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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:39,383 Mike likes all the girls (the fat ones, the lean ones, the mean kind dirty clean) All except the green ones 2 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,506 - Do I have what? - Condoms. 3 00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,537 - Condoms? - Yes. 4 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,300 - You're not on the pill? - Yes, but it's not that. 5 00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:01,905 There's some in my purse. - Some what? 6 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:03,946 Con... doms... 7 00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:24,267 Luis, breakfast's ready! 8 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,071 Jesus! 9 00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,185 There should be a law against idiots. 10 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:16,981 She dried her dog off in a microwave! Come on! 11 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,159 - Did it work? - It got cooked to a crisp. 12 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,487 What was that gringa thinking of? 13 00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:25,289 - What breed? - It just says she was American. 14 00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,056 I mean the dog. 15 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,634 A French poodle. You know, the tiny ones. 16 00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,430 - See you later, Paulina. - Paola. 17 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,208 Want to go jogging sometime? - Sure, anytime. 18 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,142 Paola... 19 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:54,322 The slogan? Still? 20 00:04:58,531 --> 00:05:00,761 It's absolutely crucial. 21 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,834 The entire account depends on it. 22 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,335 I know, Gloria. I'm working on it. 23 00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:09,099 Anyway, the commercial is better without it. 24 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:12,339 I want good copy and a good slogan. 25 00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,513 Use your talent. 26 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:17,114 Use your imagination. Use your brains. 27 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,978 Use the computer I gave you. 28 00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:20,948 Just don't use up any more time! 29 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,883 - It's just - - Just nothing! 30 00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:26,581 See you first thing Monday at the office, okay? 31 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,659 I'll bring a slogan, I promise. 32 00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:31,420 You better! 33 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:33,688 Listen... 34 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,894 save me some kisses for Monday, okay? 35 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:38,035 Sure. 36 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,136 Fucking hell! 37 00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:25,213 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os: The envy of Moctezuma. 38 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:29,320 Our national pride. Exclusively from Hamsun-Rasmussen. " 39 00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:33,288 No, that's crap. It stinks. 40 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,923 It's gotta be more - I don't know. 41 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:41,333 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os: The taste of Moctezuma." 42 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,628 No, that's not it either. 43 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:55,074 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os: They're mouth-watering!" 44 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:59,178 Not even close. 45 00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:04,113 "The spice of life"? 46 00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:08,318 No, I don't think so. 47 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:16,634 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os: For a real socko taco." 48 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:21,565 Even worse. That's really shit. 49 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:22,763 Fuck almighty! 50 00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:28,372 And my fever's gone up! 51 00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:36,149 - Hello? - Tom�s? You working? 52 00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:39,415 Trying to, but I've got a fever. What should I take? 53 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,058 Two aspirin. 54 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:43,956 Better still, change your light bulb to 10 watts. 55 00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:46,324 Are you my physician or my electrician? 56 00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,432 - Both. De auditu. - What? 57 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,999 By hearing only. 58 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,364 Invite him. 59 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:55,401 - He can't. He's sick. - Invite him anyway. 60 00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,473 What's a wedding without the cake? 61 00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:01,077 A wedding? Who's getting married? 62 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,711 Bubbles. 63 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,378 Bubbles-Soda? 64 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:08,179 Yeah. Does she owe you something? 65 00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:12,517 - Sort of. When are you leaving? - In 10 minutes. But your fever... 66 00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:15,193 Wait for me. Two aspirins and I'll be ready. 67 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,861 Bubbles, man? 68 00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:19,491 Bubbles. 69 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:15,912 The satisfied cat doesn't worry about the mouse, does he? 70 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,242 - What? - Nothing. 71 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,715 They make a lovely couple, don't they? 72 00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:25,750 An old fling with Bubbles is one thing, but on her wedding day! 73 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,653 You went too far, Tom�s. 74 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:31,023 Poor groom. 75 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,698 Bubbles says, "Darling, you've been cuckolded." 76 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:37,596 And he says, "Honey, how do you know?" 77 00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,536 Clean up your act, Tom�s. 78 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:45,643 You've been doing the same old thing for years. 79 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,574 I swear I'm not what you think I am. 80 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,680 Now you feel guilty. 81 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,941 He who lives by the sword dies by the sword. 82 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,517 You haven't got a chance. 83 00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,354 Want some coffee? 84 00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,895 No, thanks. I've got lots of work to do. 85 00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:12,629 - Have you met Clarisa? - From the penthouse? 86 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:16,330 No, Clarisa who just moved in next door. 87 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,703 In between us? 88 00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:21,903 No, I haven't seen her. - Just as well. 89 00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:27,108 Who do they think I am? 90 00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:41,030 Mateo? It's Tom�s. 91 00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:44,069 I'm still sick. I've got a fever. 92 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:48,764 - Did you change the lightbulb? - Come on. This is serious. I can't work. 93 00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,703 What are your symptoms? 94 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,707 Symptoms? I don't know. 95 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:55,346 I feel lousy all over. 96 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,608 Take two aspirin and come to my office tomorrow. 97 00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:00,718 Your office? 98 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:04,551 Blood everywhere, 99 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,852 and a terrible pain in my insides. 100 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,527 Unbearable. 101 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,720 The operating room was spinning. 102 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:14,661 I felt like I was giving birth to a porcupine. 103 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:18,769 My husband kept trying to help: "Push! Push!" 104 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:21,736 Then I saw my little Ricardo, 105 00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:25,240 and it was tears of joy. 106 00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:34,814 Is that him? 107 00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,851 He's not so hot. 108 00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,524 I don't know. You gotta envy the guy. 109 00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:43,695 Inter nos, he's been featured in several Pap smears. 110 00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,659 Not mine. 111 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:47,390 Not yet. 112 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:50,233 You think I don't see you staring at my belly? 113 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,368 What? 114 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:55,028 I'm not sick. I'm just pregnant. 115 00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,971 If you want to look, just say so. 116 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,743 Mr. Tom�s, come this way, please. 117 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,319 Nosy creep! 118 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:15,227 - You have some white spots. - White spots? 119 00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:18,794 We need a throat smear and blood tests. 120 00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:21,660 You want to take blood? With a needle? 121 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,732 Don't argue. I'm your doctor. 122 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:30,740 And a hematic biometry to see if there are any anomalies, 123 00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:34,777 a complete blood analysis and an HIV test 124 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:38,848 to see if you have any immunological deficiency, like AIDS. 125 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,187 AIDS? 126 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:47,555 Who do you think I am? - You're Tom�s Tom�s. 127 00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:50,452 You can't take chances. There's always a risk. 128 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:55,291 A blood transfusion, an infected syringe. It can happen to anyone. 129 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,862 And you get laid a lot. 130 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:01,562 - You want me to boil them first? - No, just get tested. 131 00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:05,866 Go with Sylvia. She'll take your blood. 132 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,204 Does it hurt? 133 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:17,244 Will this hurt? 134 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,721 First time? 135 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,560 It's very painful. 136 00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:26,521 Very? 137 00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:30,968 You mean extremely! 138 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,331 Good thing you've never had a baby. 139 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,106 God forbid. 140 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,740 Be brave, Mr. Tom�s. 141 00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:41,875 Dr. Mateo says you're a real man. 142 00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:44,447 He says things even he doesn't understand. 143 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,343 You look great in white. 144 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,045 They make me wear it. 145 00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:54,090 Want to watch the tube fill up? 146 00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:58,561 Here goes the second one. - Not another one, please. 147 00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:08,863 I guess you get used to these sorts of things. 148 00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:15,576 I mean it, Sylvia. White makes your eyes glow. 149 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,514 Does that hurt, Mr. Tom�s? 150 00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,157 Don't jiggle it. 151 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,093 What are you doing tonight? - I don't know. 152 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,957 Oh, yes. I have a date. 153 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:36,725 - That's not true. - How do you know? 154 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:40,702 Your words can lie, but your pulse gives you away. 155 00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,371 How about my place? 156 00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:49,570 These you can boil. You'll need them for the fecal analysis. 157 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,750 What do you think of Sylvia? 158 00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,014 So-so. 159 00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:56,847 Really? Don't you think she's hot? 160 00:15:57,056 --> 00:16:00,583 - She's all yours. - I need a favor. 161 00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:04,558 Teresa and I are going to a conference. 162 00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:09,200 Here are the house keys. Could you water the plants and feed the fish? 163 00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:11,767 Okay. When will you be back? 164 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,632 In three days. 165 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,938 You can take the cotton off now. 166 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:26,083 "The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the spout again." (Endless refrain) 167 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:44,666 Listen, you can't just stand your boss up 168 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:47,065 whenever you friggin'feel like it. 169 00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:49,832 I'm sorry, Gloria. I was working, 170 00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:51,669 and I had to see the doctor. 171 00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:53,367 Not another word. I'm on my way over. 172 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,304 Now? 173 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,709 How about tomorrow at your office? 174 00:16:57,916 --> 00:16:59,144 I won't stand you up again. 175 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,616 No, it has to be today. I need that ad campaign. 176 00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:06,484 You live in Number 8, right? - Yes... I mean no. Number 5. 177 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,182 I'll be right there. 178 00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:19,395 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os: The secret of the pyramids." 179 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,505 I'm fucking pathetic today. 180 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,685 You look great in black too. 181 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,880 It's in fashion. Just another uniform. 182 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:41,924 It looks great on you. Makes your eyes sparkle. 183 00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,118 Must be the contact lenses. 184 00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:47,492 You look just like the girl in the comm... The commercial! 185 00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:50,662 I've got to come up with a slogan. - A what? 186 00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:53,599 - A line for an ad. - For what? 187 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,535 G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os. 188 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,266 Those? They're the worst! 189 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,212 I don't need reviews. I need help. 190 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,748 Any ideas? - Isn't that your job? 191 00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,883 Well, I'm sick, and I can't think of anything. 192 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:10,077 It's so easy. I've got one. 193 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:13,486 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os. Pick a peck of pickled peppers." 194 00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,592 Are you crazy? 195 00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:18,991 That's their slogan now. We want to change their image. 196 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:20,961 Something historical. 197 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,097 I've got it. 198 00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,068 "Chile has a pretty name, 199 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,606 but Mexico has the best chilies: 200 00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,209 G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os." 201 00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:36,472 Not bad. Not bad at all. 202 00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:40,914 Sit here and watch the commercial. 203 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,248 The copy's by the computer. I'll be right back. 204 00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:58,664 I was just borrowing a cup of sugar. 205 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,276 I forgot the keys. Hold this a moment. 206 00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,856 Have you seen some keys around? 207 00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:31,828 These? 208 00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:34,904 No, on a Bayer aspirin key ring. 209 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:38,167 I watched the commercial, and now I know what you want. 210 00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:40,504 I have a few ideas. 211 00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:43,772 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os: For real royal flavor." 212 00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:46,075 "Real" and "royal" - get it? 213 00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:48,853 Not bad, eh? 214 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:54,390 The other is a slight variation. See if you like this better. 215 00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:58,586 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os. A conquest of two worlds." 216 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,059 Perfect. 217 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,926 The other is almost the same. 218 00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:06,865 Where are you going? - My car's double-parked. 219 00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,097 "The best of both worlds." 220 00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:13,477 "The best of both worlds." 221 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:14,577 What? 222 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,907 G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os. 223 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,319 Sorry I took so long with the slogan. 224 00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,463 You know I'm not usually like that. 225 00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:35,155 I was looking for something shorter, 226 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:38,996 something stronger, something explosive. 227 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,604 The way a haiku achieves an explosion of images. 228 00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:45,641 - Something more creative. - Exactly. 229 00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:48,813 Something more than just a simple slogan. 230 00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,676 Have you seen the fish food? - Over there. 231 00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:55,953 I didn't know you had fish. 232 00:20:56,154 --> 00:20:59,988 They're my pals. See that one? It's a sawfish. 233 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,456 He's always chasing the guppy. 234 00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:06,392 Cleo here likes dried shrimp, but I ran out. 235 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:09,127 You know how to get them to eat? 236 00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,529 Don't they eat by themselves? 237 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:14,297 What about the ad campaign? 238 00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:16,770 The ad campaign? 239 00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:21,103 Ah, of course. 240 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,615 I left it around here somewhere. 241 00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:28,283 Where are you going? 242 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:34,054 Why don't you water the plants while I get the copy? 243 00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:37,160 No, you're not going anywhere. 244 00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:40,695 - I'm going to my car. - You don't have a car. 245 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:45,328 Do you have the campaign or not? - Yes. 246 00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:51,801 What's wrong? 247 00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:54,501 Wait a minute. I have to use the bathroom. 248 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,578 What's wrong? 249 00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:00,377 I'll be right back. 250 00:22:52,437 --> 00:22:56,737 The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the water spout 251 00:22:57,609 --> 00:23:01,909 Out came the rain and washed the spider out. 252 00:23:06,084 --> 00:23:08,382 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os: 253 00:23:08,587 --> 00:23:11,147 A tradition preserved... 254 00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:14,251 and preserves with tradition." 255 00:23:15,293 --> 00:23:18,285 When did you get back? - I never left. 256 00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:23,392 You know, I thought writing commercials was a job for idiots, 257 00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:24,796 but it's fun. 258 00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:27,665 - It has its drawbacks. - Like what? 259 00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:30,273 Like putting up with the boss. 260 00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:34,945 Don't be silly. We all have a boss to put up with. 261 00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:38,378 But there are bosses... and then there are bosses. 262 00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:42,951 Why don't you make yourself more comfortable? 263 00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:45,555 I'm not as easy as you think. 264 00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:47,825 No, of course not. 265 00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:15,617 - When did you come out? - I never went in. 266 00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:19,279 Here's the campaign singing the praises 267 00:24:19,491 --> 00:24:22,756 of G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os, plus lots of slogans - 268 00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:26,654 Never keep a woman waiting. 269 00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:31,664 What's wrong? 270 00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:34,038 I have to go to the bathroom. 271 00:24:51,857 --> 00:24:57,921 Out came the rain and washed the spider out... 272 00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:20,174 Sylvia, you really look great in black. 273 00:26:20,378 --> 00:26:22,869 Would you please knock it off? 274 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:27,643 I'll just knock this off and we're set. 275 00:26:28,219 --> 00:26:31,985 Let's do this some other time. It's getting a little tedious. 276 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:34,991 You animal! 277 00:26:50,675 --> 00:26:52,199 - Condoms? - Yes. 278 00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:55,140 - You're not on the pill? - It's not that. 279 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:57,281 I think I brought some. 280 00:27:00,752 --> 00:27:03,118 Con... dom. 281 00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:08,685 How glor... ious! - Gloria! 282 00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:11,491 I have to go to the bathroom. 283 00:27:17,102 --> 00:27:18,694 ... and washed the spider out 284 00:30:12,076 --> 00:30:14,601 Tomorrow. Let's wait till tomorrow. 285 00:30:25,056 --> 00:30:26,853 Wait a sec! 286 00:30:29,127 --> 00:30:31,891 The best of both worlds! 287 00:30:32,096 --> 00:30:36,465 - Real royal flavor. - "Real" and "royal" - get it? 288 00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:38,798 Jalape�os! 289 00:30:39,370 --> 00:30:41,201 I have to use the bathroom. 290 00:30:51,816 --> 00:30:55,479 Yes, Mateo. Sylvia is hot. 291 00:31:02,093 --> 00:31:06,655 The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the water spout 292 00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:23,771 Awaken 293 00:32:23,975 --> 00:32:28,173 Sweet love of my life 294 00:32:38,289 --> 00:32:40,484 What a peaceful morning. 295 00:32:40,692 --> 00:32:42,922 You're all ready to go! 296 00:32:46,331 --> 00:32:50,495 Forgive me for disturbing your dreams 297 00:32:50,835 --> 00:32:52,530 But I couldn't help myself 298 00:32:58,876 --> 00:33:02,004 This bastard is just a myth! 299 00:33:18,029 --> 00:33:20,657 - Where are you going? - To get the paper. 300 00:33:20,865 --> 00:33:24,301 - Don't leave. - I have to read my horoscope. 301 00:33:27,205 --> 00:33:29,901 Awaken 302 00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:34,469 Sweet love of my life 303 00:34:02,340 --> 00:34:05,798 - Weren't you in the bathroom? - I can't go without the paper. 304 00:34:06,010 --> 00:34:07,739 So where is it? 305 00:34:07,945 --> 00:34:11,472 I lent it to my neighbor. He lends me his lawnmower. 306 00:34:11,682 --> 00:34:15,709 What are you - Houdini? Disappearing, reappearing! 307 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:20,448 You left me high and dry. Why did I even come? 308 00:34:20,658 --> 00:34:23,684 You're all show and no action. I'm leaving! 309 00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:26,796 These Japanese guys are great! 310 00:34:28,332 --> 00:34:30,732 It's Dr. Mateo and his wife! 311 00:34:30,935 --> 00:34:33,836 - Let me out! - Don't tell them I was here! 312 00:34:34,038 --> 00:34:36,438 Not a word. Now let me out! 313 00:34:38,943 --> 00:34:41,173 Mateo, who's this woman? 314 00:34:41,379 --> 00:34:43,108 I don't know. A patient. 315 00:34:43,314 --> 00:34:44,576 Dr. Mateos! 316 00:34:44,782 --> 00:34:47,273 What's she doing here? 317 00:34:48,486 --> 00:34:50,784 - In flagrante. - That one I know. 318 00:34:56,794 --> 00:34:59,262 Tom�s, you didn't mention we had visitors. 319 00:34:59,464 --> 00:35:01,364 Doctor, can you see me on Friday? 320 00:35:01,566 --> 00:35:03,591 I don't know. Speak to my secretary. 321 00:35:03,801 --> 00:35:07,931 Give him an inch and he'll take a mile. Did you water my plants? 322 00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:10,004 Of course. What are you doing here? 323 00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:14,042 The air conditioning broke down, so they moved the conference here. 324 00:35:14,245 --> 00:35:16,372 Did you feed my fish? 325 00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:18,446 They wouldn't eat. Right, Gloria? 326 00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:22,483 They're not your fish and this isn't your apartment. 327 00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:24,120 You little shit! 328 00:35:25,056 --> 00:35:27,354 You'll never do this to me again. 329 00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:31,658 Please forgive me, Doctor. 330 00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:34,825 I'm so ashamed, ma'am. 331 00:35:35,032 --> 00:35:36,624 - The campaign. - What? 332 00:35:36,834 --> 00:35:38,495 Don't forget the campaign. 333 00:35:38,703 --> 00:35:39,829 This too. 334 00:35:45,843 --> 00:35:47,970 Some mariachis came to serenade, 335 00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:49,874 and a dog barked nonstop. 336 00:35:50,081 --> 00:35:53,209 He had his boss in my apartment and another woman in his. 337 00:35:53,417 --> 00:35:57,877 His boss left satisfied, if a bit angry. 338 00:35:58,089 --> 00:36:03,322 But he only managed to just penetrate the other woman. 339 00:36:03,528 --> 00:36:05,223 Twice. 340 00:36:06,197 --> 00:36:08,165 When Teresa and I arrived, 341 00:36:08,366 --> 00:36:12,393 we caught the corpus delicti singing in our bed. 342 00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:14,865 Who's his boss? 343 00:36:15,072 --> 00:36:18,235 A patient of mine. Mrs. Gold. Just imagine! 344 00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:22,435 - And the other woman? - Some girl who writes slogans. 345 00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:34,079 Hello? 346 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:43,326 Tom�s, do you happen to know a certain Sylvia? 347 00:36:46,971 --> 00:36:49,030 Sylvia Silva, the nurse. 348 00:36:49,473 --> 00:36:51,464 Don't play dumb with me, 349 00:36:51,676 --> 00:36:53,234 you little shit! 350 00:36:53,444 --> 00:36:55,207 You're fired! 351 00:37:09,694 --> 00:37:12,322 PHYSICIAN'S COPY 352 00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:14,326 TEST RESULTS 353 00:37:19,503 --> 00:37:20,800 HIV - AIDS 354 00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:24,537 NEGATIVE 355 00:37:27,478 --> 00:37:29,275 PATIENT'S COPY 356 00:37:30,982 --> 00:37:33,314 Go pick a peck of pickled peppers. 357 00:37:34,452 --> 00:37:36,215 That's real royal flavor. 358 00:37:37,054 --> 00:37:39,818 The best of both worlds. 359 00:37:40,224 --> 00:37:42,454 The true conquest. 360 00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:46,597 I'll give you chilies, you bastard! 361 00:37:51,202 --> 00:37:55,536 As Don Wolfango said, I've got a toothache in my heart. 362 00:38:17,228 --> 00:38:18,286 Shit! 363 00:38:18,529 --> 00:38:20,463 Takeshi's asking if you've been to Osaka. 364 00:38:21,065 --> 00:38:23,795 Why did you drag me here with these damn Japs? 365 00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:34,600 You wanted to see me, 366 00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:37,713 and I've got to go sightseeing with these doctors from the conference. 367 00:38:37,915 --> 00:38:41,976 And they aren't fools. Takeshi is a genius. 368 00:38:42,186 --> 00:38:44,552 He invented an electronic contraceptive device. 369 00:38:45,790 --> 00:38:49,487 Audaces fortuna iuvat, man. - Who taught you all that bullshit? 370 00:38:49,694 --> 00:38:52,686 - The Jesuits. Why? - Just wondering. 371 00:38:53,364 --> 00:38:58,131 Mateo, I'm in bad shape. It's not just losing my job. 372 00:38:58,336 --> 00:39:01,328 Something's gotten to me. - You need some dough? 373 00:39:01,539 --> 00:39:03,131 Don't be a jerk. 374 00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:04,933 It's Clarisa. 375 00:39:05,576 --> 00:39:06,941 Tell me about her. 376 00:39:07,144 --> 00:39:09,510 Neighbors can be trouble. 377 00:39:09,714 --> 00:39:12,808 I know. But I'm in a daze. I can't stop thinking about her. 378 00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:15,379 I think I'm in love. 379 00:39:15,586 --> 00:39:18,817 You, in love? Tell me another fairy tale. 380 00:39:20,624 --> 00:39:22,091 All right. 381 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:25,590 She's a stewardess. I don't know what airline. 382 00:39:25,796 --> 00:39:30,392 She's engaged to a pilot and moved in with him. I don't know his name. 383 00:39:30,601 --> 00:39:32,796 They're getting married next month. 384 00:39:33,003 --> 00:39:34,334 Married? 385 00:39:34,538 --> 00:39:37,769 Yes. If you want to know more, ask Teresa. 386 00:39:37,975 --> 00:39:41,934 You coming to the Ballet Folkl�rico? - Spare me. 387 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,178 Come on. It's great. 388 00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,544 Airplanes are kind of cool, aren't they? 389 00:39:51,021 --> 00:39:54,081 Claustrophobia? Yes. 390 00:39:55,459 --> 00:39:58,451 I felt like opening the door and jumping. 391 00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:01,965 The man I loved was cheating on me. 392 00:40:02,166 --> 00:40:04,760 I was depressed, working on a DC-10. 393 00:40:06,203 --> 00:40:09,229 The ocean, the clouds... 394 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:13,043 the plane soaring through the vast sky. 395 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:15,735 I swear I felt like jumping. 396 00:40:16,213 --> 00:40:18,613 Luckily, the captain called me - it was Carlos! 397 00:40:19,283 --> 00:40:20,375 That's great. 398 00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:23,747 If Mateo ever cheats on me, I'll kill him! 399 00:40:23,954 --> 00:40:25,785 I'll kill the bastard! 400 00:40:33,931 --> 00:40:36,593 At last, Teresa - I'm in love! 401 00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:40,095 If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. 402 00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:42,864 No, Teresa, this is true love. 403 00:40:43,073 --> 00:40:45,098 Tell me about Clarisa. 404 00:40:45,643 --> 00:40:48,976 She's an angel sent to show me the error of my ways. 405 00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:53,173 She has an inner beauty. Have you seen her eyes? 406 00:40:55,186 --> 00:40:57,086 They're like - 407 00:40:58,722 --> 00:41:01,247 She would be a true conquest. 408 00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:04,189 By the way, can you lend me your thermom- 409 00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:06,763 I think you two have met. 410 00:41:07,398 --> 00:41:08,558 Clarisa Negrete... 411 00:41:08,766 --> 00:41:10,063 Tom�s Tom�s. 412 00:41:12,102 --> 00:41:14,969 - Pleased to meet you. - The pleasure is mine. 413 00:41:15,773 --> 00:41:18,207 Get me that thermometer, would you? 414 00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:27,110 You're a stewardess, right? 415 00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:29,548 Flight attendant. 416 00:41:29,787 --> 00:41:31,345 Ah, flight attendant. 417 00:41:35,125 --> 00:41:36,092 Right. 418 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,618 Right. 419 00:41:41,899 --> 00:41:43,366 Beautiful night, isn't it? 420 00:41:45,369 --> 00:41:47,837 Yes, beautiful. 421 00:41:48,973 --> 00:41:49,997 Cool. 422 00:41:50,941 --> 00:41:52,203 Cool. 423 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,308 Here. 424 00:41:58,182 --> 00:41:59,979 I believe this is yours too. 425 00:42:01,819 --> 00:42:04,481 If you'll excuse me. See you later. 426 00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:06,087 Good night. 427 00:42:13,764 --> 00:42:15,197 Shit! 428 00:43:27,972 --> 00:43:28,961 Sweetheart! 429 00:43:37,815 --> 00:43:39,282 Good morning. 430 00:43:53,230 --> 00:43:56,290 - No one undresses the naked. - Lend me your robe. 431 00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,433 Ah, to be young and foolish. 432 00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,798 She must think I'm sick. 433 00:44:03,007 --> 00:44:05,032 You are sick, aren't you? 434 00:44:07,244 --> 00:44:08,677 Shit! 435 00:44:14,351 --> 00:44:16,148 Shit! 436 00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:38,604 Tom�s, did you read the paper? 437 00:44:38,809 --> 00:44:42,802 Not yet. Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday and this morning. 438 00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:44,640 Someone took my robe. 439 00:44:44,848 --> 00:44:47,214 To each his own. 440 00:44:47,651 --> 00:44:49,881 Please don't think I'm crazy, 441 00:44:50,087 --> 00:44:52,851 or that I like to cover up with sensational headlines. 442 00:44:53,057 --> 00:44:55,491 Adam used a fig leaf. 443 00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:57,183 That's true. 444 00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:01,296 Need help? 445 00:45:04,735 --> 00:45:07,499 Are you in a hurry? - Not quite the Concorde, but yes. 446 00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:10,538 I just wanted to see if maybe - 447 00:45:10,941 --> 00:45:12,909 You caught me at a very bad time. 448 00:45:13,110 --> 00:45:16,841 Wait until you've flown without air conditioning. 449 00:45:17,147 --> 00:45:19,047 Perhaps when - 450 00:45:19,750 --> 00:45:22,548 Clarisa, I swear I'm not usually like this. 451 00:45:22,753 --> 00:45:24,846 I mean, I am, but - 452 00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:28,650 Look, I'm flying Oaxaca-M�rida- Canc�n-Mexico City today. 453 00:45:28,859 --> 00:45:31,555 We'll talk when I get back, okay? - Sure. 454 00:45:32,129 --> 00:45:33,562 - Do I look all right? - Great. 455 00:45:33,764 --> 00:45:35,664 It's a captain's hat. See you. 456 00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:37,094 Here. 457 00:45:38,969 --> 00:45:40,834 Have a good flight. 458 00:45:59,056 --> 00:46:02,548 Excuse me, miss. I've brought my fecal samples. 459 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:03,886 Just leave them. 460 00:46:04,128 --> 00:46:06,096 They came out great. 461 00:46:06,296 --> 00:46:08,628 That's what they all say. 462 00:46:51,175 --> 00:46:54,440 - Hello? - Tom�s? Mateo. 463 00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:57,580 Do me a favor. Take Takeshi and Koyi sightseeing. 464 00:46:57,781 --> 00:46:59,043 Right now? 465 00:46:59,249 --> 00:47:01,444 I can't. I'm busy. 466 00:47:01,652 --> 00:47:03,779 Come on, just this once. 467 00:47:03,987 --> 00:47:06,888 I can't. I've got things to do. 468 00:47:07,090 --> 00:47:09,923 Hold on a minute. 469 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:35,516 Nolens volens. Like it or not, show them around town. 470 00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:39,018 You owe us, and we've had it up to here with sushi. 471 00:47:39,223 --> 00:47:42,317 - But they don't speak Spanish. - Use sign language. 472 00:47:44,761 --> 00:47:46,353 I don't have a car. 473 00:47:46,563 --> 00:47:49,327 Take ours. We'll take a cab to the movies. 474 00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:51,398 - Where should I take them? - Let's see. 475 00:47:51,602 --> 00:47:55,538 Try Plaza Garibaldi. - Or the Paseo de la Reforma. 476 00:47:55,739 --> 00:47:58,970 - What are you seeing? - The latest Kurosawa. See you. 477 00:47:59,176 --> 00:48:01,610 Thank God - a day without flashbulbs! 478 00:49:15,018 --> 00:49:17,179 Anything you'd like to hear, sir? 479 00:49:24,728 --> 00:49:28,095 I fuckin' love broads. I love 'em. 480 00:49:28,398 --> 00:49:30,332 I can't help it, man. 481 00:49:30,534 --> 00:49:34,971 And you know what? I've been a real fuckhead with all of 'em. 482 00:49:35,605 --> 00:49:40,042 But what can I do? I'm weak. What am I supposed to do? 483 00:49:42,679 --> 00:49:45,011 I swear I'm not that way. 484 00:49:45,215 --> 00:49:47,513 I'm not that way, man. 485 00:49:48,352 --> 00:49:52,721 But what can I do? It's too late. I can't change. 486 00:50:00,530 --> 00:50:04,364 You know what? For the first time, I'm in love 487 00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:07,537 like a fucking romantic. 488 00:50:08,138 --> 00:50:10,663 And I haven't got a chance in hell. 489 00:50:10,874 --> 00:50:13,672 And it's not her body, man. 490 00:50:14,211 --> 00:50:17,669 It's what she's awakened in me. 491 00:50:23,620 --> 00:50:26,054 If Clarisa turns me down, 492 00:50:26,256 --> 00:50:28,053 it's harakiri, man. 493 00:50:28,258 --> 00:50:31,193 Harakiri, you understand? 494 00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:54,882 Fucking asshole Jap. 495 00:50:55,519 --> 00:50:58,613 I love you, you fucker. 496 00:51:01,558 --> 00:51:03,549 I fuckin' love you, Takeshi. 497 00:51:31,354 --> 00:51:33,322 There goes my neighbor. 498 00:52:05,188 --> 00:52:08,282 They're making me get married, but I don't want to. 499 00:52:19,002 --> 00:52:20,993 Castrato. 500 00:52:42,459 --> 00:52:43,926 A big shot, huh? 501 00:52:44,127 --> 00:52:45,958 No, a big hot-shit. 502 00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:49,530 No, big hot sauce! 503 00:53:00,610 --> 00:53:03,909 I'm faking, Tom�s. I'm faking. 504 00:53:20,096 --> 00:53:21,586 What's wrong? 505 00:53:29,506 --> 00:53:30,564 You okay? 506 00:53:30,774 --> 00:53:32,674 What the fuck are you doing here? 507 00:53:32,876 --> 00:53:36,642 You don't remember? I was jogging, and you picked me up. 508 00:53:36,846 --> 00:53:38,973 It was all a nightmare. 509 00:53:39,182 --> 00:53:41,150 You're a nightmare. 510 00:53:41,351 --> 00:53:46,311 I'm sick of all you fucking broads, and all those fuckers, 511 00:53:46,523 --> 00:53:48,684 and the whole fucking world. 512 00:53:59,102 --> 00:54:01,002 There's nothing clean left. 513 00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:04,802 We shit on everything. 514 00:54:05,008 --> 00:54:07,476 Nobody knows where he is or what he wants. 515 00:54:07,677 --> 00:54:12,444 We're just a bunch of floating shit, afraid to breathe 'cause we might die. 516 00:54:12,882 --> 00:54:16,079 God should flush us down once and for all! 517 00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:18,750 - Tom�s? - What do you want? 518 00:54:19,990 --> 00:54:21,457 Where's Luc�a? 519 00:54:21,658 --> 00:54:24,991 You must have said something. She just ran out in a panic. 520 00:54:25,195 --> 00:54:28,392 She couldn't take the truth. What do you want? 521 00:54:28,598 --> 00:54:31,499 What you did to Takeshi wasn't right. 522 00:54:31,701 --> 00:54:33,566 What I did to him? 523 00:54:34,070 --> 00:54:36,334 Takeshi's a kamikaze. 524 00:54:37,574 --> 00:54:39,735 You left him at the wrong hotel. 525 00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:43,310 He had to call a cab and carry Koyi back to their own hotel. 526 00:54:43,513 --> 00:54:46,346 I thought he was staying at the Nikko. 527 00:54:46,549 --> 00:54:49,211 He said everyone should drive a Nissan. 528 00:54:49,419 --> 00:54:51,387 Let it be a lesson to him. 529 00:54:51,588 --> 00:54:55,388 - What's wrong with Tom�s? - He's feeling seasick. 530 00:54:55,592 --> 00:54:57,787 Dizzy and thirsty. Completely hung over. 531 00:54:58,328 --> 00:55:00,888 I saw his tests. It's nothing too serious. 532 00:55:01,698 --> 00:55:05,691 He's got strep. Penicillin will take care of it. 533 00:55:05,902 --> 00:55:09,167 But I told him to avoid any close encounters, for health reasons. 534 00:55:09,372 --> 00:55:11,636 I really got him good this time! 535 00:55:16,479 --> 00:55:23,385 For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. 536 00:55:23,586 --> 00:55:26,885 Newton's Third Law 537 00:55:27,524 --> 00:55:30,493 - I'm going to die! - Why? 538 00:55:30,694 --> 00:55:34,255 It was positive! I'm going to die, Paola! 539 00:55:34,464 --> 00:55:38,161 - Does your husband know? - I just found out myself! 540 00:55:52,315 --> 00:55:54,442 It's Paola. How are you? 541 00:55:54,651 --> 00:55:55,618 Still alive. 542 00:55:55,819 --> 00:55:58,686 There's something you ought to know. 543 00:55:58,888 --> 00:56:02,915 A friend of mine was seeing an irresponsible guy like you 544 00:56:03,126 --> 00:56:05,321 who never used a condom. 545 00:56:05,528 --> 00:56:07,325 What's that got to do with me? 546 00:56:07,530 --> 00:56:09,395 The guy has AIDS. 547 00:56:11,234 --> 00:56:15,568 Listen, baby, AIDS and I have got a bilateral nonaggression pact. 548 00:56:15,772 --> 00:56:18,366 The problem is I was her husband's lover, 549 00:56:18,575 --> 00:56:23,137 and since you and I got together recently, you should take precautions. 550 00:56:23,346 --> 00:56:25,109 Thanks for letting me know. 551 00:56:25,315 --> 00:56:29,843 I can tell you a good place to go for self-hypnosis. 552 00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:31,520 Bye. 553 00:57:59,876 --> 00:58:04,210 This is a message for Dr. Mateos, extension 4232, 554 00:58:04,414 --> 00:58:06,644 from Tom�s Tom�s. 555 00:58:07,183 --> 00:58:10,880 Tell him he's an asshole for not having the balls - 556 00:58:11,087 --> 00:58:15,148 that's with a B - to tell me I have AIDS! 557 00:58:15,358 --> 00:58:18,225 No, you can't get AIDS over the phone, ma'am! 558 00:58:34,477 --> 00:58:35,808 Paola. 559 00:58:37,347 --> 00:58:39,178 That bitch! 560 00:58:57,100 --> 00:59:00,695 Dr. Rold�n, you dropped your forceps in the cake. 561 00:59:10,914 --> 00:59:14,315 A message for Dr. Mateos from Tom�s Tom�s: 562 00:59:14,517 --> 00:59:18,578 You're an asshole for not having the balls - that's with a B - 563 00:59:18,788 --> 00:59:21,416 to tell the poor guy he has AIDS. 564 00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:25,088 AIDS? Tom�s? What's wrong with him? 565 01:00:05,234 --> 01:00:06,599 Doctor? 566 01:00:06,803 --> 01:00:09,465 Did you look at Tom�s's test results? 567 01:00:09,672 --> 01:00:11,936 Of course. It's my responsibility. 568 01:00:12,141 --> 01:00:14,132 You didn't find anything serious, did you? 569 01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:16,073 Nothing. Why? 570 01:00:16,946 --> 01:00:20,074 It's just that I played a bad joke on him. 571 01:00:20,283 --> 01:00:21,250 I know. 572 01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:23,578 You jiggled the needle when you drew his blood. 573 01:00:23,786 --> 01:00:25,276 There's more. 574 01:00:25,755 --> 01:00:27,985 I marked his HIV test positive. 575 01:00:28,891 --> 01:00:30,825 Positive! 576 01:00:32,428 --> 01:00:35,329 And I told him to abstain! 577 01:00:36,432 --> 01:00:40,095 No wonder! He must be living a nightmare! 578 01:00:40,303 --> 01:00:42,965 Lmagine! That should calm him down a bit! 579 01:00:43,172 --> 01:00:46,141 Calm him down? He's probably out of his mind right now? 580 01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:49,134 Positive! 581 01:00:49,345 --> 01:00:50,778 AIDS! 582 01:00:51,848 --> 01:00:55,807 Sylvia, why'd you do that to poor Tom�s? 583 01:00:59,722 --> 01:01:02,054 You've been an asshole, Tom�s. 584 01:01:02,792 --> 01:01:05,158 You wasted your time 585 01:01:05,895 --> 01:01:07,658 and your life. 586 01:01:08,931 --> 01:01:09,898 Tom�s, it's your mother. 587 01:01:10,733 --> 01:01:12,792 Mom, for Christ's sake! 588 01:01:13,002 --> 01:01:16,961 Watch out with your microwave. A gringa used hers to kill her dog. 589 01:01:17,173 --> 01:01:21,303 At least the doggie died quickly and painlessly. Take care. 590 01:01:36,059 --> 01:01:40,052 Ma'am, this is a message for Dr. Mateos, 591 01:01:41,097 --> 01:01:44,589 extension 4232, from Tom�s Tom�s. 592 01:01:45,601 --> 01:01:48,502 Tell him I'm going to commit suicide in the microwave. 593 01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:51,902 I'll leave the front door open so they can get in. 594 01:01:52,508 --> 01:01:54,135 Yes, ma'am. 595 01:01:54,343 --> 01:01:56,834 Just like the gringa's French poodle. 596 01:02:09,258 --> 01:02:12,022 Luc�a Luz. 597 01:02:12,762 --> 01:02:14,593 Andrea Pirrinos. 598 01:02:20,303 --> 01:02:23,170 The girl from the supermarket - what was her name? 599 01:02:26,375 --> 01:02:28,036 She loved Top Ramen. 600 01:02:33,649 --> 01:02:35,241 GIRL FROM SUPERMARKET 601 01:02:36,753 --> 01:02:38,846 Ang�lica J�lvede. 602 01:02:40,656 --> 01:02:43,489 "Quick, hide! My husband's coming!" 603 01:02:47,530 --> 01:02:49,054 Marcela, Marcela. 604 01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:56,261 The yellow stockings. What's her name? 605 01:02:56,472 --> 01:02:58,838 Lore... Loretta... Lorena? 606 01:03:00,643 --> 01:03:02,634 "It's my first time!" 607 01:03:22,231 --> 01:03:24,665 Pick a peck of pickled peppers! 608 01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,995 Sylvia Silva. 609 01:03:38,915 --> 01:03:44,012 "G�mez Home-Style Jalape�os: Pick a peck of pickled peppers." 610 01:03:49,458 --> 01:03:52,256 Message for Dr. Mateos from Mr. Tom�s: 611 01:03:52,461 --> 01:03:54,725 He's committing suicide in the microwave. 612 01:03:54,931 --> 01:03:57,399 He'll leave the front door open so you can get in. 613 01:03:58,201 --> 01:04:00,795 That's going to make such a mess! 614 01:04:03,406 --> 01:04:06,534 He's going to kill himself in a microwave! 615 01:04:08,344 --> 01:04:11,177 Just like the gringa's French poodle. 616 01:06:07,330 --> 01:06:10,629 A stupid life deserves a stupid death. 617 01:06:13,936 --> 01:06:16,837 - Who's there? - Clarisa. Your neighbor. 618 01:06:22,712 --> 01:06:24,475 What are you doing? 619 01:06:26,515 --> 01:06:28,278 Committing suicide. 620 01:06:31,420 --> 01:06:34,514 Then... maybe I should leave you alone. 621 01:06:34,724 --> 01:06:36,157 No, don't. What can I do for you? 622 01:06:36,359 --> 01:06:38,793 - Nothing, thanks. - Really - anything you want. 623 01:06:39,862 --> 01:06:41,625 I was wondering... 624 01:06:42,198 --> 01:06:44,325 if you could give me a hand. 625 01:06:44,900 --> 01:06:49,633 A hand? You don't want my hand, believe me. 626 01:06:50,072 --> 01:06:53,041 - You can't help me? - Help you? Of course. 627 01:06:53,242 --> 01:06:59,112 Look, there was an unexpected change of crew in Acapulco, 628 01:06:59,315 --> 01:07:02,546 and I got a shorter route, so I'm back early. 629 01:07:02,918 --> 01:07:05,352 Carlos is probably still flying. 630 01:07:05,588 --> 01:07:06,885 And I've lost my keys. 631 01:07:07,089 --> 01:07:11,048 - You don't have a spare? - Yes, on my night table. 632 01:07:12,328 --> 01:07:14,660 Maybe you could get in by the ledge. 633 01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:15,660 The ledge? 634 01:07:16,332 --> 01:07:19,460 I don't think so. It's very dangerous. 635 01:07:19,668 --> 01:07:23,502 - You won't do me that favor? - No. I mean yes! 636 01:07:23,706 --> 01:07:26,732 For you more than anyone. Better now than never. 637 01:07:26,942 --> 01:07:27,772 Thank you. 638 01:07:28,844 --> 01:07:30,937 No, thank you. 639 01:07:41,490 --> 01:07:43,390 - No, this is wrong. - Why? 640 01:07:43,592 --> 01:07:44,422 Yeah, why? 641 01:07:44,627 --> 01:07:47,152 We taught him a lesson - fine. 642 01:07:47,363 --> 01:07:50,093 But we've got to stop him before he does something stupid. 643 01:07:50,299 --> 01:07:53,496 When have you ever stopped him before? 644 01:07:54,336 --> 01:07:56,566 It doesn't matter. Let's go save him. 645 01:07:56,772 --> 01:07:59,263 Takeshi, Tom�s harakiri. 646 01:08:02,311 --> 01:08:03,471 I'll drive. 647 01:09:03,772 --> 01:09:07,139 - Here are your keys. - Thanks. Would you like some coffee? 648 01:09:07,343 --> 01:09:09,607 No, I have to finish this. 649 01:09:09,812 --> 01:09:12,178 Well, I mustn't keep you. 650 01:09:13,015 --> 01:09:14,505 Listen... 651 01:09:15,017 --> 01:09:16,985 don't go back to your apartment. 652 01:09:17,620 --> 01:09:19,554 You won't like what you see. 653 01:09:19,755 --> 01:09:21,689 After clearing 300 dinner trays, 654 01:09:21,891 --> 01:09:24,985 there's nothing like waiting at home for my captain to land. 655 01:09:25,194 --> 01:09:27,162 I don't think so. 656 01:09:28,464 --> 01:09:29,795 Thanks. 657 01:09:30,366 --> 01:09:31,856 See you later. 658 01:09:34,136 --> 01:09:35,865 Or maybe not, right? 659 01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:38,334 Good luck. 660 01:09:58,561 --> 01:10:00,825 This time you went too far, Sylvia. 661 01:10:01,530 --> 01:10:03,964 You should control your impulses. 662 01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:06,100 Ira furor brevis est, for God's sake! 663 01:10:06,302 --> 01:10:08,736 He's the one who went too far. 664 01:10:08,938 --> 01:10:13,602 Okay, I jiggled the needle when I drew his blood, 665 01:10:13,809 --> 01:10:16,778 but that doesn't justify taking me to his bed 666 01:10:16,979 --> 01:10:19,709 while he had Mrs. Gold waiting in yours. 667 01:10:19,915 --> 01:10:22,008 That's one point for Sylvia. 668 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:27,281 And our Casanova gave me just 20 seconds of his glory - 669 01:10:27,489 --> 01:10:29,218 she got all the rest! 670 01:10:29,425 --> 01:10:30,983 2-0, Matito! 671 01:10:31,193 --> 01:10:33,093 Good-bye, Mateo. 672 01:10:33,295 --> 01:10:36,526 You were stupid to be jealous of me. 673 01:10:36,765 --> 01:10:39,962 Teresa, what can I say? 674 01:10:40,803 --> 01:10:44,170 "The leopard never changes his spots." 675 01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,571 Take care of yourselves. 676 01:10:47,343 --> 01:10:51,302 Mother, I bid you a sad farewell, 677 01:10:51,513 --> 01:10:55,279 and thanks for suggesting this painless way out. 678 01:10:55,484 --> 01:10:57,452 He did it again! 679 01:10:57,653 --> 01:11:00,121 This time with a girl from Continental! 680 01:11:01,490 --> 01:11:05,688 He said he'd never do it again! He'll never change! 681 01:11:06,295 --> 01:11:09,594 Continental! 682 01:11:09,798 --> 01:11:14,030 Last time it was United! The girls from KLM won't look in his direction! 683 01:11:14,236 --> 01:11:16,295 But Continental! 684 01:11:16,739 --> 01:11:20,140 What can I say? Things don't always turn out right. 685 01:11:21,443 --> 01:11:23,570 But you can start fresh. 686 01:11:24,380 --> 01:11:25,870 Or talk to him. 687 01:11:26,081 --> 01:11:27,776 No, you don't understand. 688 01:11:27,983 --> 01:11:31,510 When we fell in love, he swore he'd change. 689 01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:33,881 He said we'd be like wolves. 690 01:11:34,423 --> 01:11:37,017 - Wolves? - Always faithful. 691 01:11:37,826 --> 01:11:40,386 I was his she-wolf and he was my little wolfey. 692 01:11:40,596 --> 01:11:43,963 This is worse than an emergency landing. 693 01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:47,226 I want to die! 694 01:11:47,436 --> 01:11:50,098 Come on. You have a whole life ahead of you. 695 01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:51,830 No, Carlos just killed me! 696 01:11:52,941 --> 01:11:54,602 He clipped my wings. 697 01:11:54,810 --> 01:11:56,675 Forget him. There are other men. 698 01:11:56,879 --> 01:12:00,713 I don't know what to do. You don't know how I feel. 699 01:12:07,456 --> 01:12:09,287 I want to shoot myself. 700 01:12:09,892 --> 01:12:11,154 Clarisa, come on. 701 01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:14,090 You're going to commit suicide. Lend me your oven! 702 01:12:14,296 --> 01:12:17,595 - No, the oven's mine. - You first, then me. 703 01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:20,098 What if I'm smeared all over it? 704 01:12:20,302 --> 01:12:23,328 I don't want to die like that French poodle. 705 01:12:24,440 --> 01:12:25,771 If you put it that way... 706 01:12:25,974 --> 01:12:28,033 I don't want to slash my wrists. 707 01:12:30,245 --> 01:12:32,270 Sleeping pills mess up my stomach. 708 01:12:32,481 --> 01:12:34,346 They're awful. 709 01:12:34,550 --> 01:12:36,415 I don't want to hang myself. 710 01:12:48,197 --> 01:12:50,165 I want to die in the heavens. 711 01:12:51,467 --> 01:12:52,900 The heavens? 712 01:12:53,102 --> 01:12:54,535 The friendly skies. 713 01:12:54,737 --> 01:12:56,364 Are you serious? 714 01:12:58,107 --> 01:12:59,165 In the air? 715 01:13:01,043 --> 01:13:03,409 Up in the clouds? 716 01:13:03,612 --> 01:13:05,910 Up in the sky? 717 01:13:06,248 --> 01:13:08,478 Flying like a bird... 718 01:13:08,684 --> 01:13:11,244 on the wings of freedom. 719 01:13:17,192 --> 01:13:20,184 - Would you like company? - Why not? 720 01:13:20,396 --> 01:13:22,660 The Latin American Tower. 721 01:13:24,099 --> 01:13:26,192 The Latin American Tower? 722 01:13:27,770 --> 01:13:29,135 Let me explain! 723 01:13:29,338 --> 01:13:32,432 Nancy has nothing to do with us. 724 01:13:35,377 --> 01:13:37,072 Nancy from Continental! 725 01:13:37,279 --> 01:13:41,272 Who's next? Debbie from Delta? 726 01:13:43,385 --> 01:13:46,616 Nancy jumped into my taxi and - 727 01:13:46,822 --> 01:13:49,017 What's wrong with your car? 728 01:13:49,224 --> 01:13:52,091 A message for Dr. Mateos, extension 4232, 729 01:13:52,294 --> 01:13:54,023 from Tom�s Tom�s: 730 01:13:54,229 --> 01:13:57,995 "Forget the microwave. We're jumping off the Latin American Tower." 731 01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:00,225 Mind your own business, ma'am! 732 01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:02,165 Let's go! 733 01:14:28,931 --> 01:14:31,627 Higher, faster, stronger. 734 01:14:31,834 --> 01:14:34,496 Olympic slogan. 735 01:14:40,909 --> 01:14:44,174 Why do you want to commit suicide? 736 01:14:49,251 --> 01:14:50,878 I have AIDS. 737 01:14:56,358 --> 01:15:00,954 "I'll leave the front door open so you can get in." 738 01:15:01,363 --> 01:15:03,058 Use the ledge. 739 01:15:03,265 --> 01:15:06,029 The ledge? Are you crazy? 740 01:15:06,235 --> 01:15:08,567 You brought us here. You get him out. 741 01:15:18,514 --> 01:15:20,175 "My little wolfey." 742 01:15:22,284 --> 01:15:23,808 A sly fox! 743 01:15:28,156 --> 01:15:29,987 They're all disgusting. 744 01:15:30,759 --> 01:15:31,817 Who? 745 01:15:32,194 --> 01:15:35,220 Bed-hopping bastards 746 01:15:35,430 --> 01:15:38,729 always looking for something new and different. 747 01:15:40,502 --> 01:15:43,164 That's not what's important. 748 01:15:53,649 --> 01:15:56,243 I think Sylvia ought to go. 749 01:15:56,451 --> 01:15:58,646 No way. I'm wearing high heels. 750 01:15:58,854 --> 01:16:01,914 Come on, Matito. Do it for Tom�s. You can do it. 751 01:16:02,124 --> 01:16:04,422 Where there's a will, there's a way. 752 01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:06,827 Right. 753 01:16:10,232 --> 01:16:14,828 Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream 754 01:16:15,604 --> 01:16:20,234 Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream 755 01:16:26,181 --> 01:16:30,948 Tom�s, ad damnum adderetur injuria. 756 01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:33,820 Motherfucker! 757 01:16:36,391 --> 01:16:37,756 I'm disgusting. 758 01:16:38,560 --> 01:16:39,993 What? 759 01:16:42,831 --> 01:16:44,458 I'm disgusting. 760 01:16:54,943 --> 01:16:59,403 ... life is but a dream 761 01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:03,213 Message for Dr. Mateos: 762 01:17:03,418 --> 01:17:06,444 Forget the microwave. He's jumping off the Latin American Tower. 763 01:17:06,655 --> 01:17:10,147 I say let the rude creep jump! 764 01:17:18,567 --> 01:17:20,535 It's like when you're a kid 765 01:17:20,736 --> 01:17:23,728 and you step on every insect you see. 766 01:17:25,741 --> 01:17:29,302 You don't know why, but you like that crunch. 767 01:17:30,979 --> 01:17:32,640 It's wrong... 768 01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:35,783 but you keep on doing it. 769 01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:39,378 The poor things. 770 01:17:39,921 --> 01:17:42,253 You grow up, but you keep doing the same thing - 771 01:17:43,325 --> 01:17:45,816 only now it's people you step on. 772 01:17:46,028 --> 01:17:48,053 It's wrong. Totally wrong. 773 01:17:52,934 --> 01:17:55,266 And I kept right on stepping on others 774 01:17:56,338 --> 01:17:58,898 until something bigger stepped on me. 775 01:18:18,727 --> 01:18:20,592 Is he dead? 776 01:18:22,898 --> 01:18:24,365 It's Carlos, your neighbor. 777 01:18:24,566 --> 01:18:27,262 Tom�s is jumping off the Latin American Tower! 778 01:18:42,684 --> 01:18:44,777 It's a sad night. 779 01:18:46,555 --> 01:18:48,318 And cold too. 780 01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:52,351 Not a star in sight. 781 01:18:55,931 --> 01:18:58,092 Only those down below. 782 01:19:00,469 --> 01:19:01,936 The lights. 783 01:19:04,706 --> 01:19:07,231 They say time stops at night... 784 01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:13,641 and everything stands still. 785 01:19:15,217 --> 01:19:16,946 Still. 786 01:19:36,471 --> 01:19:38,132 What time is it? 787 01:19:39,474 --> 01:19:42,409 I can't tell. The clock's down there. 788 01:19:43,411 --> 01:19:45,902 It doesn't matter. There's no more time. 789 01:19:49,818 --> 01:19:53,345 - We wasted so much time. - What do you mean? 790 01:19:53,555 --> 01:19:55,648 - In life. - You think? 791 01:19:56,491 --> 01:20:00,552 We could have - I don't know. 792 01:20:00,762 --> 01:20:03,925 What? Met before? 793 01:20:20,382 --> 01:20:22,145 Martita too? 794 01:20:24,186 --> 01:20:26,154 What's that? 795 01:20:26,354 --> 01:20:29,118 Tom�s's curriculum vitae. 796 01:20:30,525 --> 01:20:34,484 I wouldn't be surprised to find my mother's name here. 797 01:20:45,540 --> 01:20:47,804 I know someone on this list. 798 01:20:48,510 --> 01:20:52,469 Teresa de Teresa... 799 01:20:52,681 --> 01:20:54,148 de Mateos! 800 01:20:54,349 --> 01:20:56,715 Let bygones be bygones. 801 01:21:01,089 --> 01:21:03,557 What an abyssus abyssum invocat, for crying out loud! 802 01:21:03,758 --> 01:21:06,283 Past loves are like empty glasses. 803 01:21:07,028 --> 01:21:09,724 It was before I met you. 804 01:21:09,931 --> 01:21:12,695 Need I remind you of Patricia from Applied Pathology 101? 805 01:21:12,901 --> 01:21:15,335 You better quieta non movere! 806 01:21:16,338 --> 01:21:20,240 No use crying over spilt milk, Matito. 807 01:21:21,610 --> 01:21:24,545 Quod Deus conjunxit, homo non separet. 808 01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:26,542 That's right. 809 01:21:26,748 --> 01:21:29,717 What God has joined, let no man put asunder. 810 01:21:29,918 --> 01:21:32,216 If you leave me, I'll kill myself. 811 01:22:12,928 --> 01:22:15,419 We're putting an end to the abyss of life. 812 01:22:26,174 --> 01:22:28,870 All that remains is the abyss below. 813 01:22:33,648 --> 01:22:35,775 And the abyss of death. 814 01:22:43,491 --> 01:22:45,789 And the abyss between us? 815 01:22:45,994 --> 01:22:47,518 Between us? 816 01:22:48,496 --> 01:22:51,056 Don't you think there's an abyss? 817 01:22:55,036 --> 01:22:57,163 Not at all. 818 01:22:58,907 --> 01:23:01,068 You feel an abyss between us? 819 01:23:10,618 --> 01:23:12,347 A very small one. 820 01:23:44,319 --> 01:23:45,877 I can't. 821 01:23:46,388 --> 01:23:48,083 I could infect you. 822 01:23:48,623 --> 01:23:50,682 What does it matter now? 823 01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:33,495 Has anyone jumped? 824 01:24:33,768 --> 01:24:36,202 Has anyone jumped? - Jumped? 825 01:24:37,872 --> 01:24:39,430 Clarisa's underwear. 826 01:24:39,641 --> 01:24:43,270 I think it was during the storm of '61 827 01:24:43,478 --> 01:24:46,072 that a lovelorn young lady 828 01:24:46,281 --> 01:24:50,911 jumped off with a depressed young man she hardly knew. 829 01:25:50,378 --> 01:25:52,539 No, Matito, don't! 830 01:26:01,556 --> 01:26:05,014 EMERGENCY STAIRCASE 831 01:26:22,243 --> 01:26:24,609 During that same storm, 832 01:26:24,812 --> 01:26:28,646 the statue of Diana the Huntress was found wearing a bra 833 01:26:28,850 --> 01:26:32,479 reported to belong to a famous actress. 834 01:27:58,206 --> 01:28:00,766 It looks like a long way down, but it's very close. 835 01:28:08,016 --> 01:28:09,984 - Don't let go of my hand. - Never. 836 01:28:10,184 --> 01:28:11,742 Your hand is cold. 837 01:28:15,123 --> 01:28:16,715 Listen... 838 01:28:16,924 --> 01:28:19,051 don't let go of my hand after we jump. 839 01:28:19,260 --> 01:28:20,625 I'll try. 840 01:28:31,306 --> 01:28:34,434 Tom�s, you don't have AIDS! 841 01:28:35,176 --> 01:28:37,610 I do! I saw the test results! 842 01:28:37,812 --> 01:28:40,645 No, I made it all up! I swear! 843 01:28:40,848 --> 01:28:43,476 She's right! They were negative! 844 01:28:43,685 --> 01:28:45,949 Sylvia marked them positive! 845 01:28:46,187 --> 01:28:49,452 Clarisa, forgive me for the Nancy thing! 846 01:28:49,657 --> 01:28:51,989 Go howl at the moon, you were-wolf! 847 01:28:52,226 --> 01:28:56,287 I can't marry you! I'm going through a selfish period! 848 01:28:56,531 --> 01:28:58,055 I need my freedom! 849 01:28:58,266 --> 01:29:00,700 Then fly away, you vulture! 850 01:29:00,902 --> 01:29:03,336 Then why did you tell me to stay away from women? 851 01:29:03,538 --> 01:29:05,472 You have white spots on your throat! 852 01:29:05,707 --> 01:29:07,641 Penicillin will cure them! 853 01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:09,672 Clarisa, don't jump! 854 01:29:11,145 --> 01:29:12,737 Don't ever leave me. 855 01:29:12,947 --> 01:29:16,075 Never. If you leave me, I'll kill you. 856 01:29:19,454 --> 01:29:22,981 For those sick of life, love is the cure. 857 01:30:23,217 --> 01:30:24,650 How much? 62342

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