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1
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,080
[suspenseful music playing]
2
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,160
I'm requisitioning some demons.
3
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,560
- Oh, yeah.
- I have full authorization from Beelzebub.
4
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,040
I can launch
a demonic invasion upon London.
5
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,760
Demons?
6
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:31,720
I want only the worst, I want
the worst of the worst, I want killers.
7
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:32,840
Mm-hmm.
8
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,200
Right, so how many?
9
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,360
- 10,000 demons.
- [tense music playing]
10
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,360
[laughs]
11
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:44,680
Sorry, I thought you said 10,000.
12
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,520
[magical music playing]
13
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,320
- [door opens]
- [music intensifies]
14
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,240
- Are you actually going through with this?
- Indeed, I am.
15
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,920
Can I watch?
16
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:19,720
[door opens]
17
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,480
Oh, that's most appropriate.
18
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,840
I'll need you to bring
that with you tonight.
19
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,040
- Mm-hmm?
- Oh, it's very important.
20
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,840
'Cause I'll need musicians at the Whickber
Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association
21
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,680
monthly meeting this evening.
22
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,520
I trust we'll see you there,
with your harpsichord.
23
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,440
Erm... no, thank you.
24
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,800
There will be sandwiches.
25
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,080
I went to one meeting ten years ago,
26
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,440
they were wittering on
about the Christmas lights
27
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,280
and passed a resolution
condemning the improper use
28
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,760
of apostrophes on signs in windows.
29
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,320
There is literally nothing
that would get me there tonight.
30
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,760
I see...
31
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,360
Very well.
32
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,880
You leave me with no alternative.
33
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,120
I have... at the back of my bookshop...
34
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,760
a 1965 Doctor Who Annual.
35
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,800
There was no 1965 Doctor Who Annual.
36
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,440
The first one was covered in 1966.
Publish...
37
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,360
September 1965.
38
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,360
The 1965 Annual was indeed never printed,
39
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,120
due to problems at the BBC.
40
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:24,880
Mine...
41
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,360
is the only known proof copy.
42
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,160
You'll let me look at it?
43
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:36,120
If you are at the meeting this evening,
with perhaps a quartet of musicians?
44
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,400
I'll let you have it.
45
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:42,520
[giggles]
46
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,680
[bell rings]
47
00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:46,816
You just did what I think you did?
48
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,016
I'm not prepared to talk about it.
49
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,320
- You gave away a book.
- I had to.
50
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,240
Maggie and Nina are depending on me.
51
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:56,960
They just don't know it yet.
52
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,760
A thousand...
53
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,800
blood-thirsty demons.
54
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,640
[tense music playing]
55
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,680
[Shax] We are in Hell.
56
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,600
I have authorization from Beelzebub.
57
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,200
You can have authorization
from Satan himself love,
58
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,000
if I don't have them
I can't send them over.
59
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,200
I'll give you a malignant
and creeping sense of unease if you like.
60
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:18,840
Why would I want a creep?
61
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,040
Five hundred.
62
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,560
There must be 500 foot soldiers.
63
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,640
What they for?
64
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,040
Attacking a bookshop.
65
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:31,040
Don't tell anybody,
but we may be battling angels.
66
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,680
[tense music intensifies]
67
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,720
I'll do you 100.
68
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,920
- What's...
- It has just dropped to 70.
69
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000
I'll take them.
70
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,840
[magical music playing]
71
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,040
[door shuts]
72
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,240
[man] Hello.
73
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,280
What can I do you gentleman for?
74
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,600
It's about the monthly
shopkeepers meeting, tonight.
75
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:06,000
Under no circumstances
can I there be for tonight.
76
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,520
It is my wedding anniversary
77
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,480
and I am taking
my beloved spouse out to dinner.
78
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,360
I have a first edition
79
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,360
of S. W. Erdnase's
Expert at the Card Table.
80
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,240
[soft music playing]
81
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,800
- You've got a first edition?
- It was Erdnase's own copy.
82
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,240
He signed it with his real name.
83
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,240
And annotated it.
84
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,160
- How much?
- [laughing] It's not for sale.
85
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,360
[clears throat] However...
86
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,360
if you come to the meeting tonight,
87
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,640
I might be willing
88
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:52,920
to lend it to you.
89
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,440
I'll tell the spouse something came up
90
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,080
[Aziraphale] Bring them along too.
91
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,640
I can promise you,
it will be quite a night.
92
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,520
[humming]
93
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,680
[clears throat]
94
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,760
[bell rings]
95
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,240
Hello, Ms. Cheng.
96
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,800
There is a meeting tonight...
97
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,360
The Street Traders?
98
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,336
Yes, Mr. Cheng and I will be there.
What time does it start?
99
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,760
6:30.
100
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,120
See you there! Have a good day!
101
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,360
[microphone interference sounds]
102
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,640
Greetings.
103
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,720
Listen to me now.
104
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,200
Oh, legions of hell.
105
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,360
Our mission...
106
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:44,920
[shouting] Excuse me?
107
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,520
[sighs] What is it?
108
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,760
[Eric] Erm...
109
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,240
A legion is like,
110
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,480
about 6,000 demons.
111
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,960
Yes, I know.
112
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,120
Tonight, we launch an attack,
113
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:10,040
unprecedented in its audacity,
114
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,960
unique in its...
115
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:15,480
Yes, what?
116
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,720
Technically, we're only about...
117
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,760
one seventy-fifth of a legion.
118
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,520
I know,
119
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,280
but what we lack in numbers,
120
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,920
we make up for in ferocity.
121
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,400
And...
122
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,040
- Scariness?
- No.
123
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,080
Lost it now.
124
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,080
Ferocity and...
125
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,280
danger!
126
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,360
Ascertain,
127
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,640
for we are demons
and they are but poultry humans.
128
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,920
[demon] So we're not going up
against Angels, then?
129
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,080
Because he said
we were going up against Angels.
130
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,960
- Who said that?
- Fofo.
131
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,240
- Is it true?
- We are going to Earth.
132
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,240
To London.
133
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,840
To storm a bookshop.
134
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,160
[suspenseful music playing]
135
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:13,720
[speaking French]
136
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,000
Mr. Phale, I speak fluent English.
137
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,960
I've been living here for 15 years.
138
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,080
[in French] Excellent.
139
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,480
Well... Erm...
140
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,920
[continues speaking French]
141
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,000
Mr. Phale, if it's about
the street traders meeting,
142
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,360
I can be there, but only until seven,
143
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,640
as we start to get really busy then.
144
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:56,400
[continues speaking French]
145
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,360
Yes, 6:30. See you there.
146
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,760
[speaking French]
147
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,440
[Eric]
So you can guarantee no Angels, then?
148
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,600
Some of those Angels
are right dangerous bastards.
149
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,800
We could be permanently discorporated.
150
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,920
What I can guarantee you,
151
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,640
sunshine,
152
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:22,040
is, if you interrupt me one more time,
153
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,120
you will regret it forever.
154
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,240
Understood?
155
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,200
[suspenseful music playing]
156
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,040
You speak every language in the world,
157
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,400
- we both do.
- Yes.
158
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:40,120
- So what's with the French?
- Oh, I learned that, pfft... the hard way.
159
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,520
I went to Monsieur Rossignol's
night classes in 1760.
160
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,600
[speaking French]
161
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,720
You don't have an aunt, she doesn't have
a gardener, he doesn't have a pen.
162
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,360
But you understood me.
163
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,160
Only because for 250 years
you've been wittering on about
164
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,480
the plume of your imaginary taunt.
165
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,400
Bravo. Just enjoying the show.
166
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,080
Ah. Erm...
167
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,640
Street Association meeting
tonight at 6:30 in my shop,
168
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,960
perfectly ordinary invitation
with no hidden agenda of any kind.
169
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,520
Are they going to talk about the Christmas
lights? Because I have things to say.
170
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,720
- Yes.
- I'll be there.
171
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,576
[Nina] He's never hosted a meeting, ever.
Why the change of heart?
172
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,880
He's unpredictable.
173
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,960
He's discovered his civic obligations.
174
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,640
You've been together long?
175
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,520
- Who?
- You and your partner.
176
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,760
Oh, no, no, it's not...
it's not like that.
177
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:39,840
It certainly looks like that from here.
178
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,440
Oh so you've just recently hooked up.
179
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,016
- [stuttering] No, we...
- You got a husband?
180
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,280
Or a boyfriend? Is the book selling
your bit on the side?
181
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,200
He's not my bit on the side.
182
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,640
I'm far too pure of heart
to be anybody's bit on the side.
183
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,160
- He's just an angel, I know.
- [Nina] If you say so.
184
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,200
But then again, other people's love lives
185
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,400
always seem so much more
straightforward than our own.
186
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,760
[soft music playing]
187
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,120
[Shax] We leave at nightfall.
188
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:21,000
Masks will be provided
for those who can't...
189
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,160
blend in.
190
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,520
We use the big transporter.
191
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,520
- Erm...
- What? What is it?
192
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,176
[Eric]
The big transporter is out of service.
193
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,440
We'll have to use
the little transporter, one at a time.
194
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,400
Or take the stairs. [laughs]
195
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,040
- [lightning noise]
- [demon screaming]
196
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,520
- [explosion]
- [demons gasping]
197
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,400
[sighs]
198
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,080
We take the stairs.
199
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,960
[intro theme music playing]
200
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,120
[Crowley whistles]
201
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:33,840
[door shuts]
202
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,680
Do you want a glass?
203
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,880
I'm at work and I have a meeting.
204
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,440
I need to prepare for...
why don't you wait inside?
205
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,720
- You like waiting inside.
- I don't think so.
206
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,680
You've got an amnesiac Archangel
hiding out in your bookshop.
207
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,456
I spent last night worrying
if he's going to wake up.
208
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,680
What if he remembers who he is,
what if he's faking it?
209
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,640
He could smite me.
When Gabriel smites you, you've been...
210
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,200
- Smited? Smut?
- Smitten.
211
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,680
I believe. You're being silly.
212
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,960
It's perfectly safe. He's not...
213
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,200
you know who, any long...
well, I mean, he is, but...
214
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,640
Have you thought of just talking to him?
215
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,160
Actually, I will.
216
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,480
[suspenseful music playing]
217
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,840
[phone beeps]
218
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,320
[phone beeps]
219
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,400
[phone beeps]
220
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000
[thud]
221
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:50,480
Fuck!
222
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,520
[sad music playing]
223
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:01,680
[giggles]
224
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,880
[drunkenly] Let there be light.
225
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,040
[tense music playing]
226
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,200
Hello, Gabriel.
227
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,080
Neat.
228
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,960
- But I'm...
- Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
229
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,200
You're Jim now.
230
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,880
Got everything just the way you wanted?
231
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,960
Oh, yes, Mr. Phale's been very good to me.
232
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,640
Hasn't he just? Surprising, really,
233
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,560
given that the last time you two met
234
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,800
you tried to destroy him.
235
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,960
- I... I don't remember that.
- No, Jim? Oh.
236
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:53,640
[clicks tongue]
237
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,400
Well, Mr. Phale
doesn't remember it either.
238
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,720
He wasn't there, you see. [giggles]
239
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,280
- He wasn't there?
- Long story, but...
240
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,440
I was there.
241
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,720
And I do remember,
242
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:12,960
oh, very clearly,
the look on your face, Archangel Gabriel.
243
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:20,560
When you told my only friend
to shut his stupid mouth and die.
244
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,200
And I...
245
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,120
did not...
246
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,960
care for it.
247
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,160
I don't think that was me,
248
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:33,520
but I'm very sorry.
249
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,576
I hope I'm not causing
too much trouble now.
250
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,440
More bad news for you then, Jimmy boy.
251
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,320
You're making him risk
his entire existence
252
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,000
- for you.
- Oh, dear.
253
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,160
I really am sorry.
254
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,760
- Is there anything I can do?
- Oh, yeah.
255
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:52,760
Now. [sniffs]
256
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,920
Jump out of that window.
257
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:57,800
All right.
258
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,880
[window opening]
259
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,040
[music intensifies]
260
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,320
Stop!
261
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,960
Ugh, get down.
262
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,680
Well, if you're really not him,
263
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,280
what are you?
264
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,320
I don't know, I feel...
265
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,520
like,
266
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,560
an empty...
267
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,440
- house.
- A house?
268
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,520
Yes, a house someone lived
for a very long time,
269
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,400
but now they're gone
270
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,200
and the house can sort of tell
where the things used to be.
271
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,160
Like when I remembered how it all began.
272
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,720
When you first arrived,
you said you were here
273
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,080
because they were planning
to do something terrible to you.
274
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,600
So you remembered it then.
275
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,240
Remember it now.
276
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,360
It hurts to remember.
My head isn't built for that.
277
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,000
I know, do it anyway.
278
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,760
- It's not, I don't have my memory.
- Well, where is your memory, then?
279
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,440
[soft music playing]
280
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,960
In a matchbox.
281
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,240
No, I took it out, first.
282
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,920
- You took your memory out of a matchbox?
- Yes, that's right.
283
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,560
I took it out and I put it in the box
and I brought it here.
284
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,080
- And it's...
- Yes?
285
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,160
- Everywhere.
- Ah, what else do you remember?
286
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,680
If it happens again I can make it seem
like it's an institutional problem.
287
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,760
- What?
- I don't know, I'm just... [grunts]
288
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,960
I know, looking at
where the furniture isn't.
289
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,000
[sighs]
290
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,200
Do you...
291
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,080
want a hot chocolate?
292
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,320
[rapid music playing]
293
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,720
So what have you learnt about the miracle?
294
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,080
I'm in the process of verifying it,
but, of course,
295
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,400
you can only tell if people are in love
by waiting a few days,
296
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,880
because humans are weird
and that's how it works.
297
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,160
I knew that. Any leads on Gabriel?
298
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,160
Oh, right. Well...
299
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,320
he's definitely not in the shop.
300
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,720
Does that count as a lead?
It is just Aziraphale.
301
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,520
- The traitor?
- Yes.
302
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,560
He seemed very...
303
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,480
- Traitorous.
- Hmm...
304
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,080
- And his grumpy friend, Mr. Crowley.
- The demon.
305
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,560
Oh, I suppose that
explains the grumpiness.
306
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,960
Oh, and, of course, his...
307
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,880
assistant?
308
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,000
- But I don't think I saw him.
- His assistant?
309
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,080
- He doesn't have an assistant.
- No.
310
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,080
Sorry, I don't know why I said that.
311
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,960
Does he? Does he?
312
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,920
Didn't we meet a someone, something...
313
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,920
- about... books?
- No, no.
314
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,080
Aziraphale himself, he likes books.
315
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:06,800
Yes.
316
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,400
Of course.
317
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:10,680
Yes?
318
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,480
I don't know if it helps, but...
319
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,320
at one point Mr. Phale and Mr...
320
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,720
I mean, the traitor and the demon,
321
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,720
had a secret meeting
about what to do next.
322
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:20,800
Ah.
323
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,640
And?
324
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,720
- What?
- What did they say?
325
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,320
Oh, I didn't listen.
They said it was private. [chuckles]
326
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,400
Thank you.
327
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,560
- You're really nice.
- Don't thank me.
328
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,400
And I'm not.
329
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,280
Oh, nobody would believe you anyway.
330
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,560
[magical noises]
331
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,960
[rumbling]
332
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,320
- What are you doing?
- Just making space for...
333
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,560
everything that needs to happen.
334
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,520
You're up to something, I can smell it.
What are you planning?
335
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,680
Wait and see.
336
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,640
Wait and see? Do you have
any idea how irritating that is?
337
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,000
Yes, now, if you're going to
stand here and just carp,
338
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,080
perhaps you could check in
on Nina or Maggie
339
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,160
and make sure they are on their way.
340
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,080
[soft music playing]
341
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,560
[door shuts]
342
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,680
[magical music playing]
343
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,560
[lively music playing]
344
00:20:58,920 --> 00:20:59,960
[bell rings, door shuts]
345
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,880
I don't know why you invited me,
Mr. Phale.
346
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,560
Well, you are a Whickber Street trader,
Mrs. Sandwich.
347
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,720
- And a pillar of the community.
- That's as may be.
348
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,560
But it's the after work rush and the
several regulars gonna need seeing to.
349
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,800
I'm sure you young ladies
know what to do by now.
350
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,560
- Well, if you put it like that.
- I've never asked,
351
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,560
what exactly is it that they do do?
352
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,720
They stand on their own two feet.
353
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,760
Like the government said.
354
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,280
Ah.
355
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:30,920
[knocking on window]
356
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:40,080
Just here to tell you the Street Traders
Association meeting is starting now.
357
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,976
[Maggie]
I never miss a meeting, I'll be there.
358
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,080
Not a problem.
359
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:45,280
[door shuts]
360
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,240
[door shuts]
361
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,440
Seats? Mr. Phale, where are the seats
I dropped off for the meeting?
362
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,080
- No point.
- No point?
363
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,736
We'd only have to move them away again
when the dancing begins, wouldn't we?
364
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,040
Better to keep them for later.
365
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:02,520
Dancing?
366
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:04,640
[mysterious music playing]
367
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,280
[door shuts]
368
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,400
[Crowley]
"Give me coffee or give me death"
369
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,880
Funny name for a coffee shop.
370
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,536
Everything else was taken,
what do you want?
371
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,080
- Just to remind you about the...
- The meeting? I'm not coming.
372
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,720
- You have to.
- No, I don't. My...
373
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,720
My partner, Lindsay, has texted
374
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,040
and it's now my former partner.
375
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,456
And I'm buggered if I'm gonna talk about
the stupid Christmas lights tonight,
376
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,056
so I'm going home and gonna drink
myself senseless and have a good cry.
377
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,800
- in an empty flat.
- Don't do that.
378
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,600
- Why not?
- It may not be safe. Something's going on.
379
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,280
Something's wrong.
380
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,720
Well, lots of things are wrong right now,
381
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,960
but right now it's coming in waves.
382
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,320
- Like a hangover.
- I'm going home.
383
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,200
You'd be safer in there. My friend
wouldn't let anything happen to you.
384
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,800
Jeez, for once
in your life trust somebody.
385
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,240
- You're weird.
- Arg, do it!
386
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,840
[suspenseful music playing]
387
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,440
[door shuts]
388
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,520
I'm going mad.
389
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,040
For my dear, it is Nina,
purveyor of coffee for all our needs.
390
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,800
Charmed, I'm sure.
391
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,320
Ah, bonsoir. It is,
how do you say, a fine night for dancing.
392
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,520
Justine, what's going on?
393
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,320
[Arnold]
Why, our good mistress coffee seller.
394
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,600
Tonight is a meeting
of the Whickber Street Traders
395
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,360
and shopkeepers Association.
396
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,560
We all are partaking
of the hospitality of Mr. Phale.
397
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,520
Hello, would you like to try one of these
tiny little dinners? They are free.
398
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,760
Ah, Nina!
399
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,440
Oh, I'm so glad you are here.
400
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,200
The dancing is about to begin.
401
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,560
I know I'm really upset,
why don't I feel upset?
402
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,800
Ah, no long faces tonight.
403
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,760
I just want to see you
young people enjoying yourselves.
404
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,840
Dancing?
405
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,680
Well, it wouldn't be
a Shopkeepers Association meeting
406
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,040
without dancing, would it?
407
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,576
Look, I don't know what's going on but
your friend said I was in danger
408
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,880
and now I'm in here
and you're all acting...
409
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,120
- And I'm losing my fucking mind.
- Well, now you're here,
410
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,240
that's the main thing.
You're definitely safe
411
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,040
in here.
412
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,720
[Mr. Brown]
Excellent eventide to you, mistress Nina,
413
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,080
I trust we'll tread a measure together
414
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,520
before tonight's
Shopkeepers Association meeting is over.
415
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,680
I just wanted to talk
about the Christmas lights
416
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:27,920
[door shuts]
417
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,040
[suspenseful music plays]
418
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,920
[demons grunting]
419
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,840
Who are you?
420
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,560
Who sent you?
421
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,400
[demon grunting]
422
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,760
You're demons.
423
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,600
Junior bottom of the barrel demons,
424
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,840
practically the damp.
425
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,680
What are you doing here?
What are any of you doing here?
426
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,800
You can't just manifest
and cause trouble, there are rules.
427
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:07,040
- Give us the Angel.
- We want Gabriel.
428
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,200
[shouting] You are out of order!
429
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,240
[door shuts]
430
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,680
[lively music playing]
431
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,840
[woman] What exactly is your profession?
432
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,560
I'm a seamstress.
433
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,760
Indeed a worthy craft. [laughs]
434
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,600
No, I'm not a seamstress.
435
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,040
I'm a seamstress.
436
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:39,520
[laughs]
437
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,440
The devil take it.
438
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,600
- A seamstress.
- What, in short?
439
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,080
- You are a seamstress.
- No, I'm not a benighted seamstress.
440
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:49,880
I'm a God forsaken...
441
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,560
seamstress. [laughs]
442
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,960
[laughing] Why can I not say
the word seamstress.
443
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,240
Perhaps if you were to
describe the profession.
444
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,360
Nah, the very thing, I thank you.
445
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,840
Well, when a gentleman finds himself
446
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,240
in want of
the tender attentions of a wife,
447
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,240
he may take himself to my establishment
448
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,880
and there have his pick
of a fine stable of ladies
449
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,320
all able and willing to mend his shirt
450
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,800
or darn his socks
451
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,520
or even... sew on a button.
452
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,960
But that's extra, and all the girls do it.
453
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:29,320
Oh.
454
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,920
A seamstress. [laughs]
455
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,560
[applause]
456
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,040
[soft music playing]
457
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:43,400
[giggles]
458
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,760
- What are you doing?
- I told you.
459
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,520
Jane Austen. We're having a Ball.
460
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:01,816
I've gotta talk to you, it's important.
461
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,496
I'm afraid I'm hosting a business meeting,
462
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,376
I'll be with you
in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
463
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,480
Have a vol-au-vent.
464
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,240
[melodical music playing]
465
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,160
- [Maggie] This is something new.
- This is something completely bonkers.
466
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,520
Why is everyone talking like
they just came from Pride and Prejudice?
467
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,920
Just getting into
the spirit of things, I suppose.
468
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,280
Spirit of what things?
469
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:42,880
This is meant to be the Shopkeepers
Association monthly meeting.
470
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,640
Oh, yes.
471
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:46,560
Well, when you put it like that.
472
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,920
Are we dancing?
473
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:50,640
Yes.
474
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,760
Did you ever learn
the steps to this dance?
475
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,800
It's just what we do, isn't it?
476
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,040
No. No, it isn't.
477
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:01,000
This is something mad.
478
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,400
This is their fault.
479
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,360
They are doing this.
480
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,320
[sighs]
481
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,800
[thud]
482
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,160
[mysterious music playing]
483
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,000
[laughter]
484
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,400
I am an assistant book seller,
these are not books.
485
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,920
They are good old pieces of food
and I am not selling them,
486
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:43,600
I'm giving them away.
487
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,640
Then most certainly
we must indulge ourselves.
488
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,240
Oh.
489
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,240
Oh, great...
490
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,440
We shall want another one presently.
491
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:58,360
It is seldom indeed that our little
village has the fortune to welcome one so
492
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:03,600
amiable, so gentile and,
if you'll allow me sir, so well made,
493
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,720
in form and feature.
494
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,080
This, it's neat,
495
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,680
isn't it? I'm still working out
all the things it can do.
496
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,200
- I discovered a new one in bed last night.
- [laughing]
497
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,760
Would you like me to show you?
498
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,800
I must confess you interests us strangely.
499
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,440
Here, here, watch, watch, watch.
500
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,120
[cheeks making noise]
501
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,040
[laughing]
502
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,960
Making a blend is one thing,
but a Ball with,
503
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,040
look there's something wrong.
There is something really wrong.
504
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,360
Well, perhaps you could tell me
505
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,160
while we dance.
506
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:49,560
We don't dance.
507
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,760
[suspenseful music playing]
508
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,800
[lift voice] Doors opening. Earth.
509
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:05,480
[music intensifies]
510
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,320
- [music stops]
- [demons grunting]
511
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:20,720
How sweet.
512
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:22,960
They're having a party.
513
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,120
- What do we do?
- I'm not sure.
514
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,560
Not having a very good day.
My partner, Lindsay,
515
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,120
has gone.
516
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:32,920
Was it my fault?
517
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,800
What? No.
518
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,800
Not really.
519
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,120
That night was the last straw of...
520
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:41,920
it's been coming for a long time.
521
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,000
I don't think Lindsay
actually liked me very much.
522
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,800
- And, well, I know I'm hard work.
- I...
523
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,040
I mean...
524
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,360
I'm not afraid of hard work.
525
00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,720
Hell has sent demons.
526
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,600
They are milling around outside,
they want Gabriel.
527
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,880
We're perfectly safe in here.
528
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,480
Technically, this bookshop
still counts as an embassy.
529
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,280
I think you need to stop this charade
530
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,080
and we need to work out what to do.
531
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,400
I am not giving them Jim.
532
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,320
People will get hurt, angel.
533
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,040
I think you're overestimating
how much trouble we're actually in.
534
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:22,960
[rumbling]
535
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,880
[window breaks]
536
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,760
[tense music playing]
537
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:29,680
Well...
538
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:31,400
Oh.
539
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,000
Oh, dear.
540
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,520
- "Surrender the Angle."
- Yeah, erm...
541
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,056
[Crowley] Spelling not their strong point,
they meant to say...
542
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,480
Surrender the Angel.
543
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,080
Send out Gabriel.
544
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,520
- Nobody gets too badly hurt.
- Out of the question.
545
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:47,560
Might I remind you,
546
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:51,280
that this bookshop is technically
an independent embassy.
547
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,520
Being a former outpost of Heaven,
548
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,440
- and as such...
- You're an outlaw Aziraphale.
549
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,280
You have no protection.
550
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,880
I have a legion of demons
551
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,400
by my side.
552
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,000
And I have no intention of harming you,
553
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,640
only the humans here with you.
554
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,080
You have 60 seconds
to hand over the Archangel Gabriel
555
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:16,640
before we begin to kill people.
556
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,120
[indistinct chattering]
557
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:22,280
Excuse me.
558
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:27,880
Fifty seconds.
559
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:29,840
What do you say?
560
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:31,800
This is all because of me, isn't it?
561
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,360
Those people want me,
562
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:35,880
don't they?
563
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,080
You came to me,
564
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,200
I said I would protect you,
565
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:45,240
and I will.
566
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:46,920
You don't need to.
567
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,600
I'm going out.
568
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:52,920
[door opens]
569
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,280
[celestial music playing]
570
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000
I'm here.
571
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:02,560
[Gabriel] I'm who you want.
572
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,440
I think.
573
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:06,240
It's me.
574
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,520
I don't know what you're doing,
but you're in my way.
575
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,680
Send out the Angel now,
or everyone in the bookshop gets it.
576
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,160
- [demon] I mean it!
- Hi.
577
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:19,880
Listen.
578
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,240
The Angel Gabriel is...
579
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,080
apparently, me.
580
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,760
But I'm also Jim, which is short
for James, but also Gabriel.
581
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,640
Will you shut up?
582
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:39,040
Get back in there right now, this minute.
583
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,440
And you tell that ass Aziraphale
584
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,800
and that arch traitor Crowley
585
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,360
that unless they send out
the Angel Gabriel now,
586
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,240
they are toast.
587
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,320
T-O-S-T
588
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,040
E.
589
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,080
Toast. Now.
590
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,480
[door opens]
591
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:14,960
What happened?
592
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:20,800
They told me to come back
and tell you to send out the Angel.
593
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,640
[sighs] Of course they did.
594
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,080
Ah. We needed a miracle
to make sure nobody know it's him.
595
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,536
[mocking] Now nobody knows it's him.
596
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,280
- Nice one, ass.
- Excuse me, Mr. Phale.
597
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:34,160
Who are these people? What's happening?
598
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,200
Twenty seconds, Angel,
599
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,400
before we start hurting them.
600
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,120
You aren't allowed
to harm humans directly,
601
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,080
- you know that Shacks.
- Maybe not.
602
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,400
But I can harm them indirectly.
603
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,400
We can definitely hurt them
whilst battling Angels.
604
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,080
There'll be civilian casualties.
605
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,600
Oh, oh, are you saying
this is officially sanctioned.
606
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,000
that this attack is consistent
with the rules of engagement.
607
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:01,040
Well, is it or isn't it? Were you given
official permission to launch this attack?
608
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:05,560
I'm not stupid.
609
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,840
I have the permission.
610
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,520
Standard rules of engagement,
clause 1.1.2, subsection 3.
611
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,416
Civilian non-competence
must be given sufficient time
612
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,080
to evacuate the area of hostilities.
613
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,440
Aziraphale can put in a formal complaint
614
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,376
to the dark council of
the dukes of Hell, if you want.
615
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,456
But you'll have to delay your attack
until they reply.
616
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,440
That could take weeks, maybe.
Erm...
617
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:26,800
You lot could all be in big trouble.
618
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:28,840
[demons chattering]
619
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,160
Get your...
620
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,880
humans out of there, then.
621
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:38,480
Sure.
622
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,640
Right, I just made up a rule
that they're too stupid to check.
623
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,536
I'm gonna get the humans out of here
and then I'm coming back.
624
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,816
- I won't leave you on your own.
- I know, but I have a suggestion.
625
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,880
I've got this. Right,
I'm gonna take you all out of here.
626
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:54,120
If you do exactly what I tell you,
nobody is going to get hurt.
627
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,880
I don't know what's actually going on
but I am going to deal with it.
628
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,600
- Excuse me.
- Oh, that might get messy.
629
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:00,760
Oh...
630
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:04,600
[clears throat]
631
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,320
Madam.
632
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,920
I don't know why
you think it's appropriate to disrupt
633
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,760
a meeting of the Whickber Street
Traders and Shopkeepers Association.
634
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:16,880
Dance.
635
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:18,760
Not a meeting.
636
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,440
You were dancing.
637
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,680
You had no right
to interfere with these people.
638
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,200
Right.
639
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:29,800
I'm calling the Emergency Services.
640
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,120
Crowley, what's
the boundary line of this place?
641
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:35,840
The door frame, you can't cross it.
642
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,680
[screaming]
643
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:45,920
- You can't do that.
- We just did.
644
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,640
Civilian casualty.
645
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,960
Get the rest of them out now,
646
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,640
or we'll take them one at a time.
647
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:57,760
I still don't understand.
648
00:36:58,560 --> 00:36:59,840
- What's happening?
- Erm...
649
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,600
It's a bit complicated, but...
650
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:07,280
probably best if you forget all about it
and do whatever Mr. Crowley suggests.
651
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,296
Are you trying to hypnotize me,
is that what's happening here?
652
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,616
- You're doing something to us.
- I'm trying to save your lives.
653
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,640
[Crowley] Right, everyone line up.
Two by two.
654
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,760
I was Mrs. Sandwich out from the main.
Nina, Maggie, you take the rear.
655
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:18,880
Maggie, come on.
656
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,040
I'm not leaving him
to face them on his own.
657
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:22,960
When I say walk,
658
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,536
you know, walk.
Don't make eye contact with them,
659
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,160
just follow me out.
Nina, are you coming?
660
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:31,640
No.
661
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,200
You're saying behind to die bravely?
662
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,840
Good on you. Right, save lives.
663
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,320
Have you got your hand in?
664
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,480
- I've got more than that, love.
- Oh, I bet you do.
665
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:40,560
Let's go.
666
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,520
Happy anniversary, love.
667
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:45,560
I brought him out.
668
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,280
- Why?
- It stacks up by the front door.
669
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:51,840
Keep it for now, not a good time.
670
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,880
[whispering]
671
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,480
- They took him.
- Is he all right?
672
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:05,440
Unlikely.
Let's all get safely outside and see.
673
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,880
[demons grunting and growling]
674
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,640
Right, I'm gonna formally declare
this meeting of the Whickber Street
675
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,080
shopkeepers, thingy over.
676
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,976
I think it'd be best if you headed back
to your shops as fast as possible
677
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,440
and, well, forget
as much of this as you can.
678
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:31,560
You're a good lad.
679
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,640
I'm not actually, either.
680
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,560
But thank you.
681
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,880
- Why didn't you go?
- I wanna know what's happening.
682
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,960
- You're in danger.
- None of this makes sense.
683
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,320
You're in trouble
and we're not leaving you on your own.
684
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,120
We aren't in danger.
685
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,600
Crowley will be back in a moment,
he will have a plan.
686
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,880
Why don't you stand up for yourself?
Make your own plans.
687
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,440
I am, but rescuing me makes him so happy.
688
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,360
[lively music playing]
689
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,160
Officer, I need to report a crime.
690
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:13,480
- Oh, err, I think I'm... the wrong...
- You're a law enforcement officer?
691
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,480
Yes, I mean, well, probably...
692
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,416
As a law enforcement officer,
you are able to arrest someone
693
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,960
- if a crime has been committed.
- Well, yes, but...
694
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,320
- Good, then arrest me.
- What?
695
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,840
Like I said,
put on the cuffs, I'll go quietly.
696
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,520
This is very difficult,
but I'm not actually
697
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,960
Inspector Constable,
a human law enforcement officer.
698
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:35,000
You're an Angel, I know,
that's why I'm surrendering to you.
699
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,520
I'm a demon,
with knowledge of a crime against Heaven,
700
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,160
I demand that you arrest me,
we don't have much time.
701
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:41,600
But, how would I...?
702
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,096
You say "I arrest you, anything you say
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
703
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,280
- Blah, blah, blah?
- Good job, you're arresting me.
704
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,640
- What?
- Yeah, you said "bla, bla, bla."
705
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,040
It's all right, officer,
I'll come quietly.
706
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:52,480
Come where?
707
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:54,480
Heaven.
708
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,880
[electrical noises]
709
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,120
Right.
710
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,280
[lift voice] Doors opening.
711
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,120
You aren't trying to trick me, are you?
712
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,040
You're arresting me,
why would I be trying to trick you?
713
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,680
Close the doors.
714
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,680
[lift voice] Doors closing.
715
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,800
- [suspenseful music playing]
- [lift voice] Going up.
716
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,320
[music ends]
717
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,040
[outro theme music plays]
51936
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