All language subtitles for What.we.do.in.the.shadows.S05E06.AMZN-FLUX.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,271 Extraordinary. 2 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:13,404 You will want to get this on camera. Ha! 3 00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,319 Quickly. Gizmo! 4 00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,974 Gizmo? Gizmo, get up. 5 00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,281 - Yeah? Yeah? - Where's Nandor? 6 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,326 Um, I think he's, uh, indisposed 7 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,459 at the moment, um, in his bedroom. 8 00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:27,940 Ha, shaking hands with Rosie Palmer and her five milkmaids. 9 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,725 - What? - What? Follow me. 10 00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,727 Laszlo's still the only one who knows 11 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:34,382 I'm half-vampire and he's been doing experiments to help. 12 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,819 Happy to report that there's been some progress. 13 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:39,604 My telekinesis has gotten better. 14 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,437 Pretty cool, huh? 15 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:49,745 I have discovered something wonderful with the frogs 16 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,268 - that I injected with your blood. - Wait, 17 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,053 you... you did what with my blood? 18 00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,492 Why are they so hairy? 19 00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,189 Well, why are you so hairy? Who cares? 20 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,278 - Now, bon voyage. - What? No! 21 00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:02,323 Those poor frogs! 22 00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,070 Shit. 23 00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,770 - Come on, little guy, come on, you can do it. - Shh! 24 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,164 - Your turn. - To do what? 25 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,339 I want you 26 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,905 to leap off that balcony. 27 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,211 What? 28 00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:22,865 No, I'll break my legs. 29 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:24,867 - Bullshit. You saw those frogs. - Yeah. 30 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,130 They were transformed by your blood, they flew. 31 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:29,001 Ipso facto, shithead... 32 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,787 ...so can you. 33 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,441 But what if I can't? 34 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,095 Yeah, but what if you can? 35 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,748 What if you can? 36 00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,795 - That would be pretty cool. - It would be 37 00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:42,058 very cool. Now, I calculate 38 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,016 we have exactly two minutes before 39 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:46,193 Nandor finishes making pearl jam. 40 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,760 - Right. - So I'll see you at the bottom. 41 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,458 As the actress said to the bishop. 42 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,199 Come on, Guillermo. 43 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:55,027 I believe in you and I love you, Guillermo. 44 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,377 Come on, Gizmo, let her rip. 45 00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,509 Launch yourself forward, see what happens. 46 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,772 - We should practice closer to the floor first. - No. 47 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,078 No, no, no. You will never fly 48 00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:04,036 unless you need to. Panic is 49 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,516 the secret ingredient. Now, come on. 50 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,088 Aah... 51 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,745 I'm doing it! 52 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,138 - Guillermo? - Yes, Master... 53 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,707 That's how we all learned. 54 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,190 Don't sing if you want to live long 55 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,888 They have no use for your song 56 00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:32,326 You're dead, you're dead, you're dead 57 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:35,067 You're dead and out of this world 58 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:40,072 Now your hope and compassion is gone 59 00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:42,814 You sold out your dream to the world 60 00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:45,165 Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead 61 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,036 You're dead and out of this world.? 62 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,701 Oh, shit. 63 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,181 What is this screaming? Is someone squeezing a snake? 64 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,965 Oh. 65 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,315 - Fucking hell. - What happened? 66 00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,230 Well, I don't know. I was in the library. Don't look at me. 67 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,840 Does it hurt? 68 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,929 Because it looks like it really hurts. 69 00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,801 - Hey, boners. - What? 70 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,194 Nice shiner, Colin Robinson. 71 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,284 Hey, look at this dude. 72 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,937 Someone's had an interesting evening. 73 00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,417 - Please help me. - Wow. 74 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,114 What happened to dingus' foot? 75 00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,377 Who gives a fuck? 76 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:24,987 Tell us what happened to your blackened eye. 77 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,380 Yes, was it fisticuffs? 78 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,164 Did you get kicked by a donkey? 79 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,992 Stop guessing and stop grabbing me. 80 00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,820 This is the problem. 81 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,735 Take it easy, summer breezy. 82 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,867 Every time I go to drain someone, 83 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,218 they see my black eye and want to know what happened. 84 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,003 All of a sudden, I'm too... G-damn interesting 85 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,134 to drain anyone. 86 00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,006 - What the fuck? - Really? 87 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,703 You think you are too interesting? 88 00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,749 I know I am. I mean, 89 00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,316 this exact same thing happened when I came back from Vietnam. 90 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,361 Whoa. 91 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:54,190 - You were in 'Nam? - Well, thank you for your service. 92 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,801 Colin Robinson, I had no idea you were in the Army. 93 00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,412 Oh, I... I wasn't in the Army. 94 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,022 About six years ago, 95 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,806 I took a cycling trip with Backroads. 96 00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:03,852 On the third day, we found 97 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,680 a dead body. In a tree. 98 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,724 No kidding? 99 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:09,031 With an ox's asshole 100 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:11,686 around its neck like a necklace. 101 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,427 - What? - How did that happen? 102 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:16,125 Some poor farmer and his ox must've stepped 103 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,040 on a decommissioned land mine and... 104 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,390 blew him up into the tree and the ox's 105 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,174 asshole must've landed on his head. 106 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,785 - Good grief. - Fascinating. 107 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,700 I wasn't expecting that ending. 108 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,006 See? It's the black eye... makes 109 00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,486 - my stories too interesting. - Do you think 110 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,923 that your black eye also has a very interesting story? 111 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:35,275 Unfortunately, yes, it's fucking remarkable. 112 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,363 But this is Colin Robinson. 113 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,842 I mean, he can't have any more 114 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,757 fascinating stories in him. 115 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:42,891 Gee, you tell me. A five-pound frozen block 116 00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,850 of shit and piss fall off a plane, landing 117 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:48,418 - on a 308 Ferrari - No way. 118 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,986 and blowing the sideview mirror right into my kisser. 119 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,770 Well, fuck my old boots. 120 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,511 Son of a bitch! 121 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,340 - Frozen blocks of pisses and shits? - Yes. 122 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,820 What will they think of next? 123 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:01,039 Guillermo, oi... 124 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,172 No, fuck this, I want to stay here 125 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,087 and listen to his wonderful stories. 126 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,785 - Yes, me too. - Guillermo is your familiar. 127 00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,744 I just went to get him new trousers a year ago. 128 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,136 It is your turn. 129 00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:13,095 Fine. Fuck it. Whatever. 130 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,271 Okay, Guillermo, stop lying around. 131 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,404 Let's get that... of yours looked at. 132 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,884 Come on, boys, to the lab. 133 00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:22,234 - Tell me more about this ox's anus. - It really hurts. 134 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,019 Okay already, I said we're going. 135 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,064 Oh! Laszlo, my love, 136 00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:27,762 did you just see a hairy frog? 137 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,285 The only hairy frog I'm interested in, 138 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,679 my darling, is the one between your legs. 139 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:32,854 It's not just a frog. 140 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,899 - It's the whole swamp. - True. 141 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,684 Come on. 142 00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:38,207 Off you go, my love. 143 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,779 Where are you? Come on, boy. 144 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,824 Come on, boy. Where the fuck are you, 145 00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,391 you fucking frog? 146 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,785 Are either of you allergic to penicillin? 147 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,352 - No. - What is that? 148 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,310 Just ragweed 149 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,225 - and chewing gum. - Chewing gum? 150 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,749 - How unusual. - That is unusual. - Guys, guys. 151 00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,185 You're literally killing me. 152 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,710 Right, let's crack on. When I flick this switch, 153 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:03,972 the lights will flash, there'll be a horrible noise 154 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,277 and a terrible odor 155 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,018 as I transfer the life energy from Nandor 156 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,977 into Colin Robinson. 157 00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:10,979 Sorry, Laszlo, I do have one question. 158 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,937 - Which is? - Will it hurt? 159 00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,417 Pain like you've never known. 160 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,680 And furthermore, if you're overdrained, you could die. 161 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,942 Fuck this, I'm out. 162 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,161 - What? - W... Wait a minute. 163 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,728 I'm starving. 164 00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,338 And you will be fed, Colin Robinson. 165 00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:24,427 But I think we should revert to our original plan. 166 00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:27,038 - The original plan? Are you mad? - I think it's a pretty good plan. 167 00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,649 We cover your black eye with makeup 168 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,215 and make you boring again. 169 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,392 It does seem a lot simpler. 170 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,437 - Let's do that. - All right. 171 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,308 - Cowards. - Makes sense. 172 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:39,094 Turn your back on science at your own peril. 173 00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,052 - We'll take our chances. Thank you, Laszlo. - Yeah. 174 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,011 Seriously, Nadja, 175 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,013 I don't need urgent care. I can just sleep it off. 176 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,754 Do you really think I want to doing this? 177 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,712 If it was up to me, I would have just packed your ankle 178 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,671 in some mud made from fish piss 179 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,237 and fed you some pickled pig's ears. 180 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:55,110 But, no, my husband thinks a doctor is better. 181 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,417 "Trust the science, my darling." 182 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,201 I don't know what's going on 183 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,029 with my body right now, but if a doctor finds out 184 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,205 that I'm almost a vampire, I'm a dead man. 185 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,381 And if Nadja finds out, it'll be worse, so... 186 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,296 Stop squirming, Guillermo, we're very close now. 187 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,298 No, you know what? I feel a lot better. 188 00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:11,996 The vampire doctor is going to fix your mangled foot. 189 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,955 What? You said we were going to urgent care. 190 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,260 Yes, Familiar Urgent Care, silly. 191 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,915 No. No, Nadja, no! 192 00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:24,531 Oh, just look at all these people to feed from. 193 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,316 I don't know, I kind of feel like I want go home 194 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:30,058 - and take the train to sleepy town. - No! 195 00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:32,234 It would be a sleep of death. 196 00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,323 Just take a look at all these losers, hmm? 197 00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,194 Outdoor diners. 198 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:38,283 - They do deserve it. - Yes. 199 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,155 - Great start. - Uh, excuse me. 200 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,070 Hello. 201 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:44,376 I notice you have a d... Oh. Ooh. 202 00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,204 - You got this. - Doggie bag. 203 00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:49,251 Interesting story about how the... 204 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:52,080 origin of the doggie bag started. 205 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:55,257 It was actually a... Ow! 206 00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,998 - Oh, shit! - Son of a bitch! 207 00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,522 World War II, they would 208 00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,350 - take food home for their dog - Did you see that? 209 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,570 instead of wasting it. 210 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,093 Don't look at me! 211 00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:06,529 This isn't interesting. 212 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,183 What have you done? 213 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,664 Someone ran over my foot, shithead. It hurt. 214 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:13,449 - Tell them to go away. - Nothing interesting here. Keep moving, please. 215 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,451 Stop filming me! 216 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,322 - Are you okay? - No, I'm not okay. - Shoo! 217 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,194 He needs privacy. 218 00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,370 - It is fine. - Nandor, take me home. 219 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,458 I'm taking you home. We're gonna go home. 220 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,634 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? 221 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,549 - No! - What the fuck? That's the dude from Mad Men. 222 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,029 Oh, for fuck's sake. 223 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,465 Oh, where's your martini, bud? 224 00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:31,162 - Hi. - You got to be kidding me. 225 00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,990 Damn, you just got hit by John Slattery. 226 00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,209 - That is crazy. - What the heck happened? 227 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:36,037 You stepped off the curb without even looking. 228 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,691 What happened is you ran over my foot! 229 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,606 We really need to go. My friend is not well. 230 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,216 Let me drive you to the hospital. I... I just 231 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,565 played a... a doctor on a season of The Good Fight. 232 00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,914 They love me over there. 233 00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,350 That was a really good episode. 234 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,265 It doesn't even really hurt that much 235 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,702 - anymore. - Well, I'll... I'll drive you home, please? 236 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,486 - It's the least I can do. - You know what? 237 00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,401 We will accept your generous offer. 238 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:53,663 - Yes, yes. - What the fuck are you doing? 239 00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,230 Hey, John, over here. 240 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,971 We will be in that car alone 241 00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,450 with this gentleman that owes you a debt. 242 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,148 Which you will collect 243 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,150 by feeding. 244 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,065 - Hmm? - Yeah. 245 00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:06,894 John Slattery coming to the aid of the guy he just ran over. 246 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,591 - Shotgun left. - Fuck! 247 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,941 - John Slattery, please. - You're a hero, John. 248 00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,464 - One of the greats. - He's not one of the greats. 249 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,336 - He's a reckless driver. - You're a reckless 250 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,511 - walker. - Peasants, disperse! 251 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:16,904 - Begone! - He call us peasants? 252 00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:19,602 Oh, rude. 253 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,430 Animal hospital? Why are we... why are we going here? 254 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:24,128 Ow! 255 00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,304 - This is for pets. I'm not a dog. - Shh! Potato, "potahto." 256 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,959 Um, yes, hello, um, I've got a broken familiar. 257 00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,396 - So, you're gonna want to go around that corner... - Yeah, I've been here before. 258 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:34,182 There is nothing to see here. 259 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:37,533 It is just a Doberman with a floppy tail. 260 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,188 - Hold on tight. - Wait, where are we going? 261 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,493 - Uh, through the wall. - No, no stop! 262 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,104 - That's a solid wall. - No, it's not. 263 00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:47,151 No. No! No! Okay. 264 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,153 - That was kind of cool. - It's just a common cold, so there's gonna be sneezing 265 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:52,243 and coughing and that is gonna be a burden on you, 266 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:55,986 so I have a recommendation. And that is put her down. 267 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,423 - Oh, gosh, you really think so? - Even if she recovers 268 00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:01,165 from this cold, she's... 269 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,037 good God, she's, like, almost 40. 270 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,952 She might squeeze out a few more good years, 271 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,649 but we're talking quality of life. 272 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,390 Okay, let's do it. 273 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,174 No, fuck this. I'm out of here. 274 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,002 Oh, calm, down, it'll be okay. 275 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,482 No! 276 00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,484 Got a live one. 277 00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:18,269 - Thanks, guys. - Sedate him, Jack. - No. 278 00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:19,488 - Fantastic. - That's it. 279 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,142 Aw. 280 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,970 Sweet dreams, Guillermo. 281 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,580 Yeah, perfect. 282 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,104 You, uh, you okay back there? 283 00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:29,237 You look like shit. 284 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,500 Well, yeah, I mean, you ran over my foot. 285 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,503 Sorry about all the cell phone pictures and stuff. 286 00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:36,026 You know, you would that people in New York 287 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:37,637 would have seen a famous actor before. 288 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,508 It is quite all right, John Slattery. 289 00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:41,728 You have our gratitude. 290 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,773 Drain him. 291 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,688 Do you find it, uh, difficult? 292 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,038 What? 293 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,127 Do you find it difficult 294 00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,129 being an older actor? 295 00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,349 Having to memorize lines? 296 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,351 Especially when you've been drinking. 297 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,483 Slattery... that's an Irish name, right? 298 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,616 Wait, s... say that last part again. 299 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,923 What, "Slattery's an Irish name"? 300 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:06,230 I mean, I personally don't mind the Irish. 301 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,146 But I just don't like it when they try to sound intelligent. 302 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,627 Huh, wow. 303 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:14,717 I could listen to you talk for hours. 304 00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:17,328 - Exsqueeze me? - I mean, not to what you're saying, but to that accent. 305 00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:19,722 It's just so specific. Where are you from? 306 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,506 - Well... - Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Upper Midwest. 307 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:24,292 For sure. Uh, Wisconsin? 308 00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,207 But not eastern Wisconsin, that would have more of 309 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,383 a Germanic influence to it, am I right? 310 00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,994 Are you, like, prepping for a role or something? 311 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,344 No, this isn't for a role. I just love accents. 312 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,303 People are just walking stories, you know? 313 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:38,349 In all their fascination and specificity. 314 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,481 You ever see the movie Spotlight? 315 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,353 About the Boston Globe reporters 316 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:46,096 who uncovered the sexual abuse coverup in the Catholic church? 317 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,229 - Yeah, exactly. - No. 318 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,231 Oh. Well, in that I played Ben Bradlee, Jr. 319 00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:52,276 And that character begins with the accent, 320 00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,714 because the real Bradlee is from Boston. 321 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,412 But he's an upper-crust guy. 322 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:58,543 Not like some jamoke standing 323 00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,284 around Kelly's Tavern 324 00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,286 in, uh, Revere Beach, you know what I mean? 325 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:04,071 - Very good, John Slattery. - Not bad, right? 326 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,290 - But I was talking to him. - Oh. 327 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,249 You know, it's funny, I had this babysitter when I was a kid. 328 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,990 She was Irish. Her name was Vivian. 329 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,470 But again, sorry for your loss. 330 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,559 She was just a familiar, but thank you. 331 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,953 It is kind of nice to think of Cathy 332 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,650 on that rainbow bridge, 333 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,609 doing stuff with her familiar friends. 334 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:23,264 Having spaghetti or whatever it is they dream of doing. 335 00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,527 Well, they're in a better place now. 336 00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,398 - Yes. - I wish I was. 337 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:30,053 - I'm looking for a Nadja. - Oh, yes. 338 00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,186 - Please, can we go? - Well, 339 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,057 Guillermo's ankle is healing up nicely, 340 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,451 which is very unusual, so... 341 00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:39,323 just to be safe... I say we put him down. 342 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:40,672 He could break that ankle again, 343 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,500 he could break the other ankle or 344 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,372 - he could just bitch a lot. - Hmm. 345 00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,243 Think we're just gonna take him home. 346 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,158 All right. Well, that is your choice. 347 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,160 - Yes. - Oh, there's one more thing. 348 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,641 The results of that blood work came back and they're very odd, 349 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:55,165 so I'm just gonna have it retested, will not take long. 350 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,951 I promise I'm gonna get you out of here well before sunrise. 351 00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,605 Now I'm thinking, 352 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:02,607 "They're going to test him again?" 353 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,261 What if they find that Van Helsing muck 354 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,654 in his blood? 355 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,134 I'm going to have to get him out of here. 356 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,963 Why are we heading towards 357 00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,660 the Verrazzano Bridge? 358 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,445 Uh, are you... are you taking us to Brooklyn? 359 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,447 Are you taking us to Brooklyn? Are you... 360 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,709 That... It's really... That's a tough one. It's got kind 361 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,407 of a twang to it. Say something else. 362 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,322 I don't want to go to Brooklyn. 363 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:22,976 I don't want to go to Brooklyn? 364 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,499 There's a little bit of an uptalk there. 365 00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,196 I don't want to go to Brooklyn? 366 00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,154 - Can you let us out right h... - Can you 367 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,243 let us out right here, please? 368 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,026 You also have these interesting 369 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,549 pauses in your speech, but 370 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:34,248 I can't tell if they're regional or uniquely you or... 371 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,032 It's just the most interesting accent 372 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:38,034 - I've ever heard. - Okay, fuck this. 373 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,601 I mean, where are you from? I'm sorry, guys. That's kind of 374 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,516 mean, right? I'm not trying to make fun of you, 375 00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:42,604 I'm just trying to get it in my head, you know, 376 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,171 it's all about muscle memory. 377 00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,520 Guillermo? 378 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,739 Guillermo! 379 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:50,220 Guillermo, why the hell are you wearing a dress? 380 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:53,006 Hey, Nandor, you made it. Hey, girl. 381 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,529 Get your shit together, we got to go. 382 00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:56,531 No, I want to lie down. You know they gave me 383 00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:59,055 some relax and it's making me feel very medicine. 384 00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,014 They are testing your blood 385 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,233 and they're going to find your Van Helsing germs 386 00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,105 and whatever else you've got going on in there and then 387 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,194 - they're going to kill you, so let's go! - That sounds serious. 388 00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,586 Can I say something? 389 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,024 - Nadja? - What? 390 00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:13,896 I think you're wonderful and I love... Ow! 391 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:17,160 You're a crazy bitch. But I love you. 392 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,901 You know who else I love is Laszlo. 393 00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,990 But he's a horny little bitch. 394 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,036 I also love Colin Robinson. 395 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:24,951 He's, like, a little boring bitch. 396 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,561 Like, he's like an LBB. 397 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:29,607 But, you know, the one I love the most is actually Nandor. 398 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,696 Because he's, like, the queen bitch. 399 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,263 Is that crazy? 400 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,699 Hey. Who's that bitch? 401 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,615 Wow, you are such a miracle worker. 402 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,704 He is back to a red, shiny, 403 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,011 fresh apple, so, think we're gonna get 404 00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,230 - the ol' dog home now. - Yeah. 405 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,579 I don't think that's gonna happen. 406 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,536 I have a question for you. 407 00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:47,364 Who turned him? 408 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:48,931 Who what? 409 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,977 According to his blood, 410 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,674 this familiar has been turned into a vampire. 411 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:55,459 Yes, it's early stages, but he is well on his way. 412 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,548 No, I'm sorry, there's been a huge mistake. 413 00:14:57,548 --> 00:15:00,290 Are you regretting turning him? Because if you are, 414 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,118 you should have thought of that before you did it. 415 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,990 - Guillermo? - Yeah. 416 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,426 - A vampire? - Yes. 417 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,514 That thing? 418 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,429 That loser is a vampire? 419 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,083 Absolutely not. 420 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,432 Have you seen how lame he is? 421 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:12,563 Science does not lie. 422 00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,000 Now, it must be recent 423 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,523 because he's still transforming. 424 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:18,439 No one in our house would do such a thing. 425 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,571 Well, then we have a very big problem, 'cause 426 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,269 I'm gonna put him down. 427 00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,619 Well, you can't do that because... 428 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,447 He is our familiar! 429 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,840 - You need to let him go. - Get your hands off of me! 430 00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:34,368 Guillermo? Guillermo? 431 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:39,460 Guillermo! Guillermo! 432 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,551 Guillermo! 433 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,553 Guillermo, snap out of it. 434 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,468 They think you are a bastard vampire 435 00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:48,643 And they're going to kill you. 436 00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:49,774 - Guillermo? - Come on, girl. 437 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,124 Get out! 438 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,952 Guillermo. 439 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,476 Guillermo? Hello? 440 00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,826 Sorry. Guillermo? 441 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,959 Guillermo? 442 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,048 Nadja, hi. 443 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,701 What? You work here? 444 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,486 Volunteer, actually. 445 00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:07,662 It's a way of giving back. 446 00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,969 I mean, who rescued who, right? 447 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,449 - Have you seen Guillermo? - Guillermo? 448 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,495 Oh, no, no, not here. 449 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,453 This place is just for strays. 450 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,934 - I have a family. - Hey! Eat your chicken! 451 00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,980 - He's not gonna make it. - I can hear you. 452 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,982 Guillermo! Open! 453 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,940 Guillermo. 454 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,334 Uh, I don't... think I can make it. 455 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,510 Of course you're gonna make it. I know this is difficult, 456 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,729 but you've got to be strong, okay? 457 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:35,472 I want you to go in here and ask to use the toilet. 458 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:38,301 Then I want you to ask for a sanitary wipe. 459 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,260 Then I want you to ask 460 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,175 when the last time they cleaned the toilet. 461 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,480 Then I want you to tell them 462 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,221 you're gonna take a nice big shit, okay? 463 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,354 It's gonna buy you a few more hours of energy. 464 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:50,313 - Whoa! Get the fuck out! - Oh, fuck. 465 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,446 - May I use your toilet? - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 466 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,839 Yo! 467 00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,580 It's my guy from TikTok. 468 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,626 What? 469 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,671 Whoa! Nobody fucking move. 470 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,372 Jump around...? 471 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,590 Colin Robinson, that's you. 472 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,244 - Oh, for crying out loud. - Yeah. 473 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:10,246 How did they make this so quick? And the music? 474 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,769 Aah! 475 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,336 Nice shot. 476 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:16,165 Thank you so much! You saved my store! 477 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,254 - He did? - How clean's your toi... 478 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,517 - It's... - No! 479 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,302 Colin Robinson! 480 00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,304 - Guillermo! - You can't be back here. 481 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,349 Move! 482 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,351 Fuck off! 483 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,527 - Guillermo! - Hey, girl. 484 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,790 Get off him! Get away! 485 00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,966 He's mine! 486 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:39,841 Get off him! Get off! 487 00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:42,148 Shoo! Scram! 488 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,934 Now, what the fuck, man? 489 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,588 This doctor tells me you're almost a vampire? 490 00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,894 Oops, I have a little secret. 491 00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:52,288 Focus, Guillermo. The truth now. 492 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:54,769 Fine! Okay? 493 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:58,077 I took my fate into my own destiny and I had Derek do it. 494 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,904 I paid him to do it. He turned me into a vampire! 495 00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:02,037 Derek? 496 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:05,171 You could have been turned by a legendary vampire, 497 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:09,044 and you gave it away to Derek? 498 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:12,221 Nandor is going to rip your face into a new asshole. 499 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,788 Well, it doesn't matter, does, it, 'cause these guys 500 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,355 - are gonna kill me anyways. - Oh shut up, you dumb dick. 501 00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:17,922 I'm not gonna let them kill you. That is Nandor's privilege. 502 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,750 Now, come on, let's go. 503 00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,884 I told you, we need to put him down. 504 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,277 That's not going to happen. 505 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:25,974 He is coming with me, 506 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:29,151 and his master will decide how to kill him. 507 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,893 If we release an abomination like that onto the street, 508 00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,677 I'm gonna lose my medical license. 509 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,725 Nadja! Watch out. 510 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:44,558 Help me, you load. 511 00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,301 - Oh, whoa. - Good one, Guillermo! 512 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:49,650 - Ow. - Yes! 513 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,608 Nice one. 514 00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:53,132 - Ha! - Watch out! 515 00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:00,356 Don't touch her! 516 00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:02,880 No! 517 00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:07,058 You're just a glorified vet. 518 00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,017 Guillermo! 519 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,018 Nadja! 520 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,240 Get away from her, you bitch! 521 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,895 Oh! 522 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:21,116 Thank you, Girerro. 523 00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:24,206 Oh. I think I might've got a little bit of poison in my face. 524 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,121 Do I look okay? 525 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:29,342 - Yeah. You look... you look fine. - Good. 526 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:30,995 Now go and find your clothes and I'll... 527 00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,129 Let's go. 528 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:38,655 Laszlo! Laszlo! 529 00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,222 - What is it, man? - Help! 530 00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,137 Quick, to the laboratory. 531 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,620 - Laszlo, hurry. Please hurry. - All right. 532 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,143 Now, brace yourself, fellas. 533 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,275 Turning the machine 534 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,190 on. 535 00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,020 Is it working? Do you feel good? 536 00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:00,721 It hurt at first, but now I kind of like it. 537 00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:01,896 Yeah. 538 00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,594 What exactly is the purpose of this machine? 539 00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:07,162 It's just a simple energy transference device. 540 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:10,165 I originally built it to combat situational impotence, 541 00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:12,863 or whiskey dick, as you might call it. 542 00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:15,953 Oh, that makes sense, 'cause I'm getting a little 543 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,042 tickle in my pickle. 544 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,740 Well, that's an accident, 'cause I removed that aspect. 545 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,611 - Must be the vibrations. - Could be. 546 00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,918 Or could be the smell. 547 00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,659 I really like the smell of burning hair. 548 00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:26,747 What about you, Nandor? 549 00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,618 How are you finding it? 550 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,098 Oh, fuck. 551 00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,624 Shit. 552 00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:36,539 Turning the machine off. 553 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,194 Reverse the process, Laszlo. 554 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,587 Well, I can't. It's too late, isn't it? 555 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,458 - Look at him. Shit. - Laszlo! 556 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,199 - Get fucking downstairs! - Shit. 557 00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,723 Go ahead. I'll reenergize Nandor myself. 558 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,116 - How? - Laszlo! - Well, if I can drain 559 00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,248 the energy from people, 560 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,466 I sure as hell can put it back in them. 561 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,076 - Just go. Trust me. - Get downstairs! 562 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,817 - Coming, my darling. - Don't you "darling" me. 563 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,732 Would I be wrong in sensing some... 564 00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:58,126 Nandor? Hello. 565 00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:00,781 It's your boy, Colin Robinson. 566 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:05,351 But I'm going to tell you my real name. It's... 567 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,527 Arthur... 568 00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:09,180 Simon... 569 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:10,443 Santino. 570 00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,228 But I... I had to change it 571 00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:15,622 because people would laugh when they realized 572 00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:19,103 that the initials spelled out "ass." 573 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,237 Ass. 574 00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:24,370 Do you know who it was that pointed that out to me? 575 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,371 No. 576 00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:27,677 It was my ex-boyfriend, 577 00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:29,331 Davy Crockett. 578 00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,724 At the Alamo. 579 00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,509 - Really? - Yeah. 580 00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:35,685 If... if you don't believe me, 581 00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:39,428 maybe this knife that Jim Bowie gave me will convince you. 582 00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:40,821 Ass. 583 00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:46,087 - My darling, you need to calm down. - I mean, what the hell? 584 00:21:46,087 --> 00:21:48,263 - - We have a little two-faced bitch, lying-behind-the-back 585 00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,221 vampire in the house and my husband doesn't think 586 00:21:50,221 --> 00:21:51,484 - I need to know about it? - Cool it, 587 00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:53,355 my darling. I'm just trying to find a cure. 588 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,400 All right? Now, 589 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,749 if I can stop the transformation, 590 00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:58,186 maybe Nandor can turn Gizmo. 591 00:21:58,186 --> 00:22:01,450 - You are a worthless piece of big, wet skatá, Guillermo. - Yeah. 592 00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:03,365 When Nandor finds out, he's going to kill you. 593 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:04,584 And then he's going to kill all of us. 594 00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:05,672 - Mm. - And then he's going to kill himself. 595 00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:06,716 - Then don't tell him. - I'm not going 596 00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:08,065 to lie to my housemate to cover up 597 00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,545 - your treachery. - Just give me 598 00:22:09,545 --> 00:22:11,025 a chance to make this up. When I did this, I didn't... 599 00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,027 Finally. Well, well, well. 600 00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:14,507 You've been gone all night. 601 00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,421 What, you can't even call? 602 00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:17,031 Sorry. 603 00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:18,293 They tried to put me down. 604 00:22:18,293 --> 00:22:19,555 What? Why? 605 00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:21,035 What did the doctor say? 606 00:22:21,035 --> 00:22:22,428 Uh, uh, uh... 607 00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:24,734 Yes? 608 00:22:26,214 --> 00:22:27,607 Guillermo is fine. 609 00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:29,522 Just your average weak-boned, 610 00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:31,393 broken-foot familiar. 611 00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:34,265 I guess someone won't be cutting a rug anytime soon. 612 00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:35,310 Wait. 613 00:22:36,659 --> 00:22:38,269 Don't move. 614 00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:46,582 What... 615 00:22:46,582 --> 00:22:48,541 the hell... 616 00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:50,369 is this? 617 00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:54,285 Hmm? 618 00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:57,114 Frog? 619 00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:58,681 Really? A frog? 620 00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:01,380 A frog that flies and has hair 621 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,643 and looks kind of like you? 622 00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,298 Guillermo, do you think I am an idiot? 623 00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:08,735 Say no. 624 00:23:08,735 --> 00:23:09,779 No. 625 00:23:09,779 --> 00:23:10,998 That's right. 626 00:23:10,998 --> 00:23:12,521 Because this is 627 00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:14,436 precisely what happens 628 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:17,265 when a little birdy sneaks into this house, 629 00:23:17,265 --> 00:23:19,659 fucks a mouse, they have a child that grows up 630 00:23:19,659 --> 00:23:22,444 that then fucks a frog that looks like you. 631 00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,708 This is a direct result of your slacking. 632 00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:28,624 We are not running a fucking circus here. 633 00:23:28,624 --> 00:23:30,104 Yeesh. 634 00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:33,237 Give him to me. 635 00:23:33,237 --> 00:23:34,587 You may have fooled him, 636 00:23:34,587 --> 00:23:37,807 'cause he has the IQ of a Russian toilet, 637 00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:39,809 but I know you're up to something, aren't you, 638 00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:41,376 you little sneaky Pete? 639 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,816 Okay, Colin, 640 00:23:46,816 --> 00:23:48,470 - if I tell you something... - Psych. 641 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,863 I couldn't give two squirts. 642 00:23:54,215 --> 00:23:55,999 It's in the blood, man 643 00:23:58,524 --> 00:24:00,526 It's in the blood 644 00:24:03,093 --> 00:24:05,095 It's in the blood, man 645 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:06,183 It's in the blood...? 646 00:24:06,183 --> 00:24:07,881 Gui... 647 00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:11,232 - ller... mo. - Surely not. 648 00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:12,320 Gui... 649 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,931 ller... mo. 650 00:24:16,106 --> 00:24:17,151 Yeah. 651 00:24:17,151 --> 00:24:18,369 Carry on. 652 00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:19,632 It's in the blood, man 653 00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:23,070 It's in the blood, man 654 00:24:23,070 --> 00:24:24,680 It's in the blood, man 655 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,465 Get it or not 656 00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:29,032 It's in the blood, man 657 00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:32,035 It's in the blood, man 658 00:24:32,035 --> 00:24:33,036 It's in the blood, man 659 00:24:33,036 --> 00:24:35,343 Tell him or not 660 00:24:45,788 --> 00:24:47,790 - It's in the blood, man - If you catch the cure 661 00:24:47,790 --> 00:24:50,967 - It's in the blood, man - If you catch the cure...? 662 00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:54,667 - It's in the blood, man - You can tell without knowing 663 00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:56,799 - It's in the blood, man - If you catch the cure 664 00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:59,759 - It's in the blood, man - If you catch the cure...? 665 00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:00,803 It's in the blood, man.? 48235

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.