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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
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SHE LAUGHS
3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:08,720
No way!
4
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:11,800
Er... Gosh!
5
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,360
Where's the hole?
6
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,840
Honk, honk!
7
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Urgh! Ahh! Uhh!
8
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,200
Are you having a laugh?
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00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,480
Oh!
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THEY GASP
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CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
12
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Hello, and welcome!
13
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:42,400
Welcome to the Taskmaster
Series 13 grand final!
14
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15
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It has been an incredible journey.
16
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,000
We've all seen athleticism,
mental agility,
17
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,360
and chess grand master tactics -
18
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,800
just not on this programme.
19
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,640
But we have seen five fine comedians
trying their very best.
20
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,240
Who will rise to the top?
21
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,280
Who will become
the emperor of nonsense,
22
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:08,960
the crown prince of the pointless,
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the monarch of being
a right silly billy?
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00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,160
Only time will tell.
Let us greet them for the last time.
25
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Ardal O'Hanlon...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,440
..Bridget Christie...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,560
..Chris Ramsey...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,880
..Judi Love...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,560
..and Sophie Duker!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,680
And next to me,
my faithful servant -
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a man who once told me after
a few drinks that he has
32
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a separate bank account that
his wife doesn't know about.
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00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,400
HIGH-PITCHED:
It's little Alex Horne!
34
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,400
THEY GROWL
36
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,440
So up for this!
Oh, man, you seem really pumped.
37
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,280
Ahh!
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00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,600
Ah, you love a final, don't you?
39
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Love a final! Ohh.
40
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,120
I'm wearing my combat
pre-ripped suit.
41
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,760
And I'm ready, so let's... Cool.
42
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,920
Let's just do it, Greg.
43
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,120
You look really cool. Ahh!
Let's just do it!
44
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,320
LAUGHTER
45
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,440
I had a Lucozade, shall we start?
46
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,840
What is the final prize task
category of the series, please?
47
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:17,360
They've been asked to bring in
the finest family heirloom.
48
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,320
Ooh!
AUDIENCE OOHS
49
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,920
Exactly. The finest family heirloom,
in your opinion, will gain five
50
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,120
fine points for its owner.
51
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,680
And, at the end of this episode,
the person with the most points
52
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,240
will take home their family heirloom
53
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,440
and four other people's
family heirlooms,
54
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,520
which feels so wrong,
it must be right.
55
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,040
So, sell me your family heirlooms. Christopher.
56
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:41,760
My finest family heirloom is
an antique Italian coffee table.
57
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,040
It sounds very stylish.
AUDIENCE OOHS
58
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,800
It is. Here it is.
59
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:51,240
It was purchased by my mum's mum
and dad in the '70s, I believe.
60
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,800
Surprisingly tasteful
for a '70s item.
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00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,240
Yeah. You open the top
of that bad boy,
62
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,040
and it plays the theme
from The Godfather.
63
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,840
Ooh.
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00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,200
That is a strong opener.
65
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:08,560
Sophie, can you beat a coffee table
that plays the Godfather theme?
66
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,000
I think I can.
67
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,600
It's not Italian...
but it is a rice cooker.
68
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,240
LAUGHTER
69
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,800
Oh, my God! No.
70
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,680
ARDAL: I hope it plays music
when you open it.
71
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,320
There's an ancient African proverb.
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00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,640
It goes, "There is rice at home."
73
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,200
When you're a little kid
and you go out to the shops,
74
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,240
and you see a chocolate bar,
your mum's like,
75
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,680
"There's rice at home."
76
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,880
You see a margherita pizza,
your mum's like,
77
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,120
"There's rice at home."
78
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,600
- You see a PlayStation - rice.
- Rice. LAUGHTER
79
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,080
Is this the actual rice cooker
from when you were a child?
80
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,520
This is the actual rice cooker
from when I was a child.
81
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,120
That's quite cute.
It's never made imperfect rice,
82
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,480
and it fills up not just my belly
but my soul.
83
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,400
Wow...wow!
84
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,600
Don't try and emotionally
manipulate him.
85
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:57,800
I've gotta be honest, Ardal -
86
00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,280
she's done a pretty good job of
emotionally manipulating me.
87
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,120
Your turn, though. Oh, shit.
Can you do the same?
88
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,360
Erm, I brought a, erm,
a biscuit tin.
89
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:07,960
Whoa. Hm.
90
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,600
I inherited that from my mother,
who got it from her mother.
91
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:15,280
And her mother, er,
as a baby, arrived in Ireland
92
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:20,520
with very few possessions in 1917,
when Europe was in turmoil.
93
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,120
That's good.
94
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,160
And it's what's in the biscuit tin,
I suppose, is what's really relevant
95
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,960
and what's really poignant.
96
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,520
What we were told it was, was
my granny's papers, her birth cert.
97
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,440
You shorten that, do you?
Just interesting that you short...
98
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,120
A birth cert.
You shortened birth certificate.
99
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,960
Birth certificate, like,
I mean, we've got lots of time,
100
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,760
I can use the full word.
101
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:42,800
LAUGHTER
102
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,320
So, the trouble with you is,
there's part of me that thinks
103
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,840
you've just made all of that up.
104
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,640
So, I don't mock your ancestry,
do I?
105
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,920
Do I go on about the Welsh giants
you were descended from?
106
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,480
LAUGHTER
107
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,760
I'll take some time to decide
whether I believe any of that.
108
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,560
Bridget. The most precious thing
that has been handed down...
109
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,840
..is DNA.
110
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:08,000
My proudest achievement,
the thing that is most precious...
111
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,320
Excuse me, can I just -
and I hate to interrupt so early...
112
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,360
Oh, no, that is very rude.
You've just...
113
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,760
He made me say the whole word
for "cert," so I think
114
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,680
the least you could do is...
115
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,920
LAUGHTER
..DNA.
116
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,880
What, deoxyribonucleic acid?
117
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,800
CHEERING
118
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,440
APPLAUSE
Oh-ho-ho!
119
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,120
In your face, Ardal!
120
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,040
My proudest achievement
is my children.
121
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:41,560
I have brought a box with
my children's teeth and hair,
122
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,800
and umbilical cord stumps,
and pregnancy kits in it.
123
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,880
Yes, she has. And there it is.
124
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,640
And when they've gone,
I will have that, and...
125
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,280
CHRIS: Unless you lose tonight.
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00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,560
LAUGHTER
127
00:05:55,600 --> 00:06:01,120
Then it will be given away
to one of four virtual strangers.
128
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,760
Well, I don't think they'll want it.
129
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,920
LAUGHTER
130
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,680
It is very touching. Judi?
131
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,760
JUDI: My family heirloom...
132
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,520
LAUGHTER
133
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,200
..is my blood.
134
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,560
AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
135
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,960
We're really pushing what
kids want to inherit.
136
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,800
Well, the reality is my blood's been
passed down from generation
137
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,120
to generation, to generation.
138
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,360
And it will continue to pass down.
139
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,840
And if they need more,
I can give them more.
140
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,320
LAUGHTER
141
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:39,280
Under what circumstances would your
children need a vial of your blood?
142
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,720
A medical thing, a ritual thing.
143
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,840
And that blood is going
to carry on a legacy.
144
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:52,320
Cos it'll be in my kid's body,
their kid's body...
145
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,040
Yeah, but it's already in them.
What's this necklace?
146
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,120
LAUGHTER
147
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:05,840
This necklace is if
my blood starts to disappear.
148
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,520
They can still have my blood.
149
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,440
Just so you know,
you can store blood for 42 days.
150
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,880
Do you want to... LAUGHTER
151
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,360
Do you want to judge?
152
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,400
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
153
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,840
The least obvious heirloom
is probably
154
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,400
a small bottle of blood.
155
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:34,360
But I've got to recognise what
an amazing bullshitter Judi Love is.
156
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,760
I'm going to give her 2 points.
157
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,040
Ah. OK.
158
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,880
I really want a coffee table
that plays The Godfather.
159
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,920
I was touched by the rice maker.
160
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,520
I've chosen to believe
Ardal's biscuit tin story.
161
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,960
So, I'm going to give
them all 4 points. OK.
162
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,920
But Bridget's - when I saw that
little box, I thought,
163
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,880
"Even in many years,
I'd be touched by that."
164
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,480
And I'm going to give Bridget
a sweet 5.
165
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,720
There we go.
Bridget Christie gets 5 points!
166
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,480
APPLAUSE
167
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:06,600
All right. Right, let's get this
final properly under way!
168
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:07,920
Yes, here we go.
169
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,760
And this is the perfect task
to whet the appetite.
170
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,200
Ooh!
171
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,360
SHE SNIFFS
Hello, Judi.
172
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,520
What is that damn smell?
What do you think it is?
173
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,800
I don't know. Smells like potato.
174
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:39,800
Oh.
175
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,720
Oh, it just comes off.
176
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,080
Ahh.
177
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,320
Whew.
178
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,160
"Identify the liquids."
179
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,560
"Most accurately identified
liquids wins."
180
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,800
"You have ten minutes."
181
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,520
"Your time starts now."
182
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:00,240
This is foul.
183
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,560
CHRIS: Oh, shut up man.
There's summat in there.
184
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,800
Oh, that is grotesque.
185
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,480
Am I supposed to be tasting stuff?
186
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,680
All the instructions
are on the items. OK.
187
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,400
Liquid identification is a...
188
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,000
I would say it's a forte of mine.
189
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,360
It's just the main liquids, though.
190
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,960
What are the five main liquids?
191
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:26,160
The brandy, the water...
and the milk.
192
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,600
Er, they're the only three
I'm familiar with.
193
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,720
GREG: Ardal's right, of course,
there are only three liquids -
194
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,960
the brandy, the water, and the milk.
195
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,760
So, it shouldn't be hard
to track them down.
196
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,040
Let's crack on.
197
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,000
OK, well, let's crack on
with Chris and Bridget.
198
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,960
BRIDGET: "You may only spray
the perfume on your wrist."
199
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:51,760
Pickled onion.
200
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,080
That's the water from
a jar of pickled onions.
201
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,520
Well, that's...it might be vinegar.
202
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,000
"You may only spray the sponge" -
203
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,080
but then, I can do whatever
I want with the sponge.
204
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,960
What do you want to do
with the sponge?
205
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,120
Sniff it, lick it,
tell it I love it.
206
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,640
I think it's like lemon squash,
or something.
207
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,720
It's like a strawberry...
rosy pink lemonade, kind of thing.
208
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,600
"You may only squeeze
the pipette into your mouth."
209
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,080
Is it Pot Noodle water?
210
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:34,520
Is it beef stock?
211
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,880
It's like watery soy sauce.
212
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,800
OK, I'll put that down. OK.
213
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,240
"You may only push the valve
with the chopstick."
214
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,520
That's ridiculous - and it's warm!
215
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:49,800
It's warm. Why is it warm?
216
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,200
Oh, crikey!
217
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,280
Old tea, I think.
218
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,520
Still got four minutes.
219
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:01,960
That's tea. Ah.
220
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,400
"You can do whatever you want
with the balloon."
221
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,640
Just smells like a balloon.
222
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,760
That looks absolutely revolting.
223
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,320
Oh, it's got bits in it!
224
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,040
BALLOON SQUELCHES
225
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,200
AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
226
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,280
Oh, there it is.
What the hell is that?
227
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,320
AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
228
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,320
Mm...what are them bits?
229
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,000
Oh, what's happening?
230
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,360
What is that?
231
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,480
It smells like, like a...
a yeasty thing.
232
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,760
But why is it that texture?
233
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,720
Is "balloon juice" a thing?
234
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,840
WHISTLE BLOWS Bugger.
235
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:49,720
Well, I've written "balloon juice".
236
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,200
HE GROANS
237
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,160
APPLAUSE
238
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,480
"Is balloon juice a thing" is going
in the Taskmaster Book of Quotes.
239
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,000
Congratulations. Thank you.
240
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:04,080
And I really loved,
"It's warm, why is it warm?!"
241
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,640
Erm, just start telling me what
they did successfully.
242
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,480
They both got tea, 'course they did.
243
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,760
Vinegar - Chris actually located it
to a jar of pickled onions,
244
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,160
which is very impressive.
245
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,640
He also got stock -
he said it was beef stock.
246
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,720
It was vegetable stock.
That's fair.
247
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,880
I think we have to acknowledge
the word "stock".
248
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,360
So, I think Bridget got two.
Chris got three.
249
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,760
Right, we're stopping again.
Right now, watch...now!
250
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
251
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,680
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
252
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:40,560
Hello, and welcome back
to our Series 13 final!
253
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,120
CHEERING
254
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,960
Yes, nearly there, and then,
255
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,000
it's the wrap party afterwards,
isn't it?
256
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,920
I've heard there's a wrap party.
257
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,880
But I still haven't had my invite
to the wrap party.
258
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,440
Bef...before the break,
everyone was trying to identify
259
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,160
the liquids we prepared for them.
260
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,680
Now, here's how Sophie, Ardal,
and Judi got on.
261
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,880
Urgh! Uh...
262
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,240
Tastes like chicken soup.
263
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,240
That is stock of some sort.
264
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,280
I would say it's a beef stock?
265
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,400
The more accurate, the better.
Feel free to...
266
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,240
Right, a Charolais cow -
beef stock from a Charolais cow.
267
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,720
That's a fruit juice.
268
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,960
Could be passion fruit?
269
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:35,800
That smells like lychee...
fizzy drink.
270
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,520
It's like...lychee juice.
271
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,240
It smells like...
like onion vinegar.
272
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:49,240
I don't want to spray this
on my wrist.
273
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,680
Vinegar.
274
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,360
Oh. Smell like a packet of
salt-and-vinegar crisps.
275
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,560
That is liquidised crisps.
276
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,760
What flavour? It's prawn cocktail.
277
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,480
But liquidised? Yeah.
278
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,440
Oh.
279
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,400
SNIFFS LOUDLY
280
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,920
Tea. Tea? Yeah.
281
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,000
You have six-and-a-half minutes. OK.
282
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,560
All right, I believe in you.
283
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,400
I'm going to leave it till last.
284
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,280
"You can do whatever you want
with the balloon."
285
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,760
AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
286
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,160
AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST
287
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,000
Ohh!
288
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,200
SLOWED-DOWN: Ooh!
289
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,240
SHE SCREAMS
290
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,080
I hate you so much! Right, yeah.
291
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,320
That smells like vomit.
292
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,440
Oh, don't, don't...don't be crazy.
293
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,800
That is renk!
294
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,000
Mushroom, it's mushroom soup.
295
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,040
That is mushroom soup.
296
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,440
"You may only push the valve
with the chopstick."
297
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,080
OK, should've done that one
before the mushroom soup.
298
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,400
Pop the...
299
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,200
Sophie.
300
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,560
That's just the lid of the valve.
301
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,440
You can take it off.
Thank you for telling me.
302
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,280
That is very strong tea. Right.
303
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,800
That's tea. OK.
304
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,000
So, it's really just the pipette.
305
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,480
It's slightly fizzy.
306
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,480
It tastes like ass.
307
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,120
Is it Dr Pepper?
WHISTLE BLOWS
308
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,240
Shall we leave it at that.
I think so, yeah.
309
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,960
I mean, I'm covered in it.
310
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,280
So sorry.
311
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,840
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
312
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:05,920
So sweet, watching you trying to
get the lid off a bicycle valve
313
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,600
with some chopsticks.
314
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,320
It's like you're playing a whole
different game of Taskmaster.
315
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,240
I spent, like, about
five minutes doing that.
316
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,840
Yeah, you did. But you did well.
317
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,720
Got lychee, got tea, got mushroom
soup, got onion vinegar.
318
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,120
ARDAL: Well, you helped her.
319
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,560
You gave her an extra clue
that you didn't give any of us.
320
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,000
What was the clue? He told you
that you could use your hand to open
321
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,040
the lid on the valve thing
of the tyre.
322
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,480
You would still be there with those
chopsticks trying to get that off
323
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,360
if it wasn't for his intervention.
I'd have figured it out eventually.
324
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,760
I've got to be honest, Ardal -
since you've come out here in
325
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,800
that red leather jacket,
you've developed a real attitude.
326
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,920
And you were reckless
with the balloon pop.
327
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,520
You were more reckless
than I thought -
328
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,480
especially as you thought
it was vomit.
329
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,160
Really and truly,
it could've been classed as vomit,
330
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,520
cos once it burst, it started to
mix with all the other stuff.
331
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,600
And that's really what vomit is.
332
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,640
That's what vomit is. Yeah.
333
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,560
I didn't realise that your nose
was such a powerful weapon
334
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,600
in your arsenal.
335
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,040
Lychee - straight. Yeah.
336
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,320
Genuinely impressive.
337
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:07,440
So, a very cautious woman who's
only choosing to use one sense.
338
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,520
Mm-hm. Did pretty well. Yes.
339
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,880
By stark contrast,
Ardal just seemed hungry.
340
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,960
LAUGHTER
341
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,440
He got the tea, he got stock,
he got mushroom soup -
342
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,320
so 3 for Ardal.
343
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:26,120
Judi got lychee, vinegar, tea -
so that's another 3 points.
344
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,120
Lovely. Sophie got the most,
she got four.
345
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,040
Ardal, Judi, and Chris
all got three, Bridget two.
346
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,800
So, 3 to Bridget, 4 to Ardal,
4 to Judi, 4 to Chris,
347
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,560
- and 5 to Sophie!
- Easy. CHEERING
348
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,680
I would like a nice early
scoreboard, please, Alex.
349
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,680
OK, well, we're all hoping Judi
will win an episode finally,
350
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,840
but she's currently in last place
with 6 points,
351
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,800
and Sophie's in the lead
with 9 points!
352
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,040
APPLAUSE
353
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,480
Give me another one!
354
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,120
Of course! Well, here they come.
355
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,440
Three wheels, two horns, a bell,
and a vast quantity of ducks.
356
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,680
JUDI: Alex?
357
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,360
Where's Alex?
358
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,920
Alex always helps. Alex!
359
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,720
CHRIS: Hm. Arrows.
360
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,360
ARDAL: Ducks.
361
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,960
Can never have enough ducks.
362
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,280
I feel like ducks are
my natural enemy.
363
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,680
Sometimes people mispronounce
my name as Sophie Duck-er
364
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,000
and I hate it.
365
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,840
Oh, no.
366
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:46,120
"Get the most ducks in
Alex's basket."
367
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,360
"You may only hold
one duck at a time."
368
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,080
"If Alex rings his backwards bell,
369
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,960
"you must walk backwards until
he honks his forwards horn."
370
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,640
"Alex will pedal as fast as
he can unless you say
371
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,440
"one of the magic words."
372
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:04,440
"If you say a magic word,
Alex will rest for ten seconds." Oh.
373
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:08,480
"All the magic words are
single-use magic words."
374
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,400
"Alex will cycle round
the circuit for ten minutes."
375
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,160
"Your time starts when Alex
honks his horn."
376
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,360
BRIDGET: You can only hold
one at a time.
377
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,720
No, surely not.
378
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,280
GREG: Good. Can I ask you
before we watch this -
379
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,080
did you regret this task
once you had to cycle lots? Yes.
380
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,440
I've been told that you were in
a great deal of pain. Yes.
381
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,280
And I am very much looking
forward to it. Right.
382
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,560
Who are we going to see first?
383
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,480
It's Ardal and Chris up first.
384
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,120
That's right,
the basic boys ride again!
385
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,600
"Backwards bell, forwards horn."
386
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,280
Magic words.
387
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,000
Just random magic words?
HORN HONKS
388
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,360
Oh, my God!
389
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,760
Ah! Alex, come back.
390
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:54,800
HORN HONKS
391
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,480
Ah.
392
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:09,520
Here I come.
393
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,000
I don't know the magic words.
I don't know what they are.
394
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,160
No. Shazam.
395
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:17,000
Abracadabra.
396
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,320
Monkey!
397
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,200
BELL RINGS
Abracadabra?
398
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,560
No, it's not one of the magic words?
No.
399
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,240
Er, fiddlesticks? No.
400
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,240
Flash.
BELL RINGS
401
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,400
HORN HONKS
402
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,480
Where are these magic words?!
403
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,200
Shoes. No.
404
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,920
Quack. Closer.
405
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,480
Annoying?
406
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,560
BRAKES SQUEAL
Ohh!
407
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,360
APPLAUSE
408
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,640
That was...that was nice.
409
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,560
Duck? Nearly.
410
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,600
BELL RINGS
Ducky?
411
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,000
BRAKES SQUEAL
412
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,400
Duckling? No.
413
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,080
Goose? Headboy?
414
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:18,440
Headboy?
415
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:20,760
Architecture.
416
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,600
CHRIS LAUGHS
I hate you! I absolutely hate you!
417
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,320
BELL RINGS
Oh, God.
418
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,280
You still looking for
the magic word? Yeah.
419
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,520
OK.
420
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,640
This is absolutely horrible.
421
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,080
Ah...ten seconds.
422
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,920
HORN HONKS, BELL RINGS
423
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,160
PANTING: You're a psychopath...
you're a psychopath.
424
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,200
APPLAUSE
425
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,680
Feel really disappointed about
not getting the magic words.
426
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,520
You still looking for
the magic words? Yeah.
427
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:58,800
OK.
428
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,720
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
429
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,800
A fairly impressive start,
I would say.
430
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,800
Which magic words were identified?
431
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,280
Ardal incorrectly
shouted "architect".
432
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,240
Well, he shouted 45 things.
433
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,400
Have you got a list?
Of course I've got a list.
434
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,400
He started well with shazam,
abracadabra, and monkey.
435
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:16,880
The three big magic words. Yeah.
436
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,400
Very quickly with things like
blazers, trouble, shoes, sausages.
437
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,720
So, he didn't get any of the
magic words, but he said...
438
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,000
Well, I was very close.
You were very close, you were.
439
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,080
I mean, I wanted you to get one
so I could have a rest,
440
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,280
but you didn't get any.
441
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,360
But Chris did. Chris got
"annoying" and "ducky".
442
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,040
All right, I won't tell you any
numbers yet, Greg. All right, then.
443
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,720
We've seen them
beetle about after me -
444
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,080
but now, it's Sophie and me,
and Bridget, and a trike,
445
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,400
and some ducks!
446
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,320
HORN HONKS
447
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,320
Oh, he's honked his horn. Right.
448
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,320
Oh, one at a time -
that can't be right, can it?
449
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:58,400
I should probably be doing it
in a different way, I think.
450
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,240
BELL RINGS
451
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,400
Ah. Now...mm...
452
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,120
Hello.
453
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,360
You all right?
454
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,880
Ahh! Quite a lot of ducks
left over there.
455
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,640
Oh, is "ducky" a magic word?
456
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,520
BRAKES SQUEAL
457
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,280
How long do you have to
stay there for? Seven more seconds.
458
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,960
Not sure you're making
the most of it.
459
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,160
Is there anything I can use
to keep you in...
460
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,680
Oh, can I take it off?
461
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:30,920
I've got to go now.
462
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,440
APPLAUSE
463
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,720
BELL RINGS
464
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,680
Sophie. Yeah?
I don't want to run you over.
465
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,400
I have to follow those arrows.
PANTING: OK...uh-huh.
466
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,320
BELL RINGS
You have to walk backwards now.
467
00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:58,320
Yeah, but I'm here doing this,
I'm busy.
468
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,800
Yeah - oh.
469
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,120
It's frustrating cos the arrows
are pointing at each other now.
470
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,000
HORN HONKS
471
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,360
APPLAUSE
472
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,840
I don't like this.
473
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,920
Doing really well. Thank you.
474
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,400
HORN HONKS
475
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,120
HORN HONKS
476
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:26,720
SHE GIGGLES
477
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,720
Frustrating. Thanks, Bridget.
478
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,160
Bye-bye, thank you so much.
No, thank you.
479
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,600
BOTH PANTING
480
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,880
You wrote the task.
481
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,920
You didn't have to make
yourself do that.
482
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,480
I do everything for him.
483
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,440
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
484
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,760
That is probably a
sad indictment on my life,
485
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,720
that I found "I do everything
for him" genuinely touching.
486
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,800
AUDIENCE AWWS
487
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,360
JUDI: Ah, that's so sweet!
488
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,480
Erm, there was genius moves
going on there.
489
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:05,120
I thought the reversing of
the arrows so that this fool
490
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,560
had to spin before you
was delightful.
491
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,960
And Bridget, the ripping off
of the basket...
492
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,560
I didn't know it would come off.
493
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,080
I almost stood up and cheered.
494
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:15,720
LAUGHTER
495
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,200
Cos I knew this tosspot had
to carry on cycling round,
496
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,360
while you stacked the b...
497
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,240
My grandmother used to call me
a tosspot, genuinely.
498
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,520
Yeah? And then, I thought about
what that might mean.
499
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,600
What is a tosspot? A thing you
toss odds and sods into...
500
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,800
Oh, OK, I was thinking
too much about it, right.
501
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,480
Right, let's leave things there
a moment and have a rest.
502
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
503
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,560
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello!
504
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,920
Thank you, welcome back.
505
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:52,280
And listen up - the competition
will soon be over, but I refuse
506
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,600
to let things continue until
I've seen Judi Love try to fill
507
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,520
a basket on a trike with ducks.
508
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,840
You're in luck, Greg, but I do first
want to remind you that they can
509
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,120
only hold one duck at a time.
510
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,800
AUDIENCE OOHS
511
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,760
Here we go, it's Judi Love!
512
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,200
HORN HONKS
513
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,760
Hello, Judi. Can you stop, please?
514
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,800
Not unless you say a magic word.
515
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:15,840
Thank you?
516
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,840
BRAKES SQUEAL
Oh!
517
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,200
Hello, Judi. Hello.
518
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,560
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh.
519
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,400
Are you all right? Yeah,
I'm all right, I'd like to cycle.
520
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,600
Judi...
521
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,200
The chain's come off.
522
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,680
Broken the bike.
523
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,280
I need to mend the bike.
524
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,360
HE STRUGGLES
525
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,600
AUDIENCE OOHS
526
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,960
What's happened, Alex?
Let me have a look.
527
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,160
I don't want you to have a look,
you broke it.
528
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,640
But the time's going! I know.
529
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,120
Here we go, all right.
530
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,560
OK, come back round, Alex.
I don't like running.
531
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,320
Alex, you all right?
532
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,320
BELL RINGS
533
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,960
HORN HONKS
Alex!
534
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,240
Stop, stop. Stop.
535
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,360
Hold on a minute, Alex.
536
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,480
Judi... Judi...
537
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,960
Come on, quickly,
we've got 35 seconds.
538
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,520
Alex, get down.
539
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,720
Ooh!
540
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,520
WHISTLE BLOWS
541
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,240
Well, thank you, Judi.
542
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,960
Is your bike all right now?
Yeah, it's good, it's fine.
543
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,120
And this chain's perfect. OK.
544
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,360
Yeah. Thanks, Judi.
HORN HONKS
545
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,440
Thank you. Bye-bye. Bye.
546
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
547
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,640
Well, it wasn't a huge surprise
to me that you, er,
548
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,040
physically intimidated him.
549
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,320
Felt quite sorry for you.
550
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:10,160
Thank you, thank you.
I was quite desperate.
551
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,400
I didn't notice you handling more
than one duck at a time
552
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,560
till afterwards, cos I was
so upset about the bike.
553
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,520
I never had more than
one duck at a time.
554
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,600
No, what you need to understand -
555
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,480
the ducks felt some motherly
instincts from me.
556
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,320
LAUGHTER
557
00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:26,440
They wanted to be nursed
in these breasts.
558
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:31,000
How am I supposed to say "no"
to the little ducklings, huh?
559
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,600
How am I supposed to do that?
560
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,000
♪ La-la-la-la-la...
561
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,840
She broke the rules, yeah?
Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah.
562
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:39,880
♪ La-la-la... ♪
563
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,520
She broke the rules and the bike -
so unfortunately, Judi...
564
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,120
Judi did get 90 ducks in my basket.
565
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,240
I saved 90 ducks' life!
566
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,120
They weren't in danger!
567
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:55,880
They were - listen, they were in...
They're plastic, Judi!
568
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,480
Yes, so the numbers were that
Bridget got all 148 of the ducks
569
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:00,960
into the basket. Yeah.
570
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,720
Chris actually got more than Sophie,
despite Sophie's system, four more.
571
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,440
Chris 65, Sophie 61, Ardal 48.
572
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,760
So, those are sort of the numbers.
Yeah. Yeah.
573
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,960
Although, before you score it,
574
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,840
I do have to show you
one more video.
575
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,600
Remember how well
Bridget Christie did?
576
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,720
She did also do this.
577
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,720
"You can only hold one at a time."
578
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,960
No, surely not.
579
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:29,920
"You may only hold
one duck at a time."
580
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,320
"One duck, one duck at a..."
581
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,800
"Only hold one duck at a time."
582
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,160
That can't be right.
583
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,960
"One at a time" -
that can't be right.
584
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,880
One in each hand? No, one at a time.
585
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,360
Is it really only one at a time?
That can't be right.
586
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,400
Can't be right, no, surely not.
587
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:46,920
Right, I've done one at a time.
588
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,240
ECHOING: One at a time...
589
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,080
..one at a time. One duck.
590
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,360
There you go. I'm so sorry.
591
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,200
APPLAUSE
592
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,040
I don't take any pleasure
in that at all.
593
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:00,640
It's totally fair.
594
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,280
AUDIENCE AWWS
595
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,160
Well, that's no fun. LAUGHTER
596
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,640
What a heartbreaking end.
597
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,200
Let's award the points.
598
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,200
Yes, well, it's Ardal, 3 points,
Sophie, 4 points,
599
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,720
but Chris gets the full 5 points!
There it is.
600
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
601
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:19,600
Is it time for the final task?
602
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,280
It is - and also, it's time for
the final team task of the series.
603
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,440
So, for the last time, let's see
the Fab Five face the music.
604
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:27,560
GREG WHISTLES
605
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,320
Hello, Ardal. Hi.
606
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:41,720
Oh, thank you.
607
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,640
Hello, Chris. Hello!
608
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,200
You started, have you, Bridget?
609
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,840
LAUGHTER
610
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,880
BRIDGET: Sorry, has our time
started yet?
611
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,320
Maybe it has. It maybe has.
612
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,440
OK.
613
00:30:58,480 --> 00:30:59,920
Do you have a hairy chest?
614
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:00,960
Yeah...well, yes.
615
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000
I think you look quite dapper.
616
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,760
Yeah. Oh, OK.
617
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,640
Oh, so that's now.
618
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,400
Yes, I wish I did.
Can you open the task, please?
619
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,640
"Record the best multi-track
song about your team."
620
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,000
Oh, godammit.
621
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,800
"You must record all six tracks
with your voice or body."
622
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,960
"And each person must record
the same number of tracks."
623
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,360
"Most powerful multi-track
song wins."
624
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:31,920
"You have 20 minutes."
625
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,560
Worth reading the last line,
I think, in full.
626
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,560
Erm, do you think?
Should we read the last line?
627
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,360
"Your time starts now."
628
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,640
Great. So, one of us could beatbox.
629
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,040
I mean, I could whistle.
630
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,400
Can anyone sing? No.
631
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:53,800
Well, I have been told a few times
that, you know, my voice...
632
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,280
OK, you're going to sing. OK!
633
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,960
Track one, beat. Yeah.
Track two, cymbal. OK.
634
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,280
Track three, some kind of
rattling noise. Yes, yes.
635
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,240
Track four, vocals. Vocals, yes.
636
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,840
Track five, vocals. OK.
637
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,400
Track six, er, a humming,
or some shit.
638
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,360
Yes, yes, I like that. OK.
639
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:10,880
THEY HUM
640
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,280
SOPHIE VOCALISES
641
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,120
BRIDGET WHISTLES
642
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,480
That's one song right there.
643
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,800
That'll do, that will...
We'll do that, then.
644
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:23,920
ARDAL: I mean, obviously,
we're hugely inspired by Taskmaster.
645
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,920
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Always keep that in mind, OK?
646
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,960
I do like the sycophantic
angle, I really do.
647
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,400
Yeah, but we can't make it
too unsubtle, you know what I mean?
648
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:32,960
Right, OK.
You've got to let him know.
649
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,200
Well, we could say we do it
sort of for you.
650
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,320
Do it with you in mind.
With you mind.
651
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,160
Let's just freestyle. We're like
the freestyle house queens.
652
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,040
That's quite good. House Queens.
House Queens. That's good.
653
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,840
ARDAL: Something about
how unbreakable we are as a team.
654
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,160
What's an unbreakable thing,
like what...?
655
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,760
Diamond. Diamond, yeah.
656
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,320
We're actually called
The Water Diamonds.
657
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,360
Er, so "by The Water Diamonds".
658
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,400
The Water Diamonds are a
band from Fleetwood.
659
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,440
You're joking. No.
They're already a band.
660
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,840
The Tungsten Diamonds?
Just checking it now.
661
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,920
Why have we wasted at least five
minutes coming up with a band name,
662
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,080
when that is not really
the most important thing of
663
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,600
this whole godforsaken task?
664
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,760
APPLAUSE
665
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,560
Well, straight away,
I think The House Queens seem to be
666
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,280
driven by a baseless confidence.
667
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,320
They were full of confidence.
668
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,880
Bridget went her own way - sure,
whistling like my grandfather.
669
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,680
Er, perhaps less confident
in the boys.
670
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,520
You sort of had the energy of,
sort of, two low-level bank clerks
671
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,920
at a training day.
672
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,040
And they've come up with an
uplifting anthem to show you
673
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,280
their love for you -
but not too obviously.
674
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,000
Oh, good. I wouldn't want you
to show it too obviously.
675
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,240
Here we go.
676
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,840
It's a really old boyband called
The Tungsten Diamonds.
677
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:55,120
CHRIS BEATBOXES
678
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,840
♪ Chris, Chris, Chris,
oh, Chris, Chris
679
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,280
♪ Ardal and Chris, Chris and Ardal
680
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:02,960
♪ Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris
681
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,880
ARDAL SCATS
682
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,760
ARDAL VOCALISES
683
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,280
♪ Blood is thicker than water
# Taskmaster
684
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:14,080
♪ That's what they say,
that's what they say
685
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:19,560
♪ But our team juice is even
thicker than blood
686
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,640
♪ Er, yeah
687
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,400
♪ We care, we really, really care
688
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,880
♪ In a high five stand-off,
we'll take your fucking hand off
689
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,120
♪ Score a hat trick with
a yoga ball, stag do banter
690
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,920
♪ We know it all,
cooler than ice sliding down a pole
691
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,160
♪ And if you want to aubergine
shifted, give us a call
692
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:41,440
♪ You put an aubergine in my mouth
# Ardal and Chris, Chris and Ardal
693
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,240
♪ You put an aubergine in my mouth
694
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:49,200
♪ But you care,
and we want to please Mr T
695
00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:51,800
♪ We love you, Mr T
696
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:57,360
♪ Everything we do,
we do it with you in mind, Mr T
697
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:01,080
♪ You inspire me...and Chris.
698
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:02,600
♪ Chris, Chris, Chris
699
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,080
♪ You put an aubergine in my mouth
700
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:08,240
CHRIS VOCALISES
701
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,400
♪ Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris.
702
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,800
♪ I love you, Chris
703
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,120
"CHRIS" ECHOES
704
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,680
♪ Ardal and Chris... ♪
705
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:22,600
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
706
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,920
I literally don't know
what's going on.
707
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,040
I-I don't know what I've just heard.
708
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:37,320
Annoyingly, the couple of tasks that
I rapped about haven't been shown
709
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,040
in the series, so that's...
including the aubergine one. Yeah.
710
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,360
So, that's just gobblegook.
711
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,160
Well, that's good to know, cos I
literally thought you'd gone mad.
712
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,040
I don't know what he's talking,
about this aubergine t...
713
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:48,960
The women didn't have to do
an aubergine task.
714
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,560
I think he's making that up. OK.
715
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,160
I put an aubergine in his mouth!
716
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,080
I don't think we'd make you
do that. Yeah! I can't...
717
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:56,880
You've got to believe us!
718
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,520
It doesn't sound like this show.
719
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,440
LAUGHTER
720
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:04,160
Right, we've just got one
itty bitty part left to go.
721
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,160
I'm going to miss these guys.
I don't always say that.
722
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,360
But that doesn't make it any
less scripted.
723
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,760
LAUGHTER
724
00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:19,400
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
725
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,600
Welcome back my dear, dear friends.
726
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,520
It's the final part
of our grand final.
727
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,400
Isn't that exciting, Alex?
728
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:28,920
LAUGHTER
729
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,200
I'm s... I'm so sorry Greg.
730
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:36,160
QUIETLY: It's OK. We all need
to unwind sometimes.
731
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,400
Well, I know, but I should've
been concentrating.
732
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,720
Hey, I've got you a ticket
for the party later.
733
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,040
JUDI GASPS
734
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,360
AUDIENCE AWWS
735
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,040
Thank you so much.
736
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,040
It's all good, where were we?
737
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:51,400
Well, the teams are trying to make
the most powerful multitrack song.
738
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,360
We've seen the boys
make beautiful music -
739
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,960
now finally, here's Bridget, Judi,
and Sophie's composition.
740
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,960
♪ Welcome to House Queens
741
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,240
JUDI BEATBOXES
742
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,840
BRIDGET WHISTLES
743
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,920
SOPHIE VOCALISES
744
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,720
♪ Goodnight, your majesties.
745
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,080
SOPHIES VOCALISES
746
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,520
BRIDGET WHISTLES
747
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,200
♪ Come on now,
come give me a twirl
748
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:20,280
♪ We're going to let all
our rhymes unfurl
749
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,560
♪ To the boys and girls
all around the world
750
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:26,240
♪ Cos you got to listen
to the House Queens
751
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,520
♪ One team, one dream
752
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,120
♪ We all scream for the House Queens
753
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,520
♪ One team, one dream
754
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,120
♪ We all scream for the House Queens
755
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,480
♪ One team, one dream
756
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,160
♪ We all scream for the House Queens
757
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,320
♪ One team, one dream
758
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,560
♪ We all scream
759
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,000
♪ For the House Queens
760
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:50,600
SOPHIE VOCALISES
761
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,000
♪ Taskmaster thinks faster
762
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,360
♪ We're going to cook you
some pasta.
763
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,040
♪ We're going to take you into
the other room and beat you
764
00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,840
♪ Until you need a "plasta"
765
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:01,920
♪ Oh, Greg, what you doing?
766
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,040
♪ Why you sitting there
on that throne?
767
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,960
♪ Cos when the House Queens come
into the Taskmaster house
768
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,360
♪ You're going to be left all alone
769
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,320
♪ One team, one dream
770
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:14,240
♪ We all scream for the House Queens
771
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,320
♪ One team, one dream,
772
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:21,360
♪ We all scream for the House Queens
773
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,120
♪ Enter the House Queens... ♪
774
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:29,240
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
775
00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:38,360
Oh, my God. I mean, mm-hmm...
776
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,680
I feel foolish for doubting that
that whistle would fit in.
777
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,480
Like a glove! Absolutely slid in.
778
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,080
In the song, I appear to be being
fed pasta before you beat me
779
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,280
and "give me a plaster".
780
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:56,120
Yeah. That's how you show love.
With carbs, pasta.
781
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,640
Was there any, any aubergine
in this pasta?
782
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,800
No, but there's rice at home, Chris.
783
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,760
JUDI: I never doubted
the House Queens.
784
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,880
ARDAL: The House Queens and Bez.
785
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,560
LAUGHTER
786
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,640
BRIDGET: You know, it's...
787
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,040
I've got to defend Bridget,
788
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,560
because Bez never whistled on
any of those tracks.
789
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,520
Thank you! She also provided all
the percussion, the stomping.
790
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,520
Yeah, the stamping,
which was crucial.
791
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,040
That was quite hard to do, actually.
792
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,600
Yeah, the dance style.
Oh, yeah. It was unique.
793
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,080
Well, I...
794
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,080
It was more flamboyant
than that, Greg.
795
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,880
Do you want to see
the dancing again?
796
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,320
I'd love to see the dancing again.
Oh, don't.
797
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,320
LAUGHTER
798
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,640
It actually brought me to mind
of something that happened
799
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:42,840
earlier on in the series.
800
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,480
Do you remember a bit when Bridget
was walking, and it was funny?
801
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:48,760
I remember several bits when
I've enjoyed Bridget's walk.
802
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,920
Well, it turns out she dances
exactly the same way as she walks.
803
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,640
LAUGHTER
804
00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:14,400
JUDI: Can we not just talk
about my singing?
805
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,120
The singing was nice.
806
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,160
I mean, they are both
cracking tracks,
807
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,680
let me acknowledge that first.
808
00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:24,480
I don't think there would be
many people who'd question
809
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,880
the superiority of "One Team,
One Dream" for The House Queens.
810
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,240
Going to give the girls
5 points each. Mm-hm.
811
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,400
But I'm going to give the boys
a sweet 3 points each.
812
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,600
So, 3 to the boys, 5 to the girls!
There it is!
813
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,320
CHEERING
814
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:39,920
All right, here we go.
815
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:43,200
Please make your way to the stage
for the final task of the series!
816
00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:49,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
817
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:54,840
Hello. Rahh! Still really pumped.
818
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,760
Ohh. Rahh!
819
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,560
Erm, who's going to read out
the final task, you silly boy?
820
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,880
I would like Judi Love to read
the last one out.
821
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,720
Ahem.
822
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,240
"Draw a life-size self portrait.
823
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,880
"Your nose must be poking through
your nose hole at all times.
824
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,840
"Most accurate self portrait wins.
825
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,600
"You have 200 seconds."
826
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,880
So, you're going to be stepping
behind your canvases,
827
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,760
poking your nose through
the triangle.
828
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,800
So, you won't be able
to see what you're doing,
829
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:25,280
or what you're doing it with.
830
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,480
Place them behind the canvases!
831
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,000
All right. There you go.
832
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:32,760
We do need noses protruding
at all times, Greg.
833
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,040
200 seconds, good luck.
834
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,240
WHISTLE BLOWS
835
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,440
And they're off, Greg.
836
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:39,720
Ah, yes.
837
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,920
I mean, I've got an
instant favourite, Greg.
838
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,600
LAUGHTER
839
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:50,240
Features, features, accuracy.
840
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,680
There are some good ones.
841
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,440
There are SOME good ones.
842
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,640
Ah.
LAUGHTER
843
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,480
Remember the features
that you have.
844
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:07,760
And remember the features
that ALL humans have.
845
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,040
All human beings have.
846
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,160
Erm, I would say - unless you
have a rectangular head,
847
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:14,680
worth doing an outline.
848
00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:16,440
LAUGHTER
849
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,840
Think about the things you need
to be able to see and hear.
850
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,840
OK, you have just five seconds left.
851
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:27,360
If you look like a giant frog,
that's great.
852
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,800
LAUGHTER
853
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,240
WHISTLE BLOWS
OK, please, stop drawing.
854
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,680
OK, at this point, I'll ask you
to step back on your circles.
855
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,400
Please don't look at your canvases.
856
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,280
Greg, you'll judge,
but first of all,
857
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,160
I'll ask Ardal to step forward.
858
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,320
LAUGHTER
859
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,720
Is it like looking in
the mirror, Ardal?
860
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:46,600
Similar, yeah.
861
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,000
Just lovely. Bridget, would you like
to step forward and have a look
862
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,600
at your picture?
863
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,840
It's not bad. It isn't bad.
864
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:57,680
I think I'd get a better idea
if Bridget was dancing.
865
00:42:57,720 --> 00:42:59,960
LAUGHTER
866
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,480
APPLAUSE
Pretty good.
867
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,800
All right, Chris, would you
like to step forward and
868
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,200
have a look at yours?
It's not bad at all.
869
00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:10,320
It's better than I draw when
I'm looking at the canvas.
870
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,600
Are you ready to see yourself, Judi?
871
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,040
Yes.
872
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,040
LAUGHTER
873
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,040
It's absolutely incredible,
isn't it?
874
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:22,320
Look at the eyes and the eyelashes,
and look at the eye shadow.
875
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,040
If only you could've remembered
the eyes themselves.
876
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,000
LAUGHTER
877
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,400
One left to see - Sophie,
do you want to step forward
878
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,000
and have a look at yours?
Got ears, I've got the hair.
879
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,120
Got the floating eye. The flowers.
No, these are the two eyes.
880
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,040
Yeah, I know that - just one eye
isn't on your fucking head.
881
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,960
LAUGHTER
882
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:47,800
Greg, you've got to judge these.
883
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:49,400
Do you want me to go from the top?
884
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,480
Let's go from the bottom.
885
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,960
Why are you looking at Ardal?
886
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:59,320
If the eyes weren't directly
on top of the head,
887
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,760
and you got any features right,
888
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,640
I wouldn't be giving you 1 point.
889
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,800
Judi, yours is quite rubbish.
2 points.
890
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:14,560
I like Sophie's because I think it
captures something of the woman -
891
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,680
but I don't like it as much
as the other two.
892
00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:18,560
OK, so 3 points to Sophie Duker?
893
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:21,080
No, I'm going to give
4 points to Sophie Duker,
894
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,080
and I'm going to give 5 points
to the other two, cos I think
895
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,880
they really do capture each other.
896
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,600
But there's something of the energy
of that that I like.
897
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,120
There we go. So, Bridget and
Chris get the 5 points!
898
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,760
Please come down, let's see how
that's affected the final scores!
899
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:35,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
900
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,160
Come my friends.
901
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,760
Oh, yeah. What a competition.
902
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,880
Rahh! Rawr!
903
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,000
Yes, so you gave out
the scores, Greg. Yes.
904
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:53,000
And Judi, as we know,
has not won an episode.
905
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,000
And you're building up
to say that she's...
906
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,520
Well, last again, yes, so Judi... LAUGHTER
907
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,320
..at one end of the leaderboard,
it's Judi with 13.
908
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,960
At the other, 22 points
go to Sophie Duker!
909
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,840
CHEERING
Whoa! Sophie wins the episode!
910
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:11,400
You're the conflicted winner of
other people's precious heirlooms.
911
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,640
Please go and collect your things!
912
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:16,400
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
913
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:21,400
LAUGHTER
914
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:29,520
You join us for the presentation
of our hallowed trophy.
915
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,640
In just a few moments,
a life will change forever.
916
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:33,960
So, here we go.
917
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,280
The suspense is immeasurable.
918
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:42,520
Please, little Alex Horne...
what are the final scores?
919
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,040
Well, in fifth place -
920
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:50,200
but I do need to make it clear
she is the highest-scoring...
921
00:45:50,240 --> 00:45:54,320
..loser we've ever had,
with 142 points,
922
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,840
it's Judi Love!
923
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,840
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
924
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:03,320
On 153 points and wearing
a wonderful leather jacket,
925
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:04,720
it's Ardal O'Hanlon!
926
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
927
00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:11,200
In third place with 157 points,
it's the wonderful
928
00:46:11,240 --> 00:46:12,880
Bridget Christie! Bridget.
929
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,200
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
930
00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:18,320
And then, they've been trading
places throughout the series.
931
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:23,320
But with 170 points in second place,
932
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,120
we have Chris Ramsey.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
933
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:30,080
Wow. He was right up
there throughout.
934
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:33,840
And just three points behind,
this series' winner,
935
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,480
who had 173 points.
936
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:40,080
Our brand-new Taskmaster champion...
937
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:41,560
..is Sophie Duker!
938
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,080
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
939
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,280
Please take it.
940
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:51,760
Whoo!
941
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,560
CHEERING CONTINUES
942
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,560
We'll see you next time!
943
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:24,000
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