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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,278 --> 00:00:17,981 NARRATOR: Previously on Now Apocalypse: 2 00:00:18,030 --> 00:00:20,608 She's doing top-secret government work and shit. 3 00:00:20,657 --> 00:00:23,570 From the moment me and Gabriel met there was this supernatural 4 00:00:23,619 --> 00:00:26,239 connection between us, and then he disappears. 5 00:00:26,288 --> 00:00:28,366 My ex Mustafa is in town. 6 00:00:28,415 --> 00:00:30,660 SEVERINE: I'm so relieved we are no longer 7 00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:32,807 -burdened with fear and possessiveness. 8 00:00:32,856 --> 00:00:33,538 -[sobbing] 9 00:00:33,587 --> 00:00:35,168 It's just like we're teetering on 10 00:00:35,217 --> 00:00:36,798 the brink of total annihilation. 11 00:00:42,012 --> 00:00:43,673 I'm been camming online for money. 12 00:00:43,722 --> 00:00:45,557 -Ahh! -Oh, fuck! 13 00:00:46,266 --> 00:00:47,635 I'm going to be reading with you, 14 00:00:47,684 --> 00:00:49,304 so do you have any questions before we get started? 15 00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:51,764 Nope, I uh, I don't think so. 16 00:00:51,813 --> 00:00:52,814 Great. 17 00:00:54,784 --> 00:00:56,529 Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt. 18 00:00:56,579 --> 00:00:57,747 Bad, bad, real bad. 19 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,108 Look, I don't care. 20 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,194 I don't care what happens to me. 21 00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:05,778 Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, okay? 22 00:01:05,827 --> 00:01:08,698 Oh, uh, I'm sorry, did I do something? 23 00:01:08,747 --> 00:01:11,242 No, actually you didn't do anything. 24 00:01:11,291 --> 00:01:13,578 It was just so "natural" that it was putting me to sleep. 25 00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,788 Okay, so let's try it again and actually try acting. 26 00:01:15,837 --> 00:01:18,208 -Okay. -And from the top, okay. 27 00:01:18,257 --> 00:01:20,039 Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt, 28 00:01:20,088 --> 00:01:20,710 bad, bad, real bad. 29 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,087 Look, I don't care! 30 00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:24,923 Okay, I don't care what happens to me! 31 00:01:24,972 --> 00:01:26,508 I'm sorry, are you joking right now? 32 00:01:26,557 --> 00:01:28,593 That was insane, way too much. 33 00:01:28,642 --> 00:01:30,442 -Way too big, okay, let's do it again. 34 00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:31,304 -Oh, sorry, yeah. 35 00:01:31,353 --> 00:01:32,889 -No, no, don't be sorry. -[chuckles nervously] 36 00:01:32,938 --> 00:01:34,682 -Maybe split the difference. -Split the difference. 37 00:01:34,731 --> 00:01:36,601 Find humanity somewhere in between. 38 00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:38,728 -Yeah, okay. -Between like nothing and clown. 39 00:01:38,777 --> 00:01:39,959 -Yes. -Okay, great. 40 00:01:40,008 --> 00:01:41,189 [clears throat] 41 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,102 Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt, 42 00:01:43,151 --> 00:01:43,566 bad, bad, real bad. 43 00:01:43,998 --> 00:01:45,557 Look, I don't care. All right, I don't care 44 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:46,297 what happens to me. 45 00:01:46,368 --> 00:01:48,863 I don't really care what happens to you either. 46 00:01:48,912 --> 00:01:50,602 Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt, 47 00:01:50,651 --> 00:01:51,241 bad, bad, real bad. 48 00:01:51,290 --> 00:01:52,825 I don't care. [voice trembles] 49 00:01:52,874 --> 00:01:54,744 I don't care what happens to me, I jus... 50 00:01:54,793 --> 00:01:56,788 Look, you only go around once in life and... 51 00:01:56,837 --> 00:01:58,665 How about this? Stand up. 52 00:01:59,525 --> 00:02:00,583 Stand up, can you do that? 53 00:02:00,632 --> 00:02:02,544 I don't care. 54 00:02:02,593 --> 00:02:05,672 Look, I don't care what happens to me! 55 00:02:05,721 --> 00:02:07,523 Cassie, if you don't watch out, you're gonna get hurt, 56 00:02:07,573 --> 00:02:08,508 bad, bad, bad, real bad. 57 00:02:08,849 --> 00:02:10,385 I don't care what happens to me. 58 00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:12,637 Look, I just... fuck, what are my lines? 59 00:02:12,686 --> 00:02:14,403 -You only go around once in life, 60 00:02:14,452 --> 00:02:15,515 [mouthing quietly] 61 00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:17,654 And my motto is- 62 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,090 and my motto is that you just gotta go for it. 63 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,853 That was great, thank you so much. 64 00:02:20,902 --> 00:02:21,987 We'll call you. 65 00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:25,649 ♪ This is what you get when you mess with love ♪ 66 00:02:25,699 --> 00:02:27,735 ♪ This is what you get when you mess with... ♪ 67 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,077 ♪ Love ♪ 68 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,873 [grunting] 69 00:02:36,293 --> 00:02:38,496 [moaning] 70 00:02:38,545 --> 00:02:41,048 [grunting] 71 00:02:42,924 --> 00:02:44,718 [crying] 72 00:02:46,845 --> 00:02:49,173 [grunting] 73 00:02:49,222 --> 00:02:51,134 [moaning] 74 00:02:51,183 --> 00:02:53,685 [grunting] 75 00:03:01,902 --> 00:03:04,105 CARLY: Dude, I'm fucking quitting acting. 76 00:03:04,154 --> 00:03:05,773 What are you talking about? 77 00:03:05,822 --> 00:03:07,115 That guy just sounds like an asshole 78 00:03:07,164 --> 00:03:07,817 on his man period. 79 00:03:07,866 --> 00:03:09,944 And I'm sick of being at the mercy of assholes. 80 00:03:09,993 --> 00:03:12,405 It's like I'm the dom, not the sub. 81 00:03:12,454 --> 00:03:15,290 This whole masochism shit is not on brand for me. 82 00:03:19,628 --> 00:03:20,545 Sorry. 83 00:03:21,713 --> 00:03:22,498 What ever happened to that web series 84 00:03:22,547 --> 00:03:23,632 that you were writing? 85 00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:27,545 It's almost done, but so what? 86 00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:29,339 Finish it, and I'll help you film it. 87 00:03:29,388 --> 00:03:31,507 I took a production class in college. 88 00:03:31,556 --> 00:03:33,259 I got a C, but... 89 00:03:33,308 --> 00:03:35,332 So what, you're gonna shoot it on your iPhone or something? 90 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:38,348 Yeah. Come on, come on, it'll be fun. 91 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:41,809 Mmm, famous last words. 92 00:03:41,858 --> 00:03:43,728 I don't know, I mean it would give me 93 00:03:43,777 --> 00:03:46,189 something to focus on besides my non-existent career. 94 00:03:46,238 --> 00:03:48,733 And trolling Craigslist for a new roommate. 95 00:03:48,782 --> 00:03:51,027 How's that going by the way? 96 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:54,489 It is like extras casting for a David Lynch movie. 97 00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:55,706 [chuckles] 98 00:03:56,748 --> 00:03:59,835 [panting and gasping] 99 00:04:14,015 --> 00:04:16,511 CARLY: Dude, that is so beyond the valley of fucked up. 100 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,763 I know, and I'm pathetic enough to text back 101 00:04:18,812 --> 00:04:20,807 at 3 am saying yes, I'll fucking meet you 102 00:04:20,856 --> 00:04:22,141 in the middle of the fucking night. 103 00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:24,060 And so I'm sitting there, like a dotard, 104 00:04:24,109 --> 00:04:26,680 waiting for him to message me where to go, 105 00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:27,980 and the maniac never texts back. 106 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,107 So then what? 107 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:30,858 I fucking fell asleep. 108 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:33,111 And then when I woke up in the morning, 109 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,531 the entire message chain was gone. 110 00:04:37,024 --> 00:04:39,874 Like it never happened, like I dreamt the whole thing. 111 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:41,877 Did you? 112 00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:44,455 Did I what? 113 00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:46,457 Dream the whole thing? 114 00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:49,877 No. I don't think so. 115 00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:51,713 Whatever, the, the take away from all of this, 116 00:04:51,762 --> 00:04:54,549 is that Gabriel's hotness does not outweigh his 117 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,468 pathological flakiness. Right? 118 00:04:57,780 --> 00:05:00,304 Hmm? Yeah, yeah, of course. 119 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,640 Hello Lars, I'm running a little late. 120 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:05,101 Follow protocol and don't take any 121 00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:08,604 bio-genetic samples until I arrive on site. 122 00:05:09,107 --> 00:05:10,108 See you soon. 123 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,745 [tense music] 124 00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:29,341 ♪ 125 00:05:36,223 --> 00:05:39,267 ♪ 126 00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:47,943 [tires screeching] 127 00:05:57,911 --> 00:05:59,079 Hello? 128 00:06:06,127 --> 00:06:07,671 Is anyone there? 129 00:06:15,762 --> 00:06:17,389 Hello? 130 00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,853 [knocking] 131 00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:38,201 [knocking repeats] 132 00:06:48,545 --> 00:06:50,005 [mouthing] Who are you? 133 00:06:59,097 --> 00:07:01,843 Oh, hi. 134 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,803 Sorry, the uh, the doorbell. 135 00:07:03,852 --> 00:07:06,104 Yeah, the-the that doesn't work. 136 00:07:07,772 --> 00:07:10,275 Oh, this must be for my roommate. 137 00:07:19,701 --> 00:07:20,611 All right. 138 00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:25,540 Thanks, Tl-at-uh-lah-ti. 139 00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:28,160 It's Tlayolotl. 140 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:30,288 Mexican indigenous name. 141 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:32,255 Friends just call me T. 142 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,961 [moaning and gasping] 143 00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:39,387 [sexy music] 144 00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:45,303 So, I'm actually looking to fill the room, ASAP, 145 00:07:45,352 --> 00:07:47,096 so it would be great if you could 146 00:07:47,145 --> 00:07:49,557 tell me a little about yourself. 147 00:07:49,606 --> 00:07:52,901 I'm Niall, I'm from Vancouver. 148 00:07:54,569 --> 00:07:57,023 I don't have a job at the moment. 149 00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:01,652 But I have over thirty-two thousand Instagram followers. 150 00:08:01,701 --> 00:08:07,403 So I'm really focusing on trying to monetize that right now. 151 00:08:07,999 --> 00:08:10,202 I spend most of my days lamenting Western imperialism. 152 00:08:10,251 --> 00:08:13,685 My interests include labor strikes, premium grade matcha, 153 00:08:13,739 --> 00:08:15,957 and the downfall of society as we know it. 154 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:18,377 Well, technically I'm pangender, 155 00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,588 which means I'm a member of a vast and diverse 156 00:08:20,637 --> 00:08:23,682 multiplicity of genders that expands infinitely over time. 157 00:08:26,142 --> 00:08:28,804 WOMAN: It's sort of a mix between performance art 158 00:08:28,853 --> 00:08:30,932 and social activism. 159 00:08:30,981 --> 00:08:33,851 I, like, build a red tent and film myself 160 00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:35,853 bleeding in it for a week. 161 00:08:36,340 --> 00:08:39,357 I view my period cramps as a vehicle for purging 162 00:08:39,406 --> 00:08:42,575 collective global and inherited pain. 163 00:08:44,369 --> 00:08:46,447 ULYSSES: So, is this like your thing? 164 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,157 You're like the hot delivery guy 165 00:08:48,206 --> 00:08:50,159 whose life is basically one long, 166 00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:52,078 never-ending porno? 167 00:08:52,127 --> 00:08:55,422 No, no I'm married actually. 168 00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:57,583 Wait, what? 169 00:08:58,060 --> 00:08:59,669 Yeah, and straight. 170 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:01,970 Well, yeah, mostly. 171 00:09:03,596 --> 00:09:07,635 Okay, uh, you don't wear a ring. 172 00:09:07,684 --> 00:09:08,844 Well, you know, I lost so many of them at work, 173 00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:10,562 I just stopped wearing them. 174 00:09:12,814 --> 00:09:14,107 My wife's cool with it. 175 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:17,269 Wait, what? 176 00:09:17,318 --> 00:09:19,105 Oh no, I meant about me not wearing a ring. 177 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:22,525 Oh no, if she found out about... oh, she'd flip. 178 00:09:22,574 --> 00:09:24,659 She's, uh, pretty religious. 179 00:09:26,661 --> 00:09:28,572 Um, are you? 180 00:09:28,621 --> 00:09:30,074 No, not so much. 181 00:09:30,123 --> 00:09:31,993 I mean I was, my dad's a preacher. 182 00:09:32,042 --> 00:09:34,495 -Whoa, shit. -Yeah. 183 00:09:34,544 --> 00:09:37,540 -Really? -Yeah, he would not be pleased. 184 00:09:37,589 --> 00:09:38,958 [chuckles] He's one of these people that thinks 185 00:09:39,007 --> 00:09:40,918 that gay sex causes hurricanes. 186 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:44,547 -Wow, that must suck. -Yeah. 187 00:09:44,596 --> 00:09:47,800 You know, it's all right. I mean, it's not like I do this very often. 188 00:09:47,849 --> 00:09:51,679 It's just sometimes, I meet someone like you, 189 00:09:51,728 --> 00:09:55,891 and uh, you know, shit happens. 190 00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:59,103 Ah, fuck, you are so hot that it's painful. 191 00:09:59,152 --> 00:10:01,738 [laughs] 192 00:10:06,785 --> 00:10:08,529 CARLY: Where is your dick, dude? 193 00:10:08,578 --> 00:10:10,114 Like, literally, it's so small 194 00:10:10,163 --> 00:10:12,241 I can't even fucking see it. 195 00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:14,785 [gasps] 196 00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:18,080 Like, I could fit ten of your dicks in my ass 197 00:10:18,129 --> 00:10:19,999 and not even feel it. 198 00:10:20,048 --> 00:10:22,084 What do you do to jerk-off, do you use your pinkie? 199 00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:24,879 Like this? [laughs] 200 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,422 Let me see you jerk that tiny little nub, 201 00:10:26,471 --> 00:10:28,264 I wanna see if it's even possible. 202 00:10:29,265 --> 00:10:30,634 Oh shit, is that a dick or is that 203 00:10:30,683 --> 00:10:32,595 just an awkwardly large clit? 204 00:10:32,644 --> 00:10:35,014 I mean how many testosterone shots did you have to get 205 00:10:35,063 --> 00:10:36,724 to engorge your clit that much? 206 00:10:36,773 --> 00:10:40,186 I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm too small for you. 207 00:10:40,235 --> 00:10:42,146 Your dick looks like a dot that I saw 208 00:10:42,195 --> 00:10:44,398 under a microscope in my high school biology class. 209 00:10:44,447 --> 00:10:47,526 Like what is that, a molecule of like fucking algae? 210 00:10:47,575 --> 00:10:48,986 -[moans] -Or what? 211 00:10:49,035 --> 00:10:50,870 -Is this right? - Don't talk. 212 00:10:52,122 --> 00:10:53,414 MAN: Just lie there. 213 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,330 I said no blinking! 214 00:10:59,379 --> 00:11:00,790 If you can't keep yourself from blinking, 215 00:11:00,839 --> 00:11:02,792 just shut your eyes. 216 00:11:02,841 --> 00:11:04,759 Sorry. 217 00:11:06,678 --> 00:11:08,923 MAN: Thank you all for joining us tonight. 218 00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,592 I have been leading this circle jerk 219 00:11:11,641 --> 00:11:15,679 for two years now and I deeply believe 220 00:11:15,728 --> 00:11:18,599 that being able to talk about sex 221 00:11:18,648 --> 00:11:20,434 in the company of other men can be 222 00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:23,813 a very powerful healing experience. 223 00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:27,149 First off, please introduce yourself 224 00:11:27,198 --> 00:11:31,570 and share a few words about what you're feeling at this moment. 225 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:38,369 I'll go first. I'm Neil, and I'm feeling pumped up about tonight. 226 00:11:38,418 --> 00:11:41,872 I'm Tony, I'm kind of nervous, 227 00:11:41,921 --> 00:11:44,959 but I'm really honored to be a part of this. 228 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:49,171 Yo, I'm George, I feel a little uncomfortable. 229 00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:51,549 Think I maybe got a sunburn earlier. [chuckles] 230 00:11:51,598 --> 00:11:53,676 Other than that though, I'm totally stoked to be here 231 00:11:53,725 --> 00:11:55,469 and I'm really hoping to connect. 232 00:11:55,518 --> 00:11:59,355 So is this anyone's first time to circle jerk? 233 00:12:03,106 --> 00:12:06,999 Oh ho, virgins! Just joking, guys. 234 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,524 Welcome. 235 00:12:08,852 --> 00:12:09,853 EVERYONE: Welcome. 236 00:12:15,371 --> 00:12:16,331 Stop it. 237 00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:19,618 I'm uh, I'm uh Ulysses, 238 00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:22,955 EVERYONE: Hi, Ulysses. 239 00:12:23,004 --> 00:12:26,007 Um, this is my first time doing something like this. 240 00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:31,589 Yeah no, that's it. Yeah, that's it. 241 00:12:31,638 --> 00:12:34,550 Well, we're thrilled to have you here, Ulysses. 242 00:12:35,050 --> 00:12:36,385 Both of you. 243 00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:40,723 And just so you know, we're very open-minded here. 244 00:12:40,772 --> 00:12:41,724 Aren't we Tony? 245 00:12:41,773 --> 00:12:42,774 Wide open. 246 00:12:44,313 --> 00:12:46,812 Yeah, so uh, I'm Ford and I'm like 247 00:12:46,861 --> 00:12:48,689 super-excited to be here for a while now 248 00:12:48,738 --> 00:12:51,275 I've been just feeling um just totally bummed 249 00:12:51,324 --> 00:12:54,452 and really confused because... [sighs] 250 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,282 I really love my girlfriend. 251 00:12:59,332 --> 00:13:02,912 It's all right, Ford. This is a safe space. 252 00:13:02,961 --> 00:13:05,588 Go on, just let it all out. 253 00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:11,503 So I know it's old school, but I feel like Severine... 254 00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:15,799 that's my girlfriend, and as I honestly, I feel like 255 00:13:15,848 --> 00:13:16,975 she could be my soulmate. 256 00:13:18,983 --> 00:13:20,429 Don't you think so? 257 00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:23,057 Yeah, yup. 258 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,359 Anyway, it's like our bodies, they just fit together, you know? 259 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:34,285 But it-it's... God, it's so hard for me to even say it. 260 00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:36,590 It's okay, man. 261 00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:40,272 Yeah, Ford, we're here for you and we all support you. 262 00:13:40,331 --> 00:13:45,371 Oh yes, we think it's amazingly brave of you to come out 263 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:49,048 and express your feelings with such honesty. 264 00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:52,760 Thanks, guys that... 265 00:13:53,636 --> 00:13:55,547 It really means a lot. 266 00:13:55,596 --> 00:13:58,926 Well, speaking your truth, Ford, is not easy. 267 00:13:58,975 --> 00:14:01,553 But you should never be ashamed of who you are 268 00:14:01,602 --> 00:14:03,430 or what you desire. 269 00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:04,897 I know, right? 270 00:14:06,774 --> 00:14:09,186 Maybe I'm old-fashioned. 271 00:14:09,235 --> 00:14:10,896 You know, maybe I, I just want things to go back 272 00:14:10,945 --> 00:14:12,273 to how they were in the good old days, 273 00:14:12,322 --> 00:14:13,732 like maybe I just want to sleep 274 00:14:13,781 --> 00:14:15,867 with one woman at a time! 275 00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:18,411 MAN: What? Did he just say?.. 276 00:14:22,123 --> 00:14:24,910 Yeah, maybe I can clarify what's happened here. 277 00:14:25,007 --> 00:14:26,259 Um, we're not. 278 00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:30,582 I mean, I am, but, but, but, Ford is not. 279 00:14:30,631 --> 00:14:33,335 Oh? Oh! 280 00:14:33,384 --> 00:14:34,594 MEN: Oh! 281 00:14:37,138 --> 00:14:39,174 [whispers] What is he talking about? 282 00:14:39,223 --> 00:14:40,641 I'll tell you in the car. 283 00:14:47,732 --> 00:14:48,858 [door shuts] 284 00:14:52,153 --> 00:14:54,064 [alarm beeps] 285 00:14:54,113 --> 00:14:56,657 [keys clink] 286 00:15:37,407 --> 00:15:38,449 [sighs] 287 00:15:41,121 --> 00:15:43,605 FORD: At first, non-monogamy seemed fun. 288 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,450 Like we had a cool threesome with this terrorist lady, 289 00:15:46,499 --> 00:15:50,711 and afterward my girlfriend and I felt so connected. 290 00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:55,667 But then, right after that she told me 291 00:15:55,716 --> 00:15:56,835 she slept with her ex. 292 00:15:56,884 --> 00:15:59,129 [all gasp] 293 00:15:59,573 --> 00:16:04,218 And I thought, I can't be mad, right? 294 00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:05,636 I signed up for this. 295 00:16:05,685 --> 00:16:07,221 But I do feel mad. 296 00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:09,348 Is my brain wrong for feeling this way? 297 00:16:09,397 --> 00:16:12,434 No, Ford, your brain's not wrong. 298 00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:14,520 That's fucked up, yo. 299 00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:16,605 You gotta talk that shit out. 300 00:16:16,654 --> 00:16:18,607 I'm not saying put that bitch on a leash, 301 00:16:18,656 --> 00:16:21,443 but at least install some invisible fencing, you know? 302 00:16:21,492 --> 00:16:25,280 We refrain from using derogatory words like bitch here. 303 00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:27,783 But I have to agree with George. 304 00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:29,868 This is a situation where it's important 305 00:16:29,917 --> 00:16:32,454 to have an open conversation with your partner. 306 00:16:32,503 --> 00:16:37,084 Can you say to her, "When you slept with your ex it hurt me?" 307 00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:41,713 Yeah, Ford, men have feelings too. 308 00:16:41,762 --> 00:16:44,800 EVERYONE: Men have feelings too. 309 00:16:44,849 --> 00:16:47,094 Men have feelings too. 310 00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:50,722 Men have feelings too. 311 00:16:50,771 --> 00:16:53,142 Men having feelings too. 312 00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:55,936 Men have feelings too! 313 00:16:56,380 --> 00:17:00,232 ALL TOGETHER: Men have feelings too! 314 00:17:00,281 --> 00:17:01,942 [upbeat music] 315 00:17:01,991 --> 00:17:03,444 ALL TOGETHER: Men have feelings too! 316 00:17:03,493 --> 00:17:06,280 Can you angle me down a little bit? 317 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,821 Uh, yeah, sure, okay. 318 00:17:09,957 --> 00:17:11,034 Okay. 319 00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:12,251 Wow. Perfect. 320 00:17:13,669 --> 00:17:15,213 You look so hot. 321 00:17:16,005 --> 00:17:19,001 Oh, thank you, um, by the way I uh, 322 00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:21,211 I've never done this before, I mean, 323 00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:24,673 like for an audience, obviously, so... 324 00:17:24,722 --> 00:17:26,390 I feel so honored. 325 00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:30,429 All right, Worm, you ready? 326 00:17:30,478 --> 00:17:31,430 WORM: Very. 327 00:17:31,479 --> 00:17:34,732 Okay, here goes. 328 00:17:37,902 --> 00:17:39,111 [sighing] 329 00:17:39,779 --> 00:17:41,030 Hold on, it's almost there. 330 00:17:43,908 --> 00:17:46,612 C'mon baby, show me that wet pink flower. 331 00:17:46,661 --> 00:17:49,281 Okay, shh, I'm trying to focus, hold on. 332 00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:50,414 Sorry. 333 00:17:52,291 --> 00:17:55,078 Fuck, you're making me pee shy. 334 00:17:55,127 --> 00:17:57,122 Sorry, is there anything I can do to help? 335 00:17:57,171 --> 00:17:59,249 Yeah, can you just like uh, I don't know, 336 00:17:59,298 --> 00:18:00,584 like look away for a second? 337 00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:02,211 Uh, where am I supposed to look? 338 00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:04,213 Lo-look anywhere else, Worm, just... 339 00:18:04,262 --> 00:18:06,423 I don't know, close your eyes for a minute. 340 00:18:06,472 --> 00:18:07,473 Okay. 341 00:18:10,851 --> 00:18:13,347 Okay, okay, it's coming, open your eyes. 342 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:14,723 Open your eyes. 343 00:18:14,772 --> 00:18:16,850 -Ooh, yeah... -[urinating] 344 00:18:16,899 --> 00:18:18,101 -you like that? -Oh yeah. 345 00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:19,277 It's getting everywhere. 346 00:18:19,986 --> 00:18:22,272 Oh, wow, such a powerful stream. 347 00:18:22,321 --> 00:18:24,525 Yeah, you like that you little pee-slut? 348 00:18:24,574 --> 00:18:29,203 Oh, yeah, I love it, I love it, oh fuck. 349 00:18:29,704 --> 00:18:31,323 Do you know how much I want to taste your 350 00:18:31,372 --> 00:18:35,035 -hot, sweet, golden nectar? -[moaning] 351 00:18:35,084 --> 00:18:37,913 Oh, baby, I want to drink your warm cocktail. 352 00:18:37,962 --> 00:18:39,998 If I was lucky enough to be lie beneath you, 353 00:18:40,047 --> 00:18:42,125 I wouldn't waste a drop. 354 00:18:42,174 --> 00:18:46,846 Yeah, that is some precious urine right there. 355 00:18:48,014 --> 00:18:50,926 So, I like, I went to this meeting tonight. 356 00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:53,845 It was like a bunch of guys hanging out, 357 00:18:53,894 --> 00:18:57,224 shooting the shit, yeah sort of like a locker room, 358 00:18:57,273 --> 00:18:59,442 except less moldy smelling and nobody gets naked. 359 00:19:01,027 --> 00:19:03,855 But in a way, you do. 360 00:19:03,904 --> 00:19:06,358 -You mean a support group? -Yeah, I guess? 361 00:19:06,407 --> 00:19:10,529 Ah, this guy George describes it as a male coven, 362 00:19:10,578 --> 00:19:12,705 which I guess is a type of stove. 363 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:15,826 But, it was really cool 364 00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:18,203 because I basically learned that feelings 365 00:19:18,252 --> 00:19:19,587 aren't just a girl thing. 366 00:19:21,749 --> 00:19:26,294 Anyway, I have something I need to tell you. 367 00:19:26,344 --> 00:19:29,597 Just wait, I need to get my sponsor on the phone. 368 00:19:38,856 --> 00:19:42,531 Yo, I'm just available for support, if needed. 369 00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:44,166 Uh, what is this? 370 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:46,481 That's George. 371 00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,950 Okay, Ford, go ahead, I got you, dawg. 372 00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:58,327 Sev, when you slept with your ex-boyfriend 373 00:19:58,376 --> 00:20:01,369 Mustafa, it made me feel really bad... 374 00:20:02,580 --> 00:20:04,291 and really sad. 375 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,255 I don't want to control you, because I know 376 00:20:06,304 --> 00:20:07,169 you totally hate that, 377 00:20:07,218 --> 00:20:09,329 but I also don't want to be in a relationship 378 00:20:09,379 --> 00:20:11,881 that makes me feel like I constantly have side cramps. 379 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:17,346 Ford, you know I believe that monogamy is 380 00:20:17,395 --> 00:20:19,811 an arbitrary cage forced upon us by 381 00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:22,274 the miserable capitalist patriarchy. 382 00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,437 However, I do care for you very much, 383 00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:30,122 so I'm sorry if my actions have inspired any negative 384 00:20:30,171 --> 00:20:31,943 feelings on your part. 385 00:20:31,992 --> 00:20:34,154 You are? Really? 386 00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:35,204 Yes. 387 00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,290 Oh God, that's so beautiful. 388 00:20:42,380 --> 00:20:43,580 How about this? 389 00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:44,998 If we want to be with another person, 390 00:20:45,047 --> 00:20:46,757 we can do it together. 391 00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:52,172 Wow, y-you'd be okay with that? 392 00:20:52,221 --> 00:20:54,049 For now, yes. 393 00:20:54,098 --> 00:20:56,142 We can think of this as an incubation period. 394 00:20:59,380 --> 00:21:00,138 That sounds awesome. 395 00:21:00,580 --> 00:21:02,391 Uh, right George? 396 00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:06,610 Hell yeah, fantastic progress guys! [laughs] 397 00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:10,649 Oh and I just want to say, if you're looking for 398 00:21:10,698 --> 00:21:15,578 a volunteer to help you, you know, explore... 399 00:21:16,036 --> 00:21:18,865 If the earth was ravaged by a nuclear war 400 00:21:18,914 --> 00:21:23,453 and you were the last man alive, I still wouldn't fuck you. 401 00:21:24,020 --> 00:21:24,670 [phone beeps] 402 00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:33,463 I still have some work I need to finish. 403 00:21:33,512 --> 00:21:35,048 Okay, all right. 404 00:21:35,097 --> 00:21:37,050 I'll join you in the bedroom in a bit. 405 00:21:37,099 --> 00:21:40,936 Mm, okay, yeah, I'll uh, keep your side of the bed warm. 406 00:21:43,008 --> 00:21:47,342 That's not really necessary, but thank you. 407 00:21:50,740 --> 00:21:53,734 CARLY: That's fucking Crayola. 408 00:21:53,783 --> 00:21:55,819 The guy literally came like eight times, 409 00:21:55,868 --> 00:21:59,531 it was unreal, and needless to say, odd as fuck. 410 00:21:59,820 --> 00:22:02,117 No, it's biologically impossible. 411 00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:04,244 I was there, I counted. 412 00:22:04,660 --> 00:22:06,580 So what, the dude just like waltzes in, 413 00:22:06,629 --> 00:22:09,583 nuts eight times and then hops back in his 414 00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:11,501 little delivery truck and finishes his route? 415 00:22:11,940 --> 00:22:13,253 Pretty much. 416 00:22:13,420 --> 00:22:15,213 I know this sounds super un-PC but there's 417 00:22:15,262 --> 00:22:16,923 something so hot about guys on the DL. 418 00:22:16,972 --> 00:22:19,468 It's like, they're so repressed and then when 419 00:22:19,517 --> 00:22:22,137 they finally get some it's like this great deluge. 420 00:22:22,186 --> 00:22:24,222 Of cum, apparently. 421 00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:27,434 [laughs] Yeah. 422 00:22:27,483 --> 00:22:30,520 Oh my God, dude, are you fucking stoned right now? 423 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,324 Maybe I smoked a little bit before my shift, yeah. 424 00:22:33,860 --> 00:22:35,567 Do they not drug test you? 425 00:22:35,616 --> 00:22:38,195 Only when I applied, and I had Ford pee in a cup for me. 426 00:22:38,244 --> 00:22:40,322 Speaking of pee... 427 00:22:40,580 --> 00:22:41,622 Oh my God, what? 428 00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:49,748 I'm sorry, Ford, but I'm quite tired. 429 00:22:50,126 --> 00:22:52,577 Oh, okay. 430 00:22:54,794 --> 00:22:56,386 [bed squeaks] 431 00:23:03,519 --> 00:23:06,640 I really appreciate you sharing your feelings 432 00:23:06,689 --> 00:23:09,358 so honestly and openly. 433 00:23:12,346 --> 00:23:14,577 Let's just cuddle instead. 434 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:16,713 [sighs] 435 00:23:18,826 --> 00:23:22,280 Do you know what? L-let's just have sex. 436 00:23:22,329 --> 00:23:25,158 But I thought you weren't in the mood? 437 00:23:25,207 --> 00:23:28,627 Of the options presented, it's the most agreeable. 438 00:23:30,301 --> 00:23:31,302 Cool. 439 00:23:38,420 --> 00:23:40,382 [Severine grunts] 440 00:23:40,431 --> 00:23:45,394 Actually, why don't you just lie back and relax? 441 00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:49,398 Oh, all right. 442 00:24:02,740 --> 00:24:04,489 Ooh, fuck... 443 00:24:04,538 --> 00:24:10,098 [gasps] Oh my God, it feels... so good. 444 00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:18,002 Oh, oh, Sev, oh, I love you. 445 00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:19,970 Oh, I love you! 446 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:23,098 Oh, I love you so much. 447 00:24:24,183 --> 00:24:26,887 Oh, oh I love you! 448 00:24:26,936 --> 00:24:28,763 Oh, I love you. 449 00:24:28,812 --> 00:24:33,233 Oh I love you, I love you, I love you, ahhh! 450 00:24:35,277 --> 00:24:37,363 [grunts, moans] 451 00:24:41,243 --> 00:24:43,827 Oh, oh, oh my God, that felt amazing. 452 00:24:47,460 --> 00:24:49,117 Do you want to come too? 453 00:24:49,166 --> 00:24:50,584 No thank you. 454 00:24:51,820 --> 00:24:54,088 [Ford sighs] 455 00:24:56,715 --> 00:24:57,883 Goodnight. 456 00:25:00,638 --> 00:25:02,930 Uh, well... 457 00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:06,350 thanks. 458 00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:25,411 Holy mother. 459 00:25:27,663 --> 00:25:29,581 Babe, babe, babe, babe, wake up, wake up. 460 00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:33,912 Oh my God, Sev I- you're not gonna believe this. 461 00:25:33,961 --> 00:25:35,455 What? What is it? 462 00:25:35,820 --> 00:25:37,332 Barnabus just invited us to this huge, 463 00:25:37,381 --> 00:25:42,344 kick-ass party this weekend. In Palm Springs. 464 00:25:43,180 --> 00:25:44,422 What are you talking about? 465 00:25:44,471 --> 00:25:46,091 One of his buddies, this dude Thor Goswell, 466 00:25:46,140 --> 00:25:48,051 who's like this hot shit CAA agent, 467 00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:50,637 has a giant mansion out there and it's his birthday, 468 00:25:50,780 --> 00:25:52,889 and everybody who is anybody is gonna be there. 469 00:25:52,938 --> 00:25:54,898 -That sounds... -Off the fricking hook. 470 00:25:56,859 --> 00:25:59,145 Oh shit, what are you doing this weekend? 471 00:25:59,194 --> 00:26:01,314 Masturbating, why? 472 00:26:01,363 --> 00:26:03,525 Feel like going to Palm Springs? 473 00:26:03,873 --> 00:26:04,876 What? 474 00:26:04,926 --> 00:26:06,962 Ford just texted and asked if we want to 475 00:26:07,077 --> 00:26:08,738 go to Palm Springs for the weekend with him 476 00:26:08,787 --> 00:26:11,783 and Severine and stay at the Jacobs, for free, 477 00:26:11,832 --> 00:26:15,328 courtesy of that creepy benefactor dude of his. 478 00:26:15,377 --> 00:26:17,963 -Fuck you. -Serious. 479 00:26:20,239 --> 00:26:21,668 Fuck you. 480 00:26:21,717 --> 00:26:23,420 Is that a fuck you yes or like a fuck you, 481 00:26:23,469 --> 00:26:25,171 I hate Palm Springs? 482 00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:26,805 Fuck you! 483 00:26:28,682 --> 00:26:31,018 [screams] 484 00:26:32,688 --> 00:26:33,855 Dude, what was that? 485 00:26:36,740 --> 00:26:37,392 Hello? 486 00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:40,527 Hey, um... 487 00:26:43,513 --> 00:26:44,556 I don't know. 488 00:26:46,033 --> 00:26:49,078 [louder screams] Oh God! Oh God! 489 00:26:52,060 --> 00:26:53,999 Yeah, um... 490 00:26:55,895 --> 00:26:59,797 I'm gonna have to... call you back. 491 00:27:00,964 --> 00:27:02,917 Okay, just be careful. 492 00:27:02,966 --> 00:27:05,628 I gotta... I... I'm gonna call you back. 493 00:27:05,677 --> 00:27:06,762 [tablet beeps] 494 00:27:11,225 --> 00:27:14,186 [chair creaks] 495 00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:24,113 Hello? 496 00:27:28,158 --> 00:27:31,078 [ominous music] 497 00:27:51,932 --> 00:27:54,143 [thudding] 498 00:27:57,020 --> 00:27:59,182 You can't be here. 499 00:27:59,231 --> 00:28:00,232 You... 500 00:28:02,651 --> 00:28:03,944 you have to go. 501 00:28:08,140 --> 00:28:08,824 Please? 502 00:28:28,635 --> 00:28:30,554 [tense string music] 503 00:28:37,180 --> 00:28:41,481 [fast, frantic music] 504 00:29:00,918 --> 00:29:03,921 ♪ 35908

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