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[Ulysses Voiceover]
I've always had a simultaneous fear of,
2
00:00:21,373 --> 00:00:23,250
and attraction toward,
the unknown.
3
00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:27,162
And in these fucking
dark and scary times,
4
00:00:27,212 --> 00:00:28,974
it's easy to adopt a "What
5
00:00:29,024 --> 00:00:31,542
difference does
it make?" attitude.
6
00:00:31,592 --> 00:00:34,545
So I often find myself
in these situations
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00:00:34,595 --> 00:00:39,550
where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.
8
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,679
And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.
9
00:00:43,729 --> 00:00:45,597
-No!
-It's not like I'm brave
10
00:00:45,647 --> 00:00:50,611
or anything, it's more
reckless stupidity,
11
00:00:51,945 --> 00:00:54,314
an adrenaline fix,
12
00:00:54,364 --> 00:00:58,035
throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.
13
00:01:04,205 --> 00:01:06,783
No!
14
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:07,918
Help me!
15
00:01:08,813 --> 00:01:11,065
[ man groans ]
16
00:01:12,243 --> 00:01:14,821
[ screams ]
17
00:01:14,872 --> 00:01:16,031
[ Ulysses grunting ]
18
00:01:16,082 --> 00:01:19,077
Harder!
Harder!
19
00:01:19,556 --> 00:01:20,507
-[ door thuds ]
-Dave?
20
00:01:20,557 --> 00:01:21,592
Oh, shit!
21
00:01:21,642 --> 00:01:22,676
My husband's home!
22
00:01:22,726 --> 00:01:24,720
Oh, shit.
23
00:01:24,770 --> 00:01:26,396
[ stammers ]
What should I do?
24
00:01:28,649 --> 00:01:30,309
DAVE'S HUSBAND:
Dave, where are you?!
25
00:01:30,359 --> 00:01:33,228
DAVE: In here, babe.
26
00:01:33,278 --> 00:01:34,905
-[Ulysses yelps]
-[loud thud]
27
00:01:46,625 --> 00:01:48,410
[Ulysses Voiceover] So yeah,
I realized that one day
28
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:50,412
these crazy adventures
will probably get me
29
00:01:50,462 --> 00:01:53,090
into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.
30
00:01:55,634 --> 00:01:57,794
But it's almost like
I can't help myself.
31
00:01:57,844 --> 00:02:00,119
["Star Roving" by Slowdive]
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00:02:01,905 --> 00:02:05,284
I do shit sometimes and
I really don't know why.
33
00:02:07,902 --> 00:02:09,571
To avoid boredom, I guess.
34
00:02:11,443 --> 00:02:12,569
To feel alive.
35
00:02:14,486 --> 00:02:16,947
Just for the fucking
fuck of it.
36
00:02:31,377 --> 00:02:35,665
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
37
00:02:35,716 --> 00:02:40,637
♪ Can't hold down tonight ♪
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00:02:57,571 --> 00:03:00,440
[panting]
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00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:01,575
Ah.
40
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,210
Sorry, dude.
41
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:07,584
Whatever.
42
00:03:08,568 --> 00:03:11,104
Hey, Severine.
43
00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:13,517
I thought you were
sleeping out tonight.
44
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,320
Yeah, uh, I'm not.
45
00:03:18,184 --> 00:03:20,979
Anyhoo, please, continue.
46
00:03:22,188 --> 00:03:23,473
Goodnight, Ulysses.
47
00:03:23,523 --> 00:03:25,183
Goodnight.
48
00:03:25,233 --> 00:03:28,102
Night, dude.
49
00:03:28,152 --> 00:03:31,990
ULYSSES: So, Ford and I have
a sort of strange relationship.
50
00:03:32,282 --> 00:03:35,944
We've been roommates
since college
51
00:03:35,994 --> 00:03:39,197
and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.
52
00:03:39,247 --> 00:03:41,783
I love him unconditionally
53
00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:45,537
and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule
54
00:03:45,587 --> 00:03:47,330
in his body, we'd
probably be married,
55
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:51,334
but Ford's that truly
rare Kinsey zero
56
00:03:51,384 --> 00:03:54,212
in contrast to my
ever oscillating four,
57
00:03:54,262 --> 00:03:56,339
which means I'm not
so totally queer
58
00:03:56,389 --> 00:04:00,051
that I haven't rubbed out a
few fantasizing about Severine.
59
00:04:00,101 --> 00:04:03,346
Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,
60
00:04:03,396 --> 00:04:06,849
which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.
61
00:04:06,899 --> 00:04:08,726
It's definitely not a vlog.
62
00:04:08,776 --> 00:04:12,146
It's more of a place to
download the random shit
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00:04:12,196 --> 00:04:15,608
that's in my head to keep it
from like [lips pop]exploding.
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00:04:15,658 --> 00:04:19,862
Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,
65
00:04:19,912 --> 00:04:22,574
but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered
66
00:04:22,624 --> 00:04:25,076
that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing
67
00:04:25,126 --> 00:04:26,828
I could do with my life.
68
00:04:26,878 --> 00:04:29,122
And Ford is that
sad LA cliché,
69
00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:31,207
an aspiring screenwriter.
70
00:04:31,257 --> 00:04:34,335
But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.
71
00:04:34,385 --> 00:04:38,256
It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.
72
00:04:38,306 --> 00:04:40,633
And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,
73
00:04:40,683 --> 00:04:42,760
all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,
74
00:04:42,810 --> 00:04:44,512
so lacking a better outlet,
75
00:04:44,562 --> 00:04:49,484
here I am talking to
myself in the dark.
76
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,543
But also, there's
something weird going on
77
00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:05,848
that I feel I need to document.
78
00:05:09,962 --> 00:05:11,623
I've been having this nightmare,
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00:05:11,673 --> 00:05:13,791
the same one over and over,
80
00:05:13,841 --> 00:05:16,044
two or three times a
week for the past month.
81
00:05:16,094 --> 00:05:17,093
MAN: No!
82
00:05:17,144 --> 00:05:19,090
[Ulysses Voiceover] And it's
so vivid and freakishly real
83
00:05:19,514 --> 00:05:23,051
that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like
84
00:05:23,101 --> 00:05:24,886
it's not just a dream,
85
00:05:24,936 --> 00:05:28,097
like it's trying to
tell me something.
86
00:05:28,147 --> 00:05:31,225
Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?
87
00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:32,805
Carly, I'm being serious.
88
00:05:32,856 --> 00:05:35,017
Don't you ever get
bizarre premonitions?
89
00:05:35,363 --> 00:05:39,233
-No.
-Well, I do and I'ma double Scorpio.
90
00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:41,194
It's the most psychic
of all the signs.
91
00:05:41,244 --> 00:05:44,155
And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.
92
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:47,371
It's like we're teetering on
the brink of total annihilation.
93
00:05:48,054 --> 00:05:50,745
CARLY: Okay, well, that's
every fucking day now
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00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,331
in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.
95
00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:56,988
But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?
96
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,087
-Gabriel.
-Mm.
97
00:05:59,137 --> 00:06:01,506
Yeah. We were supposed to hang
out last night, but...
98
00:06:01,556 --> 00:06:05,843
Oh, let me guess, he flaked.
99
00:06:05,992 --> 00:06:10,645
Hey, look, this guy's
a gnarly 300-pound catfish.
100
00:06:10,846 --> 00:06:12,892
That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.
101
00:06:12,942 --> 00:06:14,046
Look, check it out.
102
00:06:14,097 --> 00:06:16,656
-Oh. He is pretty.
-Right?
103
00:06:17,071 --> 00:06:19,292
I know it sounds hokey, but
I just get this vibe that we're
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00:06:19,342 --> 00:06:20,066
destined to be.
105
00:06:20,116 --> 00:06:22,068
Okay, double Scorpio.
106
00:06:22,118 --> 00:06:25,405
Honestly, just looking at
him makes me dizzy and hard.
107
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:27,031
You know, when I
first met Jethro,
108
00:06:27,081 --> 00:06:29,534
seeing him sneeze
would make me cum,
109
00:06:29,584 --> 00:06:32,453
but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,
110
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:38,478
Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers...
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00:06:38,808 --> 00:06:40,628
Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.
112
00:06:40,678 --> 00:06:41,629
-What?
-[Jethro moans]
113
00:06:41,679 --> 00:06:42,797
Teach me!
114
00:06:42,847 --> 00:06:45,007
Is that something you
got from a bad porno?
115
00:06:45,057 --> 00:06:46,259
Oh, come on, baby!
116
00:06:46,309 --> 00:06:48,177
Yeah, teach me how
to drive you wild!
117
00:06:48,437 --> 00:06:49,498
Yes, baby!
118
00:06:49,549 --> 00:06:50,791
Make me a student!
119
00:06:51,063 --> 00:06:53,057
I'm a vessel for your pleasure!
120
00:06:53,107 --> 00:06:54,183
-[groans]
-Yeah!
121
00:06:54,233 --> 00:06:55,935
Ah, teach me, baby!
122
00:06:55,985 --> 00:06:57,019
-Come on, yeah!
-Can you just slow down
123
00:06:57,069 --> 00:06:58,438
a little bit, please?!
124
00:06:58,488 --> 00:06:59,783
Teach me, baby!
Teach me!
125
00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:01,744
-Oh, shit.
-And it gets worse.
126
00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:05,230
He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.
127
00:07:05,369 --> 00:07:07,113
But meditating
gives you anxiety.
128
00:07:07,163 --> 00:07:09,031
Yeah, I know.
129
00:07:09,081 --> 00:07:11,284
It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,
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00:07:11,334 --> 00:07:14,662
is just a blank
void of nothingness.
131
00:07:14,712 --> 00:07:17,123
-[phone buzzes]
-[Carly sighs]
132
00:07:17,173 --> 00:07:18,750
Is it the catfish?
133
00:07:18,874 --> 00:07:20,202
Oh, shit, really?
What'd he say?
134
00:07:20,718 --> 00:07:22,420
That he wants to meet tonight.
135
00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:26,215
Okay, well, my advice,
set the bar low.
136
00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:28,726
Very low.
137
00:07:30,853 --> 00:07:34,974
♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪
138
00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:39,979
♪ Oh, and I won't, and I
won't, and I won't be ashamed ♪
139
00:07:40,029 --> 00:07:42,774
♪ Sanctify my sins
when I pray ♪
140
00:07:42,824 --> 00:07:46,277
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
141
00:07:46,327 --> 00:07:51,165
-♪ When I pray ♪
-♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
142
00:07:51,916 --> 00:07:54,535
♪ You'll find redemption ♪
143
00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:55,670
Hey.
144
00:07:56,755 --> 00:07:58,915
How's the script coming?
145
00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:01,042
I've seen you here before.
146
00:08:01,092 --> 00:08:02,093
Oh.
147
00:08:03,135 --> 00:08:04,754
It's going great.
148
00:08:04,804 --> 00:08:06,005
You a writer too?
149
00:08:06,055 --> 00:08:07,056
No.
150
00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:08,642
Actually, I'm a producer.
151
00:08:08,693 --> 00:08:12,147
Oh, no shit.
Cool.
152
00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:14,647
You should send me
one of your scripts.
153
00:08:16,826 --> 00:08:18,621
-For real?
-Yes.
154
00:08:19,102 --> 00:08:21,998
You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.
155
00:08:23,906 --> 00:08:25,775
Email me.
156
00:08:25,825 --> 00:08:27,527
Oh, wow.
157
00:08:27,577 --> 00:08:30,071
Okay, Mr. Powers.
158
00:08:30,121 --> 00:08:33,082
Please. Barnabas.
159
00:08:36,855 --> 00:08:38,620
Ford.
Ford Halstead.
160
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,541
Great to meet you, Ford.
161
00:08:42,335 --> 00:08:43,918
Well, I'll let you
get back to work.
162
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,095
Cool!
I'll email you.
163
00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,297
Looking forward to it.
164
00:08:56,689 --> 00:08:59,317
[phone chiming]
165
00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:08,242
MAN: They keep fucking me.
166
00:09:10,140 --> 00:09:10,995
I tell them no,
167
00:09:12,038 --> 00:09:13,990
but they keep fucking me.
168
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,333
They keep fucking me!
169
00:09:16,384 --> 00:09:17,285
Fucking me!
170
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,625
And they won't stop.
171
00:09:23,940 --> 00:09:26,928
Please, make them stop.
172
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:30,376
Make them stop.
173
00:09:51,118 --> 00:09:53,112
Severine Bordeaux.
174
00:09:53,162 --> 00:09:54,622
[scanner beeps]
175
00:10:14,684 --> 00:10:16,310
Hello, Severine.
176
00:10:17,947 --> 00:10:19,490
Lars.
Klaus.
177
00:10:21,008 --> 00:10:22,960
Looks like I didn't
miss anything.
178
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:25,478
Yes, the man is
running late as usual.
179
00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:27,471
I think they keep us
waiting on purpose,
180
00:10:27,521 --> 00:10:28,606
to build anticipation.
181
00:10:28,656 --> 00:10:30,743
And to make our work
seem even more highly
182
00:10:30,793 --> 00:10:31,901
classified than it is.
183
00:10:31,951 --> 00:10:34,153
Actually, I heard
this new assignment
184
00:10:34,203 --> 00:10:36,414
is a genuine
priority level one.
185
00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:38,567
Really?
186
00:10:38,791 --> 00:10:40,001
Who told you this?
187
00:10:40,876 --> 00:10:42,119
[Severine sighs]
188
00:10:42,169 --> 00:10:44,797
If I revealed my sources,
I'd have to kill you.
189
00:10:46,841 --> 00:10:48,968
[groans]
190
00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:53,506
I don't know, Uly.
191
00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:56,509
Sometimes a dream
is just a dream.
192
00:10:56,940 --> 00:11:01,397
Yeah, but then, but then
sometimes, sometimes it's more.
193
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:04,830
Dude, do you remember that
time you were so convinced an
194
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:05,893
earthquake was coming?
195
00:11:05,943 --> 00:11:07,561
You went out, you
bought a bunch of soup
196
00:11:07,611 --> 00:11:09,647
and water and batteries?
197
00:11:09,697 --> 00:11:10,940
[laughs]
198
00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:12,241
This is different than that.
199
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,605
Is it?
200
00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:17,842
Anyway, huh, isn't it
awesome what happened today?
201
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,156
What?
202
00:11:19,206 --> 00:11:21,167
That producer gave
me his business card.
203
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,034
Oh, right.
204
00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:24,620
So is he-
is he for real?
205
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:25,994
What do you mean?
206
00:11:26,464 --> 00:11:28,374
As in does he have credits?
207
00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:29,583
That, that aren't porn.
208
00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:32,044
Yeah. I already checked.
209
00:11:32,094 --> 00:11:33,926
Just be careful, okay?
'Cause he could be
210
00:11:33,976 --> 00:11:34,880
a serial killer or...
211
00:11:34,930 --> 00:11:36,382
Okay, paranoid.
212
00:11:36,432 --> 00:11:40,386
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
213
00:11:40,436 --> 00:11:43,889
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind
214
00:11:43,939 --> 00:11:45,391
on, on the rent again,
this month.
215
00:11:45,441 --> 00:11:48,185
Ah, no big.
I got it.
216
00:11:48,235 --> 00:11:50,563
I know, I just,
I don't wanna be a scab.
217
00:11:50,613 --> 00:11:52,481
Hey, I said don't
worry about it.
218
00:11:52,531 --> 00:11:54,692
It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.
219
00:11:54,742 --> 00:11:57,236
Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.
220
00:11:57,286 --> 00:11:58,863
[Ford chuckles]
221
00:11:58,913 --> 00:12:01,615
Seriously, bro, man,
I'm just so glad
222
00:12:01,665 --> 00:12:03,200
we're out here together.
223
00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:06,253
You and me, man,
living the dream!
224
00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:09,295
[laughs]
225
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:10,760
[sighs]
226
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,085
You know what I mean?
227
00:12:14,136 --> 00:12:16,889
[ethereal music]
228
00:12:26,023 --> 00:12:27,308
Know what?
229
00:12:27,358 --> 00:12:29,727
Why don't we cut the bullshit
230
00:12:29,777 --> 00:12:32,196
and go over into those bushes
over there and fuck?
231
00:12:35,032 --> 00:12:36,025
[snapping]
232
00:12:36,075 --> 00:12:37,159
You all right?
Yeah.
233
00:12:38,165 --> 00:12:39,324
Yup.
234
00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:40,578
You stoned or something?
235
00:12:40,748 --> 00:12:43,159
[chuckles]
236
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:45,201
-You ready to head back down?
-Yeah, yeah.
237
00:12:45,251 --> 00:12:46,535
-All right.
-Mm-hm.
238
00:12:46,585 --> 00:12:47,787
I'll race you to the bottom.
239
00:12:47,837 --> 00:12:50,748
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
240
00:12:50,798 --> 00:12:53,968
["Gosh" by Jamie xx]
241
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:00,558
You home already?
I thought you had a coffee date.
242
00:13:01,887 --> 00:13:03,422
[Amber sighs]
243
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:07,975
I did. I barely sat down and the
guy asked me if I would rim him.
244
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:13,020
-Oh.
-Hmm.
245
00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:14,939
What are you doing?
246
00:13:14,989 --> 00:13:19,318
Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.
247
00:13:19,368 --> 00:13:22,488
I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex
248
00:13:22,538 --> 00:13:24,406
that they don't even
make an effort anymore.
249
00:13:24,456 --> 00:13:26,909
Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,
250
00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:30,412
then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.
251
00:13:30,462 --> 00:13:32,373
Maybe he was foreign?
252
00:13:32,423 --> 00:13:35,793
I've just encountered
a lot of assholes on there.
253
00:13:36,046 --> 00:13:37,329
It's a numbers game.
254
00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:39,082
I mean, you have a
lot of asshole dick,
255
00:13:39,133 --> 00:13:41,961
but you also have dick
of every other kind too.
256
00:13:42,012 --> 00:13:46,424
Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.
257
00:13:46,596 --> 00:13:48,590
Exactly.
258
00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,599
I don't know,
I might delete it.
259
00:13:50,649 --> 00:13:54,436
Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.
260
00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:56,438
That is something
that old people say
261
00:13:56,488 --> 00:13:59,024
because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go
262
00:13:59,074 --> 00:14:01,506
and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.
263
00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:03,556
Let me see your profile.
264
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,236
Come here.
265
00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:14,999
You look like you're
hosting a reality show
266
00:14:15,049 --> 00:14:18,886
called Extreme Brunch,
or something.
267
00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:25,176
Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?
268
00:14:25,226 --> 00:14:28,812
Like, like showing
less personality?
269
00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:35,170
Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?
270
00:14:35,319 --> 00:14:37,313
Yeah, incredible.
271
00:14:37,363 --> 00:14:39,106
Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months
272
00:14:39,156 --> 00:14:42,193
and things are already
starting to happen for me.
273
00:14:42,243 --> 00:14:44,111
[sighs]
So, Sev.
274
00:14:44,161 --> 00:14:45,988
Mm-hmm?
275
00:14:46,038 --> 00:14:47,865
We've been seeing each
other a while now
276
00:14:47,915 --> 00:14:52,211
and I was wondering if...
277
00:14:53,448 --> 00:14:55,692
it was cool that
I called you my girlfriend.
278
00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:57,917
You can call me
whatever you want.
279
00:14:57,967 --> 00:15:00,002
I'm not precious
about the terminology.
280
00:15:00,052 --> 00:15:04,473
Okay, so uh, we're like,
exclusive, then?
281
00:15:05,349 --> 00:15:07,092
Ford, we've discussed this.
282
00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:09,053
You know I believe that monogamy
283
00:15:09,103 --> 00:15:10,763
is a form of social control,
284
00:15:10,813 --> 00:15:12,890
which is contrary to our nature.
285
00:15:13,394 --> 00:15:14,161
What?
286
00:15:14,657 --> 00:15:17,143
For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian
287
00:15:17,194 --> 00:15:19,980
hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,
288
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:23,484
food, childcare,
sexual partners.
289
00:15:23,534 --> 00:15:25,194
They were very promiscuous
290
00:15:25,244 --> 00:15:27,446
and it strengthened
their relationships,
291
00:15:27,496 --> 00:15:29,198
but then agriculture came along
292
00:15:29,248 --> 00:15:30,950
and people became obsessed
293
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,168
with ownership and
private property.
294
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,393
Oh, when was that?
295
00:15:36,511 --> 00:15:39,089
About 10,000 years ago.
296
00:15:39,210 --> 00:15:40,545
Oh.
297
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:42,928
Is this uh...
298
00:15:43,323 --> 00:15:46,693
Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?
299
00:15:46,744 --> 00:15:49,489
I know you're a
rocket scientist and...
300
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:51,408
Astrobiological theorist.
301
00:15:51,603 --> 00:15:53,138
And no, Ford,
302
00:15:53,188 --> 00:15:55,724
I actually think
you're extraordinary.
303
00:15:55,774 --> 00:16:00,070
Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.
304
00:16:01,731 --> 00:16:03,057
Thanks.
305
00:16:03,202 --> 00:16:05,113
It's so magnificent,
in fact,
306
00:16:05,451 --> 00:16:07,778
I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.
307
00:16:07,828 --> 00:16:10,114
Modern relationships
don't last
308
00:16:10,164 --> 00:16:13,117
because we expect too
much of our partners.
309
00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:15,369
They need to fulfill
us emotionally,
310
00:16:15,419 --> 00:16:17,663
satisfy us sexually.
311
00:16:17,713 --> 00:16:20,874
That's a lot to
ask of one person.
312
00:16:20,924 --> 00:16:25,554
Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.
313
00:16:25,731 --> 00:16:27,774
We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.
314
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:32,893
-Uh, what?
-Nothing.
315
00:16:35,856 --> 00:16:40,311
If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,
316
00:16:40,361 --> 00:16:43,897
if you, you know, um,
if you want to give
317
00:16:43,947 --> 00:16:48,027
the open relationship
thing a try,
318
00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:50,519
I'm down.
319
00:16:53,165 --> 00:16:54,249
Really?
320
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,794
You're not just saying
that to make me happy?
321
00:16:57,300 --> 00:17:00,130
You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.
322
00:17:02,549 --> 00:17:03,634
I mean it.
323
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,997
Okay, now pretend
like you're laughing
324
00:17:10,048 --> 00:17:12,625
at a cute guy over
there being funny.
325
00:17:12,976 --> 00:17:15,429
But why am I wearing a bikini
in the living room?
326
00:17:15,479 --> 00:17:17,389
No one is thinking
about that, Amber.
327
00:17:17,439 --> 00:17:20,609
This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.
328
00:17:22,653 --> 00:17:24,021
-[laughs]
-Oh, my God, okay,
329
00:17:24,071 --> 00:17:25,439
he's not, he's not like,
that funny.
330
00:17:25,489 --> 00:17:28,700
-He's amusing.
-Okay.
331
00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:30,486
[chuckles]
332
00:17:30,536 --> 00:17:32,913
He's mildly amusing.
333
00:17:34,873 --> 00:17:36,166
-[camera snaps]
-Perfect.
334
00:17:40,364 --> 00:17:41,776
I look mean.
335
00:17:41,922 --> 00:17:43,707
No, you look confused.
336
00:17:43,757 --> 00:17:45,042
You look hot and confused.
337
00:17:45,092 --> 00:17:46,960
That's the ideal combination.
338
00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:48,128
-What?
-[phone rings]
339
00:17:48,178 --> 00:17:51,715
Oh, sorry.
Hey.
340
00:17:51,765 --> 00:17:53,384
Oh, my God,
are you watching it?
341
00:17:53,434 --> 00:17:55,344
-Watching what?
-Murderous Minds.
342
00:17:55,394 --> 00:17:57,429
I told you, my
episode's on tonight.
343
00:17:57,479 --> 00:17:58,722
Oh, uh, shit!
344
00:17:58,772 --> 00:18:00,140
Oh, my God,
that's right, babe!
345
00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:01,850
I totally forgot!
346
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:03,394
That's so exciting!
347
00:18:03,444 --> 00:18:05,396
Fuck, Carly!
348
00:18:05,446 --> 00:18:06,855
Hope you didn't miss me.
349
00:18:06,905 --> 00:18:08,198
I've gotta set the DVR.
350
00:18:10,117 --> 00:18:12,152
-What's happening now?
-What do you mean?
351
00:18:12,202 --> 00:18:14,863
JETHRO: On the show, Jesus!
352
00:18:14,913 --> 00:18:17,699
Um, it, it looks like two cops
353
00:18:17,749 --> 00:18:20,285
are investigating
like, a crime scene.
354
00:18:20,335 --> 00:18:22,754
Okay, shit, you're just in time.
It's my scene.
355
00:18:26,049 --> 00:18:27,668
What's happening now?
356
00:18:27,718 --> 00:18:29,545
They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.
357
00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:30,546
Yes!
358
00:18:30,797 --> 00:18:31,972
[grunts]
359
00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:35,836
Was that you?
360
00:18:35,887 --> 00:18:37,297
Uh yeah,
what, couldn't you tell?
361
00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:40,806
No, you were amazing.
362
00:18:40,856 --> 00:18:42,149
Ah, I'm sure.
363
00:18:43,609 --> 00:18:44,726
Was I?
364
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:46,061
Mm-hm.
365
00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:48,147
Yeah, you, you were great,
Jethro.
366
00:18:48,197 --> 00:18:50,566
Oh, hey, Amber's there!
Amber!
367
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:53,777
-She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.
368
00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:59,102
And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.
369
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:02,703
14 fucking million
people watch that show.
370
00:19:02,753 --> 00:19:05,038
It's like I'm always
telling you, Carly,
371
00:19:05,088 --> 00:19:06,415
it's about connecting the dots
372
00:19:06,465 --> 00:19:10,043
and maintaining
a positive attitude.
373
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:11,336
Which is why I really wish
you'd come with me
374
00:19:11,386 --> 00:19:12,963
to meditation class tonight.
375
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:14,798
Yeah, I know, babe,
but I told you,
376
00:19:14,848 --> 00:19:16,967
I need to work on my
scene for class tomorrow.
377
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,606
Yeah, well, Car,
the road to failure
378
00:19:19,656 --> 00:19:21,096
is paved with excuses.
379
00:19:21,146 --> 00:19:22,764
[phone beeping]
380
00:19:22,814 --> 00:19:24,683
Hey, babe, can we
continue this later?
381
00:19:24,733 --> 00:19:27,269
Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.
382
00:19:27,547 --> 00:19:29,743
I'm almost to work anyway.
Just wanted to share my
383
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:30,856
moment of glory with ya.
384
00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:32,858
You were awesome, babe.
385
00:19:32,908 --> 00:19:35,360
Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.
386
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:38,280
Great.
Okay, see ya.
387
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:40,195
-Hey.
-Gabriel is 43
388
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,700
fucking minutes late.
389
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:44,161
Like I said, low bar.
390
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:46,747
What should I do now?
Should I leave?
391
00:19:46,797 --> 00:19:49,168
[chuckles] Are you kidding?
You lost all your dignity
392
00:19:49,218 --> 00:19:50,125
like, 28 minutes ago.
393
00:19:50,540 --> 00:19:52,544
I know.
Am I tragic?
394
00:19:52,994 --> 00:19:54,020
Don't, don't answer that.
395
00:19:54,096 --> 00:19:55,714
I was really hoping
to, you know,
396
00:19:55,764 --> 00:19:57,257
finally solve the
mystery of, oh, shit.
397
00:19:57,307 --> 00:19:59,092
-CARLY: What? Is he there?
-Yeah.
398
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,186
-I'll call you back.
-Okay, bye!
399
00:20:03,438 --> 00:20:06,767
Ulysses.
Oh, man, I am so sorry.
400
00:20:06,817 --> 00:20:08,810
You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,
401
00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:11,355
but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,
402
00:20:11,405 --> 00:20:13,982
-and, and my phone died...
-It's, it's okay, it's okay...
403
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:15,734
Don't worry about it.
404
00:20:15,784 --> 00:20:17,694
Seriously though, I'm
big on first impressions
405
00:20:17,744 --> 00:20:20,989
and I feel so fucking bad.
406
00:20:21,392 --> 00:20:23,534
Well, you're here now, right?
407
00:20:23,721 --> 00:20:24,983
That's, that's all that matters.
408
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:26,245
Yeah.
409
00:20:27,207 --> 00:20:29,751
[upbeat music]
410
00:20:32,759 --> 00:20:36,722
["Diamond Veins" by French 79]
411
00:20:54,364 --> 00:20:59,286
♪ Blood felt, joy of life ♪
412
00:21:01,455 --> 00:21:02,781
Whoa.
413
00:21:02,831 --> 00:21:04,241
Holy crap, baby.
414
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:05,617
[Carly chuckles]
415
00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:08,078
Hey, Smokey.
You miss me?
416
00:21:08,128 --> 00:21:09,268
Sure did.
417
00:21:09,319 --> 00:21:11,582
I want to drink you
up like a piña colada.
418
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:16,545
Good, because I've
been a really bad girl.
419
00:21:16,595 --> 00:21:18,839
-[loud slap]
-[gasps] Ooh!
420
00:21:18,889 --> 00:21:20,882
-[loud slap]
-Ah!
421
00:21:20,932 --> 00:21:22,384
-[loud slap]
-[moans]
422
00:21:22,434 --> 00:21:24,803
NERD: I really want to get
to know you, the real you.
423
00:21:25,343 --> 00:21:26,972
Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,
424
00:21:27,022 --> 00:21:28,849
finger myself or something?
425
00:21:28,899 --> 00:21:31,018
Could we just talk first?
426
00:21:31,371 --> 00:21:34,060
Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?
427
00:21:34,679 --> 00:21:39,942
Well, I uh, I have always
wanted a job I could do lying down.
428
00:21:40,284 --> 00:21:41,410
Hm.
429
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:43,655
Show me!
430
00:21:43,705 --> 00:21:45,699
Show me, you deviant
little whore.
431
00:21:45,749 --> 00:21:48,076
You're so pitiful and weak!
432
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,162
Just looking at
you makes me sick.
433
00:21:50,212 --> 00:21:51,955
Get on your knees!
434
00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:55,290
Damn. I so wish I hadn't
scheduled band practice for
435
00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:56,418
tonight.
436
00:21:56,469 --> 00:21:58,484
Ah, it, it's cool.
437
00:21:58,845 --> 00:22:00,464
It's just that a
couple of weeks ago,
438
00:22:00,514 --> 00:22:02,966
I, I declared this
embargo on hookups.
439
00:22:03,016 --> 00:22:04,926
I mean, you know
they're fun, obviously,
440
00:22:04,976 --> 00:22:09,898
but I always just feel,
well, gross and pagan after.
441
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,693
Yeah, no, uh,
I know what you mean.
442
00:22:14,069 --> 00:22:15,771
So I, I made sure
to make plans
443
00:22:15,821 --> 00:22:18,815
so that no matter
how hot you were,
444
00:22:19,060 --> 00:22:22,661
I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.
445
00:22:24,496 --> 00:22:26,665
No, it's, it's okay,
I totally get it.
446
00:22:29,376 --> 00:22:31,953
We can hang out soon
again, though, right?
447
00:22:32,288 --> 00:22:33,664
Definitely.
448
00:22:33,714 --> 00:22:35,916
-Oh, shit!
-What? What?
449
00:22:35,966 --> 00:22:38,877
I fucking forgot
to charge my phone!
450
00:22:39,290 --> 00:22:43,015
I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.
451
00:22:43,765 --> 00:22:44,850
That sucks.
452
00:22:45,757 --> 00:22:49,491
I guess we'll jus-
we'll just have to hang out
453
00:22:52,274 --> 00:22:54,851
again soon...
454
00:22:54,901 --> 00:22:59,823
-[car horn honking]
-[men shouting]
455
00:23:02,620 --> 00:23:03,819
Come on.
456
00:23:05,053 --> 00:23:07,847
[gentle music]
457
00:23:12,085 --> 00:23:13,537
No, wait.
458
00:23:14,070 --> 00:23:16,123
-What?
-[sighs]
459
00:23:16,173 --> 00:23:17,841
I'm not blowing this, am I?
460
00:23:18,999 --> 00:23:20,651
What do you,
What do you mean?
461
00:23:20,761 --> 00:23:22,796
Well, I'm gonna see
you again, right?
462
00:23:22,846 --> 00:23:24,464
I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?
463
00:23:24,514 --> 00:23:27,342
No, no, no, you're
not fucking this up.
464
00:23:27,392 --> 00:23:30,228
Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.
465
00:23:33,899 --> 00:23:35,851
Handjobs only, though?
466
00:23:36,201 --> 00:23:37,202
What?
467
00:23:37,702 --> 00:23:39,370
For tonight, just handjobs?
468
00:23:40,113 --> 00:23:41,615
And save the rest for later?
469
00:23:42,284 --> 00:23:43,944
Yeah. Yeah.
470
00:23:44,201 --> 00:23:45,694
Okay, we need to hurry, though,
471
00:23:45,744 --> 00:23:47,621
'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?
472
00:23:51,458 --> 00:23:53,034
Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?
473
00:23:53,084 --> 00:23:56,329
WORM: Mm-hm.
Can you wiggle them?
474
00:23:56,820 --> 00:23:57,831
Like this, you mean?
475
00:23:58,163 --> 00:24:00,660
Yeah, keep wiggling.
Keep wiggling.
476
00:24:00,882 --> 00:24:02,166
Worm, you know
you need to ask me
477
00:24:02,217 --> 00:24:04,420
more respectfully than that.
478
00:24:04,513 --> 00:24:06,965
Please.
Please wiggle your toes for me.
479
00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:08,842
CARLY: Much better.
480
00:24:09,598 --> 00:24:11,266
Hell yeah.
481
00:24:11,820 --> 00:24:12,679
Keep wiggling.
482
00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:15,249
More, more wiggle.
483
00:24:15,820 --> 00:24:17,100
Oh, God.
[moans]
484
00:24:17,340 --> 00:24:20,278
[both moaning]
485
00:24:21,013 --> 00:24:22,688
-Oh!
-God!
486
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:25,442
Oh, oh, oh fuck!
487
00:24:25,492 --> 00:24:27,486
[groaning]
488
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:29,863
-Oh!
-Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!
489
00:24:29,913 --> 00:24:32,407
[both groan]
490
00:24:32,457 --> 00:24:35,252
[all groaning]
491
00:24:43,819 --> 00:24:46,363
[both panting]
492
00:24:47,739 --> 00:24:48,740
Fuck.
493
00:24:52,894 --> 00:24:54,763
MAGENTA: What can I
do for you, Mistress?
494
00:24:55,020 --> 00:24:56,097
I'm here to please you.
495
00:24:56,147 --> 00:24:57,732
I'll do anything you want.
496
00:24:59,820 --> 00:25:03,188
How about you do
30 naked pushups?
497
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:05,190
Would that make Mistress happy?
498
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:06,691
To be honest, no.
499
00:25:06,741 --> 00:25:08,693
I just-
I don't really care.
500
00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:10,570
Well, what would
make you truly happy?
501
00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:12,205
I'm here to serve you.
502
00:25:14,563 --> 00:25:15,606
Really?
503
00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:20,831
Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class
504
00:25:20,881 --> 00:25:23,041
'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.
505
00:25:23,563 --> 00:25:25,684
Yeah, I'm gonna
pass on that one.
506
00:25:26,020 --> 00:25:27,212
But you said you
would do anything.
507
00:25:27,460 --> 00:25:28,797
Well, I know, but...
508
00:25:28,847 --> 00:25:30,298
Well, okay, well,
what if I like,
509
00:25:30,348 --> 00:25:31,591
take my top off while I do it?
510
00:25:31,641 --> 00:25:32,634
Okay, sure.
511
00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:34,553
Cool. Great.
512
00:25:34,603 --> 00:25:35,637
Okay.
513
00:25:35,860 --> 00:25:40,016
So, you're Anne,
514
00:25:40,420 --> 00:25:41,985
and I'm Mary, okay?
515
00:25:43,620 --> 00:25:44,696
Okay.
516
00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:50,360
Do you feel as
awful as you look?
517
00:25:50,620 --> 00:25:52,366
Why would you come
here if all you wanted to
518
00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:53,337
do was torment me?
519
00:25:53,872 --> 00:25:55,365
Hey, you're good.
520
00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:56,825
Hey!
521
00:25:57,220 --> 00:25:58,201
-[snaps]
-Stay in character!
522
00:25:58,460 --> 00:25:59,202
Next line.
523
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:00,841
ULYSSES: Wow.
524
00:26:04,380 --> 00:26:06,209
That was kind of intense.
525
00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:07,767
Yeah.
526
00:26:07,928 --> 00:26:10,221
[panting]
527
00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:17,053
Seriously, I mean
what was that?
528
00:26:17,103 --> 00:26:19,055
Was it, was it just me or
did, did it feel like
529
00:26:19,105 --> 00:26:21,892
the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?
530
00:26:22,252 --> 00:26:23,336
No, I felt it too.
531
00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:26,813
I'm almost afraid
to see what happens
532
00:26:26,863 --> 00:26:28,073
when we actually have sex.
533
00:26:30,140 --> 00:26:33,486
Look, I, I realize
that we just met
534
00:26:33,536 --> 00:26:37,657
and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,
535
00:26:37,707 --> 00:26:42,629
but something strange
seems to be going on here.
536
00:26:44,965 --> 00:26:46,541
Yeah.
537
00:26:46,820 --> 00:26:49,010
Yeah, I mean, it sort of-
it sort of feels like
538
00:26:50,940 --> 00:26:51,930
-fate.
-Fate.
539
00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,262
But I- got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.
540
00:26:59,312 --> 00:27:01,139
Right, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
541
00:27:01,189 --> 00:27:04,726
So uh, so when do I get
to see you next?
542
00:27:04,776 --> 00:27:06,394
Well, whenever.
I mean, whenever you...
543
00:27:06,444 --> 00:27:09,489
-How about tomorrow?
-Tomorrow's great.
544
00:27:10,407 --> 00:27:11,408
Cool.
545
00:27:12,575 --> 00:27:13,660
Oh, fuck.
546
00:27:18,289 --> 00:27:20,450
Okay, shit.
547
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,743
Now I really got to go.
548
00:27:21,793 --> 00:27:23,962
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
all right.
549
00:27:25,005 --> 00:27:27,799
[gentle music]
550
00:27:44,404 --> 00:27:46,114
Holy fucking shit!
551
00:27:48,111 --> 00:27:49,187
-[loud crash]
-[yelps]
552
00:27:49,237 --> 00:27:50,447
[loud thud]
553
00:27:54,409 --> 00:27:55,660
Ow!
554
00:28:24,981 --> 00:28:28,018
[ethereal music]
555
00:28:28,068 --> 00:28:29,611
Help me!
556
00:28:31,321 --> 00:28:32,947
Please!
557
00:28:39,913 --> 00:28:41,122
Please, help me!
558
00:28:43,958 --> 00:28:44,959
No!
559
00:28:46,044 --> 00:28:47,662
Oh, God!
560
00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:50,712
No! No!
561
00:28:56,805 --> 00:28:58,890
[groaning]
562
00:29:01,930 --> 00:29:04,168
Oh, God, no!
563
00:29:05,227 --> 00:29:06,353
No!
564
00:29:12,904 --> 00:29:14,155
No!
565
00:29:15,115 --> 00:29:16,324
Help me!
566
00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:18,985
Please!
567
00:29:19,035 --> 00:29:19,986
Help me!
568
00:29:20,036 --> 00:29:20,987
[hisses loudly]
569
00:29:21,037 --> 00:29:23,081
[screams]
570
00:29:24,624 --> 00:29:28,294
["Star Roving" by Slowdive]
571
00:29:38,846 --> 00:29:42,841
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
572
00:29:42,892 --> 00:29:46,062
♪ Can't hold ♪
39544
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