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(Taskmaster theme tune)
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(Cheers and applause)
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- Hello, welcome!
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Thank you, welcome to the series nine
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Taskmaster grand final!
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(Applause)
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Soon one of our battle broken contestants
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will join the elite,
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and fulfil the only dream they have ever had.
To hold aloft
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my smelted golden likeness,
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and to scream into the void
"I've done it, I am become light!
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"I am become immortal!
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"The world shall
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not forget my name!"
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(Laughter)
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Please give them an enormous round of applause,
the mighty five are
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David Baddiel
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Ed Gamble
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Jo Brand
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Katy Wix
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and Rose Matafeo.
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And sitting next to me is someone
who's had to put up with a lot of cruel,
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unflattering sniping introductions across the series.
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I love him, I really love him
So go wild, as I introduce a man
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who looks like a pipe cleaner crossed with a weasel.
He's not thin or fat, old or young.
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And his favourite song is genuinely
"It's my life" by Dr. Alban.
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It's Little Alex Horne!
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(Applause)
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- It's my life!
Thank you for letting me lie in your sun bed with you.
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- You're welcome.
- What a night it was.
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- What a weekend.
- What a lovely time we had.
- Good, let's crack on.
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What do we have for the final
prize task of the series, please Little Alex Horne?
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The grand final.
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- Yes, well they've been tasked to bring in
the best thing that is very long and thin.
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- Well it's the grand final.
- And you're very long and not very...
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(Laughter)
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- It's the grand final, I'm hoping for big things.
Ed Gamble,
- Hello.
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- What long thin thing have you brought in?
- It's one strand of spaghetti that is so long,
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it could constitute a whole portion.
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- There it is.
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- That is one strand of spaghetti that--
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No, it is! It genuinely is!
- It genuinely is.
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- Thank you, that I made--
- You know this is the grand final, right?
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- I made it from scratch in my kitchen,
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which is smaller than the actual strand of spaghetti is.
- It's about nine metres long,
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the average spaghetti portion is 32 strands
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doesn't sound like a lot, but that's what it is.
- Umm, Jo.
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- I have brought a
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beautiful piece of knitwear,
that is made out of a very long piece of wool.
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- Here it is.
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- It's the only thing I have ever knitted,
in my whole life.
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I made it when I was at university,
I was severely depressed.
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- Did you follow a pattern?
- Ish.
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- For trousers?
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- Did you really make it?
- Honestly I swear to God, I did.
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And the reason it's so awful and so horrible
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is because I can't really knit
and it's the only thing I've ever made.
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- Okay, so far so good.
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David?
- I have brought along the longest ever
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tin can walkie-talkie.
When I was a child, I was so frightened of the nazis,
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that I thought at any point
I'd have to hide under the floorboard,
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thus I would need a walkie-talkie.
- Oh my God.
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I mean, she throw depression in
and now we're dealing with the nazis.
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- But who were you speaking to,
when you're under the floorboard?
- Churchill.
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- It's 17.64 metres long.
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- Is that the longest ever?
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- Well, it's the longest length that will work.
- Katy?
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- Have you
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ever read War And Peace?
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- What shall I say?
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Yeah, I have yeah.
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- So, I took all the pages out and joined them all together,
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so it's one long piece of paper.
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So it's now not only very very long, but very thin.
- It opens like a concertina.
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- 1215 pages.
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And if you held it up bit by bit,
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if you just held it and draped it, it would be as high,
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well nearly as high, as The Shard.
Well I've got a--
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- Wow!
- When I say nearly,
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it nearly is, sort of nearly.
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- It's a very impressive and grand gesture,
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- Thank you.
- and befitting of the final.
- You seem like you mean that,
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which is nice for once.
- Ah, I sort of do.
- Rose.
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Long and thin, grand final, ohhhh.
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- (Mumbles quietly) I brought in a lasso
made of strawberry lace.
- You what.
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- I brought a lasso made of strawberry laces.
- Jesus Christ.
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Just once again, this is the grand final.
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- It's charming, it's whimsical,
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it's delicious.
- (Yells) It's the grand final!
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I think points go to substantial offerings.
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Ride 'em up cowboy gets one point,
to the strawberry lace girl.
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Oh kiss it!
- Wow, hear the crowd.
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And I really-- I know that Ed's pasta's gonna be delicious,
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but I'm only giving it two points.
- Two points for spaghetti.
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- Did you really want to hide from nazi tyranny?
- I did really want to hide.
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I don't know that the walkie-talkie would have saved me.
- Three points.
- Thank you.
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- Jo's story really touched me, four points.
But look, she's taken on
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one of the most classic novels the world has ever seen
and she's put it next to a Shard.
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Five points.
- Katy Wix.
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(Applause)
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- Would it be possible to give me
the series scoreboard update, please
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- Of course, well David is on 121 points.
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Next is Rose and Jo on 148.
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154 to Katy,
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and 157 to Ed.
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(Applause)
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- Right, let's get this final properly underway.
What's the big one to begin with?
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- It is a big one, but it features a little one.
Here we go.
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(Taskmaster task ditty)
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- Alex.
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- Ed Gamble.
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- Ooh, do you want to get engaged to me?
- Maybe.
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- Okay.
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"Do the most preposterous thing
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"with this chickpea."
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- "You have 20 minutes."
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20 minutes?
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- Yes please.
- "Your time starts
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"now."
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- (Sighs) Okay.
- What do you think preposterous means, Katy?
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- Absurd, outlandish.
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- My process normally,
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is to do the first thing that comes into my head.
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And obviously the first thing I think
is to shove this up my arse.
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Let's bank that.
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- So something small,
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it'd be like trying to do
something large with it.
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- Okay, let's think of something else I can do.
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Here I am trying to think of the second thing I can do.
Balance it on my cock.
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(Laughter and applause)
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- Katy seemed a bit concerned about the definition
of the word there.
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So I have checked it in a dictionary,
I've got 'utterly or obviously senseless'.
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'Laughably foolish'.
In any examples in the dictionary I looked it up in it says
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'to jam something up your bum
or balance it on your knob.
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Right, who's first?
- It's Ed first,
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to portray preposterousness with a pea.
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(Doo-Wop instrumental)
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(Giggles)
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(Doo-Wop continues)
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(Tires screeching)
(Ed yells)
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(Caravan squeaking)
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(Audience laughter)
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(Cheering and applause)
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- Jesus Christ.
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Tell me if I'm right here, I was just writing down
the narrative as I went along,
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You wined and dined a chickpea.
- Yes.
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- You fell in love with it.
- Yes.
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- Tragically, you lost that chickpea
in an awful car accident.
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And then, this is where it gets interesting,
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you had sex with its smashed up remains.
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- So it's, the chickpea didn't die.
The chickpea was injured
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and then I helped rehabilitate it.
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And then it happened to numerous other chickpeas.
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And then we all got off with each other at the end.
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- I've got to be honest with you Ed, at the moment
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you should look like the Jeffery Dahmer
of the chickpea world.
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- Well, the way I'd describe that whole thing
is preposterous and absurd.
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- I mean, come on that was an amazing film.
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Let's face it, it was a great opener, well done.
(Applause)
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Freeze!
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Here's some adverts.
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(Applause)
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Welcome back to the second part
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of the Taskmaster series nine grand final!
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(Applause)
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There was some serious chickpea shizz
going down before the break.
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- Yeah man, bare chickpea grief.
(Laughter)
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- Who's next?
- Well, do you want to see him now?
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It's preposterous David Baddiel.
Here we go.
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- I'd like you to kneel, please.
Welcome to the Chickpeavity.
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This chickpea is in fact
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God.
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You are gonna follow this star,
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to where the chickpea was born.
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- (Sings) "Ahhhhhhhhh.
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"Ahhhhh", can you keep it up a bit?
"Ahhhhhhh".
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Is it this way?
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Okay, so can we try some carols?
Right, something like
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(Sings) "We three kings of hummus are
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"on our way to the tahini star."
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(Sighs) How much time have we got left?
- You got about three minutes.
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- I knew I should have shoved it up my arse.
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Oh there's a shop, I've found them.
Here is the Holy family
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of chickpeas for 59p.
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Are you getting it?
Alright the star will pay.
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This bit's not as spiritual as I'd hoped.
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Can we buy this?
- Yep.
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- And could we buy a tin opener?
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Right, come on we haven't got very long.
Can you just go "ahhhhhhh"?
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So in the final days,
- 20 seconds, David.
- as they went in
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they realised that the Chickpeavity
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would rely on meeting the Chickpeavities--
the chickpeas.
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Oh God, I'm gonna kill myself doing that, ahh!
Right, this is the virgin chickpea,
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this is the virgin chickpea's husband.
And together, they gave birth
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to the baby chickpea.
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And thus, a religion was born.
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(Bell dings)
Thanks.
- Your 20 minutes up.
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(Applause)
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- What fascinates me is what that must have looked like
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from the perspective of the man who owned that shop.
The man who sang Three Lions
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came into his shop with a camera crew.
He bought some of his chickpeas,
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he threw them on the pavement outside,
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and then he left.
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- I don't feel that the people on the crew
were ever completely converted.
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- I mean, honestly David
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they looked bored.
- Yes.
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- Who now?
- Now it's the turn of two ladies
whose names have just two letters,
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it's Jo and KT.
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- I think this will look really horrible.
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- Right.
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- Done this sort of thing before, Jo?
- All the time.
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- Right, that's ridiculous so that'll do.
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Just let that settle.
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- I've got a crack in my chickpea.
- Sorry to hear that.
- (Laughs) Thanks.
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- Not a disease as such but,
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a kind of medieval plague.
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- Oh bollocks, my chickpea's disintegrated.
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Do I only get one?
- Afraid so.
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- Scheisse.
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- Just wanna make it look pretty.
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Done.
- What have you done?
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- I turned chickpeas into nails.
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(Mumbles inaudibly)
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- Thank you Jo.
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00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,300
(Applause)
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00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,700
- Jo, I don't see what's preposterous
about instantly giving yourself
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a Kardashian style smile.
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00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,700
- Can I just have one thing to say
about my small project?
- Yes.
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- Mercifully short.
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00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:35,500
- It was mercifully short.
- It was.
- Right, I mean what's wrong with you, come on.
230
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- Wasn't it great?
- It's weird.
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- What was the definition again?
- Absurd.
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00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,100
- Balance it on your dick, stick it up your arse.
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- These are my dicks and I balanced them on them.
(Applause)
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- Finally and sadly, here's Rose Matafeo.
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(Somber music)
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(Sobs)
237
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,600
(Church bell chimes)
238
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,300
(Somber music)
239
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,700
(Sobbing)
240
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,800
(Church bell chimes)
241
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:20,800
(Applause)
242
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:26,200
- It's so preposterous because
during it I genuinely found myself
243
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:30,400
grieving for a fucking chickpea.
(Laughter)
244
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,900
- Oh God, Chick Pataki.
- How do you feel, that 10 minutes later
245
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:38,300
I dug that chickpea up and fucked it?
(Laughter)
246
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:45,000
- Ready, from the top.
- From the top?
- Yes.
247
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,100
Anyone who makes me grieve for something
248
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,000
I would gobble up without a second thought,
249
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,500
gets five points.
- Okay, five points to Rose Matafeo.
250
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,700
(Applause)
251
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:58,100
- Anyone who subsequently
exhumes that corpse and fucks it
252
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,300
gets four sweet points.
253
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,600
(Applause)
254
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:05,800
Anyone who gets what's left of the corpse,
255
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,700
slices it thinly,
and tries to pass it off as glamorous nails
256
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:11,700
gets three sweet points.
257
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,200
Two to David, purely 'cause
Jo just stuck it in a gap in her teeth.
258
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,600
- I know.
259
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,400
- Well goodness me, I'm exhausted.
260
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,200
Early scoreboard please, Alex.
261
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:27,800
- In this episode it's pretty tight,
there's only three points separating them
262
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,400
There's two people, David an Jo, on five points.
But Katy Wix is on eight points.
263
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,500
(Applause)
264
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:39,400
- Another one please.
- Okay, and it's the final team task
265
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,200
of the series I'm afraid, sad times.
266
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,800
But at least this task should be everyone's cup of tea.
267
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,800
(Taskmaster task ditty)
268
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,900
Hello Katy.
- Hi, Alex.
269
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,700
- Hello Rose.
- Hello Alex.
270
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,400
- Hello Ed.
- Hello.
- Oh, hi team.
271
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,800
- Team?
- Team, I thought you said Tim.
- I thought you said Tim as well.
272
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,800
- "Make the best cup of tea in this tea cup."
273
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,900
- "You must use all the equipment on the table,
274
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:16,900
"you must not use anything from the kitchen."
275
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:21,200
"You must wear the washing up gloves throughout the task.
"Best cup of tea wins."
276
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:25,100
- "You have a maximum of 10 minutes,
your time starts now."
277
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:31,300
Oh hang on they're all, they're all locked down.
(Applause)
278
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,400
- Good, nice to see not even a good old cup of tea
279
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,700
can stir any life out of the two older competitors.
280
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:42,100
- Okay, we're gonna start with the two comedians
that were a massive success
281
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:45,400
way before Rose Matafeo was even born!
It's David and Jo.
282
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,800
- [David] I think this might be useful.
283
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,000
- [Jo] Well, I think that's useful so I'm gonna rinse that.
284
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,800
- [David] Shall I start to put the water in?
285
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,500
- [Jo] Do you mind, 'cause I'm just gonna have
a quick wee as well.
- [David] Okay fine.
286
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,300
Jo's actually gone for a wee.
- Oh.
287
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,800
- I don't know how long Jo's wee's gonna take.
288
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:08,700
- Well, you've only got seven minutes left to make--
- Okay, (Calls out) Jo?
289
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,600
- How long does she normally take, your teammate?
290
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,100
- Well uhh, I don't live with her.
291
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,300
Jo?
292
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,200
- Yeah?
- Have a look at this.
293
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:21,700
Some water will come off,
but I think most of it will go in here.
294
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,600
- Right, or we just--
- I've done it, I've done it, I've done it.
295
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:28,400
- Okay.
- I felt that we had no choice.
- Alright, you've got too much tea in here.
296
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,200
- Have we?
297
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,700
- Well course, look at that, that's like nearly--
- I like it strong.
298
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:36,900
- Bollocks, come here we need to get some of that out.
Honestly.
299
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:39,300
Bit more.
300
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,500
- You know what we don't have?
- Tea strainer.
- Tea strainer.
301
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:48,700
Oh, got this.
- That's bog roll.
We can't strain it through bog roll.
302
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,500
Right, so I'm gonna put the milk in, okay?
303
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,000
- Okay, 'cause that's how people do it poshly?
304
00:19:56,100 --> 00:20:00,300
- Yeah, and also because we'll be able to see
how strong the tea is.
305
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,700
- Is that working?
- Yeah.
306
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,200
One sugar.
- Yeah, one sugar.
307
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:12,000
- Can I try to stir it using my dainty finger?
- Yeah.
308
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:15,900
- Look at that!
309
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,000
- (Blows whistle) Thanks David.
- See you later.
-Thanks Jo.
310
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,400
(Applause)
311
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,700
It's very very strong.
312
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,600
But it's not a bad cup of tea.
313
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,800
(Applause)
314
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,900
- First thing's first, I would like to congratulate Jo Brand
315
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,300
for being the only person in Taskmaster history,
316
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,400
went against the clock
317
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,600
to go to the toilet.
318
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,000
- It would have taken long if I'd wet myself.
319
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:55,700
- You came back from the toilet
- Yeah.
- with some toilet roll.
320
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,300
And then David decided he was going
to try and strain tea through that.
321
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:03,200
- Yeah.
- And you said
you can't strain tea through toilet roll.
322
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,900
- Yeah.
- So why did you bring the toilet roll back?
323
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:13,800
- 'Cause I thought I might have a shit
while it was brewing.
(Laughter)
324
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,400
- Okay, it's the end of part two.
Show us what's on your telly-tummy, Alex.
325
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:27,500
(Applause)
326
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:31,100
It's still Taskmaster series nine final,
327
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:33,900
and there is still a long-ish piece of spaghetti to be won.
328
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:36,700
But first.
- First a nice cup of tea, hopefully.
329
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:39,800
Because before the break they were making
the best cup of tea they could,
330
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:43,200
but with all the necessary bits bolted to a table.
Annoying.
331
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,600
It's the turn of the three young whipper snappers now,
here's how they got on.
332
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:51,600
- So we need to pour that into there, right?
That's stuck down.
333
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,400
- Have you got a key on you, Alex?
- Have I got a key on me?
334
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,400
- [Katy] Oh keys, keys.
335
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,400
We're looking for keys.
Do you think the keys are in here, in the sugar?
336
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,000
Doesn't matter if I make a mess, does it?
337
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,300
- [Ed] Pop your shoes off for me.
338
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,800
I'm fairly sure there's no key on Alex.
- I'm gonna look for scoopers.
339
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,100
Scoopy, that's quite scoopy.
340
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,200
This lid is quite scoopy.
341
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:14,100
This tea cup's quite good.
- This is gross.
342
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,400
Ah yes, there's a scoopy.
343
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,400
- [Alex] Where did you get the scoopy from?
344
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,200
- [Katy] I got it from the dressing room.
345
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:22,400
- [Ed] Is the key in the milk?
- Is it in this, have we checked?
346
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,300
- No it's not in there, there's not enough in there for that.
347
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:26,700
- There you go, that'll do, that.
348
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:29,100
- We want to strain it.
349
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,200
- We should just wad it up and squeeze it into the cup,
350
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,400
instead of the strainer.
351
00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:33,500
- [Alex] Wad it up and squeeze it?
352
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,900
- Wad it up and squeeze it into the cup.
Look.
353
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,400
Tea.
- Oh, great.
354
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,300
- [Rose] Wow, that's amazing actually.
- Cup of tea, anyone?
355
00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:41,800
- [Katy] Great, great, great, that's looking the part.
356
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,700
How long have we got?
- [Alex] You've got three and a half minutes left.
357
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,000
- Right, so everyone just get
as much water on that as possible.
358
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,000
And then I'll spit the milk on top when we're done.
359
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,600
- You'll spit?
- Yeah.
- Oh yeah.
360
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,200
Oh, it's a frothy one.
Have you done sugar?
- No we haven't done sugar.
361
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,500
- [Ed] I can't spit that in.
Stir it.
- Give it a stir.
362
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:04,200
- [Ed] That's a cup of tea, right?
363
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,800
- [Rose] Just clean up the edges there.
- [Ed] Are you tasting this, Alex?
- Yes.
364
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:10,100
- I feel like we're done,
365
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:12,100
I don't think we're gonna get
a better cup of tea than that.
366
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,300
- Thanks guys.
- Thanks Alex.
367
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:25,200
(Audience laughter)
368
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,800
- That was horrible.
Honestly.
369
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,100
(Applause)
370
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:36,600
- I felt like I was watching a tribe of people
371
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:41,300
who just invented their own language, a lot of the time.
This is my favourite:
372
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,300
"We should just wad it up and squeeze it into a cup."
373
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,100
And you both went "yeah, yeah we'll wad it up.
"Let's get that wadded up."
374
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,100
- They spent half their time searching for keys in milk.
375
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:55,700
- You're tricksy, you would put a key in milk.
- I would not put a key in milk, thank you.
376
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,200
- You'd put a key in milk.
- I would not put a key in milk.
- Talking of the milk,
377
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:03,400
(Laughter)
378
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:06,100
- You sucked up the milk after finding the scoopy,
379
00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:09,500
you could have used the scoopy.
- No, the scoopies were useless by that point.
380
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:13,800
- Alex, did it taste a bit hummusy?
(Laughter)
381
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,500
- I think I have to reward the old people.
382
00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:19,900
The fact that you could make a lovely cup of tea,
383
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:25,400
and you had time to pop to the toilet, is impressive.
So, I'm gonna give five points
384
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,300
to David and Jo.
385
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:31,500
And I'm sorry, I'm punishing the young people heavy,
386
00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:33,700
I'm giving them one point each.
- No.
387
00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:35,600
- Based on his reaction.
388
00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:41,200
- Well, I think that's entirely fair enough,
five points to David and Jo!
(Applause)
389
00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:44,500
- Hey but Alex, that's not the last
pre-recorded task is it?
390
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,600
- It is, but it's not as bad as it sounds, Greg,
391
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,000
because it's actually the last seven tasks.
Ready?
392
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:56,400
(Taskmaster task ditty)
393
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:05,400
- Hello Jo.
- Hi um, Alex.
394
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,500
- Hi Ed.
- Hello Alex.
395
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:14,500
- Please open up the one on the second step, thank you.
- There's a lot of other ones.
396
00:25:14,700 --> 00:25:19,800
- "Complete the seven tasks."
- "When you touch a task in any way,
397
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,700
"you must complete it before
looking inside another task."
398
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,200
- "Fastest wins, your time starts now."
399
00:25:27,900 --> 00:25:30,500
(Applause)
400
00:25:31,700 --> 00:25:32,900
- Do you want to start straight away?
401
00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:34,600
- Let's start straight away, who should we see?
402
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:37,800
- We're gonna start with Rose Matter-of-facto.
403
00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:40,800
- Oooh no, okay.
404
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:44,700
"Put this wheelbarrow in the caravan.
405
00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:48,800
"The wheelbarrow must stay in the caravan
for the rest of the tasks."
Ohhh no.
406
00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:50,500
Okay.
407
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,400
Angles, no other way Rose.
There we go!
408
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,600
- [Alex] One.
409
00:25:56,900 --> 00:26:00,300
- "Roll the bowling ball from behind the rope
at the top of the drive,
410
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:05,400
"so that it knocks over at least one of the skittles
in front of the front door."
411
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,400
"Place one of your hands
412
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:13,500
"on one of your hips, and keep it there
until you've completed all the tasks."
Which one?
413
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,500
"Complete the jigsaw."
It's in here?
414
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,600
I see who it's gonna be.
415
00:26:24,700 --> 00:26:26,300
Yes, there we go.
416
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,300
- [Alex] Three left.
- "Hide all the jigsaw pieces around the garden."
417
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:32,000
Ohh, thank God I got that one first!
418
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,700
- Is your hand on your hip?
Oh, yeah.
419
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:43,800
- "Put 20 things all bigger than a tennis ball,
in the wheelbarrow."
420
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,200
Nine,
421
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,800
ten...
- [Alex] How many's that?
- 20.
422
00:26:49,300 --> 00:26:51,000
- [Alex] One left.
423
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,300
- Okay great, this is not hard.
"Build a tower of bricks on the red circle.
424
00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:56,600
"The tower must be at least 26 inches high
425
00:26:56,900 --> 00:27:01,100
"and remain standing until all tasks are complete."
Is there a tape measure?
426
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,600
Oh, cool.
427
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:09,400
I see how this would be difficult
if you got it in a bad order.
Okay, done!
428
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,400
(Applause)
429
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,400
- As you can see from the faces of the other contestants,
430
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:22,000
things fell rather kindly for you, didn't they?
- I was blessed by a higher power there.
431
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:26,400
- Were you just thinking,
why have they saved this boring task
for the end of the series?
432
00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:29,000
Because fuck me, strap in mate.
433
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,600
(Laughter)
434
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,900
- If you started from the first one in front of you,
435
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,400
and then worked in a clockwise order.
436
00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:37,200
They'd just have to made the jigsaw, hide the jigsaw.
437
00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:39,200
Put the wheelbarrow in the caravan,
put 20 things in the wheelbarrow.
438
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:40,600
Knock over the skittles, build a tower,
439
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:43,400
and then place a hand on the hip.
So it wasn't a hard task.
440
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:47,300
There are other ways you could do it, of course.
Like Katy and David's way.
441
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,200
- "Hide all the jigsaw pieces around the garden."
442
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:58,300
- "Hide all the jigsaw pieces around the garden."
443
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,800
- I've hidden them.
- [Alex] One down.
- "Complete..." Oh fuck.
444
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,700
- [Alex] What does it say?
- Complete the jigsaw.
- Oh.
445
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,000
- "Put this wheelbarrow in the caravan."
446
00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:15,900
Does this go in here?
- Yes.
447
00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:20,100
- Oh, maybe I haven't got all the pieces.
448
00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:23,300
- This doesn't feel-- I'm not confident.
449
00:28:23,300 --> 00:28:27,200
- I'm guessing the hole could be bigger
then the wheelbarrow.
450
00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:33,000
Want me to have a look?
- Can you see anything?
451
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:41,000
- There comes a point where you have to say
what is in and what is out.
452
00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:43,200
I think that's in.
- Okay.
453
00:28:43,300 --> 00:28:45,500
- Right, thank God for that.
454
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:47,400
"Put this wheelbarrow in the caravan."
455
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:52,200
I've got a feeling I've picked them up in a bad order.
- "Build a tower of bricks."
456
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,200
- (Sighs) Ohh my God.
457
00:28:58,500 --> 00:29:02,200
- Task completed.
"Put 20 things all bigger then a tennis ball
458
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:04,300
"in the wheelbarrow."
459
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:13,100
- "Place one of your hands on one of your hips."
For the rest of the thing?
- Yes please.
460
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:17,700
- "Complete the jigsaw."
Ah, you see it's worked for me my laziness there, hasn't it?
461
00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:21,200
- "Build a tower."
462
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,200
- Oh.
463
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,400
Yay.
- [Alex] Two left.
464
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,800
- "Place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there
465
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,700
"until you've completed all the tasks."
466
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,800
Is that my hip, I'm never entirely sure where my hip is.
467
00:29:31,900 --> 00:29:34,500
- [Alex] Where do you think your hip might be?
- Is it here?
468
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:37,200
(Phone ringing)
469
00:29:37,900 --> 00:29:39,600
- [Iva] Yes?
- Iva?
470
00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:40,900
- [Iva] David.
- Yeah, hello.
471
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,000
You recently had a hip replacement, isn't that true?
472
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:43,900
- [Iva] That's correct.
473
00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:47,400
- Well, I'm not entirely sure where my hip is.
- [Iva] It kind of runs down
474
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,800
sort of by your testicles.
- By your testicles?
475
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,700
Here, what?!
476
00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:57,900
- "Roll a bowling ball
"so that it knocks over at least one of the skittles."
477
00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:05,000
Thank God for that.
- [Alex] One more task.
- Actually, I'll tell you what...
478
00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:06,700
- [Alex] Hand on your hip please.
- Yeah.
479
00:30:06,900 --> 00:30:09,000
- [Alex] What do you mean 'yeah'?
- This one.
480
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,700
- "Put 20 things all bigger then a tennis ball
481
00:30:12,900 --> 00:30:14,100
"in the wheelbarrow."
482
00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:15,200
- [Alex] Remember, if you knock over your tower
483
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,700
you have to start everything all over again.
484
00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:18,500
- I'd rather die.
485
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:19,900
- 14,
486
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,100
15,
487
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,100
18,
488
00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:24,200
19.
489
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:29,300
- [Alex] Where's your hand, David?
- Ow!
490
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,800
- Oh great, that's the last one.
491
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:44,800
- Whoooaa!
492
00:30:45,100 --> 00:30:46,900
(Applause)
493
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:51,800
- I think that you both picked them up in roughly
the wrong sort of same order.
494
00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:55,300
- I think, when I saw how Rose had done it, I gasped.
495
00:30:56,100 --> 00:30:59,900
Because I think I was on the wheelbarrow alone,
for 20 minutes, I'd say.
496
00:31:00,100 --> 00:31:01,300
- You did spend a lot of time on the wheelbarrow,
497
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,000
and you rushed certain other elements.
498
00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:04,800
- Good news though.
499
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,500
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Where?
500
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:11,000
- You know where your fucking hip is.
(Laughter)
501
00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:15,000
- Actually, was my hand in the right place to begin with?
502
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,300
- To begin with, but then you didn't have it on
for the rest of the task.
503
00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:19,500
It kept coming off your hip.
504
00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:23,300
- But why didn't he start again if that was---
- Well, I was wondering the same thing.
505
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,200
- That would have been--
As I said I would have rather died.
I mean, I would.
506
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:32,100
- One part left until the end of the series.
Who will take home both the trophy
507
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,500
and its guardian Alex Horne,
to live with you
508
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,300
for the rest of your natural lives.
509
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:42,100
Find out who wins
after this final vomit of adverts.
510
00:31:50,300 --> 00:31:54,000
Hello, here we go then.
Welcome back to the final part of the series.
511
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,500
(Applause)
512
00:31:56,700 --> 00:32:00,000
We had a right loaded task going on
before the break didn't we, Alex?
513
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,900
- Oh we sure did, Dad.
There are seven tasks to complete,
514
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,600
all of the tasks simple enough
515
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,700
depending on the order in which they are completed.
516
00:32:07,700 --> 00:32:09,000
Get the order wrong or mess up a task
517
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:13,600
and you could create a living nightmare for yourself.
Here is Jo and Ed.
518
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:16,500
- One,
519
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:18,600
two.
520
00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:23,900
- You little bastard!
521
00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:27,200
- I could imagine that's as simple as that's going to be.
522
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,700
- [Alex] One down.
- "Roll a bowling ball."
523
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,100
- [Alex] Not got many to aim for.
- Yes, certainly less than I did initially.
524
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,600
- [Alex] Would it be worth aiming it at a different place?
- I swear to God, Alex...
525
00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:46,600
- Woo hoo!
526
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,600
- [Alex] Okay one down, six to go.
- "Put 20 things
527
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:54,100
"all bigger than a tennis ball, in the wheelbarrow."
528
00:32:57,900 --> 00:32:59,000
- Get in, you prick!
529
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,300
- [Alex] Two down.
- "Complete the jigsaw."
530
00:33:02,100 --> 00:33:05,500
- [Alex] Do you like jigsaws?
- Nope.
Absolutely hate them.
531
00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:08,300
- "Put this wheelbarrow in the caravan."
532
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:12,000
Have you ever seen anyone have a stroke?
- That's a corner.
533
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,700
Well, that's not that corner, is it.
I mean, what is wrong with me?
534
00:33:23,100 --> 00:33:25,400
- So what happens if stuff falls out of it?
535
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,400
- Oh you have to start again with the skittles.
- Right.
536
00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:31,300
- "Place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there
537
00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:34,000
"until you've completed all the tasks."
538
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,100
- So that's kind of in.
539
00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:41,700
Isn't it?
540
00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:46,400
- [In unison] "Hide all the jigsaw pieces
around the garden."
541
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,100
- Fuck's sake.
I mean, oh dear.
542
00:33:50,100 --> 00:33:52,500
- [Alex] What did it say, Jo?
- Complete the jigsaw.
543
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,700
- "Build a tower of bricks on this red circle."
544
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,400
- Finished.
"Place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there
545
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:04,400
until you've completed all the tasks.
- "Put this wheelbarrow in the caravan."
546
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,300
- I'd say that's it.
- [Alex] Okay, I'll stop the clock.
547
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,400
- Ohhhh!
548
00:34:17,500 --> 00:34:20,900
I've got to start the tasks again, haven't I?
- Yes.
549
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,600
- I so nearly did it!
550
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,600
- [Alex] Have you nearly finished the jigsaw, Ed?
551
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:32,000
- If you ask me that one more time,
I am shoving this jigsaw up your dick.
552
00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:35,300
One, two.
553
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,200
There you go.
554
00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:39,500
"Place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there
until you've completed all the tasks."
555
00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:42,500
- [Alex] Still one more, Ed.
- What?
556
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,600
- [Alex] I'll stop the clock.
557
00:34:52,900 --> 00:34:55,400
Thank you, Ed.
- Go fuck yourself.
558
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,400
- I want to know if everybody did all the tasks.
559
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,600
- Well, there was one interesting incident in that one.
560
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,100
Ed started his tasks again because
something came out the wheelbarrow.
561
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,500
Something came out of Jo's wheelbarrow
562
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:05,200
she took the wellies out but she didn't start again.
563
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,800
And strictly speaking, she probably should have.
I didn't tell her to, because of
564
00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:11,500
the scenario.
565
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,300
- What, the scenario being you're frightened of her?
566
00:35:14,300 --> 00:35:19,300
- Well, she'd threatened to have a stroke just before that.
(Laughter)
567
00:35:20,100 --> 00:35:24,500
I thought, she just took a couple of wellies out.
- Oh no, come on what?!
- Pardon?
568
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,800
- That was the worst day of my fucking life.
- So far, so far.
569
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:33,200
- If I could have taken out a couple of wellies,
I would have been fine!
Fucking fly!
570
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:35,900
(Laughter)
571
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,900
I stuck to the rules, Alex.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- I stuck to the rules.
572
00:35:42,900 --> 00:35:45,500
As far as I could see it,
only me and Rose stuck to the rules.
573
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,200
- I think we've got to think about the spirit here,
did everyone--
574
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,600
- No, it's not about the spirit!
575
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,500
You know it's not about the spirit!
576
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:59,600
You've never been about the spirit.
- And the trouble is, no one can compete with Rose.
577
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:03,000
Rose completed all the tasks
in under two minutes each of them.
578
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,100
She did it in 13 minutes and 20 seconds.
- Wow!
579
00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:08,900
(Applause)
580
00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:12,600
- With her hand on her hip it still took her
581
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:17,300
just under a minute to build her 26 inch tower.
- Oh right, her 26 inch tower?
582
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,400
- Yes, her 26 inch tower,
I measured it to double check, I can show you here.
583
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,000
- Ooohhh.
584
00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:32,900
- [Audience] Ohhhhhh.
585
00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:36,800
- So Greg, to sum up,
Rose didn't build a tower tall enough.
586
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:40,500
Katy didn't put enough things in the wheelbarrow.
Jo took things out of the wheelbarrow.
587
00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:44,500
And David kept taking his hand off his hip.
Ed completed it twice.
588
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,400
(Applause)
589
00:36:48,700 --> 00:36:51,300
- Rules is rules, so I'm afraid
590
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:57,000
Ed Gamble five points, everyone else none.
(Applause)
591
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:03,000
Quick score, for old time sake.
- Of course, well it's fairly tight in the episode.
592
00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:05,800
Five points separating them,
so anyone can win the episode.
593
00:37:05,900 --> 00:37:10,800
Rose has seven, but Ed Gamble has 12 points.
(Applause)
594
00:37:12,300 --> 00:37:15,100
- Well it saddens me to ask, but please
595
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:19,900
could you head to the stage
for the final task of the series.
596
00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:24,200
(Applause)
597
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,800
I see five great people with aprons.
Who's gonna read the task out?
598
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:35,900
- This great person with an apron, David Baddiel.
- "Pull the short breadstick.
599
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:39,700
"Taking it in turns,
"you must pull a breadstick out of the apron
600
00:37:39,700 --> 00:37:41,800
"of the person next to you.
601
00:37:41,900 --> 00:37:47,500
"Before each pull, the breadstick's bearer
"must point to one of their breadsticks, wink,
602
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:50,500
"and say 'this is the short breadstick'.
603
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,700
"If you pull the short breadstick,
604
00:37:53,700 --> 00:37:56,900
"that breadstick bearer is disqualified.
605
00:37:57,500 --> 00:38:00,100
"The last remaining player wins."
606
00:38:00,100 --> 00:38:03,100
I don't know what the fuck any of that meant.
607
00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:05,700
- You're gonna be holding your five breadsticks,
608
00:38:05,900 --> 00:38:08,500
like this, so they all look like they're the same length.
609
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,600
There is a little one inside your pocket now.
- Do we have some time to rearrange, Alex?
610
00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:14,600
(Laughter)
611
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,100
- They are arranging their breadsticks, Greg.
612
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:18,800
I should say, there is only one winner of this.
613
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,700
The last person standing gets five points,
614
00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:24,100
so any of you could still win the episode.
- Ohhh.
615
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,000
- [Jo] How exciting.
616
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,600
- David versus Ed, first of all.
Please face each other.
617
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,800
So, Ed you are the breadstick bearer.
- David,
618
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,400
this is the short breadstick.
619
00:38:40,900 --> 00:38:43,600
- He's won, it's the short breadstick!
620
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:45,400
- Ed Gamble is out.
621
00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:47,800
- Okay, so.
622
00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:54,300
So David remains the breadstick puller.
- Okay, uhh this is the short breadstick.
623
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:59,100
- Oh bollocks.
- That's okay, you stay in the game.
624
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,500
So, Katy you're the breadstick bearer.
625
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,100
- Jo, that is the shortest breadstick.
626
00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:10,700
- Okay the game continues, Katy.
627
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,100
- This is the shortest breadstick.
628
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:17,900
- Okay, I don't believe you.
629
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:21,100
Actually I do believe you, sorry.
630
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,400
So if I believe, I pull it?
- If you believe, you pull it.
631
00:39:25,500 --> 00:39:27,200
She did not pull the short breadstick,
you can rearrange them.
632
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:28,200
Rose if you come...
633
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:32,200
Rose is now going to pull David Baddiel's breadstick.
- Oh come on, don't say that.
634
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,100
(Laughter)
635
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:36,600
- Okay Rose, this
636
00:39:37,100 --> 00:39:39,200
is the short breadstick.
637
00:39:43,700 --> 00:39:45,300
- Please pull it.
638
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:47,900
Baddiel survives, good luck.
639
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,100
Jo, please accuse one of your breadsticks
of being short.
640
00:39:50,100 --> 00:39:52,700
- Dave, that's the short breadstick.
641
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:58,000
- That's okay, that's okay, the game carries on.
- Ohh the tension.
642
00:39:58,300 --> 00:40:01,500
- Right, that is the short breadstick.
643
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:02,900
- He-heee.
644
00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:05,400
- Ohhhh!
645
00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:07,800
- Jo, that's good!
- Jo, you're in still.
646
00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:11,600
- Katy you must now sit on the elimination bench.
647
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,000
- Oh yeah, oh shit!
- Katy Wix disappears.
648
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,300
It's now getting to the exciting bit, Greg.
649
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,100
- Jo, this is the shortest breadstick.
650
00:40:22,100 --> 00:40:24,600
- Thanks Rose, that's so sweet.
651
00:40:25,900 --> 00:40:27,700
- Okay, we carry on.
652
00:40:30,100 --> 00:40:33,200
- This is the shortest breadstick.
- Okay.
653
00:40:34,700 --> 00:40:38,200
- It is the short breadstick, we've lost David Baddiel.
654
00:40:39,100 --> 00:40:43,100
We now have the final.
- Wooooo-hooo!
655
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:45,900
- It's Rose to pick, whoever doesn't
656
00:40:46,100 --> 00:40:49,200
have their short breadstick pulled
is the winner of this task.
657
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,600
And that will be the end of that.
658
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,100
- Okay, uhh Rose,
659
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:58,300
- Yes!
- Oh, vocal fry.
That is the short breadstick.
660
00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:05,100
- We have a winner!
661
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,300
Rose Matafeo's the winner!
662
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,700
- Right, come back down we'll add that to the final scores.
663
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,900
(Applause)
664
00:41:17,900 --> 00:41:20,400
Oh man, what a rush.
665
00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:22,100
- There was one winner of the breadstick competition,
666
00:41:22,100 --> 00:41:26,000
and that was of course, Rose Matafeo.
- Rose Matafeo.
- She gets the five points.
667
00:41:27,100 --> 00:41:29,400
Which means it's our tightest episode of the series.
668
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,600
There's only three points separating
last, Katy Wix,
669
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,700
from first.
Which was, with 12 points
670
00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:40,500
Ed Gamble and Rose Matafeo.
- [Audience] Oohhhhhh.
671
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,100
- Oh wow!
672
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,000
- So how are we actually going to decide
who's won this episode?
673
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,400
- With a lovely pop-up tie break.
In this task,
674
00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:53,000
they had to make a pop-up toy pause
for the longest before popping up.
675
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:58,200
They could use one of the spreads provided
to make their toy pause longer, if they wanted.
676
00:41:58,500 --> 00:42:01,700
Here we go, Ed and Rose both used peanut butter.
677
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,300
- Oh, I should have gone with butter.
678
00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:07,100
- [Alex] Peanut butter, is it?
- Yes, peanut butter all the way.
679
00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:19,200
- [Alex] Sticky isn't it?
- [Ed] You got anything else on today?
- Yes.
680
00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:24,300
- [Alex] Umm, it's lunch.
- Lunch time?
681
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:26,400
- [Alex] Are you okay to leave him?
- Yeah, let's leave our friend there.
682
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,100
What are you having for lunch?
683
00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:34,100
- So, Rose's toy paused for 44 seconds,
but Ed's paused for well over an hour and a half.
684
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,500
Ed Gamble wins the episode!
685
00:42:37,900 --> 00:42:41,800
- Ed Gamble wins the episode.
Please go and play with your long, thin things.
686
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,500
They're all yours!
687
00:42:43,500 --> 00:42:45,600
(Applause)
688
00:42:45,900 --> 00:42:50,700
Please give another round of applause
for tonight's winner, Ed Gamble!
689
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,500
(Cheers and applause)
690
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,500
Well then.
691
00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:05,600
Hello,
692
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:07,600
and welcome
693
00:43:07,700 --> 00:43:09,600
to the trophy ceremony.
694
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,400
It's tense isn't it?
695
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,400
It's now that I hand over
696
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:17,500
to tiny Little Alex Horne,
to reveal the final results.
697
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,200
- (Whispers) Okay, I'm six foot two.
698
00:43:20,300 --> 00:43:23,600
David, David, David.
- Yes.
699
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:28,200
You came fifth in the end with 128 points.
David Baddiel.
- Thank you so much.
700
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,300
(Applause)
701
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:32,600
- But a long way above you,
702
00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:35,700
in fourth places with 154 points
703
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,700
it's Jo Brand!
704
00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:39,300
- Yay!
705
00:43:40,900 --> 00:43:46,700
- Two people, almost inseparable, but separable
on 158 and 159 points they are
706
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:50,000
Katy Wix in third and Rose Matafeo in second!
707
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,800
(Applause)
708
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,400
- Which means, the ninth
709
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,700
Taskmaster champion is
710
00:43:57,900 --> 00:44:00,400
Ed Gamble!
711
00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:04,100
(Cheers and applause)
712
00:44:10,700 --> 00:44:12,800
And so I bid you farewell.
713
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,200
Thank you to our truly tremendous cast
714
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:19,400
for being everything a Taskmaster could've dreamed of.
Let's have one more cheer,
715
00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:23,800
for our monumental series champion,
Ed Gamble!
716
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,500
(Applause)
59990
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