Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:16,274 --> 00:00:18,735
CARLY:
Previously on Now Apocalypse.
2
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:22,332
[Sev moaning]
Aah!
3
00:00:22,739 --> 00:00:24,983
ULYSSES: From the moment me
and Gabriel met, there was this
4
00:00:25,033 --> 00:00:28,011
supernatural connection
between us, and then he
5
00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:29,037
disappears.
6
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:32,642
If we wanna be with another
person, we can do it together.
7
00:00:32,805 --> 00:00:34,741
It's my cam client,
we were sexting earlier.
8
00:00:34,792 --> 00:00:36,411
-ULYSSES: Is this the pee guy?
-CARLY: Yeah, Worm.
9
00:00:36,461 --> 00:00:37,829
He watched me
pee in the bathtub.
10
00:00:37,879 --> 00:00:39,372
-What are you looking at?
-Pics from that photo shoot
11
00:00:39,422 --> 00:00:40,623
I did with that
director guy, Otto.
12
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,584
ULYSSES:
These pics are insane!
13
00:00:42,634 --> 00:00:44,803
-They're borderline porn!
-Fuck you, Uly!
14
00:00:47,096 --> 00:00:50,884
CARLY: We must be spiraling
towards fucking doomsday.
15
00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:53,178
You are in such a good mood,
it's scaring me.
16
00:00:53,228 --> 00:00:55,513
I know. Shit is finally
going my way for a change.
17
00:00:55,563 --> 00:00:57,557
Like, this morning,
I woke up,
18
00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:59,893
and, right out of the gate,
I hear a knocking at my door.
19
00:00:59,943 --> 00:01:02,061
-[knocking]
-FORD: Hey, Uly?
20
00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:06,074
-Are you up?
-Yeah, uh huh, just hold on.
21
00:01:11,934 --> 00:01:13,603
I made you breakfast.
22
00:01:15,002 --> 00:01:16,920
Oh! Uh...
23
00:01:18,753 --> 00:01:20,129
Thanks.
24
00:01:23,466 --> 00:01:26,336
Dude. I'm so sorry.
25
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,463
I didn't mean any of those
things that I said to you.
26
00:01:28,513 --> 00:01:31,007
I'm sorry, OK? I was acting
like such an ass.
27
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:33,426
You're my best friend
in the whole world, bro.
28
00:01:33,476 --> 00:01:35,261
And us not talking
for the past three days,
29
00:01:35,311 --> 00:01:36,977
has been the most
horrible thing that has
30
00:01:37,027 --> 00:01:37,847
ever happened to me.
31
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:40,225
-Me, too.
-I love you, Uly!
32
00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:41,809
I love you, too.
33
00:01:41,859 --> 00:01:44,103
-And then you fucked?
-Yeah. No.
34
00:01:44,153 --> 00:01:45,684
[chuckles] See,
I told you you two
35
00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:46,731
would kiss and make up.
36
00:01:46,781 --> 00:01:48,355
-[phone beeps]
-I'm just glad that
37
00:01:48,405 --> 00:01:49,659
everything's back to normal.
38
00:01:52,036 --> 00:01:54,197
-Oh my God, now what is it?
-Huh? Oh, it's Isaac.
39
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:55,319
Oh, is that the new guy?
40
00:01:55,369 --> 00:01:57,492
Yeah, and he's
confirming our first IRL date.
41
00:01:57,542 --> 00:01:59,244
-This Friday.
-Mmm!
42
00:01:59,294 --> 00:02:01,704
Nice! So, uh...
43
00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:03,798
how you gonna
fuck it up this time?
44
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,628
[pop music playing]
45
00:02:08,678 --> 00:02:11,839
OK, we're here.
46
00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:15,093
Where exactly is "here"?
47
00:02:15,143 --> 00:02:17,595
I know I've been very
distracted with work lately.
48
00:02:17,645 --> 00:02:21,057
So, I wanted to do something
special to make it up to you.
49
00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:23,651
Now, put this on.
50
00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:26,561
Ahh.
51
00:02:26,904 --> 00:02:29,115
[pop music playing]
52
00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:39,603
FORD: Ohh!
53
00:02:42,222 --> 00:02:43,798
Is this what I think it is?
54
00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:46,385
I honestly don't know.
55
00:02:46,441 --> 00:02:48,518
I'm not a moron, Sev.
56
00:02:48,676 --> 00:02:52,839
I know an Illuminati
sex party when I see one.
57
00:02:52,889 --> 00:02:56,426
CARLY:
So, check, he's gorgeous.
58
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,177
Tell me again
how you guys met.
59
00:02:58,340 --> 00:02:59,554
It's so...
60
00:02:59,604 --> 00:03:02,599
fairy tale, slash,
vintage gay porn.
61
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,692
Well...
62
00:03:03,743 --> 00:03:06,196
It was a dark and smoggy night,
and I was at work,
63
00:03:06,579 --> 00:03:08,322
chasing that homeless guy.
64
00:03:08,373 --> 00:03:11,076
And I had to climb this fence,
and I was kinda stoned.
65
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:15,194
And so, I fall. And when I
come to, I'm on the ground.
66
00:03:15,244 --> 00:03:17,280
Totally out of it,
and I don't know where I am,
67
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,698
or what's going on.
68
00:03:18,748 --> 00:03:21,167
And then I open my eyes,
and I see...
69
00:03:23,795 --> 00:03:25,463
ISAAC: Hey.
70
00:03:29,801 --> 00:03:31,052
Are you OK?
71
00:03:32,762 --> 00:03:34,722
Yeah. Uh...
72
00:03:36,599 --> 00:03:39,594
I'm fine.
73
00:03:39,644 --> 00:03:42,388
-And then you fucked?
-Ha.
74
00:03:42,438 --> 00:03:44,515
[laughing] So, uh,
what's this guy do again?
75
00:03:44,780 --> 00:03:46,309
-For a living, you mean?
-Mmm.
76
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:48,478
Homeless outreach. That's why
he was in the auto yard.
77
00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,980
Aw, so he's, like,
a humanitarian.
78
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:54,347
Yeah. On top of being, like,
super sweet, and adorable,
79
00:03:54,397 --> 00:03:55,610
and, unlike Gabriel,
80
00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:57,384
-he doesn't disappear
every five seconds.
81
00:03:57,434 --> 00:03:58,196
-Oh, God. Gabriel.
82
00:03:58,246 --> 00:03:59,822
Have you heard from the
83
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:02,617
David Copperfield of Grindr
since his last vanishing act?
84
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:03,618
No.
85
00:04:03,668 --> 00:04:06,037
Oh. Oh my God.
86
00:04:06,087 --> 00:04:08,373
-What?
-Remember my, uh,
87
00:04:08,423 --> 00:04:10,333
my cam client, Worm?
88
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,793
Mmm-hmm.
89
00:04:11,843 --> 00:04:13,169
He wants me to
pee in a bottle
90
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,545
for him so he can drink it.
91
00:04:14,595 --> 00:04:16,431
[choking sounds]
92
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:21,761
BARTENDER: All right,
so this is our specialty,
93
00:04:21,811 --> 00:04:23,388
aphrodisiac cocktail.
94
00:04:23,438 --> 00:04:26,265
It's vodka, with fresh ginger
and cinnamon, plus...
95
00:04:26,315 --> 00:04:27,517
a special secret ingredient.
96
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,861
It's not jizz, is it?
97
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:33,356
-No.
-Ah, word.
98
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:34,490
Thanks, Jacques.
99
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,486
Oh! Ahh...
100
00:04:38,536 --> 00:04:41,489
Wow!
This place is lit!
101
00:04:41,539 --> 00:04:44,083
Check out that dude's arms!
102
00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:47,120
I didn't know
that was your type.
103
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:50,373
What do you mean?
Dude is swole, man.
104
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:53,543
I wonder what his
workout routine is.
105
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:56,129
WOMAN: Can I interest you
in some weed lube?
106
00:04:56,179 --> 00:04:58,589
No, thank you.
I don't do weed.
107
00:04:58,639 --> 00:05:01,634
Oh, it won't make you stoned,
it just gets your vagina high.
108
00:05:01,684 --> 00:05:04,011
My vagina doesn't
want to get high.
109
00:05:04,061 --> 00:05:05,680
Why not?
110
00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:06,889
WOMAN: I'll take some.
111
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:10,226
OK, cool. give me your feet.
Come here.
112
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,937
[chuckles]
113
00:05:12,987 --> 00:05:15,648
WOMAN: Do me now.
114
00:05:15,698 --> 00:05:18,526
There's a couple people
I need to say hi to, so...
115
00:05:18,576 --> 00:05:20,903
Why don't you try and
make some new friends?
116
00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,488
Don't worry,
I won't be long.
117
00:05:22,538 --> 00:05:24,532
Uh, all right.
118
00:05:24,582 --> 00:05:29,495
Um, we're still just hooking up
together as a couple, right?
119
00:05:29,545 --> 00:05:31,581
Of course, but...
120
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,916
don't be afraid to get
your hands a little dirty.
121
00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:36,836
Just remember to ask permission
before touching anyone.
122
00:05:36,886 --> 00:05:38,129
It's party rules.
123
00:05:38,179 --> 00:05:41,424
Affirmative consent,
and all that nonsense.
124
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,309
Affirmative consent?
125
00:05:44,727 --> 00:05:46,846
It's this thing
American people do.
126
00:05:46,896 --> 00:05:48,931
'Cause they aren't
sophisticated enough
127
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,400
to communicate
through body language.
128
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:53,644
You, however,
129
00:05:53,694 --> 00:05:56,189
shouldn't have
that problem.
130
00:05:56,239 --> 00:05:57,815
Look at you.
131
00:05:57,865 --> 00:06:00,243
Everyone wants to fuck you.
132
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:09,001
-I'll be back shortly.
-OK.
133
00:06:11,712 --> 00:06:12,705
[sighs]
134
00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:14,040
ULYSSES: So, Worm...
135
00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:16,417
is coming here to meet us
for pee cocktail hour?
136
00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:18,002
No! Are you insane?
137
00:06:18,052 --> 00:06:19,420
I'm supposed to leave it
in a bottle outside,
138
00:06:19,470 --> 00:06:21,756
-he's gonna pick it up.
-Oh, well, obviously.
139
00:06:21,806 --> 00:06:23,925
How much, how much money
should I ask for?
140
00:06:23,975 --> 00:06:25,635
I dunno,
is there some way
141
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,845
to assess supply and demand
on the urine black market?
142
00:06:27,895 --> 00:06:30,617
Uh, some whores on
Reddit are saying they charge
143
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:31,557
$200 a bottle.
144
00:06:31,607 --> 00:06:33,976
-That sounds about right.
-Yeah, OK, so,
145
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:38,439
I'll start with $200,
but I'm open to negotiation.
146
00:06:38,489 --> 00:06:42,443
I mean, I kinda have
to pee anyway, so...
147
00:06:42,493 --> 00:06:46,155
[girl moaning]
148
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:48,124
[moaning intensifies]
149
00:06:54,005 --> 00:06:55,798
[applause]
150
00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:01,337
So, do you
come here often?
151
00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,589
This is my first time,
actually.
152
00:07:03,639 --> 00:07:06,676
-How about you?
-Oh, I'm a regular.
153
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:11,013
This is definitely one of the best
sex parties in the city.
154
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:13,099
So, um,
are you here alone?
155
00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:15,226
I'm with my sub.
156
00:07:15,276 --> 00:07:16,527
Bitch!
157
00:07:20,615 --> 00:07:24,443
This is Bitch. You want
him to suck you off?
158
00:07:24,493 --> 00:07:27,446
Oh, uh, I'm good.
159
00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:30,157
Thank you for asking.
160
00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:32,493
Should I have asked for less?
How long has it been?
161
00:07:32,543 --> 00:07:34,211
Like 90 seconds.
162
00:07:35,504 --> 00:07:36,622
Actually, you know what?
163
00:07:36,672 --> 00:07:38,666
My bodily fluids go
for top dollar,
164
00:07:38,716 --> 00:07:39,876
or they go for nothing.
165
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,294
You're such a modern
businesswoman.
166
00:07:41,344 --> 00:07:42,345
Hmm.
167
00:07:42,887 --> 00:07:43,971
To leaning in.
168
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:48,426
[phone beeps]
169
00:07:48,476 --> 00:07:51,596
OMG.
Worm just Venmo'd me $200.
170
00:07:51,646 --> 00:07:53,723
[both laugh]
171
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,726
Wait...
172
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,979
Is it tragic that my pee is
more valuable than my ideas?
173
00:08:00,029 --> 00:08:02,815
Try not to overthink it.
174
00:08:02,865 --> 00:08:04,116
Yeah, you're right.
175
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:07,653
Can you finish that?
176
00:08:07,703 --> 00:08:10,489
Hmm? Oh, what, no!
177
00:08:10,539 --> 00:08:12,342
-No, eww!
-Seriously, he's gonna be here
178
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,117
ike any second.
179
00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:15,461
I don't wanna
run into him in person.
180
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,382
[Ulysses grunts]
181
00:08:22,343 --> 00:08:23,920
You are gross.
182
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,630
Be right back!
183
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,048
WOMAN: Me and Zeke
184
00:08:27,098 --> 00:08:29,175
had the most incredible
threesome last week,
185
00:08:29,225 --> 00:08:31,510
with a trans masculine
we met on Tinder.
186
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:35,765
It's like my soul has expanded
from sharing so much pleasure.
187
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:39,852
Mmm, so you and Zeke have been
seeing each other a lot, huh?
188
00:08:39,902 --> 00:08:43,189
Yeah, we have intense NRE.
189
00:08:43,239 --> 00:08:45,066
What's NRE?
190
00:08:45,116 --> 00:08:47,234
[girls laugh]
191
00:08:47,284 --> 00:08:49,403
New relationship energy.
192
00:08:49,453 --> 00:08:51,545
It's like, when you're
really into someone new
193
00:08:51,595 --> 00:08:52,698
and you get butterflies.
194
00:08:52,748 --> 00:08:54,951
Oh! Right.
195
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,202
Mmm.
196
00:08:56,252 --> 00:08:58,454
When you're poly,
and your partner,
197
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:00,289
like, has it
with someone else,
198
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:03,084
NRE can be gnarly.
199
00:09:03,134 --> 00:09:06,337
But then you learn that
it's not really a threat.
200
00:09:06,387 --> 00:09:08,556
Yeah, it's like, wanting
to fuck someone,
201
00:09:08,606 --> 00:09:10,007
or having a crush on them,
202
00:09:10,057 --> 00:09:11,425
it fades.
203
00:09:11,475 --> 00:09:12,969
You know,
it's not the same
204
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,304
as being in
a committed relationship.
205
00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:18,349
-Mmm-hmm.
-Ohh.
206
00:09:18,399 --> 00:09:20,151
Oh, fucking shit.
207
00:09:23,821 --> 00:09:25,523
Oh, fuck, goddammit.
208
00:09:25,573 --> 00:09:29,285
-[peeing sound]
-Oh my God.
209
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,831
[faint moaning]
210
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,830
There you are. I've been
looking all over for you.
211
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,039
Well, you found me.
212
00:09:42,089 --> 00:09:44,125
Everyone here is so nice!
213
00:09:44,175 --> 00:09:46,877
I know, it's unbearable.
214
00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:50,556
Hey, so,
have you heard of NRE?
215
00:09:50,848 --> 00:09:52,738
-I have.
-It just makes
216
00:09:52,788 --> 00:09:54,677
so much sense, right?
217
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:59,140
I mean, sex and love aren't
necessarily the same thing.
218
00:09:59,190 --> 00:10:01,308
-True.
-Hmm? Anyway.
219
00:10:01,358 --> 00:10:03,652
I have some people
I want you to meet.
220
00:10:08,532 --> 00:10:11,188
-Oh my God, hurry up!
-I am! Jeez,
221
00:10:11,238 --> 00:10:13,162
I have fucking heels on!
222
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,628
-Go.
-Good? OK. Go! Go!
223
00:10:24,298 --> 00:10:27,251
Hey guys!
This is Severine.
224
00:10:27,301 --> 00:10:28,377
My girlfriend.
225
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,755
WOMAN:
Well, hello there, gorgeous.
226
00:10:30,805 --> 00:10:32,548
What's your guys' rule?
227
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,892
[electronic music plays]
228
00:11:04,922 --> 00:11:06,132
Hi!
229
00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,511
I wanna suck your cock.
230
00:11:11,512 --> 00:11:12,630
Cool.
231
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,466
Do I have your
enthusiastic consent?
232
00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:17,968
Um, yes!
233
00:11:18,018 --> 00:11:19,436
OK, then.
234
00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:45,588
[inaudible speaking]
235
00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:57,683
Hello?
236
00:12:04,315 --> 00:12:05,983
Is anyone there?
237
00:12:18,621 --> 00:12:21,165
You can run, Ulysses, but you
can't escape your destiny.
238
00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:27,037
Only you and I
know the truth.
239
00:12:27,087 --> 00:12:29,498
We're the only ones
that can stop them.
240
00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:30,916
Come on, Uly!
241
00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:32,168
Stop acting like
you can't see
242
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:34,003
what's right in
front of your eyes.
243
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,797
-What do you mean?
-The human race,
244
00:12:36,847 --> 00:12:38,257
is finito,
245
00:12:38,307 --> 00:12:40,009
man, game over.
246
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,186
It's the end of the fucking
world as we know it.
247
00:12:46,649 --> 00:12:49,714
I am the archangel Gabriel
that stands in the presence
248
00:12:49,764 --> 00:12:50,769
of God.
249
00:12:50,819 --> 00:12:52,313
And I am sent
to deliver unto thee,
250
00:12:52,363 --> 00:12:56,575
joyous tidings
of catastrophic doom.
251
00:13:00,788 --> 00:13:02,748
[deep wailing horn]
252
00:13:06,043 --> 00:13:07,461
[gasps]
253
00:13:19,014 --> 00:13:21,183
[pop music playing]
254
00:13:33,195 --> 00:13:34,355
So?
255
00:13:34,405 --> 00:13:37,066
Gabriel, the trumpeter!
256
00:13:37,116 --> 00:13:39,777
Harbinger of the apocalypse!
Remember the dream that I had.
257
00:13:39,827 --> 00:13:42,084
Do you remember what I
said about taking a break
258
00:13:42,134 --> 00:13:43,322
from all the pot smoking?
259
00:13:43,372 --> 00:13:44,498
You high right now?
260
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,158
-A little. But that, that,
that's not the point.
261
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:48,702
-Oh my...
262
00:13:48,752 --> 00:13:52,373
Oh my God, Uly, no,
it's like exactly the point.
263
00:13:52,423 --> 00:13:55,876
You are perpetually baked.
264
00:13:55,926 --> 00:13:58,253
And then you wonder
why your life is like a friggin'
265
00:13:58,303 --> 00:13:59,338
Salvador Dali painting.
266
00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:01,548
Jesus, ugh.
267
00:14:01,598 --> 00:14:04,601
Maybe, but still, in my dream,
there was a fucking spaceship!
268
00:14:05,334 --> 00:14:06,335
Uly...
269
00:14:07,586 --> 00:14:09,121
Why don't you just like,
270
00:14:09,172 --> 00:14:11,749
try going cold turkey for,
like, a few days,
271
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:13,736
and seeing if it
makes a difference.
272
00:14:14,236 --> 00:14:15,696
What do you have to lose?
273
00:14:18,073 --> 00:14:19,608
So it's settled!
All right.
274
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,494
Today is day one, weed
and hallucination free.
275
00:14:23,011 --> 00:14:24,504
Argh.
276
00:14:24,872 --> 00:14:27,283
Yeah, you know, I, uh,
but I got that big date
277
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,702
-with Isaac later.
-OK. So, who cares?
278
00:14:29,752 --> 00:14:32,079
It's all the more reason
to start with a clean slate.
279
00:14:32,129 --> 00:14:35,249
First day of the rest
of your life! Etcetera.
280
00:14:35,591 --> 00:14:37,107
Uhh...
281
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:39,682
Uh, but then, also, I'm- gonna,
I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be so
282
00:14:39,732 --> 00:14:40,497
nervous, you know.
283
00:14:40,637 --> 00:14:42,506
Uly...
284
00:14:42,556 --> 00:14:44,705
You know, I have so much faith
in you, that you're gonna...
285
00:14:45,599 --> 00:14:47,635
You're, um, heh.
286
00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:49,471
What?
287
00:14:49,780 --> 00:14:51,357
Turn around.
288
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:56,779
Isn't that...?
289
00:15:00,246 --> 00:15:01,989
Ooh.
290
00:15:02,062 --> 00:15:05,265
Oh my God, dude. You were right,
my life is frickin' over!
291
00:15:05,746 --> 00:15:07,906
It's not that bad, man.
Really.
292
00:15:07,956 --> 00:15:09,283
You think?
293
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:12,411
Yeah, yeah. You just,
you just need to calm down.
294
00:15:12,461 --> 00:15:13,996
How, how did you
find out about it?
295
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,331
What are you talking about?
296
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:16,632
I walked out of the gym today,
and...
297
00:15:25,015 --> 00:15:26,342
[girls laugh]
298
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:28,010
FORD:
Man, what am I gonna do?
299
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:31,680
Just, OK, just, everything's
gonna be fine, OK?
300
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:33,390
The human body is beautiful!
301
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,477
And, and you don't have
anything to be ashamed of.
302
00:15:36,527 --> 00:15:39,104
But my dick is blown up,
giant sized, all over town!
303
00:15:39,154 --> 00:15:40,862
How is that gonna look
when I'm trying to get taken
304
00:15:40,912 --> 00:15:41,857
seriously as a screenwriter?
305
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,818
I, I'm sure that's all gonna
be fine. It's Hollywood!
306
00:15:44,868 --> 00:15:47,196
Nobody gives a shit about
anything other than themselves anyway.
307
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:49,782
I dunno, dude,
I'm really worried.
308
00:15:49,832 --> 00:15:52,076
[phone rings]
309
00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:55,329
Oh, shit! It's Sev! Fuck!
310
00:15:55,379 --> 00:15:58,582
-What do I do?
-You got to uh, you gotta tell her, right?
311
00:15:58,632 --> 00:16:00,959
Meh, do I? You know,
I don't wanna get her mad.
312
00:16:01,009 --> 00:16:02,836
Yeah, but it sorta-
it sorta feels like you have to,
313
00:16:02,886 --> 00:16:04,129
'cause she's
gonna find out eventually.
314
00:16:04,179 --> 00:16:05,881
Yeah, I guess.
315
00:16:06,246 --> 00:16:07,383
Should I pick it up?
316
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,301
You've gotta pick it up.
317
00:16:09,351 --> 00:16:11,562
[phone rings]
318
00:16:13,529 --> 00:16:14,988
[sighing] OK, yeah.
319
00:16:17,262 --> 00:16:19,589
Hey... babe.
320
00:16:19,756 --> 00:16:23,585
-Ford?
-FORD: So, um...
321
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:26,485
[sighing]
Something kinda happened.
322
00:16:26,535 --> 00:16:27,653
Good start.
323
00:16:27,703 --> 00:16:29,154
What do you mean?
324
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:31,323
You remember those pictures
325
00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:33,450
I showed you a couple
days ago, that Otto took?
326
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,868
That's why I was calling.
327
00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:37,287
-Oh.
-SEV: I'm looking
328
00:16:37,337 --> 00:16:38,747
at an image of you,
329
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:41,959
almost naked,
on the side of a skyscraper.
330
00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:44,292
What!
SEV: Yes!
331
00:16:44,343 --> 00:16:48,589
Your penis bulge is the size
of a single family home.
332
00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:52,261
Shit, Sev, ok, listen to me, ok?
I can explain this, um...
333
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,627
The last thing on the
planet that I ever wanna
334
00:16:54,677 --> 00:16:55,848
do is to embarrass you.
335
00:16:55,898 --> 00:16:57,266
SEV: I'm not embarrassed.
336
00:16:57,316 --> 00:17:00,519
On the contrary,
I find it highly erotic.
337
00:17:00,570 --> 00:17:01,755
What, wait, what?
338
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,231
-You do?
-Now what is she saying?
339
00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:05,816
Shut the... really?
340
00:17:05,866 --> 00:17:08,652
Yea. And I've already
made plans for us
341
00:17:08,702 --> 00:17:11,905
to have another very special
adventure tonight.
342
00:17:11,955 --> 00:17:15,250
Can you come by my apartment
around ten o'clock?
343
00:17:16,393 --> 00:17:19,688
Uh, y-yeah, sure.
344
00:17:20,923 --> 00:17:22,416
Perfect, see you then.
345
00:17:22,466 --> 00:17:24,793
OK, well...
346
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,512
bye, babe.
347
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:31,308
What did she say?
348
00:17:32,476 --> 00:17:34,761
I...
349
00:17:34,811 --> 00:17:37,648
[man groaning]
Oh, shit! Who...
350
00:17:39,066 --> 00:17:40,559
[moaning on TV]
351
00:17:40,609 --> 00:17:44,279
Oh. Let me guess.
You're my new roommate?
352
00:17:48,909 --> 00:17:51,495
Start making you guys
wear name tags.
353
00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:56,031
-Oh my God, I'm gonna
fucking pee my pants.
354
00:17:56,081 --> 00:17:56,783
-ANANDA: Wait.
355
00:17:56,833 --> 00:17:58,660
-Don't go in there.
-Why not?
356
00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:00,496
It's occupied.
357
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,317
-By who?
-Yeah, I was a little short
358
00:18:02,367 --> 00:18:03,624
on rent this month, so...
359
00:18:03,674 --> 00:18:06,001
I'm Airbnb'ing out my room
for a couple nights.
360
00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:07,753
I'll just sleep on the couch,
it's no big.
361
00:18:07,803 --> 00:18:11,089
You've been living here
for less than four hours.
362
00:18:11,139 --> 00:18:12,724
I know that?
363
00:18:13,934 --> 00:18:15,727
[exhales sharply]
OK.
364
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,148
Shit.
365
00:18:23,819 --> 00:18:25,112
Fuck, fuck.
366
00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,153
Ah.
367
00:18:33,203 --> 00:18:34,947
[peeing sound]
368
00:18:34,997 --> 00:18:36,248
[phone beeps]
369
00:19:05,235 --> 00:19:07,294
-OK, are, are they out
of the bathroom yet?
370
00:19:07,344 --> 00:19:08,063
-Shh, shh, shh.
371
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:10,023
No. Why?
372
00:19:10,073 --> 00:19:12,401
Because I need to take
a fucking shower.
373
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:13,827
[sighs]
374
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,742
Hey! I need to use
the bathroom.
375
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:22,210
What is going on in there?
376
00:19:24,046 --> 00:19:26,381
Hello! Can you hear me?
377
00:19:32,054 --> 00:19:34,006
Oh my... Oh my god, no.
378
00:19:34,056 --> 00:19:37,175
OK, you know what? No.
This is not acceptable.
379
00:19:37,225 --> 00:19:38,260
They need to leave now.
380
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:40,771
Well, contact Airbnb
if you want.
381
00:19:44,274 --> 00:19:47,653
No, you tell them to leave.
This is my house!
382
00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:55,986
OK, listen.
383
00:19:56,036 --> 00:19:58,572
I need you to get
this fuckin' weird,
384
00:19:58,622 --> 00:20:00,157
UNICEF family out of here!
385
00:20:00,207 --> 00:20:02,868
And I need you to go sleep
in your own fucking room!
386
00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:06,268
OK, I literally feel like I'm
being assaulted by your white
387
00:20:06,318 --> 00:20:07,456
privilege right now.
388
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:11,960
Oh my God.
Oh my fucking God!
389
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,546
ISAAC: I'm glad that you're
not super materialistic.
390
00:20:14,596 --> 00:20:17,349
Because social work is
many things, but well-paying is
391
00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:18,300
not one of them.
392
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:21,141
Yeah! I've always
been kinda turned off by
393
00:20:21,191 --> 00:20:22,471
brazen consumerism.
394
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:25,182
You know? Always wanting more,
and more, and more.
395
00:20:25,232 --> 00:20:27,839
it's like a cancer eating
away at your soul.
396
00:20:27,889 --> 00:20:29,394
But then again, I'm poor.
397
00:20:29,444 --> 00:20:30,729
If I was rich,
398
00:20:30,779 --> 00:20:32,773
maybe I'd feel differently.
399
00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:35,732
-I was into the whole
minimalism thing for a while.
400
00:20:35,782 --> 00:20:36,735
-Oh, really?
401
00:20:36,785 --> 00:20:39,821
I mean, I still have
way too much stuff.
402
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:42,115
But I can appreciate
the basic concept.
403
00:20:42,165 --> 00:20:45,023
Just getting rid of all the
junk in your life to make room
404
00:20:45,073 --> 00:20:46,161
for what's meaningful.
405
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:47,212
Like?
406
00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:50,494
Like relationships,
407
00:20:50,674 --> 00:20:53,752
people that you care about,
and cool experiences.
408
00:20:53,802 --> 00:20:56,171
Life is just time, right?
So, once you...
409
00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:59,530
strip away all the extraneous
bullshit, then you make room
410
00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:01,134
for the stuff that matters.
411
00:21:01,184 --> 00:21:03,053
-Yeah, I dunno.
-Mm.
412
00:21:03,103 --> 00:21:05,847
Maybe I'm already drunk,
or something, but...
413
00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:07,849
that makes a frightening
amount of sense to me.
414
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:09,317
[both laugh]
415
00:21:11,111 --> 00:21:13,405
[pop music playing]
416
00:21:17,826 --> 00:21:18,902
ISAAC: You all right?
417
00:21:18,952 --> 00:21:21,037
Huh?
418
00:21:22,539 --> 00:21:23,832
Ha, yeah.
419
00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:27,369
Yeah, uh, sorry.
420
00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:30,622
I think I may have drank my
drink just a little too fast.
421
00:21:30,672 --> 00:21:34,000
Do you wanna get some
fresh air or something?
422
00:21:34,050 --> 00:21:36,762
Yeah. That sounds good.
423
00:21:39,723 --> 00:21:42,017
[mellow pop music plays]
424
00:22:16,426 --> 00:22:17,803
[sighs]
425
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,312
-ULYSSES: You know what's cool?
426
00:22:22,362 --> 00:22:22,924
-ISAAC: Mmm?
427
00:22:22,974 --> 00:22:26,845
It's cool that, even in a city
with millions of people in it,
428
00:22:26,895 --> 00:22:29,659
that there's still
spots like this.
429
00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:31,162
I used to come here
all the time,
430
00:22:31,213 --> 00:22:34,917
just to, like, be alone
with my thoughts, and,
431
00:22:34,968 --> 00:22:36,461
listen to the sounds.
432
00:22:36,512 --> 00:22:38,714
Yeah, L.A. can be
a little overwhelming.
433
00:22:39,032 --> 00:22:41,777
It's sort of like a deranged
cartoon or something.
434
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:45,155
-[both laugh]
-Yeah, it gets pretty crazy down there.
435
00:22:45,205 --> 00:22:48,784
From this perspective though...
436
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:52,037
it seems so serene and perfect.
437
00:22:52,087 --> 00:22:55,591
-You know, now
that I'm used to it.
438
00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:56,792
-[laughs]
439
00:22:56,842 --> 00:22:59,523
-Can't really imagine
being anywhere else.
440
00:22:59,573 --> 00:23:00,670
-Yeah, same here.
441
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,756
I guess we're just
both weirdos.
442
00:23:02,806 --> 00:23:06,434
-[laughs]
-Yeah, guess we are.
443
00:23:09,479 --> 00:23:12,474
-Cold?
-Hmm? Oh, sort of.
444
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:15,352
Just, uh...
445
00:23:15,402 --> 00:23:17,404
But I'm having
a really nice time.
446
00:23:18,989 --> 00:23:20,657
So am I.
447
00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:41,878
[sighs] Wow, I've wanted
to do that for so long.
448
00:23:41,928 --> 00:23:43,505
Me, too.
449
00:23:43,555 --> 00:23:45,215
[sighs]
No, seriously, from like
450
00:23:45,265 --> 00:23:48,760
the second you walked
into the bar tonight.
451
00:23:48,810 --> 00:23:51,429
I've wanted to kiss you
since the first night we met.
452
00:23:51,479 --> 00:23:52,856
-When you were lying
on the ground? Yeah,
453
00:23:52,906 --> 00:23:53,348
-Yeah.
454
00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:55,892
then, too. I mean, I wanted
to make sure your back
455
00:23:56,180 --> 00:23:57,729
-wasn't, like,
broken or anything.
456
00:23:57,779 --> 00:23:58,278
-Right.
457
00:24:04,659 --> 00:24:06,989
I wanna go some... somewhere
where we can make out for real,
458
00:24:07,039 --> 00:24:08,029
and take our clothes off.
459
00:24:08,079 --> 00:24:09,447
Yeah?
460
00:24:09,497 --> 00:24:12,617
My, uh, roommate is-is gone
for the night,
461
00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:14,160
so we'll have
the place to ourselves.
462
00:24:14,210 --> 00:24:16,212
I'm already there.
463
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:20,550
OK, let's go.
464
00:24:45,659 --> 00:24:47,118
[phone chimes]
465
00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:04,302
[elevator dings]
466
00:25:06,990 --> 00:25:08,492
[sighs]
467
00:25:15,772 --> 00:25:18,099
-SEV: Ford?
-Yeah, babe.
468
00:25:18,149 --> 00:25:20,610
SEV: I'll be there
in a minute. Hold on.
469
00:25:23,530 --> 00:25:26,816
ULYSSES: God.
I want you so fucking bad.
470
00:25:26,866 --> 00:25:28,443
Same.
471
00:25:28,493 --> 00:25:30,445
No. No, like, like
472
00:25:30,495 --> 00:25:32,280
my dick is so hard,
473
00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:34,958
-that it hurts.
-I know, mine too.
474
00:25:38,003 --> 00:25:40,205
That's the, that's the thing
with gay guys,
475
00:25:40,255 --> 00:25:42,040
it's like the same
for both of us.
476
00:25:42,090 --> 00:25:43,333
It's definitely
one advantage
477
00:25:43,383 --> 00:25:44,876
that we have
over straight people.
478
00:25:44,926 --> 00:25:47,087
Or, or it's a drawback.
479
00:25:47,137 --> 00:25:48,890
Because we're both
horny as fuck right
480
00:25:48,940 --> 00:25:50,548
now, and no one's
being sensible.
481
00:25:50,598 --> 00:25:53,468
-True.
-Mmm. Oh.
482
00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:56,846
But let's, let's,
let's not have full on sex tonight.
483
00:25:56,896 --> 00:25:58,360
-I mean, I don't
wanna rush things.
484
00:25:58,410 --> 00:25:59,391
-Whatever you wanna do.
485
00:25:59,441 --> 00:26:02,027
Do you wanna suck each other
off? Or just hand jobs?
486
00:26:03,733 --> 00:26:05,485
Hand jobs only though?
487
00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:09,192
Are you OK?
488
00:26:09,243 --> 00:26:11,435
Yeah. Yeah!
489
00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:12,979
Yeah?
490
00:26:13,030 --> 00:26:15,324
Yeah. Uh...
491
00:26:18,585 --> 00:26:20,245
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm good.
492
00:26:20,295 --> 00:26:22,497
Uh...
493
00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:24,374
Um, I'm...
uh, I'm sorry.
494
00:26:25,180 --> 00:26:27,419
Maybe we should,
we should wait.
495
00:26:27,469 --> 00:26:31,473
-[sighs]
-Sure, um, it's no problem.
496
00:26:33,099 --> 00:26:34,641
-Let's wait then.
-I'm sorry, I just,
497
00:26:34,691 --> 00:26:36,559
I, uh, I really,
498
00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:40,652
-really like you. And I...
-I, I wanna do whatever
499
00:26:40,702 --> 00:26:41,816
you wanna do.
500
00:26:45,528 --> 00:26:47,655
OK? For real.
501
00:26:48,907 --> 00:26:51,701
OK. Uh, cool.
502
00:27:03,505 --> 00:27:05,040
So...
503
00:27:05,090 --> 00:27:07,500
I don't think I can
resist you much longer.
504
00:27:07,785 --> 00:27:09,339
Yeah, me neither.
505
00:27:09,738 --> 00:27:11,523
To be continued?
506
00:27:11,605 --> 00:27:14,316
Def-definitely.
Definitely to, to be continued.
507
00:27:18,371 --> 00:27:20,781
I had the best fucking date
of my life with you tonight.
508
00:27:21,725 --> 00:27:23,569
Yeah...
509
00:27:24,027 --> 00:27:25,361
Yeah, me too.
510
00:27:27,833 --> 00:27:30,494
Look, I, I, um,
I know this feels...
511
00:27:30,865 --> 00:27:33,610
kinda shitty,
right now, but...
512
00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:36,488
I mean, tomorrow, we're gonna
be so glad that we waited.
513
00:27:36,538 --> 00:27:38,740
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
514
00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:41,159
[laughs]
515
00:27:41,209 --> 00:27:43,536
OK, uh, yeah.
516
00:27:43,586 --> 00:27:46,047
-I'll walk you to your car.
-OK, cool.
517
00:27:49,713 --> 00:27:51,131
[sighs]
518
00:27:53,233 --> 00:27:54,243
Ready?
519
00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:56,585
Mmm-hmm, yeah.
520
00:27:59,556 --> 00:28:01,299
Let's, let's go.
521
00:28:01,711 --> 00:28:02,873
OK.
522
00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:09,471
Fuck tomorrow.
523
00:28:09,643 --> 00:28:11,895
[pop music plays loudly]
36153
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese