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1
00:00:16,269 --> 00:00:17,864
I've been camming
online for money.
2
00:00:17,914 --> 00:00:18,430
[moans]
3
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,390
NARRATOR:
Previously on Now Apocalypse.
4
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,851
I told you I could only come
if I was finished with my work.
5
00:00:22,901 --> 00:00:23,562
Sev, wait!
6
00:00:23,612 --> 00:00:25,645
ULYSSES: From the
moment me and Gabriel met,
7
00:00:25,695 --> 00:00:27,906
there was this supernatural
connection between us.
8
00:00:29,324 --> 00:00:31,734
My name's Aja.
Ah! Oh! Oh!
9
00:00:31,784 --> 00:00:33,730
-Don't you ever get
bizarre premonitions?
10
00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:34,446
-MAN: Help me.
11
00:00:34,496 --> 00:00:37,490
They keep fucking me.
They won't stop.
12
00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:39,747
-I'm fucking quitting acting.
-Whatever happened to that web
13
00:00:39,797 --> 00:00:40,869
series that you were writing?
14
00:00:40,919 --> 00:00:41,953
I'll help you film it.
15
00:00:42,003 --> 00:00:45,006
You... want me to spank you?
16
00:00:46,799 --> 00:00:48,001
ULYSSES: Fucking, sucking,
17
00:00:48,051 --> 00:00:50,587
hand jobs,
rimming, ass stuff,
18
00:00:50,637 --> 00:00:53,631
fingering, nipple play,
then double it.
19
00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:56,551
'Cause of course, you can
give and receive. So, what is it, like 12?
20
00:00:56,601 --> 00:00:59,053
Maybe you count
making out, so it's like 13.
21
00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:01,168
-So, like, let's say like 15.
22
00:01:01,218 --> 00:01:01,890
-OK.
23
00:01:01,940 --> 00:01:04,017
Of the 15 or so...
24
00:01:04,067 --> 00:01:07,604
items on the gay sex menu,
I'm into most all of them.
25
00:01:07,654 --> 00:01:11,566
But there's two things
you can only do with a girl.
26
00:01:11,616 --> 00:01:13,610
Fucking a vag,
and eating one.
27
00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:14,944
-Right.
-Mmm.
28
00:01:14,994 --> 00:01:16,613
And I genuinely enjoy both.
29
00:01:16,663 --> 00:01:17,906
Especially fucking a pussy.
30
00:01:17,956 --> 00:01:19,657
It is not at all
like fucking an ass.
31
00:01:19,707 --> 00:01:21,451
It's a totally
different sensation.
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00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:25,079
It's the only hole designed
to accommodate a cock.
33
00:01:25,129 --> 00:01:26,789
Exactly.
34
00:01:26,839 --> 00:01:28,625
But, I'm still naturally
35
00:01:28,675 --> 00:01:31,628
so much more attracted to guys,
so it doesn't even make me bi,
36
00:01:31,678 --> 00:01:34,399
it's just like, every once in
a while, you know, I like to
37
00:01:34,449 --> 00:01:35,340
order off the menu.
38
00:01:35,390 --> 00:01:36,966
Plus, Aja was really hot.
39
00:01:37,016 --> 00:01:41,387
It makes sense. I mean,
99% of the time, I am...
40
00:01:41,437 --> 00:01:43,806
all about the "D."
But, then, I don't know,
41
00:01:43,856 --> 00:01:45,808
sometimes I'll just randomly
end up with a cunt in my mouth.
42
00:01:45,858 --> 00:01:50,063
And I'm all, [exhales sharply]
guess I'm progressive.
43
00:01:50,113 --> 00:01:52,982
[both laugh]
44
00:01:53,032 --> 00:01:54,859
♪ Then life is finite ♪
45
00:01:54,909 --> 00:01:57,946
[Ford sighs]
I'm sorry, Sev.
46
00:01:57,996 --> 00:01:59,656
You know I hate it
when we fight.
47
00:01:59,706 --> 00:02:01,449
We're not fighting.
48
00:02:01,499 --> 00:02:03,826
I'm very busy at the moment,
and you're unhappy about it.
49
00:02:03,876 --> 00:02:07,956
I understand that work
is a priority for you.
50
00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:11,876
I just, I need to make sure
that our relationship is a priority, too.
51
00:02:11,926 --> 00:02:13,461
SEV: Of course it is, Ford.
52
00:02:13,511 --> 00:02:15,964
Just because I need to focus
on work right now,
53
00:02:16,014 --> 00:02:18,841
doesn't mean I care
any less about you.
54
00:02:18,891 --> 00:02:22,011
But I really must go,
Lars and Klaus are waiting.
55
00:02:22,061 --> 00:02:23,555
Can I still see you later?
56
00:02:23,605 --> 00:02:25,431
I might be very late,
and I need to get up
57
00:02:25,481 --> 00:02:26,558
early in the morning.
58
00:02:26,608 --> 00:02:28,518
That's cool. I, I don't mind.
59
00:02:28,568 --> 00:02:29,852
SEV: All right.
60
00:02:29,902 --> 00:02:31,896
But I need to get to sleep
as soon as I get home.
61
00:02:31,946 --> 00:02:33,523
I, I promise,
62
00:02:33,573 --> 00:02:35,066
I just want
to sleep next to you.
63
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,151
Fine,
I'll see you later then.
64
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:39,028
Sweet, OK. Bye, babes!
65
00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:40,163
Bye, Ford.
66
00:02:41,934 --> 00:02:43,180
Sorry about that.
67
00:02:43,389 --> 00:02:46,509
-No problem.
-It is why we are both still single.
68
00:02:46,753 --> 00:02:49,005
-Anyway, shall we?
-Mm.
69
00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:53,751
Oh, I was meaning to ask.
70
00:02:53,801 --> 00:02:55,804
Have either of you
noticed any unusual
71
00:02:55,854 --> 00:02:57,639
vehicles following you recently?
72
00:02:59,974 --> 00:03:01,426
No, why?
73
00:03:01,476 --> 00:03:02,477
Have you?
74
00:03:04,062 --> 00:03:07,065
I thought so, the other day.
But, I'm sure it was nothing.
75
00:03:08,691 --> 00:03:10,602
This is, seriously,
76
00:03:10,652 --> 00:03:13,062
our last round. We gotta
get up early tomorrow.
77
00:03:13,112 --> 00:03:16,816
The 8:00 a.m. call time
was your brilliant idea. Not mine.
78
00:03:16,866 --> 00:03:18,985
We do have a lot
of scenes to shoot
79
00:03:19,035 --> 00:03:20,453
in one day.
80
00:03:22,622 --> 00:03:25,742
-What are you doing?
-Sorry, uh, it was my cam client.
81
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:27,744
Worm. Uh, we were
sexting earlier.
82
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:30,455
I didn't think that you gave
your number out to these guys.
83
00:03:30,505 --> 00:03:33,418
Yeah, I,I don't normally.
But, I, I don't know,
84
00:03:33,468 --> 00:03:35,168
this one is like weirdly...
85
00:03:35,218 --> 00:03:37,045
endearing.
86
00:03:37,095 --> 00:03:38,796
He looks like a dying bird.
87
00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:41,348
-Is this the... Is
this the pee guy?
88
00:03:41,398 --> 00:03:42,216
-Mmm.
89
00:03:42,266 --> 00:03:44,801
Did I tell you about him?
Yeah, he, uh, he watched me
90
00:03:44,851 --> 00:03:45,762
pee in the bathtub.
91
00:03:45,812 --> 00:03:46,813
Ugh, yeah.
92
00:03:48,231 --> 00:03:49,682
-Mmm.
-Was it, like, hot?
93
00:03:49,732 --> 00:03:52,852
Hmm, eh,
eh, yeah.
94
00:03:52,902 --> 00:03:55,813
Speaking of, have you heard
from Palm Springs guy?
95
00:03:55,863 --> 00:04:00,109
Leif? Oh, no. We-we purposely
didn't exchange numbers.
96
00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:02,612
I told him I didn't
wanna be tempted, so...
97
00:04:02,662 --> 00:04:04,906
-[phone vibrating]
-Sorry.
98
00:04:04,956 --> 00:04:07,992
Oh. And, uh,
on that note.
99
00:04:08,042 --> 00:04:09,118
Hey, babe!
100
00:04:09,168 --> 00:04:12,580
-Are you fucking watching it?
-Um, yes!
101
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:14,230
[whispering] He's the worst.
102
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,625
Yeah, uh, American
Crime Scene on ABC, right?
103
00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:17,001
CBS!
104
00:04:17,051 --> 00:04:18,753
Yeah, yeah, sorry,
of course. Ha ha!
105
00:04:18,803 --> 00:04:19,796
JETHRO: Where are you?
106
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,130
Uh, I just...
107
00:04:22,159 --> 00:04:23,574
I'm just, uh, at home.
108
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:25,635
Sounds noisy.
CARLY: It's, uh...
109
00:04:25,685 --> 00:04:27,553
It's... [chuckles]
neighbors.
110
00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:31,599
Uh, oh, oh, oh, baby!
Baby! Shh, quiet, quiet. It's my scene.
111
00:04:31,649 --> 00:04:35,812
Ah, ah, ah. Hey-hey, not, not
too hard. Just...watch the TV.
112
00:04:35,862 --> 00:04:39,982
Wow, you are so real,
and in the moment, bro.
113
00:04:40,032 --> 00:04:41,818
[choking]
114
00:04:41,868 --> 00:04:43,703
Thanks, bro.
115
00:04:59,886 --> 00:05:00,797
Did I wake you?
116
00:05:00,847 --> 00:05:03,631
Sorry, I was trying to
be as silent as possible.
117
00:05:03,681 --> 00:05:05,299
That's OK.
I just wanted to make sure
118
00:05:05,349 --> 00:05:07,760
to say "good morning"
before you go.
119
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:09,595
That's sweet.
120
00:05:09,645 --> 00:05:11,180
Oh, you're leaving already?
121
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:14,016
Yes. I told you, I have
a very full day today.
122
00:05:14,066 --> 00:05:15,768
-[phone chimes]
-All right.
123
00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:17,019
See you later.
124
00:05:17,069 --> 00:05:18,187
Whoa.
125
00:05:18,237 --> 00:05:20,615
-What is it?
-Uh...
126
00:05:22,617 --> 00:05:24,193
Otto just...
127
00:05:24,243 --> 00:05:27,697
uh, sent me the photos
he took of me from our modeling session.
128
00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:29,081
Oh?
129
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:34,287
Hmm. OK.
130
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,706
Have a productive day.
131
00:05:36,756 --> 00:05:38,207
Uh, they're good, right?
132
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:39,917
Yes...
133
00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:43,379
Your body's uh, sublime
as a Greek sculpture.
134
00:05:43,429 --> 00:05:45,965
Yeah, you think?
135
00:05:46,015 --> 00:05:48,342
-[phone beeps]
-Klaus? Yes.
136
00:05:48,392 --> 00:05:49,677
-I'm on my way.
-Sev, wait.
137
00:05:49,727 --> 00:05:51,604
-Sev, wait.
-What?
138
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:53,723
I love you.
139
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,058
-Yeah, me too.
-Really?
140
00:05:56,108 --> 00:05:57,602
Do you?
141
00:05:57,652 --> 00:06:00,104
-Do I what?
-Love me.
142
00:06:00,154 --> 00:06:02,064
Yes, I just said so.
Ford, honestly,
143
00:06:02,114 --> 00:06:04,108
I don't have time
for this discussion.
144
00:06:04,158 --> 00:06:07,236
I'll call you later.
Klaus.
145
00:06:07,286 --> 00:06:09,906
Yes, sorry.
I'm leaving right now.
146
00:06:09,956 --> 00:06:11,290
Bye!
147
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,296
[sighs]
148
00:06:29,809 --> 00:06:32,645
MAN:
You still don't get it, do you?
149
00:06:35,064 --> 00:06:36,891
Get what?
150
00:06:36,941 --> 00:06:40,978
What this is all about.
151
00:06:41,028 --> 00:06:42,855
Don't play dumb with me,
Ulysses.
152
00:06:42,905 --> 00:06:45,024
You are double
Sagittarius, after all.
153
00:06:45,074 --> 00:06:47,276
Scorpio.
154
00:06:47,326 --> 00:06:51,197
The point is you know.
You've always known.
155
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,249
What, what are
you talking about?
156
00:06:56,919 --> 00:06:59,288
The apocalypse is nigh,
when, behold,
157
00:06:59,338 --> 00:07:04,260
the archangel Gabriel appears,
and blows his golden trumpet.
158
00:07:29,911 --> 00:07:32,029
[sighs]
159
00:07:32,079 --> 00:07:34,206
[phone alarm beeping]
160
00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:41,163
ULYSSES: So, we are rolling.
161
00:07:41,213 --> 00:07:45,092
MAGENTA:
Sluts. Scene one, take one.
162
00:07:48,346 --> 00:07:51,132
OK. And...
163
00:07:51,182 --> 00:07:52,391
action!
164
00:07:53,309 --> 00:07:55,344
I am so over acting.
165
00:07:55,394 --> 00:07:57,138
Like, being an actress in L.A.
166
00:07:57,188 --> 00:07:59,849
is like being anorexic at
an all girls boarding school.
167
00:07:59,899 --> 00:08:03,102
It's unoriginal,
and you're fucking starving.
168
00:08:03,152 --> 00:08:06,898
Not to mention, there's always
someone thinner than you.
169
00:08:06,948 --> 00:08:09,400
CARLY: I was thinking, maybe
I should do a web series.
170
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:11,621
I just feel like I
really identify as
171
00:08:11,671 --> 00:08:14,330
someone who would
be an internet celebrity.
172
00:08:16,415 --> 00:08:18,242
Fuck, I forgot my line,
what is it, again?
173
00:08:18,292 --> 00:08:20,119
You say: "Yeah."
174
00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:22,338
Right, sorry, um.
175
00:08:23,422 --> 00:08:24,423
Yeah!
176
00:08:25,925 --> 00:08:28,210
So, what should
my show be about?
177
00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:32,131
Hmm, how about
transgender runaways...
178
00:08:32,181 --> 00:08:35,885
Um, actually, the line should
be gender non-conforming runaways.
179
00:08:35,935 --> 00:08:39,889
Magenta! We are ad-libbing!
Just go stand in the corner.
180
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:42,516
Um, what about me?
Am-am I doing OK?
181
00:08:42,566 --> 00:08:43,976
Who are you?
182
00:08:44,026 --> 00:08:47,021
I'm your new roommate,
Emily.
183
00:08:47,071 --> 00:08:49,815
Yeah. Right, sorry.
184
00:08:49,865 --> 00:08:54,495
Emily, could you
be less enthusiastic with the table wiping?
185
00:08:56,247 --> 00:08:58,074
Let's just pick it up
where we left off, OK?
186
00:08:58,124 --> 00:09:00,117
And... action!
187
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,829
Anyway, so, what's new
with you, Odysseus?
188
00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:07,583
Well, I've been on a bit
of a sex rampage lately.
189
00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:10,252
I fucked this girl
Astrid last night
190
00:09:10,302 --> 00:09:13,005
-under a bus.
-OMG.
191
00:09:13,055 --> 00:09:14,423
Are you bisexual now?
192
00:09:14,473 --> 00:09:18,302
I'm not bisexual,
I'm just a slut.
193
00:09:18,352 --> 00:09:20,313
[both chuckle]
194
00:09:21,939 --> 00:09:23,891
Teach me , baby.
195
00:09:23,941 --> 00:09:26,526
-Teach me. Teach
me, baby! Teach me...
196
00:09:26,576 --> 00:09:28,437
-We can hear you in here!
197
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:31,816
Oh! Sorry, my bad.
198
00:09:31,866 --> 00:09:35,945
[whispering]
Teach me, baby. Teach me, baby.
199
00:09:35,995 --> 00:09:39,156
Ooh. Oh, yeah.
200
00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:40,825
Teach me, baby.
201
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,002
[electronic music plays]
202
00:09:45,171 --> 00:09:46,580
-ULYSSES: And...
- [camera shutter clicks]
203
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:48,958
Action!
204
00:09:49,008 --> 00:09:52,378
Ommm.
205
00:09:52,428 --> 00:09:54,213
Ommm.
206
00:09:54,263 --> 00:09:58,217
Jebediah, I'm so horny.
207
00:09:58,267 --> 00:10:00,636
Please fuck me. Please.
208
00:10:00,686 --> 00:10:03,139
Ommm,
get off my jock, Charley.
209
00:10:03,189 --> 00:10:04,876
Can't you see I'm busy trying to
210
00:10:04,926 --> 00:10:06,934
reach a higher plane
of consciousness?
211
00:10:06,984 --> 00:10:11,614
Jebediah, please, I am
so desperate for your cock.
212
00:10:13,782 --> 00:10:15,192
Wait, wait, wait.
213
00:10:15,274 --> 00:10:15,838
What?
214
00:10:16,994 --> 00:10:20,156
It's just that last line
doesn't feel authentic to my character.
215
00:10:20,206 --> 00:10:21,657
Why not?
216
00:10:21,707 --> 00:10:23,993
Sweetie, I wouldn't expect
you to understand, but...
217
00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:27,171
someone who meditates
couldn't possibly be that condescending.
218
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:32,001
Look, I think with all
the takes that we've done,
219
00:10:32,051 --> 00:10:33,627
-we already got it.
-CARLY: OK, whatever.
220
00:10:33,677 --> 00:10:36,172
Let's just move on
to the sex scene.
221
00:10:36,222 --> 00:10:38,299
OK, fine, if you say so.
222
00:10:38,349 --> 00:10:40,634
I'll just have to say
"I told you so" when all hell breaks loose
223
00:10:40,684 --> 00:10:44,513
in the Zen blogosphere over
your flawed representation of the practice.
224
00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:46,390
Um, before we do the sex scene,
225
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,559
I just think it's a good idea
for everyone to say out loud
226
00:10:48,609 --> 00:10:51,143
-what they do and do not
consent to, as to avoid...
227
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:52,021
-Shut up!
228
00:10:52,071 --> 00:10:53,072
Magenta!
229
00:10:55,199 --> 00:10:58,694
-Let's continue, shall we?
-ULYSSES: OK.
230
00:10:58,744 --> 00:11:00,788
And, action!
231
00:11:02,289 --> 00:11:04,617
Hey, I know you're
a feminist, or,
232
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:07,995
whatever, but I think it is
kinda weird that you're using your vibrator
233
00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:10,289
-while we are having sex.
-[scoffs]
234
00:11:10,339 --> 00:11:14,210
Fine! If you're so jealous,
I won't use it.
235
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:16,545
-[crashing sound]
-JETHRO: Cut, cut, cut, cut.
236
00:11:16,595 --> 00:11:18,759
-Jethro, you cannot
say cut, that is my job.
237
00:11:18,809 --> 00:11:19,548
-ULYSSES: I...
238
00:11:19,598 --> 00:11:21,384
[stammering]
I thought that was my job.
239
00:11:21,434 --> 00:11:23,260
It's just, just the
last vibrator line,
240
00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:26,263
I don't think my character
would say something like that.
241
00:11:26,313 --> 00:11:28,149
You literally said that.
242
00:11:29,483 --> 00:11:31,944
No. Don't know what
you're talking about.
243
00:11:33,612 --> 00:11:36,115
Lunch. I think that's a lunch.
244
00:11:41,579 --> 00:11:43,205
Oh, oh, wait.
245
00:11:55,551 --> 00:11:58,012
[rock music playing]
246
00:12:02,766 --> 00:12:05,594
JETHRO: So, I've got something
that I'd like to say.
247
00:12:05,860 --> 00:12:09,140
It's been a long, and,
at times, trying day.
248
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:11,058
But I think everybody dug deep,
249
00:12:11,108 --> 00:12:12,685
into their well
of life experience,
250
00:12:12,735 --> 00:12:14,270
and really delivered the goods.
251
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,605
-So cheers to us actors!
-ALL: Cheers!
252
00:12:16,655 --> 00:12:19,984
And congratulations everyone,
on a truly amazing day
253
00:12:20,034 --> 00:12:22,653
of creativity
and collaboration.
254
00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:25,998
-KAI: To Sluts!
-ALL: To Sluts!
255
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:29,535
You OK?
256
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:30,586
Whatever.
257
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,794
Oh, shit.
258
00:12:38,844 --> 00:12:40,462
My agent called.
I've been trying
259
00:12:40,512 --> 00:12:42,131
to get her on the
phone all week.
260
00:12:42,181 --> 00:12:44,016
Don't...don't leave me
with these people.
261
00:12:48,479 --> 00:12:51,182
Hi, yeah, um, is Velma there?
262
00:12:51,232 --> 00:12:55,144
Uh, she just called me,
I'm returning her call. It's Carly Carlson.
263
00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:56,695
Yeah, I can hold.
264
00:12:59,448 --> 00:13:01,817
-VELMA: Hello?
-Hey, Velma, it's Carly.
265
00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:03,027
VELMA: Who?
266
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:05,029
Carly Carlson.
267
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,655
You just called me
like an hour ago.
268
00:13:06,705 --> 00:13:08,407
Oh, right.
269
00:13:08,457 --> 00:13:12,536
So, uh, uh, did you get
any feedback on my audition last week?
270
00:13:12,586 --> 00:13:14,371
That's not the reason
why I called.
271
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,665
Oh, OK. Um...
272
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:19,692
I just, I actually just
finished a, a pretty amazing
273
00:13:19,742 --> 00:13:20,669
shoot, by the way.
274
00:13:20,719 --> 00:13:22,421
Oh, really? On what?
275
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,590
Well, I told you, I'm making
my own web series.
276
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:26,342
Oh, yeah...
277
00:13:26,580 --> 00:13:28,052
Anyway, I'm sorry, Carly,
278
00:13:28,102 --> 00:13:30,179
but I think this relationship
has run its course.
279
00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:32,599
Um... what?
280
00:13:32,650 --> 00:13:35,401
I just think you'd be
better served elsewhere.
281
00:13:37,152 --> 00:13:40,272
-But I, I, I thought that...
-VELMA: Oh, fuck!
282
00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:41,273
What?
283
00:13:41,323 --> 00:13:42,858
I just got outbid on eBay.
284
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:45,194
Fucking Russian bid bots!
285
00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:48,080
I gotta go, best of luck
with your endeavors, Carla.
286
00:13:52,668 --> 00:13:57,089
-[rock music playing]
-[party chatter]
287
00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:06,283
All right, I'm gonna head
over to the Float Lab and hit the
288
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:07,675
sensory deprivation tank.
289
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,176
If anyone wants to join me.
290
00:14:09,226 --> 00:14:11,262
Man, I would love to,
Jethro,
291
00:14:11,312 --> 00:14:13,722
but unfortunately
I have to pass.
292
00:14:13,772 --> 00:14:16,725
Gotta go home and prep for my
big audition tomorrow morning.
293
00:14:16,775 --> 00:14:18,811
-EMILY: What?
-MAGENTA: Hey, what's that?
294
00:14:18,861 --> 00:14:20,187
What are you auditioning for?
295
00:14:20,237 --> 00:14:22,314
I have no idea.
296
00:14:22,364 --> 00:14:24,681
My manager, Teddy, told
me the project is so huge,
297
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:25,901
it's shrouded in secrecy.
298
00:14:25,951 --> 00:14:28,404
Like, there's no sides,
or anything.
299
00:14:28,454 --> 00:14:31,573
I just have this random Hamlet
soliloquy to audition with.
300
00:14:31,623 --> 00:14:32,950
[Kai and Magenta laugh]
301
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,244
That's, that's cool, bro,
that's really cool.
302
00:14:35,294 --> 00:14:37,802
I mean, luckily for me,
Shakespeare is my jam,
303
00:14:37,852 --> 00:14:38,672
so...[laughs]
304
00:14:40,758 --> 00:14:42,876
-MAGENTA: Well, good luck.
-Holy shit!
305
00:14:42,926 --> 00:14:46,630
Dude, you must be emanating
some crazy powerful vibes, right now.
306
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,592
Because my manager,
Humberto, just texted me.
307
00:14:50,642 --> 00:14:53,846
I just landed a role
in a brand new
308
00:14:53,896 --> 00:14:56,899
premium cable miniseries,
starring none other than...
309
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,601
Benedict Cumberbatch!
310
00:14:59,651 --> 00:15:02,271
What the fuck
are you talking about?
311
00:15:02,321 --> 00:15:04,999
Me and Ben! Old mate, Benny!
We shared this really intense
312
00:15:05,049 --> 00:15:06,400
scene in the opening episode.
313
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:09,653
He plays a mortician
in the 1930s.
314
00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:14,575
And he walks in, and turns
on the lights, and then bam!
315
00:15:14,625 --> 00:15:17,911
There...I...am.
316
00:15:17,961 --> 00:15:20,881
Lying...on the table.
317
00:15:21,298 --> 00:15:23,167
And then...
318
00:15:23,217 --> 00:15:25,511
the dude fucking embalms me!
319
00:15:29,848 --> 00:15:33,469
[song fades out]
320
00:15:33,519 --> 00:15:37,147
[dog barking in distance]
321
00:15:42,361 --> 00:15:43,729
[sad music playing]
322
00:15:43,779 --> 00:15:45,814
Argh!
323
00:15:45,864 --> 00:15:49,943
So, I guess the AC
still isn't working?
324
00:15:49,993 --> 00:15:51,662
Hey.
325
00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:57,701
Are you...
326
00:15:57,751 --> 00:15:59,453
Are you drunk?
327
00:15:59,503 --> 00:16:00,838
Not really.
328
00:16:02,464 --> 00:16:03,832
Maybe a little.
329
00:16:03,882 --> 00:16:06,468
-But you hardly ever.
-It was hot, and...
330
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:10,506
I was sad.
331
00:16:10,556 --> 00:16:11,507
Ugh.
332
00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:13,976
What's wrong, man?
333
00:16:16,603 --> 00:16:20,891
Do you think Severine loves me
as much as I love her?
334
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,602
I think Sev does love you.
335
00:16:23,652 --> 00:16:27,564
She just maybe expresses it
differently than you do.
336
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,691
Yeah, maybe.
337
00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:33,320
It's just, we've been arguing
a lot lately, and...
338
00:16:33,370 --> 00:16:36,240
it seems like she barely
has time for me anymore.
339
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:39,243
You know,
relationships sometimes,
340
00:16:39,606 --> 00:16:40,982
they go through growing pains.
341
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,381
Yeah, I guess.
342
00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:51,004
So, what are you, uh,
what are you looking at?
343
00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:55,058
Pics from that photo shoot
I did with that director guy, Otto.
344
00:16:56,852 --> 00:16:59,563
I don't, I don't know.
What do you think?
345
00:17:02,941 --> 00:17:06,478
[Ford sighs]
Are they too gay looking? I can't tell.
346
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,864
I just, I need
your expert opinion.
347
00:17:10,532 --> 00:17:12,735
Umm.
348
00:17:12,785 --> 00:17:14,953
Come on, be honest.
349
00:17:17,456 --> 00:17:18,740
Ford, you, um,
350
00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:21,493
you didn't show your dick,
351
00:17:21,543 --> 00:17:23,454
or anything,
in any of these, did you?
352
00:17:23,504 --> 00:17:25,672
What? No!
353
00:17:26,798 --> 00:17:28,592
I don't think so, at least.
354
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,420
Look, uh, Ford.
355
00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:34,840
I, I know that you
really like Barnabas,
356
00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:37,593
and going to all the premieres,
and the parties and stuff,
357
00:17:37,643 --> 00:17:38,927
that you think is gonna
help your career.
358
00:17:38,977 --> 00:17:42,314
But just... watch out. OK?
359
00:17:43,899 --> 00:17:45,976
What are you trying to say?
360
00:17:46,026 --> 00:17:48,770
I'm just saying that there
are people out there, who
361
00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:51,448
might not have
the best intentions.
362
00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:54,526
And by "people,"
you mean Barnabas?
363
00:17:54,576 --> 00:17:57,029
And apparently this Otto dude.
364
00:17:57,079 --> 00:17:59,698
Look, you asked for my opinion,
Ford, and I'm telling you,
365
00:17:59,748 --> 00:18:01,909
these pics are, are insane!
366
00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:03,952
They're borderline porn,
and this stuff,
367
00:18:04,002 --> 00:18:05,662
it lives on
the internet forever.
368
00:18:05,712 --> 00:18:07,915
Wait, what are you,
what are you talking about?
369
00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:09,500
They're, they're just pictures!
370
00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:10,959
And when you're starting out,
like I am,
371
00:18:11,009 --> 00:18:13,629
-you have to pay your dues.
-Wait, by doing gay porn?
372
00:18:13,679 --> 00:18:16,507
They're, they're not fucking
porn! They're artistic!
373
00:18:16,557 --> 00:18:17,599
All right!
374
00:18:18,892 --> 00:18:22,846
OK, I just...
Just please be careful.
375
00:18:22,896 --> 00:18:25,724
I get really, really bad vibes
376
00:18:25,774 --> 00:18:28,685
off of Barnabas. And I wasn't
gonna tell you this before,
377
00:18:28,735 --> 00:18:30,562
-but...
-But what?
378
00:18:30,612 --> 00:18:33,482
When I walked in
on you and him,
379
00:18:33,532 --> 00:18:37,486
in Palm Springs, he had you
on the bed, and you were half undressed.
380
00:18:37,536 --> 00:18:40,447
Oh my God! He was taking
care of me!
381
00:18:40,497 --> 00:18:42,449
Stop being so paranoid!
382
00:18:42,499 --> 00:18:44,493
You just don't get it, Uly,
you never have!
383
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:47,579
Things, they, they, like, they
work a certain way in this town!
384
00:18:47,629 --> 00:18:49,665
-Oh, ho-ho, apparently!
-Yeah.
385
00:18:49,715 --> 00:18:52,668
What is that supposed to mean?
386
00:18:52,718 --> 00:18:55,170
Was that some kinda joke?
387
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,672
You know, you,
you think you're so...
388
00:18:56,722 --> 00:18:58,507
smart, and above it all.
389
00:18:58,557 --> 00:19:00,676
But sometimes you can
be so naive.
390
00:19:00,726 --> 00:19:03,679
[laughs] Really?
391
00:19:03,729 --> 00:19:05,522
You're calling me naive?
392
00:19:06,982 --> 00:19:08,600
Fuck you, Uly!
393
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:10,018
You're just jealous because
I'm going somewhere
394
00:19:10,068 --> 00:19:11,445
and you're not!
395
00:19:18,911 --> 00:19:19,953
CARLY: Fucking shit!
396
00:19:31,715 --> 00:19:32,799
[exasperated sigh]
397
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,504
♪ Destroy everything
you touch today ♪
398
00:19:37,554 --> 00:19:39,548
Why?! Oh, my fucking...
399
00:19:39,598 --> 00:19:42,759
-God!
-♪ Destroy me this way ♪
400
00:19:42,809 --> 00:19:46,763
Oh my... Fuck!
I'm gonna fucking kill myself!
401
00:19:46,813 --> 00:19:49,600
♪ So it cannot hurt you ♪
402
00:19:49,650 --> 00:19:50,976
Hey, Ford?
403
00:19:51,026 --> 00:19:52,686
FORD: Go Away!
404
00:19:52,736 --> 00:19:55,439
♪ You only have to
look behind you ♪
405
00:19:55,489 --> 00:19:58,525
♪ At who's underlined you ♪
406
00:19:58,575 --> 00:20:02,988
♪ Destroy everything
you touch today ♪
407
00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:06,658
♪ Destory me this way ♪
408
00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:10,454
♪ Everything you touch
you don't feel ♪
409
00:20:10,504 --> 00:20:12,089
EMILY: Are you OK?
410
00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:15,250
My vibrator is out
of batteries,
411
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,753
and I just bought
a fucking family pack!
412
00:20:17,803 --> 00:20:20,005
Vibrators come in family packs?
413
00:20:20,055 --> 00:20:22,633
♪ Walks you out of the sun ♪
414
00:20:22,683 --> 00:20:26,511
♪ What you touch,
you don't feel ♪
415
00:20:26,561 --> 00:20:30,265
♪ Do not know what you steal ♪
416
00:20:30,315 --> 00:20:35,062
♪ Destroy everything
you touch today ♪
417
00:20:35,112 --> 00:20:37,939
-♪ Please destroy me this way ♪
- [song fades out]
418
00:20:37,989 --> 00:20:40,242
[phone ringing]
419
00:20:47,833 --> 00:20:49,751
Oh, fuck.
420
00:20:54,548 --> 00:20:56,958
Hey. Hey. Bob, what's up?
421
00:20:57,008 --> 00:21:00,212
No, no. Tonight's my night off.
422
00:21:00,262 --> 00:21:04,257
Huh? No. I'm not...
423
00:21:04,307 --> 00:21:06,727
I'm not feeling so hot myself.
424
00:21:10,772 --> 00:21:12,190
[sighs]
425
00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:15,644
Yeah, all right. Whatever.
426
00:21:15,694 --> 00:21:18,188
[sighs]
427
00:21:18,238 --> 00:21:19,781
Bye.
428
00:21:32,043 --> 00:21:33,912
The fuck?
429
00:21:33,962 --> 00:21:35,706
[knocking]
430
00:21:35,756 --> 00:21:37,257
Come in!
431
00:21:40,051 --> 00:21:41,837
Whoa!
432
00:21:41,887 --> 00:21:44,723
You look like a hot
lady from the past.
433
00:21:45,599 --> 00:21:46,842
Where have you been?
434
00:21:46,892 --> 00:21:49,561
What are you talking about?
I came right over.
435
00:21:51,271 --> 00:21:53,940
You didn't finish
your homework.
436
00:21:56,276 --> 00:21:59,062
Yeah. Sorry about that.
437
00:21:59,112 --> 00:22:01,323
Sit down.
438
00:22:04,326 --> 00:22:06,695
Why did you think...
439
00:22:07,020 --> 00:22:08,959
that it was OK for
you to go out and
440
00:22:09,009 --> 00:22:10,949
play before finishing
your homework?
441
00:22:10,999 --> 00:22:12,709
I, uh...
442
00:22:14,085 --> 00:22:15,295
I don't know.
443
00:22:16,755 --> 00:22:20,008
Do you know what happens
to bad little boys in this house?
444
00:22:21,635 --> 00:22:23,378
-They get spanked?
-That's right.
445
00:22:23,428 --> 00:22:26,214
They get spanked.
446
00:22:26,264 --> 00:22:27,933
Hand me that ruler.
447
00:22:40,779 --> 00:22:43,732
What do you think...
448
00:22:43,782 --> 00:22:47,110
Daddy would say,
if he found out about this?
449
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,863
-Ooh, please don't tell Daddy.
-[slapping noise]
450
00:22:49,913 --> 00:22:51,156
Ahh.
451
00:22:51,206 --> 00:22:52,866
But you leave me no choice.
452
00:22:52,916 --> 00:22:54,701
Don't tell him, please.
I'll do anything.
453
00:22:54,751 --> 00:22:57,954
-[slap]
-Then why didn't you finish your homework?
454
00:22:58,004 --> 00:23:00,382
-Hmm? [slap] Why
don't you ever do...
455
00:23:00,432 --> 00:23:01,208
-[moans]
456
00:23:01,272 --> 00:23:02,737
what Mommy tells you to do?
457
00:23:03,460 --> 00:23:05,879
Why do you always have
to open your big fucking mouth
458
00:23:05,929 --> 00:23:09,132
and say annoying shit that
makes me want to strangle you
459
00:23:09,540 --> 00:23:11,927
-[slap] with an
electric cord?!
-Oh!
460
00:23:11,977 --> 00:23:13,970
-[slap]
-You never
do your homework!
461
00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:16,640
-[slap]
-You constantly make excuses for yourself.
462
00:23:16,690 --> 00:23:19,267
[slap] And then you
wonder why you'll never amount to anything.
463
00:23:19,317 --> 00:23:22,312
You need to get your fucking shit together.
What, you wanna end up
464
00:23:22,362 --> 00:23:24,022
-[slapping intensifies]
-back at Carney's waiting tables
465
00:23:24,072 --> 00:23:25,816
-or some fucking shit?!
-[moaning]
466
00:23:25,866 --> 00:23:27,067
Wait, wait, wait, didn't
you work at Carney's?
467
00:23:27,117 --> 00:23:28,652
-Shut up!
-[slap]
468
00:23:28,702 --> 00:23:30,111
You need to stop being
such a stupid,[slap]
469
00:23:30,161 --> 00:23:31,863
-annoying, [slap]
shithead! [slap]
-[gasps]
470
00:23:31,913 --> 00:23:33,114
Shut up and listen to Mommy!
471
00:23:33,164 --> 00:23:34,783
[intense,
punctuated slapping]
472
00:23:34,833 --> 00:23:38,286
And you need to do your
goddamn, motherfucking homework!
473
00:23:38,336 --> 00:23:40,672
[both panting]
474
00:23:43,187 --> 00:23:44,397
Fuck.
475
00:23:54,660 --> 00:23:56,680
Are you OK, Mommy?
476
00:23:56,730 --> 00:23:58,139
Yes.
477
00:23:58,189 --> 00:24:00,141
Mommy's OK.
478
00:24:00,780 --> 00:24:03,937
I won't tell Daddy
how bad you've been.
479
00:24:03,987 --> 00:24:06,481
But as punishment...
480
00:24:06,843 --> 00:24:10,235
You're gonna have
to make Mommy come, OK?
481
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:11,709
Yes, Mommy.
482
00:24:14,331 --> 00:24:17,075
Like this?
483
00:24:17,125 --> 00:24:20,128
-[sighing]
-Yes, baby, just like that.
484
00:24:21,212 --> 00:24:23,832
Oh, good job, sweetheart.
485
00:24:23,882 --> 00:24:27,719
Fuck, that feels so good,
oh my God. Oh yes!
486
00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:30,889
Yes, that's what Mommy likes!
487
00:24:35,260 --> 00:24:36,895
I was just...
488
00:24:44,778 --> 00:24:46,021
Get back to work, little boy.
489
00:24:46,071 --> 00:24:48,106
Yes, yes Mommy.
Am I doing good?
490
00:24:48,156 --> 00:24:51,359
Ah, yes,
you're doing so good.
491
00:24:51,409 --> 00:24:53,778
Oh, Mommy loves it.
492
00:24:53,828 --> 00:24:57,115
Oh, fuck!
Oh, that feels so good!
493
00:24:57,165 --> 00:24:59,451
Oh, fuck!
Mommy's gonna come!
494
00:24:59,501 --> 00:25:01,953
Oh my god! Fuck!
495
00:25:02,003 --> 00:25:06,967
Oh! Oh, Mommy's coming!
Fuck! Oh!
496
00:26:10,196 --> 00:26:12,365
[panting]
497
00:26:15,535 --> 00:26:17,829
[panting harder]
498
00:26:19,122 --> 00:26:21,416
[moaning]
499
00:26:34,345 --> 00:26:36,464
ULYSSES:
What the fuck is happening?
500
00:26:36,821 --> 00:26:39,300
I posted a thread about
the lightning bolt hieroglyph.
501
00:26:39,350 --> 00:26:41,177
You know,
the one from my dream?
502
00:26:41,227 --> 00:26:44,597
The one that Gabriel
has tattooed on his arm. And it's gone.
503
00:26:44,647 --> 00:26:47,934
U. The moderator probably
just deleted it,
504
00:26:47,984 --> 00:26:50,186
'cause it made
no fucking sense.
505
00:26:50,236 --> 00:26:52,230
Are you doing something
right now? 'Cause it,
506
00:26:52,580 --> 00:26:53,898
it seems like you're
not paying attention.
507
00:26:53,948 --> 00:26:55,442
Yeah. Sorry, I'm, uh,
508
00:26:55,492 --> 00:26:57,360
I'm just editing the footage
that we shot today.
509
00:26:58,100 --> 00:26:59,987
ULYSSES:
Really, you are? How's it going?
510
00:27:00,045 --> 00:27:01,573
Shockingly well.
511
00:27:01,749 --> 00:27:03,221
It actually looks kinda good.
512
00:27:03,780 --> 00:27:06,119
Really? Cool.
513
00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:08,121
CARLY: So, dude,
seriously, you should
514
00:27:08,171 --> 00:27:10,915
maybe consider laying off
the weed for a bit.
515
00:27:11,140 --> 00:27:14,210
You are seething with
existential paranoia as it is.
516
00:27:14,620 --> 00:27:16,546
OK. Thanks, Mom.
517
00:27:16,596 --> 00:27:19,174
I don't mean to nag,
just think about it, OK?
518
00:27:19,224 --> 00:27:21,342
Yeah, all right,
well, I, I gotta...
519
00:27:21,392 --> 00:27:23,636
finish my rounds.
Talk to you later?
520
00:27:23,686 --> 00:27:25,180
CARLY: Love you!
521
00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:27,398
Bye.
522
00:27:28,691 --> 00:27:30,151
[phone beeps]
523
00:27:42,580 --> 00:27:44,532
ULYSSES: Hey!
524
00:27:44,582 --> 00:27:47,043
You're not supposed to be here!
525
00:27:48,294 --> 00:27:49,629
Wait!
526
00:28:10,108 --> 00:28:11,601
Hey!
527
00:28:11,651 --> 00:28:14,062
Stop!
528
00:28:14,112 --> 00:28:15,280
Come back!
[metal clangs]
529
00:28:21,053 --> 00:28:23,122
Aah, oh...no.
530
00:28:29,310 --> 00:28:30,366
Aaah!
531
00:28:30,420 --> 00:28:33,581
♪ Everything you touch
you don't feel ♪
532
00:28:33,631 --> 00:28:37,335
♪ Do not know
what you steal ♪
533
00:28:37,385 --> 00:28:42,215
♪ Destroy everything
you touch today ♪
534
00:28:42,265 --> 00:28:46,186
♪ Please destroy me
this way ♪
38054
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