All language subtitles for a_los_que_aman_en

They say that through words
pain becomes more tangible.

That we can look at it
as a dark creature

all the more strange to us,
the closer we feel it.

If one of these little seeds falls ill
the rest of the organism falls ill too.

But I have always believed that the pain
that doesn't find the words
through which to be expressed

is the most cruel one, the deepest.

The most unfair.

I spent my life loving a woman
that loved another man, who did not love her

but another woman
who he was never sure loved him back.

This was a time in which
I could still look at the future

with more hope than fear.

That's not a horse, it's a dog.

That's two fishes kissing.

They kiss through their gills.
Don't they, teacher?

- A headless sheep.
- They are only clouds.

I see a man with a huge sword.
Bigger than himself.

It's a very… very pretty
and sad woman.

That one is just
like the rock by the lake.

Well, I just see clouds.

The schoolteacher will come then…

What a bother over my brother.
Of course, he'll come.

Where would he go if not?

During this length of time
in which we have been talking,

have there been any storms during which
he may have been struck by lightning?

There hasn't, has there?

And there aren't any
dangerous animals in the vicinity.

Except for myself,
according to the neighbours.

And I haven't moved
from this spot either.

Let's talk about serious matters,
my good lad.

Have you ever read
"The Divine Comedy"?

The book by Dante? No.
But I was almost about to several times.

I've devoted my life
to the study of that book.

Every day, for the last 48 years
I've memorised a verse.

Some days even two.

You must know it by heart then.

Not really. You forget everything eventually.

And it's a relief to know that each and every day
I can't remember what I knew the day before.

Who are you waiting for, you say?

The schoolteacher, your brother.

Of course… of course.

It's strange! There was a young man
here waiting for you just now.

He must have left.

- Are you waiting for me?
- Yes, I was.

I've been living for some time now at…

Yes, yes, I know where you live.

Then you know who my mother was.

I can imagine.

My wife is very ill.

All the doctors in the vicinity
have seen her and nobody can give us
a clear diagnostic.

She's been bled, they've given her potions,
and they've turned her upside down without success.

I'm sorry.

But what is it
that you want of me?

My mother told me of you.

She told me that you were
a doctor long ago.

And that I should call for you
if I ever needed you.

Armancia, your mother,
didn't tell you the whole truth.

I was an awful doctor.

And I doubt that 40 years out of practise
have improved my knowledge.

Make an effort,
try at least.

I think it's serious.

Martin…

Because that's your name, isn't it?

Sometimes a wrong intervention is worse
than no intervention at all.

It would be useless
for me to see your wife.

I'm not a doctor anymore.

My mother would have felt
very disappointed to hear that.

If I remember right, it wasn't easy
to disappoint your mother.

Good bye, then.

Are you leaving?

My brother will be back soon.

A doctor!

A charming young man,
the one that came this afternoon.

He was eager to read
"The Divine Comedy".

Is that what he told you?

He looked worried, though.

Something about his mother,
he said.

Jonás, I'm not going back to that house.

- What?
- I said I'm not going back to that house.

Who asked you to?
Tell me, who?

- You don't know how much I appreciate…
- Don't thank me.

You may regret having come to me.

Have the cook prepare
a light chicken broth with fennel

and feed it to her yourself
bit by bit.

As much as she can take.

Add a couple more logs
and heat the room.

We have to make her sweat.

My mother always told me
how you helped her and her sister
when their parents died.

I was unable to help them.

I would have given my life to, but...
No, it wasn't me.

May I ask why you
abandoned medicine?

Oh, that. Rather say
medicine abandoned me.

And why waste your time
with snotty little brats

that barely understand
what you are talking about?

Most of the time I don't understand
what my peers are talking about.

And those brats, as you call them,
ask more stimulating questions than yours.

Would you mind
if we step out to the garden?

I think you'll want to talk and…
I don't quite feel

like those old men who
like to talk about their past battles yet.

The fresh air will do me good.

And don't get nervous.

We won't know anything
concerning your wife until dawn.

I trust you.

Trust me, trust me. Yes, indeed, why not?
If you've decided to trust me, do so.

I haven't been around here
for over 30 years.

And now, what do you feel now?

Now? Nostalgia.

Nostalgia for the past pain.

Indeed, you have before you
someone who pines for sorrow.

Your mother's sister, Matilde,
used to talk about pain.

Even when she was happy.

And are you happy at last, Matilde?

What a stupid question.
You look splendid.

As if happiness had nested
in every one of your features.

Then it must be true.

I'm not dreaming this shiver
that washes over me when I wake up,
as if it said: "it's true, it's true".

- Do you love him so?
- Love him?

I feel as if you could never fit
all that which I feel for him

in the letters of that word,
should I live a thousand years.

The simple thought that something
might happen to him causes me such pain

that I think I would die
if something should come to pass.

Not in my imagination
but in truth.

When you are a child, no one tells you
that love can be so…

Devastating.

Yes. Like a thousand storms together.

Oh, doctor. Tell me that it will last forever.
Tell me that it's not a dream

or an illusion that will disappear
when I reach out to touch it.

It won't disappear.
You have to banish those fears.

- Love…
- Shhh. Oh, it's his horse.

He's coming!

Take my pulse.

Feel how it runs wild
as he comes closer.

It's true.

Won't you take mine?

Of course.

My pulse is running wild as well, isn't it?

It is a tad quick, Armancia.

Do you know why?

You have sung too much
and run a lot.

No, it's not that.
Put it close to your heart.

It's because of you.

You know, my mother married four times
and I always remember her as a happy woman.

The happiest I've ever known.

When luck is sorted out
some are given the measures

that others will lack
all their lives.

Even as a child
your mother was among the first class.

And her sister Matilde?

Matilde?

I wished for her happiness
more so than for mine.

Then, you loved her?

You loved her… She felt the same…
Did she ever know what you felt for her?

She knew, yes.

Of course, you want to know everything.
The why, how and when it began.

You want a story, don't you?

A collection of funny happenings
to tell your friends in a long night,

playing cards
in front of the fireplace.

I don't play cards anymore
and don't have any friends in the vicinity.

And you want the story anyway.

Is there anything better
than a good story?

No, I suppose not.

Let's go to the pavilion.
I think I can still find it.

Everything started…
My God, I don't even remember how long ago.

Suddenly, in the region that had
always been known for its game,

it started to mysteriously vanish.

It was also around then
when my brother,

until then a boy,
I even considered boring

because of his dull behaviour,
after a horrible accident

decided to dedicate his life
to the study of "The Divine Comedy".

But that's another story.

When the game disappeared from the region,
the local landowners grew bored.

You're telling me.

Then one of them, your grandfather,
Matilde and Armancia's father,

decided to turn this hunting pavilion
into a fencing room.

And hired for that
a renowned Italian maestro.

The maestro arrived one autumn day
accompanied by a girl whom,

during her childhood,
no one ever heard utter a word.

Apparently, her mother
had died at childbirth.

Well, I hope you'll find everything
to your liking.

The pavilion
also has some rooms

for you and your daughter
to make yourselves at home.

Is there something I can do for you?
The floor must be polished, of course.

Un specchio. A mirror.

We'll need a big mirror.
What is fencing without a mirror, monsieur?

A mirror? But of course.

Of course, a mirror.
How could I not have thought of that before.

It's unforgivable.
I'll go arrange it immediately.

[Italian:] Do you like it?

That arm is in the place of a leg.
The arm must be aimed upwards.

Only down in the moments
when we are safe,

when we feel
it is the right moment.

Feeling the moment, that's the basis
of the art of fencing.

This mirror is not here for you
to arrange your wild hair.

This mirror is intended to
help you feel the line of your body.

So that you can know what your opponent sees
when you are there.

To help you develop the coordination
between your brain and your arm.

Ah, you! The one with the Greek poses!

Do you think fencing is only
a chessgame of postures

with which to exhibit yourself
and melt the ladies' hearts?

Nothing further from this noble art
than the vain exhibition of feathers
of a peacock from the new continent.

And how was your fencing?

My father insisted that
I come to the pavilion

and he even bought me a little foil.

But… to me, fencing was very boring.

And I had my own way of getting bored.

An ogre with seven heads.

A winged horse.

My brother's face.

One day my father, who was a doctor,
was summoned to the garden house.

And since there were no clouds in the sky,
I decided to go with him.

When Matilde smiled at me

I felt how my heart grew warmer
with every little movement of her lips.

A heart that had been in winter
during all my eleven years.

It was a smile that talked to me.
To me alone.

Setting me apart from the rest
of mortals and at the same time,

binding me tighter to them.

My father managed to save her life.

Since then and to my father's
astonishment and joy

I decided to become a doctor.

Breathe, come on.
Push, push. Breathe.

- Marche
- Marche

- Touché
- Touché

The years started to go by quickly.

But do they ever go by slowly?

But yestermorn I turned my back upon it;

This one appeared to me, returning thither,
And homeward leadeth me along this street.

This one appeared to me, returning thither,
And homeward leadeth me along this road.

And he to me…

Armancia!

Here vigour failed the lofty fantasy:

But now was turning my desire and will,
Even as a wheel that equally is moved,

The love which moves
the sun and the stars.

Don't be afraid,
he is my brother.

He likes to recite aloud.

I…

I was looking for my sister.

Armancia!

We can look for her together if you want.

Armancia!

You don't remember me, do you?

No.

My father is a doctor.
I came with him when you were ill.

Your father saved my life.

I'm going to be a doctor too.

A doctor!

Then you could cure me.

Are you ill by any chance?

It is not easy to explain.

Sometimes I wake up thinking

that something terrible and marvellous
is about to happen to me.

And other times…
I laugh and weep at the same time.

My sister says I'm mad.

In that case, I share in your madness.
She is the one who's mad.

Your brother too.
Everyone is mad.

What's wrong with you?
What are you laughing about?

I'd like to introduce you
to our new doctor.

We fall in love with a voice,
a set of features, a gesture

Why precisely with one single combination
among all the possibilities?

What strange alchemy makes
it be that one and not another?

What hidden shortcut does a soul take
making its way towards ours?

The maestro had fallen ill.

And it was now her daughter Valeria
who took charge of the lessons.

At first that shocked the people
in the neighbourhood.

But Valeria's reserved, unsociable
and irreproachable behaviour

and the continuous presence of her father
had quickly silenced the gossip.

One day your grandparents,
Matilde and Armancia's parents,

received a message
from New Schotland.

They had to spend some months there
to set in order the affairs

and inheritance of a relative
who had just passed away.

And, as it was common then,
they left their daughters

in the keeping of the abbess
in a nearby convent.

I then spotted the opportunity
to grow closer to Matilde again.

I thought up a naive strategy that,
I know, you'll now find ridiculous,

but that, back then,
I believed ingenious.

Every day the nuns came out
about 3 o'clock

to take a walk over the hill
and around the lake

where I knew Matilde
always stopped

beside a curiously shaped rock
that she had adopted.

Another day, Matilde,
open in your absence.

If by any dreadful chance
you weren't in my thoughts

I would feel so empty
as a pumpkin full of snow.

- What are you doing, Armancia?
- I'm eating a love letter.

And what does it taste like?

I've never been written one.

Since I'm married to God
and he never writes letters…

How many nuns are there in this convent?

We are 23 and the mother superior.

- And all of you are married to God?
- All.

I will never be a nun.

- And what if God calls you?
- I won't listen to him.

- I know what you're thinking about.
- What?

About the flowers on the rock.

No, I wasn't thinking about that.

You're a liar.

You're right. I was thinking of the hand
that writes my name on an empty envelope.

- Is it always empty?
- Yes.

Are you sure you're not hiding
the letters from me?

I wish I had letters to hide.

I know not if thou understand; I speak
of Beatrice; her shalt thou see above,

smiling and happy,
on this mountain's top.

Smiling and happy.

Who is Beatrice?

Beatrice? I don't know.

And you, who are you?

Armancia. I am Armancia.

What if it was Jonás
who was writing to you?

That evening I had to go with my father
to take care of a smallpox epidemic

in a near village
and I couldn't leave my daily present.

That messenger, a french gentleman
who had sought his fortune
in Halifax, brought bad news.

The parents of Matilde and Armancia
had passed away in strange circumstances.

I can't stop thinking
about the messenger, Armancia.

I no longer find comfort in my prayers.

- Perhaps you shouldn't have listened to God.
- Now I know there are other voices.

We have taken away their rites,
their paintings, their gods… And for what?

I can assure you that I've never found
a better example of goodness.

And all because they follow no rules
except those dictated by their feelings.

And that makes them happier?

Yes, Matilde.

I think there's no burden
worse than guilt.

Being free means
being so always.

They say there are no
heavier chains than those of love.

Only one who accepts freedom can love.

The day I love someone
I will put him in a cage for ever.

But Armancia, if you do that,
he will stop loving you.

When I was summoned because of
a fever that the messenger suffered

I knew by Matilde's face
that my battle was lost.

And that the alchemy that had occurred
between them in those few days

could never be equaled by the passion
that I had cultivated over the years.

The most ironic thing is
that from that day on

Matilde took me as
her best friend

sharing with me
all the troubles of her heart.

And all her happiness.

I then told myself that
if it meant being close to her

it did not matter to me
the name her lips should pronounce.

In spite of everything
I'd like to be in your place.

The love which moves
the sun and the stars.

The love…

The love which moves
the sun and the stars.

I had to get away from there.

And it was a good opportunity to improve
my knowledge of medicine.

Though in those days everything
seemed to me useless and senseless.

I understood better than ever
my brother's insanity that covered him like
a protective cloak that I even grew to envy.

Through me the way is to the city dolent;
Through me the way among the people lost.

Through me the way is to eternal torture. No.
Through me the way is to eternal dole.

Eternal dole.

Excuse me.
It seems that I'm needed.

- Is something wrong?
- No, no.

Aren't you hungry?

No. Inactivity spoils my appetite.

Anything whets my appetite.

I almost forget!

You still haven't seen the pavilion that
our father turned into a fencing room.

The maestro is still there teaching lessons.
That might serve as a distraction.

Yes, perhaps I'll go later.

When will we buy new dresses?

And the party? You said we would throw
a big party to celebrate your wedding.

I know, Armancia. But our parents…

Yes, I know. But I've never seen
a party in my life.

We'll have a party, Armancia.
And we'll dance.

Until the marble on the floor
wears out.

Good morning.

A good day for snails.

I've been told that here
there's a fencing teacher.

[French:]
My father is ill.

It's him who taught you French?

Yes.

A nice place for practising.

Have you seen other ones?

I loved fencing.

I haven't practised for a long time.

Won't anybody come today
to practise with me?

When it rains
nobody goes out.

Except for picking snails.

And you?

I find snails disgusting.

No. I mean,
what do you do here?

Do you take care
of your father's pavilion?

You could say that.

And don't you get bored?

I think I'll be going.

Since it's been so long

since you've practised,

I think you won't mind
if you do it with me.

What do you mean?

My father has taught me
some positions.

Nothing major.
Since I'm always sitting here

I see the others training.

I'm afraid I might hurt you.
That would be unfair.

I see.

You think it's fair though,
to allow me to continue to be bored.

No, but with you I…

You're beginning to annoy me.

All right!

Only some basic positions?

Only that.

How long it's been then
since you trained for the last time?

One hundred years?

What's your name?

Valeria.

Valeria,
so that you can forgive me:

I'd like you to come
to a party tonight.

Such a small victory
doesn't deserve such an honour.

Will you come?

Without weapons?

Léon, do you still love me?

Of course I still love you.

And when you aren't with me,
do you love me then?

But I'm always with you.

When you dream?
Or only when you sleep?

Then you think you love me?

Because I know I love you
when I sleep.

Because when I wake up and see you
by my side I think I'm still dreaming.

The first guests are arriving.

[French:] Let's go.

[French:] You had no intention
of attending the party.

Don't you like parties?

I've never seen one.

- And don't you wonder?
- No.

Did you think I would come
to make you change your mind?

Yes.

And did you want me to come?

I think so.

Yes.

But I didn't want to want.

I hate

to have desired it.

Why?

I was educated for fencing.

Here, take a foil.

We could measure our forces
one more time.

We are already doing it, Valeria.

This morning, when I woke up,
I woke up from you

and my only desire was to keep on sleeping
to keep on dreaming of you.

You should go.

My father is ill
in the next room.

Say that you don't want me to go.

- You should return to the party.
- I hate parties.

Léon.

Say it again.

Léon.

I'd like to see you
somewhere else.

I want to fight with you
somewhere else.

I cannot abandon my father now.

Tomorrow morning

I'll wait for you by the rock
that is next to the lake.

Léon! Léon!

Did you see me dancing last night?
Did you see how I danced?

I wore out all the marble
on the floor as you said.

Did you,
you little devil?

What a surprise
that you've come.

Did you know this is my rock?

I was here when I saw you
for the first time.

Yes, I remember.

Matilde got a lot of flowers then.

Is that true?

I feel guilty because
I've never given you any.

You give me much, much more
than that.

Shall we travel soon?

I want to see every
city in the world.

Would you like to leave here,
to travel?

[French:]
Yes, why not?

You look as if you had fought a battle.

No. I came running.

I see. And you held such a desire
to know the fate of my humble existence

that you dare wake me
just when I had finally fallen asleep.

You have
all your life to sleep.

Yes, and all my death.

Where were we?

Are you, by chance,
a messenger from hell who comes

to tempt me and embrace
my dark thoughts?

Are you sure the text says:
"to tempt me and embrace my dark thoughts"?

Oh, don't worry.
I didn't say it by heart.

I wrote it on the cuff
of my shirt to impress you.

You can imagine
the first thing I did,

though it was the last thing
I had promised myself I would do,

was going to the garden house
to give my respects to Matilde.

Well, have I to ask if
you are still as happy as you were?

Although probably
it's a senseless question.

Yes. Of course I am.
How could I not be?

But it is you who has to tell me
about the city,

about your studies,
the women you have met…

Women? I can assure you
that as far as I'm concerned,

in the city there were only
medical students, brainy professors

and -forgive me-

corpses.

And your husband,
has he yet made himself comfortable here?

Yes. I hardly ever see him,
you know.

He spends the whole day
practising in the pavilion.

It seems he is making
great progress.

The poor dear was a little bored so…

I'm glad he has something
to keep himself entertained.

Matilde, will you count on me as your
most faithful friend for anything you need?

Promise me.

Matilde wasn't happy as she stated.

And I found myself praying
that nothing bad should happen to her.

I realised that I loved her more than ever
with a love that was unknown to me.

I would have given anything
to give her back her happiness

even in another man's arms.

Being his father doesn't give you
the right to treat him like this.

I warn you: next time
I won't hesitate to denounce you.

You could have caused him
much more serious wounds.

I started to exercise my profession
but sometimes, even then,

I felt more like a schoolteacher
than a doctor.

Healing is not only a matter
of applying bandages

but of changing the thoughts
that rot in people's minds.

And that… is more difficult.

There are grey clouds that take
their colour when they are near the moon

There are clouds without shadows.

There are thick, white, bright clouds
touching at the edges.

There are pale veils
formed by ice crystals.

Clouds like herds.

There are black clouds like dark mountains
that cover the sky in mere instants

and soak the earth with rain.

Are you sad because I'm leaving?

No, I like it when I miss you.

Then I'll stay a little longer.

Yes, we miss each other.

There are some places

which preserve the moments
we have lived in them in a special way.

And when we come back
there they are,

ready to be brought to life again,

untouched.

Do you know

when passion becomes love

and when love becomes passion?

When do we cross the border
between our being and that of the other
and we can't return anymore?

Matilde, I beg you…

At what moment
does it crystallise?

At what moment does
any shred of will abandon us?

At what moment do love and pain
become so mixed that no one,

not even oneself,

can tell where one begins
and the other ends?

Don't torture me with your words
any more, Matilde.

Your pain is the only thing
I cannot bear.

Do you think love is
an incurable illness?

Léon, your wife is very ill.
She has a high fever.

I'm sure she is in good hands.

What better hands than yours,
those that saved my life?

I… She is calling for you, León.
And I thought…

I think she needs you at her side.

There are some things
that medicine can't alleviate.

I'll go soon.
As soon as I can.

Since you judge me to be better
there is something I'd like to ask you.

You know I'll do
whatever you ask me to.

That's what you said once, I remember.

It is about the pavilion.

- The pavilion?
- Yes.

I've heard that my husband and the
maestro's daughter face off there every day

and it is beautiful to see them fence.

That they are reaching perfection
in the noble art of fencing.

I'd like to watch them, please.

Matilde, you don't know
what you're asking me.

I cannot allow you
to leave the house.

Nor can I be accomplice
to anything that might worsen your state.

Matilde, I beg you.
Forget the pavilion.

There's nothing there that can…
that may interest you.

You know, when I was a child
my father took me there

and the only thing I got
were bruises.

Matilde, I beg you. Promise me
that you will desist of that mad idea.

Is it so serious, what happens there

that the sole sight of it
would worsen my state?

Promise me, Matilde.

Alright, then.

I'll return tonight.
Have some rest.

And have the servants
light the fireplace.

See you tonight.

Good bye, Armancia.

Take care of your sister.

I'll go with you.
I'll help you get to the pavilion.

Why have I given in, Jonás?

Why have I accepted without a fight
that she love another.

I liked to go hunting…

If only I had told her
how much I loved her.

…to lose myself in the woods
following a trail.

What can I do now?

Why have you never asked me what
happened that day in the woods?

You said it was an accident.

No.

It was not an accident.

Jonás.

I couldn't do anything to prevent
what happened to that poor girl.

And what could I have done?

It was a matter of justice.

And I'm glad I had the guts.

Since then I have nothing to do
with anything or anybody.

Jonás.

But my own wings
were not enough for this,

Had it not been
that then my mind there smote

A flash of lightning,
wherein came its wish.

Wherein came its wish.

I want to learn fencing, Matilde.
It's nice, isn't it?

Matilde! Matilde!

But what happened?
What have you done?

I had to.

I had to understand.

Sometimes you don't need to go so far
to understand.

You don't need
to take a single step.

I know that too.

And I'm sorry.

You mustn't be sorry.

Now you shouldn't make any efforts.

You're wrong.

I should.

I thought I lived a clear life
and I was surrounded by fog.

And I pulled you into that fog.

How could I not see
the pain in your eyes

when I told you about myself
and my passing happiness?

I was never loved
as I dreamed to be loved.

Only by you.

And because of that
my life was not so in vain.

You have to fight.
Do it for me.

There isn't anything
that you should regret. Anything.

You are wrong again, doctor.

As you were when you loved me

the day you came with your
father to this very room.

No. I wasn't wrong, Matilde.

The heart is never wrong.

And it's not too late.

You have to keep fighting.
This time you'll have me at your side.

Promise me two things.

I promise you whatever you want.

When I die…

You're not gonna die.
You can't die.

…I want you to open the chest at
the foot of my bed and I want…

When I die,

before my body gets cold,

kiss me

so that I can take your
warmth with me where I'm going

because I didn't love you.

Matilde!

That very night I burned
all my medicine books

and I decided not to
treat anyone ever again.

There were no clouds in the sky,
neither that day nor any of the following.

Although perhaps I would not have noticed
if there had been any.

And what happened
to Léon and Valeria?

I don't know.

They left the house, I think.
I never heard of them again.

I think one of them died
shortly after.

Well, at least that's
what I seem to remember.

I could kill you.

Why don't you?

The only thing that holds me back is the idea
that for you it would be a liberation.

Then set me free.

I will forget Léon
and I'll have several like him in my life.

For you there won't be
another like her.

The heart is our main organ.

These vessels take the blood
to the whole body.

And likewise, the cavities here,
here, here and here,

and the arteries push and
drive the blood

that goes up to our head
when we get angry.

and goes down to our feet
when we are sad.

And when we are happy?

When we are happy…

I don't know.

I've come to say good bye.

Are you leaving, Armancia?

Yes. I want to see
all the cities in the world.

Besides, Valeria is going
to teach me fencing.

I hope…

I hope you'll be very happy.

I know I will. I know it.

Some day I'll come back
and take you with me.

- Good bye.
- Good bye.

Write to me!
Your letters were so nice!

Then I began: Sorrow and not disdain

Did your rendition…
condition fix within me so,

That…

That…

That… tardily it wholly is stripped off,

As soon as this my Lord said…

said…

unto me words.

Milady is awake.
And she asked for you.

Won't you come in?

No. She probably
needs you more than me.

I hope that someday
you will come to visit.

If you want to…

What did you say
to my wife's ear?

Earlier, tonight.

Oh, I lied.

I told her you loved her.

There are clouds like crystal veils

and clouds which are heavy
like a castle.

Clouds that resemble
the face of the beloved one

and clouds with faces
we don't want to remember.

I always lived looking at the sky
and never found two identical clouds.

That is how I want to die.

Looking at the clouds

and looking for the question
to an answer I don't know.