All language subtitles for BostonLegal.2.23.RaceIpsa.EN

Previously on ‘Boston Legal’…

I used to work on the Texas Innocence Project.

One of my cases is up on appeal.
I could really use your help.

I'm looking for the best lawyer
I can find. I think that's you.

I don't like jibber jabber in my courtroom.

Oh my goodness.

That's about as far as you should go.

She just kissed you.

I'm not going to pursue it.

He shoots a client in the knee,

he then shoots a homeless man
with a paintball gun.

Could you kindly point in any direction
other than my head.

It's not loaded.

Oh, I guess it is.

For God's sake Denny.

It's just that I feel
my song is still in me.

What song?

My song.

Everybody has a song in them,
Sidney. You should know that.

Oh, I see. And yours is
still unsung. Is that it?

Yeah.

I mean here I am in my seventies
and I still feel that

everything I wanted
to express in life

is still bottled up inside me
like a kidney stone.

Talk to me Sidney.
What are you thinking?

I think you're bored, Denny.

Bored?

How can I be bored?
I'm Denny Crane.

Even the sound of my name fascinates.

More Sidney! More about me.

Yeah. Okay.

Well, I think that you are a
silverspoon-fed, rich, empty sack

who has nothing to do now but
count his money, or spend it

on hookers and therapists who
offer up some form of affirmation,

and frankly, I'm sick of it!

I would no longer even treat you,

but for the 600 dollars an hour
I charge, which sum,

I might assure you, which is meant
to deter your recurring visits.

Do you understand me Denny?

I would sooner leap from the window
than see your lips move,

the sight of which is the visual cue

that feculent blather
is about to spew forth.

This is no way for a therapist
to talk to a patient.

My official medical recommendation
would be that you take yoga classes,

so that you might gain
the necessary flexibility

to stick your head up your ass.

Well… I do feel like
an empty sack sometimes.

In occasions, depression.

It even caused me to buy
a handgun to end it.

I even carry it around with me,

never knowing when I might decide
to join the ranks of the unliving.

And then I think to myself,
“How unoriginal”.

Suicide is so ordinary.

But,

if I were to shoot my doctor,

well…

Ah now, Denny, but that would result in
you actually accomplishing something real.

You see, something actual,

as opposed to the manufactured heroics
of your publicist, the mad cow,

and then it suddenly might matter,
really matter that you were born.

And how would you handle that
after seventy plus years of

unmitigated insignificance?

You don't think I matter?

Oh, pull the trigger, Denny!

Do something to rise above
your insipid press releases.

All the meaninglessness! Just pull it!!

You think I won't?

Actually, I happen to know you will.

I happen to know you must.

You see, you're pointing a gun

at your thereapist, who's not only got
a death wish of his own,

but also a life insurance policy
which excludes suicide.

And you see, Denny,
I've often wondered,

“How could I possibly end my life without
forfeiting my son's Harvard education?”

But if I were to be murdered, then…

So…

You must shoot me,
or I will shoot you.

Go ahead, pull the trigger
or I will kill you.

Okay, Sidney.

Pull it!

I'm not gonna shoot you! Don't be ridiculous.

Then you must die.

Come on, Sidney, game's over.

Give you the count of three.

One…

Sidney!

Two…

For God's sake!

Three.

What now?

Denny shot his therapist.

Dear God!

Paint ball?

Real bullets.

Is he…?

No, the man is apparently going to survive.

He's in the hospital. Denny's in custody…

Where's Alan?

It's not that I'm not ready, your honor,
it's that I was called for trial.

Division 6, Judge Holt.

Judge Holt does not control
my courtroom.

I told you the last time,
there'd be no further continuances.

I cannot be in two places
at the same time.

Then you should have gotten
somebody else from your office to cover.

Somebody else? The public defender's
office is so over extended.

So is the DA's office.
He's here and ready.

Of course he's ready, because
they prioritize the racial profiling cases.

I object to that, your honor.

The truth is we shouldn't even be here.

Save it for trial counsel,
which will begin tomorrow,

either with or without you.
Adjourned!

Excuse me.

I couldn't help but overhear which is
so often the case when people shout.

My name is Alan Shore.
I'm an extraordinary attorney.

I could tell you stories,
but more incredibly, I'm available.

Alan!

Chelena.

Oh my God.

How are you?

I'm fine. How are you?

Today, a little dyspeptic
but in general I'm splendid.

God, the last time I saw you…

I think it was a Sunday.

Then I was taken off the air,
you went off to do movies,

and I got switched to Tuesdays…

And here we are, with old footage.

Exactly.

You look smashing.

And you're black.

Sorry?

This is fate.

I just took a case where I think
race was a factor. Profiling.

I'd love to exploit you, which I believe
you invited me to do once.

I meant sexually.

Yes.

So this case involves persecution,
civil rights, all the good stuff.

Can legal aides spare you?
The client's indigent.

Alan, the last time
we worked together I kissed you.

Really? I've forgotten.
You'll have to refresh me on that.

Excuse me.

My lover.

Hello, Denny.

You did what?

Thought he was a quail.

I'm not laughing.

It's total self defense.

After I threatened to kill him, the bastard
threatened to kill me. It's not right.

Why were you carrying the gun?

I have a constitutional right to bear arms.

Not a concealed weapon you don't.

Oh, yes I do,

and the Supreme Court's gonna say so,

just as soon as they finish
overturning Roe vs Wade.

Denny, this time you've gone way too far.

You always say that.

No I don't. Paul Lewiston does.

Besides, you shot a man, another man.

I'm telling you I had no choice.

The man was gonna kill me.

He could go to jail for this.
I mean, how could he avoid it?

Well, first of all, he's claiming self defense.

Second, the guy's apparently okay.
He just took it in the clavical.

And third, we're talking about Denny.
He shoots people all the time.

Well, you're probably right.

He's probably already booked himself
on Larry King Live.

What's happening with Sandy?

Nothing.

I thought you were gonna…

Nothing's happening with Sandy.

Didn't you have your big second date?

Nothing's happening with Sandy.

She dumped me.

Sorry. Did she say why?

Doesn't really matter.

Brad, while I appreciate how
deeply guarded you are,

you need to share more.
You don't have any friends to talk to.

I have plenty.

Name three.

What happened?

You know, I'm going to tell you,

just to see if the look on your face
remotely matches the look on mine when she…

You know why she dumped me?

Because I'm a lousy kisser.

Yeah, exactly my reaction.

Well, um… All I can say,

if that is in fact the reason…

It is.

You're sure?

I called an ex-girlfriend,
she confirmed it.

Confirmed it?

I'm the worst kisser in the history of…
the planet.

Oh.

Yeah. Let me ask you something.

Is it really that important
in the scheme of a relationship

and all it's potential, including but
not limited to the parenting of children,

is how a man kisses really that important?

Well, at the beginning,

all the promise of romance,
and forgive me, but the magic…

it's yes, it's in the kiss.

Women are always complaining
about not being taken seriously.

And you look at the leading
woman's magazines,

Vogue, Cosmopolitan, it's always about

“how do I get a man?”, “how do I look?”,
“how do I please a man in bed?”

And I discover that they're willing to measure
the substance of a relationship with a kiss.

It isn't men who demean women.

It's women.

Hey Alan. How's it going?

Fine, thanks, how are you?
You can get back to me on that.

Brad, if there's something trapped in there,

I encourage you to let it out quickly.
I'm due in court.

Well, I was wondering,

if I could join you and Denny
on the balcony sometime?

Just trying to diversify my life
with some male bonding and

I was wondering… you know.

Brad, any gathering of three or more men
always seems like a team to me,

and I've never been much of a team player.

So if you're going to show, count me out.

But is there something specific
you'd like to talk about?

Are you a good kisser?

Case number 62345,

the Commonwealth vs Denny Crane,
attempted murd—

Alan Shore for the defendant,
we'll waive reading of the charges.

Oh dear God, it's you.

I know who I am, counsel.

You don't need to tell me it's me.

I know perfectly well it's me.

That's superfluous information
that is tantamount to jibber jabber.

I do not tolerate jibber jabber
in my courtroom.

The defense enters a plea of not guilty
and move for a probable cause hearing.

Why?

Why?

First up, because I'm entitled to,
second, because I feel…

He shot him.

The victim is in the hospital.

I think I have enough probable cause,
Mr Shoop.

Actually your honor,
since our last get-together,

I've changed my name
from Shoop to Shore.

I figured since it's already
on my driver's license and passport,

not to mention all the pleadings before you,

though I'd never presume
you'd read pleadings of course…

They're jibber jabber.

The victim is in fact scheduled
to be released from the hospital today.

It was simply a shoulder wound,

which was where my client was hoping
the bullet would land,

once the gun accidentally went off,

when the victim threatened to shoot my client,
putting him in reasonable fear for his life.

You honor, if he wants a probable cause hearing,

let him call the arresting officer.

The arresting officer wasn't there.
It was only my client and Dr Fields.

We're talking about attempted murder here.

The damage to Mr Crane's reputation
could be irreparable.

These charges never should have been filed,

and I should be allowed a probable cause hearing.

You talk to much.

Assuming the victim is physically able,

we shall reconvene at 3 pm tomorrow,
you talker!

Enough of this… this…

Poopycock!

Poopycock.

Poopycock.

Oh no. No no no no. No you don't.

Get out, Denny.

Dr Fields, I'm Alan Shore.

You undoubtedly know by now

that we've subpoena'ed you to appear
at a probable cause hearing.

Well that's not a very wise ploy, Mr Shore.
What is it you expect me to say?

That you forced Denny to shoot you.
That you gave him no choice.

Oh, you don't wanna be calling me
to the stand, okay?

Dr Fields, Denny informed me

that your intense desire to die
played a significant part in what happened.

You know, often when people contemplate dying,
they take measure of their legacy.

I'm assuming yours thus far consist of many things.

Denny assured me honesty is one of them.

I shall count on you to be honest
in that witness chair tomorrow, sir.

Well now, I wouldn't count on anything
if I were you.

Sidney, I never would've shot you,
you know that.

Dear God, what now?

The managing partners
have convened a meeting.

The topic of discussion is deposing Denny.
Expelling him from the firm.

What? First of all, the financial hit…

They don't care. They've had enough.

Second of all, they need to read
their partnership agreement. Denny can't…

Evidently we need to read it.

There is a clause which calls for his ouster

should he ever be convicted of a felony,
which he is certainly looking at now.

What do we do now?

I don't know.

They seem serious.

Why shouldn't they be?

He shoots people.

Massachussettes has no
“Stop-and-identify Statute,”

so we can make the argument that
the arrest was unlawful and therefore,

our client had the right to resist.

That'll never fly.

Well, it doesn't need to fly

so much as flap and flutter
its way to reasonable doubt.

Profiling is wrong, we certainly don't do it
when we're selling off our ports.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Who's closing here?

Sorry?

With the case. Should I close or you?

I'll take the client and you can close.

Alan!

May I?

I'm not terribly comfortable with you
working closely with this woman.

What?

I'm tapped into office gossip.

I happen to know you kissed her
during the death penalty thingy case.

You're kissing me now, remember?

Melissa, you and I kissed once.
I barely participated.

We certainly didn't agree
to any kind of exclusivity.

No hickies or pins or Letterman jackets.

You and I are in a relationship, Alan.

The fact that you don't realize it
doesn't give you license to be unfaithful.

You're mad as a hatter.

When two people sleep together.

That was a night terror thing.

I'm talking about the sex.

What sex?

The sex you and I both know is coming.

Don't fall for her, Alan.

She's just a guest star.

He seemed to be just staring
at one of the houses.

It seemed very odd.

We asked him for identification
and he refused to provide it.

And then what happened?

We asked him again, he continued to refuse,

so we attempted to take him into custody.
That's when he became violent.

We eventually overcame him,
placed him under arrest.

When you arrived at the scene,
did you ask him what he was doing?

He said he found the houses
on this street quite beautiful,

and he enjoyed looking at them.

And is that lawful in this neighborhood,
to look at houses that you find beautiful?

Of course.

Is it your pattern to ask people for identification

when they're engaging in lawful behavior.

He didn't live there. So I thought that…

How did you know that?

I patrol that neighborhood.

I pretty much know who lives there
and who doesn't.

You know everybody in this neighborhood?
Every person?

Not every person, but…

How did you know my client
didn't live there?

We have the right to ask citizens
for identification.

That's all I did.

You know what?

I checked you out.
You're an exemplary officer.

You also have a reputation for honesty.

Honestly, officer,

your decision to ask my client
for identification, was his race a factor?

Officer. Was it at all a factor?

That he was black…

Black in an all-white neighborhood.

Yes, it was a factor.

Alan.

Shirley.

How are we doing?

If you mean with Denny, I've got
a probable cause hearing scheduled.

I'm trying to make this go away,
though I can't possibly see how.

You need to.
Wagons are starting to circle.

If he gets any kind of conviction…

Shirley.

Surely. Shirley!
He'll be convicted of something.

Well it can't be a felony. There's a clause
in the partnership agreement.

It's serious, Alan.

Partners seem inclined to expunge him.

Well, his name is on the wall.

They'll keep the name and broom him.

I see no way of dodging that short of
you having sex with the judge.

I'm sorry, I now feel queasy
having even thought of that.

What about the victim?
Can he be influenced?

I doubt it.

Even if he consented to being shot,
which he seemingly did,

that still doesn't absolve Denny.

Do you have a plan?

At the moment, no.

So stupid.

Then why are you being so…

Because I'm being stupid.
It's like frickin' high school, for God's sakes.

Okay.

Tell me exactly what happened.

I told you. I was on a date.
It was a terrific date.

With another woman?

Where do you find all these women, anyway?

I'm a lawyer. I was a marine. Do the math.

I'm the complete package.

Right. So…

So, I get to her front step.

Clearly, she would have received
my kissing her.

I wanted to kiss her.

I was going to kiss her, but I didn't,

because I have this new phobia.

I mean, a kiss is just a kiss, right?
It's what the stupid song says.

What exactly are you doing when you kiss?

I do what everybody else does.

Yeah, exactly what?

Lips meet, at some point
I put my tongue in,

swish it around a little.

Ah, well.

Maybe you could use
some pointers or something.

I happen to be a very advanced kisser.

Maybe I could walk you through this a little.

Don't be ridiculous.

Beats having a phobia.

No, it doesn't.

Fine.

Don't even ask.

Mr Prior, why were you
in that neighborhood?

I liked to dream.

One dream, I guess my American dream,

is someday I'd like to live
in a home like those.

I enjoyed the architecture,
the landscaping.

You realize that a police officer
has the right to ask for identification?

And if I would have been doing anything
suspect, I would have given it to him.

If it would have been a random thing,
I would have complied.

But it wasn't. I was targeted
because I was the wrong color.

But Mr Prior, come on, you physically
resisted the police officers.

I never assaulted them.

I just…

When the pushed me to the ground
and tried to handcuff me,

I simply fought back.

If a police officer sees a man he believes
to be a stranger in the neigborhood,

and that man is strangely staring
at houses for no apparent reason,

is it your testimony that it's unreasonable
to ask that man his name?

It's unreasonable to ask him
simply because he's black.

If the man had been white,
staring at the houses,

it would be okay to ask his name.

If he would have been white,
he wouldn't have been asked,

that's my point.

Plead guilty?

They've offered probation.

You're asking me to plead guilty.

Mr Prior, your testimony went well.
But let's not kid ourselves.

Under the law, the police can
constitutionally require identification

without probable cause,
without reasonable suspicion.

How can that be?

Because the public wants to feel safe.

And people, especially the white ones,
don't want the black ones staring at their homes.

Now, we can keep fighting here,

but you must know that
the law does not support us.

I wanna fight.

How's it looking?

Not good, Denny.

Oh…

Aside from the case at hand,

we've got your rather colorful history
of shooting people.

There was the man in the office last year.

He took you hostage.

Paintball incident.

He through a rock at me.

Your own client.

In the knee.

It simply won't be a big leap for a jury
to think you'd happily plug your therapist.

No… no…

It's different this time.

I… shot a human being.
A real human being.

The others weren't?

Well, the two were criminals and the other
was homeless, but Sidney is real…

He pays taxes, he lives, he breathes.
He's a Republican.

We're just… so desensitized to guns.

I… I don't like to admit this…

I laughed when I heard that the Vice-President
mistook his friend for a bird.

I actually laughed.

You were the only one.

But to see it for real…

I still can't shake the image
of Sidney going down.

And I, I never thought I could say this,

but I can't bring, bring myself
to so much as look at a gun.

Denny.

The way he fell,

I thought he was dead. Gone.

Now I'm gone.

It's not over yet, Denny.

Alan, so help me God,

if you ever catch me looking at a gun again…

How are we doing?

A list of everything you love about me.

That's my closing. What do I say?

The police can legally require an ID.
He resisted arrest.

Under the law, he's guilty.

What am I supposed to do?

Ask the jury to disregard the law?

You need to have faith in them, Chelena.

You need to remember these are people
of conscience, of compassion.

You need to remember that they're
too stupid to get out of jury duty.

I am not that cynical.

I know you're not.

Shirley Schmidt.

She assigned me to a case recently,
to close.

She felt I had a certain capacity to see
the darkness in people's hearts.

One of the reasons I wanted you
on this case, among other reasons,

I think you have a capacity

to tap into what is fundamentally
decent about people.

I believe, if you call on this jury
to do what is right, morally right,

if not legally,

they will follow.

So what pointers
do you have specifically?

I have another date.

Same girl?

Different.

The few, the proud, the brave,
lawyer package…

I get dates all right, but I need you
to tell me how to kiss.

Okay, um… first of all,

the stick-it-in-and-swish-it-around thing
it's not supposed to be like cleaning your toilet.

Nice.

There needs to be a
certain gentility about it.

I think you might be too aggressive.

Okay.

Also, what part of your tongue
is making contact with hers?

What do you mean?

I mean…

what part of your tongue
is connecting with hers?

The tip. What else?

What?

Well, this part here.

That is the most sensitive.
You don't taste food with the tip.

And this part is the most sensual.

Well how do people connect
with that part without slobbering?

They just… okay.

Could I please show you clinically?

What do you mean?

I mean, Brad, that I'm a
double black diamond kisser,

and I'm also incredibly busy.
So could I please just quickly show you?

Well, I guess…

Okay.

Okay, relax.

The tongue isn't supposed to get hard.
I think that, that could be your problem.

Okay.

Okay, better.

Definitely better,
but tone down the swishing,

and I feel like you're blocking my tongue
from going into your mouth.

Yeah, I don't like that.

What?

I don't like it when a woman's tongue
goes in my mouth.

Um… Brad. That's the whole idea.

Yours and hers, hers…

I just prefer that everything
takes place in her mouth.

Why?

Because I do.

Brad, this is why you're the worst kisser
in the history of the planet.

So drop the Homeland Security
and let the girl's tongue in.

Relax.

Code Yellow.

Wow.

Wow, definitely.

No questions asked. Wow.

Let's try it again.

You're uh…
you're a really quick study.

Wow.

All right, let's put it together.
You and me, me and you.

I uh… I don't think…

Whoa whoa whoa,
this lesson doesn't include hand.

Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth so help you God?

Yes, yes I do.

Good afternoon, Dr Fields.
Thank you for joining us.

I realize you've been through quite an ordeal.

Yes, and now you seek
to put me through another.

Your honor, Dr Fields is hostile.

Why wouldn't he be, he was shot.

No, I mean as in hostile witness.
Permit me to lead.

Oh, go on then.

Dr Fields, at the time of the incident,

Mr Crane was in the middle of a
therapy session with you, am I correct?

Denny Crane doesn't even believe in therapy.

He comes out of boredom.
He likes to hear himself talk.

Which is the cause
of great frustration for you?

Yes.

Because when he's not
endlessly repeating his name,

he's full of this self-serving blather.

If I have to hear him go on
one more time about mad cow…

This time he was a little less boring.
He pulled the gun.

Well yes, the gun, the gun. If I had
a nickel for everytime he did that…

Wait, he's drawn a gun on you before?

Oh, oh yes.

Anytime he doesn't like what he hears,
yes, it's dirty Harry time.

So you really didn't feel threatened
when he produced the firearm this time?

I felt threatened to the extent that
this time, it might just go off.

The way he waves it around.

Okay, but doctor,

you produced a gun of your own,
didn't you?

Absolutely I did, yes.

Why?

Because I just did, that's why.

Okay? I was sick of his antics
and I told him so.

And, in fact, you called him an empty sack,

you told him he led a meaningless life,
provoked him to pull his gun, didn't you?

That may be so, I don't know…
who cares?

What is this poopycock?
What kind of a doctor are you?

Your honor, if I may proceed…

Oh, go on then!

Dr Fields, once Mr Crane produced
his weapon, you drew yours

and you told him that if he didn't
shoot you, you'd shoot him.

Did you not say that, sir?

Obviously you know that I did.

You in fact, wanted him to shoot you,
so you wouldn't have to shoot yourself,

and your family could collect
your life insurance to pay

for your son's Ivy League education.

Well it certainly sounds
like you were there.

And in fact, you gave him
to the count of three, didn't you?

Shoot you by the count of three
or you'd kill him?

That's right, uh huh.

And you counted it off.
One, two and three.

And three. Don't anybody
leave this room.

What is this jibber jabber?

Shut up!

That wouldn't be jibber jabber,
your honor, that's a gun.

Anybody leaves this room,
and I will shoot Mr Shore.

If I might object to that…

How did you get in with that?

My brother is a lawyer and I came in
the back door with his bar card.

I guess the question, Dr Fields, is why?

Why? Because all my life,

I sat in that chair, that's why.

Listening to other people who had
lives far more grander than mine,

while I just sat tucked away in my office
leading no life at all.

Vicariously coaching other people,
watching them get rich,

like this nutcase here,
and I couldn't stand it anymore.

I did crack, I wasn't gonna just
stand around being some sort of

impotent little spectator to my own life.

And I'm sick of any society

that, that glamorizes the eccentrics
and the psychopaths and the belligerents,

when there's the meek and the wise.

If I could just get you to point that
at any other directio—

Shut up!!!

You think you're the only one that
likes to live big, Denny? You think that?

You think that by paying me 600 dollars
an hour, that entitles you to belittle me?

Six hundred…?

Shut up!

You stand belittled now, Denny.

Why don't I just shoot
your best friend here? Why not?

I mean, he's your real therapist,
he's the one you tell your secrets to.

Why don't I just shoot him?

Dr Fields, please put the gun down.

I didn't shoot before, Denny
but I will this time. I really will.

Sidney, I took you out once,
don't make me do it again.

With what?

With this.

You said you wouldn't so much
as look at a gun again.

I never said I wouldn't shoot one.

I feel I should go with him.

I'm as close as he actually has to family.

Denny, you shot him twice.

Even so.

Should we ask for a continuance?

No, I want to make my argument
to dismiss to the judge

while he's still in the throws of fear.

I'm due in division 3 for closing arguments
in the Prior case.

Hopefully I'll be back within the hour.

I'll take over from here.

Don't you dare.

And don't shoot anybody.

Oh, please.

They arrest Denny again?

Apparently not. It appears
he saved everyone.

What about the underlying charges?

As far as I know, they still stand.

Umm… We need to talk.

We most certainly do.

It was a kissing demonstration.

We had sex.

I'm aware of that.

On the floor.

I'm aware of that too.

Which brings me to, what now?

Company inkwell, Brad?
We work together. That's it.

We had sex.

Yes.

Incredible sex.

Yes.

And that's it?

Yes.

Mr Prior refused to identification.
Defiance of the law.

He then physically resisted arrest
which is a second crime.

And he wasn't targeted simply
because he was black by the way.

He was questioned because he was
a stranger to a particular neighborhood.

Now, did officer Ryleson come
to that conclusion in part

because he was African-American?

Yes. He admitted that.

But where's the line between
racial profiling and common sense?

Race can be used as a criterion
as long as it's just one factor

among others in estimating criminal suspicion.

Common sense, when it comes
to terrorism for example.

Of course we target people
of Islamic or Arabic descent.

We simply have to afford the police
the discretion to say

“Hey, that person might be more likely
to be engaging in certain criminal activity”.

Now here, the defendant was a stranger
to this neighborhood,

he was oddly staring at houses.

Officer Ryleson asked his name.

The defendant refused to tell him,
which in addition to being a crime,

made him more suspicious.
Then he got violent.

We here not because of Mr Prior's race,

but because he broke the law.

I guess we don't have much
of a problem targeting Islamics.

Especially not at the airport.

That doesn't offend us because
we so wanna feel safe.

But the thing is, it's taken
the stigma off of racial profiling.

The term no longer has a bad connotation.

And that just makes it easier
to profile other races, doesn't it?

I mean, once you say it isn't an evil
to discriminate,

you make it slightly more permissible
to discriminate.

Next thing you know,
you've got police questioning

African-Americans simply for looking
at houses in white neighborhoods.

We have a term in this country called DWB.

Driving while black.

Innocent black motorist are pulled over
every day in this country.

It's a way of life.

Well, guess what?

People like Dennis Prior have a choice.

They can either rail against it,

or they can just concede it's a way of life,

and things stay the same.

Dennis Prior decided to protest.

He decided to hear the words of Henry Thurow,
Susan B. Anthony, Martin Luther King Jr.

who all considered civil disobedience
to be patriotic.

American.

You need to go back to that room,
and hear the dream of Dr King,

where children grow up to be judged
not by the color of their skin.

My client was judged
by the color of his skin.

That cannot be acceptable to a country
that prides itself on human rights.

That cannot be acceptable
to the twelve of you.

I don't dispute that Mr Crane's life
was in danger,

but he created the dangerous situation
when he first pulled the gun on Dr Fields.

Oh, please, did I create it in this courtroom?

Well, to an extent, yes.
We wouldn't have all been standing here

had you not pulled that gun
back at the doctor's office.

Your honor, I saved this man's life,
probably yours,

and he's in here waving around
his poopycock

with his mumbo jumbo, jibber jabber.

At a minimum, the charges of carrying
a concealed weapon should be considered.

National security. Dr Fields is a terrorist.

He terrorized this courtroom.
He's a Democrat.

I've had enough of all this…

Mr Crane, you had no excuse
to be carrying a gun.

Second amendment, founding fathers,
you probably knew them.

Jibber jabber!

But here, you did use the gun
to save lives, quite possibly my own.

I'm going to let you off this time
with just a stern warning.

Thank you.

I haven't given it yet.

Mr Crane, I warn you not to do…

this again.

Not guilty. Adjourned.

Well, seems you didn't need me after all.

Anyday, anycrane.

Mr Foreman, has the jury reached
a unanimous verdict?

We have, your honor.

What say you?

In the matter of the Commonwealth
vs Dennis Prior,

on the charge of disorderly conduct,
we find the defendant

not guilty.

On the charge of unlawfully resisting arrest,
we find the defendant

not guilty.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
thank you for your service.

I won?

You won.

No probation or anything?

You won Dennis. You are free to go.

Thank you, and thank you.

I hope you get to live in that
beautiful house one day, Mr Prior.

Pick a better neighborhood.

I will. Thank you.

I will.

Bye.

Bye.

Ah, still at large.

And don't think I take it for granted.

Canada, Japan, England.
Any one of those pinko countries,

I'd be in jail for shooting somebody.

God bless America.

I had sex with her.

With whom?

Kate Smith.

Before she put on the weight.

From the mountains, to her prairies.

She was one hell of a ride.

So Denny, what happened?
Your love affair with guns back on?

Alan, lives were saved
because I was armed.

We all should be armed. Every citizen
should have one strapped to his waist.

Hell, the criminals all have them.

The answer isn't less guns, it's more.

Surprised you didn't think of it sooner.

Mad cow.

So, how was it with Ch— Chelena?

Incredible pheromones.

Had I been a moth, we'd have made it
and died by now.

Oh, and there's of course Melissa.

I don't know what to make of her.

It's good to have choices.

So it's funny to finally
meet your therapist.

A man never introduces
his wife to his mistress.

That's a shame.
Makes for a hell of a party.

So, do you think it's a sign of Alzheimer's

if you can't remember
how many people you've shot?

As long as you can remember who…