All language subtitles for Lipstick.Jungle.S01E03.DVDRip.XviD-FoV

Previously on
Lipstick Jungle...

Who is this guy?
Your husband.

How does he let you out
of his sight for a minute?

When a woman expresses her concern
that an important business matter

be dealt with correctly,
she's not throwing a fit.

She's just doing her job.

Two years ago,
I was successful,

and now I look like this needy
person who needs to be saved.

What makes you think
I'm saving you?

It seems to be a thinly veiled account
of your life, and it's a little harsh.

Wendy, you're
a wonderful mother.

I know that.
The kids know that.

Isn't that enough?

I think we have a winner.

Nicky? It's 6:30.

You all right?

Honey,
I've already showered.

You're gonna be late.

I thought you might
want to read this.

"Studio chief begs superstar
publisher Janice Lasher

"not to release wicked novel
by former nanny."

Can we please talk
about something else?

Somebody, talk.

Oh, yeah, so, um...

Maddie, how's school?

It was fine till today. Guess it depends
on how many kids read that paper.

Listen, Maddie,
if anyone teases you...

I'll call you
on my imaginary phone.

Don't bring that up. We've already
discussed it. You're too young.

On what planet? Maddie, it's
not the day for this, darling.

Taylor, get your shoes.

But I'm not done
with my toast.

After your shoes.
Please, come on.

It's just a stupid phone.

No, it's texting.
It's Internet messaging. It's cameras.

Everyone in my class has one.

I am not their mother.

If their parents wanna spoil them,
that's their prerogative.

Oh, please, stop acting like we're
Amish people making our own soap.

We live in New York.

You're the head of a movie studio,
and the guy who cuts my hair

also does
Sarah Michelle Gellar's.

What?
I took her there once.

You can't pick and choose when you
want to be the good mother, okay?

It's really,
really phony.

Ms. Ford?
I'm Roy Merritt.

I'm here for a 9:00 interview,
for your assistant?

Oh, right.
You're early.

I like to get in at least
a half hour before my boss.

Well, that might be tricky,
since I live here.

Ah, okay.
Come on in.

After you.

Hey, Patty,
how close are we?

I don't know.

What's the update
on Prince Will?

He's still in the suite.

What's holding him up?

Apparently, Wardrobe couldn't
get past his bodyguards.

I'm gonna need
the 30-millimeter.

Kirby?

Yeah. I'm gonna go down to the
equipment room and get that.

Stupid. Stupid.

Thank you, Josh.
That was lovely.

Ms. Healy?
You need to talk about this?

I need to not talk about it.

Good.
Abby Garcia wants to meet. Why?

Her manager, who's also her mother,
wants her to do Pink Poison.

What?
Isn't she, like, 12?

Fifteen, but her motherlmanager
says she's ready.

To do a graphic sex scene
with her skating coach?

Josh! No, I think that
we are going to cast someone

who's at least old enough
to order a beer.

Wendy, she really
wants this.

Sal, two years ago, she was on the
Disney Channel speaking to a felt pig.

True, but she wants
to change her image.

I gotta say, she does have
an enormous following,

and you will hate yourself
when Warner Bros.

Snatches her up for
a remake of The Accused.

She's up for that, too.

Tell Josh to put her on
my phone sheet. Go.

Well, you can
tell her in person.

Abby will be sitting at your table
at the "Women in Media" lunch,

alongside her
motherlmanagerlacting coach.

Thank you.
So, you went to Pratt.

Design major?

Started there, then retail, finance,
finally ended up in marketing.

I should be writing all of this down.
I'm sorry.

I'm not usually
this scattered.

I had a really long...
Really long night.

I figured.
Yeah.

Those are
my father's panties.

Beg your pardon?

That you're sitting on.

My granddaddy started
the company Savoy Silk,

mostly nightgowns
and foundation garments,

but then my father branched
out into underpants.

So, wait. Your family
owns Savoy Silk?

Why do you want
to work for me?

Uh...

Because you're
an amazing designer.

Well, thank you,
but I can't imagine...

Ms. Ford, my family and their
business are a long way from here.

That's no accident.

I moved to New York to
become my own person.

Excuse me.

Ah!
May I?

Victory Ford Studio.

Yes, I have Joe Bennett
for Ms. Ford?

Hold, please.
Joe Bennett.

Oh, I'll just
call him back.

She'll have to return.

He just needs her
for one minute.

He just needs you
for one minute?

All right then.

Uh, what's happening?

I'm waiting for Mr. Bennett.

I put him on
when Ms. Ford gets on.

Not when you initiate the call.
Would you like us to return?

No. Hold on.

Victory? Hold, please,
for Victory Ford.

Ellen, what the hell
is going on?

Hi, Joe.

You're hired.

Lenses.
Oh!

Have you met
the Prince before?

Yes,
at the Queen Mum's...

Ah, Nico, there you are.

Hector, I've been looking
for you everywhere.

Really? How did you
know I'd be here?

Well, I mean,
why wouldn't you?

How often is it that you get
to meet a real prince?

Can I help you
find something?

Yeah, a cot.
I'm moving in.

Oh, my God. It's you,
from today's paper. "Bad Mommy."

Uh, could I try this
in a seven, please?

Just ignore it.

You're in heaven, dude.
Smell the suede.

What age do you think is
too young for a cell phone?

Six. We talking
about Taylor?

Yes.

How about these?
Oh, yummy.

But would you wear it?

No, I was thinking
of these for Maddie.

I love it. Do you
really want to spend...

No. Well, yeah. No.

You know what?
Why not?

They're pretty
high-end, Wen.

I mean, does Maddie even have
a dress to wear them with,

or somewhere to go?

You know what? You're right.
I think she needs a whole new outfit.

Where's she going?

I'll think of something.

Oh, hey.
Sorry I'm late. Hey.

Wow. This is
a religious experience.

I know.
So?

Spill. How was he?

What do you mean?

Uh, you just
spent the morning

with the future
King of England.

Did we get an invite to
Buckingham Palace or not?

Please say yes,
because I would like to wear these,

and maybe nothing else.

Can't wait to
see that curtsy.

It was fine. You know. He's reserved,
shy, British, didn't say much.

Well, maybe he's
saving it up for a text.

It's someone from the "Women in
Media" lunch, seating nonsense.

Tell them they can have my seat, too.
I think I might skip it.

Wendy, you're a key speaker.
You have to be there, and if not,

people will just assume
that you're home

beating your kids
with wire hangers.

Okay, you really do
need a volume button.

Oh, try this one on.
It looks so good on you.

Where is the salesperson?
Nico, stop.

Indulge yourself.
Dress for revenge. Live dangerously.

You've known me
for 20 years.

You know I don't
try on shoes in public.

Oh, come on.
No, no.

They marvel
at how big they are.

They bring out
measuring devices.

Well, I thought
a new store, maybe a...

The same feet.

Here, you try them on.
Me? I'm poor.

You're dating a billionaire.

Sometimes I'm poor
in a private plane.

So, when are we gonna meet this
phantom boyfriend of yours, anyway?

Yeah, what are
you hiding, huh?

Are his feet smaller
than mine?

I'm not hiding anything.

It's just, it's early,

and he's...
He's Joe Bennett.

Are you required always to use
his full name, even in bed?

Oh, my God, she had
to think about it.

Yeah, usually you can't
wait for our opinion.

We've hosted dinner parties that
were basically your second date.

He's different.

He rubs people the wrong way.
He's picky. He's rough.

Sounds charming.

So, we'll meet him tomorrow night.
Dinner at Nico's.

Call a caterer.

Hey.
Oh, this is Kirby Atwood.

He's Patty Bloom's assistant.
Yeah, she knows who I am.

Patty has some proof sheets she
wants you to take a look at.

Oh, great, come on in.
It's fine.

May I see the
pictures, please?

Thank you.

Stop it. I mean it.

Oh, got a little
chilly in here.

I mean it.
Don't move.

I want you to stand there like
you're standing in the office

of the President of the
United States, okay?

Hmm. This him?

Who?

Your husband.

That's Walter Cronkite.

You said he was older.

Let's not talk
about my husband.

Ask Patty to print the ones
that I circled.

You can go now.

But you didn't
return my message.

When are we gonna get to finish
what we started this morning?

Kirby, I can't do this here.

Oh, sure you can.
Let's just frost the glass.

Stop it. I mean it.
What's going on? Did you get busted?

No, I was just put
in a very awkward position.

You're the one who wanted
to do it against a window.

Kirby, this isn't a joke.
This is where I work.

Look, we're just...

We're gonna have
to continue this later.

But it will
be continued?

Yes.

Just don't keep me waiting
too long, Madam President.

It's painful.

It's not a party
or anything. It's just dinner.

Will there be other people
there beside you and me?

Well, yes, Wendy and Shane,
Nico and Charles.

Is Shane a person
or a dog?

It's her husband.

It's a good name
for a dog.

Oh, come on, Joe.
It's gonna be fun.

I get it. I get it.
The bill won't pass

until I'm officially stamped
by the House and the Senate.

Please?

When is it?
Tomorrow night.

Can't. I'm busy. No, you're not.
Roy checked with Ellen.

She said you're
free for dinner.

I doubt Ellen would give up
that kind of information.

Why are you so resistant?

I'm willing to
meet your friends.

Isn't it time?

Is that a yes?

Joe, will you?

Yes, on one condition.

What's that?

You meet mine first.

Studio.

Hey, Patty, it's Nico.

Hey!
Everything okay?

Yeah, it's great.
The proofs look fantastic.

We all set for the
Lance Armstrong shoot?

We will be. We will be.

Same crew?
Yeah, I think so. Why?

I just thought,
maybe, I don't know,

if you wanted to bring
a different assistant, I...

No Kirby?
Why? What did he do?

Oh, no, no,
he didn't do anything.

I just was feeling, maybe...

Did he call the Prince
"Big Willie" to his face?

It's not anything he said.

I just felt, maybe for this next shoot,
you know, you...

You want someone who
doesn't keep disappearing.

I hear you. It's done.
I'll take care of it, Nico.

Thanks, Patty.

Why are your friends
such early risers?

Are we going fishing?
You'll see.

Does this involve exercise?
Because I can say no, too.

We are going
to a cozy bistro

that serves the best bowl of
vichyssoise you have ever had.

Not only is
no exercise required,

I think it might be
banned in that country.

What country?
France.

We're having
dinner in Paris.

What are you talking about?
We're having dinner tonight at Nico's.

Later. First, we're
having one in Paris.

Pace yourself.

Do I have to get up
and say something?

No, you're here
as my guest.

Why? I've asked to go to, like,
a hundred of these things,

and you've never let me
skip school before.

You're not skipping.
You're having an educational experience.

This room's filled
with role models.

And you'll be back
by fifth period.

Do I get to keep the shoes,
or are they going back, too?

The shoes are a gift.

Still rather have one
that has speed dial.

Oh, look! There's Nico.

Hey, kid, look at you,
all dressed up and someplace to go.

Yeah.

Okay, don't panic. Janice Lasher's here,
over my right shoulder, slowly.

You should think about what
you're gonna do with your face.

Excuse me?

If you don't have a plan, you smile and
do that apologetic little half wave.

I will not be waving
to Janice Lasher.

Is that Abby Garcia?

Yeah. She's at our table.
Come on. Let's go.

Ladies,
can I get a picture?

Hold it!

Wendy. Elba Garcia.

Abby's mom.
We met at the Charlotte's Web premiere.

Of course. Yes.
This is my daughter, Maddie.

Glad you came, cutie!
You and Abby can text each other

during the boring speeches.

You are one
tough lady to reach,

but you got my messages, right?
The screenplay blew us away.

Abby's been dreaming
about it for days.

Are you talking
about Pink Poison?

If that doesn't put gold on your shelf,
there is no God.

Abby, put down that bread.

You remember Wendy Healy,
Parador Pictures.

Hi, Abby, how are you?

I'm chewing.
- This is Maddie.

Here, honey, have
a seat over there.

Oh, I think Maddie's
sitting next to me.

Oh, I did a little switch with the place cards,
so we could have a chance to chat.

You don't mind, do you?

Well... After they turn 12,
they wish we were dead.

I think it would be...

Maddie, if you miss
your mommy too much,

send some sort
of signal, okay?

I'd call, if I could.

Oh, you need a phone?

I do, but my mother doesn't trust me.
I'm not old enough.

Seriously? I've had a phone
since I was, like, nine.

Honey, don't sweat
the small stuff.

Give her the phone.
Be glad it's not an abortion.

Madelyn, please come here
and sit in this chair.

I've already sipped my water.

Then bring your glass and
yourself to this chair and sit.

Why? 'Cause I brought you
here and into this world,

and I want you sitting next to me.
Stop questioning me!

Evidently, she used this
place as a getaway,

so she could stay in town
and work in peace.

You like it?

I'm... I'm overwhelmed.

The caretaker said all
the furniture was original.

So, you're telling me that
Coco Chanel sat at this...

This desk and sketched and
looked out this window and...

Joe, how did you know
to take me here?

We're in Paris.
You're a designer.

Some dead designers won't
rent out their ateliers.

It was a process.

Oh, wow.

Do you know what this is?

Coco's dummy.

That's not a dummy. It's a dress form.
She wasn't a ventriloquist.

What are you doing?

Just touching it for luck.

Thank you.

Where are we
meeting your friends?

I don't have any friends
in France.

What? What does that mean?

The French do not have a gift
for friendship in my experience.

They do, however,
have a gift for romance.

And a special thanks
to Maybelline New York

for contributing
the beautiful gift bags.

Everyone knows
that running a film studio

is comparable to
raising a large family.

It requires discipline
and a great deal of nurturing.

Wendy Healy excels
in them both.

She's the ultimate
mother hen,

always inspiring,
always challenging... Psst!

This is where you blow
Mommy a big fat kiss.

Her friends
and her family.

Is that what I'm here for?

Her style as an executive
is a direct extension

of who she is
as a wife and a parent.

She exercises the same grace,
integrity and heart in the office,

as she does in the home.

Ladies,
please welcome Wendy Healy.

And having the good fortune
to be in this position,

I look forward to mentoring the next
generation of professional women.

Thank you.

Look who loves
the limelight.

Did you see
where Maddie went?

She probably went to get a Band-Aid.
Those are killers.

Excuse me.

Go ask her
for her gift bag.

But it's...
Shush!

Maddie?

Maddie?

Oh, there you are.
Those are nice.

Where's the show pony
you trotted out in them?

You don't want to mess
with me now, Janice.

Why? Having a bad day, Mommy?

Maybe you should've
worn an apron

and smeared some
cookie dough in your hair.

Nice try dragging
your kid in here,

trying to use her
for damage control.

Almost beats Martha Stewart snuggling
up for photos with her chow chows.

Nico, I gotta go.
Did you find Maddie?

She left.
I'll see you tonight.

Don't fill up on the bread. The bistro I
told you about is right around the corner.

Oh, don't give me this bread and then
tell me not to fill up on the bread.

Shouldn't we get to the bistro
before it gets too late?

Too late for what?

Uh, getting back
to New York, Joe.

Or we could just spend
the night in Paris.

I mean, we're here already.
I'm sure your friends wouldn't mind.

Joe Bennett,

did you fly me all the way
across the Atlantic Ocean

just to not have dinner
with my friends?

You go to a very dark place.

I know people pull some pretty
crazy stuff to get out of things.

I once had a seamstress
who faked a seizure

so she could take her kids
to see the Wiggles.

Victory, we will go
back to New York,

but can we please just go down
and savor a bowl of vichyssoise?

It's too late.
I already filled up on the bread.

Should we pick up Maddie
on the way? Shane?

Honey, she's got
a test tomorrow.

She's studying with Lauren and she's
spending the night there, okay?

So, just leave
it alone. Please.

You two could use some breathing room.
That just came for you.

Shane, I've just never seen
her act like this, you know?

It's not Maddie.

Oh, that's 14.
Get used to it.

She really misbehaved.

So did you, tiger.

I don't know what got into me. I saw blood
and that lipstick was the closest thing to it.

She is just so hateful.

Hey, you don't have to justify it to me.
I like this side of you.

It's kind of like sorority
girl meets women's prison.

Can I frisk you?

I really need to call
Maddie at Lauren's.

Come here.
Come here.

You need to release
some serious tension.

Janice had it
delivered to our apartment.

Somebody needs
a large glass of wine.

How about I bring you a
bottle with a straw, huh?

Please.
Yep.

So, what happened
with Maddie?

Oh, we haven't talked yet.

Is this really
about a cell phone?

Who knows?

Do you think I brought her there
today for the wrong reason?

Janice Lasher accused me of
using Maddie for damage control.

So what if you did? You know,
if that was my face on Page 6,

I would have brought
Maddie, Taylor,

three Cambodian orphans
and a basket of puppies.

It was not my intention.

I just thought
it would be a nice way to...

Forget it.
I keep making it worse.

I don't think you should worry
about Janice Lasher anymore.

Why? Is she dead?

That's a billionaire's ring.

I'll get it.
Like hell you will. Don't you move.

Hey.
Hi.

You made it.
Hi. Hi.

Hi.
Hi.

Joe.

Hi, everyone.
Hello, I'm Charles.

I'm Wendy.
Hi.

Joe, this is Wendy, Shane, Charles.
Can I take your coats?

Thank you.

Can I get you a glass of wine?
Yes, please.

None for me, thanks.

Thank you.
Thank you.

All right, go ahead.
Come on in.

All right, come with me.
Okay. Great.

Who do I talk to in regard
to the temperature?

That would be me.
My apartment, my thermostat.

Too warm for you?
About four degrees.

I have a few requests,
little things.

Otherwise, I have
no shot at being likeable.

I'd like to hear them.

Not everyone gets that far.

I can't believe it. He's already
turning this into a negotiation.

Relax. You wanted us
to get to know Joe,

this is us getting
to know Joe.

The main thing is, I'd like to
know what it is I'm saying yes to.

Meaning what time you're gonna be
sprung? If you have a rough idea.

Work with me,
and I'd say an hour and forty.

Great.

Why can't all conversations
be like this?

Mmm.

That might be my assistant.

She was gonna
bring my dinner.

That's a joke.

Come on. Let's go alienate
Shane and Wendy.

Excuse me.

What did you say to Patty?

Kirby, why would you come here?
What were you thinking?

I've left you five messages.
Kirby, I have guests here. This is...

Just tell me what you said!

I've worked with her for two years, and
now she won't even give me a reference.

Look, there must have been
a misunderstanding, okay?

I will fix it
tomorrow morning,

but right now,
you have to leave.

Nicky, everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.
I'll be right there.

Okay.

Please, Kirby,
you have to go now.

Hey. What was
all that about?

It was a messenger thing from the
office. They just needed my signature.

You okay?

This'll help.

Well, dinner's ready.
I'll get everyone seated, okay?

Okay.

All right, everyone,
dinner's ready.

Come on.
Let's sit down, huh?

So, we have been wanting
to do this for weeks.

Victory's crazy about you, and all we have
to go on is what we read in the papers,

and we all know
that's just a bunch of...

Oh, Wen, you're not still
thinking about that, are you?

No. No, no, no. Of course,
I'm fine. I'm done.

Well, if it's
any consolation,

newspaper circulation
is down 17%.

It's an endangered species.

So, that's
your excuse?

I beg your pardon?

Well, we hear story
after story about you,

but never anything
on your personal life.

You never submit to an interview.
What gives, Joe Bennett?

I'm a businessman,
not a pop star.

Did you tell him he has to be humble?
That's no fun.

You must be hiding something.

Not really.
I'm not that interesting.

Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.

If you want me to talk
about buying Japanese yen

at 2% on the Singapore spot market,
I am your man.

But if you are interested in
time when I'm not working...

That's called
your personal life.

Yeah, that, I'm really kind of a late
bloomer, sort of behind the curve.

But I seem to be
finding my footing.

You don't think
we left too early, do you?

It's 3:30, Paris time.

Thank you.

For?

Doing this.

Wendy and Nico
really liked you.

I don't know why I was so nervous.
You liked them, too, right?

Sure, yeah.
They're fine.

Yeah, they seemed distracted.
I don't know. I guess it was work stuff,

but next time we do this,
we should do a Sunday.

Wendy and Shane love
to throw brunches,

and their kids are great,
and...

Well, what are you
doing this Sunday?

Why would I need
to see them again?

I thought you said
you liked them.

I did. And according
to you, it's mutual, so...

I'm done, right?

What do you mean, "done"?

You didn't
unclog my toilet, Joe.

You met my best friends.
And they're more than fine.

Of course they are.

You need to understand
something, Joe Bennett.

Wendy and Nico were
there for me

when I was living on yogurt
and sunflower seeds

and putting
in 20-hour workdays

just to get
my first show together.

They introduced
me to everyone

when there was
nothing in it for them

but a thank you, and I was too
young and stupid even to say that.

I should have said they were great.
When I left college,

I made the mistake of falling in love
with the first guy that asked me out.

He worked for Wendy. She warned
me that he would break my heart,

and he did, and Wendy and Nico
took me under their wing,

and they are... Well,
they're a hell of a lot more than fine.

No, it switched to great a minute ago.
You missed that.

They're more
than great, Joe!

They're my family.

Then you're lucky
to have them.

But not everyone
is looking for family.

You coming in?

No.

I just...

I think I need to get home.

Kirby Atwood is
waiting in your office.

You have an appointment
across town in 20.

Should I tell them
you'll be late?

You're early.

Well, my schedule's
suddenly wide open.

Well, I needed the extra time to put
out feelers to see if anyone needs help.

Patty Bloom is not the only
working photographer in this city.

You didn't even call
her back, did you?

I can't.

There's nothing that I could say
that wouldn't make matters worse.

For me or for you?
For both of us.

Look, if nothing comes up in the
next week or so, you'll be fine.

You'll find another job, and in the meantime,
here's something to hold you over.

I didn't come here
for your...

I thought
you'd want to see me.

Kirby, look, I can't do
this right now, okay?

I have a million
phone calls to return,

and I'm already late
for an appointment.

Yeah.

Didn't I see you
at the Prince William shoot?

I'm Mike. Mike Harness.

Well, anyway,
you're being pleasant to him lately.

That's something.

That's because he stopped
trying to rule the roost.

Anything settled yet?

Like what?
The wedding.

I'm Ellen,
Joe Bennett's assistant.

- Oh, right.
- I spoke with you.

I have a delivery.

Oh, great.

Wow.
Come on.

Ms. Ford, Ellen brought a...
Greetings.

I have been asked by Mr. Bennett
to personally escort a gift.

Whatever it is, Ellen,
please, escort it back.

I don't need any more gifts
from Mr. Bennett.

Please, you don't
have to unwrap that.

Yes! You do.
They've already been tipped.

That's a gift?
It looks used.

It was, by Coco Chanel.

Anything you want me
to tell Mr. Bennett?

I'm impressed.

Not you.

Please, just wrap it up
and take it back.

Now!

Are you sure about this?

Even if we just kept it for a day,
put it on eBay?

What's this?

It's a terrific script
I want Abby to read.

We've just optioned it, and a
wonderful director's come on board.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I thought we were
here to talk Pink Poison.

We are.

I just thought Abby might
respond to this one even more.

The author wrote a series
of young adult books.

We're not doing any more kiddie
parts, Wendy. That's over.

Is this the same guy
who wrote Fallen Angels?

I love...

You love Pink Poison.
Okay?

Let's not make love lists.

Wendy, we know everyone's got
an opinion about who should

and shouldn't take their
clothes off on the big screen,

and out of respect,
we want to involve you in this process,

so you feel ownership of
whichever way we decide to go.

Is that
what I think it is?

Oh, this one is a 34-D.

But on Abby, it looks
like a 36-triple-E.

She's very
slim-hipped, so...

Josh.

Is Will Danovitch
still here?

Abby, the director
of that script

that you're holding
is down the hall,

and I have a feeling
you two will...

Wendy, I...
Excuse me!

Josh, would you please
introduce Abby to Will?

They can use
the conference room.

Are those...
Just take her.

Elba, I'm going to be candid.

Part of my job is to see
trouble before it happens.

Nice work,
if you can get it.

And I am sensing that you may want
Pink Poison much more than Abby.

And there's nothing
worse than forcing

a young, impressionable
person into a situation

where they're not
totally comfortable.

Well, she can't spend
the rest of her life

in a jumper talking
to a felt pig.

She also can't be used
to realize your ambition.

I'm doing the best job
I can for my client.

Your client needs a mother
right now more than a manager.

How did you get in here?

Through the door.
Shall I do it again?

Look, I know
who your BFF is,

and unless you came
here to pay

for my dry-cleaning bill,
beat it.

Janice, your feud with Wendy has
escalated way out of proportion.

Don't come in here and
act all grand, Nico Reilly.

You may have lost the accent,

but we both know you're a Greek
girl from Flushing, Queens,

whose daddy ran a diner.

You want to talk about
what's out of proportion?

Your pal, Saint Wendy,
didn't just pull out of a bidding war,

she went on record last year
to say that I publish trash.

She didn't give a damn
about my reputation.

I'm just returning the favor.

Well, you're gonna have
to find another way.

Your book on Wendy is dead.

Dead? Far from it.
I'm launching the website,

Grand slam on bad mam. Com.

We're done here.

Re-heat!

Who the hell are you,
sweater boy?

This is Harold.
He's your new assistant.

Where's Nora?

She's sitting in a spacious
office over at Bonfire.

I hired her to do nothing but
type up Janice Lasher stories,

and she's got quite a few.

I'll send you
an advanced copy

before we run your
"Lost weekend in Bangkok."

Who knew you could do that
with a ping-pong ball?

Don't look so shocked, Janice.
I had to come here.

That's what friends do
for each other.

You'd know, if you had any.

Hey.
Hey.

Can I come in,
or are you gonna send me back to France?

Are we alone, or is your cracker
assistant still lurking around?

Roy left.

Ah.

I already miss him.

So, help me out here.
Did we have a fight last night,

and if so,
in which time zone?

It wasn't a fight.

I just...

I just need to figure
some things out.

And this is all
because I don't want

to have Sunday brunch
with Wendy and Shane

and Little Shane
and Baby Shane?

This is about you not wanting
to be a part of my world.

What?

Look, if I lived
in your world,

I wouldn't want to
leave it that often, either.

It's like a carnival ride
of life's greatest hits.

Dinner in Paris,

closing down Harrods
so you could shop alone,

jetting off to Alaska
to see the northern lights,

buying Coco Chanel's dummy.

Dress form.
Whatever.

It's beyond amazing.

And I've loved
every second of it.

But my world is
pretty interesting, too.

And I don't want to be like
those rich couples in the movies

that sit on opposite ends of a
long table, just the two of us.

I love those scenes.

I don't like extras in movies.
Get rid of them.

Victory, when we are together,
it is not my world, it is our world.

Excuse me.

Look,

my business demands

being in meetings with people from
the moment I get up in the morning.

When my day is done,

I don't want to
make small talk.

I just want to
be with you.

It's just who I am.

I don't think
I could change that.

Hey.
Hey.

Where's Dad?

He took Taylor to karate.

How'd you do on your test?

What are you reading?

The book that
put us on Page 6.

Where'd you get that?
I threw it out.

I know. I dug it up.

There's still coffee grounds
on Page 16 and 17,

but I think
I've read enough.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm sorry I took you
to that luncheon.

I convinced myself
it would be good for you,

but the truth is,
it was just about me.

I went out of my way to
disprove that stupid book,

and I ended up giving
Janice Lasher a sequel.

No, I did that.

I was a total brat.

I'm sorry.

Me, too.

So, can you stop acting strange
and just go back to being annoying?

I'll do my best.

Well, at least you got to skip
school and meet Abby Garcia.

Yeah, but it was
kind of weird, though.

Why?

Because the whole time,
I just kept feeling sorry for her.

Her mother scooped the mashed
potatoes off of her plate,

slapped her hand every time
she reached for the butter.

That mother, she's...

That's all she's got.

I could do a lot worse.

Oh, sweetheart.

Nico, have a seat.

I brought you the draft of the Prince William
interview. I think you're gonna love it.

Well, let's get to that in a moment,
shall we?

Question,

who is Kirby Atwood?

I'm sorry?

Kirby Atwood,
do you know him?

I'm not sure that I do.

Then why is he claiming
you sexually harassed him?