. Well, every time
I've tried to start something,

you're always
busy working.

And you know what?
We got married.

We've promised
ourselves that

we would never let it
get boring in the bedroom.

Do you remember that?
I remember.

So how is it that we manage
to let six whole months go by

and we barely even noticed?

Six months and nine days,
actually.

You know, I hate
that you're keeping

track of how often
we have sex.

Actually it's more like
I'm keeping

track of how often
we're not.

Well? What do you think?

Hmm, it's okay.

Yeah, I thought it'd be
a little bigger though.

So no get away.
Not even a weekend?

I want to, April.

I just don't see it
happening right now.

Great. Saying
"no" to vacation sex.

We're officially old.

Hey, guys.

Hi, Robin.
Hey.

Hey, how are you?

Good. How are you doing?
Good.

I really think you guys
are gonna like this one.

Come on, let's go see it.

So this is it.
Oh.

This property
just went on the market.

It's three bedrooms,
two and a half baths

and it's got a formal
dining room as you can see.

And, April, you are not going
to believe the closet space.

Oh, no. You hate it.

No. I don't hate it.
I really don't.

You know, I just
don't think this is the one.

Are you sure
you don't wanna

take a quick look
upstairs first?

Yeah, I'm sure.

What do you think?

To be honest,
I kind of like it.

But you know,
we both have to be happy.

I'm sorry.

I know this is like the
millionth house you've shown us.

It's okay.

We'll see a million more
if we have to.

All right.

Right.

Houses like people
they always

have some kind
of imperfection.

There's no such thing
as the perfect house.

There is
a perfect house for us.

It is out there.
All we have to do is find it.

( phone ringing )

Trouble.

Hey.

CHRISTY: What are you
doing right now?

Nothing. Well, I'm in the car,
driving with Derrick.

We're going home.

Good.
Come and have a drink with us.

We're at Rosie's.

Hi, Derrick!

Hi, Christy.

I can't. I have homework.

CHRISTY: Come on! One drink's
not gonna kill you...

Derrick, bring your wife
to me right now.

Wow.

One drink, that's it.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

So you guys have sex
on the motorcycle.

Yes. Top that.

I'm sorry, April.

I've heard this story before,
and I can confirm

that is in fact the case.

Yes. Thanks sweetie.

Okay, wait, wait.
I don't get it.

Look, how was he able to steer
and have sex

with you at the same time?

Yeah.

Oh, we weren't moving.
We were parked.

Parked?
Wait, that doesn't count.

Why? It was sex,
and it was on a motorcycle.

If the motorcycle
wasn't moving,

then it's not that impressive.

Not impressive?

Are you kidding me?

Do you know how much balance
and flexibility it takes to--

APRIL: A lot
balance and flexibility.

Hey, back me up on this.

What? No, I'm sorry, honey.

I am gonna have to go
with Derrick on this one.

Oh, no you suck.

You're not
my best friend anymore.

Huh, I am too
your best friend.

Okay, let's just think
of it this way:

What if I said
that I did it in the car,

but the car was
parked in the garage,

how could I call the big deal.

Right, but if the car's
flying down 405 freeway,

then you got bragging rights.

Give me some.
Aah.

That's not bad idea.

But it's always
jammed really.

Hi, guys. I'm sorry,
but your server had to run home

to handle an emergency,

so I'll be taking care of you
the rest of the night.

I'm Jessica.

Hi, Jessica.
You must be new here.

Kind of sort of.

I used to worked here
a couple years ago, then I left.

And now I'm back.

Great.
Welcome back.

Thanks.
So can I get anybody anything?

You know-- Actually,
well, we should be going.

Yes,
it's about that time.

No, no, no, no, no.
Stay for one more.

I can't.

Come on,
I got to hit the books.

All right.

So, what do you think?
You wanna head out or?

Um, no, I'm cool
sticking around.

Yeah, okay.
Okay.

All right.

Well, then I guess
we'll talk to you guys later.

Okay.
That's for--

No, no, no, that's for you.
You cheated.

All right.

And the first round
is on me, guys.

Oh, thanks.

I appreciate that, man.

Thank you.

I'll hit you later, bro.

Bye.
Thanks.

That wasn't funny.

So you guys good here.

Do you need anything else?

Yes. We have--
We need some bread.

Bread.

Can you top sex
on a motorcycle?

What are you doing?

I'm trying to distract you.

Oh.
Uh-huh.

Yeah, I can feel that.

No, no, no, no.
Come on, stop it.

I have got a ton of stuff,
I've gotta get into my head

by the end of the week.

And you also have
a six-months-and-nine-day

dry spell to break.

Okay.

Right after I'm done
with this, I promise you.

I'll be in, I'll be in.

Would you--

All right,
all right, all right.

Twenty minutes, okay.

You better make them count.

That's all I need.

Come here you.

Hi.

Give me a big kiss.

I'm so happy.

We got some time.

( PHONE RINGING )

No, no, no. Don't, don't even
think about it.

But I have to.
It's probably work.

I know.

And you can call them back

after you have sex
with your wife.

Mm-hmm.

No, Derrick, come on.

Come on, seriously,
would you--

Hello?

Why?
What happened?

No, I'm not coming in.
It's my day off.

It's not a lot of people.

You've cooked for
larger parties than that.

Look, I don't care that
they requested me.

I can't just--

Okay, fine.

I'm on my way.

Don't be mad.
I won't be long.

You will.
You'll be there all night.

But it's no big deal, right?

April, I'm doing
this for us.

You know, I wouldn't be able
to afford to buy the house

if the restaurant
wasn't doing so well.

Oh, okay. So you're buying the
house by yourself now?

That what's
happening?

You know, it's fine.
Just--

Just go.

I promise,
I won't be long, okay?

I promise.

( KNOCKING AT DOOR )

Wow.
You look like hell.

Shut up.

I'm horny
and I need coffee.

Come on.

Good morning.

So the cold
streak continues?

Hmm, unfortunately.

I have no idea
what I'm gonna do.

I even floated the idea of us
taking a quick vacation,

but he shot me down.

You know what?

Let's talk about
something else.

This is way too depressing.

What's too depressing?

April needs
more dick in her life.

Really?
Still?

What is problem?

I don't know.
It's like, forever.

It's been like--

Okay, hello.
Right here.

Hey, friend over here
dying inside wounded.

So could you maybe
not talk about me?

Like, not into--

Oh, hi.

Sorry.

It's okay.

April, you probably
remember Jessica?

Yeah, you're the waitress.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.
You mind if we get going?

Not at all.

Ladies, if you'll excuse us,

I have to give Jessica here
a drive back to her car.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, drive safe.

Yeah.
All right.

Bye.

Bye.

Uh, it was nice to see you.

Again.

Yeah.
You too.

What is wrong with you?

Why didn't you tell me
you guys had somebody over?

I wouldn't have just invited
myself in the way I did.

It's okay.
You didn't interrupt anything.

Go ahead, you know,
you wanna look.

You know I do.

Oh, man.

You guys work fast.

You just met the
poor girl last night.

Oh, what can I say?

You and Derrick left
and the three of us

sort of hit it off.

Yeah, yeah.
Right.

All right,
what's going on with you?

Come on.

I don't know.

I know we still
love each other

and we're still hot
for each other,

just like we're too busy
to enjoy each other.

And it wasn't always
like this I mean,

we used to do it
all the time.

But at some point,
I don't know. The sex

just kind of tapered off...

and I didn't realize
it was happening.

( DOOR OPENING )

Sorry, ladies.
Don't mind me.

That was fast.

Jessica forgot her phone.

Leave-behind.
Classic rookie move.

Means she liked us.

Got it.
See you later.

Bye.

Bye.

What are you thinking?

Nothing.

I just had a crazy thought.

Can I ask you
a personal question?

Of course you can.

No, like a really
personal question.

You okay?

Remember
when we went to Miami?

Yeah.
What about it?

We were on that
red-eye flight,

and at some point you realized
that everybody else

who've fallen asleep,
and so you dared me--

No, no, you double dared me

to sneak into the bathroom
with you.

And so I did.

Yeah, that was fun.
Mm-hmm.

We never do stuff
like that anymore.

What are you saying?

You want to have
sex on a plane again?

No.

Maybe not that, but I think
we should do something.

Something different.

Different like what?

APRIL: Matt and Christy
had a girl over last night.

DERRICK: Matt and Christy
always have a girl over.

Sometimes a girl and a guy.

APRIL: Yeah, I know.

So I had a thought.

What if we did
something like that?

What are you saying?

You wanna have
an open marriage?

No.

I was just thinking we could
try a one-time thing,

you know, just to get
our groove back.

All right.

DERRICK: What is this?
A test?

You're not saying that

you'd let me have
sex with Christy.

APRIL: It's not a test.

And trust me, it sound like,
I would love it,

but I don't know
I'd be there, too.

And wouldn't be like,
you were going behind my back.

Well...

I mean--

If you're serious, I--

Okay, I--

I'm down.

APRIL: Yeah?

Okay, good.

We'll figure out with a good
night for them and set it up.

DERRICK: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
"With them?"

Great dinner.

APRIL: Yeah.

The four of us.

That's what we've talking
about here, Derrick.

That's not
what I'm talking about.

What makes you think

I want to share our bed
with a man?

That's not
what I was thinking.

Why are you getting
so uncomfortable?

Because I'm comfortable
with three, not four.

So you're fine
with having sex with me

and another woman,
but the minute

I wanna throw
another man in the mix,

that's the deal breaker.

DERRICK: Don't ask me
to explain it, but that's--

It's different.

APRIL: Yeah, you know,
I can explain it.

It's called
a double standard.

You know, Derrick, we don't
even have to try this.

It was just an idea.

But if you think
I'm not gonna call you

out for bullshit,
you're crazy.

Okay, I'll do it.

But, I don't want him
touching me.

I don't want him
on my side of the bed.

I don't want the lights on.

I don't even want to know
he is in the room.

And if that makes me crazy

and uptight then
that's just what I'll be.

Okay, you're not crazy
or uptight.

Look, all we have to do
is set the ground rules

and nobody
will have a problem.

Mmm.
You smell good.

How long have you been up?

Not long.

Are you okay?

Yeah.
Fine.

Good.

( APRIL MOANING )

Oh, sounds like
they're back in business.

Hmm.

Look like our job
here is done.

APRIL: Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, guys,
we're gonna go now.

APRIL: Bye.

Thanks.

Have a good time.

What time's your interview?

In a couple of hours.
I'm heading out soon.

All right.

I got to go.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Hey.

So I just want to say,

I had fun last night.

Yeah.
Me, too.

Yeah.

If you want to, you know,
see Derrick again,

just let me know.

I'll clear out.

Uh, we're not seeing either
of them again, remember?

Not like last night.
That was just a favor.

What do you mean?

You know we're not supposed
to mess around with friends.

Friends get weird.
Things get complicated.

Okay.

Right.

Jesus.

Was she that good?
Should I be worried?

She was okay.

But she sure
as hell wasn't you.

Uh-huh.
All right.

That's more like it.

You wanna know
how Derrick was?

I'll tell you everything.

Not the least bit curious.

Hmm, jeez.

I already knew that.
Okay.

Call me and let me know
how it goes.

Okay. I will.

I'll mail these
while I'm out.

Ooh, actually, you can't.

I'm sorry I thought we had
enough to cover the checks

I wrote, but we don't.

So they'll have to wait
until we get some money.

I pay it on Friday.

Friday, then.
Okay.

God, I hope
you get this job.

Don't worry.

I'll make them love me.

I know you will.

Did I tell you how amazing
you were last night?

Nope.

Well, you were
amazing last night.

Thanks.

You're kinda
quiet this morning.

You all right?

Yep.

Okay.

Hey, you know
what'd be great?

If you use two words to answer
me instead of just one.

I'm just wondering...

why was so important
for you to do this.

What do you mean?
You know why.

We talked about it.

I know, but--

You know what?
Forget it.

Oh, don't do that.

You know I hate it
when you do that.

Just tell me
what's on your mind.

You let him go down on you.

So?

So I thought that was
off-limits.

What made you think that?

You never let me do it.

Don't "let" you?

Excuse me, but you
choose not to do it.

And I choose
not to complain about it.

Yeah.

You don't
complain about it.

You just get me

to let somebody else
come in here

and do it for you.

What?
Hold up.

What are you saying?

Are you saying that
I tricked you into this?

I don't know.
Did you?

All right, you know what?

Can we just start this
whole conversation over?

We don't have to.
Just forget I said anything.

What was I
supposed to do?

I mean, look--

It's not like I planned it.

Oh, my God.

He just sort of--

He just went for it
and I just--

Was I supposed
to tell him stop?

Like I said, we don't
need to talk about this.

Derrick, why?
How?

I wouldn't understand

how you can be
jealous right now.

It is not like
I cheated on you!

You were right there!

Really?

Yeah, really.
What? This is crazy.

Mm-hmm.

I thought we were
finally good.

We just had sex
in the fucking bathroom!

I didn't initiate that.

What?

Like I said, I didn't start
the bathroom thing.

Oh.

You came in there
while I'm taking a shower

and jumped all over me.

It is what it is.

Right. Apparently it is.
Okay. I got you.

I got you.

All right, so when you have
a problem with me,

you can fuck me, right?

But you can't talk to me.

It's a perk.

Well, I'm glad
that I'm still good

for something around here.

Me too.

( KNOCKING AT DOOR )

Hey, April.

Hi.

I need Christy.

She is not here.
She got called into work.

Oh, shit.

What's wrong?

It's nothing.
I'm sorry I bothered you.

You guys had a fight,
didn't you?

About last night?

How'd you know?

That look on your face?
I've seen it before.

You wanna--

You wanna talk about it?

Only if you're not busy,

because I really need to get
out of here for a little while.

My day's wide open.

So what happened?

He got mad because--

Because?

What?

What's so funny?

Oh, it's nothing.
You know, I'm sorry.

I don't think I could
talk to you about this.

I thought I could, but now
that I'm actually sitting here.

I don't think I can.

Well, okay.

If you don't
wanna talk about it,

we don't have
to talk about it.

But you shouldn't
feel awkward with me.

I mean, I know, I know,
but we're still friends.

Yeah, we're friends
that slept together.

And we're married.

I know. I know.

Oh, God.
This is so strange.

And I thought
this was supposed to be

every man's fantasy, right?

I mean, come on.

And now
he's trying to act like

he is some sort of victim.

Is that why you did it?
Just-- just for him?

No, I did it for me, too.

Yeah?
I did.

Yeah.

Yeah, I did that.

I don't know,
I thought it would just

kind of bring
the magic back...

but instead it's just
blowing up in my face.

So how do you
and Christy do it?

Do what?

Well, I get behind her,
she does her taxes and I--

And I could take her
and then she is like, "1099!"

She finishes-- yeah.
We always do taxes.

That's amazing.
I know.

It's good and efficient.

Oh, they've got
a good lotion here.

Okay.

So, I think I figured out

what started your fight
with Derrick.

Hmm.
Mm-hmm.

Is that what you've been
thinking about all this time?

Yeah.

So we're gonna do this.
All right, fine, yeah.

Tell me your little theory.

I think...

that when you
and Derrick have sex...

you don't always,
you know, finish

or he finishes before you.

But, you know,
hey, with me...

you made it all the way there,
and I think--

I think he found
that kind of threatening.

Nice try.

You're not even close.

Come on.
You can be honest with me.

Well, I am being honest.

Trust me, Derrick
is good in that department.

How good?

Better than me?

Matt, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm asking
you a question.

No, you're flirting with me.

Yeah.

I like flirting with you.

Stop it.

I mean it.

Okay.

Okay.
I'm sorry.

Look, I'm trying
to fix something here,

not make it worse,
you know.

Yeah.

And if you can't help me,
or just listen to me vent,

well then, you know,

we should just
probably just go.

April, wait.

Okay.

You're right.
You are.

I just thought that
you and I had...

a really strong connection
last night.

A lot stronger than I thought
it was gonna be.

But if I misread
the situation, okay.

You know, just say the word,
I'll back off.

We had sex.

We didn't "connect."

You know, I'm not
one of these girls that you

and Christy take home and--

Oh, come on.
Yeah.

Okay.
You know what?

Whatever.

That's-- yeah.

This was stupid.

I should just go.

Okay?
Yeah.

Thanks for picking up
the check.

And don't worry,
I'll pay you back.

Money's just, you know,

it's been
a little tight lately.

( PHONE RINGING )

Hi, Robin.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.
I'd like to.

I just--I don't know
if we can make it.

Yeah, but see Derrick
is probably, you know,

he is at work now and--

Yeah, actually, yes.

We'll make it.
I'll get him there.

So what time are
you thinking?

Oh, okay, cool.
Yeah.

Let me give you
a call back.

Okay bye.

Hey, Derrick.

Your wife's here.

You want me to tell her
you're busy?

No, I got it, Kevin.
Thanks.

This is ready to go.

Okay.

Hey.

Do you get a break soon?

I have an hour coming up.
Why?

Robin called.

She wants us
to look at another place.

Okay.

Can you hang out for a few?

I'll be here.

All right.

ROBIN:
Now I'll be honest.

This one is at the upper end
of your price range,

but I still wanted
you to see it.

It has a fantastic
gourmet kitchen,

all the cabinets
are brand-new,

and the master bedroom
suite opens up

onto a beautiful
covered patio.

Are they flexible
on the price?

Well, I know
the other agent.

So there's definitely
wiggle room.

It's nice,
don't you think?

Yeah.

Big backyard.
We could put in a pool.

Yeah.

And there's only three
registered sex offenders

in this neighborhood.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think we're gonna
pass on this one.

Yeah, I'm getting
that feeling, too.

What?

"Registered sex offender?"

I was teasing you.

It didn't seem like you
were paying too much

attention back there.

I was paying attention.

I just don't think
that that's our house.

What was wrong with it?
Is it too big?

Is it too small?

Not enough bedrooms?
What?

I don't know.

I can't put
my finger on it.

I just know that the moment
we walked into the house

that's meant for us,
I'll know.

We both will.

I guess we'll keep
looking, then.

Okay, you know that
I'm so mad at you, right?

I know.

And I apologize
I should have never said

those things to you.

I just got freaked out
last night.

I thought I would be able
handle what happened.

And but seeing it for myself I--

Whatever.
It was my fault, not yours.

And I just need
to get past it.

All right, you don't
ever get to talk to me

the way you did.

Ever again.

I won't.
I won't.

I promise.

CHRISTY: Babe!

Hey.

You will never guess
what happened.

What?

They offered me a full-time
teaching position.

Starting Monday.

Are you serious?
Yeah.

I mean, there is
a little bit of paperwork,

but as of next week I--

I'm officially
part of the faculty

and not just a substitute.

That's amazing.
My God.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Thank you.
Wow. Good work.

So how did your thing go?

What thing?

Your interview, silly.

I was expecting a call
or a text or something.

Oh, that.
Yeah.

They called and pushed it
back to tomorrow.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Well, that just means
you have another day

to prepare, right?

That's right.

So what have you been
doing all day?

Nothing.

Just hanging out.

You haven't even
left the house?

Nope.

Okay.
Come on.

You're getting dressed.

What for?

We're gonna go celebrate.

Well, to my girl Christy,
the best teacher ever.

Yes, I don't know
about all that.

I just hope I don't warp
their little brains too badly.

Yeah.
Me too.

Okay.
Where is Derrick?

He said he'd come right back
and hang out.

Well, you know,
it's the top of a shift.

So he's got a slice and dice
and make it all fabulous.

But I wanted us
to have a little--

Oh, oh.

Wow!

I think you're really
happy about--

Yes, I am.
All right, okay.

I have to now go
take my clothes off.

Oh, wow.
All right.

Do you--
Okay.

You're not still
mad at me, are you?

You know, that depends.

Are you gonna
hit on me again?

No.

But for the record,

I do think
you kind of overreacted.

Well, you know
for the record,

you did kind of go way
over the line.

Okay.

I guess we'll just
agree to disagree, then.

You know, I actually
have a better idea.

How about we agree
that you are wrong?

Okay.
Fine.

I was wrong.

Dinner's on us,
by the way.

You don't have to do that.

And Derrick hates
it when his friends pay.

Yeah, but that was
before I slept with his wife.

Why don't you say
that a little louder?

I don't think everybody
heard you.

I'm sorry.
Was I over the line again?

APRIL: Wait.

Hold on.

Try to the right.

No, no, no, my right.

Could you just--

Okay.

All right, let's just stop.

What's wrong?

Nothing, I just--

Come up here.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.
I just wanted you next to me.

Oh, I get it.

You're trying to tell me

I don't know
what I'm not doing.

No.
I didn't say that.

You didn't have to.

What are you doing?

Okay, let's try it again.

What for?

I obviously don't know
what I'm doing.

Not like Matt.

Will you talk to me, please?

Okay.

You all set?

Yeah...

I think so.

Hey, how come they pushed
your job interview

from yesterday to today?

Oh.

The guy had a conflict.

I think it was a family
emergency or something.

Oh.

So they called and asked you
to come in today instead.

Yeah.

They called you.

Christy, yes.

Why do you ask?

No reason.

They called again when you
were in the shower.

You're confirmed
for this afternoon.

Okay.
Good.

Thanks.

Good luck.

Thank you.

APRIL: And then
he just walked out.

And I tried to get him
to talk to me,

but he just left
without saying anything.

And he knows how much
I hate it when he does that.

You know, I think
he did on purpose.

And you're not even
listening to me.

So--

Hey.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

What?

I am, I am.

No, you're not.

You're off on another
planet somewhere.

All right, fess up?
What's going on with you?

Something's going
on with Matt.

He had this big job
interview yesterday,

one he was really
excited about.

But I think he ended up
blowing it off.

Well, what makes you
think that?

Because the company
called this morning.

He was in the shower,
so I answered his phone.

They wanted to confirm that
he was coming in today,

since he called them yesterday
and asked them to push it back.

Except he'd already lied to me
and said they pushed it back.

So he had plans yesterday?

Yeah.

But apparently he ended up
doing something else.

I just don't know what.

Christy--

Oh, my God.

I'm so stupid.

I bet it was Jessica.

Who?

Jessica, that god dammed
waitress.

Well...

that's just perfect.

We're barely able
to pay our bills

and he's skipping job
interviews,

so he can chase
some girl behind my back.

I'm gonna kill him.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to dump
all that on you.

No, it's okay.

Hey.

Hey.

Oh. Hang on a second.

I, uh--
I wanted to give you this.

What's that for?

Dinner last night.

I know you prefer to treat,
but --

Here. Just take it.

Don't worry about it.

I'm not worried about it.

I'd just rather pay
my own way.

Since when?

You guys have been
eating at my restaurant

ever since I started
working there,

and I've never seen
you all stressed out

about picking up
a bill before.

Nobody's stressed out.

I just don't need your charity,
Derrick.

Last time I heard,
you still didn't have a job.

So the way I see it,
you do need my charity.

All right.

You're right.
I guees you're right.

I did need your help.

Like you needed mine.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well...

somebody had to teach you
how to satisfy April.

Come to think of it,

you never did
thank me for that.

So maybe we'll just
call it even, and--

Shut the fuck up.

She told me you were jealous.

She fucking told me.
And I don't blame you.

It was probably the best fucking
sex she's had in a long--

Hmm? Keep talking.

Do you regret it, Derrick?

Letting another man
fuck your wife?

God, this is so frustrating.

But all he keeps saying is

he doesn't
wanna talk about it.

Yeah, you know, I got home
right after it happened.

Look, from what I heard,

it sounds
they were both being idiots,

and things got
a little out of control.

All right.
So what do we do?

We get them sit down
together and iron it out?

Because if that doesn't work,

I'm willing to knock some sense
into both of them.

Okay easy. I don't think
we need to go that far.

You know, I just hate
that all this craziness

made Matt miss
his interview again.

He didn't go?

Didn't he tell you?

He hasn't told me
anything--

God. I just assumed--

All right, I got to go.

You know, Christy wait just--

Oh, shit.

You know, you could've
at least told me

you missed your interview.

I don't know if you noticed,

but I kind of got my ass
kicked today.

I can't exactly go in there
spitting up blood.

Did they let you
reschedule.

Oh, man.

I didn't even call them back.
I forgot.

Matt, what is
going on with you?

Do you even want this job?

Of course I do.

Then maybe
you can explain to me

why these things
keep happening.

What things are you
talking about?

You lied to me
about why you didn't go

to the interview.

And today, you just
happen to get into a fight

when you're on the way
to interview--

Wait a minute.
I never lied to you.

Yes, you did.

I talked to them
when you were in the shower.

They told me you canceled
on them,

but that's isn't
what you told me.

Okay, so I got
the details mixed up.

What difference does it make?

The difference is that,
I'm not a fool.

Matt.

I know what
you've been up to.

Christy--

Don't.

If you want to keep
seeing Jessica,

then just be honest about it.

You don't have to sneak around,

worrying about keeping
your story straight.

Matt.

I get it.
I do.

Jessica's hot.

And she was fun
to fool around with.

And--

But you can't let her interfere
with you finding a job,

because we're really hanging
by a thread here.

I know we are.

But I haven't seen Jessica
since we saw Jessica.

I haven't even talked to her.

So you can stop worrying
about that.

Are you sure?

Because this has been
driving me crazy.

I'm positive.

You're worrying yourself
sick over nothing.

Maybe I am.

I have been
stressing a lot lately.

And it doesn't help
that Derrick and April

buying a house and starting
this great new life together

and we're sitting here
stuck in the mud.

I know.
But it'll be our turn soon.

It better be.

I tried calling you.
A few times.

I know.

Look, I know I went a little
overboard earlier, but--

Don't apologize to me.
Matt's downstairs.

I'm not talking about Matt.

I don't care about Matt.
I'm talking about you and I.

Us trying to be
like them was stupid.

We should never tried
to be like Matt and Christy.

We're not them,
and we never will be.

I wasn't trying
to be like anybody.

I was just trying
to get closer to you.

You--

You don't regret it?

Why should I?

April, you slept
with another man.

And where were you
when that happening?

Oh, yeah.

You were right there
next to me,

having sex
with another woman.

Yeah.

And I'm ashamed of it.

You shouldn't be, Derrick.

You shouldn't be
ashamed of anything
that we did that night.

There is anything
you should be ashamed about is

the way you been
acting ever since.

( knocking on door )

Hi.

Hey, April.

I came by to say
I'm sorry for outing you.

You "outed" me?

Last night.

On the phone
with Christy

I said something about you not
making it to your interview,

I-- I had no idea that
she didn't already know.

Don't worry about that.

We worked it all out.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Are you sure?
I'm positive.

So, how you're
feeling today, champ?

Don't you start.

I embarrass easily.

I know.

I'm...I'm fine.

Thanks.

Good.

I--I could use
some air, though.

So you are saying
you're not a perfectionist.

Oh, wow.

So you're just
taking his side.

It's out.
No, no, no, that's okay.

I know your bromance,
so it's all good.

Great.

So I have a question.

Okay.

Why didn't
you just call me?

I mean this morning.

Something as simple
as a quick apology,

normally you'd just
pick up the phone for that.

I don't know.

I guess I just wanted
to make sure that you're okay.

It happens just, you know,
men have a tendency

to want to pretend
that they are not hurt.

Well, I knew that
you couldn't do it

if I was--
if I was looking at you.

Yeah.

So, see, you were
worried about me?

Yeah.

Si. Okay.

I'm about to hit you.

No, no, the whole family.

All right, yes.

I admit it, I was
little bit worried.

The other day you said
that you weren't busy.

That wasn't true.

No.
No, it wasn't.

I had an interview

but I moved it
at the last minute.

Matt, you haven't worked
in like eight months.

And then this
big opportunity comes by

and you just blew it off.

How come?

Because you knocked
on my door.

All right, come on.
I'm trying to be serious here.

So am I.

I wanted to spend
some time with you alone.

So that's what I did.

That's what I do.

Don't you think that was
a little irresponsible?

It was totally
irresponsible.

So then why did you do it?

Come on, because
we connected the other night?

Yes.

Because of that.

And because...

I haven't been able to get you
out of my head ever since.

I'm married, Matt.

And so are you.

I know.

You know, you know,

Derrick's is pissing me off
right now, I still love him.

I know that, too.

Good...

'cause I would
never do anything
to hurt him or Christy.

What if Christy
was okay with it?

Okay with what?

With me
joining your little harem?

Is that where you think
this is going?

All right.

You know I'd actually need
to get back to studying

so we should just go.

Just for the record,

I don't actually
have a harem.

I know you don't.

All right.

That was mean
and judgmental.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

No, don't be sorry.

Please.

I love finding out
what you really think of us.

Okay, stop it
with the drama.

Okay, that is not
what I think.

Okay then,
let's have it.

Have what?

What you do think.

Whatever you imagine
goes on with us.

All right, you know
I love you guys, right?

Oh boy, where is this going?

Okay.

But I can never
tell Christy this

because I don't think
it was my place

but I just kind of
always felt like

the whole open marriage thing
was just sort of...

bullshit.

How so?

It's basically
legalized cheating.

What?

I mean, come on,
am I wrong?

I know it might look
that way from the outside

I get it, but yes,
you're wrong.

I don't cheat on Christy.
On my wife.

Okay,
how do you not cheat

when you're sleeping
with other people?

Was it cheating when you
and Derrick slept with us?

No.

Okay, but well,
that's different

because we talked
about it beforehand

and we made
an agreement.

Exactly.

Christy and I
made one too.

So what's
the difference between

agreeing for one night versus
an entire relationship?

Thanks
for checking up on me.

You're welcome.

And you know, I'm sorry
that I snapped at you.

Oh, don't worry
about that.

I deserved it.

Yeah, you did.
Mm-hmm.

Why do
I ever admit fault?

But either way
I shouldn't have done it.

Okay, I'll accept your apology
if you'll accept mine.

Deal.

Still friends?

Always.
Okay.

Oh, hey.

Hi.

You on your way out?

I was just gonna
go downstairs

and talk to Christy
about something.

Well, I think
I just saved you a trip.

Hey.

Told you
I was gonna do it.

Do what?

Stage an intervention.

You should've
seen him downstairs

moping around
like he lost his best friend.

I saw Derrick
pulling up outside

and I--
I thought all right,

you guys are gonna sit down
and work this out.

Yeah.

So here we are.

Yeah.

All right,
let's do this.

And I, uh...

I realized that

I was way out of line
for all the things I said.

I was wrong.

And--so I want--

I want to say I'm sorry.

I was wrong,
too.

about a lot of things.

See how easy that was?

And it only took,
like, ten seconds.

I mean,
unless you got something

you want
to apologize for, too.

What?

I'm just saying,
since we're on a roll here

if you got something you want
to confess, now is the time.

No.

I'm good.

Perfect.

Because I need a drink.

Yeah, me too.

Picked your poison.

( phone rings )

Oh, great.
It's Robin.

Here, I'll talk with her.

Hey, Robin.

Yeah, no, no, no.

Sorry, it's just been
a crazy day.

What?

Right now, really?

She wants
to show us a place.

Not now.

Sure.
Sure.

She says, she thinks
that we will love it,

but we've got
to see it today.

The listing's going out
in the morning.

All right.

Text us the address.

Yep, all right.

See you soon.
Thanks, bye.

You guys want
to come along?

Derrick,
they're probably tired.

Come on,
it's five minutes, in and out.

Yeah.
Sure.

All right,
come on in, guys.

Wow.
Nice.

It's beautiful,
isn't it?

It's a just under
2,000 square feet its--

I want to hear
about this one.

Okay.

It's got four bedrooms,
two and a half baths.

Um, it's got
a detached two-car garage,

and the owners already
replaced the roof.

God,
I love the windows.

So what do you think?

It's nice.

And what do you think?

I think--
it feels like us.

"Us" is in you and Derrick.

Me and Derrick are the only
"us" that I'm a part of, Matt.

What happened today
didn't happen.

Yes, it did.

Not if I say it didn't.

And we are not gonna
talk about this here.

We're not gonna talk
about this anywhere.

Ever again.

Look, I'm not gonna--

DERRICK: April!

I'm in here!

Well,
what do you think?

I-- I love it.
Good.

She says, she thinks
it's gonna go fast,

so if we want it,
we need to jump.

Then I say let's jump.

Perfect.

Robin did it.

I mean, she did it.

That was the one,
absolutely.

It's good. It's good.
It's beautiful.

It's roomy,
spacious enough for us.

Spacious?
Did you see the bathtub?

With the whirlpool jets
and everything?

I could just crawl inside
that thing and take a nap.

Well, anytime
you want to come over
and use it, just call.

Okay, I will.

I take that as an
open invitation.

APRIL: Okay, I hate
to break this to you,

but I think we just ended
with a permanent houseguest.

Yeah, I think we did.

What's up?

You okay?

Yeah.

But there's something
I should probably tell you.

Four bedrooms.

I know.

One could be a nursery.

I know.

( knocking on door )

All right, all right,
I should probably just get that.

I'll be right back.

I promise
I'll be right back.

Hey.

Are you fucking
kidding me?

I asked you.

I asked if Matt had been
with somebody else,

and you lied to me.

You looked me
right in the eye and lied.

Hey, Christy,
just calm down, okay?

I don't know
what you're talking about,

and I never
have lied to you.

You did.

You said Matt wasn't here

with another girl
the other day, but he was.

He was with you.

Christy, nothing happened
between me and Matt.

April, I know
you kissed him.

Okay, Christy, just listen.

Let me just explain, okay.

That was--that happen
sort of by accident.

Really?

Really, was it by accident

that you've been hanging out
with him ever since that night

and keeping it
a secret?

But was it an accident
when you said

my whole relationship
was bullshit?

Yeah,
he told me everything.

He didn't have to tell me

how stupid I was
for trying to help you.

That part
I figured out for myself.

Wait Christy, just--

I don't know
what to say, Derrick.

Just say what happened.

The morning
after we all were together,

I went looking for Christy
but she wasn't home.

So I was really upset

because of all the things
you had said to me,

and I just--I just needed
somebody to talk to.

I don't need you to go
through all the details.

Just get to the part
where you fucked him.

I didn't.

It was just a kiss.
Just one kiss.

And why should
I believe you?

Because that's the truth.

I don't think you know
what the truth is, April.

And I don't think you care.

You looked
at me every day,

and kept your dirty
little secrets,

and let me walk around
here like a goddamn fool.

No, no, no.

It was not like that.

I promise you there weren't
any dirty little secrets.

God, nothing even happened
until today.

Is that
when you had sex with him?

Stop asking me that.

I already told you
I didn't sleep with him.

I'll stop asking
when I believe the answer.

The only time I slept with Matt
was when you were there.

Which sounds more
and more crazy to me

every time I hear myself
say it out loud, but that's it.

Okay, that's it.

That's all
you're gonna get from me

because that's the truth.

You asked me if--if I'm--

I regretted us
hooking up with them.

And I told you
that I didn't.

And I still don't

because as stupid as it was,

it was a decision
that we made together.

But I do regret
everything else.

And...

it's the only explanation
I have is that

I was wrong.

I just want to know
if you fucked him.

That's all.

No.

But you wanted to.

Yes.

But I didn't.

I would never ever do
anything like that to you.

Well, now you can.

( knocking on door )

Congratulations.

You win.

I win what?

Derrick's gone.

He just left,

and I don't think
he's coming back.

Well, that's what
you wanted, isn't it?

I just wanted Christy
to know the truth.

Why?

So it could
get back to Derrick?

Matt, you had
to know that it would.

I guess you're right.

I probably should've
thought of that.

She's got a point, you know.

Why did you tell me?

Was it because you knew
I would confront her?

Oh, my God.

You were trying
to break them up.

Oh, my God.

What the hell
is wrong with you

that is so far
beyond fucked up?

I can't even believe it.

No, no you are not!

You are not gonna leave--

we're gonna deal
with this right now!

I get it, Christy!
I fucked up!

Is that what do
you want me to say?

I want you to get this
through your head.

April doesn't want you,
she doesn't want us

and she doesn't
want our lifestyle.

She wants her husband.

And if she didn't,

you wouldn't have needed
to sabotage their marriage.

Are you in love with her?

No.

I thought I was
but I'm not.

I knew it.

I knew.

Getting involved
with friends was a mistake.

I told you it would
get complicated

but you made me feel like
I was worried over nothing.

I can't believe
I fell for that shit.

I'm really sorry.

I don't know
what else to say.

You don't have
to say anything, Matt.

You've done
enough damage.

( knocking on door )

Is he back?

Did you try calling him?

I called.
I texted.

I emailed.

He won't talk to me.

Are you and Matt
breaking up?

I wouldn't give him
the satisfaction.

He will be paying
for this

for the rest
of his miserable life.

He'll beg for death
by the time I'm done.

I'm so sorry, Christy.

I know you are.

I mean it.

I really hate myself
right now.

I hate you too.

Come here.

I tried calling you,
a lot.

Where'd you sleep
last night?

All right, can you please
say something to me

so I know that
I still exist to you?

I'm looking
for my phone charger.

Have you seen it?

So we're not even gonna
try to work this out?

There's nothing
to work out.

Derrick, don't you--
don't you think

you're being a little
melodramatic about this.

I mean,
it was just a kiss.

It was just one little kiss.

And I already admitted
that I was wrong.

I mean, what else
do you want from me?

I don't want
anything from you.

That's what
you don't understand.

There's nothing you can say
to make me trust you again.

Well, if we don't
have that,

I-- I guess we
don't have anything.

I guess we don't.

Hey.

Hi.

Look, I--

I know that everything
that happened is my fault.

I screwed up.

I don't know what else to say.

Yeah, I don't either.

I just know that
I'm way past the point

of worrying about
who is at fault.

Do you think it would help
if I tried talking to him?

No.

What do you want?

I want you to stop
being a dick.

Just leave me
alone, Christy.

Everybody is sorry, Derrick.

April's sorry.
Matt's sorry.

I'm sorry,
and I didn't even do anything.

Look, they cheated on us.

That might mean nothing
to you and your little world,

but it means a lot to me.

I'm not exactly thrilled
about it, either.

But we're not
talking about me.

You and April have
a strong relationship.

You can get past this.

Not if I don't want to.

So you'd rather be
all morally outraged

than fix your marriage?

Just because you're wearing
that wedding ring

doesn't give you the right
to lecture me about marriage.

My marriage was real.

Not just
for show like yours.

Okay, this whole thing

is as much your fault
as it is April's.

You went into it
with both eyes open,

and this is the stuff
that can sometimes happen.

Matt and I should've said no
to you guys in the first place.

But we didn't.
So here we are.

Yeah. Here we are.

( knocking on door )

Hi, Robin.

Hi, I'm really sorry
to drop in on you like this,

but was
in the neighborhood

so I figured
I would drop this by.

What is this?

Your offer letter.

Now I don't mean
to rush you guys,

but I just want to hurry up
and get it signed

before anybody else
can squeak by us.

I'm sorry.

I should've called you.

I just assumed that
Derrick would have.

Oh, no.
It's okay.

Like I said, I was
in the neighborhood.

No, that's not what I mean.

Derrick and I--

wow, this
is embarrassing.

We're not buying the house.

We're not buying any house.

We're--we're not
together anymore.

Oh, my god.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.
Thank you.

Well, look I don't
want to interfere,

but if there's anything
I can do, please let me know.

I will.

And April,
if it's any consolation,

I know
what you're going through.

I've been exactly
where you are.

Twice, in fact.

Really?

Two divorces under my belt.

Now the first one was
a mistake right from the start

but the second time

I should have worked a lot
harder to save that one.

Funny thing is,
the idea of refusing

to throw in the towel
was even an option.

But once we --

I'm sorry.
I'm--I have to go.

Thank you so much.

You can't be back here.

You promised me a house.

Go home.
We'll talk about it later.

You said that
if you kept working

and if I stayed in school that
we'd have a house of our own.

Well, we finally found one.

And it's just sitting there.

It's waiting for us.

Look, Robin brought over
the offer letter.

All-- all we have
to do is sign this

and the house is ours.

April, if you brought this
over here for me to sign--

No, that is not
why I came here.

April.

April,
what are you doing.

Are you crazy?
What?

I love that house, Derrick.

I could grow old
in that house

but if it doesn't include you
I don't want it.

Derrick, I made a mistake.

A lot of mistakes
I can admit that.

But when you married me
you said that

you would love me
no matter what.

And this--this is
the "no matter what" part.

And I wish--I wish
I could change what happened

but I know that I can't.

But I also know that

I'm not leaving here
without my husband.

I'm not letting you go.

And what if this doesn't work?

What if we can't
get past this, huh?

We will.

We have to.

Because, Derrick--Derrick,

I don't want to keep
setting things on fire

and you know I would.

Just stay away
from my stove.

We'll talk about it later,
go home.

Yes.

Now get out of here.

And take this with you.

Go home.

That's it.
Truck's empty.

Oh, wow.

Well, thank you guys,
so much for all your help.

That's what
we're here for.

Hey, we got some beers
if you guys, want to hang.

That's okay.
We should get going.

Let you guys dig
through the mess.

So sweet of you
to leave like this.

I'm sweet.

Thanks, Matt.

Yeah.
Okay.

Call you later.

Okay.
Oh, boy.

Now it begins.
Yeah.

I was, like,
what's appropriate to wear?

He's your teacher.

Oh, well, good one.

I mean, I don't
want them to feel--

Yeah, don't
corrupt them now.

But I didn't
want them to.
Yeah.

Yeah, don't do that.

Oh, hey.

Hey, you must be
my new neighbors.

Yeah.
Hi, I'm Matt.

Nice to meet you.
Same here.

Jordan.

Hi. I'm Jordan.
Christy.

I'm Christy.

You're Jordan,
I'm Christy.

That's right.

Yeah, that cleared
it up.

Okay, you need a hand
with anything?

No, I don't have that much.
But thanks.

Well, welcome.

And you know, I guess
we'll see you around.

Definitely.
All right.

Nice talking to you.
Jordan.

Bye.

What are you thinking about?

Four bedrooms.

I'm thinking we actually
have four bedrooms.

I know.

One could be a nursery.

I know.

I love you.

I love you, too.