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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,236 --> 00:00:18,396 I have to fly to Roswell, New Mexico. 2 00:00:18,446 --> 00:00:19,981 -For how long? -Indefinitely. 3 00:00:20,031 --> 00:00:21,733 Previously on Now Apocalypse: 4 00:00:21,783 --> 00:00:23,109 Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions? 5 00:00:23,159 --> 00:00:24,736 -Help me! -[hissing] 6 00:00:24,786 --> 00:00:27,656 They keep fucking me. They won't stop. 7 00:00:27,706 --> 00:00:29,950 Remember my cam client, Worm? 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,910 ULYSSES: Is this the pee guy? 9 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,411 Here you go. My phone number's on there, too, you know. 10 00:00:33,461 --> 00:00:35,539 I... have a- a girlfriend. 11 00:00:35,589 --> 00:00:37,215 [giggling] Oops. 12 00:00:40,176 --> 00:00:41,753 I'm in fucking love. 13 00:00:41,803 --> 00:00:44,130 ULYSSES: It...it just feels right. 14 00:00:44,180 --> 00:00:47,133 And, unlike Gabriel, he doesn't disappear every five seconds. 15 00:00:47,183 --> 00:00:48,134 [beeping] 16 00:00:48,184 --> 00:00:49,686 -Carly?! -Oh, my God. 17 00:00:51,335 --> 00:00:53,454 ULYSSES: Do you ever think about the future? 18 00:00:53,857 --> 00:00:55,025 Our future, you mean? 19 00:00:57,235 --> 00:00:58,486 Not just our future. 20 00:01:00,530 --> 00:01:01,615 Like, in general. 21 00:01:04,451 --> 00:01:05,869 Sure, of course. Why? 22 00:01:07,245 --> 00:01:08,947 Sometimes... 23 00:01:08,997 --> 00:01:12,784 I think about the future, and I get super tense... 24 00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,203 and anxious... 25 00:01:15,253 --> 00:01:17,289 and I feel this horrible black dread 26 00:01:17,339 --> 00:01:19,374 churning in the pit of my stomach, 27 00:01:19,424 --> 00:01:20,542 like a tumor. 28 00:01:20,592 --> 00:01:21,676 But, lately, I just... 29 00:01:23,136 --> 00:01:24,137 feel kind of happy. 30 00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:34,097 ♪ She flies ♪ 31 00:01:34,147 --> 00:01:36,349 ♪ She's gone to ride... ♪ 32 00:01:36,399 --> 00:01:38,643 ULYSSES: I'm gonna take a shower now, if that's OK. 33 00:01:38,693 --> 00:01:40,520 Of course. 34 00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:42,397 Yeah, I just, uh, feel a little crusty 35 00:01:42,447 --> 00:01:44,357 from last night. 36 00:01:44,407 --> 00:01:46,526 I kind of like the idea of you walking around all day 37 00:01:46,576 --> 00:01:49,195 with my dry cum on you, but... 38 00:01:49,245 --> 00:01:50,947 Wow, well... 39 00:01:50,997 --> 00:01:52,082 If you put it that way... 40 00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:55,368 I'm just kidding... 41 00:01:55,418 --> 00:01:57,329 But not really 'cause it's really fucking hot. 42 00:01:57,379 --> 00:01:59,205 How about I take a shower, 43 00:01:59,255 --> 00:02:00,915 and then you can come on me again, if you want. 44 00:02:00,965 --> 00:02:02,008 Deal. 45 00:02:05,552 --> 00:02:07,011 So, what do you want to do today? 46 00:02:10,266 --> 00:02:12,093 -[blows raspberry] -I don't know. 47 00:02:12,143 --> 00:02:15,472 It's so rare that you have a day off. 48 00:02:15,522 --> 00:02:18,016 So, we could hang out in the daytime. 49 00:02:18,066 --> 00:02:20,226 I know. 50 00:02:20,276 --> 00:02:22,062 Let's eat a giant breakfast somewhere 51 00:02:22,112 --> 00:02:24,773 and then do something random, like... 52 00:02:24,823 --> 00:02:26,157 Have you ever been to the zoo? 53 00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:29,611 No, but that sounds awesome. 54 00:02:29,661 --> 00:02:31,246 OK, cool. It's a plan. 55 00:02:36,042 --> 00:02:39,546 ["Celia's Dream" by Slowdive playing] 56 00:02:41,673 --> 00:02:46,670 ♪ Love just for a day ♪ 57 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,171 [cell phone pings] 58 00:02:48,221 --> 00:02:51,850 ♪ And all the time I feel... ♪ 59 00:02:58,815 --> 00:03:00,608 Why have you been ignoring my messages? 60 00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:03,186 I need to get ready for work. 61 00:03:03,236 --> 00:03:04,696 Well, I need to talk to you. 62 00:03:08,575 --> 00:03:11,111 How could you not tell me that you're a prostitute? 63 00:03:11,161 --> 00:03:13,655 OK, PC term is 'sex worker'. 64 00:03:13,705 --> 00:03:16,491 And I'm just a cam girl. I-I don't do full service. 65 00:03:16,541 --> 00:03:18,618 Oh, my God. What if you gave me AIDS? 66 00:03:18,668 --> 00:03:21,830 You can't get AIDS from Skyping, you idiot! 67 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,581 [groaning in pain] 68 00:03:23,631 --> 00:03:25,008 -What the fuck are you doing? 69 00:03:25,058 --> 00:03:25,500 -Ah, fuck! 70 00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:27,502 God, that really hurt. 71 00:03:27,552 --> 00:03:29,629 It's just... 72 00:03:29,679 --> 00:03:31,869 -I can't believe you kept this a secret from me. 73 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:32,632 -I know. 74 00:03:32,682 --> 00:03:35,218 I am truly sorry that I was not honest with you 75 00:03:35,268 --> 00:03:36,352 from the beginning. 76 00:03:37,687 --> 00:03:39,647 It's fucked up, and I-I own that. 77 00:03:41,399 --> 00:03:42,650 I should've told you the truth. 78 00:03:43,985 --> 00:03:46,896 I just... didn't know how. 79 00:03:46,946 --> 00:03:48,398 Are you still leaving today, or what? 80 00:03:48,448 --> 00:03:50,150 Yes, tonight. 81 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,693 And I have a lot of preparations to make, 82 00:03:51,743 --> 00:03:53,361 so I'm feeling quite overwhelmed. 83 00:03:53,411 --> 00:03:55,071 Well, have you given any thought at all 84 00:03:55,121 --> 00:03:56,781 to what's gonna happen with us? 85 00:03:56,831 --> 00:03:57,874 I have. 86 00:03:59,542 --> 00:04:02,162 And unfortunately, there is no simple resolution 87 00:04:02,212 --> 00:04:05,081 that you will likely want to hear. 88 00:04:05,131 --> 00:04:07,083 What is that supposed to mean? 89 00:04:07,133 --> 00:04:08,918 What are you doing looking at my phone? 90 00:04:08,968 --> 00:04:10,420 I wasn't looking at your phone. 91 00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:12,046 You left it on the table. 92 00:04:12,096 --> 00:04:14,132 And you still haven't answered my question. 93 00:04:14,182 --> 00:04:16,342 Just tell me, whatever it is. 94 00:04:16,392 --> 00:04:19,102 I just want everything to be out in the open between us. 95 00:04:19,153 --> 00:04:21,993 You jerk off while these guys pay money to watch you? 96 00:04:22,065 --> 00:04:23,641 I mean, what do they make you do? 97 00:04:23,691 --> 00:04:25,643 They don't make me do anything. 98 00:04:25,693 --> 00:04:27,187 I'm not a victim, Jethro. 99 00:04:27,237 --> 00:04:28,688 I like camming. 100 00:04:28,738 --> 00:04:29,856 What do you mean you like it? 101 00:04:29,906 --> 00:04:31,483 It's degrading. 102 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:33,318 So, i-it's degrading for me to do it, 103 00:04:33,368 --> 00:04:34,819 but not for you to watch it? 104 00:04:34,869 --> 00:04:36,704 It's degrading for me to watch it, too. 105 00:04:37,789 --> 00:04:39,365 Now where are you going? 106 00:04:39,415 --> 00:04:41,159 I-I'm so tired of arguing with you. 107 00:04:41,209 --> 00:04:42,744 I don't have time for this. 108 00:04:42,794 --> 00:04:45,497 Ford, this imposed hiatus might actually be 109 00:04:45,547 --> 00:04:48,374 an opportunity masquerading as a problem. 110 00:04:48,424 --> 00:04:50,126 What are you talking about? 111 00:04:50,176 --> 00:04:52,712 It offers us a chance to evaluate and reassess 112 00:04:52,762 --> 00:04:53,838 our relationship 113 00:04:53,888 --> 00:04:55,757 with fresh objectivity. 114 00:04:55,807 --> 00:04:57,675 OK, maybe you need time to evaluate and reassess, 115 00:04:57,725 --> 00:04:58,810 but I don't. 116 00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:02,555 I have my freaking Starz meeting later, 117 00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:04,140 and I still need to get ready, 118 00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:05,850 and thanks to you, my fucking eyes are all puffy. 119 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,227 I look like a mutant. 120 00:05:07,277 --> 00:05:08,686 You're not even listening to me. 121 00:05:08,736 --> 00:05:10,154 [shouting] I am listening! 122 00:05:11,781 --> 00:05:12,782 OK. 123 00:05:15,201 --> 00:05:16,903 I accept your apology, 124 00:05:16,953 --> 00:05:19,739 and I appreciate you admitting that you were wrong. 125 00:05:19,789 --> 00:05:21,783 And I am working very hard to find the strength 126 00:05:21,833 --> 00:05:24,119 within myself to forgive you, which is not easy! 127 00:05:24,169 --> 00:05:26,061 But it's like my mom was saying when I was talking 128 00:05:26,111 --> 00:05:26,830 to her last night... 129 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,165 Wait, you...you talked to your mom about this? 130 00:05:29,215 --> 00:05:30,717 Yeah, I talk to my mom about everything. 131 00:05:33,303 --> 00:05:34,254 What? 132 00:05:34,304 --> 00:05:36,047 OK, I... 133 00:05:36,097 --> 00:05:37,932 literally cannot deal with this right now. 134 00:05:39,142 --> 00:05:40,802 I need you to leave. 135 00:05:40,852 --> 00:05:42,470 I keep telling you that 136 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,013 if this is going too fast, or if it's too much, 137 00:05:44,063 --> 00:05:45,598 then just say so. 138 00:05:45,648 --> 00:05:47,600 And I told you, it's not too fast. 139 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:48,977 Gabriel was someone that I was seeing 140 00:05:49,027 --> 00:05:51,062 like, very briefly. 141 00:05:51,112 --> 00:05:52,522 Before I even met you. 142 00:05:52,572 --> 00:05:54,107 So, what? He's just some... 143 00:05:54,157 --> 00:05:56,651 random hookup that won't leave you alone? 144 00:05:56,701 --> 00:05:59,320 No. No, it's... 145 00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:02,198 it's a...it's a little bit more complicated than that. 146 00:06:02,248 --> 00:06:04,701 What do you mean 'complicated'? 147 00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:06,953 I really need to prep for my meeting. 148 00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:09,372 I just need time alone. I just need to think. 149 00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:11,507 I'm not kidding, Jethro. I want you to go. 150 00:06:13,051 --> 00:06:14,836 Well, can we talk about this later? 151 00:06:14,886 --> 00:06:16,220 Yeah... or... 152 00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:18,848 No. I-I don't know. 153 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:22,435 Just let me think about it. 154 00:06:24,103 --> 00:06:27,432 I'm gonna be 100% honest with you 155 00:06:27,482 --> 00:06:30,652 because I re...I really, really want this to work with us. 156 00:06:32,362 --> 00:06:34,022 All right. 157 00:06:34,072 --> 00:06:36,441 I met Gabriel a couple weeks before I met you, 158 00:06:36,491 --> 00:06:38,526 and... I felt this 159 00:06:38,576 --> 00:06:40,820 strange, intense connection with him. 160 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,573 I thought it was gonna turn into something significant, 161 00:06:43,623 --> 00:06:44,616 but it didn't. 162 00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:46,784 Why? Why not? 163 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,703 With me and him, it was like chaos. 164 00:06:48,753 --> 00:06:50,663 Hot and cold melodrama, unlike us. 165 00:06:50,713 --> 00:06:52,248 With me and you, it's no bullshit. 166 00:06:52,298 --> 00:06:53,583 There's no mystery. It's just... 167 00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:55,668 -It's boring. -No! Fuck! 168 00:06:55,718 --> 00:06:57,045 It's real! 169 00:06:57,095 --> 00:06:58,471 You're real. We are real. 170 00:07:00,974 --> 00:07:03,426 Oh, my God, Isaac. 171 00:07:03,476 --> 00:07:05,511 Don't you get it, Sev? 172 00:07:05,561 --> 00:07:06,721 I love you. 173 00:07:06,771 --> 00:07:08,306 No ifs, ands, or buts. 174 00:07:08,356 --> 00:07:09,732 Without a single doubt in my mind. 175 00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:16,105 Do you not feel the same way about me? 176 00:07:16,155 --> 00:07:18,616 You never say, "I love you." You always just say, "Me too." 177 00:07:20,326 --> 00:07:22,320 Ford... 178 00:07:22,370 --> 00:07:25,164 I told you many times how deeply I care for you. 179 00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:27,291 Do you love me? 180 00:07:29,669 --> 00:07:30,753 Do you? 181 00:07:36,009 --> 00:07:37,418 Oh, my God. 182 00:07:37,468 --> 00:07:39,045 You don't fucking love me. 183 00:07:39,365 --> 00:07:40,691 No, I do love you. 184 00:07:40,955 --> 00:07:42,173 Don't be ridiculous. 185 00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:44,133 All this time I thought if I just tried as hard as I could 186 00:07:44,183 --> 00:07:45,226 to make you happy... 187 00:07:47,061 --> 00:07:48,763 you don't fucking love me. 188 00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:50,264 That explains everything. 189 00:07:50,314 --> 00:07:52,809 It all finally makes sense now. 190 00:07:52,859 --> 00:07:55,269 I think that maybe we should... 191 00:07:55,319 --> 00:07:56,529 We should take a break. 192 00:07:57,697 --> 00:07:59,399 What? No, just... 193 00:07:59,449 --> 00:08:01,734 Just slow... Just...just slow down for a second. 194 00:08:01,784 --> 00:08:04,195 Isaac, I-I-I love you. 195 00:08:04,245 --> 00:08:05,363 Don't say that to me. 196 00:08:05,413 --> 00:08:07,073 It's true. 197 00:08:07,123 --> 00:08:09,283 I told you. My ex wanted to be with other people. 198 00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:10,410 I don't want to be with other people. 199 00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:11,995 I wanna be with you. 200 00:08:12,045 --> 00:08:13,705 You say that, but I don't think 201 00:08:13,755 --> 00:08:14,881 that you even know what you want anymore. 202 00:08:16,132 --> 00:08:17,291 Please don't... 203 00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:18,342 Don't do this. 204 00:08:20,136 --> 00:08:22,296 Please. I'm f-fucking begging you. 205 00:08:22,346 --> 00:08:25,299 I really do have the deepest feelings for you, 206 00:08:25,349 --> 00:08:27,427 but it's evident that my presence in your life 207 00:08:27,477 --> 00:08:30,179 causes you tremendous grief and anguish. 208 00:08:30,229 --> 00:08:32,515 Yeah, sometimes. 209 00:08:32,565 --> 00:08:33,608 So... 210 00:08:35,318 --> 00:08:38,312 since you are clearly in no state to be... 211 00:08:38,362 --> 00:08:39,655 rational right now, 212 00:08:41,741 --> 00:08:44,902 it's up to me to be the strong one in this situation. 213 00:08:44,952 --> 00:08:46,654 It's probably. 214 00:08:46,704 --> 00:08:49,665 Therefore, although it pains me terribly, 215 00:08:51,208 --> 00:08:54,244 I've come to the conclusion that it's best... 216 00:08:54,545 --> 00:08:56,089 if we stop seeing each other. 217 00:08:57,381 --> 00:08:59,250 Wait... 218 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,635 are you breaking up with me? 219 00:09:04,639 --> 00:09:05,848 [knocking on door] 220 00:09:07,225 --> 00:09:08,551 Fuck! 221 00:09:08,601 --> 00:09:09,602 Jethro... 222 00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:13,773 Uly? 223 00:09:18,945 --> 00:09:21,689 Oh, no. Baby. 224 00:09:21,739 --> 00:09:22,774 [Ulysses sobbing] 225 00:09:22,824 --> 00:09:23,908 Oh, no. 226 00:09:39,799 --> 00:09:42,543 CARLY: Are you sure that you're gonna be OK? 227 00:09:42,593 --> 00:09:44,629 Don't worry about me. 228 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:46,422 Just go to your meeting and kill it. 229 00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:48,049 Oh, my God, dude. 230 00:09:48,099 --> 00:09:50,009 I am so nervous, like, my hands are shaking. 231 00:09:50,059 --> 00:09:51,511 Should I just reschedule the whole thing? 232 00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:53,137 Fuck, no. Are you kidding me? 233 00:09:53,187 --> 00:09:54,972 OK, um... 234 00:09:55,022 --> 00:09:56,432 Look, you can stay for as long as you want, OK? 235 00:09:56,482 --> 00:09:58,017 Watch TV, take a nap. 236 00:09:58,067 --> 00:09:59,936 I don't have much food in the fridge, but... 237 00:09:59,986 --> 00:10:01,521 Yeah, I'll be fine. 238 00:10:01,571 --> 00:10:03,648 I'm just gonna lie here, and... 239 00:10:03,698 --> 00:10:06,109 quietly expire. 240 00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:08,611 And the fact that you are even half-heartedly joking 241 00:10:08,661 --> 00:10:10,446 is an encouraging sign. 242 00:10:10,496 --> 00:10:12,073 Speaking of signs, 243 00:10:12,123 --> 00:10:13,783 how weird is it that we both broke up 244 00:10:13,833 --> 00:10:16,786 at literally the exact same moment? 245 00:10:16,836 --> 00:10:18,871 Mercury must be in retrograde or something. 246 00:10:18,921 --> 00:10:22,500 Yeah, I didn't really 'break up' with Jethro, 247 00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:24,385 we're just, I don't know, 248 00:10:24,802 --> 00:10:26,129 in limbo, I guess. 249 00:10:26,179 --> 00:10:27,346 [cell phone vibrating] 250 00:10:32,059 --> 00:10:33,219 [gloomily] Hello? 251 00:10:33,269 --> 00:10:34,353 [sobbing] Uly? 252 00:10:36,689 --> 00:10:37,732 Ford? 253 00:10:42,653 --> 00:10:43,821 Is this, uh... 254 00:10:45,489 --> 00:10:46,616 is this helping any? 255 00:10:49,493 --> 00:10:51,204 [sighs] Not really, bro. 256 00:10:54,248 --> 00:10:55,291 How about you? 257 00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:15,303 [car door slams] 258 00:11:15,353 --> 00:11:18,306 Are you not coming inside? 259 00:11:18,356 --> 00:11:20,858 Nah, gonna go for a drive, I think. 260 00:11:22,068 --> 00:11:23,069 You sure? 261 00:11:23,556 --> 00:11:25,299 Yeah... 262 00:11:25,642 --> 00:11:28,011 All right. Well, let me know if you need anything or whatever. 263 00:11:28,449 --> 00:11:31,402 OK... thanks. 264 00:11:31,452 --> 00:11:32,453 [cell phone pings] 265 00:11:34,914 --> 00:11:36,032 Is it...? 266 00:11:36,082 --> 00:11:37,617 Oof, it's Barnabus. 267 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:38,993 I, I texted him yesterday with some questions 268 00:11:39,043 --> 00:11:40,127 about the rewrite. 269 00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:42,955 Yeah. 270 00:11:43,005 --> 00:11:44,548 So, what'd he say? 271 00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:47,492 He's going to Bali for six months on 272 00:11:47,543 --> 00:11:49,328 a spiritual cleanse. 273 00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:50,881 He's putting "Meet Your Maker" on indefinite hold. 274 00:11:52,635 --> 00:11:53,677 Oh, dude. 275 00:11:54,141 --> 00:11:55,643 [suspenseful music playing] 276 00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:03,901 [keys clanging] 277 00:12:07,321 --> 00:12:09,907 ["Lonely World" by Moses Sumney playing] 278 00:12:12,076 --> 00:12:13,536 [music intensifying] 279 00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:32,046 [phone pings] 280 00:12:32,096 --> 00:12:34,932 ♪ Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely world ♪ 281 00:12:37,310 --> 00:12:39,428 ♪ Casts a shadow ♪ 282 00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:42,982 ♪ On the shallow love it hurls ♪ 283 00:12:45,026 --> 00:12:46,811 ♪ To the feet of swine ♪ 284 00:12:46,861 --> 00:12:51,023 ♪ It need not cast its pearls ♪ 285 00:12:51,073 --> 00:12:52,241 [phone vibrating] 286 00:12:53,659 --> 00:12:55,778 [phone continues vibrating] 287 00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:57,989 ♪ Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely world ♪ 288 00:12:58,039 --> 00:12:59,081 Fuck. 289 00:13:04,086 --> 00:13:05,496 [excitedly] Carly? 290 00:13:05,546 --> 00:13:07,081 Hi. 291 00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:08,499 Oh, my God! 292 00:13:08,549 --> 00:13:09,875 It's so nice to meet you. 293 00:13:09,925 --> 00:13:11,294 I am such a fan. 294 00:13:11,344 --> 00:13:12,753 Oh. 295 00:13:12,803 --> 00:13:14,755 Really? Well, uh, thank you. 296 00:13:14,805 --> 00:13:16,382 "Sluts" is amazing. 297 00:13:16,432 --> 00:13:18,259 I am full-on obsessed with it! 298 00:13:18,309 --> 00:13:19,677 Anyway, Andrew's ready for you. 299 00:13:19,727 --> 00:13:20,803 I'll take you back. 300 00:13:20,853 --> 00:13:22,263 [heels clicking] 301 00:13:22,313 --> 00:13:24,265 Not to geek out on you or anything, 302 00:13:24,315 --> 00:13:27,143 but I have been looking forward to you coming in all week. 303 00:13:27,193 --> 00:13:28,853 Andrew, the exec you're meeting with, 304 00:13:28,903 --> 00:13:30,313 is super savvy and smart. 305 00:13:30,363 --> 00:13:31,564 He really gets it. 306 00:13:31,614 --> 00:13:33,190 That's great. 307 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,359 You know that scene in episode one, 308 00:13:35,409 --> 00:13:37,278 where your boyfriend gets all emo about about your vibrator? 309 00:13:37,328 --> 00:13:38,821 The other day, I actually caught 310 00:13:38,871 --> 00:13:40,323 my boyfriend unplugging my bullet 311 00:13:40,373 --> 00:13:41,324 while he thought I was asleep. 312 00:13:41,374 --> 00:13:43,034 For real! 313 00:13:43,084 --> 00:13:44,577 Sabotaging your girlfriend's vibrator battery 314 00:13:44,627 --> 00:13:46,203 is the modern-day chastity belt. 315 00:13:46,253 --> 00:13:47,663 You're so fucking funny. I love you. 316 00:13:47,713 --> 00:13:49,040 Oh, thanks. 317 00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:50,875 So, just FYI, 318 00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:52,501 Andrew actually hasn't had time to watch your show yet. 319 00:13:52,551 --> 00:13:53,919 Wait... what? 320 00:13:53,969 --> 00:13:55,713 But don't worry. 321 00:13:55,763 --> 00:13:57,214 Me and all the other assistants 322 00:13:57,264 --> 00:13:58,883 love you so fucking much, we told him, 323 00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:00,343 "Are you kidding me?" 324 00:14:00,393 --> 00:14:01,635 "You have to meet with her." 325 00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:02,970 [nervous giggle] 326 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:04,722 Here we are. 327 00:14:04,772 --> 00:14:07,441 Now go in there, and knock it out of the park. 328 00:14:08,651 --> 00:14:10,069 [heels clicking away] 329 00:14:11,904 --> 00:14:12,988 [whispering] Oh, my God. 330 00:14:14,281 --> 00:14:15,324 OK... 331 00:14:30,881 --> 00:14:33,125 Hey... 332 00:14:33,175 --> 00:14:35,553 [Airiel's "You Against the Rest of Us" playing] 333 00:14:40,182 --> 00:14:41,225 Excuse me? 334 00:14:42,601 --> 00:14:43,644 Thank you. 335 00:14:44,979 --> 00:14:46,856 [phone ringing] 336 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:50,818 Hello? WOMAN: Ford? 337 00:14:53,446 --> 00:14:55,064 Hi, Mom. 338 00:14:55,114 --> 00:14:57,233 How are you doing, sweetheart? 339 00:14:57,283 --> 00:14:58,859 Not so good. 340 00:14:58,909 --> 00:14:59,952 Oh no, what's the matter, baby? 341 00:15:01,036 --> 00:15:02,580 Severine. She... 342 00:15:04,457 --> 00:15:05,499 She... 343 00:15:07,918 --> 00:15:08,961 We- we broke up today. 344 00:15:10,337 --> 00:15:12,957 Oh, honey. I'm so sorry to hear that. 345 00:15:13,007 --> 00:15:14,091 Thank you, Mom. 346 00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:18,462 So, how are...how are you and Dad doing? 347 00:15:18,512 --> 00:15:20,172 Well sweetheart, 348 00:15:20,222 --> 00:15:21,682 that's actually why I'm calling. 349 00:15:24,059 --> 00:15:25,678 ULYSSES: That is so whack. 350 00:15:25,728 --> 00:15:28,722 Even by our world's dubious standards. 351 00:15:28,772 --> 00:15:30,224 ULYSSES: Did he ask you to pee on him? 352 00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:32,977 Not fucking funny. 353 00:15:33,027 --> 00:15:34,645 ULYSSES: Sorry. 354 00:15:34,695 --> 00:15:37,148 I was really counting on Starz to save my ass 355 00:15:37,198 --> 00:15:40,526 from a future of endless camming sessions. 356 00:15:40,576 --> 00:15:42,862 I know. That fucking blows. 357 00:15:42,912 --> 00:15:44,071 CARLY: Anyway... 358 00:15:44,121 --> 00:15:45,239 How you doin'? 359 00:15:45,289 --> 00:15:46,866 Horrible. 360 00:15:46,916 --> 00:15:48,742 But at least I'm so stoned that I... 361 00:15:48,792 --> 00:15:51,495 can't feel anything besides a violent urge 362 00:15:51,545 --> 00:15:54,123 to ransack a 7-Eleven for some Funyuns. 363 00:15:54,173 --> 00:15:55,791 CARLY: Well, traffic's so bad 364 00:15:55,841 --> 00:15:58,169 I won't be home for, like, 100 hours, 365 00:15:58,219 --> 00:16:00,379 so, uh, if you wanna stop by later, though, 366 00:16:00,429 --> 00:16:02,590 we can give ourselves mani-pedis 367 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,302 and watch the death episode of 13 Reasons Why again. 368 00:16:06,352 --> 00:16:07,803 It's a date. 369 00:16:07,853 --> 00:16:09,597 FORD: Hello? Sev? 370 00:16:09,647 --> 00:16:11,474 I don't know why you haven't returned 371 00:16:11,524 --> 00:16:13,934 any of my calls because I really, really need 372 00:16:13,984 --> 00:16:15,603 to talk to you before you leave. 373 00:16:15,653 --> 00:16:17,480 I just got off the phone with my mom, 374 00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:20,941 and she gave me, like, the worst news ever. 375 00:16:20,991 --> 00:16:23,827 So just...just please call me back when you get this, OK? 376 00:16:25,412 --> 00:16:26,455 Please. 377 00:16:27,957 --> 00:16:29,375 OK, goodbye. 378 00:16:37,716 --> 00:16:38,759 WOMAN: Ford? 379 00:16:40,636 --> 00:16:41,679 Cleopatra? 380 00:16:43,013 --> 00:16:44,590 What are you doin' here? 381 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,467 What are you doing here? 382 00:16:46,517 --> 00:16:47,927 This is my neighborhood bar. 383 00:16:47,977 --> 00:16:49,265 -I'm meeting some friends here later. 384 00:16:49,315 --> 00:16:49,728 -Oh. 385 00:16:52,064 --> 00:16:53,649 I've just...I've had... 386 00:16:55,526 --> 00:16:57,394 I've had, like, a really bad day. 387 00:16:57,444 --> 00:16:59,688 Oh, no, Ford. I'm so sorry. 388 00:16:59,738 --> 00:17:01,190 Oh, it's OK. 389 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,658 I'm gonna be all right. 390 00:17:07,997 --> 00:17:09,206 [sobbing] 391 00:17:28,058 --> 00:17:29,101 [sighs] 392 00:17:33,897 --> 00:17:35,182 FORD: So, then, 393 00:17:35,232 --> 00:17:37,268 on top of everything else, my mom calls and tells me 394 00:17:37,318 --> 00:17:39,144 she and my dad just found out 395 00:17:39,194 --> 00:17:41,564 that their financial planner is involved in some kind of 396 00:17:41,614 --> 00:17:43,899 Bernie Sanders Fonzie scheme. 397 00:17:43,949 --> 00:17:46,527 You mean Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme? 398 00:17:46,577 --> 00:17:47,899 Yeah. 399 00:17:47,950 --> 00:17:49,860 So, anyway, they lost all of their money, 400 00:17:49,911 --> 00:17:51,279 and now they can't help me pay the rent 401 00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:52,740 or give me my allowance. 402 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:54,994 So, as of this moment, 403 00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:58,539 I am totally screwed over in the money department, too. 404 00:17:58,589 --> 00:18:00,541 It's like my whole life... 405 00:18:00,591 --> 00:18:02,543 is going down the toilet. 406 00:18:02,593 --> 00:18:04,753 [makes a popping sound] 407 00:18:04,803 --> 00:18:07,214 I don't mean to bum you out with all my problems. 408 00:18:07,264 --> 00:18:08,349 Are you kidding me? 409 00:18:09,558 --> 00:18:10,643 I'm here to listen. 410 00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:33,532 [moaning] 411 00:18:33,582 --> 00:18:35,542 [moaning and panting] 412 00:18:40,381 --> 00:18:42,124 Is that the gear shift? 413 00:18:42,174 --> 00:18:43,384 No, it's an automatic. 414 00:18:46,881 --> 00:18:48,499 [unzips his pants] 415 00:18:49,473 --> 00:18:51,550 Oh, fuck. 416 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,260 It's even better in real life. 417 00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:54,937 Oh, thank you. 418 00:18:56,438 --> 00:18:57,481 Oh! 419 00:18:58,399 --> 00:18:59,516 Oh, shit! 420 00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:01,685 [moaning continues] 421 00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:03,103 Oh, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Stop. 422 00:19:03,153 --> 00:19:04,772 -Wait, wait, wait, wait. -What's wrong? 423 00:19:04,822 --> 00:19:06,315 I don't...I can't, I can't. I can't. 424 00:19:06,365 --> 00:19:07,983 Oh, it feels so good, 425 00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:10,277 but it's just...it's too soon. 426 00:19:10,327 --> 00:19:13,072 Are you sure? It might help you feel better. 427 00:19:13,122 --> 00:19:15,115 Aw, you think? 428 00:19:15,165 --> 00:19:16,784 Uh-huh. 429 00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:18,369 Just close your eyes 430 00:19:18,419 --> 00:19:20,454 and relax. 431 00:19:20,504 --> 00:19:22,247 Mm, I don't know. 432 00:19:22,297 --> 00:19:24,541 Don't worry, baby. You're gonna love it. 433 00:19:24,591 --> 00:19:25,634 I promise. 434 00:19:28,053 --> 00:19:29,171 Oh, f... 435 00:19:29,221 --> 00:19:30,839 [Cleopatra slurping] 436 00:19:30,889 --> 00:19:32,891 [moaning and panting] 437 00:19:33,308 --> 00:19:35,052 Oh, Cleopatra. 438 00:19:35,102 --> 00:19:37,221 [moaning and panting continues] 439 00:19:37,271 --> 00:19:38,263 Ah, no! 440 00:19:38,313 --> 00:19:39,306 No, no, no, no! 441 00:19:39,356 --> 00:19:41,016 I'm sorry! 442 00:19:41,066 --> 00:19:42,851 And I really like you, and you're really pretty, 443 00:19:42,901 --> 00:19:44,353 and my dick really, really, really wants to, 444 00:19:44,403 --> 00:19:45,487 -but I can't! -Aah! 445 00:19:59,126 --> 00:20:01,003 [panting] 446 00:20:05,257 --> 00:20:06,759 [panting continues] 447 00:20:45,589 --> 00:20:47,382 [sobbing] 448 00:21:17,663 --> 00:21:18,664 ULYSSES: Hello? 449 00:21:22,689 --> 00:21:24,349 I-I don't mean you any harm. 450 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,380 I'm...I'm not a robber or anything. 451 00:21:28,549 --> 00:21:29,675 I just wanna talk. 452 00:21:36,085 --> 00:21:37,836 [music intensifies] 453 00:21:43,257 --> 00:21:44,299 Aah! 454 00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:47,702 Please, please, please! 455 00:21:47,753 --> 00:21:49,330 Please don't hurt me! Please! 456 00:21:49,570 --> 00:21:50,521 Please! 457 00:21:50,571 --> 00:21:51,613 Jesus! 458 00:21:55,742 --> 00:21:56,827 What do you want? 459 00:21:58,579 --> 00:22:00,489 I have some questions. 460 00:22:00,539 --> 00:22:02,332 And...and I just want some answers. 461 00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:05,460 [eerie music intensifying] 462 00:22:21,351 --> 00:22:22,344 [car skidding] 463 00:22:22,394 --> 00:22:23,770 [car crashing] 464 00:22:29,484 --> 00:22:32,070 [indistinct chatter from outside] 465 00:22:42,289 --> 00:22:43,707 [cell phone ringing] 466 00:22:47,955 --> 00:22:50,332 [cell phone continues ringing] 467 00:22:59,431 --> 00:23:00,474 [locks phone] 468 00:23:02,392 --> 00:23:03,435 HOMELESS MAN: It's over. 469 00:23:06,355 --> 00:23:07,397 ULYSSES: What do you mean? 470 00:23:10,025 --> 00:23:11,526 I can't go on like this. 471 00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:15,864 I was like you. 472 00:23:16,711 --> 00:23:18,120 I had a life. 473 00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:19,610 A girlfriend. 474 00:23:19,660 --> 00:23:21,695 An apartment. 475 00:23:21,745 --> 00:23:22,746 Did a few commercials. 476 00:23:25,499 --> 00:23:26,833 Then, one night, they came. 477 00:23:29,962 --> 00:23:31,254 Was having a rough patch. 478 00:23:32,589 --> 00:23:34,082 I got evicted. 479 00:23:34,132 --> 00:23:36,627 My girlfriend broke up with me. 480 00:23:36,677 --> 00:23:38,720 So, I was hammered walking out of this bar. 481 00:23:42,849 --> 00:23:44,559 That was the first time they got me. 482 00:23:46,812 --> 00:23:47,813 Who? 483 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:51,650 The Aliens. 484 00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:58,404 And ever since then, they keep coming back. 485 00:23:58,824 --> 00:24:00,609 They keep... 486 00:24:00,659 --> 00:24:02,069 fucking me 487 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:03,862 over and over. 488 00:24:03,912 --> 00:24:05,864 And they won't stop. 489 00:24:05,914 --> 00:24:06,865 I beg them. 490 00:24:06,915 --> 00:24:08,116 I say... 491 00:24:08,166 --> 00:24:09,960 "Please, no more." 492 00:24:10,961 --> 00:24:12,045 "No more." 493 00:24:14,464 --> 00:24:16,425 But they just keep fucking me. 494 00:24:23,223 --> 00:24:24,766 But that's not even the worst part. 495 00:24:26,184 --> 00:24:27,853 About six months later... 496 00:24:30,355 --> 00:24:31,690 the babies come out. 497 00:24:32,733 --> 00:24:33,817 [sobbing] 498 00:24:36,692 --> 00:24:38,269 I can't do it anymore. 499 00:24:38,558 --> 00:24:40,301 I just can't. 500 00:24:40,352 --> 00:24:41,437 [electrical buzzing] 501 00:24:56,298 --> 00:24:57,340 Here. 502 00:24:58,717 --> 00:25:00,210 Wha...what? 503 00:25:00,260 --> 00:25:01,461 Kill me. 504 00:25:01,511 --> 00:25:02,796 [buzzing and crackling] 505 00:25:02,846 --> 00:25:03,847 What? 506 00:25:04,445 --> 00:25:05,446 Kill me. 507 00:25:05,762 --> 00:25:07,297 I can't go on living like this. 508 00:25:07,726 --> 00:25:09,344 No, no, I mean, no! 509 00:25:09,394 --> 00:25:10,637 What are you talking about? 510 00:25:10,687 --> 00:25:11,722 Please! 511 00:25:11,772 --> 00:25:13,306 Kill me! 512 00:25:13,356 --> 00:25:14,941 Anything is better than this. 513 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:17,602 I'm begging you. 514 00:25:17,652 --> 00:25:19,646 No. Oh, my God! No! 515 00:25:19,696 --> 00:25:20,864 What...Just do it! 516 00:25:21,865 --> 00:25:22,816 Please! 517 00:25:22,866 --> 00:25:23,984 Kill me! 518 00:25:24,034 --> 00:25:25,360 [music intensifies] 519 00:25:25,410 --> 00:25:26,528 Please! 520 00:25:26,578 --> 00:25:27,621 [muffled struggling] 521 00:25:28,622 --> 00:25:29,865 Please do it. 522 00:25:29,915 --> 00:25:31,658 -Please! -Please! 523 00:25:31,708 --> 00:25:33,168 No! Stop, are you crazy? Get off me! 524 00:25:34,618 --> 00:25:37,621 [screaming] 525 00:25:39,613 --> 00:25:40,940 [sizzling] 526 00:25:41,051 --> 00:25:42,177 [shooting fireworks] 527 00:25:44,142 --> 00:25:46,303 [panting] 528 00:25:46,515 --> 00:25:48,475 [plane taking off] 529 00:25:54,564 --> 00:25:56,266 LARS: Is everything all right? 530 00:25:56,316 --> 00:25:58,143 Yes. 531 00:25:58,193 --> 00:25:59,895 Can you inform the pilot we're ready to take off? 532 00:25:59,945 --> 00:26:01,113 We've got important work to do. 533 00:26:07,577 --> 00:26:08,995 [plane engine running] 534 00:26:13,041 --> 00:26:14,042 FORD: No. 535 00:26:15,085 --> 00:26:16,086 Don't... 536 00:26:17,129 --> 00:26:19,331 Sev, don't... 537 00:26:19,381 --> 00:26:20,590 No, Sev, don't go. 538 00:26:24,261 --> 00:26:25,387 FORD: No, Sev, don't. 539 00:26:26,471 --> 00:26:27,672 No. 540 00:26:27,722 --> 00:26:28,723 [sobs] 541 00:26:40,986 --> 00:26:42,654 Oh, my God, Sev. 542 00:26:44,489 --> 00:26:45,774 No, no... 543 00:26:45,824 --> 00:26:46,867 [ominous decrescendo] 544 00:26:50,453 --> 00:26:51,780 Aah! 545 00:26:51,830 --> 00:26:54,291 Aah! 546 00:26:55,542 --> 00:26:56,751 Holy sh... 547 00:26:57,570 --> 00:26:58,780 No, no... 548 00:27:08,638 --> 00:27:11,433 [upbeat instrumental playing] 549 00:27:18,398 --> 00:27:20,892 [grunts] 550 00:27:20,942 --> 00:27:23,728 CARLY: Um, are you still coming over later, or what? 551 00:27:23,778 --> 00:27:24,905 Just let me know. 552 00:27:28,033 --> 00:27:29,576 [banging on the door] 553 00:27:30,827 --> 00:27:33,288 [banging increases] 554 00:27:36,666 --> 00:27:37,667 Fuck. 555 00:27:38,877 --> 00:27:40,086 [banging continues] 556 00:27:44,049 --> 00:27:46,209 What do you want? 557 00:27:46,259 --> 00:27:47,302 I really need to talk to you. 558 00:27:49,262 --> 00:27:51,381 -Are you gonna let me in? -You're drunk. 559 00:27:51,431 --> 00:27:53,925 There's no point in us having a conversation right now. 560 00:27:53,975 --> 00:27:55,510 [whining] Carly. 561 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,721 I'm serious. Just go home, Jethro. 562 00:27:57,771 --> 00:28:00,307 We can talk like two adults tomorrow when you're sober. 563 00:28:00,357 --> 00:28:02,517 Fight, fight, fight. 564 00:28:02,567 --> 00:28:04,769 All we ever do is fight. 565 00:28:04,819 --> 00:28:05,854 You know what we need? 566 00:28:05,904 --> 00:28:07,522 We need to cleanse 567 00:28:07,572 --> 00:28:09,316 this relationship of negative energy. 568 00:28:09,366 --> 00:28:10,483 Do you have any sage? 569 00:28:10,533 --> 00:28:11,576 Seriously, Jethro! 570 00:28:12,535 --> 00:28:13,620 Go home. 571 00:28:20,627 --> 00:28:22,787 OK, you know what? I... 572 00:28:22,837 --> 00:28:24,748 I really didn't want to do it like this, 573 00:28:24,798 --> 00:28:26,258 but you leave me no choice. 574 00:28:27,217 --> 00:28:28,385 Do what? 575 00:28:29,803 --> 00:28:31,213 I'm done. 576 00:28:31,263 --> 00:28:32,347 Jethro. 577 00:28:34,266 --> 00:28:35,433 This relationship... 578 00:28:37,143 --> 00:28:40,096 it's not good for me, or for you... 579 00:28:40,146 --> 00:28:41,806 at this point. 580 00:28:41,856 --> 00:28:42,899 Wait... 581 00:28:44,609 --> 00:28:46,236 You're breaking up with me? 582 00:28:49,281 --> 00:28:50,323 Yes. 583 00:29:30,488 --> 00:29:31,531 MAN: Ulysses. 584 00:29:44,878 --> 00:29:46,329 JETHRO: Well, Mommy... 585 00:29:46,379 --> 00:29:48,715 Thanks for the lame-o advice. 586 00:29:49,591 --> 00:29:50,583 Mm? 587 00:29:50,633 --> 00:29:52,469 Carly dumped me. 588 00:29:53,428 --> 00:29:54,504 Mm-hmm. 589 00:29:54,554 --> 00:29:55,922 Yeah, I know, right? 590 00:29:55,972 --> 00:29:57,515 Yeah, she's out of her fucking mind. 591 00:29:58,641 --> 00:29:59,726 Ah, I love her. 592 00:30:00,602 --> 00:30:01,720 I love her. 593 00:30:01,770 --> 00:30:03,221 She's my everything. 594 00:30:03,271 --> 00:30:05,307 I gotta go. I gotta go do some, like... 595 00:30:05,357 --> 00:30:07,192 some, like, breathing exercises. 596 00:30:08,485 --> 00:30:09,944 I feel like I'm about to throw up. 597 00:30:11,613 --> 00:30:12,856 I love you, Mommy. 598 00:30:12,906 --> 00:30:14,441 Mm-hmm. Kisses. OK. 599 00:30:14,491 --> 00:30:15,575 Mwah, OK. 600 00:30:17,285 --> 00:30:18,403 OK, I will see you. 601 00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:19,496 Bye. 602 00:30:22,457 --> 00:30:23,708 [cell phone beeps] 603 00:30:25,085 --> 00:30:26,419 [sighs] 604 00:30:30,799 --> 00:30:31,841 [drops keys] 605 00:30:33,385 --> 00:30:34,636 Fuck. 606 00:30:41,226 --> 00:30:43,937 ["The Beginning of the End" by Nine Inch Nails playing] 607 00:30:53,797 --> 00:30:56,800 W-W-W-W-What the f-f-f? 608 00:31:04,296 --> 00:31:06,812 What the fuck? 609 00:31:09,087 --> 00:31:11,664 ♪ You wait your turn, you'll be last in line... ♪ 610 00:31:11,714 --> 00:31:13,583 No, no! 611 00:31:13,633 --> 00:31:14,667 No! 612 00:31:14,717 --> 00:31:15,718 No! 613 00:31:16,636 --> 00:31:19,964 Aah! 614 00:31:20,014 --> 00:31:22,967 ♪ This is the beginning ♪ 615 00:31:23,017 --> 00:31:26,638 ♪ God helps the ones that can help themselves ♪ 616 00:31:26,688 --> 00:31:29,891 ♪ This is the beginning ♪ 617 00:31:29,941 --> 00:31:33,520 ♪ May be too late as far as I can tell ♪ 618 00:31:33,570 --> 00:31:35,488 ♪ This is the beginning ♪ 619 00:31:37,574 --> 00:31:39,492 ♪ We think we've come so far ♪ 620 00:31:41,077 --> 00:31:43,496 ♪ On all our lives we depend ♪ 621 00:31:51,033 --> 00:31:54,498 ♪ Facing our consequence ♪ 622 00:31:54,549 --> 00:31:57,677 ♪ This is the beginning of the end ♪ 40685

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