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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:01,950 --> 00:00:03,837
- Hey! Hey, guys.
- Oh, hey, Paul.
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00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,639
Just marking down all our
birthdays in the calendar
3
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,240
and it turns out I don't have yours.
4
00:00:07,270 --> 00:00:09,134
Oh, yeah. That makes sense.
5
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- Paul.
- Yeah.
6
00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:12,638
When's your b-dizzle?
7
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,181
Uh, it's kinda complicated.
8
00:00:14,190 --> 00:00:16,058
Oh, come on. Age is just a number.
9
00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:18,102
Well, September 12th
is my jail birthday.
10
00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:20,160
I got assigned that b-day
when my cellmate found out
11
00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:21,500
we were born on the same day.
12
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,983
Hamburger Mouth was very proprietary.
13
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,068
Aw, Hamburger Mouth!
That's a fun nickname.
14
00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:28,988
He was not fun. You don't even
wanna know what he was in for.
15
00:00:28,990 --> 00:00:30,019
Well, it can't have been worse
16
00:00:30,020 --> 00:00:31,499
than robbing you of your special day.
17
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,640
- He was a cannibal.
- I stand corrected.
18
00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:36,220
Anyway, so, I don't really
celebrate because of that.
19
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,760
Well, forget that big ole b-day bully.
20
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It's time for you to reclaim your day
21
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,834
and you can bet we're gonna fête
22
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,418
- with cake and ice cream.
- Yeah,
23
00:00:42,419 --> 00:00:44,500
I mean, Hamburger's still
in for another 25 years
24
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,963
so, what the heck?
25
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,217
Uh, my real birthday's April 14th.
26
00:00:52,020 --> 00:00:55,550
- Aren't you gonna write it in?
- Yes, I sure am.
27
00:00:57,350 --> 00:00:59,643
Looks like we have more in
common than we thought.
28
00:00:59,650 --> 00:01:02,520
Sorry I went a little crazy
with bubble letters.
29
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,920
So silly to think no one else
would have the same b-day.
30
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,600
Many people do including you
and a cannibal apparently,
31
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,820
so, we'll just split the
cake and ice cream.
32
00:01:09,830 --> 00:01:12,281
Did I say the 14th? I meant the fourth.
33
00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:14,280
- You don't have to lie.
- No, I just forget.
34
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:17,369
Hamburger and me are
the fourth. April fourth.
35
00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:19,400
Oh, thank God.
36
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:22,625
Yay, April babies!
37
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April fourth: shelter birthday.
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Better make a note of that.
39
00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:42,380
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
40
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,941
Ooh! I read that one. Great read.
41
00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:50,820
Is it? A friend of mine had
something published in it.
42
00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:52,080
I find it all kind of boring,
43
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:54,281
but hashtag women
supporting women, right?
44
00:01:54,290 --> 00:01:56,160
Totally. Women are so boring,
45
00:01:56,180 --> 00:01:58,118
but I support all my friends too.
46
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:59,995
That's not... But good for you.
47
00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:03,603
So... do you think Ravi's the one?
48
00:02:05,060 --> 00:02:06,740
Sorry.
49
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,879
Um, that's a big question.
50
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,260
'Cause I think I met my soulmate
51
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:14,220
and you and Ravi seem so together.
52
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,783
Do they?
53
00:02:15,790 --> 00:02:19,880
I mean, they do, but also very
independent from each other.
54
00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:22,142
So what makes you think
this person's your soulmate?
55
00:02:22,150 --> 00:02:25,540
Well, the other day
we were having coffee
56
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,897
and he called me "darling."
57
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:29,024
Aww. You went on a coffee date?
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00:02:30,220 --> 00:02:31,260
Sort of.
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00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,500
We didn't talk much.
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00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,401
But when I was leaving,
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00:02:34,410 --> 00:02:38,283
he asked if I wanted to take
the rest to go and I said yes.
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00:02:38,290 --> 00:02:41,300
Then he said "okay" and
poured it into a takeout cup
63
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,164
and topped it up, no charge.
64
00:02:44,170 --> 00:02:46,750
Sorry, Joy, was this person
working at the coffee shop?
65
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,280
Mm-hm.
66
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,803
Well, it sounds like you two
definitely shared a connection,
67
00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:53,340
- but I wouldn't limit yourself.
- I agree.
68
00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:56,000
Not that you're asking,
but that is great advice.
69
00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:57,344
Don't settle!
70
00:02:57,350 --> 00:03:00,055
You don't think coffee
hottie could be the one?
71
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:02,000
It's just you might wanna
find out people's names
72
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:03,309
if they're gonna be your soulmate.
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00:03:03,310 --> 00:03:04,580
Lara.
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00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,854
I mean, yes, Lara, you would.
75
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:08,147
Are you online?
76
00:03:08,150 --> 00:03:11,316
There are a lot of apps
for meeting people,
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00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,139
and there are ones where
women make all the moves
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00:03:13,140 --> 00:03:14,703
so you're in control.
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00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:15,988
What sites are you on?
80
00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:18,260
Oh. Uh, Date...
81
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,980
Dater. Date.
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00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:22,411
Yeah, tons of great ones.
83
00:03:22,420 --> 00:03:23,499
Still, the longer you wait,
84
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:25,456
the longer it'll take
to meet your soulmate.
85
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:28,100
- Like Ravi?
- No, more like Darren.
86
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,460
But he moved to Costa Rica
and married a dolphin trainer.
87
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,671
Still, would it kill him to like
my posts or congratulate me
88
00:03:32,672 --> 00:03:35,680
on my climbing certificate?
I did it for you!
89
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:37,500
Anyway, it's fun meeting people.
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00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,540
That coffee guy once
called me darling too.
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00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,760
I get it.
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00:03:52,570 --> 00:03:54,080
Hi.
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00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:57,280
- Can I help you?
- Oh, um, just lookin' for Nikki.
94
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,072
She works for me over at McKibbin's.
95
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,283
She has a job? Like, another job?
96
00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,659
She buses part-time at our bar.
97
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,500
Wow, fun! Love that pub grub.
98
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,914
Best wings in the city
three years runnin'!
99
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,415
Go you!
100
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:10,920
Thanks. Uh, so, is she around?
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00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:12,711
She's not answering the phone.
102
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,070
Right. Uh, she got into a
fight with her boyfriend
103
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,589
and threw his phone out the car window
104
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,260
only turns out it wasn't
his phone, it was hers.
105
00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:20,719
Relationships, right?
106
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,620
- I don't know. I'm single.
- Samesies!
107
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:28,630
Okay. Well, um, just tell Nikki
I'm short-staffed Saturday
108
00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:30,813
and I need someone to host trivia.
109
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:33,420
She's always volunteering,
mostly to get out of cleaning,
110
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,318
but if she wants a
shot, then this is it.
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00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,580
I'll be there! I mean,
she'll be there, Nikki.
112
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,448
And, uh, me too probably,
because we tight.
113
00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:44,840
Um, yep.
114
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,460
I am texting her right now,
115
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,914
and... she's in.
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I thought her phone was trashed.
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Good memory.
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00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,460
You are gonna kill it at trivia.
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00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,080
Okay, I'll see you Saturday.
120
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:04,680
- God, I thought he'd never leave!
- Wait, we you hiding?
121
00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:06,421
Duh, there's no way
I'm working Saturday.
122
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:07,933
He said you'd always wanted to.
123
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,900
I nodded one time 'cause I
was hiding fries in my mouth.
124
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,064
Nikki, this is an amazing
opportunity for you.
125
00:05:14,070 --> 00:05:16,200
Meet new people in a super caj' way,
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00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:19,180
expose yourself to a whole
new career possibility.
127
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,530
I'll even come cheer you on.
128
00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:25,680
- And I'll buy the first round.
- I mean, I do like telling people
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00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,460
- they're wrong.
- Great! Then it's a date!
130
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,120
Oh, and I need you to clean Meow Town.
131
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,180
It is fur balls for miles.
132
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,600
I would, but I have to prep for trivia.
133
00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:36,080
Gee, Shan, was that you I was
talking to just now or not?
134
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,380
I had no idea how many guys love cats.
135
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:56,080
- It's so cute.
- Really?
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00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,760
Maybe I should add that to my bio.
137
00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:58,940
Definitely.
138
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,341
Cute. Cute.
139
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:04,360
Whoa. This guy's tagline is
"I'll know I've found the one
140
00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:06,480
when I meet you."
141
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,911
How am I ever gonna pick the one?
142
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,119
Well, maybe go on a date or two
143
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,747
before you plan the wedding.
144
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,340
Uh, more like ten dates.
145
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,209
11. 12.
146
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:19,254
Oh, my gosh, does this make
me a S-L-you know what?
147
00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:21,620
You realize they have to
match with you, right?
148
00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:24,640
- Uh, with this app I get to decide.
- But they have to like you back.
149
00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:25,880
So, you think they're hotties,
150
00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:27,512
but they have to think you're a hottie.
151
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,681
Not that you're not a hottie.
152
00:06:29,682 --> 00:06:32,893
Objectively, you're not unattractive.
I'm just not attracted to you.
153
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:37,099
Because I'm so busy with
my own online hotties,
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00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,398
like this one.
155
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:42,611
Anyway, just don't, uh, count
your guys before they're matched,
156
00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:43,840
so to speak.
157
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:45,920
I get it. You're just jealous.
158
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:48,480
No. How? Why would I...
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00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,410
I didn't even swipe.
160
00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:02,780
- Hey there, busy bee.
- Ah, Aunt Peggy!
161
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,500
Just came from the
library to drop this off!
162
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,541
A hot, steamy new issue of...
163
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:09,972
Okay Crochet! Is this for Nikki?
164
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:11,264
No, for you, sweetie.
165
00:07:11,270 --> 00:07:12,349
You complimented my beret last week
166
00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:13,729
so I thought you might wanna learn!
167
00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:14,980
Right, of course!
168
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,145
- Unless your compliment was a fib.
- What?
169
00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:20,680
- No! Love dat hat.
- And crochet's for everyone,
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00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:23,320
even someone with masculine hands.
171
00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:24,860
Well, thank you.
172
00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:26,893
Well, there's something
I don't hear too often.
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00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:28,039
- What do you mean?
- Nothing.
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00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,400
I just... I have a
very satisfactory life,
175
00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:33,203
but sometimes it just feels
good to be appreciated.
176
00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:35,700
- Oh, I'm sorry if I haven't been...
- I meant my husband.
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00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,370
Who's more interested in an old car
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00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,199
than the woman who's been
putting food in front of him
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00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,335
for 34 years.
180
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:42,470
Well, he does make those great fajitas.
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00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,797
No, but I getcha.
182
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,120
And then there's Nikki.
183
00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:48,213
I have no idea what she's up to.
184
00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:50,513
The laundry pile in her
doorway is my only proof
185
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,264
she's not face-down
in a ditch somewhere.
186
00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:53,539
She has a lot going on right now,
187
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:54,760
between working here
188
00:07:54,780 --> 00:07:56,643
and now hosting bar
trivia at McKibbin's.
189
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,380
I didn't even know that!
190
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,250
I used to work in a diner
191
00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:01,523
during the summers in Port Dalhousie.
192
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,400
- Sweet Potato.
- Do you know it?
193
00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:04,943
Nope, but you've talked about it.
194
00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:06,737
It's so weird Nikki wouldn't tell me.
195
00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:07,960
She's probably been too busy,
196
00:08:07,990 --> 00:08:10,866
but I know that I... she
is really excited about it.
197
00:08:10,870 --> 00:08:13,030
Well, my weekend's pretty exciting too.
198
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,520
Saturday's meal prep day,
199
00:08:14,540 --> 00:08:17,247
followed by Sit Alone Sunday.
200
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,280
Meal prep? That's fun.
201
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,669
So, what's this McRibbon's place like?
202
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,780
It's nothing fancy,
just a neighbourhood bar
203
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,922
for regular Joes.
204
00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,424
- Sounds cozy.
- The kind of place
205
00:08:27,430 --> 00:08:28,959
where they welcome
you with a warm smile,
206
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,400
maybe a bit of scruff on the face
207
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:33,180
and a scent that's like
a strong cup of coffee,
208
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,891
afternoon rain, and a cowboy.
209
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,520
I'm in!
210
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,355
Oh, well, well, what about meal prep?
211
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,300
Defrost your own turkey à la king, Russ.
212
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,401
Saturday night is ladies' night!
213
00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:47,780
Oh, it's in the afternoon.
214
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,640
Then let the day drinking begin.
215
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:52,460
Oh, and the pattern I used
is French Bistro Babe beret.
216
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,740
It goes with everything.
217
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,080
Great.
218
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,140
Something sounds funny.
219
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,715
- Just talking to Tobias.
- Oh!
220
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:09,883
Who's Tobias?
221
00:09:09,890 --> 00:09:12,263
Uh, one of my many matches on Snuggler.
222
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:14,387
Looks like someone is a hottie.
223
00:09:14,390 --> 00:09:16,264
Well, I'm glad to hear
it's going so well.
224
00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:18,160
And I'm not at all surprised.
225
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,520
I'm slaying it too. Bee tee dubs.
226
00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:23,343
Yeah. You know, a few too many women
227
00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:25,178
were impressed with my
orienteering trophies.
228
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:26,459
I just needed a breather, you know?
229
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:28,652
Just put the focus back
on the animals. Wow!
230
00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:30,251
Look at those cheekbones.
231
00:09:30,260 --> 00:09:32,953
Yeah. Kind of a cross
between Harry Styles
232
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,820
and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
233
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:38,161
And he uses full sentences
like a British prince.
234
00:09:38,170 --> 00:09:39,800
Oh, Joy.
235
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:43,880
I don't wanna kill the vibe here,
but as far as Mr. Ice Tray Abs,
236
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,961
all signs point to a catfish.
237
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:47,580
A what?
238
00:09:47,590 --> 00:09:50,200
Catfishers troll the Internet
lying about who they are
239
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:52,440
to trick people. They're
the worst. Look it up.
240
00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:54,400
But he's a lawyer,
241
00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,240
and plays the cello and volunteers
242
00:09:56,260 --> 00:09:58,140
- at a community food centre.
- No.
243
00:09:58,150 --> 00:10:01,110
Best case scenario, this guy lives
with his mom and some ferrets.
244
00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:03,300
Worst case, he lives without his mom,
245
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,813
because he murdered her.
246
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,940
Okay, I can tell if someone's real.
247
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,340
Just because you can't get a date
248
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,610
doesn't mean everyone's a jerk.
249
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,654
No, that's not... I have... no.
250
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:14,039
And at least I'm not hiding in the back
251
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,219
with a bunch of homeless animals
252
00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:16,980
who only like me because I feed them.
253
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:18,950
I'm talking about you!
254
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,340
Yeah.
255
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,950
Well, workplace bullying
is not the answer.
256
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:30,620
Okay, people, we're starting in ten.
257
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,200
So, liquor up and tip your bartenders.
258
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:35,760
We pool tips, and I'm
about to serve up gold.
259
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,940
Hey! Nikki, you look so great up there!
260
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,840
I know. Sick hair day.
261
00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,359
And you should've heard my sound check.
262
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:44,939
My joke about French
toilet paper killed.
263
00:10:44,940 --> 00:10:46,605
Your mom is gonna be so proud.
264
00:10:46,610 --> 00:10:47,856
What?
265
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,520
Oh, yeah. She kinda invited herself.
266
00:10:49,540 --> 00:10:51,680
She's just exchanging numbers
with the Uber driver.
267
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,360
How did she even find out?
268
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:54,940
I may have told her,
269
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,760
but it's gonna be fine.
270
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,290
Would you say hat on or off?
271
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,620
What do most people do?
272
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,120
Does Fergus have rules
about that or... ?
273
00:11:02,130 --> 00:11:03,910
Are you calling him?
Don't tell him I asked.
274
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,166
Hey, Mom, that thing Shannon
told you about is cancelled.
275
00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:09,120
Nikki, no, she's excited to come!
276
00:11:09,140 --> 00:11:12,020
Peg gets high on critiquing.
It's her drug of choice
277
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,858
and that's why I never
invite her to anything.
278
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:15,239
Well, if she's starts getting chippy,
279
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,140
I'll just throw down some
classic retort burns.
280
00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:19,471
I was on the improv team in high school?
281
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:20,780
Is that a brag?
282
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,040
There she is, my angel muffin!
283
00:11:23,070 --> 00:11:26,519
Oh, and look at all that
eyeliner. Spooky!
284
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,271
'Cause spooky's where it's at.
285
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,620
- Good for you, Niknak.
- Don't call me that.
286
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:31,780
I'm just so jazzed!
287
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,600
You've always wanted
to do stuff like this
288
00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:35,862
and now you're doin' it, in a bar!
289
00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:38,420
- Next stop, Broadway!
- Bit of a stretch.
290
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,240
Well, we gotta dream big, right, Niknak?
291
00:11:40,270 --> 00:11:41,680
Only I call her that.
292
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,420
Wow, so glad you both came.
293
00:11:59,210 --> 00:12:00,929
"I would invite you, in this time
294
00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:03,039
- of profound change, young Taurus... "
- Kristian!
295
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,200
Kristian!
296
00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:06,000
Uh, I'm reading the animals
their horoscopes.
297
00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:07,600
Uh, it's an emergency.
298
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,400
Yes, Chester's moon is rising.
299
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,147
I don't want him to see me!
300
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,735
Oh, my God. Is that Tobias?
301
00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:19,823
He's like a Photoshopped
version of his own photo.
302
00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:21,560
- But he's not supposed to be here.
- What?
303
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:25,280
After all that stuff you
said about catfishing,
304
00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,539
- I stopped messaging him.
- Good.
305
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:29,020
I mean, he is gorgeous,
306
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,001
but everything beyond
that is pure weirdo.
307
00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:33,378
I could drown in those brown eyes.
308
00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:35,171
And he would help you with that.
309
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:42,300
Okay, what country sells
the most beer per person?
310
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,580
Germany, Austria, or the Czech Republic?
311
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,119
- Ireland!
- Gotta be Germany.
312
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,020
- Czech Republic?
- Correct, Shannon Ross!
313
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,620
Good job, honey. You too, Nikki!
314
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,981
That's my daughter up there.
315
00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:56,090
But stand up straight, honey.
You wanna be tall and beautiful,
316
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,650
- not all...
- Woo, Nikki! Keep 'em comin'!
317
00:12:58,660 --> 00:13:00,540
Okay, listen up, film fans.
318
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:03,480
- These are for you.
- Wowza, quelle chemise !
319
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,744
So brave to bear our arms
in this weather, brrr!
320
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:08,060
- In what 19...
- New sparkle top, who dis?
321
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,873
Is that right? Did I get that right?
322
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,571
And what do you think of my top?
323
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:14,210
Kinda crazy, right? I got
it in the discount bin.
324
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:17,672
Oh, well, I'm sure it was
very pretty before it shrunk.
325
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,900
When I was your age,
we had so many rules
326
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,920
and morals and modesty.
327
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:25,180
That is... so true.
328
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:26,820
- Refill?
- Oh, yes, please.
329
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,680
But don't put your fingers in it.
330
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:30,800
Okay.
331
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:33,520
Who's a good girl? Hi.
332
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:35,440
- Yes.
- Can I help you?
333
00:13:35,450 --> 00:13:37,040
Oh.
334
00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:38,200
Hey there. Tobias Anders.
335
00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:40,570
Sounds even faker when
you say it out loud.
336
00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:42,620
Uh, sorry. I just came
by to check on a woman
337
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:43,740
who works here. Joy.
338
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:45,080
Yeah, I know what her name is.
339
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,460
- Oh, she's doing okay?
- She's alive and well,
340
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,037
so, let's keep it that way.
341
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,580
Oh, when she stopped responding,
342
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,629
I started wondering, what if
something's wrong, you know?
343
00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:54,743
Yeah, well, all is good.
344
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,120
So, let's move along.
345
00:13:56,140 --> 00:13:57,900
Yeah, yeah.
346
00:13:57,930 --> 00:14:00,980
A catch like Joy has
her pick of the litter,
347
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,425
and I barely passed Harvard Law.
348
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:05,069
Mostly because I was touring
with my string quartet,
349
00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:06,920
but whatever.
350
00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:09,080
Take a hint, Tobias.
351
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:12,393
- Anyways, have a good day.
- Hey.
352
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,187
How did you know where Joy works?
353
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:16,219
Oh, she had posted some
pictures of herself at work,
354
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,440
kinda like...
355
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:19,320
That does kinda look like her.
356
00:14:19,340 --> 00:14:21,580
She had that sign in the background.
357
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:25,060
Thought we had a connection,
but... I guess not.
358
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:33,373
Okay, okay. Until 2005...
359
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:35,199
Lemme guess, white wine,
360
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,520
- vodka tonic.
- Uh, nope.
361
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:38,723
I'm more of an old-fashioned gal.
362
00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:41,005
Drinks-wise, not other things-wise.
363
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,947
Good to know.
364
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:46,469
Columella, yes, it's a tie.
365
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,120
Ooh, I love maraschino cherries.
366
00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:49,889
Would you mind giving me a couple extra?
367
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,143
More.
368
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:56,059
- You may have a problem...
- A barstool!
369
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:59,200
I haven't sat on one of these
since they outlawed cigarettes!
370
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,580
Oh, here's an easy one.
371
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,480
What is added to gin
372
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,987
- to make pink gin?
- Gatorade?
373
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,448
- Lemonade? Grenadine!
- Ooh! Bitters!
374
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:07,740
Shans for the win!
375
00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:09,409
Oh, yeah, up top!
376
00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:13,019
Maybe the rest of us would have a shot
377
00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:16,000
if all the questions weren't
about booze and partying.
378
00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:17,590
Write what you know!
379
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,852
Not that booze and partying
is all she knows.
380
00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:21,119
Oh, that's okay, sweetie.
381
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,340
We love you no matter how many
times you puke on the doorstep.
382
00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:26,009
Okay, that's it. I'm taking five.
383
00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:27,385
Game's not over yet.
384
00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:29,400
She gets her mood swings
from her father's side.
385
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:30,560
I'll talk to her.
386
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:33,420
Nikki!
387
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,340
You need to take her home.
388
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,649
I haven't even finished my drink.
389
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:37,979
She's ruining everything.
390
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,980
Nikki, come on. You made
a commitment to Fergus.
391
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,230
I didn't even wanna do this,
392
00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:43,399
but you bullied me into it and
now Peggy's bullying me out of it.
393
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,280
Okay, look. I know the
situation isn't ideal,
394
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,680
but you're 30... something years old,
395
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,400
and you need to tell
your mom how you feel.
396
00:15:49,420 --> 00:15:51,019
A little bit of honesty might go farther
397
00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:53,495
- than the eye rolls.
- Okay, fine.
398
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,788
And excuse my French,
but you need to grow a pair.
399
00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:56,980
I said fine.
400
00:15:57,910 --> 00:15:59,167
Peg, we need to talk.
401
00:16:00,180 --> 00:16:02,180
Oh, I'm so sorry. You were right.
402
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:06,000
- The super-stalkers are everywhere.
- No, no. I was projecting.
403
00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:07,600
You got a date with a hottie
404
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:09,177
and I got radio silenced.
405
00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:10,860
I made a huge mistake.
406
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,848
Or, is there an opportunity
here that we can salvage?
407
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:16,309
Oh, I'd prefer we stay co-workers.
408
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:18,020
No... no.
409
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,380
Tobias?
410
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:22,649
Hi.
411
00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,984
- I'm here to see Joy.
- Yeah, this is Joy.
412
00:16:24,990 --> 00:16:26,861
Oh, my God.
413
00:16:26,870 --> 00:16:29,030
Joy's a veterinarian. Who's this?
414
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,610
I'm a catfish.
415
00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:34,980
- What?
- Uh, you just got me so worried
416
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,069
about my match potential,
417
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:38,680
- I used pictures that weren't me.
- Oh, Joy.
418
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,500
But you said you saw the sign?
419
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,669
Wait... whose pics did you use?
420
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,120
Lara's.
421
00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:46,260
She's the coolest,
prettiest person I know,
422
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,424
other than my sister, but
she's a nightmare, so...
423
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:49,639
I thought your sister was younger.
424
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,180
- She is.
- Sorry, who's Lara?
425
00:16:52,190 --> 00:16:55,139
The veterinarian that we're...
that you're pining after.
426
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,182
"Pining" is strong.
427
00:16:56,190 --> 00:16:58,331
Mmm, you showed up at her work.
428
00:16:58,340 --> 00:16:59,780
I'm so sorry.
429
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,260
You're clearly a nice guy
with super cute dimples,
430
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,233
but I wasted your time.
431
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,479
Just when I thought online dating
432
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,520
couldn't get any worse,
it sinks a notch lower.
433
00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:09,700
Hey.
434
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,560
You may have a face that women dream of
435
00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:13,320
and Joy may not be the sophisticated,
436
00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:15,340
gazelle-like queen that Lara is,
437
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:19,340
but Joy is a warm, bright,
hardworking person
438
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:21,240
that anyone would be thrilled to date.
439
00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:23,126
I deal with enough liars in court.
440
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:25,091
Ugh, we get it. You're a lawyer!
441
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,720
And my moms are on a rowing
team with Marnie McBean.
442
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:30,675
So... we all have things
we could brag about.
443
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,360
I was also pre-med.
444
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:34,762
- Oh, is the real Lara around?
- No.
445
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:36,970
Okay.
446
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:43,313
I'm so sorry for getting
you wrapped up in all this.
447
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,439
It's fine.
448
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,760
It's not.
449
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:47,734
I lied to you, and to him.
450
00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:49,443
Everybody lies.
451
00:17:49,450 --> 00:17:52,030
Heck, I lied and it didn't
even get me a match.
452
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,320
I never won the orienteering cup.
453
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:56,800
I came second.
454
00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:58,580
And there were only two of us.
455
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,163
And the winner beat me by an hour.
456
00:18:00,170 --> 00:18:01,414
At least we came clean.
457
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:03,124
Okay, an hour and 23 minutes.
458
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:05,290
Wow.
459
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:07,690
And one of my eyebrows
was completely burnt off,
460
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:10,670
but it didn't matter 'cause I
just swiped the hair to one side.
461
00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:13,343
Sorry, am I rambling?
462
00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:15,600
Yeah. I mean, uh, no.
463
00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:18,556
It sounds great, I just...
We need to get started.
464
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,058
I could cover for her.
465
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:22,940
- Really?
- Yeah. I'm no Nikki Bernard,
466
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,690
but I did sing the national anthem
467
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,940
at a St. John's Ice Caps game once.
468
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,153
I have the recording.
469
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,080
Oh, Lainey's gonna start
belting out Mellencamp.
470
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,319
Can you get up there?
471
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,500
Yes.
472
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:36,000
Hello, McKibbin's!
473
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:38,100
How's everyone doin'?
474
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:39,661
Um...
475
00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:43,620
Shannon here to keep
this trivia train a-movin'.
476
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,083
All aboard!
477
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:48,603
Oh, and a round of applause
for ya boy, Fergus,
478
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:50,560
a vision in flannel.
479
00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:55,100
Uh, open up dem ears, 'cause
here's the next Q for you.
480
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:57,320
Aww. Complete this Love Actually quote.
481
00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:59,600
- "To me, you are... "
- Unbelievable.
482
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,073
The correct answer is "perfect,"
483
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,740
but half points for ballpark.
484
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,560
Oh, my God, Nikki! Get up here.
485
00:19:04,570 --> 00:19:06,053
I can't believe you.
486
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:07,772
First you invite my mortal enemy...
487
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,523
Her mom. She means her mom.
488
00:19:09,530 --> 00:19:11,989
Who I sent home, by the way, and
now you're stealing my questions.
489
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:14,487
- You got them off the Internet.
- No, I researched them.
490
00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:15,989
But of course you didn't notice.
You've been too busy
491
00:19:15,990 --> 00:19:17,156
flirting with Fergie.
492
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,700
It's Fergus.
493
00:19:18,710 --> 00:19:21,420
PS: he's taken a vow of celibacy
494
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,788
since maxing out on ayahuasca
in Peru, so good luck.
495
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:25,285
I told you that in confidence.
496
00:19:25,286 --> 00:19:26,980
I think that's really admirable.
497
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,760
- Wow.
- I mean, whatevs. I'm here for my cuz!
498
00:19:29,780 --> 00:19:32,220
- Can we get back to trivia?
- Oh, my God,
499
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,783
hold your horses.
500
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:35,383
Oh, that's a good one!
501
00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:36,920
How many horse actors did they use
502
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:39,721
in the 2003 snorefest Seabiscuit?
503
00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:41,120
Ooh! Oh!
504
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,190
If you're looking for Fergross,
he's downstairs.
505
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,779
But don't try to help
him change the kegs.
506
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,611
It makes him feel emasculated.
507
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,947
Well, lucky for him I'm looking for you.
508
00:19:57,950 --> 00:19:59,615
I'm not gonna make out with you.
509
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:03,200
Nikki, I'm sorry I got a little
carried away at the flirt station,
510
00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,747
but Fergus isn't what I'm
gonna remember about today.
511
00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:07,290
He is pretty forgettable.
512
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:11,120
What I'm gonna remember is
watching you crush trivia.
513
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:12,760
- It was okay.
- You were amazing,
514
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:15,465
and I'm just sorry I didn't give you
the heads up about your mom.
515
00:20:15,470 --> 00:20:17,460
That's okay. I'm putting
my drinks on her card,
516
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,135
- so it works out.
- Right.
517
00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:20,720
Thanks for the help with the kegs,
518
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:22,100
but I didn't need it.
519
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,100
Oh, I've changed a few in my day.
520
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,260
Worked at a diner called
the Sweet Potato.
521
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,603
Ha! Had some pretty wild
summers there, I'll tell you.
522
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:31,109
Oh, my God, what are
you still doing here?
523
00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:33,020
Oh, well, I walked it
off, like you said,
524
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,500
but I didn't wanna go home
without giving the star
525
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,340
her opening night bouquet.
526
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,540
- Wool coasters?
- They're crochet scrubbies,
527
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,560
great for dry skin...
not that you have any.
528
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:44,744
- You don't.
- We all know I do, so you're both lying.
529
00:20:44,750 --> 00:20:47,121
It's a nice gesture.
530
00:20:47,130 --> 00:20:49,449
Well, thanks for the scrubbies.
531
00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:50,792
They're cute.
532
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,009
Well, the pink one really
matches the shower cap
533
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:54,780
- that I made you.
- I said they were cute.
534
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,260
Okay.
535
00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:58,132
She'll come around.
536
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:00,800
Yeah, I just worry about her sometimes.
537
00:21:00,820 --> 00:21:02,440
But she was great, wasn't she?
538
00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:03,620
She was!
539
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,849
Reminds me of a talent show I
did when I was working at...
540
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:07,599
I swear to God, please
don't say the Sweet Potato.
541
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,100
It was the jewel in the
Port Dalhousie crown!
542
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,854
Oh, my God, can you both please go?
543
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:14,960
- Fine. Bye, Fergus.
- Bye, Fergus.
544
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:17,060
What a flirt, huh?
545
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,680
Who knows what woulda happened
after a second spritzer?
546
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:20,999
Probably nothing.
547
00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:28,260
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
40743
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