All language subtitles for Texasville.eng

This is KAUZ Channel 6,
Wichita Falls, Texas,

serving northern Texas
and southern Oklahoma, USA.

So good morning, Texhoma.

It's 7 am and already
82 degrees in the shade

on this very sunny Tuesday,
July 10th 1984.

Looks like it'll be over 100 degrees
again today and still no sign of rain.

Here are the headlines.

President Reagan, appearing
before the Texas Bar Association,

said his administration is ready
to meet with Soviet negotiators...

to discuss banning weapons in space.

Now recovered from the operation
on his colon last month,

Reagan said he was especially pleased...

that the Republican National Convention
was taking place in Dallas on August 20th.

The President's running-mate,
Vice-President Bush, has been in Illinois...

trying to enlist blue-collar support
for the Reagan-Bush campaign.

Cuba, East Germany and Vietnam
have all joined the Soviet Union's boycott...

of the summer Olympic Games,
starting July 28th in Los Angeles.

In a surprise announcement,
Romania's President, Nicolae Ceausescu,

says that his country will participate.

Democratic Presidential candidate Walter
Mondale has completed a tour of Texas...

with a stop in Houston
to talk with businessmen...

about the impact of declining oil prices
on our state's economy.

Yesterday, North Sea Crude
closed at $16.25 a barrel...

Gold and silver prices have fallen
to their lowest level since 1982.

Since the first of this year, Mondale noted,
oil has dropped $12 a barrel,

and most experts agree it's headed lower.

Duane, you're just gonna ruin
that brand-new doghouse!

I guess I'm trapped out here in the country
with a man who's going crazy.

Glad we sent the twins to camp.

They'll probably get kicked out in a day or
two. They'll commit incest or something.

It's a church camp.
They'll just pray for their horrible souls.

Nellie probably doesn't even hear them.

I bet she's got that Walkman on.

Duane, why are you poking that gun
in the water?

I was thinking of shooting my dick off.

It's caused me nothing but trouble
my whole life.

Well, just 'cause
you're having a mid-life crisis,

I don't think
you oughta shoot your dick off.

Why not? It don't work
half the time anyway.

Well, I wouldn't
be the one to know about that.

But it's a small target and if you miss
you're gonna ruin our new hot tub.

Don't sulk, Duane.
You left yourself wide open for that one.

Any cheques, Ruth?

Finally got 37,000 from those crooks
in Oklahoma, but it's a drop in the bucket.

- I've had it till after lunch.
- Lester Marlow called three times.

Said please send over
a cheque for 12 million.

- Oh, Lester.
- The federal regulators are coming today.

He gets nervous at the thought of prison.

Said he'd rather have a hot cheque
than none at all.

- I feel sorry for Lester.
- I doubt there's federal regulators here.

All bank presidents are nervous.

- Hello?
- We need to talk.

We talk every day.
I don't have your 12 million.

If you want my rigs, take 'em.

Or I could send you a cheque
and post-date it a few years.

Marylou left me this morning.

- Left you? And went where?
- She hasn't actually moved out yet.

She made me take my sleeping bag

and says I can sleep on the floor
for all she cares.

Women have a heartless side to them,
don't they?

This whole town is heartless!

Nobody's losing sleep
because I have to stand trial

for trying to protect their interests.

I wish you'd talk to Marylou.
She respects you, Duane.

She's on the Centennial Committee.
I'll see her at the meeting tonight.

- Would you?
- I'll drop by the bank later.

Thank you.

Marylou kicked Lester out.

I knew that several hours ago.

That makes one more footloose woman
in this town.

Suzie Nolan is also footloose now.

I intend to give both a wide berth.

I don't know why we're talking about this.

Because the oil business
has gone belly up

and there's nothing for you to do
but sleep with every woman you find.

Could I have a cheque?

We ought to give Lester a few thousand.

Why don't you go see Jacy?

I doubt she wants company.

She might, though.
I would if I'd just lost a child.

I thought you hated Jacy.

I don't hold grudges for 30 years.
She was just a girl then.

Besides, tragedy changes people.

She sits alone in her daddy's big house
grieving for that child.

The thought preys on my mind.

I doubt she'd even remember me, Ruth.

You remember her. Why should
her memory be worse than yours?

I meant we aren't friends any more.

I think you'd rather
go pick on footloose wives...

than help a woman you loved
who's had a tragedy.

She lost her parents too, Duane.

You're scared
you'll fall in love with her again.

I wouldn't know how to fall in love
with anybody. I'm too old for it.

You never get too old for it.

If it's such a fine thing,
why don't you do it?

I'm too broke to fall in love.

I can't get the fact that I owe 12 million
off my mind long enough.

Ten years from now you might
not remember you had this debt,

but you'll always remember Jacy
and you'll always remember me.

Why will I remember you?
Where will you be?

I'll be in the afterlife.

I just hope you can find
someone competent to keep your books.

Stay there.

- Come on, Suzie.
- No.

Listen, Suzie. I'm your husband.
Why can't we just sit down and talk?

Hey, Junior. Come on. Let Suzie go.
Your breakfast is gonna get cold.

- See you at the meeting, Duane.
- See you then, Suzie.

Sonny was never even in the backfield,
you know. Not like Duane.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Looks good, doesn't he, Lavelle?

Morning, boys. How's it going?
Junior, Charlene, Lavelle.

- Let's just bomb OPEC.
- Napalm it or use H-bombs?

Well, I don't know
if you can buy an H-bomb.

Why not?
It's still a free country, ain't it?

Do you think women
want it more than men?

Want what more?

- Er... sexual intercourse.
- Hey, Sonny.

- Morning.
- Morning.

Charlene, I found my car.
How are you doing, Lavelle?

Junior here wants to know
if women need more sex than men.

- I didn't say "needed".
- Don't look at me. I'm a bachelor.

What's the matter, Junior?
Suzie giving you headaches?

- Nothing special.
- Women know how to give headaches.

- I agree with that.
- Cheer up. Things'll get better.

Duane, know who dropped into
the Kwik Sack in the middle of the night?

Jacy Farrow.
She looked through a few magazines.

You're the only one
who's seen her since she's come back.

- Is she still as beautiful as ever?
- Never took off her dark glasses.

She's beautiful, but she's older.

Let's get the girls in on this.

Junior Nolan here was wondering
whether women want more sex than men.

I think they should need it equal - males
and females. Don't you think so, Duane?

Hey, Karla.

What are you looking so red in the face
about, Lee Roy? Y'all talking about sex?

I'd better hit it.
It ain't getting any cooler outside.

Well, we gotta go to work.

I don't see what you've got
to laugh about, Duane.

It's either laugh about nothing or cry about
everything, and I didn't feel like crying.

Karla's chased off all the women except
herself. I guess it's time to go to work.

Who's going to the Centennial meeting?

What happened to the pioneer spirit?
The people don't deserve a Centennial.

Phone for Duane or Karla!

I just left. Me and Shorty
got urgent business down the road.

- Hey, Genevieve.
- Morning, Duane.

- How's the leg?
- It itches. Did Sonny find his car?

- I didn't know he'd lost it.
- Third time this month.

- Hi, Genevieve.
- Hi. Did Sonny find his car?

I didn't know he'd lost it.

Your son Dickie just got arrested
for doing 85 in a school zone.

Not only that, he was pulling a trailer.

You get him out.
I got him out the last three times.

I'm not getting him out this afternoon!

I think I may go to Dallas
and spend a few thousand dollars!

'Cause those city lights
ain't all that bright

Compared with what it's like...

Think Jacy would mind
if I just rang the bell, Shorty?

Momma played the guitar then

And Daddy made the saw-blade bend

And raindrops
played the tin roof like a drum

If that generator ain't started before I'm
out of hearing distance, you're all fired.

Get up, goddam it! Get that pipe spinning.
Ten minutes is up!

Let's go!

You go home, Dickie, but slow down, boy.

- Sorry, Monroe.
- Duane.

You've got a world of opportunity
ahead of you.

You ought to do something useful.

Selling dope is useful. Cheers people up
when they're going broke.

Well, you'll think useful...

when some Mexican catches you
and chops you up with a chainsaw.

Worrying about
your little world falling apart

This gun's for hire

Even if we're just dancing in the dark...

Oh, shit! Billie Anne's here.

- That woman's got a temper.
- What's she mad at you for?

Gossip. I wish we lived in New York
so people wouldn't gossip.

Gossip does more damage than drugs.

Who are you sleeping with
that Billie Anne found out about?

Well, Mrs Nolan and Mrs Marlow.

Say it again
just so I know I'm not going crazy.

- Suzie Nolan and Marylou Marlow.
- Oh...

Now Mrs Marlow's left her husband
and Mrs Nolan's fixing to!

- Do Junior and Lester know about this?
- Yeah. Billie Anne called them.

If she's out here, she wants revenge.

All right.
You'd better go till the dust settles.

Come on, Shorty.

Come on, Shorty!

It's about time you came home.
Where's that boy?

- Gone to Louisiana.
- He don't care he broke this girl's heart.

Hey, Billie Anne.

- Hey, Nellie. Little Mike.
- Hi, Daddy.

Hey!

Come on, Mike.

They say the best way to teach kids
to swim is to drop 'em in the water.

Guess what, Daddy.
Me and Ed got engaged today.

Ed? I didn't know
you were divorced from Hal yet.

You know Dickie has wrecked two homes?

Three. He wrecked ours, too,
and we hadn't even started it yet.

Well, I wouldn't pay
too much attention to rumours.

A lot of idle gossip
gets gossiped in Anarene.

They had to carry Lester Marlow off
to the quiet room today. He went crazy.

Threatened to cut his own throat
with a razor. Said he'd had enough.

He probably just felt like
a day in the quiet room.

He won't cut his own throat.

Junior Nolan was seen buying shells for
his deer rifle. It ain't deer season, Duane.

It's Dickie season.

It won't do no good to hide him.
I'll get him eventually.

- Don't you threaten my fiancé.
- Put that gun down, Billie Anne.

Little Barbette might have
a trauma for life if you shot somebody.

Let's talk this over like civilised people.
Junior. Billie Anne.

You folks got any steaks? This thing's
had me torn up so much I forgot to eat.

Well, it's had me tore up too.
I know just how you feel.

We could go to the steakhouse.
Our steaks are in the deep-freeze.

We'd all be so drunk, no telling who'd
get shot by the time they thawed out.

I'm so hungry I could eat one froze.

I hope this is a short meeting.
Maybe I can catch up with you later.

I feel real sorry for Junior.

I think it's sweet there's one husband left
who loves his wife.

Lots of husbands love their wives enough
not to want them sleeping with Dickie.

Lester, for example.

It must be ten years since I've seen you
wear anything I didn't have to read.

Marylou. Suzie.

- Hi, Duane.
- Duane.

This should be a short meeting.

Souvenirs are coming in next week.
That'll be one worry off our minds.

Now...

I was wondering if we can't come
to some compromise about Texasville.

Not me. Ain't no compromising
with what's right.

GG, Texasville was the first town in Archer
County and the original county seat.

This is a big celebration and we've got to
give it that Old West flavour.

Not if the flavour's bourbon whiskey.

I ain't voting to build no replicas
of saloons and whorehouses!

What if we just...?

Yeah. What if we just put
a small replica of Texasville

on the courthouse square?

Put a saloon and a whorehouse
right here in the heart of town?

Good idea. I move that we build a replica
of Texasville in the courthouse square.

- I'll second it.
- All in favour, raise your right hand.

Opposed?

I'm looking right at two people
who just voted against the Lord.

I just voted against you, GG.

In the interests of safety,
I propose we authorise the sale of beer

on the courthouse lawn.

- I second it.
- Safety?

How's the public gonna be safe
if it's allowed to get drunk

right here in the middle of town?

We're gonna provide army cots

so people can sleep it off
and drive home in the morning.

All those in favour,
raise your right hand. Opposed?

You can floorboard
these votes through all you want to.

You are a sinner, your wife is a sinner,

your kids fornicate and sell dope.

I don't claim to be perfect, GG.

That's what I told Junior
and it didn't do no good.

Didn't do no good with Lester either.
You take care, Suzie.

- Night, Duane. Night, Sonny.
- Night, boys.

- Night, Marylou. Night, Suzie.
- Night, Suzie.

- Night, Sonny, Duane.
- Night, Joe Bob.

- Good night, Duane.
- Night, Sonny.

Do you think I'll get raped in prison?

I doubt you'll even go.

Maybe they'll let you do some community
service, like mow the football field.

- Butt-fucking doesn't appeal to me.
- It'll be one of those country-club prisons.

- Are you gonna take bankruptcy?
- No. I don't plan to.

- Why not? Your position is hopeless.
- Nothing's hopeless till you're dead.

My marriage is hopeless. Marylou and I
haven't slept together in months.

She just gets in the car at night.
I don't know where she goes.

But we have sweet children.

I hope the girls don't turn against me
while I'm in prison.

- You worry too much.
- Marylou likes excitement.

She says I'm not exciting any more.

Well, it's hard to stay exciting
for a whole lifetime.

Hope you get to feeling better.

Don't you know heartaches are heroes
when their pockets are full?

Tell me you're trying to cure
a seven year ache...

Suzie.

What's the matter with you?

Dickie don't love me.

It's just good fun to him.

I do love the little rat something terrible.

But don't leave me, Duane.

I don't think I can fit through this window.

Shoot! I told Junior
we needed a station wagon.

Ah... I think I'm stuck.

Howdy, Beulah.

Duane, Daddy's dead!

He fell out of the car
and rolled off into a ditch.

Oh, no! And he was gonna be the star
of our whole Centennial.

It's my fault.

I got on him for missing
his tobacco can when he spits.

So he opened the door
and he tried to spit and he fell out!

What's on TV?

Hello?

- Hey, Lavelle.
- Finally.

Old man Balt nearly got killed.
That's why I couldn't come by.

Maybe we can sneak off this weekend.

You don't really want to.

Night, Suzie. Say hello to Junior.

- Who is it? I'm watching a movie.
- Is Karla home?

- I ain't seen her.
- If she shows up, tell her I went fishing.

I will. Bye.

I wonder who else I can call
who'd hang up on me.

- Take care, Lester.
- Hey, Duane.

Beulah.

Howdy. Didn't mean to scare you.

I'm not scared. I just assumed
I had this lake to myself.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

Jacy, I'm Duane Jackson. We went
together in high school for a while.

Duane. Lord!
What a place to run into an old boyfriend.

- You live in a boat now or what?
- I just hide out in one when I'm depressed.

I heard you got rich.
What are you depressed about?

Nothing serious.

- Did you get rich?
- Yeah. Pretty rich.

I drive by Los Dolores once in a while.
I thought about ringing the doorbell.

- Why didn't you?
- Oh...

I gotta sit in a boat all night
to get any privacy myself.

I'm shy about meddling
with other people's.

That's mature of you.

If you had rung my doorbell,
probably I'd have been rude.

Was it you I went skinny-dipping with?

No. That was Lester Marlow.

But I was your favourite mermaid,
anyway, wasn't I?

Ring the doorbell, Duane, sometime.
I'd like to hear about your family.

Yes, Mrs Hollister, I understand that.

Yes.

Reverend Peabody, I can't tell you...

Yes.

how sorry I am.
It's just a terrible thing!

- It's Dickie.
- Is he in jail again or what?

No. Married. He and Billie Anne
went to Bowie on a honeymoon.

They've been married for three weeks.

Billie Anne's mother's
having a nervous breakdown.

She won't be the only one.
Oh! Come on. Come on.

You've gotta get the twins. They've been
kicked out, like you predicted.

- Yes. He'll be right down.
- Why are you crying?

Her fiancé disappointed her.

Would you please hush that crying?

Ed didn't mean to be unfaithful.
He just gets blind after the 25th beer.

- What did he do?
- He tried to kiss Billie Anne.

- My own sister-in-law!
- What did the twins do?

Julie posed for naked Polaroids.

Jack crawled up the shit-house
and dropped a brick on the toilet.

The toilet flooded things.

They'd appreciate it
if you'd come before lunch.

Where were you all night
while I was going crazy?

I told Minerva to tell you
I was going fishing.

When people interrupt my movies,
I'm apt to forget their alibi.

- Whatever become of Junior?
- He's up in one of the guest rooms.

How come I never get a honeymoon?

You have one every time you meet a boy!

All right, Barbette, are you ready?

Hmm? Coo!

OK, you sweet girl.
Have happy dreams, now.

OK? There you go.

Nighty-night, now.

Junior?

What did I do now?

You'll know when you get
the divorce papers.

I told you I went fishing.

You know who I saw swimming
across that lake out there? Jacy Farrow.

I hear she's aged a lot.

Why did she go to Italy in the first place?

She went there with some sorority sisters
from SMU. I guess she liked it.

I heard they only let her be
in Tarzan movies.

I'd like to meet her. She's interesting.

When you get down to that camp,
make them give you the dirty Polaroids

and lecture the twins all the way home.

I've been lecturing them since the minute
they were born. Come on, Shorty!

Who's that with Lester?

Lavelle?

Lester and Lavelle?

How do you like that, Shorty?

- Where are you on your way to?
- Bridgeport, to get the twins.

I'll park and go with you.
I need to get out of this miserable town.

- Bye, Marylou. Say hi to Lester.
- Uh-huh.

Your son's a stinker. Wanna hear
how he seduced me and ruined my life?

I don't know if I do.
I got a lot of bad news today already.

I might be pregnant.

Dickie's or Lester's?

Oh, Dickie's. I told Lester
I couldn't be his outlet any more.

He is a good father, though.

Sometimes I feel guilty,
but it's every person for themselves.

- Do you know what I mean?
- Yup. I sure do.

Dropping that brick on the toilet
was an accident.

I was trying to drop it on the kid
taking a shit, but he moved too quick.

I don't see why you sent us here.
These people are all Jesus freaks.

Your mother thought you should
learn something about the Bible.

All I did was let a little boy from Nocona
take pictures of my pee-pee.

What's wrong with that?
You and Momma go naked in the hot tub.

Are you and Mrs Marlow
gonna get married?

Of course not. She just felt like
taking a little ride. We're just friends.

- Hi, kids. How are y'all doing?
- Get in there, now.

Hey, Suzie. Junior's still at my place.

That's a heck of a way
to eat French fries, Billie Anne.

Mmm-mm!

I just stole
all your sweetest sugar, Grandpa.

- It's mighty good sugar.
- Guess what I did, Duane.

- Every time I've guessed I've been wrong.
- See?

Duane's got that dour personality, Jacy.
He's reluctant to take a chance.

A man that ends up
with a bunch like this has taken a chance.

- Good point.
- Momma bought us a house.

I bought a duplex. Dickie and Billie Anne
can move in one side.

Nellie and Ed can live on the other.
Save on rent.

- Momma's good at finding bargains.
- I wish I was as good at finding money.

- Is it fun to be a movie star?
- If you're more of one than I was.

I think I'll be one.
I don't wanna be no millionaire.

Bring your girls home. They can stay
at our house if they get on your nerves.

It's the other way around.
I get on their nerves.

- How many girls do you have?
- Two. One your age, one Nellie's.

They're so European.
I don't know what they'd think of Anarene.

I can barely get 'em to go to New York.

That's all the sugar supply for today,
Grandpa. You'll have to wait till tomorrow.

Thanks for lunch. Come out in the
morning. We'll compare notes some more.

- Compare notes on what?
- On you, honey pie. What else?

I wanna know what you were like and
Jacy wants to know how you turned out.

Don't tell her how I turned out.
It'll just depress her.

Bye, kids. Hope to see you soon. Ciao.

See you tomorrow.

That girl's really put on weight.

She was skinny as a rail
when she was in high school, wasn't she?

Yeah. Kinda skinny.

Karla's with Jacy again.
It's not exactly news, is it, Marylou?

Please say you'll play Adam
in my pageant, Duane.

Get Dickie to play Adam.
He thinks he is Adam.

What makes you think
I'd ever speak to him again?

Good thing Lester fell in love with Lavelle.

I'd never have the energy to direct the
pageant if I had to keep breaking his heart.

It's kind of lucky for Lester too.

Do you think Jacy might agree to be
in the pageant? She'd be a good Eve.

It looks like Suzie would get curious
why Junior lives out here now.

I heard it on the grapevine
that you're in love with her.

The grapevine has
misinformed you again, honey.

Every time you call me honey
there's a lie involved.

She didn't love you for ever,
did she, Duane?

Nope.

- Duane, are you sad?
- I guess.

Jacy's real curious about you.

I think sometimes she wishes
she'd just stayed here and married you.

How about it, Duane?
You awake? Duane! You got your ears off?

Yeah, I got you. Go on.

I think Libyan terrorists
have kidnapped Sonny Crawford.

He's been gone all night. They said on TV
they'd sent in a bunch of hit squads.

They didn't say
they sent them to Anarene.

Lee Roy says Libyan terrorists got Sonny.

- Karla?
- Hi, Genevieve.

- Did he leave a note?
- No, he didn't.

- You got a cup of coffee for me?
- Yeah.

- Did you see him?
- No. He wasn't here when I came to work.

Sonny?

Sonny?

Sonny?

Just the same old town.

I wish you boys would go on home now.
We're gonna find him.

It crushes me to have to go to work
and not get to shoot anybody.

Let's check out the hotel.

You ought to shoot Leroy.
He's the one that got us up this early.

Sonny?

Duane.

Come here.

Just makes me want to cry for ever
looking at him sitting there.

Hey, Sonny.

Let's go have some breakfast.

Oh, no.

- Anybody watching the Kwik Sack?
- Genevieve's there.

You worry me.
What were you doing up there?

I was just watching a movie... I mean,
I was imagining I was watching a movie.

It's just kinda like
I've got this VCR and it's in my brain.

It's just I can't remember leaving.

Oh, God. I guess
people are gonna think I'm crazy.

The Kwik Sack's gonna lose money.

Well, it didn't lose any last night.

You made a good $75
while you were watching that movie.

How many tests do they do?
It's been over three hours.

Sonny doesn't understand us very well.

He thought I was gonna jump out of the car
'cause you're in love with Suzie Nolan.

I'm not in love with Suzie Nolan.

She's a step up from Lavelle Bates,
I admit that.

With a young woman you'll do a lot
more things than you ever do with me.

- Suzie's not three years younger than you.
- I knew I'd get a confession out of you.

Well, Arthur...
he's 15 years younger than me.

He probably knows things
I've never heard of.

He did.
That's kinda ancient news now, Duane.

Arthur was a big disappointment to me.
You know that.

I don't blame Suzie for wanting you.
Junior's a total dud.

Claims he took a headache pill two years
ago and he's been impotent ever since.

What do you and Jacy talk about all day?

I wouldn't tell you
if you were the last person on earth.

Broke my heart seeing Sonny
in the picture show.

Then I realised that wasn't what broke it.
It was already broken.

You broke it.

Seeing him just made me realise
I didn't have a whole heart any more.

What was wrong with your head, Sonny?

The doctor did a lot of tests. We won't
know anything until the results are in.

There's a lot of things I could have.

A lot of things Duane's already got.

There's three messages from Lavelle.

Oh, I'm in a big hurry.
I've gotta go to Odessa.

- You finished that proposal?
- Yeah.

- I don't know if she'll last the day.
- She'll last the day.

I didn't think you was the kind
to leave a desperate woman in the lurch.

- Lavelle?
- Hello.

- Hi.
- Duane.

I think I'm pregnant by Lester.

Somebody must be making a fortune
off fertility drugs.

Marylou says she won't
give him a divorce.

She says she's pregnant too,
but Lester says it's impossible.

When can you come by?

It'll have to be tonight.
I gotta go to Odessa now.

You hang in there.
This is not the end of the world.

OK.

You could leave that stupid dog
at home sometime.

That dog is the only person
who really loves me.

Howdy.

Run along, Duane.
I don't like you any more.

Why not?

Because I think
you're behaving like a horse's ass.

I might not be quite as black as I've been
painted if Karla was doing the painting.

You're probably blacker.
Karla still loves you.

She doesn't think you're a horse's ass.
I had to figure that out myself.

Do you want to play Eve
in the Centennial pageant?

Eve?

Director asked me to ask you.

And I suppose
you're gonna play Adam, right?

Maybe. Adam hasn't been cast.

Well, call Marylou Marlow if you're
interested. She's the pageant director.

Hello, puppy.
Where are you going, Duane?

I have to go to Odessa.
It's the worst town on earth.

I might like to see the worst town.
I've seen several runners-up.

Come with me. Scenery's not much,
but we could catch up.

Let's go in mine. You can bring the puppy.
It's more comfortable. I might want a nap.

- You don't mind if I take the dog?
- I like to study people and their animals.

Odessa's uglier than this, huh?
I'm not sure I believe that.

- Why are you going there?
- Oh, I'm in debt.

- I know. 12 million. Karla told me.
- There's a man in Odessa who might help.

If he's there.
I'm sure your daddy knew him.

- Are you gonna be long?
- I could be one, two hours maybe.

Then I'd like a motel room.
But I insist on keeping the puppy with me.

He might bother you.
He gets frantic when I'm gone too long.

Are you afraid
I'll woo your dog away from you?

It's a big risk.

If you could get me back in love with you,
you wouldn't have to go to ugly towns.

I might put my daddy's fortune
at your disposal.

I never had you in love with me.

You had me in love with you
and that was in high school.

That's a good point, Duane.
Did I have you madly in love?

Madly.

Guess I once could summon
some pretty mad love.

I hope you're not gonna be too long.

This looks like the kind of place
I could get real depressed.

I won't be over two hours.

Come on, puppy.

Guess we're in this together.

- You make your deal?
- I didn't get turned down.

I can think hopeful thoughts
for two or three weeks. That's something.

Yeah.

Want the other half?

Here, puppy.

I'll take the pickle.

Welcome back. We're talking about
Parnell and Betty Sue Banks.

Betty Sue, Parnell,
very good to see you. Now, er...

I wonder about couples like that.

They look silly but maybe
they're great in the sack.

I've had silly-looking men who were.

I'm too far in debt
to care about anything but getting out.

Karla thinks you get fucked
every five minutes. Do you?

No.

- Well, I like the...
- Remember this is a family show.

Do you think she goes down on him?

I don't know what they do.

You have a dull attitude towards television.

What's the point if you don't speculate on
the sex lives of people on game shows?

Come on, Shorty.
We're leaving our home away from home.

You've been married. How did you do?

I did fine. Are you so far in debt
that it would bother you to rub my feet?

Nope.

Watch more game shows. You see
some lucky people on game shows.

- I haven't tried getting on a game show.
- Game shows are what life's really like.

You win things that look great
but turn out to be junk

and you lose things
you might want to keep for ever.

Just 'cause you're unlucky.

Well, you're pretty good
at foot rubs, Duane.

- Are you really attached to that dog?
- He's my dog.

Or else I'm his person.

I think I've won him away from you,
despite my vow not to.

Maybe it's time
you two tried a trial separation.

You want him? You want Shorty?

He's probably the single
most hated thing in Archer County.

He's not Hitler. He's just a dog.

I have to start letting some living thing
back into my life, even your old dog.

What do I feed him?
I wouldn't want to hurt his digestion.

Shorty's digestion?
Feed him dead skunks, ground-up rocks.

Can I have him, then?

Sure. If he'll go.

Thanks, Duane. And for showing me
the ugliest town in the world.

I'm real glad you could come.
We really didn't catch up, though.

Let's not bother "catching up".

I hate talking about the past
and not just because Benny got killed.

I'm sorry.
It's just one of those things you say.

I'm glad you went with me.

Yeah. I liked that motel room.

Tell that woman I'll be Eve.
I've gotta stop being so reclusive.

Causing the fall of humanity
might be the challenge I need.

She'll be thrilled.

Hey, I'm not mad at you, honey pie.

Shorty, you're too damn dumb
to know what's happening.

Ball! Ball! Ball!

Mike, I won't punish you at all
if you'll just climb down now.

You try. I've been standing on this chair
so long I'm getting dizzy.

Come on, now.

Come on, Mike. Come on, little Mike.

Where is Julie? He'd come down for her.

They've taken up residence at Sonny's
store. Says it's too crazy around here.

I'm gonna whip your butt
if you don't get down!

Where is Nellie? She's his mother.

Nellie's at Ed's explaining
why she don't want to be engaged to him.

What is the matter with Billie Anne?

Dickie smashed all her new furniture
with a tyre iron.

You ought not to leave me alone
on days like this. I can't even get drunk.

The faster I drink,
the faster things happen to sober me up.

Plus I'm worried about Junior.
The bank called his notes.

- Called his notes? How many?
- All of 'em.

Junior just went down the tubes.

If they can call his notes,
they can call mine. Where is Junior?

Took his lariat rope out of the pick-up
and went off down the hill.

Probably hung himself by now.

Ball!

He doesn't realise
he's done anything wrong!

He deserves about a hundred spankings!

Ball! Ball!

Go on.

I talked to Jacy.
She said Shorty's a wonderful companion.

I guess she was just real lonely
and didn't even know it.

I guess so.

Duane, it was real sweet of you
to give her your dog.

- Junior ever come in?
- No, and I hope he don't.

He's just another mouth to feed.

Show a little sympathy. The man just lost
everything he worked 45 years to get.

He's down the hill
trying to rope an oil well right now.

Watch out, now. Don't hurt yourself.

What the hell are you doing, Junior?

Junior.

Not like you to brood.

I haven't done anything but brood
for the last six months.

There isn't anything
to do around here but brood.

- Where's Shorty?
- He went off to live with Jacy.

How's Jacy doing?

- I think she's doing pretty well.
- You might not be the best judge of that.

You've lived with Karla most of your life.
Karla's buoyant.

Not too many are that buoyant.

I like Karla. You're lucky she married you.

Must be the one thing I've done
you approve of.

No. I think it's nice of you
to let Jacy have your dog.

You keep this office too dark. Sunlight
helps you keep a cheerful disposition.

Then how come there are
so many sad people around here?

There's no shortage of sunlight.

Sometimes sadness is just in people.

Look at Sonny. He was sad when
he was a teenager. Never got rid of it.

Sonny avoids me.
I only see him at meetings.

I'd avoid you too if I were Sonny.

You're successful and he isn't.

What do you mean? I'm stone broke.

He's the mayor, owns the hotel, Kwik Sack
and other solvent businesses.

They're not Exxon or Mobil,
but they're solvent. I oughta be sad!

Some people can only see defeat.
You're not that way, Duane.

I might be looking right at defeat myself.

What are you reading about?

Italy. I might move there.
I need to get away from Billie Anne.

- You just married her.
- Stupidest thing I ever did too.

Stop it, Daddy! Please!

Oh, that's a good idea.
I think I'd better stop it.

Dickie, I'm sorry.

There's absolutely no reason
for me to behave that way.

- I'm sorry.
- I didn't hurt you, did I?

No. I just feel a little queasy.

I'll get you a Coke.
It'll settle your stomach.

Billie Anne told your mother
that you smashed all her furniture.

She lies every minute of the day. I kicked
a lawn chair and broke my toenail.

I owe you another apology. I should have
known you wouldn't do anything like that.

She's a good liar.
Mrs d'Olonne thinks I should just leave.

- Mrs who?
- Mrs d'Olonne. You know, Jacy.

She says I can go live
in her house in Italy if I want to.

Did you... and Mrs d'Olonne
really go together once?

Yeah, we sure did.

We went steady in high school.

Italy. That sounds fine.

You're young.

You ought to see the world. You don't
have to make the oil patch your life.

It's been your life though.

That's my limitation.
It don't have to be yours.

Billie Anne's gonna have a shit fit when
she finds out I got Mrs Marlow pregnant.

It's not smart to get too many women
in love with you at the same time.

That's what Mrs d'Olonne says. I tell her
everything. She gives real good advice.

What does she say to do about the baby?

Wait and see
if it looks like me or Mr Marlow.

She says you can't trust married people
about their sex lives.

Even if they claim they never do it, she
says they probably do it once in a while.

- Are the twins here?
- They were. Jacy came and got 'em.

She's in for some fun and games, then.

They're good kids.
They're just full of mischief.

Mischief plus homicidal tendencies.
How's your brain problem?

- Well, I've got some pills.
- Yeah? Do they work?

Oh, well... I don't see movies in the sky...

I haven't lost my car lately -
I guess that's an improvement.

You don't seem too convinced.

No. Pills make me feel
like I've got fuzz on my head.

Sort of a warm fuzz. Not a great feeling.

I'd rather see movies in the sky.

Maybe you ought to lay off the pills
till the Centennial's over.

We're all gonna need our wits about us
once that gets started.

I think my wits live somewhere else now.

- Where is everybody?
- They're spending the night at Jacy's.

- All of 'em?
- All of 'em but me.

Karla wasn't sure
if Jacy gets the good cable.

She says she'll see you
at the pageant rehearsal tomorrow night.

Testing...

Testing.

Testing.

Testing.

Testing!

Here, let me take her.

Testing!

Testing. Testing.

Testing.

You can stop saying "testing".
The mike's obviously working.

Hey, Duane. How's life
without a single soul to come home to?

Oh, Jacy. I'm so glad you're here. We've
so much to talk about. Come over here.

OK. Adam and Eve!
Over here in the Garden of Eden!

Come on, Adam. It's not gonna hurt
but for just a little while.

- Come on.
- All right. I'm coming.

OK. We'll put the tree with
forbidden fruit on it here between you.

Duane, you're here. Jacy, you're here.

Duane, hold your side
so everybody knows you're missing a rib.

- I'm missing a brain.
- Give me this baby.

I don't think Adam and Eve
had had their first-born at this point.

Remember when I was
Homecoming Queen, Duane?

I sure do.

I bet you never thought we'd be standing
here 30 years later as Adam and Eve.

Never would have thought it, Jacy.

I feel like we are, in a way. I feel
like we're the Adam and Eve of this town.

OK now, Jacy. You're gonna have to sing
the song from over here this time.

- Your mother's leaving.
- OK. Bye, Ruth.

Bye. Don't dawdle round, now.

Baby's gotta go to bed.

Whoo!

Oh, there's my ride.
I gotta get going, girls. I'll see you later.

Adios, sayonara... goodbye, Duane.

We're coming.

- Hey, Genevieve.
- I don't see no fish!

I wasn't fishing. I was just boating.

I wish I could boat.
I never could afford one.

Dan and I were saving up to buy a boat
when he was killed.

Guess his coffin was our boat.

It wasn't a month after Jacy's folks
were killed in that damn plane crash.

You can borrow this one
any time, Genevieve.

- I can't even run a boat.
- I rarely use it.

I've been fishing off this bank
all these years.

Lee Roy? What's going on?

- I think we hit that Mississippi!
- We did?

I think we hit that sucker.

We're gonna need
four more sections down here!

How about that?

After three extra innings,
the Anarene Wildcats have done it again.

As usual, every player gets a free
Dr Pepper at Sonny's Kwik Sack.

Good night, folks. Y'all drive safely, now.

- Hey, little Mike!
- Julie, get him. Julie!

Hey, Shorty. I guess I missed the game.

Yes, you did. Jack's team won.

- Your wife's back over at your place.
- Yeah?

- You're not angry I kidnapped your family?
- No.

If they wanna live with you, that's fine.

- You do miss them a little, don't you?
- A little.

Guess you'll have to suffer. I'm taking
Karla and the twins with me to Europe.

- For good?
- Of course not for good!

For a couple of weeks. It'll do 'em good.

Besides, I need them
to help me ease back into a life there.

Be sure and take Dickie too.

If he stays here,
his wife'll probably shoot him.

Or somebody else's husband.

He may fall in love
with one of my daughters.

Maybe we'll have grandkids in common.

You don't understand Dickie. If I was in
the mood for love, I'd keep him for myself.

- He's one in a million.
- Why aren't you in the mood for love?

What does it matter to you?

I'm not telling you why, Duane.

If you want to catch a glimpse of your wife,

you better catch it
while the catching is good.

Come on, Shorty. Get in the back seat.

What a surprise.

Don't try and be witty, Duane.
I'm watching a movie.

I didn't see Junior's pick-up.
Did he go home?

You don't keep up very well, do ya?
He and Billie Anne ran off together.

Dickie's happy as a lark. He's filed
divorce papers accusing her of desertion.

She might come back if things
don't work out with Junior. You look great.

Why wouldn't they work out?
Junior's sweet.

Don't everybody have to be
macho like you.

I don't think I'm macho.

I didn't used to think so, but Jacy's
explained all your problems to me.

Why did Jacy
have to explain my problems to you?

She hasn't seen me for years.

You've seen me every day for 20 years.
Why didn't you explain my problems?

Duane, she has lived in Europe.
Don't get uptight.

I am uptight! I can't help it!
I don't know what's going on!

She says she's taking you and the twins
to Europe. Dickie too. What's going on?

- Nellie wants to go too.
- Why can't I go to Europe?

I've never been to Europe.
Maybe I'd like to go.

And leave your oil well
just when you finally got one?

If to understand people's problems you
have to live in Europe, I wanna move there!

I don't understand anything.
Everything's crazy.

People are running off with each other.
One kiss, they're gone!

Duane, that's just the way life is. Please
talk quieter. You're going to wake the baby.

I don't know what's going on
between you and Jacy.

That's OK. It's none of your business.

I told you not to go imagining things
about my life.

Why can't I?

Because you don't understand
a thing about women and you never will.

Well, I guess I know
a few things about you after 20 years.

- How many things are there to know?
- There's four things to know about you.

- There's a million to know about me.
- Name a few.

New things every day.
They don't have names.

They can just be feelings.

Like these plants
I read about in National Geographic.

They only bloom one hour in 20 years.

I have little feelings like that.

One might only bloom once
during our whole marriage

and you'd be sitting two feet away
and never notice it.

Remember, the Centennial
weekend runs three big days and nights.

That's three big days and nights.

So if you miss the pageant tonight,
you got two more chances to see it.

- Here you are.
- Two, please.

Get on out of here!

There's three big dances.
One every night here on Main Street.

Come on out here
every day and every night.

Who said you could put up a tent
with a mattress in it?

I'm fasting for an oil embargo
and she's fasting for a no-fault divorce.

In the old days,
you two would be stoned with rocks!

Go away or I'll shoot you, you old bully.

I shot two people already...
and you'll be three.

You brazen hussy! You ridiculous Jezebel!

You think I'm afraid of you
and those puny pistols!

Remember this Centennial weekend
runs three big days and nights!

There's $20,000...
Don't forget I gave it to you.

- Somebody'll find it after I'm gone.
- Gone? Where?

After I've committed suicide.

The Centennial's off to a good start.
Why wait?

Lester, this well might solve
all our troubles. That's one reason to wait.

Didn't you read the Wall Street Journal
this morning?

The Saudis are gonna open up the pipes.

They'll show us $5 oil
if that's what it takes to get our attention.

- They're probably bluffing.
- What if they aren't bluffing?

What a life!

My wife's bearing you a grandchild.
Your old girlfriend's bearing me a child.

And unless I'm lucky,
I'm headed for prison.

What do you think the state of Texas
will feed its felons if oil goes to $5 a barrel?

They're gonna make us eat our own
toenails. Or make us eat each other.

Be glad your family's moving to Europe.
Getting out of this madhouse.

No. Karla and the twins are just
going to Europe for a couple of weeks.

- You didn't hear the story I heard.
- What story?

I heard that Karla and Jacy were in love.
It didn't surprise me.

- It didn't?
- No. They're both advanced women.

What's Dickie doing in a Porsche
with Suzie Nolan?

I don't know. I think everybody's
waited till now to go crazy.

Hey, Lee Roy!

Hi, Nellie!

- Charlene!
- Hey, Lavelle!

Hey, Marylou! Hey, Mr Mayor!

Hey, Lester, who's watching the bank?

- Genevieve.
- Yeah.

- Here's for some Excedrin.
- Help yourself.

Bring a chair out here
and sit down for a while. You look tired.

Here comes Jacy.

Hey, Duane! Get up here! Come on!

Stop this float!

That girl never would let you alone.

Yeah, but she's not a girl any more.

The older we get, the more dangerous.

Better run along.

I don't know why you want me up there.

A queen without the captain of the football
team would be like Eve without Adam.

We've still got
that Adam and Eve skit to get through.

What do you mean "get through"?
Don't you think I'll make a good Eve?

I'm the one I'm worried about.

I've been trying to relax, but
everything makes me feel more nervous.

- Including being up here?
- Yup.

Hey, Duane!

Oh, Duane. To them we're a romance.
Come on, wave at 'em.

Jacy!

- Jacy!
- Duane!

I never heard of anybody
being wired to a horse before.

What if the horse falls down
and squashes the old soul?

Shut up, Lee Roy.
Nobody's ever got hurt riding Dobbs.

Hellzapoppin'!

Look at this crowd. There ain't been
this many people in town before.

Here they come.

There they go.

Uh-oh.

Look at that old man go!

Wahoo!

- Down!
- Sit down!

- Oh, no. He's tilting.
- He sure is.

Be right back.

- Dickie!
- Oh, Dickie!

Oh, boy.

You look a little pale, Duane.
Was you worried I'd be killed?

Yeah, plus I think I broke some ribs when
I jumped that kid with the snow cone.

Boy, that was quite a ride.

God, you're stodgy.

I was just doing the update
on my Homecoming Queen kiss.

I figure I should get to kiss in the rodeo
arena at least once every 30 years.

It's ironic you broke all your ribs
before the Adam and Eve skit.

What would a psychiatrist make of that?

- I didn't break all my ribs. Just three.
- That doesn't affect the irony, honey pie.

I wish we could go swimming.

You don't have to really wait around.

The doctor can bring me
after I'm bandaged.

Eve's not supposed to leave Adam
just 'cause it's summer time in the garden.

- Guess we're the only ones in the hospital.
- And it's full of beds, too.

- I don't want you to try and fuck me.
- I wasn't going to.

No, but you tie yourself up
thinking about it when we're together.

If you just relax about it,
we could have fun.

I don't guess I know what you mean.

Conversation, for starters.
Why don't you start one for a change?

I guess I get scared
I'll say something wrong.

What if you did say something wrong?

Think I'd banish you
for some small conversational lapse?

- I guess I must think that.
- Then you're not scared of Karla?

Oh, I'm plenty scared of Karla, but
she and I have survived a lot of mistakes.

I imagine we'll survive a lot more.

I think you could
even survive a few with me.

You have survived a few with me, in fact.

I don't think my ribs
need bandaging all that bad.

Maybe we should just go on back
to the pageant.

OK.

Why did you take my family away?

They're fearless. I need that.

I thought some of it must have come
from you, but maybe it all came from Karla.

You're afraid to sit here with me.

You're scared to death you might
feel something you can't control.

I'm almost there.

Hope the Coach ain't back.

Oh, he won't be home for hours.

Just take it into the garage, Sonny.

OK.

Hello, Duane.
I hope you weren't having a nice dream.

How come you stayed away
from the dance?

He probably spent the evening
feeling guilty

and wishing he knew how to treat women.

- Mexican eggs are ready.
- I'm starving.

I guess Duane just enjoys
sulking around by himself.

- I don't think he's glad to see us.
- It's the hard time I gave him.

What did happen at the dance?

Jacy danced all night with Dickie

and I made do
with whatever drunken slob I could get.

Why don't we sell this house?

We don't really need
this $2 million son of a bitch.

Do you think there's anybody
still rich enough to buy it?

Some lawyers, maybe.
Bankruptcy lawyers.

If they're not rich enough now,
they soon will be.

I forgot how in debt we are.

You're falling in love with Jacy.

Love's the one thing
that'll take your mind off money troubles.

I'm not falling in love with her.

She don't think so either,
but I know better.

You do too.
You're just too scared to admit it.

I'm too middle-aged to be in love.

I'm lucky to have you keep me moving
through my mid-life crisis.

- You hit that on the button.
- Where did Dickie get that Porsche?

- Suzie Nolan bought it for him.
- Suzie bought it for him?

Her husband had all his notes called
and she buys Dickie a Porsche?

It's nice that Dickie likes older women.
He's not a snob about it like some men.

Hello. Hi, Ruth.

Oh, no.

It's a good thing
the little girls weren't hurt.

We'll come right on in.

- What did Dickie do now?
- It's not Dickie.

It's Sonny. He just drove his car right
through the wall of the Stauffers' house.

I wanna live in the jail.

It's only a block from my room.
Besides, it's cleaner.

When I'm feeling in control,
ask Monroe, he'll let me out.

I'm a good cook, play cards
with the deputies, might cheer 'em up.

What did you see in your head
when you ran into the house?

There used to be a garage there.

Ruth and I parked in it hundreds of times.
I just did it like I used to.

It's just lucky
those little girls were outside.

Maybe you'd better
come and live at our house.

- I couldn't live in your house.
- The hot tub's good therapy.

Not with lots of people.
No. Jail... best solution.

I'll give up my driver's licence, too.

I'm gonna go help the Stauffers
get in that new house I gave them.

I don't want him to go away.

I'll just build him a house out by us.
That way he won't get on your nerves.

He's already gone away, honey.
He's just gone away to the past.

We may not get much of a crowd.
Lester's bank closing might put people off.

That's not how it works.
The less bread, the more circuses.

- Damn it. I left my outfit at the house.
- Take my car. You'll make it.

I really feel bad about Sonny.

If you'll talk to me about something
besides Sonny, you can sit here.

You're kinda cute when you're depressed.

When you're hangdog,
I have the impulse to hug you.

I may hug you, but if I do
it's not something you should misinterpret.

I wouldn't dare interpret anything
with you women.

Stop saying "you women".
I'm the only woman here.

- Do you think I've lost Karla?
- Why? Do you really wanna keep her?

Yeah, I do.

- You males like to get things settled.
- It's nice to know what's happening.

You mean it's nice to know
who's gonna take care of you.

You're scared to find out what you really
want to know - if I seduced your wife.

No. I didn't ask you anything like that.

I don't know about you, Duane.
It's possible you're really pretty nice.

Just too attached
to the linear principle or something.

Better get your outfit, Adam. It's nearly
time for us to start the human race.

All right.

- Hi, Sonny.
- I think I'm gonna sue the town.

It's the town that's driven me crazy.

I think it's done it to you too.

I think we're all crazy now.

I don't think I'm crazy.
I admit just about everybody else is.

Sure you are. You drink gallons
of vodka and have tacky boyfriends.

Duane has tacky girlfriends.

Well, you're in a bad mood.

For your information, I like vodka.

And sometimes, Sonny,
it's tacky or nothing.

We're all crazy.
We should all sue the town together.

But we are the town.
There's no point in suing ourselves.

- A wonder we were ever best friends.
- Why?

You're the town success.
I'm the town failure.

It's been that way since high school.

You wouldn't think a winner and a loser
could be friends.

- Duane?
- Yeah.

I could be considered a loser myself.
I've never done very much.

You're not a loser, though.

If the reason I'm not is 'cause
I'm married to a winner, then I am a loser.

Will you stop calling yourself a loser?

You're a beautiful, wonderful woman.
I don't wanna hear you talking like Sonny.

If I'm so wonderful, how come you sleep
with tacky girlfriends instead of me?

You didn't spring to my defence
when Sonny was insulting me.

I wanted to hit him, but last time I hit him
I nearly put his eye out.

It's interesting you hit him over Jacy.
You didn't hit him over me.

- Think she'll ever marry again?
- No. I wouldn't either if you got killed.

- You would too. Least I hope you would.
- You better not hope any such thing!

I don't want any husband but you.
What made you say a thing like that?

I have no idea why I said it.
I'm retreating as fast as I can.

He thinks he's my police escort!

Duane said he hoped
I'd get married again if he died.

Oh, he did?

I was just thinking of your happiness.

What's the matter?
Why are you all packed up?

You're broke, that's why.

You can't afford to pay me and there's
nothing to do. This business is dead.

It's not dead.
I've still got three rigs working.

I don't see why you won't face it, Duane.
You're broke.

When you came to work for me,
oil was $3 a barrel.

Now it's $16 a barrel.
That's not as good as 30 but it's...

When I came to work for you,
you weren't 12 million in debt.

16 is just the price today.
It's gonna go a lot lower before it stops.

OK. You win. Leave if you want to.

That guy in Odessa
said no go on my offer anyway.

Don't sit there and look like that.

I didn't think you'd quit me.

I'll stay if you just want me around, Duane,

but I won't take a salary -
it wouldn't really be right.

You've been very good to me.

Think I've lost Karla?

Do you... wanna keep her?

Why is Sonny living in your trailer?

Why do you think
you can live with someone crazy?

Sonny's a very mild person...
and he loved me once.

I would have been dead long ago
if he hadn't loved me.

It's my place to take him in.

You're getting Christian in your old age.
Sonny is getting sicker.

He thinks he sees movies,
then he thinks he's in movies.

He's way past help by amateurs like us.

What if he wakes up some night...

thinks he's in a movie
and it's The Boston Strangler

and he strangles you or something?

I really wish you'd let me try this, Duane.

I'm an old woman. Nobody would
care much if he strangled me.

I'd care. I'd kill him if he hurt you.

Well... maybe he won't.

Anybody says one mean thing to me,
I'm putting on my ear muffs.

We are gonna write down our hopes
and prophecies for the next 100 years.

They're sealing
the time capsule tomorrow.

My hope is that nobody says
anything mean to me for 100 years.

- That's not my prophecy, though.
- He's been kinda snappish lately.

Duane, if you want to participate,
why don't you sit down and behave?

Her little boy was younger than me
and he got killed. I'd never get killed.

It's bad luck to talk about it.

It was the cable
on the movie set that killed him.

It wasn't covered up
like it was supposed to be.

He just brushed against it,

but it was so full of electricity
that he didn't have a chance.

Now look what you've started.

I wouldn't have brushed against the cable.

You shut up! You've never been on a
movie set! You don't know what you'd do!

You could have put that baby's eye out!

You don't know what you'd do.
You might be killed in five seconds.

Fuckface asshole!

All right, all right!
Don't you hit your sister!

If I catch you, I'm gonna whip your butt!

I can't live in this house any more.
It's driving me crazy!

- Where are you going?
- To beat up Jack!

Sweet family you got.
Not too stable, though.

- Hey, there's Suzie Nolan!
- Hi, y'all.

- Duane. Dickie tell you?
- Tell me what?

We're getting married.
I'm gonna be your daughter-in-law.

Here's the engagement ring. Isn't it pretty?

I think I'll drown myself.

I'll be good for him.
Already got him to stop selling dope.

That's good, but that don't mean
you have to marry him.

Marylou thinks she's pregnant by him.

It's OK with me.
Dickie will make a great daddy.

Maybe I'll bear you a grandson too, Duane.

Duane! I just heard that GG's
gonna sledgehammer Old Texasville.

Oh, God. You can keep the beer, Suzie.

It's a little late to knock down the saloon.
All the sinners are already drunk.

The Lord don't expect me
to win every battle.

He just expects me to keep fighting.

It's punishment time!

The Lord is raining egg bombs
on this haven of sots!

He's set loose the crazy chickens!

Lord! He's freed the hens of hell!

- Where are you getting those eggs?
- From an egg truck!

I just got gang-egged
or egg-banged or somethin'.

Duane!

It's the last night of the Centennial
and you haven't danced with either of us.

I would have, but watching Dickie gives me
an inferiority complex for dancing.

Just 'cause you're a little bit inferior,
no reason to be depressed.

Don't look so sad. You're such
an easy victim, we can't resist.

Don't baby that man. He's been suckering
me for years with those sad looks of his.

I think we're looking at a sad man.

Duane, are you?

No.

You shouldn't lie about your feelings.

You might fool one of us but not both.
We know you too well.

I don't think either one of you
knows me very well.

Dickie's coming in a minute. It's too
hard to dance on those broken eggs.

We're going out to Jimmy's.
You wanna come with us?

No. I think I'll take a walk.

Come on, honey pie. We'll make up
for all the mean things we ever said.

Somebody needs to stick around here.
The twins started this egg fight.

You see? He's always got some excuse
for not having any fun.

I think I'll just take a walk.

Remember the Alamo!

Bye, honey pie!

Oh, sorry.

Can I come in?

I wish you would.

Once those two get sex lives,
we won't have any youngsters.

That's right.
You think we'll even be together?

Didn't we just start our comeback?

- Yeah. It was a real sexy comeback too.
- So why wouldn't we be together?

One sexy comeback
don't mean you can say for sure.

You've put part of me at peace...

You haven't said a word
that would set my mind at peace.

I'm hungry for some breakfast.
You want some eggs, Lee Roy?

I've lost Sonny.
He snuck out while I was showering.

I doubt he'll go far.
Come in and eat breakfast.

We have to look for him. I'd never
forgive myself if anything happened.

- He's not at the Kwik Sack.
- I haven't seen him.

- Maybe he went back to the rodeo arena.
- I'll ride with Ruth and Genevieve.

Oh, my!

Sonny!

Sonny!

No... Help.

Sit down a minute, honey.
Sit down and rest.

I'm not tired.

Oh, come on.

We're starving. Let's all go eat breakfast.

You want to, Sonny?

OK. I am a little hungry.
I guess it is breakfast time.

Come on, let's go, then. Come on.

Let's all get in my car.

We're all going together. Come on, Jacy.

Sonny, why don't you
get in the back with Ruth?

Come on, honey.

Oops!

They're after your dog.

Look at those kids. Just look at those kids.

Oh, Duane. It's like Benny's here.

It makes me feel
something of him's alive...

when I see kids doing things like that.

All children don't die.

Maybe the ones that are alive
carry the lives of the ones that die.

- You know what I mean?
- Can I turn around?

Course you don't know what I mean.

Your little girl and boy are right here.

It's just that...

for a second, now and then,
when I see your kids...

it's like Benny's here too.

You don't know how precious
that is to me.

What's wrong with Uncle Sonny?

I guess he's just a little tired in his mind.

If he makes a run for it,
I'll get him right away.

I don't think he plans to make a run for it.

These Centennials are awesome.
We should have one every year.

- Lee Roy, you wanna get Julie's bike?
- All right.

Come on, Shorty.
Let's all go get some breakfast.

Get over. Go on.

Let's leave the lights on tonight

It's you I wanna hold tight

Why don't I just close the door?

We won't pretend any more

We'll let those old memories die

We'll be just you and I

Somehow it all feels so right

Let's leave the lights on tonight

Let's leave the lights on tonight

It's you I wanna hold tight

Why don't I just close the door?

We won't pretend any more

We'll let those old memories die

We'll be just you and I

Somehow it all feels so right

Let's leave the lights on tonight

Let's leave the lights on tonight

It's you I wanna hold tight

Why don't I just close the door?

Grab your coat and get your hat

Leave you worries on the doorstep

Just direct your feet

To the sunny side of the street

Can't you hear a pitter-pat?

And that happy tune is your step

Life can be so sweet

On the sunny side of the street

I used to walk in the shade

With those blues on parade

But I'm not afraid

This rover crossed over

If I never have a cent

I'll be rich as Rockefeller

Gold dust at my feet

On the sunny side of the street

Way back in my memory
there's a scene that I recall

Of a little run-down cabin in the woods

Where my daddy never promised
that our blue moon would turn gold

But he lay awake nights
wishin' that it would

When the world was on our radio,
hard work was on our minds

We lived our day-to-day
in plain dirt fashion

With ol' overalls and cotton balls

All strapped across your back

Man, it's hard to make believe
there ain't nothing wrong

But Momma kept the Bible read
and Daddy kept our family fed

And somewhere in between
I must have grown

For someday I was dreamin'
that a song that I was singin'

Takes me down the road
to where I wanna go

Now I know

It's a long hard road

Sometimes I remember
when I'd stay up late at night

When the sun-up came,
we got up and went

In the shadows of a working day
our moonlight hour was spent

Singin' songs
along with Grandma's radio

Now I'm beatin' down
an ol' blacktop road

Sleepin' in a sack

Livin' in my memories all in vain

'Cause those city lights
ain't all that bright

Compared to what it's like

To see lightnin' bugs
go dancin' in the rain

Momma played the guitar then

And Daddy made the saw blade bend

And raindrops played the tin roof
like a drum

But I just kept on dreamin'
that a song that I was singin'

Takes me down the road
to where my name is known

Now I'm gone

And it's a long hard road

Yes, I know

It's a long hard road