All language subtitles for 1wedsedfcedfvdz

YESTERDAY

Have a nice journey, sir!

Hold on! That one is mine!

He's crazy!

But Dad!

Are you always leaving?
I always find him around.

Guys, the train to Empoli
is leaving from platform three.

- To platform three!
- Come, professor.

TODAY

- Here you are.
- Thanks.

- What's going on?
- Oh, God!

AL MY FRIENDS
PART 2

No, look, you can't park
here in the graveyard.

- SUPERCAZZORA BREMATURATA ?
- Uh?

- I mean, premature supercazzola.
- I don't understand.

- With unchapeling to the right.
- Ah, the chapels!

They're there, on the right.
But you can't park here.

I mean, an eye of privilege,
as if it were antani for you.

- Tomb inspector.
- Inspector, what are you talking about?

- Inspector... - Inspector?!
- ... with will-o'-the-wisps.

- And how long are you staying?
- Fiftain or seven. - Ah...

In the meanwhile,
trinity confraternity quick wipe.

Ah, a quick wipe...

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- How much for the yellow ones?
- One thousand five hundred.

- One thousand five hundred?
- Yes! - And these...

this bunch of daisies?
- One thousand.

- one thousand liras, gosh!
- Eh, we can't make it less.

And those lilies,
how much are twelve?

- Six thousand.
- Fuck you!

Shit!

Director: Mario Monicelli

Hey, Sassaroli, come out!

Professor, don't be a fool.

You are a fool!

- Melandri, I was not saying that to you.
- But I were

Didn't you have to sell encyclopedias
in the countryside today?

Sure, to the chicken.

Didn't you have a report in Lucca?

He's also here, isn't he?

He called me, he said:
"What are you up to today?" And I said: "Nothing".

He answered: "That's ok,
I also got a Caesarean".

Oh, Mascetti.

Ah!

I was passing by.

Uhm.

Guys, why do we have to feel ashamed?

To remember the anniversary
of a friend is not a crime

In fact, I say the opposite.
Who is not here today...

...and I don't name names, but I'm
telling him when I see him,

...has a cuckold dad, and as a consequence
a slutty mom. Oh!

You shouldn't offend mom and dad,
they also live here

...and could hear you.
We should come more often.

If you expect his wife and his son to come...

- This is not a tomb.
It's a pigsty. - Here.

Take that.

[And here we are,
like four fools...]

[...but with this friendship that lasts
since a long time ago, even after death...]

[...and despite all the differences
between us.]

[Professor Sassaroli,
renowned clinician and famous surgeon.]

[Rambaldo Melandri,
architect of the municipality, not elected...]

[...but for a handful of votes,
to the councillorship for public works.]

[Guido Necchi, owner of the
restaurant bar of the same name.]

[and myself, Count Raffaello
Mascetti, whom I don't even know...]

[...how to define. All united
by unspoken rules:]

[...the right to make fun of each other
the wish for laughter...]

[...for having fun, and the difficult taste
for not taking ourselves ever seriously.]

- Look, what a nice widower!
- I'm going.

- No, why you? I'm going.
- no, we toss for it!

No, I've seen him first.
He's mine.

[to his adored Adelina, the inconsolable Paolo]

Excuse me, do we know each other?

You don't, but I do. Adelina
often told me about you, Paolo.

Are you a relative from Crotone?

Way more than a relative

Adelina really loved you, you know?

Excuse me, but you...
Who are you?

The name doesn't matter.
Now, before death...

...we have only understanding
and forgiveness. We both...

...loved her,
and she loved us both.

< Me, more physically,
more carnally.

You more in a spiritual sense, Paolo.

What are you saying?

You were...

Adelina was...

- That's why my sorrow is like yours.
- Is that possible?

We are brothers in sorrow, Paolo.

(crying) No, it's impossible.

Adelina,
Adelina, you did that!

- But where? When?
- When?

- It seems to me that I always loved her
- It was...

...when I went to that electrical
engineering course in Germany, wasn't it?

You should never go to Germany, Paolo.

< But let me hug you, Paolo.

< I wish only one thing:
to become your friend...

...and to get old next to you...

...remembering our beloved Adelina,

...incomparable wife and lover!

Incomparable?

Incomparable slut!
Slut! Bitch!

I don't allow you to insult
my Adelina!

What are you talking about?
You pig! She's not yours!

< This is not a civilized reaction.
- I kill you!

Stop that!

- Hey, you disturb the sleep
of our poor dead! -Shame on you!

Shame my balls!
I would like to see you in my place!

This slut, ugly bitch! Thief!

Well! Well!

Take that, slut! Fuck you.
I'm going away.

I don't harbour bitterness, Paolo.

- Take that!
< I forgive you.

Do you want him to come back?

if it wasn't for us
he would have butted you.

- That's because I did it well.

- You did too much.
- Too explicit, obnoxious.

- It's a style.
- I preferred Perozzi...

...he was finer, more delicate

usually, all ended with a hug.

< Eh... he was unique.

In funerals, deaths, burials,
he was a master.

Do you remember when he made
the baker's wife die?

to fuck her better.

< Perozzi was great.

< It was around 1966, I think.
More or less.

[At that time Perozzi
was already news editor.]

- Good morning.
- Good morning, mr Perozzi.

- Tomorrow you're on strike
- Am I?

- Yes, it's written here.
- thank god.

[He got out of the newspaper's
at the time when bakers opened.]

- Giorgio?
> Yes?.

- What are you doing?
> Here I am.

- Guess who's there.
- What did the Pope do?

Let's go, we'll read the newspaper afterwards.

[then, when he had finished
with the wife...]

[...he went to the husband
with whom...]

[...he liked to have a funny relationship.]

Do you have croissants, Antonio?

< I always have them, mister Perozzi,
still warm.

Indeed, still warm
ready made.

I will take two more
for my wife, please.

I take them from here,
straight out of the oven.

You stayed till dawn even today,
mr Perozzi?

- He must be really tired
- Oh, especially in the lower back.

But I'm already used to it.
If I went home earlier

...it would seem to me that
I'm losing out on the best part.

- Here you are, mr Perozzi
Thank you.

- Here you are, mr Antonio.
- Have a nice day!

[I told him.
be careful, Perozzino, listen to me...]

[...I am competent, an authority
on the matter...]

[...and your wife is not like mine.
Yours is a beast.]

Good morning, family.
Hi, Laura. Hi, Luciano.

Oh, what a long night, guys!

Back in the days
at 22:30 the town went to bed.

The news were done
and good night.

Now everybody is awake,
going out to destroy stuff

One robs, one snatches,
one puts himself on fire, one drugs himself...

another one kills himself...

News come a mile a minute
And then compose, recompose...

...make titles, remake them...
lay out, do it again...

You know how it goes,
the day comes.

Where?

At the newspaper. Where else?

I called the newspaper tonight

...Luciano had a sore throat
and I wanted you to go to the pharmacy

- And you were already gone.
-Ah! Poor little Luciano!

- I'm sorry. Say "ah" to dad.
- I already said that to mommy!

I said that
you were gone already

Eh, it's possible.
Strange. What time?

At three.
And it's seven!

Seven? No, no,
it's quarter to seven.

It's seven!

- Go on. Look, it's quarter to seven
- Seven o'clock!

Laura, do we want to make a
tragedy for a quarter of an hour?

it's not a quarter of an hour
it's years...

...the best years of my life
that you stole from me.

What did I do?
I even passed by to buy you croissants...

- The croissants as well...

...ugly pig! You swore three times
that you were done with her...

...that it was over. Pig,
you and her too!

May she die in an accident!

Don't send accidents
'cause yours come. And then you regret that

May she die of
an accident immediately! Now!

And they had even warned me,
I didn't want to believe them

Do we have to talk
in front of the child?

Luciano should know
who is his father

...and then, there is not much to say

...I'm leaving. I go back to my parents.
This time is enough.

Come on, Laurina,
let's make peace.

Go away, boob of a liar!

Luciano, see?

Dad did everything he could

That is nothing!

Come, mum wants to bring you to
the grandparents. It's ok.

- Me? - Not me, for sure.
Come on...

...take your jacket,
don't make mum wait.

Come on, let me help you.
I'll bring it.

Laura, the child is ready.
but think again, Laura.

The child? Ah, you keep him.

- Me?
- Ah, my dear...

...too easy. You keep Luciano.
you care about him.

So that you learn what it means
to have a son.

< But Laura!
Think about him, he's innocent!

...take him with you. Luciano
needs you, his mom.

And I need calm, peace.
The peace I never had with you.

Never! Never!

- So?
- Who takes me to school?

Didn't you say you had a sore throat?

Mum made it up to call you

Got it, we're not sleeping today.

[First, he had to move to the day shift
at the newspaper...]

[...in order not to
leave the child alone at night.]

- Dad!
- Holy shit!

< It doesn't count!
- Why? It does count!

He pushed my elbow,
Jesus Christ!

- It counts, it counts.
- Should I score it?

- Two less, score it.
- No, score my balls.

See what you did?
What do you want?

I want to go home.
You have to take me home.

Home? That early?
What do you want to do there?

Sleep. It's late
and I'm sleepy.

I'm not. Go watch the film
on the TV.

I don't like it.

Then there's a juke box, the flipper.

It's the land of toys. Go, go.

I'm not Pinocchio. And tomorrow
I have to get up early...

...I have to study history and natural
sciences. Study is study!

He's right, poor child. He's been wandering
from a chair to another

...for three hours. Don't you see
he's tired?

Then, Carmen, prepare a double
coffee for the child

so that we can finish the game.
- I suggest an intravenous injection

I think you're all mad

Isn't that easy, mr Perozzi?
To be a dad and a husband?

...with a housewife, easy!

All right, let's go to bed early then

- Where did you put your jacket
- No! That's impossible.

You go on

- No, I have to go
< Where?

I have to go, I'm busy.

Tonight and tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Did you forget the appointment
I took for the quintet?

We can make a quartet since
Perozzi has the child...

...but not a trio!

What's up tomorrow?

It's saturday the 30th.
Don't you remember.

Oh, shit!

Even if it were the day after
that it would be the same.

You're over with evenings out.

Holy fuck of his mother.

How can I do? Christ!
I can't renounce to everything for you!

Got it? Fuck me, let's go.

[The yearly prize of the Polyphonic
Academy in Arezzo...]

[...is the most important goal
for a choir.]

[We had prepared well
to present ourselves...]

[...in front of that fine audience
and very strict committee...]

[...in the best conditions,
concerning shape and synergy.]

#But fuck zum.#

#But fu...#

#But fuck zum. Zum.#

#Bom, bom, bom, but fuck zum.#

#Bom, bom, bom, but fuck zum.#

#O slut,
you betray me...#

#...you say: "I come"
and instead you piss.#

#But fuck zum.#

#Bom, bom, bom, but fuck zum.#

#Who fucks screws
yes, yes he screws...#

#...who screws fucks,
yes, yes fucks.#

< I don't know what's going on.

- #Ahhhh...#
< ...call the police!

< Send them away!

< Go away!

< Out!
Shame on you!

Let's go! Let's go!

Wait for me!

Oh, the kid!

[The life of Perozzi with the kid
was hell...]

[...so that, instead of Necchi's bar,
we used to gather at his place...]

[...to help him.
Everybody except Melandri...]

[...who was a fugitive since a while
Too bad...]

[...'cause with four players
we could play scopone.]

- A nice jack!
- A nice scopa.

What the fuck, already scopa.
How many jacks did you have?

Many.

Many? I have two, look!

> Silence please! I can't sleep!

- plus 2 it's 4, asshole.
- It's ok, then it's safe for later...

Make a scopa now, can you?

We can't play like that, guys!

You show him the cards!
Then of course he's safe now!

> Dad!
- Dad my balls!

I'm not playing anymore.
We can't play like that.

It's not funny to argue
in a low voice.

Kids are kids.

This is a strange one.
I've never seen any like him.

You know what?
He never laughs.

Like his mother. He doesn't
have a sense of humour.

In fact he has,
how do you call the opposite?

The sense of breaking my balls.

That's it. I can't stand him.
I can't stand him.

Of course, if he were a dog
it would be better.

A dog is better,
you keep it in a corner

...you say "quiet", and it's over

The most you have to do is taking it out.

Then, if it's annoying, you kick him
and leave him on the highway.

You really can't compare.

If you really want there are places
where they keep them.

How do you call them? Kennels?

They exist for kids as well.

And they call them kiddels?

They call them boarding schools

A boarding school,
how did I not think about that...

It's the solution.
Who knows a good one?

- Yellow pages!
< Shh!

- Yellow pages. Schools.
On the shelf.

< Expensive places, you know.

I can offer up to...

...100 000 a month
even more, 150 000.

Hold on! Awarded.
I take him for 150 000.

Ah, oops,
here you are, finally!

< See, she's aunt Alice...

...and she is Melisenda, Mela.

Hi, little one.

pleased to meet you

And that's yours...
Come, I show you.

...your castle.
Here you are...

...you will sleep here,
an elevated and well ventilated position.

There's even a little window.
I will sleep in the middle and aunt Alice...

...will sleep in the bottom,
instead of the kid.

Don't you have other rooms?

< What other rooms? One room
with compartments, like in Japan.

See, that's the wardrobe...

...with a closet and a wall mirror

You've seen the night
section up to now,

but we also have the daytime section.

< I'll show you the kitchen

Here it is, a wonderful kitchen.

Voilà, everything is rationally
distributed, like in Japan.

where do I make my homework?

In the study

That's not a serious table.
I need more space.

He's right, little one.

- Lello, here, take her.
- Come - here you are

That's it. I will finish
tomorrow with the ironing

In the meanwhile I will prepare
the dinner

Would you like a nice frittata?

With spinach?

< No, only potatoes and chestnuts

Well, chestnuts...
Only potatoes?

It fills up and keeps up.
Do we have eggs?

- Yes, two. - Not really enough.
We should have a little reinforcement

Silence, please!

- I go make a call.
- All right

- And I buy a little reinforcement
for the dinner. < All right.

Is she quiet?

< Almost dead. She's almost two
and she doesn't walk nor speak.

Ah.

Oh, we made it even today.

So, Lucianino, how do you feel,
lonely without your dad?

We're even too many
for my taste.

I called your dad.
He told me to check...

...your homework. - I finished them.

Good, then I wait for you
in the study

Light.

Let's see.
Is it this one? The last one?

"Florence, 5 october 1966.
Today, the 5th of october

"I moved to the house
of a friend of my dad.

What's that?

It's the diary our teacher wants us
to keep at the end of every day

- Nice, a smart teacher.

"he says he is a count

"...but he lives
in a japanese-style basement...

"...cold and wet,
with no phone...

"...no hot water
and the toilet with the big feet.

"And a little cooker where his wife
prepared a little frittata

"...with two eggs,
which we ate in three.

"Plus a 'reinforcement', like he calls it,
of nine olives...

"...fifty grams of cheese
and a quarter of wine.

"All, board and lodging,
for 150 000 liras...

"...that looks to me like a robbery.
Even though he, to appear like a 'Count'...

"...calls a 'castle'
a thing with three rooms

Coffins!

"with three coffins.

"Where I will have to sleep
with his wife...

"...a woman slim and perfect
like her name, Alice...

"...and the daughter Mela,
who is luckily not annoying...

"...because she is handicapped,
unable to speak and walk at this age

".... I say that this count
is either a great liar...

"...or he's reduced himself
to desperation.

Bravo. Ten, cum laude.

Children and fools,
who makes them keeps them.

How?

I'm giving you your child back.

Boss, Cecchi called from Prato,
a kidnapping.

- Send Porcilai, with a photographer.
- Good.

But I gave him to you not
even 24 hours ago.

It was enough for him to
humiliate my house...

...tell me that I starved to death
and destroy my family!

But I gave you an account.

And I give it back.

Look. It's all written
in the book. See?

"Give 50 000 to Perozzi
on the first occasion.

And what should I do with him?

Do you want an advice?
Reconcile with his mother.

Because with him you have
no salvation. He sees everything...

...notices everything and writes everything.
- I'm sorry, serious news:

...a bus fell in the Ombrone.
There should be 7 victims...

...and 11 injured. It seems that the
driver was not in the best condition for driving.

[And then the intuition,
the ingenuity that made Perozzi...]

[...a superior being,
we have to admit.]

- How many victims did you say?
Seven? - Seven. - Let's make it eight.

- Here it says seven.
- Give it to me, I'll take care. - Ok.

Hi, Pirillo.

Who's that? Saint mother!

Stay quiet, Pirillo.
It's me. Don't you recognize me?

Quiet!

Pirillo, quiet.

What's the matter?

- Quiet.
- I have something serious to tell you.

- Luciano?
< No, he's at school. He's fine.

So what?

Should we talk outside,
under the rain, through the bars.

- As if I were a criminal.
- You said that.

All right.

Then read.

Why, is it someone we know?

- Read the list of the victims.
- "Franco Dominici, 50, Siena...

"...Rolando Evangelista, 11,
Grosseto, Ernestina Freni...

"...48, Chiusi, Anita Esposito,
34, Firenze, Giulio Bertacca...

Anita Esposito, that one?

You will be happy now.

I never wished her death.

No, you said only: "May she
die in an accident".

But it's those things you say
in difficult moments.

Yes, but now she's dead.

Just a tip: next time be
more careful when you speak.

Now, we should just
forget the past.

Unfortunately. And go on
with a normal life.

If you want. I don't ask for me,
I speak for Luciano.

The kid needs you.
He's always looking for you.

[It was genius,
nothing to say.]

Finally!

Until I had that asshole around
I couldn't move.

Luckily now his mother
is back.

How did you manage?

Do you really want to know, rascal?

I convinced her that everything
was over, that for me...

...you were dead.
- Right, did you see that?

- Crowns, flowers, 11 telegrams.
- Ah yes.

I noticed. What happened?

I don't know. My name
was on the newspaper.

- Maybe a joke.
- How? Who could make such...

...a bad joke?
People are not so mean.

Only an asshole
could make such a thing.

No, must be someone with
the same name, a coincidence.

It happens all the time, you know.

Know what?

The idea of making love
to a corpse is not bad after all.

I feel an attack of necrophilia.

[And that's how the perozzian genius
put everything back...]

[...and life could go on like before.]

[Except for Melandri,
who had disappeared...]

[...since he was trying to have
a very, very different one.]

Hey guys, bad weather!
It's always raining.

It has been raining for how long?

It must be at least a week.

If not more, isn't it?

Melandri, you don't show up
since 4 weeks, and you ask about the weather?

Guys...

...on saturday I'm getting baptized.

What?

You don't say anything?

I'm at a loss for words.

I have them, but it's
better that I don't speak.

I want to throw up.

Your poor dad will turn in his grave

My father was not a believer,
but he was a civilized man.

He didn't baptize me
so that I was free to choose.

"When you will have the age of wisdom",
he said.

Age of wisdom, 48.

It's never too late.

- The important thing is to get
faith. - Eh! - Eh.

I was always different

All other children had a
guardian angel, and I didn't

- So I'm getting baptized
< In the Jordan?

I tell you. Don't make fun of me

...just to make me angry.
Anyway I'm not getting angry anymore

I will just turn the other cheek.

How could you reduce yourself to that?

I met an angel.

Oh!

A male or female angel?

Angels don't have a gender.

Well, does it have boobs or not?

In the physical, human appearance...

Yes, she has the breast,
but that's not our relationship.

Noemi is a saint creature,
full of faith, full of devotion...

...sister of a pious priest
she took my hand...

...and guided me out of the tunnel.

Guys, are you even listening?
He fell in love with a bigoted woman

And to get her, he also wants to
be churchy. We now you!

Go, go, Melandrone, but make us
the favour of not showing up...

...until you fucked her.

And when you're back in the tunnel.

Guys, guys,
I have only you.

- Who wants to be the godfather?
- Me! Me!

I served at the mass for four years

< I have the right dress
- Let's toss it up

- Break shot
- All right. Break shot.

Ready!

[The privilege of being the godfather
of Melandri... ]

[...was awarded for a break shot.
Perozzi won by a few millimetres...]

[...that we had to measure with
a gauge.]

She is my godmother,
Noemi Bernocchi. My friends.

- Professor Sassaroli.
- Pleased to meet you.

- Count Mascetti.
- My pleasure.

- Barista Necchi. - Nice to meet you.
- Perozzi, I'm the godfather.

come, come, father.

- Don Angelo Bernocchi.
- My brother.

- Nice to meet you.

Don Angelo Bernocchi!

< Reverend Bernocchi!

Ah, I'm sorry. Tapioca tharapy...

...as if it were antani
the premature supercazzola...

...cum dominus vobiscum blinde?
- I beg you pardon?

Therapy with the supercazzola with
unchapeling to the right or to the left?

- No. The right chapel is on the left.
- Antipodes!

- But you didn't need to do that!

- Just a thought
- a souvenir for this holy day.

- You know, in these situations...

...you never know what to give,
so you end up with the classics.

- Do you like the dummy?
- I also got a classic

A plate with small cutlery
and a small glass

Look, if you don't like the duck
we can change:

...they also have Bambi and Pinocchio
- No, the duck's ok!

My mother embroidered it
Ah, sorry!

It's for you, Melandri.

I'm sorry for them, they always
want to be funny...

- Today is a merry day.
- God helps happy people.

- Come don Angelo, I dress you up.
-

- Thank you anyway.
We have many poor children

- Godmother! what did you buy as a present?
- A feeding bottle?

- No, a chain with a medal
- Ah I see.

[It was a really
touching ceremony...]

[...with noteworthy moments.]

- Rambaldo, do you renounce Satan?
- I do renounce.

Amen.

Do you renounce the temptations of the evil
and its pomp?

- You renounce boobs?
- Pomp, pomp!

I do renounce!

Amen.

The godfathers shall put a hand on
the shoulder of the catechumen.

Of the catechumen!

- I don't know what that means.
- That's me. That's me.

I didn't know, I'm sorry.
He looked more catechumen.

Sorry.

Is that ok?

I baptize you,
in the name of the Father...

...of the Son...

...and of the Holy Spirit
- Amen.

#Fairest daughter of love,#

#I am a slave to your charms;#

#with but a single word you could#

#relieve my every pain.#

#Pa pappero pa pappero
pa pappero pa pappa.#

#Pa papapappero pappero pappa,
pa papapappero pappero pappa.#

[We left him there, raptured.]

[We got fewer and fewer news,
but every time more depressing.]

[He went along with an ancient
pious brotherhood...]

[...that worked for deeds of
humility and charity.]

Mr Melandri, you're already there,
could you also cut my nails?

[Until, in november,
I got some tasty news...]

[...and I told them.]
- Professor, the phone.

- Is that the right moment?
- It's a matter of life or death.

It's a man called Mascetti.
- Put him through.

Yes, tell me. A roman centurion?
No, no...

...but I'll find it. But why?

Ah, yes, yes, I'm coming, but
not as a centurion, as a senator. See you!

Take everything out, quick!

Take him back to the bed,
the operation is postponed.

- But he's already anesthetized
- It's a matter of life or death.

Make the exams again, then
we'll see. Sister? Sister!

...one of those big bed sheets
- Green?

No, not green! White, white!

#Lord, you are my shepherd:#

#...I lack nothing.#

#He makes me lie down in green pastures,#

#...he leads me beside quiet waters...#
- There he is! He's coming!

- The enemy of the Jews!
- Ecce homo.

Noemi's also there.
She is Mary.

< No, not Mary, don't you see?
She is Magdalene.

- See? - Who are you?

Who am I? I'm Judas?
Don't you see?

I told you everything.
I even have the bag...

...with thirty denarii,
the rope to hang myself.

You, but you should be already dead
by now.

No, I'm not even regretful.

And I throw stones!
Let's stone him!

< Let's whip him!

< To death!

- Ouch! Ouch!
- Take that!

Massacre! Spit him! He is a scoundrel!

- Ouch! Are you serious?
- Dog of an infidel!

Yes, kick him in the ass!

Who's that?

It's you!

It hurts. Stop, you faggots!

Shut up and turn the other cheek!

Take that, fool!

Come on, spit on him!

- You are sons of a...
- Don't offend the mother!

...the mother! - Otherwise
we take revenge on yours!

Take that!

Take that! To death!

< Show some respect!

< Madam, he's not Jesus,
he's a random fool!

- Let's not exaggerate!
- No, Magdalene...

...he has to drink the whole sour goblet
- Take the cross...

...On the shoulders. Come on!
< Come on! Come on!

...It's the Calvary!
It's not a field trip!

- Go on! - Whip him!
- Traitor!

Gentle!

- Come on, lift him up!
- Gently? No mercy!

Come down if you can!
Quick, the sponge with vinegar!

I'll take care of it!

What sponge?

< What are you doing? That's not vinegar,
it's dirty water. No!

< Drink! Drink, clean your
soul with this water.

< Give me the spear.

Ouch! Guys, please,
it really hurts, stop!

Let's go! Let's go! It's raining!

- What, you leave me here?
< Who cares!

Take me down!

Ohhh!

Rambaldo! Rambaldo!

Are you ok?

- O heaven!
- Good Lord, what a face hit!

Come on!
Quick, you two!

Wait for me!

Hey, I'm coming!

[And Jesus said:]

Would you come to my place
for a candlelight dinner?

[Magdalene answered]

Yes, but at my place, not yours.

> Another cognac?
> No, thanks, it's enough.

I have been a sinner.

But now that I am completely
out of it, I can say it:

...sometimes sin...

...has something great in it.

Maybe it's true, but maybe...

...that's the reason it's
even greater to renounce it.

Yes, yes, yes, of course...

...but without sin
where would be...

...the sublime beauty
of repentance?

Rambaldo, it's late. Go home!

- Late?
- It's dawn.

Yes, it's the dawn.
But it's still raining.

Maybe it's a sign.

It looks like someone up there
wants that we stay together

Oh God!

The light is out!

Another sign. They want us to
stay together and in the dark!

Don't swear!

Go home, Rambaldo.
I'll give you an umbrella.

It was only a joke, a joke!
You don't trust me anymore.

I'm not a beast anymore.
I'm a christian.

Yes, Rambaldo.

But the flesh is weak,
and I don't trust neither you, nor me.

I trust Mary. She will protect me!

And I trust my guardian angel.

Your navel is a rounded goblet
that never lacks blended wine.

Your graceful legs are like jewels,

What are you saying?

It's the Bible!

Your waist is a mound of wheat
encircled by lilies.

Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle.

- Your nipples...
- Stop, Rambaldo!

It's the Bible,
it's not Playboy!

But there they speak about
two holy newlywed

We will also marry afterwards!

- Show me your fawns!
I beg you, I beg you. - No, no.

- Show me your fawns!
- Rambaldo, please. No!

Yes! Then we repent!

- Don't worry!
- No, no, no!

- Please, Rambaldo. No!
- My love, how beautiful!

Save me Lord! Have mercy!
Save me Lord!

> All this water in the house!
- Take me away from his arms.

> Oh Mary, the house is flooded!
- Excuse me for a moment. - Yes, save me!

- Excuse me for a little while!
> What's up?

> Run! Run, the dresser
is floating!

> Quick! Come down!

The Arno has flooded the town!

Oh, merciful God,
you listened to me!

In your infinite goodness,
you saved me!

He sent the deluge,
O Lord, I thank you!

Say thank you, Rambaldo!

You stupid!

And God, to keep you a virgin...

...drowns the whole Florence?!

Oh, God, I live at the ground floor!

I have two dressers from the 1400s,
a tapestry by Mantegna.

Ancient books! My paintings!

What are you doing?

- I'm going home!
< Rambaldo!

> Sir Count, what do you say?

We are like uphill, water
can't get up there. Don't wor--

Anita!

Anita, wake up, we're drowning!
Anita!

What's up?

Oh what a disaster!

< what a disaster!

< The flood!

< My gold! My pearls!

Ah!

My pearls!

Leave your pearls! Where are
my pants!

Put something on you, idiot!

> Anita, it's the flood, open!

Just a moment, I can't!
I'm in the toilet!

> Come down!

Anita, Anita, I'm coming!

Oh God, my husband!

Go! Anita!

Anita, you're safe!

Yes, my love, but take me away now.
Quick! Quick!

Yes, but let's save something first.

Mr Perozzi, what are
you doing here underwater?

I'm reporting for the newspaper
about the disaster.

With my jacket and my hat?

Mr Antonio...

...what's you first impression
on this tragedy?

I'll make a tragedy!

You big slut!

- It hurts! Please!
- You're a bitch!

- You're a bitch! - Help!

[An infernal mess,
a public scandal. ]

[And the wife of Perozzi knew
that the baker's wife, dead...]

[...a first time, risked death
a second time, for real.]

[And then she left Perozzi's life,
permanently.]

[Luckily taking the child with her.]

God and Mary, what a misery.

It looks like Venice.

What a tragedy, guys!

This flood flooded us inside.

Let's not exaggerate.

It took everything from me:
lover, wife and son.

It wiped out my faith, with a
dresser and two tapestries...

...twenty millions worth.
- You haven't seen my bar...

...I found four fish...

...in the coffee machine.
- And me?

I lost the castle with three
mattresses...

...a table, two chairs, three pairs
of shoes, two for men and one for women.

And my jackets, two of them.
The rest is all shortened.

< Guys, I don't feel at ease.

It's not my fault
if I'm an authority...

...a baron of medicine
with an attic and the clinic
on top of a hill

I fucked the flood
and you all

What should I do?
Should I leave?

No, guys, we have to stay
together, united.

I tell you,
it's a bad moment...

...but if we're all together
I'll get over it. - Right...

...What shall we do today?
- Water skiing!

Bravo, that's what
we needed!

That coward of his wife
didn't want to forgive him

Not even on his death bed,
do you remember?

Eh, women, I don't want
to speak badly about them...

...but some really are hard-hearted.

Guys, about women,

...I fell in love.
- Of whom?

Of someone who likes chips.

So I started to cook
them every possible way

Sticks, slices, little balls...

...she also fell in love with me.

Those who like chips
have good sex, you know?

This I don't know yet.
The key date is tomorrow.

- What day is tomorroy?
- The 15th.

Sunday!
What day is the bar closed...

...and you have to take Carmen
out for dinner and to the cinema.

Oh fuck, I forgot.
What should I do now?

I'll go in your place.

I'll bring her the chips
and plug her.

Yes, but we need to plug
my wife, otherwise...

I'll plug her.

Let's not joke about it.
It's the serious stuff in life.

Antani?
How is the supercazzola?

- What?
- Blinda.

< What should I do now?
< What does it take...

...you tell her: "Carmen, this
sunday we skip the cinema"

In Italy, the man has the power

No. Man has no power,
he does what he wants. It's different.

Ah! I play the 'rose bunch',
I never did.

That one always works!

I'll buy them. Two dozens.

No, not so many.

One is enough. Twelve.

- Scarlet red, with a long leg.
- Sure.

With this much I get
twelve dandelions!

- Take. - Now, describe us in detail...

...the girl of the potatoes

Look, they made it in the
Uffizi museum. Portrait of Mary.

Sure. Mary with an old man.

Let me see. Cute!

Too bad she has somewhat short legs

"Short woman is all a hole"

[The 'bunch of roses' is a
system I invented.]

[Very antifeminist,
but very effective...]

[...in emergency situations.]

Guido, don't hurry me!

I go out once per week,
and I like to prepare well.

I like to have you make a good impression

Who's that on sunday at this time?

Madam Carmen Necchi?

- Yes. Finally. Take.
- Thanks.

Take. It's for you.

- What's that?
- What's that?

Twelve red roses.
Look.

There are only nine, not twelve

- Nine? Why nine?
- yes.

Who sends them.

Son of a bitch.

Why do you say that,
you don't even know who he is!

I know he's a son of a bitch
if he sends you roses. Who's that?

I don't know

Then, let's read this note.
Why are you buying time?

< Open it!

- What's in there? - Nothing,
it's not even signed.

Give it to me!

With Passion

Ah, ahh. Who's that?

I swear, Guido, I don't know
anybody, I have no idea...

...of who that is.
It may be...

- A kind client.
- Yes. And he writes "with passion"...

...because maybe you put
too much pepper in the beans...

...and his ass is burning!
-Guido...

You teased him, you were a flirt...

...you were all flailing
while you served him...

...you rubbed your boobs
on him while you put...

...his jacket on. Let me go out!
Let me go out.

It's better that I leave
before I do something stupid!

What are you doing?
You don't even bring me to the cinema?

Sure, to the cinema! So that you can rub
on someone. In the dark!

But where are you going?

Where do cuckolds go?
To get drunk!

Holy shit!
They cut off the gas.

< But why? The last notice
said "in three days"...

...and it wasn't even
one month ago!

I have the bill
in the pocket of my jacket

< Hey!

< Hey!

< Are you crazy?

Don't exaggerate!
We will fix it, right?

We can't even die
in this house.

We've had worse!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

- Leave me alone! I want to die!
- What's wrong with you?

- I want to die!
- What's with death! - Leave me alone!

- What did I do?
- Help!

I got it. Then?

- And then...
- What? Uh?

What? Are you doing the
supercazzola with me?

No! I'm speaking softly.

- This pregnancy must absolutely be
interrupted. - Yes, an abortion!

- You want her to have an abortion, don't you?
- Are you crazy?

- Why? It's not a crime any more.
- Ah, right! Then let's do it immediately.

- Who's the father?
- She won't tell.

Maybe a worker. Anyway,
not someone from our class.