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Kids, in the spring of 2008,
2
00:00:02,566 --> 00:00:05,197
something kinda strange had been
happening to your Uncle Barney.
3
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,104
He'd be doing
great with a woman...
4
00:00:07,204 --> 00:00:09,621
So I throw the pressurized
oxygen tank in his mouth,
5
00:00:09,721 --> 00:00:12,183
I shoot the tank, boom!
No more shark.
6
00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:14,570
Mr. Holland and I
swim back to shore.
7
00:00:15,053 --> 00:00:16,336
Let me freshen your drink.
8
00:00:16,982 --> 00:00:20,358
He'd only be gone a few moments,
but when he returned...
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00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:21,830
So where were we?
10
00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:23,174
...he'd get slapped.
11
00:00:23,769 --> 00:00:25,066
It kept happening.
12
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,104
Until finally, Lily was approached
by a mysterious woman
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00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,522
who warned her
to stay away from Barney.
14
00:00:34,194 --> 00:00:36,078
So when it happened once more...
15
00:00:36,481 --> 00:00:39,649
Again?! Really?!
Wait...
16
00:00:39,853 --> 00:00:41,820
...Barney knew who to look for.
17
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:02,950
Hey, excuse me.
18
00:01:03,056 --> 00:01:04,990
Did I sleep with you and
then totally screw you over?
19
00:01:05,305 --> 00:01:06,473
No.
20
00:01:08,608 --> 00:01:10,313
What are you doing on Friday?
21
00:01:19,341 --> 00:01:20,075
Amy?
22
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:21,344
Abby.
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00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:25,036
Right.
24
00:01:26,532 --> 00:01:30,207
How I Met Your Mother 3x19
- Everything Must Go -
25
00:01:40,464 --> 00:01:44,377
Kids, sometimes you can do something
right a thousand times in a row...
26
00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:47,628
A rainbow!
That's beautiful!
27
00:01:48,814 --> 00:01:51,581
What a beautiful rainbow!
28
00:01:52,423 --> 00:01:56,710
Another rainbow?
It's beautiful!
29
00:01:56,936 --> 00:01:59,329
But then, that
thousand-and-first time...
30
00:01:59,914 --> 00:02:03,373
You're kidding me. Seriously,
aren't you sick of these things?
31
00:02:07,366 --> 00:02:08,901
Hey, how was yo day?
32
00:02:09,006 --> 00:02:11,684
Today, I yelled at a little girl
for painting a rainbow.
33
00:02:11,908 --> 00:02:15,343
A rainbow? Sounds like
that bitch had it coming.
34
00:02:18,348 --> 00:02:21,826
So, uh, I just met with
the contractor.
35
00:02:21,928 --> 00:02:24,296
And it turns out, that fixing
the floors of the new apartment
36
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,237
is going to cost a lot more
than the estimate.
37
00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:29,247
But we can barely
afford that to begin with.
38
00:02:29,451 --> 00:02:31,085
I hate to say this,
39
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:33,498
but I think you're going to have
to sell your stuff.
40
00:02:33,702 --> 00:02:36,956
Whoa! Marshall, that's just a game
we play in the bedroom.
41
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,876
I mean your clothes. All those
designer pieces and everything.
42
00:02:41,081 --> 00:02:43,379
What?
Why just my clothes?
43
00:02:43,483 --> 00:02:45,628
We can sell my stuff, too,
but I got to tell you,
44
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,857
I think your Marc Jacobs cocktail dress
is going to go for a lot more than my
45
00:02:48,963 --> 00:02:51,009
- "Split Happens" bowling shirt.
- Dude.
46
00:02:51,116 --> 00:02:52,658
I'm not selling that.
47
00:02:54,576 --> 00:02:57,592
- I've already made the Website.
- You made a Website?
48
00:02:57,696 --> 00:03:03,072
Yeah, it's called "Lily-and-Marshall
-sell-their-stuff-dot-com."
49
00:03:04,158 --> 00:03:07,112
No, you know what would be
a better name for the site?
50
00:03:07,218 --> 00:03:14,544
Guy-forces-his-wife-to-dress-in-a-garbage
-bag-for-the-next-three-years-dot-com.
51
00:03:16,068 --> 00:03:17,424
That's real.
52
00:03:17,959 --> 00:03:21,804
Now I'm worried. That woman is actually
wearing a garbage bag.
53
00:03:22,328 --> 00:03:25,804
Hmm, but, girlfriend,
you cannot pull off a tall kitchen.
54
00:03:26,859 --> 00:03:29,167
Why are you trying
to ruin my life?
55
00:03:29,269 --> 00:03:31,475
Well, you slept with me and
then you never called me again.
56
00:03:32,571 --> 00:03:34,068
- And?
- That's it.
57
00:03:34,270 --> 00:03:35,288
That's it?
58
00:03:35,863 --> 00:03:37,727
As far as I'm concerned,
if I leave you safe on dry land
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00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:40,408
with adequate transportation home,
you've got nothing to complain about.
60
00:03:40,713 --> 00:03:42,148
Well, it hurt, okay?
61
00:03:42,254 --> 00:03:45,477
And then Ted, the love of my life,
started dating my boss instead of me.
62
00:03:45,802 --> 00:03:47,169
Do you know how that feels?
63
00:03:47,274 --> 00:03:50,289
Oh, boo-hoo, poor little Ashley.
64
00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,418
- Abby!
- Abby.
65
00:03:52,826 --> 00:03:55,749
A few weeks ago, Ted
dumped me as his wingman.
66
00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,001
You had a crush on him
for a couple weeks?
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00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,311
I was Ted's best friend
for seven years.
68
00:04:00,416 --> 00:04:03,259
- Ted said Marshall was his best friend.
- Seven years!
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00:04:04,197 --> 00:04:04,932
Sorry.
70
00:04:05,598 --> 00:04:07,273
Ted.
What an idiot.
71
00:04:07,968 --> 00:04:12,063
With his stupid "meaningful
relationship" with Stella.
72
00:04:12,478 --> 00:04:14,313
- Ted.
- Ted.
73
00:04:14,589 --> 00:04:16,952
- I hate Ted.
- I hate Ted more.
74
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:20,434
- Are you as turned on as I am?
- Probably not quite as much.
75
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,943
I'm sorry I yelled out "Ted."
76
00:04:25,050 --> 00:04:27,133
I'm sorry I yelled out "Abby."
77
00:04:27,909 --> 00:04:29,595
I am Abby.
78
00:04:30,482 --> 00:04:31,466
Oh, cool.
79
00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:33,926
This is insane.
80
00:04:34,131 --> 00:04:35,886
Has Lily even worn
half this stuff?
81
00:04:36,091 --> 00:04:38,807
Oh, yeah, like there's nothing in your
closet you've never worn?
82
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,995
As a matter of fact,
no, there isn't.
83
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,229
Whatever, red cowboy boots.
84
00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:46,109
Those are nice boots.
I totally pull those off.
85
00:04:48,265 --> 00:04:50,637
If I were to say
"Ted could never pull them off,"
86
00:04:50,745 --> 00:04:52,790
- what would I be talking about?
- His red cowboy boots.
87
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:56,408
I totally pull them off!
It's a classic Western look.
88
00:04:56,913 --> 00:04:59,131
Oh, okay, uh, today's category:
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00:04:59,513 --> 00:05:02,752
classic Westerns that involve
red cowboy boots.
90
00:05:03,706 --> 00:05:04,489
Robin.
91
00:05:04,694 --> 00:05:06,672
"The Good, the Bad,
and the Fabulous."
92
00:05:08,797 --> 00:05:10,300
"The Magnificent Kevin."
93
00:05:11,586 --> 00:05:13,753
"No Country for Straight Men."
94
00:05:15,726 --> 00:05:17,894
I don't want to sell my clothes!
95
00:05:18,099 --> 00:05:19,925
I know, sweetie.
Come here.
96
00:05:22,037 --> 00:05:23,315
Is this a hundred percent silk?
97
00:05:24,769 --> 00:05:26,793
Lily, listen,
we really need the money.
98
00:05:26,899 --> 00:05:29,664
I have some leads on a job,
but until then, I just...
99
00:05:30,078 --> 00:05:31,285
I don't know what else
we can do.
100
00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:34,707
I'll sell my paintings!
101
00:05:35,529 --> 00:05:36,115
What?
102
00:05:36,321 --> 00:05:38,126
Yeah, I'll sell my paintings.
103
00:05:38,162 --> 00:05:40,758
Good oil paintings go for like, $500.
104
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,257
Yeah. Totally.
105
00:05:43,713 --> 00:05:44,406
But...
106
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,889
Kids, sometimes you can do something
right a thousand times in a row...
107
00:05:48,344 --> 00:05:49,259
I love it.
108
00:05:49,464 --> 00:05:51,087
It's a masterpiece.
109
00:05:53,255 --> 00:05:54,930
That's it.
We're selling the TV.
110
00:05:55,134 --> 00:05:57,400
I just want to come home
and stare at this all day.
111
00:05:59,176 --> 00:06:00,649
Somebody call the cops!
112
00:06:00,856 --> 00:06:03,769
My wife stole an awesome painting
from the museum!
113
00:06:06,544 --> 00:06:08,863
But then, that
thousand-and-first time...
114
00:06:08,965 --> 00:06:11,421
...that kind of money
only goes for real paintings.
115
00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:15,041
What does that mean?
116
00:06:16,116 --> 00:06:20,483
Look, it just means that we need money
right now and I'm not sure that
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00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,842
selling your paintings
is how we're going to get it.
118
00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:24,995
You don't believe in me.
119
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:28,516
No, wait, wait!
Of c...
120
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,093
of course I believe in you!
121
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,866
Marshall, I am proud
of my work as an artist.
122
00:06:32,971 --> 00:06:36,186
My paintings are good.
I bet Robin would buy one.
123
00:06:36,391 --> 00:06:37,395
What now?
124
00:06:38,841 --> 00:06:42,238
I love your painting, I just...
I'm trying to be realistic.
125
00:06:43,301 --> 00:06:46,329
Well, how much money do we need
for the contractor to finish the job?
126
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:47,879
About 1,500 bucks.
127
00:06:48,982 --> 00:06:53,390
So, if I can sell three of my paintings
at 500 bucks a pop, then
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00:06:53,492 --> 00:06:55,308
I get to keep all my clothes.
129
00:06:56,163 --> 00:06:59,190
- We need money fast.
- Well, give me a week.
130
00:07:00,915 --> 00:07:02,389
Okay, a week.
131
00:07:02,664 --> 00:07:03,759
- Fine.
- Fine.
132
00:07:04,086 --> 00:07:05,221
Fine.
133
00:07:17,269 --> 00:07:20,581
Pulling. Them. Off.
134
00:07:25,577 --> 00:07:28,482
Lily's first move in the great
art challenge of 2008
135
00:07:28,590 --> 00:07:31,816
was to display one of her favorite
paintings at her friend's gallery.
136
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,554
The night didn't go so well.
137
00:07:39,609 --> 00:07:41,587
But then at the last minute...
138
00:07:41,692 --> 00:07:43,728
- I love it.
- You do?
139
00:07:44,011 --> 00:07:46,877
Your top. It's gorgeous.
Is that 100% silk?
140
00:07:46,981 --> 00:07:49,976
It's not for sale!
My clothes are not for sale!
141
00:07:50,191 --> 00:07:52,828
So the next day, Lily took
her painting to a coffee house
142
00:07:52,926 --> 00:07:54,616
that displayed local artists.
143
00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:58,704
We've been sitting here for hours and
nobody's even glanced at my painting.
144
00:07:59,206 --> 00:08:01,040
Come on.
Let's start talking it up.
145
00:08:03,053 --> 00:08:05,210
I really like that painting!
146
00:08:05,413 --> 00:08:06,989
It's neat!
147
00:08:07,097 --> 00:08:09,189
The-the colors are neat.
148
00:08:09,297 --> 00:08:10,970
The-the shapes are neat.
149
00:08:11,277 --> 00:08:14,113
It's really just... neat.
150
00:08:16,286 --> 00:08:16,983
What?
151
00:08:18,325 --> 00:08:19,352
Observe.
152
00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:23,672
I think there's a dynamic quality
to the brushwork that,
153
00:08:23,776 --> 00:08:25,534
combined with the fluid composition,
154
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,572
creates an almost
Kandinsky-like emotional resonance.
155
00:08:29,928 --> 00:08:34,573
Yes, and you can still enjoy it
even if you're not a pretentious douche.
156
00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:38,285
Can you clarify something
for me about your critique?
157
00:08:38,390 --> 00:08:41,665
Are the colors "neat" or
are they more "neato burrito?"
158
00:08:43,703 --> 00:08:45,675
Uh, then again,
red cowboy boots.
159
00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:50,346
I pull these off!
I pull these off!
160
00:08:50,954 --> 00:08:52,907
You know what
I hate most about Ted?
161
00:08:53,011 --> 00:08:53,848
What?
162
00:08:54,183 --> 00:08:56,037
His stupid hair.
163
00:08:56,283 --> 00:08:58,899
His stupid, lame awesome hair.
164
00:08:59,224 --> 00:09:01,568
It's so stupid and awesome.
165
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:05,111
You know what
I hate most about Ted?
166
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:05,870
What?
167
00:09:05,953 --> 00:09:09,939
How he's always like, "Oh, I want to
fall in love and have a relationship.
168
00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:13,502
I care about the people I have
sex with." He's so lame.
169
00:09:13,707 --> 00:09:15,332
He's so lame and awesome.
170
00:09:18,147 --> 00:09:19,412
You know what he needs?
171
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:22,842
He needs to see just how horrible
he is when he's in a relationship.
172
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:26,633
Yeah, and I need to show Ted
that I'm over him.
173
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:28,802
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
174
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:30,933
I think so.
175
00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:33,315
You're thinking
of having sex with Ted?
176
00:09:35,861 --> 00:09:39,926
After four days without selling a single
painting, Lily was getting desperate.
177
00:09:40,032 --> 00:09:43,134
Painting for sale!
$500!
178
00:09:43,241 --> 00:09:46,118
Lifelong dream
hanging in the balance!
179
00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:50,137
It's like they don't even see us.
180
00:09:50,243 --> 00:09:52,089
Yeah, we're dirt to them.
181
00:09:52,571 --> 00:09:54,259
What do you need money for?
182
00:09:54,363 --> 00:09:57,398
Oh, I'm trying to fix the hardwood
floors in my new apartment.
183
00:09:57,502 --> 00:09:58,380
You?
184
00:09:58,813 --> 00:09:59,929
Heroin.
185
00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:05,890
- Do you like heroin?
- Love it.
186
00:10:05,993 --> 00:10:09,061
If you sell that, I'm going to take
your money and go buy some more heroin.
187
00:10:11,086 --> 00:10:13,672
Thanks for your honesty,
Crazy Sock Guy.
188
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,452
- Oh, I'm never gonna sell this...
- It's not very good.
189
00:10:20,296 --> 00:10:22,872
And just as she was about
to lose all hope,
190
00:10:22,979 --> 00:10:24,764
something amazing happened.
191
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,122
Oh, my God!
192
00:10:28,339 --> 00:10:31,443
500 bucks! Who's a real
painter now, Marshall?
193
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,635
Honey, I never said
you weren't a real painter.
194
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,365
I know, sweetie.
195
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,483
And since I'm a
professional artist now,
196
00:10:38,588 --> 00:10:41,125
I'm going to sketch you
an Aldrin original,
197
00:10:41,231 --> 00:10:44,624
you know, to say thanks for being
such a supportive husband.
198
00:10:44,729 --> 00:10:46,614
I'm thinking about calling it...
199
00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:47,935
"Suck It!"
200
00:10:48,462 --> 00:10:51,856
Lily, come on. I'm proud of you.
Who-who bought it?
201
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:55,318
Well, that's the best part.
A gay couple without kids.
202
00:10:55,424 --> 00:10:57,117
A G-CWOK!
203
00:10:57,382 --> 00:11:00,158
- You bagged a G-CWOK?!
- Yeah, that's right.
204
00:11:00,263 --> 00:11:03,008
They are the heart and soul
of the art-buying community.
205
00:11:03,112 --> 00:11:05,517
You know what you should do?
You should call up the G-CWOKs
206
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,918
and offer them a free painting
if they throw a private art party
207
00:11:08,023 --> 00:11:09,638
for all their G-CWOK friends.
208
00:11:09,745 --> 00:11:12,710
That's an amazing idea.
I'm going to go call them.
209
00:11:12,814 --> 00:11:16,020
I can probably sell two more
paintings with time to spare.
210
00:11:16,514 --> 00:11:20,161
Oh, wait, Marshall. There was something
I had to tell you. What was it?
211
00:11:20,265 --> 00:11:21,662
Oh, that's right.
212
00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:22,811
Suck it.
213
00:11:30,328 --> 00:11:31,373
Hey.
214
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,372
Ted, fancy bumping
into you here.
215
00:11:34,637 --> 00:11:36,785
Have you guys met
my girlfriend Abby?
216
00:11:37,358 --> 00:11:40,466
- Uh, yeah. Hi, Abby. So...
- Hello, Abby.
217
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,433
So you guys are dating now?
218
00:11:42,628 --> 00:11:43,505
That's right.
219
00:11:43,961 --> 00:11:46,245
I am done with this
whole being awesome thing.
220
00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,726
Now I'm all about
farmers' markets and
221
00:11:48,830 --> 00:11:52,055
day hikes in matching khaki cargo
shorts. Isn't that right, sweetie?
222
00:11:52,262 --> 00:11:55,087
That's right.
And girlfriends are lame.
223
00:11:55,191 --> 00:11:57,567
Unless they're me.
I miss you, Ted.
224
00:11:58,814 --> 00:12:00,816
Abby and I are in love.
225
00:12:01,161 --> 00:12:03,137
Not hot passionate love.
226
00:12:03,245 --> 00:12:04,550
Couple love.
227
00:12:04,653 --> 00:12:07,029
You know, movie night
with my girlfriend,
228
00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:08,800
then waiting for her
to go to bed
229
00:12:08,906 --> 00:12:11,749
so I can steal one pitiful moment
of hollow ecstasy
230
00:12:11,853 --> 00:12:14,249
by the cold, blue light
of my computer monitor.
231
00:12:15,497 --> 00:12:17,720
We're showing Ted
how lame he is.
232
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,932
You don't have to say it, though.
233
00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:23,090
Uh, okay, Barney,
you can stop.
234
00:12:23,296 --> 00:12:25,442
Stop what, Ted?
Stop being in love?
235
00:12:25,548 --> 00:12:27,724
Next he'll ask us to stop breathing.
236
00:12:28,666 --> 00:12:30,492
We can't stop breathing, Ted.
237
00:12:30,599 --> 00:12:32,275
Your hair looks amazing.
238
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,853
Barney, I, I see what you're doing.
Please stop.
239
00:12:37,058 --> 00:12:41,073
Not before I share with you what
being in a relationship leads to, Ted.
240
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,204
Abby, Pookie Bear...
241
00:12:44,839 --> 00:12:48,825
I am so pathetically
desperate for you, that...
242
00:12:49,212 --> 00:12:51,217
aw, heck, I'll just say it.
243
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:57,466
- Will you marry me?
- Wait, really?
244
00:12:58,001 --> 00:13:00,678
I would never joke about true love.
245
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:04,288
- Yes, I'll marry you.
- Okay.
246
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,017
Thank you, thank you.
247
00:13:08,442 --> 00:13:10,440
I have to call my mom.
248
00:13:11,693 --> 00:13:12,901
That's you.
249
00:13:14,396 --> 00:13:16,579
Uh, yeah, I don't think
Abby knows you're kidding.
250
00:13:16,684 --> 00:13:18,242
Uh, yes, she does.
251
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:20,430
It finally happened, Mama.
252
00:13:20,615 --> 00:13:23,240
I just wish Daddy were alive
to walk me down the aisle.
253
00:13:24,957 --> 00:13:26,621
Totally committed to the bit.
254
00:13:27,846 --> 00:13:30,884
Yes, Lily Aldrin.
I sold you the painting earlier today.
255
00:13:31,087 --> 00:13:32,564
Oh, honey, hello.
256
00:13:32,666 --> 00:13:33,884
You sound happy.
257
00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:36,225
Are you kidding? We're popping
the champagne right now.
258
00:13:37,088 --> 00:13:40,396
Well, I just wanted to offer you
an exclusive chance
259
00:13:40,498 --> 00:13:42,473
to view some of my other paintings.
260
00:13:42,681 --> 00:13:46,736
Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, oh,
I guess I should have told you.
261
00:13:46,929 --> 00:13:48,644
We just bought that for the frame.
262
00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:50,244
What?
263
00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:52,136
Yeah, it's an original
Anton Kreutzer,
264
00:13:52,241 --> 00:13:54,156
a very rare frame
from the turn of the century.
265
00:13:54,773 --> 00:13:57,788
So... you didn't like my painting?
266
00:13:57,992 --> 00:14:00,997
Oh, honey, oh, sweetie,
no, not at all.
267
00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:03,966
But you know,
good for you.
268
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,819
Well, if you didn't want
the painting, can I...
269
00:14:11,175 --> 00:14:13,149
can I at least get it back?
270
00:14:13,433 --> 00:14:15,810
Yeah, no,
we don't have it anymore.
271
00:14:16,434 --> 00:14:17,349
Where is it?
272
00:14:19,685 --> 00:14:20,630
I see.
273
00:14:22,347 --> 00:14:23,903
H-He threw out my painting.
274
00:14:25,567 --> 00:14:27,820
Champagne for everyone,
on me,
275
00:14:28,086 --> 00:14:30,453
the happiest guy in the world.
276
00:14:33,097 --> 00:14:34,732
Ginger ale.
It's a bit.
277
00:14:37,818 --> 00:14:39,162
This is great.
278
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:41,302
My dream of becoming
an artist is dead,
279
00:14:41,409 --> 00:14:45,304
and now I'm watching my wardrobe
disappear piece by piece.
280
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,825
There goes my favorite dress.
281
00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:50,466
This dress meant a lot to me.
282
00:14:50,829 --> 00:14:52,666
- Really?
- Yeah.
283
00:14:52,889 --> 00:14:57,188
It was spring of 2004 and
I had been having a hard few months.
284
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:01,256
Day-am.
285
00:15:02,451 --> 00:15:04,999
I got a two-syllable "damn"
in this dress.
286
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:07,330
A two-syllable "damn."
287
00:15:07,895 --> 00:15:09,619
- That's the dream.
- Yeah.
288
00:15:10,025 --> 00:15:15,998
Now she belongs to...
CanadaGirl@MetroNewsOne.com.
289
00:15:16,323 --> 00:15:17,750
It's still in the family.
290
00:15:19,426 --> 00:15:21,509
Lily, you're not going to believe this.
291
00:15:21,835 --> 00:15:23,430
- Something amazing happened.
- What?
292
00:15:23,984 --> 00:15:25,690
I went to the G-CWOK's apartment.
293
00:15:25,856 --> 00:15:27,020
Really? Why?
294
00:15:27,128 --> 00:15:28,682
Because I felt guilty.
295
00:15:28,977 --> 00:15:31,782
This auction was my idea and now
you've had to sit around all day
296
00:15:31,886 --> 00:15:36,151
while a bunch of vultures ruthlessly
pick apart the carcass of your wardrobe.
297
00:15:38,497 --> 00:15:40,263
It's still in the family.
298
00:15:40,659 --> 00:15:42,004
And more importantly,
299
00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:44,054
I honestly love that painting and
300
00:15:44,159 --> 00:15:46,785
I couldn't stand to think of it
in a trashcan someplace.
301
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:48,505
Well, what happened?
302
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:51,265
Well, hello.
303
00:15:51,371 --> 00:15:55,614
Hi, um... Lawrence. I'm here about
the painting my wife Lily sold you...
304
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,576
the one in the nice frame.
305
00:15:57,922 --> 00:16:01,668
Talk about a nice frame.
My, my, you are a big one, aren't you?
306
00:16:01,770 --> 00:16:04,517
And you're married to that little bit
of a thing. How does that work?
307
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,507
I'd like to find out.
308
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,199
Yeah, we get it.
Gay guys like you.
309
00:16:09,764 --> 00:16:11,197
No, Lily,
310
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,918
they love me,
but that's not the important part.
311
00:16:14,134 --> 00:16:15,688
Here's the important part.
312
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,899
Since you're clearly a man
of impeccable taste and style,
313
00:16:19,006 --> 00:16:20,841
I came down here to ask you:
314
00:16:22,185 --> 00:16:24,031
what do you think of the boots?
315
00:16:29,585 --> 00:16:30,342
Boots.
316
00:16:35,678 --> 00:16:38,681
Pulling. Them. Off.
317
00:16:42,638 --> 00:16:43,924
I'll be in the cab.
318
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:49,904
G-CWOK-approved.
319
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:51,233
The painting.
320
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,747
Right, so, um, they told me they
threw it in the building's Dumpster.
321
00:16:55,411 --> 00:16:59,016
It wasn't in there, but the super
told me that he'd seen one Dr. Greer,
322
00:16:59,121 --> 00:17:00,547
a veterinarian who
works in the building,
323
00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:02,206
take the painting out of the trash.
324
00:17:02,531 --> 00:17:06,559
Dr. Greer? Who's Dr. Greer and
why did he take my painting?
325
00:17:07,204 --> 00:17:08,698
You're about to find out.
326
00:17:10,753 --> 00:17:12,627
Long story short,
I had to make a trash run.
327
00:17:12,734 --> 00:17:14,430
Been a busy day...
lots of neuterings.
328
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,718
Ooh, we don't need the details.
329
00:17:15,823 --> 00:17:17,529
Oh, no no no,
it's not what you think.
330
00:17:17,966 --> 00:17:20,339
Yeah, yeah, yeah, mostly
just dog testicles. Anyway...
331
00:17:21,564 --> 00:17:23,159
I noticed your painting
332
00:17:23,266 --> 00:17:27,569
just sitting right there on top
and I thought, "Hey, free painting,"
333
00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:32,000
so I brought it upstairs and
hung it up in Exam Room 3,
334
00:17:32,105 --> 00:17:34,510
and then the strangest
thing happened.
335
00:17:36,899 --> 00:17:38,582
Hey, Muffin.
336
00:17:40,049 --> 00:17:42,882
Whoa, I think he remembers me
from the last time he was here.
337
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,584
Take Muffin to Exam Room 3.
I'll meet you there.
338
00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:51,094
I went in, expecting the worst.
339
00:17:53,669 --> 00:17:56,705
I'd never seen Muffin that calm,
340
00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:01,055
and then a little later the same thing
happened again with Tidbit...
341
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,325
and King Larry...
342
00:18:04,591 --> 00:18:07,569
and again
with the Weinstein triplets.
343
00:18:10,294 --> 00:18:11,829
Something about your art
344
00:18:11,934 --> 00:18:15,160
speaks to the canine sensibility
on a very primal level.
345
00:18:15,393 --> 00:18:18,459
- Really? Dogs like my paintings?
- Yeah.
346
00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:21,261
But you know who it bums out?
Birds.
347
00:18:22,566 --> 00:18:25,011
Had a parrot in there today.
He took one look at it,
348
00:18:25,117 --> 00:18:28,222
pried open his cage,
flew right into the ceiling fan.
349
00:18:32,346 --> 00:18:34,481
Anyway, because your first
painting worked so well,
350
00:18:34,585 --> 00:18:36,650
I convinced Dr. Greer
to buy four more.
351
00:18:36,856 --> 00:18:39,424
- Really?
- At $500 a piece.
352
00:18:39,529 --> 00:18:42,481
That's two grand. That's more
than we need for the contractor.
353
00:18:42,696 --> 00:18:45,072
Yeah, but I was actually
thinking we could reinvest it.
354
00:18:45,178 --> 00:18:46,835
- In what?
- In you.
355
00:18:51,189 --> 00:18:53,725
Marshall explained that
he was building a fancy new Web site
356
00:18:53,831 --> 00:18:57,507
specifically to sell
Lily's artwork to veterinarians.
357
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:02,516
Well, it's not exactly
the clientele I had in mind, but...
358
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,648
thank you for believing in me.
359
00:19:11,173 --> 00:19:14,380
Man,
birds do not get you.
360
00:19:25,536 --> 00:19:26,540
Hi, sweetie.
361
00:19:26,645 --> 00:19:28,401
Hey, I think I left my tie here.
Have you seen it?
362
00:19:28,654 --> 00:19:31,192
No, I'm in wedding-planning mode.
363
00:19:31,447 --> 00:19:33,972
Stressville. Population: me.
Okay, big decision.
364
00:19:34,175 --> 00:19:37,472
What do you think the cake should be:
Fudgie the Whale or Cookie Puss?
365
00:19:38,265 --> 00:19:41,314
Yeah, that was a bit.
We were doing a bit.
366
00:19:41,768 --> 00:19:44,662
So I'm thinking Labor Day.
I was going to say Fourth of July,
367
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:48,232
but I don't want to steal
any attention away from America.
368
00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:52,574
Abby, I've...
I've got some bad news.
369
00:19:53,748 --> 00:19:55,614
- I can't marry you.
- What?
370
00:19:55,968 --> 00:20:00,104
Ted begged me not to.
I think he's in love with you.
371
00:20:00,211 --> 00:20:02,866
- Really?
- Yes, our plan worked,
372
00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:05,256
better than we ever dreamed.
You have to go to him.
373
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,558
Here's his home address.
But you know what? He works late,
374
00:20:09,662 --> 00:20:11,929
so I wouldn't go before
2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.
375
00:20:12,304 --> 00:20:16,187
Oh, my God, thank you.
But now I feel wrong keeping this.
376
00:20:16,292 --> 00:20:19,608
Oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that.
That's made of candy.
377
00:20:20,182 --> 00:20:21,037
Later.
378
00:20:27,176 --> 00:20:31,099
Hey, go to lilyandmarshallselltheirstuff.com
or charityfolks.com.
379
00:20:31,204 --> 00:20:32,840
We're having an auction
to raise money
380
00:20:32,946 --> 00:20:34,601
for the children's hospital
of Los Angeles.
381
00:20:34,708 --> 00:20:37,602
You can get a tone of cool stuff from
the show and it's all for a great cause.
382
00:20:37,706 --> 00:20:38,990
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
29853
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