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1
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这部电影是由
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晶艺电影有限公司出品
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片名叫《逃学英雄传》
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00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:48,960
这部电影是由
5
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,600
哪些哥哥姐姐们演的
6
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是谁教人打扮漂亮的
7
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我们这部电影的导演就是
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死胖子
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我们这部电影的导演就是
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最有品味 最英俊
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最有艺术修养的
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王晶先生
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局长
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什么状况
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里面两男一女
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总共是三个抢匪
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他们武器精良
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其中一个悍匪神经不太正常
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他的名字叫傻波
20
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通知飞虎队没有
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通知了
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谈判专家呢
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通知了
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是谁啊
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流泪坚
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流泪坚
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听见他我就听得直流眼泪
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局长 他是你的外甥啊
29
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就是这个才悲惨啊
30
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拿防弹衣给我
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是 局长
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慈悲为怀的主啊
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请你赐给我力量
34
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让屋里的抢匪自动投降
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我当谈判专家这么久了
36
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一次都没成功过
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主啊 拜托你帮我一次
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一次就好 阿坚
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舅舅
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你放聪明一点
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你再背锅的话
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蜘蛛精那个臭三八
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一定整死我
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她三颗花 官级比你低
45
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你干吗怕她
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惨的是立法局
47
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那几个女议员罩她啊
48
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说她是警界妇女之光
49
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整天就盯着我的位子
50
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那是累一点
51
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王局长 防弹衣
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你老妈临死叫我照顾你
53
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把它穿上 命只有一条
54
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子弹不长眼的
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我那件呢
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对不起 只有一件
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舅舅
58
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子弹没眼睛 你有眼睛嘛
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年轻人不经历过子弹擦身而过
60
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怎么能挺起胸膛做人呢
61
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我怕啊
62
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不用怕 打不中的嘛
63
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你抢什么 就算打中也不痛啊
64
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舅舅 舅舅
65
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妇女之光呀
66
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蜘蛛精
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王局长 寒风漠凛
68
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你怎么浑身冒冷汗啊
69
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这只是个小案件
70
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你年纪都这么大了
71
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不如回去休息吧
72
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舅舅 冷静 冷静
73
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我看她是女流之辈
74
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不然我就把她胸部劈下来
75
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看她以后怎么喂奶
76
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叫我
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昨晚去哪里了 干吗不call我
78
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打麻将
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00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,320
要想五秒钟才说 鬼鬼崇崇
80
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跟谁打
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四眼龟 大水牛 鸡精
82
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说这么快
83
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,400
一定是预先背好了来骗我
84
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输还是赢
85
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输二百块
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00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,440
我一个月才给你五百块零用
87
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,360
到了月底还有二百块可以输
88
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:03,600
你一定藏了很多钱
89
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:04,560
没有啊
90
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:05,840
过年存下来的压岁钱啊
91
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:06,480
我不管
92
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,880
下个月多给我存一千块
93
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什么
94
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你可以不给啊
95
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,840
我也不一定要嫁给你
96
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,560
屋子里面的人你们听着
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00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,360
我是警方的谈判专家
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我是很有诚意 没有恶意的
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我现在要进来
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跟你们好好谈一谈
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你们已经被我们团团围住
102
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走不了啦
103
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,360
不投降只有死路一条
104
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阿坚 救人质呀
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我啊
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你最近嘛
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救人质
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00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:03,280
是 长官
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小姐
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不要动
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00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:13,440
你不要过来 小心啊
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00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,120
上去
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看着我啊
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进去
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敢打伤我老婆
116
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不关我的事啊
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00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,920
一边讲话一边眨眼睛
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我眼睛痒嘛
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脱衣服
120
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:44,440
我打伤你老婆
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你打我就是了
122
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:46,280
没理由强奸我啊
123
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,760
还用瓶子
124
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,040
我们来玩俄罗斯轮盘
125
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瓶口朝着谁就打谁
126
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一颗
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00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,360
两颗
128
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:08,800
三颗
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00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:11,720
我们玩三颗
130
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:12,480
三颗
131
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:29,880
好不好玩啊
132
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:32,800
我现在再加一颗
133
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还加
134
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:34,840
我们两个男人
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加起来一共有四颗
136
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不是啊
137
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:38,520
我只有一颗
138
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:39,360
那我就三颗咯
139
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,160
不要啊 波哥
140
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,040
很开心吗
141
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:06,760
不是呀
142
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,920
好痛苦啊
143
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,600
这次我们六颗一起玩
144
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,200
不要 我们还没玩完啊
145
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还没玩完
146
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:04,880
等我回来
147
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,640
等我回来再跟你玩过
148
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,640
等我会回来呀
149
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,040
不要指着我
150
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,320
阿坚 阿坚 你没事吧
151
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,640
阿坚 你指着他 杀他
152
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,280
舅舅 老妈死的时候
153
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:18,120
叫你照顾我
154
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,480
我现在不在照顾你吗
155
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,560
我不是叫你到黑社会当卧底
156
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:22,920
我是叫你到学校
157
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:23,880
当卧底老师而已
158
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,680
查什么 查黑学生啊
159
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,320
黄种人啊黑
160
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,120
有个小名叫小狗的台湾仔
161
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:32,360
把两脚抬高
162
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,360
我知道了 什么
163
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,440
原来夺命剪刀脚是这么练的
164
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多管闲事
165
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夹爆你的头
166
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,040
台湾仔的老爸柯受良呢
167
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,000
是台湾黑帮的重要人物
168
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,080
最近他肯出来
169
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跟警方合作指证两个大哥
170
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可惜啊那份证据让
171
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,040
他以前离了婚的老婆拿走了
172
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:54,840
找他老婆啊
173
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,520
他老婆在三个月之前撞车死掉啦
174
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,160
可能他儿子会知道
175
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:01,400
找他儿子啊
176
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:02,840
这么容易找啊
177
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,800
那小混蛋不知道多恨他老爸
178
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,440
根本不肯认他这个老爸的
179
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,480
我也是历经艰苦才找到线索
180
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,480
他可能在圣育强中学读书啊
181
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,000
他儿子长什么样子啊
182
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:22,920
只是靠张照片
183
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,480
他老爸都不认得他了
184
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,240
他老爸最后一次见他呢
185
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,120
他才七岁
186
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,400
现在这个小子 已经十七岁了
187
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:30,920
唯一的记号呢
188
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,160
就是他屁股上面
189
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,520
有一块狗形的胎记
190
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,000
不过 我们已经收到线报
191
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,040
台湾的黑帮
192
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,120
已经派人来追杀小狗了
193
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,600
所以我们一定要
194
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,160
比这帮人先找到小狗才行啊
195
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,440
舅舅 好严重啊
196
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,800
蜘蛛精逼得我走投无路
197
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,440
你再找不到他
198
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:50,440
我就把你吸进去了
199
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,360
我怕我罩不住啊
200
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:54,840
我现在决定
201
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,600
将我毕生的绝学传授给你
202
00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,520
我最好的武功绝对不是剪刀脚
203
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,000
是铁沙掌对吧
204
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:03,840
不是铁沙掌
205
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,920
是一 阳 指
206
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:10,920
一阳指
207
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,880
这只不过是雕虫小技
208
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,520
你也可以做得到的
209
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,840
我可以用一根手指做倒立
210
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,440
把我人整个撑起来
211
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,520
来啊 你的手指
212
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,840
如果可以让杯子动的时候
213
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:44,200
你就成功了
214
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,000
做卧底要保守秘密
215
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:01,920
不能告诉别人
216
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,800
我每天要跟阿卿报到三次
217
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,480
这样一个怡贝贝
218
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,800
拜托你甩了她吧
219
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,640
我已经交了三年了
220
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,880
三年 三年你标了会没有
221
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:12,600
没有啊
222
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,120
女人啊 是不能宠的
223
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,160
在聊什么
224
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,520
我的奶罩你烫好了没有
225
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,800
好了好了 我想烫软一点
226
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,720
你穿得会舒服一点嘛 亲爱的
227
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:25,040
我们分手吧
228
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:28,960
你哭什么
229
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,440
哭也没有用 是吗
230
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,520
冷静点 分开一下
231
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,680
你干什么 你跪在这里干什么
232
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,560
这么多人看着 你有没有搞错
233
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:47,600
我警告你不要拉我裤子
234
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:48,800
不然我一巴掌呼死你啊
235
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:49,600
我呼死你啊
236
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,800
我揣死你啊 你还来
237
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,160
女人嘛 是吧
238
00:11:58,960 --> 00:11:59,840
我够不够COOL
239
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:01,920
简直是无情无意的衰样
240
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,800
等一下我话说完了 扭头就走
241
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,880
女人一定会哭得死去活来
242
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,840
麻烦你帮我个忙 帮我盯着她
243
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,360
我怕她一下子想不开
244
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,880
又跳海 又跳楼的
245
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,480
我很为难啊 行了 我会了
246
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:15,880
她来啦
247
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:26,920
我有话跟你说
248
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:27,800
说啊
249
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,160
我们分手
250
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,080
你说什么
251
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,080
我说我们分手呀
252
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,520
你说得这么辛苦 不要说了
253
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:40,360
不如让我来说
254
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,280
我们分手
255
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,400
为什么要跟我分手
256
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,960
哭什么 你哭也没有用的
257
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,600
我们需要冷静一下
258
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,720
冷什么静 我不需要冷静
259
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,200
不要啊 不要啊 不要啊
260
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,240
不要你离开我 不要呀
261
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,440
你抓着我的脚干吗啊
262
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,160
这里这么多人 赶快放手
263
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:06,960
不放 我不放手
264
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:07,760
再不放手
265
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:08,880
我一脚把你揣到墙角去
266
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,120
不放 就是不放
267
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:11,560
走开啊
268
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,720
不要走啊不要走
269
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,080
干什么 我死给你看
270
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,640
你想开一点嘛 你不要理我
271
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,600
你冷静一点 你不要冲动啊
272
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:24,320
你有所不知 她甩了我了
273
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,720
即然我爱情失败
274
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,240
我的事业一定要成功
275
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,040
我要做一个成功的人
276
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,840
我要努力 奋斗 不眠不休
277
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,360
不怕牺牲 排除万难
278
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,120
那怕凤云色变
279
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,160
我也要冲破重重的障碍
280
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,520
我 要做一个最成功的
281
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,440
老师
282
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,920
白痴 神经病
283
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,400
关你们什么事啊
284
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,360
你是不是这个学校的老师啊
285
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:12,680
什么事啊
286
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,920
我问你是不是这个学校的老师
287
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:15,600
是吧
288
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:17,600
那就对了
289
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,200
老大 我也是刚刚新来的
290
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,000
如果以前有什么做不对的地方
291
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:22,720
你不要怪我
292
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:23,680
那更好了
293
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,520
我不太会打领带
294
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:28,720
请你帮帮忙吧
295
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,320
打领带是吧 是啊
296
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:31,280
谢谢啊
297
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:35,480
我也是新来的老师
298
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:38,680
你没走错地方吧
299
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,400
没有啊 我不像吗
300
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,080
像 像
301
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:44,520
是政府派我们来的
302
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,200
我们是政府协助
303
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,440
黑社会自首人士
304
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,880
重新投入社会 职业辅导计划
305
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:52,600
第一批的人马
306
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,200
现在我跟你都是属于穿鞋的
307
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,400
是啊
308
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:01,680
请问你教哪一科
309
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,240
你看我这样的人材
310
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,680
就知道我是专门负责修理人
311
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,560
不是 是物理
312
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,040
我绝对不能容忍一只蚊子
313
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,400
在我的视线范围之内
314
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,800
也就是说 我绝对不能够
315
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,640
容忍一个害群之马的学生
316
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,520
在我的学校里
317
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,640
两位既然加入
318
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,200
我的学校教师行列
319
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,760
就有责任帮我搞好学校的纪律
320
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,400
没问题啊 校长
321
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:28,840
如果有哪个学生
322
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,080
敢不听教不听话的
323
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:31,960
把他抓回来痛扁
324
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,200
接着就整他
325
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,120
然后来个大锅妙
326
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:36,840
对不对啊 侯老师
327
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,960
陈慧蟹老师 你可不可以
328
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,240
用一些比较有文化的语言
329
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,840
校长 是这样的
330
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,920
哪个学生 不听话不听教呢
331
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,760
我们就用个麻袋把他给套起来
332
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,280
跟着呢 拿木棍来殴打他
333
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,200
然后 就要冤枉他
334
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:57,840
到最后呢
335
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,720
我们就要很有秩序的
336
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,440
跟他发生性行为
337
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,320
校长 够有文化吧
338
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,200
但是我们圣育强中学
339
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,440
绝对没有一个
340
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,560
害群之马的学生
341
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,120
而全部都是害群之马的学生
342
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,440
我们是垃圾学生大集合
343
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,400
全部烂学生都在这里
344
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,640
有两个新老师来了
345
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,120
这回有得玩了
346
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,320
大家准备作战 好呀好啊
347
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,800
所以两位要有心理准备
348
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,640
这个学期就是
349
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,480
一场惨烈的战争的开始
350
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:29,720
听到没有
351
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,480
你干什么
352
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,560
惨了 我耳聋了
353
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,720
他到底说什么 快点说啊
354
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,800
天气这么好还带伞 你怕太阳啊
355
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,160
这把伞是学生跟学校的桥梁
356
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:42,840
怎么说
357
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,200
如果连伞都没有
358
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,080
又怎么可以过河渡江呢
359
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,880
走到天井要撑伞
360
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:53,640
走两步要摆右
361
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,400
走前三步跳一跳
362
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,400
接着就要缩
363
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,880
校长 为什么要缩也不说一声呢
364
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,840
你不中招又怎么会记得呢
365
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,960
在这家学校要打起十二分精神
366
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,600
特别是一个叫ACE的学生
367
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,040
他犯过很多次错
368
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,600
有没有搞错 再犯一次
369
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,360
我们就可以马上把他开除
370
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,120
等一下点名的时候
371
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,880
你要特别注意他
372
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,680
迟到半步就可以把他开除
373
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,520
还没看见ACE啊
374
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,320
我们收到消息 他要再迟到啊
375
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,640
校长就要开除他
376
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,080
我们叫他死得很难看
377
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,320
追他 好
378
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,240
分头拦截 好
379
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,080
无聊
380
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:55,000
五 四 三 二 一
381
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:55,560
点名
382
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:02,920
ALEX
383
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:03,920
到
384
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:06,800
ACE 书包
385
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:07,520
谢谢
386
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,520
我们给点掌声
387
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:15,800
欢迎新老师好不好
388
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,800
好 好
389
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:22,400
你就是ALEX
390
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,400
是啊 大家都叫我ACE
391
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:28,240
好 今天是我第一天
392
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,240
到这里来上课
393
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,920
我的名字叫做候瑞坚
394
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,280
你们看见我满脸笑容
395
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,520
其实你们被我的外表欺骗了
396
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,240
我这个人的本质是非常凶残的
397
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,560
如果有谁敢在教室里胡搞瞎搞
398
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:43,680
我就一手把他扔出去
399
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,840
我要他单脚顶着椅子 背着桌子
400
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,120
一个人站在窗口外面
401
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,680
一直站到下午放学为止
402
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,720
绝对不会心软 明白了没有
403
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,440
谁有胆子单独玩我
404
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,680
就等于集体自杀
405
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:57,040
明白了没有
406
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:01,880
希望没有吓到大家
407
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:05,920
现在上中国文学课
408
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,200
今天讲的呢是出师表
409
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:13,840
出师表的作者呢是诸葛亮
410
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,600
又名孔明
411
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,440
所以呢又叫做诸葛孔明了
412
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,640
怎么全跑光了 刚才还好好的
413
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,120
校长 校长
414
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:31,560
什么事啊 我不见了
415
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:32,400
是不是钱包
416
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,400
每个新来的老师
417
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,440
都会被学生偷的了
418
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,160
女厕所第三格 这儿没有
419
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:36,920
不是啊
420
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,720
我不是钱包不见了 又有新招
421
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,160
我不见了整班学生呀
422
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:42,600
快 快来啊
423
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,840
你不是说全班学生都走光了吗
424
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,080
你刚刚明明不在这里的
425
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,200
你老实点啊
426
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,240
你 你告诉校长 快说
427
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,360
你不要吵 ACE你说
428
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,400
快站起来说啊
429
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:01,840
刚才候老师在黑板
430
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,080
写了些东西就出去了
431
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:04,480
Monday约了叶子楣
432
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:05,680
Tuesday找陈熏奇
433
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:06,840
星期三脱衣服
434
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:07,880
星期四摸大腿
435
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,160
Friday如去了Mary家
436
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,000
礼拜六没性欲
437
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,120
Runday搞得要自毒
438
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:13,760
候老师 你怎么解释啊
439
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,080
不关我的事啊 内容我不怪你
440
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,240
上中文课怎么可以教英文呢
441
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,240
下次不要再犯了
442
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,520
候老师 别慌 我们还在这里
443
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:33,840
刚才你们全都跑哪去了
444
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,560
候老师 如果我们以后
445
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:37,680
可以和平共处的话
446
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,560
我们就不会逃学或失踪了
447
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:40,720
你觉得怎么样
448
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:42,560
我可以选吗
449
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:45,760
为了表示我们的诚意
450
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,240
我们A班三天之内不会整你
451
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,000
但是BCDEF这几班龙潭虎穴
452
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:50,960
我们帮不了你咯
453
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:53,600
龙潭虎穴
454
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:01,120
老师早安
455
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:15,960
早
456
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,720
各位同学 我的名字叫做候
457
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:35,920
候瑞坚
458
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:51,880
这个人怎么回事啊
459
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,040
有没有搞错啊
460
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,640
就是啊 等个公交车还带椅子
461
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,120
神经
462
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,360
你知道现在搭公交车有多紧
463
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:02,480
自己不带椅子来
464
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:03,520
哪有位子坐啊
465
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:05,640
神经病
466
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,480
老师早安
467
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,840
我已经受够了 我不会再客气
468
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,240
你们这班是全校最皮的H班
469
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:48,560
听说你们班有位
470
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,240
最皮最下流最无耻的
471
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,760
阿诺史瓦辛格 出来
472
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,600
我要的是阿诺史瓦辛格
473
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,320
不是的那两个坐下
474
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,160
我是阿诺
475
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,320
我是史瓦 我是辛格
476
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,640
我们是阿诺史瓦辛格
477
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,160
我现在开始上课
478
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,480
你们不要有什么不良的企图
479
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,680
否则将会有非常非常
480
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,720
悲惨的后果
481
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,920
伤得这么严重啊
482
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:06,440
真的没得救了
483
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:08,840
我真的受重伤
484
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,520
真的受重伤了 是不是
485
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,520
我是说你的眼镜伤得很重
486
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:14,400
让我看看啊
487
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,800
很简单嘛 我帮你用点
488
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,320
丙铜或者eder来融合一下
489
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:20,720
再用点细致磨铜膏
490
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:21,680
磨一下就行了
491
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,000
那我有没有受伤
492
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,440
伤得严不严重啊
493
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,800
粘东西我会啊 粘人我不会
494
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:29,360
你没事吧
495
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,440
你生命力好强哦
496
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:35,680
我是候瑞坚
497
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:37,440
我叫林梦想
498
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,600
候先生 我是化学老师
499
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:40,560
梦想
500
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,120
英文名字叫珍妮
501
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:43,840
在这里负责教体育
502
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,440
我是化学教师呀
503
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,560
我是全科教师
504
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,160
全科教师就是什么都教
505
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,000
我真的是化学教师啊
506
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,080
那些学生说我好没记性
507
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,200
这是谣言啊
508
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,160
我知道你是候老师
509
00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,320
她是林老师
510
00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:59,520
记性不错吧
511
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,000
请问你贵姓啊
512
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:02,320
我姓
513
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:05,360
先看一下身份证
514
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,680
惨啦 我的身份证呢
515
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:12,720
难道去年遗失 忘了补领了
516
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,160
你出去问一下学生
517
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:16,280
不就知道你姓什么了吗
518
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,840
是 我教哪一班
519
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,560
我的记性很好啊
520
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,560
我知道你是候老师
521
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,240
你是林老师 是啊
522
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,200
我去问一下
523
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,880
我真的是化学教师哦
524
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,840
这么健忘怎么当老师啊 是啊
525
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,800
这所学校还真是有意思
526
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,280
对了 你是怎么受伤的
527
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,120
我被学生用书包扔昏的
528
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,800
这所学校的学生是皮了一点
529
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,360
不过他们的心地很善良的
530
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,240
他们的本性好凶残的
531
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:49,280
慢慢教咯
532
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,920
我们有责任把他们教好的
533
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,480
林老师 我买了可乐
534
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:58,640
你刚好一点 你喝吧
535
00:28:59,160 --> 00:28:59,520
好啊
536
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:02,840
你知不知道这罐汽水
537
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,560
我走了很远去福利社买的
538
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:06,600
你嘴巴干 自己去买啊
539
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:08,880
好好好 你自己喝吧
540
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,480
你渴了嘛 快去啊
541
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:12,480
我真的不口渴
542
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:13,680
干吗要我买汽水啊
543
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,160
如果你流了满地血你渴不渴啊
544
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:17,880
你告诉我你渴不渴啊
545
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:18,880
阿慧蟹老师
546
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:21,600
校长 校长
547
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:25,200
候老师受了点伤 你代他的课
548
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:26,000
我
549
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:27,480
这一节是教数学
550
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:29,880
马子是我先泡到的
551
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,080
你不要乱泡呀
552
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,240
你也休息一下吧
553
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,200
各位同学明白了吗
554
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:47,400
不明白啊
555
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,600
你们这些人都是吃屎长大的
556
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,880
想当年本大爷跟另一帮人吵架
557
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,840
准备开打 大家都带家伙去
558
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,880
上面砍死三个 下面干掉三个
559
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,400
他们放火烧了我的夜总会
560
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,000
我就带着兄弟
561
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,440
去烧了他的卡拉OK
562
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,520
结果呢我把他
563
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,640
整个地盘都翻过来了
564
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,640
接着两帮人准备开打
565
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,560
全部被条子给抓走
566
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,600
只剩两三个到公园去 一对一
567
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:32,040
结果呢全部挂掉了 死剩一个
568
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:33,240
而这个人呢
569
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,120
就是你们老师 我啦
570
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,320
现在明白了吧
571
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,680
谢谢指教
572
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,480
我是来接替你上课的
573
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:46,960
各位同学
574
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:48,840
这个是你们正式老大
575
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:51,400
我这班学生难教啊
576
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:53,080
现在重返你门下
577
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,160
以后找我代课啊
578
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:56,960
你要私下付薪水给我
579
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,120
知不知道 好啊
580
00:30:59,000 --> 00:30:59,600
就这样了
581
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,320
各位同学 我叫候瑞坚
582
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,040
我今天不是来教大家的
583
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:06,560
我是希望跟大家
584
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,600
一起学习一起进步
585
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,360
这里有些汽水不成敬意
586
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,560
如果大家有什么不Happy的
587
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:13,960
一定要坦白的告诉我
588
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,000
多多指教
589
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:18,360
赏脸 赏脸
590
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:19,960
谢谢老师 谢谢老师
591
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,080
赏脸 赏脸
592
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:24,120
谢谢老师
593
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:25,840
这位同学你哪里舒服呀
594
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,200
没事 没事了 你继续呀
595
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:29,160
你觉得怎么样啊
596
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,560
没事了 我去上厕所
597
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:33,160
你等我一下
598
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:34,160
我带你去保健室呀
599
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:36,800
同学同学 你哪里不舒服啊
600
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:37,960
我肚子好痛哦
601
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,000
我看看 我看看
602
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,280
你转过脸来啊
603
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,160
我感冒了 我不想传染给你
604
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:47,080
你头上有蟑螂
605
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:47,800
蟑螂
606
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,400
你是关德卿
607
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:52,280
我是吴小元啊老师
608
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,440
你明明是关德卿
609
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:54,520
为什么在这里扮学生
610
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:55,400
我不是
611
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,160
你是 我不是
612
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:58,200
你是关德卿
613
00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,160
我不是
614
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:00,560
你还不承认 我不是
615
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,160
你还不承认 我不是
616
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:07,600
你整天跟着我有什么企图啊
617
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,920
你先承认你是关德卿
618
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,840
我叫吴小元 老师
619
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:11,840
你是吴小元
620
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:14,360
如果你想帮我改姓
621
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:15,720
得先问过我老爸
622
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:19,600
三块钱
623
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:20,720
老爸
624
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,240
好 过来帮忙
625
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:24,880
这位老师老说我是姓关的
626
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:28,760
你是她老爸
627
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:31,680
是啊 我是她老爸
628
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:34,800
我肯定你不是她老爸
629
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:36,440
你怎么知道
630
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,000
不是 我真的是她老爸
631
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:41,920
你看 我们一个模子印出来的
632
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:46,440
你不就是总部那个
633
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:47,800
老牌卧底黑仔达
634
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:49,120
是啊 不是
635
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:50,680
我是这里校工达叔啊
636
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,080
候老师 吃鱼丸
637
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:52,840
好
638
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:55,800
你是学生
639
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,360
你是校工 是呀
640
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,360
出来一下 来啊 来啊
641
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,160
老师你再不放手我要叫了
642
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,360
我数三下1 2 3
643
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:11,480
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
644
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:17,480
林老师
645
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:19,600
干吗
646
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,920
男厕所在那边
647
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,160
我看看Ladies这个字
648
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:25,280
有没有拼错而已嘛
649
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:27,880
对的
650
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:39,760
晚上放学再算吧
651
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:42,720
看什么看
652
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,440
没看过抽烟啊
653
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:46,480
没有
654
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,400
没看过抽得这么逊的
655
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:51,480
说什么你
656
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,640
我问你 你是什么来头啊
657
00:33:58,320 --> 00:33:59,040
你新来的
658
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,000
跟大姐头讲话还这么嚣张啊
659
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,000
哪个是大姐头
660
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:07,520
怎么你交学费的时候
661
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:08,560
没有问清楚吗
662
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:10,280
我交学费来读书
663
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,120
不是来认亲认戚的
664
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:13,600
三八
665
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:17,760
不要跟我打啊
666
00:34:18,240 --> 00:34:19,680
看见大姐头都不敬礼
667
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,560
还不把所有钱财拿出来贡献
668
00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:23,120
我现在一脚把你揣到墙角去
669
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:24,720
这么拽 扁她
670
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:35,600
不要打啦
671
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:53,400
还有没有人要打啊
672
00:34:57,720 --> 00:34:58,880
怎么样啊 大姐头
673
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:00,800
我是二姐头
674
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,440
那谁是大姐头啊
675
00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:05,360
你是大姐头啊
676
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:07,320
那还差不多
677
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,920
摸摸这里 摸摸那里
678
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,120
我要你摸 你不是这里
679
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:19,880
上面一点 下面一点
680
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,160
对了对了 就是这里
681
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:29,880
你不要再唱了
682
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:31,080
不好听啊
683
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,880
你问我爱你有多深
684
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:36,600
也不好听
685
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,680
I Love you more them I can see
686
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:43,920
黑仔达 干吗
687
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:45,000
你不要再装蒜了
688
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:46,960
我是夺命剪刀脚的
689
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:48,160
入室弟子一阳指
690
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,640
如果你再不说真说话的话
691
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:50,800
我就一指撮爆你
692
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,000
不要说谎话了
693
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:54,240
手指怎么会撮爆脑袋瓜呢
694
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:55,720
撮不爆是不是 不爆
695
00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:57,840
我撮
696
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,320
你神经病啊 这么撮也会痛吗
697
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:03,360
关德卿到底是不是你女儿
698
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:03,840
不是
699
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:05,760
你是金牌卧底黑仔达
700
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:07,600
是 不是
701
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:08,480
暗号
702
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,680
我是英女皇的儿子的
703
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:11,760
老表的崇拜者
704
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:13,640
那个干妈的大姨妈 她的狗
705
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,040
我是海上的老相好的
706
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:16,120
大哥的叔公的
707
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,720
拜把老母的那块骨头
708
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,360
狗咬狗骨 人地人渣
709
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,680
我是皇家警察候瑞坚警官
710
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,440
我也是皇家警察
711
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,800
里面的边缘人黑仔达
712
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,240
刚才问你为什么不承认
713
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:28,920
你没有说暗号我怎么承认
714
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,400
总之你就是我的线民
715
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:31,040
快点告诉我
716
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:32,360
关德卿为什么是你女儿
717
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:33,880
因为我也是她的线民啊
718
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,040
你摆明是一女嫁二夫嘛
719
00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:37,640
没办法 侯长官
720
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,040
黄局长派你来当卧底
721
00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:40,200
蜘蛛精派她来做卧底
722
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:41,120
两个都要立功
723
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,080
让我来做夹心饼干
724
00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:43,120
老兄 不要搞啊
725
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,640
是瓦斯管呢 会爆炸的
726
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:46,760
难怪阿卿要跟我分手
727
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:48,080
我现在马上去找她
728
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:49,880
不用找了 她现在住我家
729
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:51,280
我也住
730
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:52,280
那怎么行啊
731
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:54,200
为什么不行
732
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:56,320
你当我是什么人啊
733
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,080
好了 今晚早点来
734
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,360
不行 他不可以住在这里
735
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,640
她是我的线民 政府帮我付钱
736
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:03,960
我当然可以住在这里
737
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,040
你现在身份是我老爸
738
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,720
怎么可以让这淫贼住在这里
739
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:09,880
你现在是我老妈
740
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,480
怎么可以让这个贱妇住在这里
741
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,280
没问题啊 一个淫贼 一个贱妇
742
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,800
一对狗男女 天作之合
743
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,440
我不管 如果明天他还在这里
744
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:21,880
我就会用适当的武力
745
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,280
阿卿你怎么这么说
746
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:24,920
我们现在各为其主
747
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,800
请你叫我做关德卿督察
748
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,920
候瑞坚警员
749
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:34,600
你干吗老看着酒瓶子
750
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:35,640
有什么好看的
751
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,120
我现在正在戒酒
752
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,880
这一招叫做望梅止渴
753
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:41,160
给我看久一点 我就有够High
754
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,240
要是给我闻一下 马上醉
755
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:45,440
真的行啊
756
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,360
大哥 很贵的哦
757
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:48,400
看久了要亏本的
758
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,200
借酒浇愁嘛
759
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,160
怕了你了 你真的很喜欢她吗
760
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,200
你问得这么直接
761
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,520
我以前那老婆比她更凶悍
762
00:37:58,680 --> 00:37:59,720
给我一招就摆平了
763
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:00,840
哪一招啊
764
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:02,400
我一看见她就搂她
765
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:03,520
搂着她就亲亲
766
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:06,040
亲她全身 然后亲到她融化
767
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:07,160
第二天看到我
768
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:08,800
比看到刘德华还高兴啊
769
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:10,480
真的行啊
770
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:11,760
当然可以了 来
771
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,400
以前那个周星星督察啊
772
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,120
就全靠我把这个东西给他
773
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,240
才撮合一对好姻缘啊
774
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:19,120
好好利用呀
775
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:20,400
人家可是好女孩啊
776
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:21,280
真的
777
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:21,880
口臭
778
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,480
这玩意不是这么用的
779
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,240
年青人性知识真是贫乏啊
780
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:04,320
她打我啊
781
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:05,920
她喜欢这种调调啊
782
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,080
我房里有根皮鞭 我拿给你啊
783
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:15,480
这么吵啊
784
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,360
我不能没有你
785
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,680
没有你我都不知道怎么做人
786
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,720
我要一生一世都跟你在一起
787
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,240
看来看去就是这张最顺眼
788
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:51,840
叫你闻一下而已
789
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:53,520
谁要你把我的好酒干光
790
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:54,600
醉了活该
791
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,040
来 吃碗粥清清肠胃
792
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,000
吃不吃咸蛋啊
793
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:02,240
好啊
794
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,320
怎么咸蛋放在盐罐里面啊
795
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,360
要不然怎么够咸啊 来啊
796
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:15,480
臭豆腐要不要啊
797
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,400
我很喜欢吃啊 好
798
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,200
有没有搞错啊
799
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:23,680
怎么从鞋子里面拿出来
800
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,360
不然怎么够臭啊 真是
801
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:26,320
吃啊
802
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:30,920
有好的豆腐乳
803
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:32,640
豆腐乳 是啊
804
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:34,680
你干什么啊
805
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,800
根据你的理论
806
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,280
豆腐乳一定是在乳房里啊
807
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:39,160
你有毛病啊
808
00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:40,720
吃粥啦
809
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:42,320
阿卿呢
810
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:43,560
早上学去了
811
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:45,480
腿好漂亮哦
812
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,160
嗨小元同学 你寂寞吗
813
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:49,560
我家里好大
814
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:50,920
而且我家里还有
815
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,520
啤酒 汽水 还有果汁
816
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:56,560
不要管这群社会败类
817
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:57,720
今晚来我家
818
00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,400
我们温习功课
819
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:01,440
就只有你最
820
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:02,400
虚伪
821
00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:06,840
我是在说笑的
822
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:08,320
不说哪有得笑啊
823
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:10,200
OK OK
824
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:10,960
扁他
825
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,280
好像是高三的吴小元
826
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:16,920
怎么变得那么漂亮啊
827
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,040
还蛮受男生欢迎的哦
828
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,320
淫贱 世风日下
829
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,080
不知廉耻 没那么严重吧
830
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:24,280
林老师 候老师
831
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,320
不严重 她泡小男生还不严重
832
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:29,160
她也是小女生而已啊
833
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,520
现在十六七岁谈恋爱很平常
834
00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:32,920
开放一点嘛
835
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:34,960
一发难收
836
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,120
别挡路啊
837
00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:48,200
没记号啊
838
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:52,880
还是没记号啊
839
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:54,520
大姐头 怎么样
840
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:56,320
扒了七八个都没着落
841
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,400
我们要调查的目标还有谁啊
842
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:06,840
好棒啊 还要不要玩
843
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:08,360
你们玩吧 拜拜
844
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:09,080
拜拜
845
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:24,240
怎么样
846
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:24,960
快来了
847
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:25,840
走
848
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:29,600
嗨 ACE 嗨
849
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:43,600
怎么样啊
850
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:44,640
无上装
851
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:55,160
目标无下装
852
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:56,720
有没有胎记啊 没有啊
853
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:58,200
走开 让我来
854
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:06,360
那谁会是小狗呢
855
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,440
去告诉大姐头 好
856
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:19,200
大哥 怎么样啊
857
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:20,280
都走光了
858
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:22,560
那你先把内裤还给我啊
859
00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:26,000
内裤要天天洗
860
00:44:28,720 --> 00:44:29,200
吴小元
861
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:33,000
有事吗 林老师
862
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:34,960
小元啊 侯老师说
863
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,160
你的裙子太短了
864
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:37,320
回去换长一点
865
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,200
以后不要穿那么短的来上学哦
866
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:39,800
是
867
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:44,720
你以为你是叶子楣
868
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:45,480
还是叶玉卿啊
869
00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:46,840
给人家白看不吃亏的
870
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:47,680
为了要查案子
871
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:48,680
当然就要牺牲一点啦
872
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:50,320
什么都行 牺牲色相就不行
873
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:52,720
我们已经分手 你还管我干吗
874
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,200
那我们就各玩各的
875
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:56,400
那最好
876
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:57,760
好啊
877
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,800
林老师 我有两张演唱会的票
878
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:05,760
今晚我们听歌去
879
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,360
让学生看见不太好吧
880
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:10,240
你不是叫我开放一点嘛
881
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,960
对了 你很喜欢听演唱会吗
882
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,040
我根本就没票
883
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:25,440
对你爱爱爱不完
884
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:30,080
我可以天天月月年年到永远
885
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,680
对你爱爱爱
886
00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:34,080
谁啊
887
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:40,800
谁
888
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:46,520
谁啊 谁
889
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,120
扭到脖子了这下
890
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:52,800
你那么紧张干吗
891
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:53,920
怎么会不紧张啊
892
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,800
最近学校出了个屁股淫魔
893
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:56,680
十个男人有九个
894
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:58,240
被扒裤子查屁股啊
895
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:00,000
你害怕啊 怕啊
896
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,000
我的屁股是玉洁冰清啊
897
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,360
我知道 这件事
898
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:05,720
是阿卿跟那些女学生搞的
899
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:06,800
找那个小狗嘛
900
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,400
说就说嘛 动手动脚的
901
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,680
是这样啊 那就没关系了
902
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,560
你没关系 我有关系啊
903
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:15,600
可怜我女朋友每天要看
904
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,160
几十个大大小小面积不同
905
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:18,640
有圆有方有三角
906
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:19,880
中间还有条缝
907
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:21,760
缝里面还长了有毛的肉团
908
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,320
肉团两边还长了
909
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:25,440
好多颗凹凹凸凸的脓疮
910
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:28,840
脓疮上面还有脓流出来
911
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,960
那些脓还是黄色的
912
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,480
有东西就不要放在肚子里面
913
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:34,640
不吐不快呀
914
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:38,040
真是不吐不快啊
915
00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:41,400
对不起 不好意思
916
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:44,320
候老师
917
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:46,080
林老师
918
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,080
对了 这次我想请你帮我一个忙
919
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,240
行啊 候老师一定行的
920
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,320
还有你啊 我啊
921
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,040
不过可能要牺牲一点点啊
922
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:57,520
他行啊 他行 不要啊
923
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:58,920
我上性教育课
924
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,640
正巧啊带子坏掉了
925
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:01,600
所以想请你们两位
926
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:02,920
帮我示范一下 好不好
927
00:47:03,240 --> 00:47:06,280
性教育 好呀好啊
928
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:07,920
还要化妆才行哦
929
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,400
跟你啊化成灰也行啊
930
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:13,840
各位同学 今天我们
931
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,600
请到候老师来帮我们做示范
932
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:16,960
欢迎候老师
933
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:20,760
候老师 请到这边
934
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:30,640
当一个正常的男生
935
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,200
到了十三四岁
936
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,760
他的精襄就开始制造精子
937
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,320
数量呢是数以亿计的
938
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,200
为了延续下一代而做好准备
939
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,320
每一条精虫的形状呢
940
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:44,120
就好像候老师现在一样
941
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,080
后面有一条长长的尾巴
942
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:48,760
也就是说 这条精虫这一生
943
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:50,720
唯一会做的工作就是游泳
944
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,640
它是希望可以游到
945
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,200
女性的生殖器官里面
946
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:56,280
找到卵子
947
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:07,160
我游
948
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,520
一个正常的女性每次在
949
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:12,960
她的经期之后呢
950
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:14,480
就会开始排卵
951
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:15,880
而每一次的排卵
952
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:17,360
都只排一颗卵子
953
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:21,720
这颗就是了
954
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:28,640
所以数以亿计的精虫 它的对象
955
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:30,520
就围绕着这颗卵子
956
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:36,280
督学 不好意思啊
957
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,000
校长不知道你来 他出去了
958
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:39,640
我们另外安排时间您再来吧
959
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:41,640
我向来喜欢突击检查
960
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,000
安排好的行程
961
00:48:43,240 --> 00:48:45,040
是看不到学校的真面目
962
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:47,600
当第一条精虫游近卵子
963
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:49,880
卵子就会伸出它的触须
964
00:48:50,240 --> 00:48:50,760
我要啊
965
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:51,640
好嘛
966
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,280
游得这么辛苦也值得了
967
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:55,880
去吧 Happy啰
968
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,920
当精虫进入卵子里面
969
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,920
这样就是一颗受精卵了
970
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:04,760
大概过了 40个星期之后
971
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:06,320
小BB就诞生了
972
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:34,760
Hello两位 你好
973
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:36,040
督学她是想知道
974
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:37,240
他们两个在做什么
975
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:39,320
他们是在帮我示范性教育
976
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:51,080
你怎么可以这么做
977
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:53,320
我 我什么 你太过份了你
978
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:58,280
有些人不骂就是不行
979
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,240
好耶 再来一个 再来一个
980
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,880
是不是 岂不便宜别人了 真是
981
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:18,760
幸好 悬崖勒马
982
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:49,560
飞机
983
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:51,960
铁老大想见你
984
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,000
阿狗 很久不见了
985
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:13,720
铁大哥 你好
986
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:27,240
铁布衫 硬气功
987
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,560
我这几年练的功夫不是白练的
988
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,400
王八蛋 认命吧
989
00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:59,920
你敢到警备总部去指证我
990
00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:01,720
就应该想到这一天
991
00:52:03,240 --> 00:52:05,760
铁镇东 你逃不掉的了
992
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:07,640
我的口供
993
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,280
已经足够送你到外岛去管训了
994
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,760
我已经查得一清二楚
995
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:14,400
他们还没有拿到
996
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:16,280
你儿子手上的那批文件
997
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,520
我明天就到香港去杀你儿子
998
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:22,120
到时候
999
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:24,800
你们一家三口到地府去见吧
1000
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,480
长官 我舅舅在哪里
1001
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:31,240
进了医院
1002
00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:32,240
为什么
1003
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:33,240
刺激过度
1004
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:34,320
怎么会呢
1005
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:36,080
他收到封信 什么信啊
1006
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:37,280
叫他退休的信
1007
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:38,960
从现在开始
1008
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,040
这间警局由我全权负责
1009
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:41,920
朱总警司
1010
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:43,480
我 朱局长
1011
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,360
我很忙啊 我要告诉你
1012
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:47,880
一个好消息跟一个坏消息
1013
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:49,480
先说那个好的
1014
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:52,400
你做了卧底一个月 全无线索
1015
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,840
我现在取消你危险的卧底工作
1016
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:56,600
马上到扫黄组报到
1017
00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:57,800
他们需要一个
1018
00:52:58,000 --> 00:52:59,200
像嫖客的人去放线
1019
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,160
不行啊 我还有工作在做啊
1020
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:02,920
由关德卿督察
1021
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:04,960
一个人接手全权负责
1022
00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:05,880
是 局长
1023
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:07,640
黑仔达协助 是 局长
1024
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:09,720
你以后不准再回圣育强中学
1025
00:53:13,720 --> 00:53:16,120
还有 小狗的爸爸已经被台湾
1026
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:17,680
第一号杀人王铁镇东杀死
1027
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,840
听说 铁镇东已经偷渡来香港
1028
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,160
准备杀小狗灭口
1029
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,320
阿卿 你加紧调查
1030
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:25,200
是 局长
1031
00:53:26,240 --> 00:53:28,240
局长 那坏消息是什么啊
1032
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:29,440
你上个月捉到的那个
1033
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,360
神经大贼傻波
1034
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:32,840
已经从医院逃出来了
1035
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,880
他走之前在墙上写了十四个大字
1036
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,600
我要出去跟四眼仔再玩
1037
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:42,200
局长 只有十个字而已啊
1038
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,160
还有四个字是脏话
1039
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,560
你是四眼仔是吗 小心了
1040
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:48,520
出去
1041
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:51,880
出去之前 帮我叫杯奶茶跟吐司
1042
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:54,400
你神经脱线了
1043
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,520
你也配要我帮你买奶茶
1044
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:58,800
我现在告诉你 我不干了
1045
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:00,600
圣育强中学我不会放弃
1046
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:02,360
我现在的身份是为人师表
1047
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:04,280
我要继续教下去 去你的
1048
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:05,440
候警官
1049
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:06,240
干什么
1050
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:08,280
做人潇洒一点
1051
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:10,480
候老师 候老师
1052
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:12,240
我明白你的苦处
1053
00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:13,760
你还当我是朋友吗
1054
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:14,120
当
1055
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,640
朋友的义务就是当有困难时
1056
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:16,720
要互相帮忙你知道吗
1057
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:17,280
知道啊
1058
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,040
那先借三千块钱嫖妓行不行啊
1059
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,800
你是谁啊 为什么打我
1060
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,920
他是我们大哥十四安 安哥啊
1061
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,320
小子 你记着我呀
1062
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:11,480
我可不是打你一次就算了
1063
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,880
今天放学以后在学校门口
1064
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:17,600
向我三个小弟磕十八个响头
1065
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:19,080
再拜我的门下
1066
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:22,320
否则的话 我见你一次就扁你一次
1067
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:47,720
你今天好像很烦的样子
1068
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:49,240
ACE今天没来上学
1069
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:50,320
又没跟学校请假
1070
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:54,280
这次他没话好说了吧
1071
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:55,640
第三节都下课了
1072
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,120
这次是不是铁定要开除他了
1073
00:55:58,920 --> 00:55:59,680
会不会有意外呀
1074
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:01,160
千万不要有意外呀
1075
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,640
我希望能够顺顺利利的
1076
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:03,600
把他开除就算了
1077
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:05,760
照我说 逐他出墙门是免不了了
1078
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:06,680
你少说两句
1079
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:10,400
校长 我觉得你这样针对ACE
1080
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:11,880
对他很不公平啊
1081
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:14,680
校长 他还是个小孩子啊
1082
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:16,480
话可不能这么说啊
1083
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:19,240
所谓国有国法 家有家规
1084
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:21,000
我们龙头对他不满
1085
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,520
怎么样也要把他抓回来受刑啊
1086
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:28,360
一阳指
1087
00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:29,760
是不是又想我掰你手指
1088
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:30,600
校长
1089
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:32,000
校长你怎么了
1090
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:33,120
我的胃好痛
1091
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:34,560
校长 你不是胃痛
1092
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,520
你是中了我的家传绝技一阳指
1093
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:38,920
校长 再给ACE—次机会嘛
1094
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:39,920
是啊 校长
1095
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:40,880
起码你要查清楚
1096
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:42,200
他迟到的原因啊
1097
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,440
一次 候老师
1098
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:46,960
什么事啊
1099
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,440
ACE你怎么会搞成这个样子
1100
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:52,240
他在校门口昏倒
1101
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:53,440
我扶他进来的
1102
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:55,080
看你现在这德性
1103
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:56,640
就知道你被人家给扁啦
1104
00:56:57,560 --> 00:56:58,960
我是被阿诺史瓦辛格的大哥
1105
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:00,120
十四安堵到的
1106
00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:02,880
平日就不好好读书
1107
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:04,200
光招惹黑社会
1108
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:05,640
你活该给人家扁
1109
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,240
打电话通知他家长办退学手续
1110
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:12,280
我没有家长 我老妈死了
1111
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:15,760
校长 这个学校有很多黑社会学生
1112
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:17,400
他是受害人 你不应该开除他的
1113
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:18,520
我不杀鸡敬猴
1114
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:20,000
那些学生怎么会变好
1115
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:20,440
没错
1116
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:21,480
如果一个月之内
1117
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:22,720
我把学校校风搞好
1118
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:24,840
每个成绩拿A 操行人人甲等
1119
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:25,880
你是不是不开除他
1120
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:27,440
你的出发点是非常的好
1121
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:29,800
光靠嘴巴也没有用啊 候老师
1122
00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:31,960
如果一个月之内我做不成功的话
1123
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:32,760
我自动辞职
1124
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:35,440
校长 我支持候老师
1125
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:38,880
校长 我跟你最对盘
1126
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:40,600
比我的拜把兄弟还要好
1127
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:43,320
这码事 我帮不了你
1128
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:47,720
林老师 我是跟定你啊
1129
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:50,520
我们支持候老师
1130
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:54,480
好 我就给你一个月的时间
1131
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:55,680
如果不是每个学生
1132
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:57,160
成绩拿A 操行甲等
1133
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:58,560
我照样开除他
1134
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:03,040
候老师好棒
1135
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,880
候老师 你不用这样为我
1136
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:11,640
你是我学生
1137
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:12,960
我有责任要帮你的嘛
1138
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,240
我怕今天都过不了
1139
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:18,280
为什么
1140
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:20,800
十四安约了我
1141
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:22,000
放学之后在门口等他
1142
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:23,960
要我向阿诺史瓦辛格认错
1143
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:26,920
什么话 十四安这么吊啊
1144
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:29,640
你不用怕 有老师我在这里
1145
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:31,800
我马上带班兄弟去敲了他
1146
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:34,960
你已经从良了 你忘啦
1147
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:37,400
是啊 那怎么办
1148
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:38,360
让我来
1149
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:44,720
你现在不是警察
1150
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:45,440
不要乱来啊
1151
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:50,280
舅舅啊
1152
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:51,560
我现在在学校里
1153
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:53,160
我都被妙鱿鱼了
1154
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:54,520
你不要搞这么多事情了
1155
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:56,200
我怎么都不会放弃
1156
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:57,680
我想找你帮个忙
1157
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:19,280
老大 他带一大堆人来了
1158
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:28,080
ACE 你还真乖
1159
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:29,440
带那多人来
1160
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:31,360
拜我做老大 入我门
1161
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:33,320
统统跪下来 向我磕头
1162
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:35,840
每个人要给三千三百块红包
1163
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:38,200
你在放屁啊 黑社会了不起啊
1164
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:40,960
小龟啊 妈在这
1165
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:42,280
放了学回家去吃饭啊
1166
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:43,520
老妈 你先回去
1167
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:44,560
我有正经事要做
1168
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:46,560
敢顶嘴 K他老母
1169
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,800
不要打我 不要打我
1170
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:52,880
老妈
1171
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:56,640
不要打老妈 不要打老妈
1172
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:58,160
不要打老妈
1173
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:00,680
老妈 我连累你了
1174
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:05,640
老大 K完他老母啦
1175
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:12,360
先生 请你不要用
1176
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,000
黑社会的手段来恐吓我学生
1177
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:15,800
因为这是不合法不道德
1178
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,320
不仁慈而且很搓的
1179
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:20,840
所谓家有家规 国有国法 而且
1180
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:22,160
你知不知道你在说什么
1181
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:22,920
说中文啊
1182
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,400
先生 尚未请教
1183
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:28,880
你老大我 十四安
1184
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:31,560
原来Fourteen安士
1185
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:33,640
看你的长相是人模人样
1186
01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:34,600
面目可憎
1187
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:36,240
不过我看见你有一颗善良的心
1188
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:37,920
不如我们化干戈为玉帛
1189
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:40,080
谁打我 谁打我
1190
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:41,360
有内奸 有内奸
1191
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:43,040
奸你个头啊 我打你呀
1192
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:44,120
尽说些废话
1193
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:48,400
十四安 ACE这码事我杠了
1194
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:50,200
如果你不服气的话
1195
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:51,440
我可以跟你单挑
1196
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:53,240
一对一 绝不舍盘
1197
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:57,960
陈老师 好棒哦
1198
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:01,440
你看那些学多拥护陈老师
1199
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:02,720
比你罩得住
1200
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,040
又瘦又矮 学人家扮老大
1201
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:05,880
你混哪里啊
1202
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:07,480
盘我底 我
1203
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:08,560
你自首从良了
1204
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,920
我到处混的 行吗
1205
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:14,440
敢耍我 扁他
1206
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:17,240
老师跟学生都不准打架
1207
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:18,040
那谁去打呀
1208
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:19,680
舅舅
1209
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:22,240
什么来路啊
1210
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:23,960
夺命剪刀脚
1211
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:32,720
救命呀
1212
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,520
我救你 谁来救我呀
1213
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:36,800
你是哪个黑社会的
1214
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:38,280
我不是黑社会
1215
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,560
我是外界游 胡来的
1216
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:43,440
骗人的 活该有今天啊
1217
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:45,880
ACE 出去收拾他 走
1218
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:47,600
我早说过了
1219
01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:49,000
老师跟学生都不能打架
1220
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:50,400
我的朋友就不同了
1221
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:51,880
夹爆你的头 不要
1222
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:54,280
还不道歉 道歉呀
1223
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:55,120
好 我道歉
1224
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,680
ACE哥 我是个屁
1225
01:01:59,960 --> 01:02:02,000
我不值得同情 我该死
1226
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,200
你大人大量 放了我吧
1227
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:05,160
还不快滚
1228
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:07,040
好 我滚
1229
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:13,680
我告诉你们 真正的大人物
1230
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:14,880
是不会乱欺负人的
1231
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:16,120
只有那些下流无赖
1232
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:17,280
才会骗学生的钱
1233
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:18,800
你们应该知道该做啦
1234
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:19,680
知道
1235
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:21,480
我们要拜侯老师当老大
1236
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:22,200
什么
1237
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:23,680
我们要走了
1238
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:25,760
那两个是警校的自由搏击教练
1239
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:27,200
我们还要回去上课呢
1240
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:28,840
我的一阳指还不行啊
1241
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:30,360
我知道 我已经录在录音带里面了
1242
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:31,560
你回去听听就明白了
1243
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:32,360
就这样了啊
1244
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:35,400
一阳指一定要心意合一
1245
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:36,600
才可以发挥力量
1246
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:38,000
你现在气运丹田
1247
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:39,840
丹田 哪里是丹田啊
1248
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:41,960
老二以上肚脐以下那里
1249
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:45,000
眼观鼻 鼻观心 心观老二
1250
01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:47,280
眼观老二还可以
1251
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:48,560
心怎么观老二啊
1252
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:49,800
不要顶嘴
1253
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:50,920
气运于指
1254
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:53,080
集中全身之力一指撮出
1255
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:27,080
相信你已经成功了
1256
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:28,880
我成功了 恭喜你
1257
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:29,960
但是这卷录音带
1258
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:31,600
在15秒之后自动爆炸
1259
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:32,440
你立刻离开
1260
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:33,680
不会吧
1261
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:36,720
死了 死了 怎么卡住了
1262
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:38,800
1 0 9 这下死定了
1263
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:39,720
8
1264
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:42,120
7 大哥呀
1265
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:45,600
候老师 怎么回事啊
1266
01:03:48,360 --> 01:03:49,040
干什么
1267
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:49,760
不能进去啊
1268
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:51,200
不要拉着我 我好急呀
1269
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:53,120
爆炸了
1270
01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:00,480
蟹哥
1271
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,360
老哥 帮帮忙 好辛苦呀
1272
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:04,960
怎么在这洗脸啊
1273
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:15,760
我顶
1274
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:35,440
我不抽烟啦 不要打我呀
1275
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:36,840
大家头 怎么样啊
1276
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:38,120
继续啊
1277
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:03,760
作弊 有人作弊呀
1278
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:05,480
打他 雷公手
1279
01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:09,440
你们不要这样打人啊
1280
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:10,760
可是老师 他作弊
1281
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:12,680
用拳头打是没有用的
1282
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:14,320
用鎯头K 也
1283
01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:15,240
拿去
1284
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:16,320
真的要打啊
1285
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:21,120
我不敢了 我下次再也不敢了
1286
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:24,000
打死你 看你还敢不敢
1287
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:26,560
好 好 谢谢你啊
1288
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:28,160
校长
1289
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:30,480
你两个拆那边 你两个拆这边
1290
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:31,040
你拆这里
1291
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:44,680
再见校长 快走快走
1292
01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:49,960
小心点 行了
1293
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:54,760
校长 这卷是你的写真集
1294
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:56,120
是我的精心杰作
1295
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:57,760
可惜没什么看头
1296
01:05:58,000 --> 01:05:58,760
你明白啦
1297
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:06,240
不知道他们拿什么
1298
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:07,120
好像成绩不错
1299
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:09,800
不如问问他们啊 好啊
1300
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,200
你拿什么 A
1301
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:13,280
ACE
1302
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:15,480
该你了
1303
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:20,480
谢谢校长
1304
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:23,640
拿什么
1305
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:24,640
A
1306
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:25,560
好厉害
1307
01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:26,920
黄小龟
1308
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:28,040
别担心啊
1309
01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:31,000
校长
1310
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:35,560
怎么样
1311
01:06:52,680 --> 01:06:53,040
收到
1312
01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:01,600
我决定收回要求你退学的建议
1313
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:03,280
谢谢校长
1314
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:05,400
这下好了 恭喜你了
1315
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:09,000
这次不用换地盘了
1316
01:07:09,560 --> 01:07:11,800
搞不好还可以混个堂主呢
1317
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,600
不过也要过了今天啊
1318
01:07:14,640 --> 01:07:14,960
为什么
1319
01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:17,160
今天是这个月的最后一天
1320
01:07:17,520 --> 01:07:19,840
如果今天之后再没有学生犯校规
1321
01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:20,960
那就可以正式生效
1322
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:22,240
我可以保证
1323
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:23,920
这所学校已经没有坏学生了
1324
01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:25,120
现在我们在学校里
1325
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:26,400
怎么走都不会被整了
1326
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:27,440
是就最好啦
1327
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:28,800
上课了
1328
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:30,400
罩子放亮点啊
1329
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:34,840
候老师 这下你可拉风了
1330
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:36,080
是有点满足感
1331
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:38,440
对了 我答应要请你吃饭
1332
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:40,120
不如今天晚上去你家
1333
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:41,680
我烧菜给你吃怎么样啊
1334
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:42,400
好啊
1335
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:46,560
什么事啊
1336
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:47,880
不好 我们出去吃吧
1337
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:49,480
干什么 不相信我的手艺啊
1338
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:50,280
不是
1339
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:54,400
我要去买汽水 你要不要喝啊
1340
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:55,120
好啊
1341
01:07:59,720 --> 01:08:01,000
阿卿 阿卿
1342
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,800
阿卿 阿卿
1343
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:13,800
被校长看到就惨了
1344
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,040
校长 我这个提议好不好
1345
01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:18,440
好 候老师呢
1346
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:19,200
在里面
1347
01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:22,320
这下惨了
1348
01:08:24,800 --> 01:08:27,080
候老师 刚刚林老师有个好主意
1349
01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:28,800
是吗
1350
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:29,720
我们开个PARTY
1351
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:31,680
庆祝所有的同学有如此的进步
1352
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:32,480
你说好不好啊
1353
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:34,360
好啊 很好啊
1354
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:37,120
林老师 就由你负责这个PARTY
1355
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:38,360
好啊 拜拜
1356
01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:39,680
拜拜
1357
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:53,280
你很喜欢这样晒太阳啊
1358
01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:56,400
是啊因为我很容易晒黑
1359
01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:59,120
这班学生现在变得乖了
1360
01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:00,840
现在到操场都不用带伞
1361
01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:02,680
校长领导有方嘛
1362
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:08,080
这样子太阳太刺眼了
1363
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,440
要晒这样才能够晒得黑嘛
1364
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:22,280
校长 我说过我很容易晒黑的
1365
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:26,000
这边的夕阳相当猛烈
1366
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:30,080
来来来 尝尝我做的蕃茄鱼
1367
01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:30,640
好呀
1368
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:35,440
这么多菜了 还煎荷包蛋呀
1369
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:37,280
荷包蛋好呀
1370
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:38,880
荷包蛋又有营养
1371
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:40,760
又下饭 味道又好啊
1372
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:44,360
念旧的人就会喜欢吃荷包蛋的
1373
01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:45,320
老爸 吃饭啦
1374
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:54,360
来 不用 我有了
1375
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:56,640
你吃啊 我不吃鱼
1376
01:09:58,520 --> 01:09:59,480
给你 你吃
1377
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,000
什么啊 没人吃就给我吃啊
1378
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:11,440
怎么了 噎到了
1379
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:13,280
卡到剌了
1380
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:14,200
我去拿醋
1381
01:10:19,440 --> 01:10:20,680
把嘴巴张大一点啊
1382
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:23,440
好深啊我拿不出来
1383
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:24,760
还是你来吧
1384
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:25,680
好呀
1385
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:32,240
怎么样 你没事了吧 好点没有
1386
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:34,640
老爸 我下楼吃牛肉面了
1387
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:36,840
阿卿呀
1388
01:10:37,360 --> 01:10:38,280
觉得怎么样
1389
01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:40,160
出来了吧 出来就好了
1390
01:10:40,480 --> 01:10:41,760
难怪这瓶醋没有了
1391
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:43,480
原来被人喝光了
1392
01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:46,840
多少柔情多少泪
1393
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:49,760
泪已流干心已碎
1394
01:10:52,720 --> 01:10:54,120
你有好多事情瞒着我
1395
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:54,840
我
1396
01:10:54,920 --> 01:10:56,720
你和屋子里面那个女学生有感情
1397
01:10:57,200 --> 01:10:58,680
没有啊 你不用否认
1398
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:01,520
这个世界上只有女人最了解女人
1399
01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:03,480
我发觉到 你有点喜欢我
1400
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,080
什么 你不用否认
1401
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:07,320
只有女人最了解男人
1402
01:11:08,480 --> 01:11:09,400
你们这么说
1403
01:11:09,720 --> 01:11:11,000
你们女人不是什么都知道
1404
01:11:12,240 --> 01:11:13,160
你不用否认
1405
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:14,640
我知道你是这么想的
1406
01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:16,960
对 我承认我是有点喜欢你
1407
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:21,120
对了 我发觉你不是真正的老师
1408
01:11:21,600 --> 01:11:22,960
她也不是真正的学生
1409
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:25,240
其实我不应该告诉你
1410
01:11:26,600 --> 01:11:28,680
不过我觉得你这个人可以信赖
1411
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:30,880
我本来是个警察
1412
01:11:31,240 --> 01:11:32,240
不过现在不是了
1413
01:11:33,320 --> 01:11:34,840
希望你能帮我保守这个秘密
1414
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:37,320
拜拜 拜拜
1415
01:11:41,760 --> 01:11:44,720
有时候 事情要作出选择的
1416
01:11:45,080 --> 01:11:45,400
我知道
1417
01:11:49,480 --> 01:11:50,480
他是个老实人
1418
01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:51,760
如果知道我的身份
1419
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:52,720
不知道会怎么想
1420
01:12:07,480 --> 01:12:10,800
梦想梦想 你真是所有男人的梦想
1421
01:12:14,480 --> 01:12:17,200
但是 我是个吃过荷包蛋的人
1422
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:22,400
看起来还是她比较顺眼
1423
01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:25,800
我梦游而已梦游而已
1424
01:12:25,880 --> 01:12:27,440
我什么都没看见 什么都没看见
1425
01:12:28,080 --> 01:12:28,960
什么事啊
1426
01:12:31,120 --> 01:12:33,240
现在没事了 没事了
1427
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:34,720
没事了
1428
01:12:39,560 --> 01:12:40,960
荷包蛋万岁
1429
01:12:43,480 --> 01:12:44,880
荷包蛋万岁
1430
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:46,920
陈老师你的 谢谢啊
1431
01:12:57,400 --> 01:12:59,840
校长 听说以前学校开PARTY
1432
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:01,120
不准跳慢舞
1433
01:13:02,120 --> 01:13:03,200
以前的学生坏嘛
1434
01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:05,720
今晚解禁 大家都可以跳慢四步
1435
01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:07,560
校长英明神武
1436
01:13:07,920 --> 01:13:09,200
真是该他当龙头啊
1437
01:13:09,520 --> 01:13:12,040
下一届有谁够种不选你当龙头
1438
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:13,080
我就劈死他
1439
01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:16,400
我也想跟林老师跳一下舞的嘛
1440
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:20,040
死老淫虫
1441
01:13:24,440 --> 01:13:25,120
好漂亮啊
1442
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:29,680
这个学生完全不一样啊 来来来
1443
01:13:30,040 --> 01:13:31,320
好酒沉瓮底啊
1444
01:13:33,360 --> 01:13:34,400
这个你没份啊
1445
01:13:37,880 --> 01:13:38,960
标准的四眼淫虫
1446
01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:43,640
你们 慢慢聊啦
1447
01:13:49,160 --> 01:13:49,960
你还气我
1448
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:57,240
这次任务真是失败 没找到小狗
1449
01:13:57,720 --> 01:14:00,360
不过我发觉 原来我很适合教书
1450
01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:02,480
找不到也没什么关系啊
1451
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:04,360
我打算结婚了
1452
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:07,520
跟谁结婚啊
1453
01:14:09,440 --> 01:14:10,320
跟我
1454
01:14:10,960 --> 01:14:12,480
不是 跟阿呆
1455
01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:15,440
阿呆
1456
01:14:15,960 --> 01:14:17,600
各位同学 静一静
1457
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:18,840
请你们走过来
1458
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:21,960
我们先来玩一个游戏
1459
01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:24,280
叫做捉恐怖份子
1460
01:14:27,440 --> 01:14:28,840
老兄 有什么事啊
1461
01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:30,600
先生 什么事啊你们
1462
01:15:33,360 --> 01:15:33,800
打人
1463
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:42,840
我今天来不是要动粗
1464
01:15:44,200 --> 01:15:45,120
只要你们合作
1465
01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:48,280
我是要找一个叫小狗的男生
1466
01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:51,760
他的屁股上有个红色的胎记
1467
01:15:53,200 --> 01:15:53,720
小狗
1468
01:15:54,200 --> 01:15:55,720
谁是这里最高的负责人
1469
01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:57,280
我是这里的校长
1470
01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:01,360
我希望你不要伤害这里的学生
1471
01:16:02,040 --> 01:16:03,280
好 那我就伤害你
1472
01:16:14,920 --> 01:16:16,840
谁是这里第二负责人
1473
01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:19,120
是他 是他
1474
01:16:19,440 --> 01:16:19,840
出来
1475
01:16:20,520 --> 01:16:22,160
去啊 快出去啊
1476
01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:30,880
哪一个是小狗 找出来
1477
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:32,880
我不知道啊
1478
01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:35,880
就算知道 我也不说啊 是不是
1479
01:16:40,480 --> 01:16:41,920
你是想让我伤害你的学生
1480
01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:43,160
不是啊
1481
01:16:44,440 --> 01:16:45,200
干吗打我
1482
01:16:46,080 --> 01:16:47,120
原来是你
1483
01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:48,920
他是个条子
1484
01:16:51,240 --> 01:16:51,920
我们也是
1485
01:16:56,640 --> 01:16:57,960
有条子就放心了
1486
01:17:03,280 --> 01:17:03,840
洋酒
1487
01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:11,600
铁肚皮
1488
01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:12,800
铁布杉
1489
01:17:14,280 --> 01:17:15,000
你不要乱来啊
1490
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:16,360
你也不要乱来
1491
01:17:20,280 --> 01:17:20,840
是你
1492
01:17:21,640 --> 01:17:22,920
我跟你都是一样的
1493
01:17:23,320 --> 01:17:24,840
只不过我是对方的卧底
1494
01:17:25,560 --> 01:17:26,200
做得好
1495
01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:29,000
林老师
1496
01:17:30,360 --> 01:17:33,000
先干掉他们 以免夜长梦多
1497
01:17:33,360 --> 01:17:35,240
铁大哥 这个就交给我了
1498
01:17:35,920 --> 01:17:37,120
我也是国际刑警
1499
01:17:37,440 --> 01:17:38,640
特地派来对付你的
1500
01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:39,440
你敢耍我
1501
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:58,440
走啊 快点走啊 走啊
1502
01:17:59,720 --> 01:18:00,800
熄掉了 现在怎么样啊
1503
01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:01,600
上去看看
1504
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:07,960
怎么样
1505
01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:10,080
线全被切断了
1506
01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:12,480
快点走 我们要出去报警
1507
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:14,320
不行 我不能走啊
1508
01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:18,400
你进去会死的
1509
01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:20,760
你现在不是警察
1510
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:22,040
没有必要冒那么大险
1511
01:18:23,840 --> 01:18:25,080
我知道你对我真的很好
1512
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:26,400
我实在很感激你
1513
01:18:26,760 --> 01:18:27,920
但是这个时候 我不可以
1514
01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:29,560
丢下我未婚妻一个人走掉
1515
01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:31,440
希望你明白我是一个
1516
01:18:31,760 --> 01:18:32,920
喜欢吃荷包蛋的男人
1517
01:19:14,960 --> 01:19:15,920
小狗在哪里
1518
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:17,920
去死
1519
01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:44,440
AEC呀
1520
01:19:45,040 --> 01:19:45,520
候老师
1521
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:46,960
你们两个怎么样
1522
01:19:47,480 --> 01:19:47,920
我们没事
1523
01:19:48,760 --> 01:19:49,560
派对的人怎么样
1524
01:19:58,760 --> 01:20:01,120
那个家伙秀逗啊 你们快走啊
1525
01:20:01,320 --> 01:20:02,440
我们怎么可以扔下你啊
1526
01:20:02,720 --> 01:20:03,800
他是来抓我的
1527
01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:05,360
不关你们的事 快走啊
1528
01:20:06,920 --> 01:20:08,960
关我的事 我就是小狗
1529
01:20:10,320 --> 01:20:12,160
难怪上次你要我露屁股给人家看
1530
01:20:12,360 --> 01:20:12,800
对不起
1531
01:20:13,920 --> 01:20:14,920
我不想再见到我爸爸
1532
01:20:16,040 --> 01:20:16,920
所以想隐藏自己
1533
01:20:17,440 --> 01:20:18,760
但是我不知道会搞成这样
1534
01:20:19,240 --> 01:20:20,440
你以后不用再隐藏了
1535
01:20:21,440 --> 01:20:22,680
你爸爸已经被他们杀了
1536
01:20:30,400 --> 01:20:32,680
你快走 我知道怎么对付他
1537
01:20:33,200 --> 01:20:34,400
小龟 你帮我
1538
01:20:35,480 --> 01:20:36,160
怎么帮啊
1539
01:20:36,440 --> 01:20:37,320
我引他到化学室
1540
01:20:37,760 --> 01:20:39,040
现在是八点五十三分
1541
01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:41,200
七分钟之后 就是九点整
1542
01:20:41,520 --> 01:20:43,960
你就按下下课铃 OK 记住了
1543
01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:46,920
你想放瓦斯 下课铃一响
1544
01:20:47,200 --> 01:20:48,400
擦出火花 炸死他
1545
01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:49,960
候老师 那你怎么办
1546
01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:52,640
我生命线这么长 没事的 快走
1547
01:20:53,280 --> 01:20:54,200
那我们对表 好
1548
01:20:55,680 --> 01:20:56,320
我也去帮忙
1549
01:20:57,480 --> 01:20:58,280
你帮候老师啊好
1550
01:21:00,320 --> 01:21:03,320
傻瓜 我在这里 快点来啊
1551
01:21:05,880 --> 01:21:06,320
没事的
1552
01:21:06,520 --> 01:21:08,680
没事 这么大个洞还在冒烟呢
1553
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:12,400
快走 快走啊
1554
01:21:40,120 --> 01:21:40,960
你不要开枪啊
1555
01:21:42,960 --> 01:21:44,040
看你往哪里跑
1556
01:21:44,480 --> 01:21:44,920
还跑
1557
01:21:51,320 --> 01:21:54,040
一阳指 我撮撮撮
1558
01:21:56,160 --> 01:21:57,920
你不要掰我手指 这么阴险啊
1559
01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:14,080
你们两个不要压着我
1560
01:22:14,400 --> 01:22:15,440
我不爱这套的
1561
01:22:16,960 --> 01:22:18,200
上一次我们没有玩完
1562
01:22:18,760 --> 01:22:19,880
这一次我们再玩过
1563
01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:22,080
不过这一次一玩就玩五颗
1564
01:22:34,240 --> 01:22:36,160
这么浓的瓦斯味他都没有闻到
1565
01:22:46,440 --> 01:22:48,360
没办法 还是你
1566
01:22:54,040 --> 01:22:54,520
不好意思啊
1567
01:22:54,880 --> 01:22:57,160
不要紧 这次我们玩满六颗
1568
01:22:58,280 --> 01:22:58,880
六颗
1569
01:23:07,760 --> 01:23:10,160
惨啦 还有十几秒就要爆炸了
1570
01:23:24,480 --> 01:23:25,440
糟了 来不及了
1571
01:23:34,840 --> 01:23:37,040
化学室 化学室 化
1572
01:23:38,680 --> 01:23:39,880
惨啦 哪间是化学室
1573
01:23:40,160 --> 01:23:41,120
哪间是数学室呀
1574
01:23:43,040 --> 01:23:45,320
还有两秒 拼一拼
1575
01:23:48,040 --> 01:23:48,840
不是这间啊
1576
01:23:55,120 --> 01:23:56,200
有话慢慢说啊
1577
01:24:00,880 --> 01:24:01,480
这个
1578
01:24:12,400 --> 01:24:14,240
我成功了 我成功了
1579
01:24:15,680 --> 01:24:17,520
傻波 你这个王八蛋
1580
01:24:17,640 --> 01:24:18,960
俄罗斯轮盘是嘛
1581
01:24:19,720 --> 01:24:21,760
你还不死 你去吃屎啊
1582
01:24:25,040 --> 01:24:26,600
老师 你真的好帅啊
1583
01:24:29,360 --> 01:24:30,400
你以为我想帅呀
1584
01:24:30,440 --> 01:24:32,240
你来啊 你这个白痴
1585
01:24:36,720 --> 01:24:38,440
达叔 达叔
1586
01:24:40,040 --> 01:24:40,800
候老师他们呢
1587
01:24:40,880 --> 01:24:42,040
好像去了体育馆
1588
01:24:42,520 --> 01:24:43,080
报警
1589
01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:00,120
还有什么功夫
1590
01:25:04,560 --> 01:25:05,520
他练过铁布衫
1591
01:25:05,920 --> 01:25:07,000
攻他胸口和喉咙
1592
01:25:20,240 --> 01:25:21,720
团结力量大
1593
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:25,840
美式足球
1594
01:25:35,960 --> 01:25:37,120
我跳不到那么高
1595
01:25:37,480 --> 01:25:38,960
我现在该怎么办啊
1596
01:25:39,480 --> 01:25:41,880
怎么办 猴子偷桃 攻他下阴
1597
01:25:42,440 --> 01:25:45,320
快点啊 快点啊
1598
01:25:57,200 --> 01:25:58,240
为什么没事啊
1599
01:26:00,680 --> 01:26:01,400
不是真的吧
1600
01:26:09,240 --> 01:26:10,080
杀死我爸
1601
01:26:17,440 --> 01:26:18,880
原来你就是小狗
1602
01:26:23,480 --> 01:26:23,960
惨了
1603
01:26:25,360 --> 01:26:27,520
不要打他 放开他
1604
01:26:28,440 --> 01:26:29,120
开玩笑的
1605
01:26:29,440 --> 01:26:30,280
去你奶奶的
1606
01:26:34,960 --> 01:26:36,560
我跟你拼了
1607
01:26:41,920 --> 01:26:43,720
一阳指果然比剪刀脚厉害
1608
01:27:03,800 --> 01:27:05,040
小乌龟 有
1609
01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:29,360
不是一定要你说
1610
01:27:29,720 --> 01:27:31,440
你说的话都会作为呈堂证供
1611
01:27:31,560 --> 01:27:32,080
知不知道啊
1612
01:27:32,480 --> 01:27:33,760
你没事吧 没事
1613
01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:35,120
你看我像有事吗
1614
01:27:35,600 --> 01:27:36,240
看什么看
1615
01:27:37,720 --> 01:27:40,480
你们快点过来帮帮忙啊 好重啊
1616
01:27:43,200 --> 01:27:45,480
ACE 不要整天只顾住玩滑板呀
1617
01:27:46,560 --> 01:27:48,040
你们大家要专心读书啊
1618
01:27:48,080 --> 01:27:49,040
我会想念你们的
1619
01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:56,600
老师 再见
1620
01:27:57,560 --> 01:27:59,520
候老师 有句我想跟你说
1621
01:27:59,840 --> 01:28:01,360
但是又不知道该不该说
1622
01:28:01,760 --> 01:28:02,240
你说啊
1623
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:04,960
你帅呆了 i love you
1624
01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:06,760
候老师 赶时间呀
1625
01:28:07,160 --> 01:28:08,360
好好 来了来了
1626
01:28:10,520 --> 01:28:11,320
我会等你
1627
01:28:12,520 --> 01:28:12,920
局长
1628
01:28:13,400 --> 01:28:15,360
我现在决定 升你当总督察
1629
01:28:15,680 --> 01:28:16,320
你马上复职
1630
01:28:16,840 --> 01:28:17,920
是 谢谢局长
1631
01:28:18,760 --> 01:28:20,880
但是我觉得警察再也不适合我了
1632
01:28:21,480 --> 01:28:22,360
那什么才适合你
1633
01:28:23,560 --> 01:28:24,040
他们啰
1634
01:28:25,240 --> 01:28:27,040
局长 我想继续去当老师
1635
01:28:27,560 --> 01:28:28,640
因为教好这些小鬼
1636
01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:29,760
我很有成功感
1637
01:28:31,480 --> 01:28:32,080
对不起 局长
1638
01:28:36,720 --> 01:28:37,800
我回来了
1639
01:28:38,720 --> 01:28:41,560
好棒啊 候老师好棒啊
1640
01:28:42,280 --> 01:28:43,240
你的男朋友没出息
1641
01:28:43,760 --> 01:28:44,720
不要嫁给他
1642
01:28:45,200 --> 01:28:45,840
先饿死
1643
01:28:46,480 --> 01:28:47,120
开门呀
1644
01:28:47,520 --> 01:28:48,160
是 局长
1645
01:28:49,560 --> 01:28:50,560
局长 等一等
1646
01:28:51,600 --> 01:28:53,280
局长 局长
1647
01:28:57,080 --> 01:28:58,680
我舅舅有件事情很想做
1648
01:28:58,880 --> 01:28:59,920
但是一直没有做到
1649
01:29:00,320 --> 01:29:00,760
是什么
1650
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:01,840
就是
1651
01:29:02,760 --> 01:29:04,320
看你以后怎么喂奶
97054
