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1
00:00:01,099 --> 00:00:03,398
(CAMERA REEL ROLLING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,236
(GUNSHOTS FIRING)
3
00:00:06,238 --> 00:00:08,638
Subtitles by explosiveskull
4
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,706
(SOFT TAPPING)
5
00:00:10,708 --> 00:00:11,743
Hey.
6
00:00:12,744 --> 00:00:13,609
Hey, you motherfuckers
out there.
7
00:00:13,611 --> 00:00:15,845
- Yeah, there they are.
- That's right.
8
00:00:15,847 --> 00:00:17,546
If you don't know who we are,
9
00:00:17,548 --> 00:00:18,881
you ain't been watching
the fuckin' Facebook page.
10
00:00:18,883 --> 00:00:21,249
But this is, I'm
Kidnap number one,
11
00:00:21,251 --> 00:00:23,251
this is Kidnap number two, okay?
12
00:00:23,253 --> 00:00:24,787
And we're here to tell
you motherfuckers...
13
00:00:24,789 --> 00:00:25,988
Two.
14
00:00:25,990 --> 00:00:27,657
Thank you for
purchasing the movie
15
00:00:27,659 --> 00:00:29,892
on VOD, DVD or whatever
the fuck format
16
00:00:29,894 --> 00:00:32,561
you're watching it
on but if you're
17
00:00:32,563 --> 00:00:34,630
not watching it on
one of those formats
18
00:00:34,632 --> 00:00:37,633
and you're a cheap ass, no
good, dick suckin' motherfucker
19
00:00:37,635 --> 00:00:40,770
it means that you are
pirating the fuckin' movie
20
00:00:40,772 --> 00:00:43,739
- and you are, my friend...
- Dicks.
21
00:00:43,741 --> 00:00:44,607
- Piece of shit.
- Yes.
22
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,609
- Piece of shit dicks.
- Dicks, yeah.
23
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,711
Yeah, you're a piece
of shit dick, so.
24
00:00:48,713 --> 00:00:50,012
Dicks!
25
00:00:50,014 --> 00:00:52,481
You need to not pirate
this motherfucker, okay?
26
00:00:52,483 --> 00:00:54,483
We all busted our
fuckin' ass on this movie
27
00:00:54,485 --> 00:00:56,652
for three fuckin'
years so you guys
28
00:00:56,654 --> 00:00:58,721
could fuckin' enjoy
this motherfucker.
29
00:00:58,723 --> 00:01:00,389
- All yous.
- And after you get done
30
00:01:00,391 --> 00:01:01,624
watching it, you're
gonna agree with us
31
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:04,393
that this a good
fuckin' movie, so...
32
00:01:04,395 --> 00:01:06,529
- They're gonna like it.
- So if you did pirate
33
00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:08,698
the motherfucker, you
know, if you're a fuckin'
34
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,499
butt pirate or whatever the
fuck you wanna call yourself.
35
00:01:10,501 --> 00:01:12,668
- One of these.
- Watch the fuckin' movie
36
00:01:12,670 --> 00:01:14,804
and when it's done, then go buy
37
00:01:14,806 --> 00:01:15,972
the motherfuckin' movie, okay?
38
00:01:15,974 --> 00:01:16,907
Buy it!
39
00:01:16,909 --> 00:01:18,340
Cause if you're pirating it,
40
00:01:18,342 --> 00:01:19,575
you're gonna know it's
a good fuckin' movie
41
00:01:19,577 --> 00:01:23,279
and if you're not pirating it,
we wanna thank yous because...
42
00:01:23,281 --> 00:01:24,513
All of yous.
43
00:01:24,515 --> 00:01:25,782
Yous are some
cool motherfuckers
44
00:01:25,784 --> 00:01:28,785
- and we's appreciate you.
- We's.
45
00:01:28,787 --> 00:01:29,986
- We's appreciate yous, okay?
- Him and me.
46
00:01:29,988 --> 00:01:31,822
- So thank you very much.
- Yeah.
47
00:01:31,824 --> 00:01:34,725
- Enjoy the fuckin' movie.
- Enjoy it, dicks!
48
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:35,761
- Peace out.
- Peace!
49
00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:41,299
(WATER SLOSHING)
50
00:01:51,309 --> 00:01:51,910
Hey, Rowdy.
51
00:01:53,579 --> 00:01:55,078
Yeah, Cletus?
52
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,080
How much you think we're gonna
get for killin' this thing?
53
00:01:57,082 --> 00:01:59,417
About a million dollars.
54
00:02:00,686 --> 00:02:02,986
And we're gonna split
that like 50/50, right?
55
00:02:02,988 --> 00:02:04,488
Like?
56
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:06,056
400 thousand each?
57
00:02:06,058 --> 00:02:07,824
You lost your goddamn mind?
58
00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:09,893
We not splittin' it 50/50.
59
00:02:09,895 --> 00:02:11,762
Hell, I got the
weapons, the traps,
60
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:13,897
even brought the goddamn beer.
61
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:15,866
Only thing I brought
your ass along for
62
00:02:15,868 --> 00:02:17,100
is so you could help
me drag the body
63
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:19,870
out of the goddamn woods.
64
00:02:19,872 --> 00:02:21,104
Alright.
65
00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:22,105
I was just hoping to
get enough, you know,
66
00:02:22,107 --> 00:02:25,108
to help me get a
new double wide.
67
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:25,942
Gonna need a huntin' dog.
68
00:02:25,944 --> 00:02:27,412
Maybe get a bass boat.
69
00:02:28,847 --> 00:02:31,114
Yeah, that oughta be
enough for all that.
70
00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:33,485
You don't think real
big do you, Cletus?
71
00:02:36,855 --> 00:02:39,489
I figure about 20 percent.
72
00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:41,058
Like a hundred Benjamins?
73
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:41,892
Aw, man, that'd be awesome!
74
00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:43,495
That works for me!
75
00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:46,396
Sure, Cletus,
whatever you say.
76
00:02:46,398 --> 00:02:47,864
Let's just
77
00:02:47,866 --> 00:02:48,867
be quiet so's we can
78
00:02:50,702 --> 00:02:51,802
sneak up on this thing.
79
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:56,775
(WATER SLOSHING)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
80
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,577
I'm ready to get out
of this damn canoe.
81
00:03:00,579 --> 00:03:01,413
Come on.
82
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,781
Here, take this damn paddle
and stick in the boat for me.
83
00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:05,617
God, damn.
84
00:03:07,452 --> 00:03:08,687
I'll get you a gun.
85
00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:11,621
Thanks, Rowdy.
86
00:03:11,623 --> 00:03:13,557
I shoulda brought my sister.
87
00:03:13,559 --> 00:03:14,260
Why, is she hot?
88
00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:20,733
(EERIE MUSIC)
Rowdy, dude, Rowdy.
89
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,502
Look, restricted
area, do not enter.
90
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,773
Well, hell yeah it's
a restricted area.
91
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,472
You think they just
gonna invite people
92
00:03:29,474 --> 00:03:31,175
up here to kill things?
93
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:33,044
Come on, damn it,
get in front of me.
94
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,979
But that movie with the
kids and the witch thing,
95
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,080
- they all died!
- I wanna see you
96
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:37,650
at all times, march.
97
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:39,917
And be quiet, damn it.
98
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:41,686
You did take a look at
all that information
99
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,856
I sent you and study all
those pictures, right?
100
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,791
Well, of course, I did.
101
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,593
Good, cause there was
a shit ton of important
102
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,061
information in there and
if you don't know it,
103
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,865
you're gonna get us both killed.
104
00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:55,533
Maybe we should review
it just to make sure
105
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:56,934
- I didn't forget anything.
- God damn it, Cletus.
106
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:58,736
You didn't look at one
damn thing, did you?
107
00:03:58,738 --> 00:03:59,904
Alright, fine, you caught me.
108
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,672
But, come on, what's the
worst thing that could happen?
109
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:02,807
What's the worst
thing that could happen?
110
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:03,977
Are you kidding me?
111
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,511
Let's take a second here to
review the rules, alright?
112
00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:09,847
Rule one: absolutely
no pissin' or shittin'
113
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:10,948
of any kind out
here in the woods.
114
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,450
If you're gonna do
it, you gotta do it
115
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,219
in a bag or in a bottle
cause if this thing
116
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,020
gets one scent of
you, he'll be down
117
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:18,789
on top of us in a few seconds
and he'll kill us both.
118
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:23,628
Number two: no loud noises,
keep your voice down.
119
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:24,829
I been telling you that.
120
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:28,401
And number three: absolutely
no fornification of any kind.
121
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:30,235
Fornification?
122
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,871
You mean, like, getting it on?
123
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,106
Man, I don't know what you got
124
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,606
planned for out here
but I'm not like that.
125
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,209
It's okay if you are.
126
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:38,911
Cletus, I ain't gay
127
00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:41,880
and I sure as hell wouldn't
be gay with you if I was.
128
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,682
I'm just trying to tell you
this thing is territorial
129
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:48,086
and it's very important
that you follow the rules.
130
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:52,523
The thing it hates most in
the world is male ejaculate.
131
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:53,759
So you just keep it zipped up.
132
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,127
Keep your tally
whacker in your pants
133
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,562
and we'll be just fine.
134
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:58,931
Now come on.
135
00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:00,232
I actually got
buttons not a zipper.
136
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:02,870
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
137
00:05:08,943 --> 00:05:09,942
Well, really, Rowdy.
138
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:13,147
- Why wouldn't you like me...
- Watch the tree.
139
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,020
It's slippery down here.
140
00:05:23,958 --> 00:05:25,857
Wait.
141
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,059
Wait.
142
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:29,930
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
143
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,202
Looks like a football.
144
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,672
It's got the toes.
145
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,940
And a heel!
146
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,175
Shh.
147
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,778
Could we set the trap now?
148
00:05:46,981 --> 00:05:48,015
Wait.
149
00:05:49,984 --> 00:05:50,818
Not yet.
150
00:05:53,254 --> 00:05:54,155
He's out there.
151
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,490
Let's go.
152
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,559
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
153
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,928
I'll spread around
here, help me out.
154
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:03,929
You and I are gonna split up.
155
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,264
I'm gonna take a spot up
over there in the woods,
156
00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:06,732
you're gonna take
a spot over here.
157
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,601
If you need
anything, don't yell.
158
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,938
Alright, you just make a whistle
sound like a little bird.
159
00:06:11,940 --> 00:06:12,904
- Alright?
- Okay, okay.
160
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:13,605
- Got it?
- Okay.
161
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:14,242
Let's go.
162
00:06:17,178 --> 00:06:18,577
- Hey, Rowdy?
- Yeah?
163
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:19,979
You know, ever since
you brought it up,
164
00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:21,948
I kinda gotta pee.
165
00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:22,882
Okay, take this jug with you
166
00:06:22,884 --> 00:06:23,950
and you piss in that.
167
00:06:23,952 --> 00:06:25,650
If you fill it up, you drink it.
168
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:26,786
Of course I ain't doing that.
169
00:06:26,788 --> 00:06:27,954
Yeah, they do it on the
survival shows all the time.
170
00:06:27,956 --> 00:06:29,989
This ain't no survival show!
171
00:06:29,991 --> 00:06:31,891
If you pour that
out on the ground,
172
00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:34,060
then this thing's
gonna smell that.
173
00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:36,095
It's gonna be on top
of us in no time.
174
00:06:36,097 --> 00:06:36,963
(CLETUS SCOFFS)
175
00:06:36,965 --> 00:06:38,331
Now, look, they say
it's good for you.
176
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:39,365
They even cook with
it, now come on.
177
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:40,599
Let's get this son of a bitch.
178
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,135
Go take your spot.
179
00:06:42,137 --> 00:06:43,638
Fucking kidding.
180
00:06:48,643 --> 00:06:51,112
(CLETUS GROANS)
181
00:06:52,347 --> 00:06:53,980
(INTENSE MUSIC)
182
00:06:53,982 --> 00:06:55,016
Oh, gross, man!
183
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,186
I ain't drinkin'
that shit anyhow.
184
00:07:00,622 --> 00:07:03,858
(ANIMALISTIC GROWLING)
185
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:07,727
Oh, gross.
186
00:07:07,729 --> 00:07:09,028
Hey, Rowdy, I think I hear it!
187
00:07:09,030 --> 00:07:10,129
- I think I hear him!
- Cletus!
188
00:07:10,131 --> 00:07:10,830
I told you to whistle!
189
00:07:10,832 --> 00:07:12,198
Well, I got pee on my hands.
190
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,833
I ain't got no hand sanitizer.
191
00:07:13,835 --> 00:07:15,402
Cletus, you're
gonna get us killed!
192
00:07:15,404 --> 00:07:16,235
I think he's coming!
193
00:07:16,237 --> 00:07:17,070
Stay away!
194
00:07:17,072 --> 00:07:18,272
Stay away!
195
00:07:18,274 --> 00:07:19,373
Pull it together, pull
it together, Cletus.
196
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:20,640
CLETUS: He's coming, Rowdy!
197
00:07:20,642 --> 00:07:21,375
Shh!
198
00:07:21,377 --> 00:07:22,309
Hey, you're gonna get us killed!
199
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,109
I don't know where to go!
200
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,043
I don't know what to do!
201
00:07:24,045 --> 00:07:25,180
I don't know where he's at!
202
00:07:26,081 --> 00:07:27,113
Oh shit.
203
00:07:27,115 --> 00:07:29,149
(INTENSE MUSIC)
204
00:07:29,151 --> 00:07:30,150
Hey, hey!
205
00:07:30,152 --> 00:07:30,983
He's behind you!
206
00:07:30,985 --> 00:07:31,818
He's behind you!
207
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:32,919
CLETUS: Oh, shit!
208
00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:34,087
- I stepped in the pee again!
- Turn around, shoot it!
209
00:07:34,089 --> 00:07:34,921
Shoot it!
210
00:07:34,923 --> 00:07:36,323
Come over here
or I'll come there!
211
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:40,795
(LOUD GROWLING)
(CLETUS SCREAMING)
212
00:07:42,697 --> 00:07:44,031
(CLETUS CHOKING)
213
00:07:44,033 --> 00:07:48,003
(LOUD GUNSHOTS AND GROWLING)
214
00:07:48,937 --> 00:07:51,038
(CLETUS CHOKING AND GURGLING)
215
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,039
(INTENSE MUSIC)
216
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:54,408
(LOUD GROWLING)
217
00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:57,712
(SCATTERED GUNSHOTS)
218
00:08:02,051 --> 00:08:03,383
No, no, no!
219
00:08:03,385 --> 00:08:05,152
No, no, no, no, no, no!
220
00:08:05,154 --> 00:08:05,986
(ROWDY GRUNTS)
221
00:08:05,988 --> 00:08:08,924
(BEASTLY GROWLING)
222
00:08:16,298 --> 00:08:17,231
No!
223
00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:18,067
No!
224
00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:21,135
(ROWDY SCREAMING)
225
00:08:21,137 --> 00:08:24,006
(INTENSE MUSIC)
226
00:08:32,248 --> 00:08:34,917
(WOMAN MOANING)
227
00:08:43,993 --> 00:08:46,026
The fuck are you
watching up there, man?
228
00:08:46,028 --> 00:08:47,161
Stay focused.
229
00:08:47,163 --> 00:08:47,997
Shit.
230
00:08:50,433 --> 00:08:53,934
(VINNY LAUGHS)
231
00:08:53,936 --> 00:08:55,271
- Fuckin' kid.
- Oh, shit.
232
00:08:58,073 --> 00:08:58,908
Hey, man.
233
00:08:59,975 --> 00:09:02,910
What's the craziest thing
you done with a chick?
234
00:09:02,912 --> 00:09:04,845
There's this
one chick at work,
235
00:09:04,847 --> 00:09:07,215
she used to love to come
down and suck my dick.
236
00:09:07,217 --> 00:09:09,082
Every morning before
anybody else got to work.
237
00:09:09,084 --> 00:09:10,285
Nice.
238
00:09:10,287 --> 00:09:11,252
But I tried to fuck
her this one time
239
00:09:11,254 --> 00:09:13,221
in this bathroom that
was under construction,
240
00:09:13,223 --> 00:09:15,123
she fucking totally
freaked out on me.
241
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:16,224
It's like she'd
rather get caught
242
00:09:16,226 --> 00:09:17,458
with my dick in her mouth.
243
00:09:17,460 --> 00:09:19,093
(MEN LAUGH)
244
00:09:19,095 --> 00:09:20,027
Made no sense.
245
00:09:20,029 --> 00:09:21,062
That's pretty hot, though.
246
00:09:21,064 --> 00:09:22,896
- It was pretty hot.
- Ah, but I got something
247
00:09:22,898 --> 00:09:24,199
that'll blow your minds.
248
00:09:24,201 --> 00:09:25,533
Happened to me last night.
249
00:09:25,535 --> 00:09:26,900
Wait a second,
you're telling me
250
00:09:26,902 --> 00:09:28,269
you got your dick
sucked every single day
251
00:09:28,271 --> 00:09:29,470
at work and you
never got caught?
252
00:09:29,472 --> 00:09:31,139
Not every day, but
253
00:09:31,141 --> 00:09:33,374
I got it sucked several
times a week, yeah.
254
00:09:33,376 --> 00:09:36,244
You weren't afraid
of getting fired?
255
00:09:36,246 --> 00:09:37,278
Not really, I
mean, shit we were
256
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,214
going through layoffs anyway.
257
00:09:39,216 --> 00:09:41,216
But the chick did tell the boss.
258
00:09:41,218 --> 00:09:42,150
- I didn't give a fuck.
- Wait, wait, wait.
259
00:09:42,152 --> 00:09:43,952
So he wasn't pissed about it?
260
00:09:43,954 --> 00:09:45,220
Not really.
261
00:09:45,222 --> 00:09:46,354
He just called me to
his office and said,
262
00:09:46,356 --> 00:09:47,922
if you get caught getting
your dick sucked at work,
263
00:09:47,924 --> 00:09:50,191
I'ma have to fire your ass
264
00:09:50,193 --> 00:09:52,128
but until then, have fun.
265
00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:54,262
Alright, alright,
enough already.
266
00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:55,899
Can I tell you my story?
267
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:58,233
Yeah, tell your
fuckin' story, man.
268
00:09:58,235 --> 00:10:00,268
It's a good story!
269
00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:02,839
So last night I'm fuckin'
this super hot chick.
270
00:10:03,974 --> 00:10:05,408
- Wow.
- And she was a squirter.
271
00:10:06,443 --> 00:10:09,145
(WOMAN MOANS)
272
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,479
(VINNY SPUTTERS)
273
00:10:11,481 --> 00:10:12,315
Wow!
274
00:10:14,251 --> 00:10:16,050
It's not a myth!
275
00:10:16,052 --> 00:10:16,985
(VINNY LAUGHS)
276
00:10:16,987 --> 00:10:18,886
She shat out diarrhea on you?
277
00:10:18,888 --> 00:10:21,189
Her pussy shot out
shit on him, man.
278
00:10:21,191 --> 00:10:22,123
Yeah, that's what I said.
279
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,259
What he meant was,
she shot pussy juice
280
00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:25,762
out of her vag, dude.
281
00:10:26,597 --> 00:10:28,231
So you're serious, man?
282
00:10:29,299 --> 00:10:31,065
You actually fucked a squirter?
283
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:32,000
The myth?
284
00:10:32,002 --> 00:10:33,968
I assure you, it was real.
285
00:10:33,970 --> 00:10:36,271
Freaked me the fuck
out, but it was so hot.
286
00:10:36,273 --> 00:10:38,239
Oh shit, she just left.
287
00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:39,242
Get ready, guys.
288
00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:41,510
Fuck, man!
289
00:10:41,512 --> 00:10:42,478
I told you to keep
an eye out, man.
290
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,382
What the fuck were you doin'?
291
00:10:45,616 --> 00:10:47,784
Only got a few seconds
to make this shit happen.
292
00:10:52,088 --> 00:10:53,355
How am I lookin', we good?
293
00:10:53,357 --> 00:10:55,190
VINNY: Yeah, got it
inside out but fuck it.
294
00:10:55,192 --> 00:10:56,425
Fuck it.
295
00:10:56,427 --> 00:10:58,993
Alright, brother, this
is what we planned.
296
00:10:58,995 --> 00:10:59,961
Alright, ready.
297
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,029
JINX: Let's do this, man.
298
00:11:01,031 --> 00:11:01,929
Let's fucking do it.
299
00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,198
- Here.
- One, two.
300
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,133
Hey, man, don't
leave me hanging.
301
00:11:04,135 --> 00:11:04,932
VINNY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
302
00:11:04,934 --> 00:11:05,634
Fuckin' A, man.
303
00:11:05,636 --> 00:11:08,103
- Ready?
- One, two.
304
00:11:08,105 --> 00:11:10,439
(CAR DOORS CLICK OPEN)
305
00:11:10,441 --> 00:11:11,275
Oh my God.
306
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,946
This is crazy, this is
crazy, this is crazy.
307
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:18,580
It's crazy!
308
00:11:18,582 --> 00:11:21,252
(INTENSE MUSIC)
309
00:11:24,488 --> 00:11:26,188
It's unlocked, let's go.
310
00:11:26,190 --> 00:11:27,389
Go, go, go, go!
311
00:11:27,391 --> 00:11:29,358
JINX: Okay, whoo.
312
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,027
(DOOR CLAMORS SHUT)
313
00:11:32,029 --> 00:11:34,498
(INTENSE MUSIC)
314
00:11:42,406 --> 00:11:45,341
Freeze, motherfucker!
(MAN SCREAMS)
315
00:11:45,343 --> 00:11:46,542
What the fuck?
316
00:11:46,544 --> 00:11:47,345
What the?
317
00:11:49,914 --> 00:11:51,548
He fucking fainted.
318
00:11:51,550 --> 00:11:53,315
Well, that wasn't
supposed to happen.
319
00:11:53,317 --> 00:11:54,185
Oh, shit.
320
00:11:55,587 --> 00:11:57,152
What the?
321
00:11:57,154 --> 00:11:57,986
Oh, shit.
322
00:11:57,988 --> 00:11:58,590
What the fuck?
323
00:11:59,491 --> 00:12:01,423
Ah, fuck, it didn't flush.
324
00:12:01,425 --> 00:12:04,326
Oh, disgusting.
(TOILET FLUSHING)
325
00:12:04,328 --> 00:12:05,528
I gotta get something
for his head.
326
00:12:05,530 --> 00:12:07,499
We can't carry
him out like that.
327
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,232
I can see his ball sac, man.
328
00:12:10,234 --> 00:12:12,502
Are we gonna wipe his ass?
329
00:12:12,504 --> 00:12:13,436
JINX: You shitting me?
330
00:12:13,438 --> 00:12:14,404
Do we need to wipe his ass?
331
00:12:14,406 --> 00:12:15,239
I don't know.
332
00:12:16,173 --> 00:12:17,407
JINX: Let's just hope
it was a clean shit.
333
00:12:17,409 --> 00:12:19,609
Am I gonna pull up his pants?
334
00:12:19,611 --> 00:12:22,111
I'll do it if you
do the head, man.
335
00:12:22,113 --> 00:12:23,147
Jesus Christ.
336
00:12:25,484 --> 00:12:26,316
(MAN SIGHS)
337
00:12:26,318 --> 00:12:27,617
VINNY: It's your
idea, so fuck it.
338
00:12:27,619 --> 00:12:28,453
Oh, God.
339
00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:34,022
(JINX GROANS)
340
00:12:34,024 --> 00:12:34,959
Oh, shit.
341
00:12:36,128 --> 00:12:37,394
I think that's gonna
have to work, man.
342
00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:39,195
I can't really touch
all this, you know?
343
00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:40,397
I touched enough for me.
344
00:12:40,399 --> 00:12:42,732
We'll fix him when
he gets in the van.
345
00:12:42,734 --> 00:12:45,504
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
346
00:12:47,406 --> 00:12:48,373
Oh, fuck, he's heavy.
347
00:12:49,574 --> 00:12:50,407
(MAN FARTS)
348
00:12:50,409 --> 00:12:52,308
Oh, dude, farting!
349
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:53,610
Fuck.
350
00:12:53,612 --> 00:12:57,113
(MEN GRUNTING)
351
00:12:57,115 --> 00:12:59,084
- What the?
- Watch where you're going.
352
00:13:00,318 --> 00:13:01,384
Kiss my ass, lady.
353
00:13:01,386 --> 00:13:03,386
Kissin' ass is out of style.
354
00:13:03,388 --> 00:13:05,257
Lay down and I'll
shit in your mouth.
355
00:13:06,591 --> 00:13:08,191
What?
356
00:13:08,193 --> 00:13:09,426
You better be nice, lady,
357
00:13:09,428 --> 00:13:10,226
or I'll come back and
steal your scooter.
358
00:13:10,228 --> 00:13:12,195
You're not
stealin' my scooter,
359
00:13:12,197 --> 00:13:14,966
you motherfuckin'
son of a bitch.
360
00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:17,233
What the fuck?
361
00:13:17,235 --> 00:13:18,501
Ah, fuck it, dude,
come on, let's go.
362
00:13:18,503 --> 00:13:19,436
Let's get outta here.
363
00:13:19,438 --> 00:13:21,104
Hey, assholes, where
are you taking him?
364
00:13:21,106 --> 00:13:22,505
I'm calling the cops.
365
00:13:22,507 --> 00:13:24,608
(INTENSE MUSIC)
366
00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:26,411
- What the hell, man?
- Unlock!
367
00:13:27,647 --> 00:13:30,648
- You're supposed to help us.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck!
368
00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:32,048
Don't you know how
to fuckin' knock?
369
00:13:32,050 --> 00:13:33,483
What the fuck
were you doing, man?
370
00:13:33,485 --> 00:13:35,351
(MEN YELLING)
371
00:13:35,353 --> 00:13:36,554
Oh, fuck!
372
00:13:36,556 --> 00:13:38,254
Jesus Christ,
okay, okay, alright.
373
00:13:38,256 --> 00:13:40,458
- I told you to stay focused.
- Go, go!
374
00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:43,059
How do I fuckin' turn
the emergency brake off?
375
00:13:43,061 --> 00:13:44,260
Fuck, how do I?
376
00:13:44,262 --> 00:13:45,629
Why'd you set the
emergency brake?
377
00:13:45,631 --> 00:13:47,565
It's for fucking safety!
378
00:13:47,567 --> 00:13:49,032
- Jesus Christ!
- Man, go!
379
00:13:49,034 --> 00:13:51,335
The old lady is gonna
get our license plate!
380
00:13:51,337 --> 00:13:52,168
Oh, God.
381
00:13:52,170 --> 00:13:53,437
Oh, fuck, rag okay.
382
00:13:53,439 --> 00:13:55,271
Cum everywhere, fuck!
383
00:13:55,273 --> 00:13:56,576
Okay, oh, shit.
384
00:13:58,578 --> 00:13:59,810
Alright, we're set!
385
00:13:59,812 --> 00:14:02,047
He's okay, that
was fucking fast.
386
00:14:05,284 --> 00:14:06,452
Okay, tape his hands.
387
00:14:07,553 --> 00:14:09,620
(MAN GRUNTS)
388
00:14:09,622 --> 00:14:12,223
- Alright, alright.
- I think that's good enough.
389
00:14:12,225 --> 00:14:13,591
That works.
390
00:14:13,593 --> 00:14:14,460
What a rush, huh?
391
00:14:16,662 --> 00:14:18,029
I did not expect that.
392
00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:23,135
I'm gonna lay down.
393
00:14:24,537 --> 00:14:26,437
(VINNY CHUCKLES)
394
00:14:26,439 --> 00:14:28,839
Whoo!
(CHUCKLES)
395
00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:30,009
Oh, man.
396
00:14:31,344 --> 00:14:33,110
The fuck you doing, man?
397
00:14:33,112 --> 00:14:34,514
Fuckin' hornball.
398
00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:37,581
Hey, what are you listening to?
399
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:39,149
It's my song.
400
00:14:39,151 --> 00:14:40,184
VINNY: That's your song?
401
00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:41,552
It's my jam.
402
00:14:41,554 --> 00:14:43,022
It fucking sucks.
403
00:14:48,829 --> 00:14:51,428
That's rock n' roll, man!
404
00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:52,429
Yeah!
405
00:14:52,431 --> 00:14:54,634
(ROCK MUSIC)
406
00:15:07,547 --> 00:15:10,582
♪ Big time on the other side
407
00:15:10,584 --> 00:15:12,651
♪ On the inside
408
00:15:12,653 --> 00:15:14,184
♪ Of my
409
00:15:14,186 --> 00:15:15,252
♪ Pop genocide
410
00:15:15,254 --> 00:15:18,557
♪ Big man with the sick car
411
00:15:18,559 --> 00:15:20,357
♪ Cause it shines on
412
00:15:20,359 --> 00:15:21,493
♪ It's all
413
00:15:21,495 --> 00:15:22,761
♪ It's all dynamite
414
00:15:22,763 --> 00:15:24,128
♪ Big sound
415
00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:25,897
♪ Shake the underground
416
00:15:25,899 --> 00:15:29,166
♪ Shake the whole
world with my ♪
417
00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:31,168
♪ Pop genocide
418
00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:32,837
♪ I hear it
419
00:15:32,839 --> 00:15:34,739
♪ You need it
420
00:15:34,741 --> 00:15:36,675
♪ I feel it
421
00:15:36,677 --> 00:15:38,208
♪ Pop genocide
422
00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:39,544
Jarrett.
423
00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:41,548
You are following the
directions, right?
424
00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:43,615
Yeah, I'm followin' the GPS.
425
00:15:43,617 --> 00:15:45,383
JINX: Not the
GPS, the directions
426
00:15:45,385 --> 00:15:46,718
that I gave you to follow!
427
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,219
The GPS is gonna get us lost!
428
00:15:48,221 --> 00:15:50,622
Let me out or I'll
pop you full of lead!
429
00:15:50,624 --> 00:15:51,856
What the fuck?
430
00:15:51,858 --> 00:15:53,425
Get him, get the gun!
431
00:15:53,427 --> 00:15:54,726
(LOUD GUNSHOT)
(RINGING)
432
00:15:54,728 --> 00:15:56,261
(JINX YELLS)
433
00:15:56,263 --> 00:15:57,562
My fucking ear, man.
434
00:15:57,564 --> 00:15:58,730
What the fuck?
435
00:15:58,732 --> 00:15:59,898
What the, what the fuck?
436
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,399
Oh my God.
437
00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:02,500
Can I get the shit?
438
00:16:02,502 --> 00:16:03,702
- Get that shit?
- Just stop pulling it,
439
00:16:03,704 --> 00:16:04,769
put him out!
440
00:16:04,771 --> 00:16:06,304
Get the cum rag!
441
00:16:06,306 --> 00:16:07,472
Jarrett, the cum rag!
442
00:16:07,474 --> 00:16:08,540
VINNY: Fuck, fuck!
443
00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:09,641
Just fucking pour it on there.
444
00:16:09,643 --> 00:16:10,809
Pour it on the cum rag.
445
00:16:10,811 --> 00:16:11,710
(VINNY COUGHS)
446
00:16:11,712 --> 00:16:12,579
Holy shit.
447
00:16:13,714 --> 00:16:14,646
(JINX YELLS)
448
00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:15,580
Put it on his fucking face.
449
00:16:15,582 --> 00:16:16,348
Where is it, right there?
450
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,684
Oh, oh my God.
451
00:16:18,752 --> 00:16:20,953
VINNY: Is it working?
452
00:16:20,955 --> 00:16:22,520
I think it worked.
453
00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:23,355
I think it worked.
454
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,589
(COUGHS) Oh, God.
455
00:16:24,591 --> 00:16:25,523
(COUGHING CONTINUES)
456
00:16:25,525 --> 00:16:28,259
JINX: Who the fuck
carries an ankle gun?
457
00:16:28,261 --> 00:16:30,462
Well, this dude does.
458
00:16:30,464 --> 00:16:31,897
Well, next time
we'll check but.
459
00:16:31,899 --> 00:16:34,699
That was so
fucking close, huh?
460
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:35,770
Shot up on the fuckin', huh.
461
00:16:37,504 --> 00:16:38,671
Oh, that was close, oh my god.
462
00:16:38,673 --> 00:16:41,206
Whoo.
(CHUCKLES)
463
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,440
Get some more tape.
464
00:16:42,442 --> 00:16:44,309
We need more tape
for this fucker.
465
00:16:44,311 --> 00:16:45,613
I'll tape him this time, shit.
466
00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:51,418
(WOLVES HOWLING)
467
00:16:52,352 --> 00:16:54,822
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
468
00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:00,726
Hey, uncle, we're here.
469
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:01,627
What?
470
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:04,664
- We're here, we made it.
- It's dark.
471
00:17:04,666 --> 00:17:05,531
Yeah, it's 8:50.
472
00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:08,299
We lost a few hours,
but we got here!
473
00:17:08,301 --> 00:17:09,769
We're so late.
474
00:17:09,771 --> 00:17:11,537
This was supposed to
be done hours ago.
475
00:17:11,539 --> 00:17:13,374
Where the fuck are we, man?
476
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:14,907
JARRETT: In the woods.
477
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,008
(JARRETT CHUCKLES)
478
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,977
- There's no road.
- Yeah.
479
00:17:17,979 --> 00:17:19,747
We're in the middle of nowhere.
480
00:17:20,682 --> 00:17:22,314
JINX: Alright,
Jarrett, go make sure
481
00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,417
- everything is taken care of.
- Alright, you got it.
482
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:25,286
Let me grab this.
483
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,520
JINX: Take the
lantern with you.
484
00:17:27,522 --> 00:17:28,688
(JARRETT CHUCKLES)
485
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:30,322
It's bright.
486
00:17:30,324 --> 00:17:31,691
Oh, oh!
487
00:17:31,693 --> 00:17:33,325
- I'm gonna leave the key, you...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
488
00:17:33,327 --> 00:17:34,228
Just, just go, go.
489
00:17:35,396 --> 00:17:36,696
(CAR DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
490
00:17:36,698 --> 00:17:39,734
(JARRETT YELLING)
491
00:17:41,803 --> 00:17:43,269
Wow.
492
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,804
Thought we'd never make it.
493
00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:45,905
(VINNY CHUCKLES)
494
00:17:45,907 --> 00:17:46,741
JINX: Vinny.
495
00:17:47,909 --> 00:17:50,509
It's time to wake this
son of a bitch up.
496
00:17:50,511 --> 00:17:51,510
Let's do it.
497
00:17:51,512 --> 00:17:53,982
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
498
00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:04,724
(TAPE RIPPING)
499
00:18:04,726 --> 00:18:07,560
(MAN SCREAMS)
500
00:18:07,562 --> 00:18:08,728
Look, I'm supposed to be
501
00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:09,729
at my wedding rehearsal
dinner right now.
502
00:18:09,731 --> 00:18:10,964
- Hey!
- What?
503
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,331
Calm the fuck down
and keep walking.
504
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:13,365
Look, guys, if I
don't make that dinner,
505
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:14,868
my fiancee's gonna kill me.
506
00:18:14,870 --> 00:18:16,770
Let me get this straight,
507
00:18:16,772 --> 00:18:18,637
we're about to blow
your fuckin' brains out
508
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,875
and you're worried about
what your woman might think.
509
00:18:21,877 --> 00:18:23,777
This dude has
some major problems,
510
00:18:23,779 --> 00:18:25,578
he deserves to fuckin' die.
511
00:18:25,580 --> 00:18:27,783
(ROCK MUSIC)
512
00:18:30,953 --> 00:18:32,888
JINX: Get down here.
513
00:18:39,795 --> 00:18:43,966
Anybody that's this pathetic,
pussy whipped is pathetic.
514
00:18:46,401 --> 00:18:47,033
I'm not pussy whipped!
515
00:18:47,035 --> 00:18:48,871
I just love my fiancee.
516
00:18:49,905 --> 00:18:51,438
Yeah.
517
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,906
Well.
518
00:18:52,908 --> 00:18:55,742
Any last words before
we end your pathetic
519
00:18:55,744 --> 00:18:57,846
miserable pussy whipped life?
520
00:19:00,449 --> 00:19:02,115
Please, please don't kill me.
521
00:19:02,117 --> 00:19:03,784
Shut the fuck up.
522
00:19:03,786 --> 00:19:05,819
Go out with some fucking
balls, for God's sakes.
523
00:19:05,821 --> 00:19:07,020
Have a little dignity!
524
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:08,755
I'll, I'll do anything.
525
00:19:08,757 --> 00:19:09,589
Anything!
526
00:19:09,591 --> 00:19:10,690
You'll do anything?
527
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:11,525
(JINX LAUGHS)
528
00:19:11,527 --> 00:19:12,359
You hear that?
529
00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:13,493
He'll do anything.
530
00:19:13,495 --> 00:19:14,694
He ain't got
nothing that we want.
531
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:15,796
That's right.
532
00:19:15,798 --> 00:19:16,663
We're not gay.
533
00:19:16,665 --> 00:19:18,932
You can't suck our
fucking dicks off.
534
00:19:18,934 --> 00:19:19,933
Yeah.
535
00:19:19,935 --> 00:19:21,802
Yeah, we're not.
536
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:23,137
We're not gay.
537
00:19:23,139 --> 00:19:25,605
I'm not, I'm not gay.
538
00:19:25,607 --> 00:19:28,475
Nothing against gay people
but I'm not, you know?
539
00:19:28,477 --> 00:19:30,811
I just, I just don't
wanna suck a dick.
540
00:19:30,813 --> 00:19:32,512
Yeah, well.
541
00:19:32,514 --> 00:19:33,446
I say we kill him like they did
542
00:19:33,448 --> 00:19:35,415
in that movie we like so much.
543
00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:38,585
- Fuckin' Boondocks style.
- Ah, hell yeah!
544
00:19:38,587 --> 00:19:40,922
Yeah, that's what
I'm talkin' about.
545
00:19:40,924 --> 00:19:42,089
(MAN SOBS)
546
00:19:42,091 --> 00:19:44,624
- Oh, god.
- On the count of three.
547
00:19:44,626 --> 00:19:45,927
Three.
548
00:19:45,929 --> 00:19:46,762
Two.
549
00:19:47,596 --> 00:19:48,896
Oh, hold on a sec.
550
00:19:48,898 --> 00:19:49,764
I think we should
show him who we are
551
00:19:49,766 --> 00:19:50,932
before we blow his
fuckin' head off.
552
00:19:50,934 --> 00:19:52,033
What do you say?
553
00:19:52,035 --> 00:19:53,500
- Oh, yeah.
- Let's do it.
554
00:19:53,502 --> 00:19:56,037
Let's take this fuckin'
thing off his head.
555
00:19:56,039 --> 00:19:56,873
What?
556
00:20:03,947 --> 00:20:05,112
Alright.
557
00:20:05,114 --> 00:20:06,881
Turn the fuck around.
558
00:20:06,883 --> 00:20:07,917
Turn around!
559
00:20:08,852 --> 00:20:09,886
That's right.
560
00:20:10,787 --> 00:20:11,919
You ready?
561
00:20:11,921 --> 00:20:12,820
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
562
00:20:12,822 --> 00:20:14,188
Surprise!
563
00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:16,524
- (JINX LAUGHS)
- Surprise!
564
00:20:16,526 --> 00:20:17,959
Surprise!
565
00:20:17,961 --> 00:20:18,795
Surprise!
566
00:20:19,829 --> 00:20:20,862
Whoo!
567
00:20:20,864 --> 00:20:21,829
(VINNY LAUGHS)
568
00:20:21,831 --> 00:20:24,634
(MEN LAUGHING)
569
00:20:26,002 --> 00:20:27,802
Are you fucking kidding me?
570
00:20:27,804 --> 00:20:29,170
Hey, man, calm the fuck down.
571
00:20:29,172 --> 00:20:30,571
Chill out.
572
00:20:30,573 --> 00:20:33,109
(BEAST GROWLING)
573
00:20:35,979 --> 00:20:37,211
Man.
574
00:20:37,213 --> 00:20:39,146
Did we get you
good or what, huh?
575
00:20:39,148 --> 00:20:41,549
No, you're a sick fuck!
576
00:20:41,551 --> 00:20:44,585
Calm down, man, it's just
a fuckin' bachelor party.
577
00:20:44,587 --> 00:20:45,586
Surprise bachelor party for you.
578
00:20:45,588 --> 00:20:46,888
This is great, Jinx.
579
00:20:46,890 --> 00:20:48,956
You made me miss my
rehearsal dinner.
580
00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:50,725
You know Caroline's
gonna kill me for this.
581
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,961
The whole family came into
town tonight for this.
582
00:20:53,963 --> 00:20:55,096
Listen, man.
583
00:20:55,098 --> 00:20:56,998
How do you think
we pulled this off?
584
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,767
Caroline knew about
it the entire time.
585
00:20:59,769 --> 00:21:00,801
She helped us.
586
00:21:00,803 --> 00:21:02,003
No, you're lying, okay?
587
00:21:02,005 --> 00:21:03,738
Caroline would never
be in on pranks.
588
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:05,506
Especially something like this.
589
00:21:05,508 --> 00:21:06,841
How do you think that we knew
590
00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:09,877
the exact time that you
take a shit every day?
591
00:21:09,879 --> 00:21:10,878
She told us.
592
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,014
You can call her if you want.
593
00:21:12,016 --> 00:21:13,416
Yeah, I will call her.
594
00:21:14,251 --> 00:21:15,117
Phone?
595
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:15,986
Do you have mine?
596
00:21:17,054 --> 00:21:18,819
Oh yeah, I do, don't I?
597
00:21:18,821 --> 00:21:19,656
Go for it.
598
00:21:23,093 --> 00:21:25,093
You wanna get
this shit off of me?
599
00:21:25,095 --> 00:21:26,494
I guess that might
help a little bit, huh?
600
00:21:26,496 --> 00:21:27,728
Come on!
601
00:21:27,730 --> 00:21:29,465
Give me a second,
I gotta get my knife.
602
00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:33,735
Shit.
603
00:21:33,737 --> 00:21:34,838
Sorry about that, bro.
604
00:21:35,839 --> 00:21:37,074
I'll buy you a new shirt.
605
00:21:41,979 --> 00:21:43,577
Hi, baby.
606
00:21:43,579 --> 00:21:44,880
How's it goin'?
607
00:21:44,882 --> 00:21:45,814
Hey, sweetie.
608
00:21:45,816 --> 00:21:47,616
I'm so sorry I'm not
home for dinner tonight.
609
00:21:47,618 --> 00:21:50,018
Jinx and a couple of assholes
busted on me this morning
610
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:51,954
with guns and masks, I fainted,
611
00:21:51,956 --> 00:21:54,056
and drug me out in the
middle of the woods.
612
00:21:54,058 --> 00:21:55,090
Oh, I did wake up at one point
613
00:21:55,092 --> 00:21:56,825
and Jinx fucking
chloroformed me!
614
00:21:56,827 --> 00:21:59,061
Well, yeah, because
you tried to kill us.
615
00:21:59,063 --> 00:22:00,996
He chloroformed
you and you fainted?
616
00:22:00,998 --> 00:22:02,197
Are you okay?
617
00:22:02,199 --> 00:22:03,699
Yeah, I'm okay.
618
00:22:03,701 --> 00:22:05,200
Look, did you know
anything about this?
619
00:22:05,202 --> 00:22:06,034
(CAROLINE LAUGHS)
620
00:22:06,036 --> 00:22:07,736
Just calm down, baby.
621
00:22:07,738 --> 00:22:09,838
I knew everything.
622
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,009
Jinx and I have been
planning this for months.
623
00:22:13,677 --> 00:22:16,078
But you gotta admit, we got
you pretty good, didn't we?
624
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:16,945
Yeah.
625
00:22:16,947 --> 00:22:19,948
So there is no rehearsal
dinner tonight?
626
00:22:19,950 --> 00:22:20,983
Nope.
627
00:22:20,985 --> 00:22:23,585
That's gonna be next
Friday before the wedding.
628
00:22:23,587 --> 00:22:25,921
Both of our families
were in on it, too.
629
00:22:25,923 --> 00:22:26,955
(CAROLINE GIGGLES)
630
00:22:26,957 --> 00:22:28,623
Now don't worry
about anything else
631
00:22:28,625 --> 00:22:30,759
and just have some
fun with the boys.
632
00:22:30,761 --> 00:22:32,127
For Christ's sake.
633
00:22:32,129 --> 00:22:34,629
And, well, what are
you gonna do tonight?
634
00:22:34,631 --> 00:22:36,031
I mean, I don't like
the idea of you home
635
00:22:36,033 --> 00:22:38,301
all alone without
me all night long.
636
00:22:38,303 --> 00:22:40,136
I'm not home by myself.
637
00:22:40,138 --> 00:22:43,839
I'm over at Cameron's
and Callie's here
638
00:22:43,841 --> 00:22:45,974
and she's helping
me put my makeup on
639
00:22:45,976 --> 00:22:47,778
which is so sweet of her.
640
00:22:48,712 --> 00:22:50,046
It's all good.
641
00:22:50,048 --> 00:22:52,848
Hey, babe, would you put
Jinx on the phone for me?
642
00:22:52,850 --> 00:22:53,985
Okay, honey.
643
00:22:56,021 --> 00:22:57,686
(JINX CHUCKLES)
644
00:22:57,688 --> 00:22:58,888
Plan was awesome, scared
the shit out of him.
645
00:22:58,890 --> 00:23:00,025
You should've seen his face.
646
00:23:01,192 --> 00:23:02,959
Yeah, we couldn't have
done it without you.
647
00:23:02,961 --> 00:23:04,861
Jinx, you motherfucker,
648
00:23:04,863 --> 00:23:05,928
you better stick to the plan.
649
00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:07,196
I'm serious.
650
00:23:07,198 --> 00:23:10,833
No booze, no titty
bitches, nothing.
651
00:23:10,835 --> 00:23:12,634
If I find out any
of this is going on,
652
00:23:12,636 --> 00:23:14,137
you will experience
a wrath that you have
653
00:23:14,139 --> 00:23:16,906
never experienced before,
do you understand?
654
00:23:16,908 --> 00:23:18,107
I know, I know.
655
00:23:18,109 --> 00:23:20,076
You've told me a million times.
656
00:23:20,078 --> 00:23:23,179
No alcohol and no
strippers, I got it.
657
00:23:23,181 --> 00:23:26,682
Alright, well you go have some
fun and we'll see you later.
658
00:23:26,684 --> 00:23:27,919
Alright, good night.
659
00:23:30,889 --> 00:23:32,021
This is bullshit, Jinx.
660
00:23:32,023 --> 00:23:33,356
You know what, no.
661
00:23:33,358 --> 00:23:35,124
I'm not doing any of this, okay?
662
00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:37,026
I got some guy I
don't know humping me.
663
00:23:37,028 --> 00:23:37,960
Okay?
664
00:23:37,962 --> 00:23:39,095
You got fuckin' Chad here,
665
00:23:39,097 --> 00:23:40,696
you know how I feel about Chad.
666
00:23:40,698 --> 00:23:42,033
Hey, Pat, what's up, man?
667
00:23:43,201 --> 00:23:45,001
Long time, no talk!
668
00:23:45,003 --> 00:23:45,868
It's fucking freezing.
669
00:23:45,870 --> 00:23:49,105
I have no coat, I
have nothing, no.
670
00:23:49,107 --> 00:23:50,339
Thanks, but no thanks.
671
00:23:50,341 --> 00:23:51,274
Pat, this party
is for you, man.
672
00:23:51,276 --> 00:23:53,242
Just calm down, what the fuck?
673
00:23:53,244 --> 00:23:54,079
Where you goin'?
674
00:23:55,246 --> 00:23:56,746
(JINX SCOFFS)
675
00:23:56,748 --> 00:23:58,815
Guess he didn't like
the surprise, boys.
676
00:23:58,817 --> 00:24:00,118
J-man, hit me that lantern.
677
00:24:02,187 --> 00:24:03,287
Let's get the food started,
678
00:24:03,289 --> 00:24:05,389
I'm gonna have to go chase
after his ass, I guess.
679
00:24:05,391 --> 00:24:06,758
Be back in a few, boys.
680
00:24:09,195 --> 00:24:11,228
(VINNY LAUGHS)
681
00:24:11,230 --> 00:24:14,198
That Pat guy's gonna be
high maintenance, ain't he?
682
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,799
(VINNY LAUGHS)
683
00:24:16,801 --> 00:24:18,000
Oh, yeah, man.
684
00:24:18,002 --> 00:24:19,171
Some good fire.
685
00:24:24,176 --> 00:24:27,012
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
686
00:24:29,048 --> 00:24:29,881
Hey, man.
687
00:24:31,916 --> 00:24:32,750
There.
688
00:24:33,953 --> 00:24:34,786
Hey.
689
00:24:37,156 --> 00:24:39,824
Dude, I am like
your biggest fan.
690
00:24:41,693 --> 00:24:43,260
I've seen all of your movies.
691
00:24:43,262 --> 00:24:45,963
I have every last one
of them on Blu-ray.
692
00:24:45,965 --> 00:24:47,898
I've seen 'em all,
like, ten times.
693
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:49,201
Some even 20 times.
694
00:24:54,273 --> 00:24:55,107
Awesome.
695
00:24:56,275 --> 00:24:57,107
Thanks.
696
00:24:57,109 --> 00:24:57,910
Glad, glad you do.
697
00:25:00,713 --> 00:25:01,347
Do you think that
I could get like a,
698
00:25:03,282 --> 00:25:05,317
like an autograph and
a picture with you?
699
00:25:08,254 --> 00:25:09,820
Pat, Pat, wait up!
700
00:25:09,822 --> 00:25:11,889
- Just calm down, man.
- No, man.
701
00:25:11,891 --> 00:25:13,423
Pat, come on, man.
702
00:25:13,425 --> 00:25:15,826
Dude, we are four hours
away from anywhere.
703
00:25:15,828 --> 00:25:17,294
I don't care!
704
00:25:17,296 --> 00:25:19,096
And you don't have a
car here, where you goin'?
705
00:25:19,098 --> 00:25:21,832
Okay, Jinx, you came
into my house today
706
00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:25,035
and put guns, guns to my head.
707
00:25:25,037 --> 00:25:27,171
And then you got me out
here and who do I see?
708
00:25:27,173 --> 00:25:30,140
Chad and I hate that asshole.
709
00:25:30,142 --> 00:25:32,876
Okay, first of all, those
guns weren't real, man.
710
00:25:32,878 --> 00:25:36,213
They're just movie props that
we used for one of our movies.
711
00:25:36,215 --> 00:25:37,482
They're fake.
712
00:25:37,484 --> 00:25:39,816
And Chad's cool, man.
713
00:25:39,818 --> 00:25:41,486
You guys used to
be best friends.
714
00:25:41,488 --> 00:25:44,222
No, he's a raging atheist.
715
00:25:44,224 --> 00:25:45,956
You know that, right?
716
00:25:45,958 --> 00:25:47,525
Like you can't take
him around anybody
717
00:25:47,527 --> 00:25:49,494
without him trying
to convert you
718
00:25:49,496 --> 00:25:51,229
or he wants you to smoke his pot
719
00:25:51,231 --> 00:25:53,030
or take his ecstasy.
720
00:25:53,032 --> 00:25:54,932
Dude, he's not
like that anymore.
721
00:25:54,934 --> 00:25:56,234
I'm telling you,
I've been hanging out
722
00:25:56,236 --> 00:25:57,435
with him for the last year,
723
00:25:57,437 --> 00:25:59,002
he talks about these
cool restaurants
724
00:25:59,004 --> 00:26:01,272
that he eats at in
Austin and, you know,
725
00:26:01,274 --> 00:26:03,006
we have a lot in common
with independent films.
726
00:26:03,008 --> 00:26:04,075
He tells me about
all these films
727
00:26:04,077 --> 00:26:06,077
I've never heard of and
they're, they're cool, man.
728
00:26:06,079 --> 00:26:07,011
He's cool.
729
00:26:07,013 --> 00:26:08,513
Mmhmm, that's great.
730
00:26:08,515 --> 00:26:10,881
Well, he better not
start anything, okay?
731
00:26:10,883 --> 00:26:14,052
40 bucks for both.
732
00:26:14,054 --> 00:26:15,322
F-O-R-T-Y.
733
00:26:16,990 --> 00:26:19,192
I'm an actor, that's
why I get paid.
734
00:26:22,162 --> 00:26:26,364
Well, yeah, like I said
I'm your biggest fan, I,
735
00:26:26,366 --> 00:26:28,800
and I bought all your movies.
736
00:26:28,802 --> 00:26:30,235
Yeah.
737
00:26:30,237 --> 00:26:34,975
I mean, I hear all that but
that doesn't mean shit to me.
738
00:26:36,276 --> 00:26:37,377
See, I don't make a dime
739
00:26:38,478 --> 00:26:40,213
out of those things
that you buy.
740
00:26:41,481 --> 00:26:44,517
See they cook the
fucking books so bad,
741
00:26:46,253 --> 00:26:48,388
my last check was
almost a nickel.
742
00:26:50,123 --> 00:26:50,957
You know?
743
00:26:52,259 --> 00:26:54,025
Hey.
744
00:26:54,027 --> 00:26:56,229
Do you want that
autograph and pic or what?
745
00:26:57,831 --> 00:26:59,230
Oh yeah, yeah, uh.
746
00:26:59,232 --> 00:27:00,365
Yeah, hold on.
747
00:27:00,367 --> 00:27:01,332
Yeah, let me.
748
00:27:01,334 --> 00:27:04,170
I think I, I think I
got the cash somewhere.
749
00:27:05,305 --> 00:27:09,073
There's one, it's
ripped but it's still
750
00:27:09,075 --> 00:27:10,008
like it'll, yeah.
751
00:27:10,010 --> 00:27:12,110
I think it's the serial numbers.
752
00:27:12,112 --> 00:27:13,345
What you got there?
753
00:27:13,347 --> 00:27:14,613
I just, that's,
I think that's two.
754
00:27:14,615 --> 00:27:16,180
That's three, that's three!
755
00:27:16,182 --> 00:27:17,181
Here!
756
00:27:17,183 --> 00:27:18,484
Good start.
(MEN CHUCKLE)
757
00:27:18,486 --> 00:27:19,318
What else you got?
758
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:20,519
You know what?
759
00:27:20,521 --> 00:27:21,453
I'm just gonna
look in my wallet.
760
00:27:21,455 --> 00:27:23,187
I need just 20 more bucks.
761
00:27:23,189 --> 00:27:24,390
- You got 20 more?
- Yeah, I usually
762
00:27:24,392 --> 00:27:25,923
keep money in here, I think.
763
00:27:25,925 --> 00:27:27,158
Yeah, I do.
764
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:27,992
Yeah, I have some.
765
00:27:27,994 --> 00:27:29,196
Yeah, hold on, let me.
766
00:27:31,365 --> 00:27:32,164
Bingo!
767
00:27:32,166 --> 00:27:33,965
It's just 20
bucks right there.
768
00:27:33,967 --> 00:27:35,200
- Just right there.
- Just looked in the wallet.
769
00:27:35,202 --> 00:27:38,137
Alright, you got it,
thank you very much.
770
00:27:38,139 --> 00:27:41,342
- Um, I'll keep this one.
- Mmhmm.
771
00:27:43,877 --> 00:27:46,178
There you go, yeah, hold that.
772
00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:47,012
There you go.
773
00:27:47,014 --> 00:27:48,215
Alright, there you go.
774
00:27:49,583 --> 00:27:51,050
Here's your Sharpie.
775
00:27:51,052 --> 00:27:51,883
Here's your DVD.
776
00:27:51,885 --> 00:27:53,319
Yeah, Vinny, thanks.
777
00:27:53,321 --> 00:27:55,954
Um, is, uh?
778
00:27:55,956 --> 00:27:56,588
What does it?
779
00:27:56,590 --> 00:27:57,458
What does it say?
780
00:27:58,592 --> 00:27:59,859
Vinny Blades.
781
00:28:02,897 --> 00:28:05,097
Well, it just
looks like a line.
782
00:28:05,099 --> 00:28:06,131
No.
783
00:28:06,133 --> 00:28:07,399
- It's, yeah.
- Hey.
784
00:28:07,401 --> 00:28:10,069
- There's more there.
- How about that pic?
785
00:28:10,071 --> 00:28:11,303
Okay.
786
00:28:11,305 --> 00:28:13,105
Oh yeah, I gotta
switch it around.
787
00:28:13,107 --> 00:28:13,972
Okay, alright.
788
00:28:13,974 --> 00:28:14,606
Alright.
789
00:28:14,608 --> 00:28:15,441
Here we go.
790
00:28:15,443 --> 00:28:16,475
Here we go.
791
00:28:16,477 --> 00:28:17,276
Hey!
792
00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:19,880
- Good job, alright, man.
- Uh.
793
00:28:21,349 --> 00:28:24,684
- Wait, wait, Mr, Mr. Blades?
- Blades.
794
00:28:24,686 --> 00:28:26,452
Blades, um.
795
00:28:26,454 --> 00:28:28,987
Well, you walked
away right as I was
796
00:28:28,989 --> 00:28:30,255
pushing the button so it's,
797
00:28:30,257 --> 00:28:31,990
I mean, it's just
a picture of me.
798
00:28:31,992 --> 00:28:35,027
So, like, you went away
and then it flashed
799
00:28:35,029 --> 00:28:39,566
a picture and so, you see,
it's just a picture of me.
800
00:28:39,568 --> 00:28:41,068
And you're gone out of it.
801
00:28:42,203 --> 00:28:43,001
That's unfortunate.
802
00:28:43,003 --> 00:28:44,336
Yeah, um.
803
00:28:44,338 --> 00:28:45,971
So do you mind if
we take another one?
804
00:28:45,973 --> 00:28:47,339
So I can get you in there?
805
00:28:47,341 --> 00:28:48,508
Hey, not at all.
806
00:28:48,510 --> 00:28:49,343
20 more dollars.
807
00:28:50,645 --> 00:28:53,946
(CHAD LAUGHS)
808
00:28:53,948 --> 00:28:55,382
What?
809
00:28:55,384 --> 00:28:57,116
Look, I'm not into it, okay?
810
00:28:57,118 --> 00:28:58,551
It's freezing out here.
811
00:28:58,553 --> 00:29:00,052
I have no jacket.
812
00:29:00,054 --> 00:29:01,454
I mean, I still don't
feel very well either.
813
00:29:01,456 --> 00:29:02,288
You wanna know why?
814
00:29:02,290 --> 00:29:04,290
Because you chloroformed
me, remember?
815
00:29:04,292 --> 00:29:06,026
That was chloroform, right?
816
00:29:07,429 --> 00:29:09,128
To be honest, man,
I'm not really sure.
817
00:29:09,130 --> 00:29:10,196
Are you kidding me?
818
00:29:10,198 --> 00:29:12,432
But Vinny wouldn't do
anything that was dangerous
819
00:29:12,434 --> 00:29:15,168
to hurt you, he
wouldn't do that, man.
820
00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:16,269
You probably just
feel a little weird
821
00:29:16,271 --> 00:29:17,504
'cause you didn't have
822
00:29:17,506 --> 00:29:18,673
anything to eat for
breakfast, obviously.
823
00:29:20,242 --> 00:29:21,508
Let's just get some food in you
824
00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:24,043
and come back over, we
got a jacket for you.
825
00:29:24,045 --> 00:29:25,512
- Come on.
- You're a dick.
826
00:29:25,514 --> 00:29:26,348
Come on.
827
00:29:27,315 --> 00:29:30,218
(BEASTLY GROWLING)
828
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,589
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
829
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:39,526
So this spot is
actually the first spot
830
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:42,529
that they ever saw
Bigfoot in North America
831
00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:44,664
back in, like, the
1800s, I think?
832
00:29:44,666 --> 00:29:46,733
It was supposed to be
like a hoax at first,
833
00:29:46,735 --> 00:29:48,334
everybody thought it'd be a hoax
834
00:29:48,336 --> 00:29:49,235
but all these accounts
started coming in after that,
835
00:29:49,237 --> 00:29:51,571
like just one after
another and another.
836
00:29:51,573 --> 00:29:54,374
There was this one
story of a lumberjack
837
00:29:54,376 --> 00:29:57,010
who got, basically,
just like captured
838
00:29:57,012 --> 00:29:59,412
- by a whole family of Bigfoot.
- Bigfeet.
839
00:29:59,414 --> 00:30:00,647
- What?
- Bigfeet.
840
00:30:00,649 --> 00:30:03,218
Family of Bigfeet,
you said Bigfoot, but.
841
00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:05,520
It's plural, so Bigfeet.
842
00:30:07,055 --> 00:30:11,424
Like when you don't
say a bunch of mouses,
843
00:30:11,426 --> 00:30:12,492
you say a bunch of mice.
844
00:30:12,494 --> 00:30:14,060
Are you sure
that's the same thing
845
00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:16,095
with Bigfoot as it is with that?
846
00:30:16,097 --> 00:30:17,330
Yeah, it's plural, right?
847
00:30:17,332 --> 00:30:18,164
Moose, Meeses?
848
00:30:18,166 --> 00:30:20,568
Guys, alright.
849
00:30:20,570 --> 00:30:21,469
He got captured by
more than one Bigfoot.
850
00:30:21,471 --> 00:30:23,336
- Thank you.
- Okay.
851
00:30:23,338 --> 00:30:24,372
So anyways, um.
852
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,040
He said that they were actually
853
00:30:27,042 --> 00:30:28,709
peaceful creatures, you know?
854
00:30:28,711 --> 00:30:31,579
And vegetarians.
855
00:30:31,581 --> 00:30:33,683
I always thought that was funny.
856
00:30:35,150 --> 00:30:36,417
(JARRETT CHUCKLES)
857
00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:38,151
Anyways, so yeah, so
they kept him captive
858
00:30:38,153 --> 00:30:41,322
for like a week before
he managed to escape.
859
00:30:41,324 --> 00:30:42,790
I mean, you know, with
all the Bigfoot stories
860
00:30:42,792 --> 00:30:45,459
- and what not, I guess.
- Are you serious?
861
00:30:45,461 --> 00:30:46,727
What?
862
00:30:46,729 --> 00:30:47,530
I mean.
863
00:30:49,499 --> 00:30:52,201
Nobody's seriously gonna
fucking talk about this?
864
00:30:54,837 --> 00:30:56,303
Chad.
865
00:30:56,305 --> 00:30:59,507
Dude, don't start any
shit tonight, okay?
866
00:30:59,509 --> 00:31:00,808
Dude, you promised me, okay?
867
00:31:00,810 --> 00:31:03,410
Just shh, be cool, be cool.
868
00:31:03,412 --> 00:31:05,279
CHAD: I mean, do you
really believe that?
869
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:06,580
Yeah.
870
00:31:06,582 --> 00:31:07,748
Okay.
871
00:31:07,750 --> 00:31:09,183
Can't we have an intelligent
872
00:31:09,185 --> 00:31:10,384
conversation about
something else?
873
00:31:10,386 --> 00:31:13,287
No, we cannot have an intelligent
conversation tonight.
874
00:31:13,289 --> 00:31:14,788
Okay, this is just
about kicking back,
875
00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:16,824
having a good time
and shootin' the shit.
876
00:31:16,826 --> 00:31:18,392
Just having fun, okay?
877
00:31:18,394 --> 00:31:20,127
We don't have to
have talk science
878
00:31:20,129 --> 00:31:22,630
and all that bullshit, okay?
879
00:31:22,632 --> 00:31:25,099
So just, just let him talk.
880
00:31:25,101 --> 00:31:26,634
Okay?
881
00:31:26,636 --> 00:31:28,269
So, yeah, you know there's
been thousands of accounts,
882
00:31:28,271 --> 00:31:30,872
you know, over time, I mean,
the miners up in the mines.
883
00:31:30,874 --> 00:31:33,641
Uh, stories of, you know,
people just like us,
884
00:31:33,643 --> 00:31:35,676
just sittin' around
the campfire,
885
00:31:35,678 --> 00:31:36,745
hearing weird shit in the woods
886
00:31:36,747 --> 00:31:39,346
and, you know, like
rocks and sticks
887
00:31:39,348 --> 00:31:40,581
getting thrown at
their tents and stuff.
888
00:31:40,583 --> 00:31:41,448
I mean, it's just.
889
00:31:41,450 --> 00:31:44,151
CHAD: Yeah, those
people are lying.
890
00:31:44,153 --> 00:31:46,120
- Whatever, Chad.
- No, I mean, come on.
891
00:31:46,122 --> 00:31:47,689
I mean, think about it.
892
00:31:47,691 --> 00:31:50,391
Out of thousands of sightings,
893
00:31:50,393 --> 00:31:53,895
the only proof we have out
of thousands of sightings
894
00:31:53,897 --> 00:31:58,633
is some blurry
photographs and one video
895
00:31:58,635 --> 00:32:01,703
of Bigfoot, you know,
walking all retarded.
896
00:32:01,705 --> 00:32:02,539
Not retarded.
897
00:32:04,140 --> 00:32:05,542
My sister is autistic.
898
00:32:06,710 --> 00:32:09,678
Mentally handicapped, please.
899
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:10,712
Yeah, man.
900
00:32:10,714 --> 00:32:11,648
My niece, his sister.
901
00:32:12,649 --> 00:32:13,582
- What the fuck?
- Okay, yes,
902
00:32:13,584 --> 00:32:17,652
but regardless, it's one video
903
00:32:17,654 --> 00:32:21,823
of Bigfoot, you know.
(GROANING)
904
00:32:21,825 --> 00:32:24,859
I mean that shit looks so fake!
905
00:32:24,861 --> 00:32:25,794
Chad!
906
00:32:25,796 --> 00:32:28,296
I am fucking serious, man!
907
00:32:28,298 --> 00:32:30,599
Just keep your
opinions to yourself.
908
00:32:30,601 --> 00:32:32,601
Yeah, man, just let
him talk, alright?
909
00:32:32,603 --> 00:32:34,636
We're just chilling, alright?
910
00:32:34,638 --> 00:32:36,440
Having a good time, alright?
911
00:32:37,574 --> 00:32:39,407
I mean, I love Bigfoot.
912
00:32:39,409 --> 00:32:40,375
Thanks, man.
913
00:32:40,377 --> 00:32:44,114
And aliens and ghosts, I mean.
914
00:32:45,215 --> 00:32:45,947
As a matter of
fact, I got a ghost
915
00:32:45,949 --> 00:32:47,749
living in my house right now.
916
00:32:47,751 --> 00:32:49,517
Uncle does, too!
917
00:32:49,519 --> 00:32:50,585
Tell 'em about it.
918
00:32:50,587 --> 00:32:51,720
Yeah, that's right.
919
00:32:51,722 --> 00:32:53,557
I do have a ghost.
920
00:32:54,758 --> 00:32:55,890
It was about three
o'clock in the afternoon
921
00:32:55,892 --> 00:32:57,592
and I was taking a nap.
922
00:32:57,594 --> 00:32:58,593
All of a sudden the bedroom door
923
00:32:58,595 --> 00:33:00,896
- just swung right open.
- Wow.
924
00:33:00,898 --> 00:33:02,898
I thought at first
it must be the cat
925
00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:05,901
or, you know, my wife playing
a joke on me or something.
926
00:33:05,903 --> 00:33:07,837
But the wife wasn't
home and the cat
927
00:33:07,839 --> 00:33:09,404
was sleeping right next to me.
928
00:33:09,406 --> 00:33:10,973
So I thought, well,
maybe a breeze came in,
929
00:33:10,975 --> 00:33:13,876
maybe the door was open
or something or a window.
930
00:33:13,878 --> 00:33:16,678
Checked all the
windows, doors, nope.
931
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,883
There was no fucking
explanation of what it was.
932
00:33:19,984 --> 00:33:21,251
I'm tellin' you, man.
933
00:33:21,986 --> 00:33:23,385
Fuckin' ghost.
934
00:33:23,387 --> 00:33:25,286
You're lucky, man,
because my ghost
935
00:33:25,288 --> 00:33:26,590
scared the shit out of me.
936
00:33:27,792 --> 00:33:31,493
It would, like, turn on
appliances around the house,
937
00:33:31,495 --> 00:33:33,765
knock shit off the
walls, move furniture.
938
00:33:35,399 --> 00:33:38,000
As a matter of fact, I think
one time it tried to kill me.
939
00:33:38,002 --> 00:33:39,434
- I swear to God.
- What?
940
00:33:39,436 --> 00:33:40,603
Yeah.
941
00:33:40,605 --> 00:33:41,570
- I went out...
- Some heavy shit.
942
00:33:41,572 --> 00:33:44,774
No, I went outside
to go check the mail,
943
00:33:44,776 --> 00:33:47,743
I come right back the
house smells like gas.
944
00:33:47,745 --> 00:33:49,244
So sure enough, I
go to the kitchen
945
00:33:49,246 --> 00:33:52,448
and gas stove right
there and the knob
946
00:33:52,450 --> 00:33:55,551
is slightly turned
releasing gas.
947
00:33:55,553 --> 00:33:57,220
And you couldn't
have done that?
948
00:33:58,389 --> 00:33:59,588
No.
949
00:33:59,590 --> 00:34:00,656
Yeah, but you couldn't
have accidentally
950
00:34:00,658 --> 00:34:02,658
- brushed the knob?
- No.
951
00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:04,293
I was not in the kitchen.
952
00:34:04,295 --> 00:34:05,828
(BEASTLY GROWLING)
953
00:34:05,830 --> 00:34:07,296
That's not the point.
954
00:34:07,298 --> 00:34:09,799
Well, maybe you didn't
turn it off all the way
955
00:34:09,801 --> 00:34:11,567
and then you didn't
notice until it started
956
00:34:11,569 --> 00:34:12,802
filling up with gas over time...
957
00:34:12,804 --> 00:34:13,969
Dude.
958
00:34:13,971 --> 00:34:15,438
Relax.
959
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,673
Regardless, I got
rid of the ghost.
960
00:34:17,675 --> 00:34:19,375
So how'd you get rid of it?
961
00:34:19,377 --> 00:34:20,843
You wanna know
how I got rid of it?
962
00:34:20,845 --> 00:34:21,944
Well, yeah.
963
00:34:21,946 --> 00:34:24,716
(VINNY CHUCKLES)
964
00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:31,723
It's like a scene
in one of my movies.
965
00:34:35,359 --> 00:34:37,361
I looked at it right
in its ghostly eyes
966
00:34:40,865 --> 00:34:41,766
and I said,
967
00:34:43,801 --> 00:34:45,670
- get the fuck out.
- Shit!
968
00:34:47,638 --> 00:34:49,072
Awesome, awesome!
969
00:34:49,074 --> 00:34:50,006
That's cool.
970
00:34:50,008 --> 00:34:51,741
That's what I'm talking about.
971
00:34:51,743 --> 00:34:53,979
I mean, I didn't
get rid of it but
972
00:34:55,313 --> 00:34:56,880
it sure shut the
fuck up for awhile.
973
00:34:56,882 --> 00:34:59,548
- (MEN LAUGHING)
- Wow, nice.
974
00:34:59,550 --> 00:35:00,817
Yeah, man, I believe in UFOs.
975
00:35:00,819 --> 00:35:02,886
I've seen a UFO.
976
00:35:02,888 --> 00:35:05,021
Unidentified Flying Objects.
977
00:35:05,023 --> 00:35:06,757
No shit, I really saw it.
978
00:35:06,759 --> 00:35:07,991
I really did.
979
00:35:07,993 --> 00:35:08,959
Seriously.
980
00:35:08,961 --> 00:35:10,459
- Very good.
- Saw it.
981
00:35:10,461 --> 00:35:11,797
And, uh, I could tell you,
982
00:35:13,431 --> 00:35:16,800
it made me realize there's
something bigger out there.
983
00:35:16,802 --> 00:35:17,801
Okay?
984
00:35:17,803 --> 00:35:19,770
And I believe in Bigfoot.
985
00:35:19,772 --> 00:35:21,370
There you go.
986
00:35:21,372 --> 00:35:23,840
You don't seriously
believe in this shit.
987
00:35:23,842 --> 00:35:26,910
I mean use your fuckin' brains.
988
00:35:26,912 --> 00:35:28,779
Are none of you educated?
989
00:35:28,781 --> 00:35:32,516
I mean, what the fuck is
wrong with you people?
990
00:35:32,518 --> 00:35:33,850
I'm educated.
991
00:35:33,852 --> 00:35:35,452
It doesn't take a
scientist to know
992
00:35:35,454 --> 00:35:36,853
that the gravitational
pull could
993
00:35:36,855 --> 00:35:39,856
cause some crazy
mutations on our planet.
994
00:35:39,858 --> 00:35:42,526
Could explain things
like the chupacabra,
995
00:35:42,528 --> 00:35:45,428
loch ness monster,
vampires, werewolves.
996
00:35:45,430 --> 00:35:47,531
- Kim Kardashian's ass.
- Yeah!
997
00:35:47,533 --> 00:35:49,099
That's unreal.
(MEN CHUCKLING)
998
00:35:49,101 --> 00:35:50,000
Okay, you know what?
999
00:35:50,002 --> 00:35:51,935
That's it, that's it.
1000
00:35:51,937 --> 00:35:53,770
I can't take any more of this.
1001
00:35:53,772 --> 00:35:55,605
Alright, I mean you
people can't tell me
1002
00:35:55,607 --> 00:35:58,809
you actually believe what
the fuck you're saying
1003
00:35:58,811 --> 00:36:02,712
because science has
proven you wrong over,
1004
00:36:02,714 --> 00:36:03,814
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1005
00:36:03,816 --> 00:36:08,754
Because science has proven
you wrong over and over
1006
00:36:09,855 --> 00:36:11,788
and over and there's
not one ounce,
1007
00:36:11,790 --> 00:36:14,424
not one fucking shred of proof
1008
00:36:14,426 --> 00:36:17,828
that any of you have
any fucking idea
1009
00:36:17,830 --> 00:36:19,830
about what you're talking about.
1010
00:36:19,832 --> 00:36:22,632
Dude, shut the fuck up, okay?
1011
00:36:22,634 --> 00:36:23,733
Just shut the fuck up.
1012
00:36:23,735 --> 00:36:25,735
I mean if it wasn't for my ghost
1013
00:36:25,737 --> 00:36:27,404
to scare off the wrong woman,
1014
00:36:27,406 --> 00:36:29,606
I could've married
the fucking bitch
1015
00:36:29,608 --> 00:36:30,875
and that would've
been the death of me.
1016
00:36:30,877 --> 00:36:32,542
- So calm down.
- Guys!
1017
00:36:32,544 --> 00:36:33,813
That is enough, okay?
1018
00:36:35,048 --> 00:36:37,849
Now I told you, you could come
if you didn't start any shit
1019
00:36:37,851 --> 00:36:39,884
and that's all you've
been doing all night.
1020
00:36:39,886 --> 00:36:42,653
This is Pat's bachelor party.
1021
00:36:42,655 --> 00:36:43,620
You gave me your word, man.
1022
00:36:43,622 --> 00:36:46,190
And all you're doing is
pissing everybody off.
1023
00:36:46,192 --> 00:36:48,826
You're pissin' off Vinny,
you're pissin' off Pat.
1024
00:36:48,828 --> 00:36:50,928
You're pissin' off my
nephew, Jarrett, and me!
1025
00:36:50,930 --> 00:36:52,797
What the fuck is wrong with you?
1026
00:36:52,799 --> 00:36:54,532
Just sit the fuck down.
1027
00:36:54,534 --> 00:36:57,835
Just sit the fuck down,
sit the fuck down, man.
1028
00:36:57,837 --> 00:36:59,871
Jesus Christ, what's
wrong with you?
1029
00:36:59,873 --> 00:37:01,839
No, no, I'm not gonna do that
1030
00:37:01,841 --> 00:37:05,042
because I'm not gonna let you
do that to yourselves, okay?
1031
00:37:05,044 --> 00:37:06,510
Because, you know, get your
1032
00:37:06,512 --> 00:37:09,046
fuckin' head out of
the clouds, people.
1033
00:37:09,048 --> 00:37:11,883
Let me do you a
favor here, okay?
1034
00:37:11,885 --> 00:37:14,585
There is no fucking Santa Claus,
1035
00:37:14,587 --> 00:37:16,621
there's not fucking
Easter Bunny.
1036
00:37:16,623 --> 00:37:19,924
- There's no Tooth Fairy...
- Chad, I swear to God,
1037
00:37:19,926 --> 00:37:21,158
you better quit
while you're ahead
1038
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,227
because if the next
word out of your mouth
1039
00:37:23,229 --> 00:37:25,863
- is God...
- There's no God either,
1040
00:37:25,865 --> 00:37:27,999
you fuckin' Jesus freak.
1041
00:37:28,001 --> 00:37:30,202
- Ooh!
- Ooh, shit.
1042
00:37:30,204 --> 00:37:32,870
- It's about time!
- It's a great party, Jinx.
1043
00:37:32,872 --> 00:37:34,038
Man, he gave me
his word, okay?
1044
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,041
I'm sorry, I didn't know he
was gonna be a fuckin' dick.
1045
00:37:37,043 --> 00:37:39,244
It's a good thing I took 60
bucks off that motherfucker.
1046
00:37:39,246 --> 00:37:40,912
(MAN LAUGHING)
1047
00:37:40,914 --> 00:37:41,948
Alright.
1048
00:37:42,815 --> 00:37:44,049
Help me get this asshole.
1049
00:37:44,051 --> 00:37:45,716
Here.
1050
00:37:45,718 --> 00:37:48,053
You get his legs and
I'll get his upper body.
1051
00:37:48,055 --> 00:37:49,889
- Okay.
- Then we turn him over.
1052
00:37:51,925 --> 00:37:52,857
Oh shit, give me a second.
1053
00:37:52,859 --> 00:37:54,092
Oh yeah, he's real light.
1054
00:37:54,094 --> 00:37:57,528
Yeah, of course he is, cause
you've got the fuckin' legs.
1055
00:37:57,530 --> 00:37:58,663
God damn, it's heavy for me.
1056
00:37:58,665 --> 00:37:59,967
I need to workout, fuck.
1057
00:38:01,135 --> 00:38:03,801
- Freeze!
- Oh, shit!
1058
00:38:03,803 --> 00:38:06,671
What the hell are you
boys doing out here?
1059
00:38:06,673 --> 00:38:08,739
And what the hell
happened to him?
1060
00:38:08,741 --> 00:38:09,609
Uh.
1061
00:38:10,978 --> 00:38:13,577
Hi, officer, I think
everything's alright here.
1062
00:38:13,579 --> 00:38:14,748
Nothing to worry about.
1063
00:38:15,883 --> 00:38:17,950
This guy, he's just had a
little too much to drink.
1064
00:38:17,952 --> 00:38:18,951
He's a friend of ours.
1065
00:38:18,953 --> 00:38:22,888
Just, just wanted to let
him sleep it off, okay?
1066
00:38:22,890 --> 00:38:23,755
We were just about to
put him in the tent
1067
00:38:23,757 --> 00:38:26,224
and I can vouch for
his health totally,
1068
00:38:26,226 --> 00:38:28,193
I used to be a medic
in Afghanistan.
1069
00:38:28,195 --> 00:38:31,096
Yeah, well, you're in
a No Trespassing zone
1070
00:38:31,098 --> 00:38:33,865
and that's a 300 dollar
fine for each of you.
1071
00:38:33,867 --> 00:38:34,967
And that doesn't even include
1072
00:38:34,969 --> 00:38:37,569
what the sheriff will do
if he catches you out here.
1073
00:38:37,571 --> 00:38:40,605
He will lock you up in
jail until the judge
1074
00:38:40,607 --> 00:38:43,008
comes in on Monday morning.
1075
00:38:43,010 --> 00:38:46,311
Uh, ma'am, can I
just come over there
1076
00:38:46,313 --> 00:38:47,746
and talk to you for a second?
1077
00:38:47,748 --> 00:38:50,816
Vinny, can Vinny and
this guy just put
1078
00:38:50,818 --> 00:38:52,751
Chad in his tent so he can rest?
1079
00:38:52,753 --> 00:38:54,720
He needs to go in the tent.
1080
00:38:54,722 --> 00:38:58,056
Yeah, I just wanna have a
quick word with you, ma'am.
1081
00:38:58,058 --> 00:38:59,257
Okay, but don't touch me.
1082
00:38:59,259 --> 00:39:00,859
Okay, don't touch me.
1083
00:39:00,861 --> 00:39:02,127
Ma'am, I'm over here.
1084
00:39:02,129 --> 00:39:03,829
My hands are right here,
I'm not gonna touch you.
1085
00:39:03,831 --> 00:39:05,130
How's that?
1086
00:39:05,132 --> 00:39:06,064
- That work?
- Alright.
1087
00:39:06,066 --> 00:39:07,032
Don't touch her, Uncle.
1088
00:39:07,034 --> 00:39:08,600
Do you want 'em behind
my head, is that okay?
1089
00:39:08,602 --> 00:39:09,835
Don't touch me!
1090
00:39:09,837 --> 00:39:11,270
Okay, hands are
behind my head.
1091
00:39:11,272 --> 00:39:12,938
I'm coming.
1092
00:39:12,940 --> 00:39:14,140
Could you, could you maybe turn
off the light a little bit?
1093
00:39:14,142 --> 00:39:15,141
It's really bright, I can't.
1094
00:39:15,143 --> 00:39:17,009
It's blinding me, ma'am.
1095
00:39:17,011 --> 00:39:18,577
Okay, but I got a gun.
1096
00:39:18,579 --> 00:39:20,045
Yeah, I can see that gun,
1097
00:39:20,047 --> 00:39:23,118
I'm not gonna, I'm
not gonna do anything.
1098
00:39:26,121 --> 00:39:28,087
- Still got my gun.
- Thank you.
1099
00:39:28,089 --> 00:39:29,088
Yeah, hi.
1100
00:39:29,090 --> 00:39:31,124
I can see you got the gun there.
1101
00:39:31,126 --> 00:39:33,261
Would you mind lowering that?
1102
00:39:34,695 --> 00:39:36,162
Okay.
1103
00:39:36,164 --> 00:39:36,996
Thank you.
1104
00:39:36,998 --> 00:39:38,864
Can I lower my hands?
1105
00:39:38,866 --> 00:39:39,999
Slowly.
1106
00:39:40,001 --> 00:39:42,203
Alright, just wanna grab
my wallet here real quick.
1107
00:39:44,339 --> 00:39:46,172
I was thinking, we
could, you know, we could
1108
00:39:46,174 --> 00:39:49,809
- maybe work something out.
- Oh no, I don't take bribes.
1109
00:39:49,811 --> 00:39:51,179
- You sure?
- Mmhmm.
1110
00:39:52,947 --> 00:39:54,380
Maybe we could just talk then?
1111
00:39:54,382 --> 00:39:56,015
Oh, you're not talking
yourself out of this.
1112
00:39:56,017 --> 00:39:57,984
This is a No Trespassing zone.
1113
00:39:57,986 --> 00:39:59,919
Restricted Area, it
says right there.
1114
00:39:59,921 --> 00:40:00,855
Do not enter.
1115
00:40:01,823 --> 00:40:03,758
Oh, it sure as hell does.
1116
00:40:04,959 --> 00:40:09,629
You know, we came
in over there, so.
1117
00:40:09,631 --> 00:40:10,832
We didn't see that sign.
1118
00:40:12,967 --> 00:40:16,069
My buddy over there, Pat, he's,
1119
00:40:16,071 --> 00:40:18,037
he's about to make the
biggest mistake of his life
1120
00:40:18,039 --> 00:40:20,073
and he's gonna marry
the wrong woman
1121
00:40:20,075 --> 00:40:21,974
and I just thought
I'd bring him out here
1122
00:40:21,976 --> 00:40:23,142
and show him one last good time
1123
00:40:23,144 --> 00:40:25,044
before his, you
know, his funeral.
1124
00:40:25,046 --> 00:40:26,245
It's kind of a
bachelor party for him.
1125
00:40:26,247 --> 00:40:28,848
A bachelor party?
1126
00:40:28,850 --> 00:40:30,384
In the middle of the woods?
1127
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:32,819
- (WOMAN LAUGHS)
- Fuckin' Jinx.
1128
00:40:32,821 --> 00:40:34,854
You better get us out of this.
1129
00:40:34,856 --> 00:40:36,089
Don't worry about it.
1130
00:40:36,091 --> 00:40:37,156
This will be fine.
1131
00:40:37,158 --> 00:40:38,124
Pussy whipped.
1132
00:40:38,126 --> 00:40:41,229
I mean, uh, he's so whipped.
1133
00:40:43,898 --> 00:40:46,132
Well, she's kind of controlling
1134
00:40:46,134 --> 00:40:48,134
and doesn't really
let him do much
1135
00:40:48,136 --> 00:40:50,837
and the only thing
that she would allow
1136
00:40:50,839 --> 00:40:52,339
me to do for the bachelor party
1137
00:40:52,341 --> 00:40:54,774
was to, you know, bring
him out here camping.
1138
00:40:54,776 --> 00:40:56,742
Uncle will get us
out of this, okay?
1139
00:40:56,744 --> 00:40:59,146
Uncle's, Uncle knows
what he's doing.
1140
00:40:59,148 --> 00:41:01,281
Just, you know
take him out here.
1141
00:41:01,283 --> 00:41:03,049
Oh, uh.
1142
00:41:03,051 --> 00:41:05,718
You happen to know that
actor, Vinny Blades?
1143
00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,254
You know that guy that stars
1144
00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:08,955
in all those Switchblade movies?
1145
00:41:08,957 --> 00:41:10,690
They're kind of goofy but
have you ever seen 'em?
1146
00:41:10,692 --> 00:41:11,992
Vinny Blades?
1147
00:41:11,994 --> 00:41:13,260
Oh my God, he's like my
1148
00:41:13,262 --> 00:41:14,962
most favorite actor
in the whole world.
1149
00:41:14,964 --> 00:41:16,796
He's got those bedroom eyes.
1150
00:41:16,798 --> 00:41:18,065
That's the guy
I'm talking about.
1151
00:41:18,067 --> 00:41:21,101
Well, if you look
right over there.
1152
00:41:21,103 --> 00:41:23,003
- That's him.
- Oh my God!
1153
00:41:23,005 --> 00:41:25,105
Do you think I could
get his autograph?
1154
00:41:25,107 --> 00:41:26,206
I could probably arrange that
1155
00:41:26,208 --> 00:41:27,908
if you wanna work something out.
1156
00:41:27,910 --> 00:41:32,246
What I was thinking is,
you let us stay all night
1157
00:41:32,248 --> 00:41:34,281
and we'll leave in the morning.
1158
00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:36,116
First light, what do you say?
1159
00:41:36,118 --> 00:41:37,251
Well, as long as you swear
1160
00:41:37,253 --> 00:41:38,485
you'll be gone in the morning,
1161
00:41:38,487 --> 00:41:40,854
I don't see how it
would be a problem.
1162
00:41:40,856 --> 00:41:43,090
- So we got a deal?
- Deal.
1163
00:41:43,092 --> 00:41:43,924
Alright.
1164
00:41:43,926 --> 00:41:45,392
Very good.
1165
00:41:45,394 --> 00:41:47,161
Hey, uh, Vinny.
1166
00:41:47,163 --> 00:41:51,031
Could you come over here
and meet a superfan?
1167
00:41:51,033 --> 00:41:54,134
She's a superfan of
yours and, if you could,
1168
00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:55,836
bring one of those
super delicious brownies
1169
00:41:55,838 --> 00:41:57,373
that you make homemade.
1170
00:42:01,810 --> 00:42:03,746
Yeah, that is Vinny Blades.
1171
00:42:04,413 --> 00:42:05,414
Vinny Blades!
1172
00:42:07,183 --> 00:42:08,048
Oh.
1173
00:42:08,050 --> 00:42:09,417
Howdy, ma'am.
1174
00:42:09,419 --> 00:42:10,920
Always good to meet a fan.
1175
00:42:13,155 --> 00:42:14,288
(VINNY CHUCKLES)
1176
00:42:14,290 --> 00:42:15,324
Oh.
1177
00:42:17,026 --> 00:42:20,328
I got this, uh, homemade
brownie just for you.
1178
00:42:20,330 --> 00:42:25,335
Vinny, that is the extra
extra special brownie, right?
1179
00:42:26,001 --> 00:42:27,000
Yeah.
1180
00:42:27,002 --> 00:42:28,869
Hey, it's not my first rodeo.
1181
00:42:28,871 --> 00:42:30,103
This is one tasty brownie.
1182
00:42:30,105 --> 00:42:32,207
This is one of the
best I've ever eaten.
1183
00:42:32,209 --> 00:42:33,210
VINNY: Mm, mmhmm.
1184
00:42:35,245 --> 00:42:38,179
Uh, listen, Vinny,
I was kinda thinking
1185
00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:40,881
that maybe you
could, uh, you know
1186
00:42:40,883 --> 00:42:44,252
take a couple pics with her
and give her an autograph.
1187
00:42:44,254 --> 00:42:45,288
What do you say?
1188
00:42:49,526 --> 00:42:50,358
Aw, come on, man.
1189
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:53,328
You know, it's for me.
1190
00:42:53,330 --> 00:42:54,562
You know.
1191
00:42:54,564 --> 00:42:55,365
Special favor.
1192
00:42:56,266 --> 00:42:58,066
I owe you one, okay?
1193
00:42:58,068 --> 00:42:58,967
Why not?
1194
00:42:58,969 --> 00:42:59,934
Hmm?
1195
00:42:59,936 --> 00:43:00,937
Would you sign my chest?
1196
00:43:02,372 --> 00:43:05,375
It is my specialty.
(LAUGHING)
1197
00:43:06,910 --> 00:43:07,743
Alright.
1198
00:43:09,546 --> 00:43:11,381
Fucking fans of his.
1199
00:43:13,850 --> 00:43:15,185
VINNY: Vinny.
1200
00:43:16,586 --> 00:43:17,420
Blades.
1201
00:43:19,256 --> 00:43:20,855
Oh, when I get
off in the morning,
1202
00:43:20,857 --> 00:43:24,292
I am so getting this permanently
tattooed on my breasts.
1203
00:43:24,294 --> 00:43:25,159
We're in the
same fuckin' movie,
1204
00:43:25,161 --> 00:43:26,594
I don't get to sign
no fuckin' titties.
1205
00:43:26,596 --> 00:43:27,962
Hell yeah.
1206
00:43:27,964 --> 00:43:29,430
That's what I'm talking about.
1207
00:43:29,432 --> 00:43:31,034
A true fan.
1208
00:43:32,202 --> 00:43:33,503
JINX: Of course, of course.
1209
00:43:35,372 --> 00:43:37,438
Hey, why don't you come by
the fire over there with us?
1210
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:38,875
It's nice and toasty.
1211
00:43:42,946 --> 00:43:45,313
What a fuckin' douchebag.
1212
00:43:45,315 --> 00:43:46,816
Jesus Christ.
1213
00:43:50,621 --> 00:43:52,355
Do you got anything to drink?
1214
00:43:53,323 --> 00:43:54,525
Got this awesome sauce.
1215
00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:56,924
No.
1216
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:58,126
Caroline doesn't let me,
1217
00:43:58,128 --> 00:43:59,428
like it when I drink.
1218
00:43:59,430 --> 00:44:00,462
Hey.
1219
00:44:00,464 --> 00:44:01,399
How's that brownie?
1220
00:44:03,033 --> 00:44:04,165
Timmy.
1221
00:44:04,167 --> 00:44:05,334
It's great brownie.
1222
00:44:05,336 --> 00:44:07,137
- Vinny.
- Right.
1223
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:09,271
Dude.
1224
00:44:09,273 --> 00:44:11,340
- Just have a beer, bro.
- Yeah.
1225
00:44:11,342 --> 00:44:13,043
- Thanks, man.
- Nice catch.
1226
00:44:15,045 --> 00:44:19,949
(CAN HISSES)
(PAT GIGGLES)
1227
00:44:21,352 --> 00:44:23,552
Would you like a beer to
wash down that tasty brownie?
1228
00:44:23,554 --> 00:44:25,056
No, I'm on duty.
1229
00:44:26,624 --> 00:44:29,124
Have you ever seen a Bigfoot?
1230
00:44:29,126 --> 00:44:30,561
Or like a family of Bigfeet?
1231
00:44:31,529 --> 00:44:33,462
No, it's Bigfoot.
1232
00:44:33,464 --> 00:44:34,630
Bigfoot.
1233
00:44:34,632 --> 00:44:36,932
And, bro, she can't
tell you that.
1234
00:44:36,934 --> 00:44:38,367
It's top secret.
1235
00:44:38,369 --> 00:44:40,002
It's not top secret.
1236
00:44:40,004 --> 00:44:41,270
Then why are there all
these signs around here
1237
00:44:41,272 --> 00:44:43,138
that say Restricted
Area: Do Not Enter?
1238
00:44:43,140 --> 00:44:45,174
Because all these
redneck hunters
1239
00:44:45,176 --> 00:44:46,575
are coming around here
trying to kill Bigfoot
1240
00:44:46,577 --> 00:44:48,210
for a million dollars
and they're putting
1241
00:44:48,212 --> 00:44:50,012
bear traps out and
hurting people.
1242
00:44:50,014 --> 00:44:51,213
Really?
1243
00:44:51,215 --> 00:44:53,282
There's fuckin'
bear traps out here?
1244
00:44:53,284 --> 00:44:54,118
Great.
1245
00:44:55,186 --> 00:44:56,387
What the fuck is that?
1246
00:44:58,489 --> 00:45:00,222
What is that?
1247
00:45:00,224 --> 00:45:01,290
(ANIMAL CAWING IN THE DISTANCE)
1248
00:45:01,292 --> 00:45:04,495
Sounds like fuckin'
chimp sounds or something.
1249
00:45:05,429 --> 00:45:07,630
You don't have monkeys
out here, do you?
1250
00:45:07,632 --> 00:45:08,497
No.
1251
00:45:08,499 --> 00:45:09,533
No monkeys.
1252
00:45:11,268 --> 00:45:12,203
Shh, shh.
1253
00:45:13,337 --> 00:45:14,671
Shh.
1254
00:45:14,673 --> 00:45:16,305
(ANIMAL HOWLING IN THE DISTANCE)
1255
00:45:16,307 --> 00:45:17,940
Wolves.
1256
00:45:17,942 --> 00:45:18,577
It's wolves.
1257
00:45:20,444 --> 00:45:22,044
Werewolves.
1258
00:45:22,046 --> 00:45:24,246
No, no werewolves, no Bigfoot,
1259
00:45:24,248 --> 00:45:26,382
it's probably just
a couple of coyotes.
1260
00:45:26,384 --> 00:45:28,117
It's cay-oats.
1261
00:45:28,119 --> 00:45:31,621
It's cay-oats not coyotes,
it's cay-oat country.
1262
00:45:31,623 --> 00:45:32,689
(PAT SNICKERS)
1263
00:45:32,691 --> 00:45:33,625
Cay-oat country.
1264
00:45:36,561 --> 00:45:39,096
Whatever the fuck it
is, it's getting closer.
1265
00:45:40,632 --> 00:45:42,097
Yeah.
1266
00:45:42,099 --> 00:45:43,033
He's right.
1267
00:45:45,470 --> 00:45:46,904
It's right there.
1268
00:45:50,975 --> 00:45:52,977
What the fuck is that?
1269
00:45:55,447 --> 00:45:56,548
Who's out there?
1270
00:45:57,716 --> 00:46:01,219
You better show yourself cause
I'm a badass park ranger.
1271
00:46:02,554 --> 00:46:04,489
- She's a badass.
- Shh!
1272
00:46:05,424 --> 00:46:07,257
What is that?
1273
00:46:07,259 --> 00:46:08,558
What the fuck is that light?
1274
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,261
It's fuckin' glowing
in the dark, man.
1275
00:46:11,263 --> 00:46:12,562
It might be one of
those fuckin' aliens,
1276
00:46:12,564 --> 00:46:14,232
y'all were talking
about earlier.
1277
00:46:15,367 --> 00:46:16,268
Switchblade your ass.
1278
00:46:19,004 --> 00:46:21,206
Fucking put a curse
on this fucking thing.
1279
00:46:22,374 --> 00:46:24,374
Whatever it is,
it's getting closer.
1280
00:46:24,376 --> 00:46:26,409
Alright, boys, get ready.
1281
00:46:26,411 --> 00:46:28,578
Or we'll fuck your alien ass up!
1282
00:46:28,580 --> 00:46:29,712
She's got the gun.
1283
00:46:29,714 --> 00:46:31,147
She goes first.
1284
00:46:31,149 --> 00:46:31,748
You, you shoot that
son of a bitch, alright?
1285
00:46:31,750 --> 00:46:34,083
Mmhmm, mmhmm, mmhmm.
1286
00:46:34,085 --> 00:46:35,018
Whoo!
1287
00:46:35,020 --> 00:46:36,085
I got you, boys!
1288
00:46:36,087 --> 00:46:36,719
(JINX LAUGHING)
1289
00:46:36,721 --> 00:46:37,620
It was the strippers.
1290
00:46:37,622 --> 00:46:39,522
- Oh.
- Oh my God.
1291
00:46:39,524 --> 00:46:41,124
Yeah, whoo!
1292
00:46:41,126 --> 00:46:42,559
The strippers.
1293
00:46:42,561 --> 00:46:44,527
- Fucking party time!
- You have strippers?
1294
00:46:44,529 --> 00:46:46,630
Yes, time to get
this party started.
1295
00:46:46,632 --> 00:46:49,600
No, you told me this was
just a party in the woods.
1296
00:46:49,602 --> 00:46:52,770
I said bachelor party for
my pussy whipped friend.
1297
00:46:52,772 --> 00:46:54,370
Remember?
1298
00:46:54,372 --> 00:46:55,305
It wouldn't be a bachelor
party if we didn't
1299
00:46:55,307 --> 00:46:57,073
have some strippers, right?
1300
00:46:57,075 --> 00:46:58,475
I'm gonna get in
so much trouble.
1301
00:46:58,477 --> 00:47:00,143
You're not gonna
get in any trouble.
1302
00:47:00,145 --> 00:47:01,679
Just hang out with us.
1303
00:47:01,681 --> 00:47:03,581
Eat another brownie, you know?
1304
00:47:03,583 --> 00:47:04,682
Vinny's got some more
of those brownies
1305
00:47:04,684 --> 00:47:06,517
- and you love that brownie.
- I like those brownies.
1306
00:47:06,519 --> 00:47:08,251
- Right.
- Okay, okay.
1307
00:47:08,253 --> 00:47:10,488
But everything has to be
cleaned out by the morning.
1308
00:47:10,490 --> 00:47:11,555
Everything.
1309
00:47:11,557 --> 00:47:13,089
- Hey.
- You got me?
1310
00:47:13,091 --> 00:47:14,324
Scout's honor.
1311
00:47:14,326 --> 00:47:15,526
Whatever that shit is, right?
1312
00:47:15,528 --> 00:47:17,461
- We give our word, right?
- Alright.
1313
00:47:17,463 --> 00:47:18,395
Promise.
1314
00:47:18,397 --> 00:47:20,129
We will be off first light.
1315
00:47:20,131 --> 00:47:22,633
Alright, so, let's get
the party started, right?
1316
00:47:22,635 --> 00:47:24,301
You girls, ready?
1317
00:47:24,303 --> 00:47:25,136
Not yet.
1318
00:47:26,405 --> 00:47:27,638
What do you mean?
1319
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:29,342
BAMBI: You have
to pay our boss.
1320
00:47:30,476 --> 00:47:31,809
You brought your
boss out here?
1321
00:47:31,811 --> 00:47:34,578
Why would, why would you
bring your boss out here?
1322
00:47:34,580 --> 00:47:37,080
To make sure you guys
don't get too out of hand.
1323
00:47:37,082 --> 00:47:39,118
To make sure you
pay before you play.
1324
00:47:40,853 --> 00:47:42,620
Okay.
1325
00:47:42,622 --> 00:47:44,622
Well, where is your boss?
1326
00:47:44,624 --> 00:47:45,458
Back there.
1327
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:48,561
Alright.
1328
00:47:49,562 --> 00:47:50,696
I'll go pay your boss.
1329
00:47:52,698 --> 00:47:55,866
- Take care of him.
- So who's ready
1330
00:47:55,868 --> 00:47:57,601
- for a good time?
- Well, hell yeah!
1331
00:47:57,603 --> 00:47:58,536
Let's do it, man.
1332
00:47:58,538 --> 00:48:00,371
Who's ready for a good time?
1333
00:48:00,373 --> 00:48:03,173
Whoo!
(MAN LAUGHING)
1334
00:48:03,175 --> 00:48:04,176
What's up, my man?
1335
00:48:05,478 --> 00:48:07,480
My friends call me
Jinx, what's your name?
1336
00:48:08,514 --> 00:48:09,348
Brick.
1337
00:48:11,517 --> 00:48:14,487
Brick, is that cause you're
built like a shit brickhouse?
1338
00:48:16,489 --> 00:48:17,323
Okay.
1339
00:48:19,726 --> 00:48:21,325
Right.
(CLEARS THROAT)
1340
00:48:21,327 --> 00:48:23,327
So is everything,
everything's good?
1341
00:48:23,329 --> 00:48:24,663
We're good, we're good to go?
1342
00:48:24,665 --> 00:48:25,732
You got the cash?
1343
00:48:27,166 --> 00:48:29,701
Uh, yeah, yeah,
I got the cash.
1344
00:48:29,703 --> 00:48:30,568
600 bucks, right?
1345
00:48:30,570 --> 00:48:31,605
For two hours?
1346
00:48:33,506 --> 00:48:35,874
I got, uh, a few, some
20s and fives in there,
1347
00:48:35,876 --> 00:48:37,341
is that alright?
1348
00:48:37,343 --> 00:48:40,146
But, man, I assure you,
all 600 bucks is there.
1349
00:48:40,847 --> 00:48:42,482
You can count it if you like.
1350
00:48:44,451 --> 00:48:47,485
Same rules apply out here
as they do at the club.
1351
00:48:47,487 --> 00:48:50,256
Girls are topless
only, no touching.
1352
00:48:51,925 --> 00:48:53,658
So.
1353
00:48:53,660 --> 00:48:55,127
When you say no touching,
1354
00:48:56,730 --> 00:48:58,463
that just means that we
can't touch the girls
1355
00:48:58,465 --> 00:49:01,766
but, I mean, the girls can
touch us if they want to, right?
1356
00:49:01,768 --> 00:49:04,502
If they really want to, yes.
1357
00:49:04,504 --> 00:49:06,471
But that ain't
fittin' to happen.
1358
00:49:06,473 --> 00:49:08,707
And don't be forcing
yourself on 'em either
1359
00:49:08,709 --> 00:49:10,811
or you gonna have a
major fuckin' problem.
1360
00:49:12,913 --> 00:49:14,412
Well, we don't any major
1361
00:49:14,414 --> 00:49:16,681
fuckin' problems
with you, alright?
1362
00:49:16,683 --> 00:49:19,718
We're just a cool group
of guys over there.
1363
00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:21,853
Everything's gonna be
cool, I promise you.
1364
00:49:21,855 --> 00:49:22,787
It's all good.
1365
00:49:22,789 --> 00:49:23,624
No problems.
1366
00:49:25,258 --> 00:49:27,292
Look, I'll be chillin'
over here from a distance
1367
00:49:27,294 --> 00:49:29,427
but I could still see what's up.
1368
00:49:29,429 --> 00:49:32,330
Don't make me go over there.
1369
00:49:32,332 --> 00:49:33,531
Okay, bro.
1370
00:49:33,533 --> 00:49:34,334
We're good!
1371
00:49:36,670 --> 00:49:39,437
You got an hour
and 55 minutes left.
1372
00:49:39,439 --> 00:49:41,706
Bring 'em back to this
spot and don't be late.
1373
00:49:41,708 --> 00:49:45,945
If you do, I'ma charge
you another 600 dollars.
1374
00:49:45,947 --> 00:49:48,446
Alright, well, we
will not be late.
1375
00:49:48,448 --> 00:49:49,681
- I will see you then.
- Hey, Jinx.
1376
00:49:49,683 --> 00:49:52,250
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- Jinx, man, hey.
1377
00:49:52,252 --> 00:49:53,652
Fuck, you're big!
1378
00:49:53,654 --> 00:49:56,554
So I don't know if
you remember this,
1379
00:49:56,556 --> 00:49:59,792
but you made a promise
to Caroline and me
1380
00:49:59,794 --> 00:50:02,594
that there'd be no strippers.
1381
00:50:02,596 --> 00:50:03,563
There's two of 'em.
1382
00:50:04,464 --> 00:50:05,665
Yeah, that's right.
1383
00:50:05,667 --> 00:50:07,298
You know why I
made that promise?
1384
00:50:07,300 --> 00:50:09,669
Cause you wanted to bitch out
and leave earlier, remember?
1385
00:50:09,671 --> 00:50:11,469
And if I told
Caroline the truth,
1386
00:50:11,471 --> 00:50:12,537
you wouldn't be here right now.
1387
00:50:12,539 --> 00:50:15,208
And also the bachelor
party's not for you, bro.
1388
00:50:16,010 --> 00:50:17,943
They're for guys like me.
1389
00:50:17,945 --> 00:50:21,346
Miserable bastards who hate
fucking being married, okay?
1390
00:50:21,348 --> 00:50:22,815
And single dudes.
1391
00:50:22,817 --> 00:50:24,717
So we're gonna go have
a good fuckin' time
1392
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,019
and if you don't wanna
have fun, man, that's okay.
1393
00:50:27,021 --> 00:50:28,688
You can just sit
back and watch, okay?
1394
00:50:28,690 --> 00:50:29,755
PAT: What's that
supposed to mean?
1395
00:50:29,757 --> 00:50:30,956
Dude, I'm telling you.
1396
00:50:30,958 --> 00:50:32,825
Once you fuckin' put
that ring on that finger
1397
00:50:32,827 --> 00:50:34,026
your whole life's gonna change.
1398
00:50:34,028 --> 00:50:35,961
All those good times
you're having right now,
1399
00:50:35,963 --> 00:50:37,430
you can kiss that shit goodbye.
1400
00:50:37,432 --> 00:50:38,397
You're gonna sit
here and tell me,
1401
00:50:38,399 --> 00:50:40,866
oh, I'm so in love with Caroline
1402
00:50:40,868 --> 00:50:43,369
and I can't cheat,
looking at titties
1403
00:50:43,371 --> 00:50:45,538
and strippers is
cheating on her.
1404
00:50:45,540 --> 00:50:46,839
(PAT SCOFFS)
1405
00:50:46,841 --> 00:50:48,574
You know what I don't
understand about you, Jinx?
1406
00:50:48,576 --> 00:50:50,710
Is why you always gotta
be so fuckin' negative?
1407
00:50:50,712 --> 00:50:52,445
- Yeah, why you...
- Look, Caroline and I,
1408
00:50:52,447 --> 00:50:53,946
we love each other,
you've seen us together.
1409
00:50:53,948 --> 00:50:57,316
We never argue and we
have plenty of sex.
1410
00:50:57,318 --> 00:50:58,818
Yeah.
1411
00:50:58,820 --> 00:50:59,785
JINX: The good
times are over, bro.
1412
00:50:59,787 --> 00:51:01,454
PAT: What the fuck
are you talking about?
1413
00:51:01,456 --> 00:51:03,956
I'm talkin' about
all that wild sex
1414
00:51:03,958 --> 00:51:05,391
you're talkin'
about you have now
1415
00:51:05,393 --> 00:51:07,560
and you're soulmates
and she sucks your cock
1416
00:51:07,562 --> 00:51:09,428
and swallows and
all that, right?
1417
00:51:09,430 --> 00:51:10,863
- Uh huh.
- Uh huh.
1418
00:51:10,865 --> 00:51:13,532
Put the ring on her finger
and then talk to me.
1419
00:51:13,534 --> 00:51:15,901
You're gonna be watching
that reality TV bullshit,
1420
00:51:15,903 --> 00:51:18,471
- Housewives, fuckin'...
- Oh, we love that show.
1421
00:51:18,473 --> 00:51:19,305
Of course, see?
1422
00:51:19,307 --> 00:51:20,040
It's already started.
1423
00:51:20,042 --> 00:51:21,674
How 'bout Vanderpump Rules, man?
1424
00:51:21,676 --> 00:51:24,643
You know Vanderpump,
Vanderpump Rules, huh?
1425
00:51:24,645 --> 00:51:26,847
Yeah, that's fucking
crazy, too, man.
1426
00:51:26,849 --> 00:51:28,748
My life is fuckin' miserable!
1427
00:51:28,750 --> 00:51:30,884
It fucking sucks!
1428
00:51:30,886 --> 00:51:32,318
Okay?
1429
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,087
I just wanna see
some new titties.
1430
00:51:34,089 --> 00:51:35,789
I just want 'em to,
like, poke their nipples
1431
00:51:35,791 --> 00:51:37,690
around my face and
they might do it
1432
00:51:37,692 --> 00:51:38,825
around my mouth cause
I remember that once.
1433
00:51:38,827 --> 00:51:40,493
They kinda, mm, you know?
1434
00:51:40,495 --> 00:51:41,862
Maybe something
like that'll happen.
1435
00:51:41,864 --> 00:51:42,696
Look, I'm just gonna.
1436
00:51:42,698 --> 00:51:43,864
Alright, let me
just say this, okay?
1437
00:51:43,866 --> 00:51:45,331
It's just not a good idea, man.
1438
00:51:45,333 --> 00:51:46,833
It's really not and I'm
gonna go on the record
1439
00:51:46,835 --> 00:51:48,935
and I'm gonna say, this
isn't gonna end well.
1440
00:51:48,937 --> 00:51:49,736
It's not.
1441
00:51:49,738 --> 00:51:50,704
I'm tellin' you.
1442
00:51:50,706 --> 00:51:52,038
PAT: It's gonna be just fine
1443
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:53,940
because you're gonna keep
your fuckin' mouth shut
1444
00:51:53,942 --> 00:51:55,508
and have a good time.
1445
00:51:55,510 --> 00:51:58,377
Okay, both of y'all sound
like two bitches right now.
1446
00:51:58,379 --> 00:52:00,046
This one's pussy whipped.
1447
00:52:00,048 --> 00:52:01,581
I'm not pussy whipped!
1448
00:52:01,583 --> 00:52:02,783
Why does everybody
keep saying that to me?
1449
00:52:02,785 --> 00:52:03,917
Because you're fucking
pussy whipped, man.
1450
00:52:03,919 --> 00:52:05,417
Even he, he doesn't
even fucking know you
1451
00:52:05,419 --> 00:52:06,653
and he knows you're
pussy whipped.
1452
00:52:06,655 --> 00:52:07,788
You're pussy whipped.
1453
00:52:07,790 --> 00:52:09,388
- Okay, here's the deal.
- Listen, dude.
1454
00:52:09,390 --> 00:52:10,824
Hey, hey, hey,
that's enough, okay?
1455
00:52:10,826 --> 00:52:11,992
He said we had an
hour and 50 minutes,
1456
00:52:11,994 --> 00:52:12,826
we've already spent what?
1457
00:52:12,828 --> 00:52:14,494
Five, what time is it?
1458
00:52:14,496 --> 00:52:15,796
Oh yeah, you got an
hour and 40 minutes left.
1459
00:52:15,798 --> 00:52:17,063
Alright, that's
it, we're going.
1460
00:52:17,065 --> 00:52:18,431
Go back to the fuckin' camp,
1461
00:52:18,433 --> 00:52:19,699
- we're going.
- Just don't let.
1462
00:52:19,701 --> 00:52:20,500
Hey, I don't want
'em dancin' on me.
1463
00:52:20,502 --> 00:52:21,735
Brick, we're goin'.
1464
00:52:21,737 --> 00:52:22,504
Brick, don't let
'em dance on me.
1465
00:52:23,872 --> 00:52:26,842
So where is the lucky
bachelor for the night tonight?
1466
00:52:28,377 --> 00:52:30,644
Okay, so, who's up first?
1467
00:52:30,646 --> 00:52:33,580
Well, he should be first
cause he's the bachelor
1468
00:52:33,582 --> 00:52:35,816
but he's pussy whipped
1469
00:52:35,818 --> 00:52:37,851
and his woman doesn't
want him to have any fun
1470
00:52:37,853 --> 00:52:39,853
at his bachelor party cause
he's not allowed to have one.
1471
00:52:39,855 --> 00:52:41,421
So.
1472
00:52:41,423 --> 00:52:43,157
I'm goin' first.
1473
00:52:43,159 --> 00:52:45,159
Hey, why can't I go first?
1474
00:52:45,161 --> 00:52:46,593
You're not goin', man.
1475
00:52:46,595 --> 00:52:47,861
You wouldn't even
know what to do.
1476
00:52:47,863 --> 00:52:49,696
Just chill out.
1477
00:52:49,698 --> 00:52:51,498
Watch and learn.
1478
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:53,900
Let your uncle show you
how it's done, okay?
1479
00:52:53,902 --> 00:52:55,637
No, I'm goin' first.
1480
00:52:56,839 --> 00:52:58,139
What?
1481
00:52:58,141 --> 00:52:59,739
You wanna go first?
1482
00:52:59,741 --> 00:53:00,540
(JINX SCOFFS)
1483
00:53:00,542 --> 00:53:01,708
You hear that boys?
1484
00:53:01,710 --> 00:53:02,977
Tell you what,
1485
00:53:02,979 --> 00:53:05,982
you dance on her and
you can dance on me.
1486
00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:10,686
Bring it in.
1487
00:53:13,655 --> 00:53:15,859
(ROCK MUSIC)
1488
00:53:34,143 --> 00:53:35,676
♪ My mind is racin'
1489
00:53:35,678 --> 00:53:37,178
♪ And I came to fight
1490
00:53:37,180 --> 00:53:38,579
♪ The faster I go
1491
00:53:38,581 --> 00:53:41,048
♪ I'm running behind
1492
00:53:41,050 --> 00:53:42,483
♪ My tank is empty
1493
00:53:42,485 --> 00:53:43,918
♪ And so is my soul
1494
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,086
♪ I was lookin' for love
1495
00:53:45,088 --> 00:53:47,488
♪ Now I'm losing control
1496
00:53:47,490 --> 00:53:50,591
♪ I'm down, down, down
1497
00:53:50,593 --> 00:53:53,928
♪ I'm down, down, down
1498
00:53:53,930 --> 00:53:57,098
♪ We're all down, down, down
1499
00:53:57,100 --> 00:54:00,570
♪ All alone without you
1500
00:54:27,497 --> 00:54:29,797
(CHAD CHUCKLES)
1501
00:54:29,799 --> 00:54:30,633
Oh, yes.
1502
00:54:32,036 --> 00:54:33,168
Oh.
1503
00:54:33,170 --> 00:54:37,973
Oh, motherfucker, I'm putting
this shit on the internet
1504
00:54:37,975 --> 00:54:40,843
and then we'll see who's getting
married now, motherfucker.
1505
00:54:42,212 --> 00:54:44,812
That's right, I'm
getting the last laugh.
1506
00:54:44,814 --> 00:54:46,081
Oh, yeah.
1507
00:54:46,083 --> 00:54:47,084
Grind it up.
1508
00:54:48,018 --> 00:54:48,852
That's it.
1509
00:54:49,954 --> 00:54:53,958
Fuck every branch on the
way down the breakup tree.
1510
00:54:54,992 --> 00:54:56,524
Fuckin' hate spiders.
1511
00:54:56,526 --> 00:54:57,161
The fuck?
1512
00:54:58,762 --> 00:54:59,897
Got, shit.
1513
00:55:01,564 --> 00:55:03,131
(BRICK SIGHS)
Oh, damn.
1514
00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:04,933
Hey!
1515
00:55:04,935 --> 00:55:06,670
Keep your hands to yourself!
1516
00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:08,906
Shit.
1517
00:55:10,074 --> 00:55:11,974
Damn, I swear they
act like they ain't
1518
00:55:11,976 --> 00:55:13,243
never seen no pussy before.
1519
00:55:14,611 --> 00:55:16,812
Look at that, it don't
make no damn sense.
1520
00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:20,015
I swear on my life,
what the fuck?
1521
00:55:20,017 --> 00:55:22,084
(BEAST GROWLING)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
1522
00:55:22,086 --> 00:55:27,091
(DANCE MUSIC)
(WOMEN CHEERING)
1523
00:55:29,994 --> 00:55:32,127
Okay, she's like
getting loose.
1524
00:55:32,129 --> 00:55:33,161
Get it!
1525
00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:34,863
I wish that was me.
1526
00:55:34,865 --> 00:55:36,198
Yes, look at her go.
1527
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:38,334
- (CAROLINE LAUGHS)
- Oh my God.
1528
00:55:38,336 --> 00:55:40,769
- Oh my God.
- Yeah, I cannot believe
1529
00:55:40,771 --> 00:55:42,170
she just put her hand there.
1530
00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:45,674
(WOMAN LAUGHING)
1531
00:55:45,676 --> 00:55:46,908
Knock, knock.
1532
00:55:46,910 --> 00:55:48,210
Are you ready for my cock?
1533
00:55:48,212 --> 00:55:49,845
- (CAROLINE LAUGHS)
- Yeah!
1534
00:55:49,847 --> 00:55:50,748
Yeah, I am.
1535
00:55:52,016 --> 00:55:53,182
Oh my God, I can't believe
1536
00:55:53,184 --> 00:55:55,617
she's getting
married in one week.
1537
00:55:55,619 --> 00:55:57,119
Me either.
1538
00:55:57,121 --> 00:55:57,986
I don't know how she's gonna
give up girls' night out.
1539
00:55:57,988 --> 00:56:00,055
I don't think
she will, I mean,
1540
00:56:00,057 --> 00:56:01,857
seriously I don't think
she's gonna give it up
1541
00:56:01,859 --> 00:56:03,359
just because she's
getting married.
1542
00:56:03,361 --> 00:56:05,328
Oh my God, y'all,
look at Caroline's page.
1543
00:56:05,330 --> 00:56:07,029
What is it?
1544
00:56:07,031 --> 00:56:08,131
It's Pat dancing with two
naked chicks in the woods.
1545
00:56:08,133 --> 00:56:10,832
WOMAN: Oh shit, she's
gonna freak the fuck out!
1546
00:56:10,834 --> 00:56:13,169
I know, she doesn't
even allow him to drink.
1547
00:56:13,171 --> 00:56:14,370
WOMAN: Should we tell her?
1548
00:56:14,372 --> 00:56:16,072
No, no, no, no.
1549
00:56:16,074 --> 00:56:18,542
She'll flip the fuck out
and ruin the night, don't.
1550
00:56:21,079 --> 00:56:24,149
Ten thousand views
in five minutes?
1551
00:56:26,784 --> 00:56:29,285
(CAROLINE YELLS)
1552
00:56:29,287 --> 00:56:31,154
Caroline, where are you going?
1553
00:56:31,156 --> 00:56:33,089
Watch where the
fuck you're goin'.
1554
00:56:33,091 --> 00:56:35,724
Fuck you, you don't
wanna fuck with me tonight.
1555
00:56:35,726 --> 00:56:36,893
- Break it up, break it up.
- Really?
1556
00:56:36,895 --> 00:56:38,261
You better take your ass off.
1557
00:56:38,263 --> 00:56:40,331
Yeah, good idea,
you fucking cunt.
1558
00:56:44,969 --> 00:56:46,135
- Should we go get her?
- No, no, no, leave it.
1559
00:56:46,137 --> 00:56:47,403
Leave it.
1560
00:56:47,405 --> 00:56:51,176
(WOMEN YELLING AND CHEERING)
1561
00:56:56,081 --> 00:56:58,414
WOMAN: Get it, get it!
1562
00:56:58,416 --> 00:57:00,249
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
1563
00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:01,953
Have a great night!
1564
00:57:15,867 --> 00:57:18,970
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC)
1565
00:57:27,812 --> 00:57:30,847
♪ Power begets power
1566
00:57:30,849 --> 00:57:34,251
♪ Dead roses in my hand
1567
00:57:34,253 --> 00:57:37,787
♪ Spirit blurred
and stuttering ♪
1568
00:57:37,789 --> 00:57:41,291
♪ The antichrist of pain
1569
00:57:41,293 --> 00:57:44,394
♪ Burnt shadows on my eyes
1570
00:57:44,396 --> 00:57:47,730
♪ The late damage of you
1571
00:57:47,732 --> 00:57:51,834
♪ Confused, contrived to
what's inside my head ♪
1572
00:57:51,836 --> 00:57:55,005
♪ My prison head
1573
00:57:55,007 --> 00:57:56,273
♪ Are you awake
1574
00:57:56,275 --> 00:57:58,008
♪ Are you aware
1575
00:57:58,010 --> 00:58:00,010
♪ Life
1576
00:58:00,012 --> 00:58:01,811
♪ Dead life
1577
00:58:01,813 --> 00:58:03,247
♪ Dead life
1578
00:58:03,249 --> 00:58:04,780
♪ Dead life
1579
00:58:04,782 --> 00:58:06,850
♪ Life
1580
00:58:06,852 --> 00:58:08,352
♪ Dead life
1581
00:58:08,354 --> 00:58:10,287
♪ Dead life
1582
00:58:10,289 --> 00:58:12,424
♪ Dead life
1583
00:58:18,964 --> 00:58:22,301
(WHIPPED CREAM HISSING)
1584
00:58:25,204 --> 00:58:27,237
♪ Life
1585
00:58:27,239 --> 00:58:29,173
♪ Dead life
1586
00:58:29,175 --> 00:58:30,874
♪ Dead life
1587
00:58:30,876 --> 00:58:32,309
♪ Dead life
1588
00:58:32,311 --> 00:58:33,277
♪ Life
1589
00:58:33,279 --> 00:58:35,848
(MEN CHEERING)
1590
00:58:38,250 --> 00:58:39,084
Yeah!
1591
00:58:42,454 --> 00:58:43,987
Yeah!
1592
00:58:43,989 --> 00:58:45,222
Quiet!
1593
00:58:45,224 --> 00:58:46,356
Shut up!
1594
00:58:46,358 --> 00:58:47,525
Quiet!
1595
00:58:47,527 --> 00:58:48,526
Everybody, cool, cool.
1596
00:58:48,528 --> 00:58:49,993
- What's up?
- Shh.
1597
00:58:49,995 --> 00:58:51,795
DISPATCHER: Officer
Bates, where are you?
1598
00:58:51,797 --> 00:58:53,197
Officer Bates.
1599
00:58:53,199 --> 00:58:54,532
DISPATCHER: How's everything
going at Cherokee Creek?
1600
00:58:54,534 --> 00:58:56,099
You never checked in.
1601
00:58:56,101 --> 00:58:57,901
Oh, that was
just a false alarm.
1602
00:58:57,903 --> 00:58:59,337
Everything looks
good, it's all fine.
1603
00:58:59,339 --> 00:59:00,538
I checked out the north side,
1604
00:59:00,540 --> 00:59:01,905
I'm gonna go check
out the east side now.
1605
00:59:01,907 --> 00:59:03,073
DISPATCHER: Sounds
good, ten-four.
1606
00:59:03,075 --> 00:59:03,909
Ten-four.
1607
00:59:05,978 --> 00:59:07,211
- Alright.
- Alright!
1608
00:59:07,213 --> 00:59:10,113
Everybody, clean
up this crap, okay?
1609
00:59:10,115 --> 00:59:11,349
All of it!
1610
00:59:11,351 --> 00:59:13,284
Or I'm gonna find
you in the morning.
1611
00:59:13,286 --> 00:59:14,117
- Hey.
- Everything.
1612
00:59:14,119 --> 00:59:16,019
We're good, we're
good, we're good.
1613
00:59:16,021 --> 00:59:18,789
I'm talking the plates, the
cups, everything else, okay?
1614
00:59:18,791 --> 00:59:19,957
There's beer everywhere.
1615
00:59:19,959 --> 00:59:20,857
We don't need a fire.
1616
00:59:20,859 --> 00:59:21,494
Give me my hat.
1617
00:59:22,429 --> 00:59:24,229
Alright, we will
clean it up right now.
1618
00:59:24,231 --> 00:59:25,396
Thank you, thank you so much.
1619
00:59:25,398 --> 00:59:28,132
Jarrett, pick up all this
shit and throw it in the tent.
1620
00:59:28,134 --> 00:59:29,267
JARRETT: Okay.
1621
00:59:29,269 --> 00:59:31,536
DREW: Get that for me,
man, I gotta take a leak.
1622
00:59:31,538 --> 00:59:35,306
I saw these titty
bitches all over you
1623
00:59:35,308 --> 00:59:37,275
in the woods and you promised me
1624
00:59:37,277 --> 00:59:39,043
there wouldn't be
strippers and now
1625
00:59:39,045 --> 00:59:41,512
you're not picking up
your phone, I wonder why.
1626
00:59:41,514 --> 00:59:43,314
I wonder why, Pat.
1627
00:59:43,316 --> 00:59:45,283
I am going to keep calling you
1628
00:59:45,285 --> 00:59:47,919
until I find you in
those fucking woods
1629
00:59:47,921 --> 00:59:49,454
and I'm going to sit you down.
1630
00:59:49,456 --> 00:59:50,789
Roll the window down.
1631
00:59:51,558 --> 00:59:52,490
(POUNDING ON GLASS)
1632
00:59:52,492 --> 00:59:53,958
Have one hell of a talk
1633
00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:56,861
because right now I am
questioning everything.
1634
00:59:56,863 --> 00:59:58,296
Everything, Pat.
1635
00:59:58,298 --> 01:00:01,332
Call me back.
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
1636
01:00:01,334 --> 01:00:02,267
What?
1637
01:00:02,269 --> 01:00:04,235
You owe me for two
dances and three drinks.
1638
01:00:04,237 --> 01:00:05,169
What are you talking about?
1639
01:00:05,171 --> 01:00:06,537
No, it's my bachelorette party.
1640
01:00:06,539 --> 01:00:08,239
My friends are in
there, they've got me,
1641
01:00:08,241 --> 01:00:09,240
go talk to them.
1642
01:00:09,242 --> 01:00:11,309
Listen, there's no way
you're getting married.
1643
01:00:11,311 --> 01:00:13,144
No dude would marry some chick
1644
01:00:13,146 --> 01:00:14,279
that's hanging out at a dick bar
1645
01:00:14,281 --> 01:00:17,282
every weekend with a life
filled with such debauchery.
1646
01:00:17,284 --> 01:00:18,584
There's no bachelorette party,
1647
01:00:18,586 --> 01:00:20,051
you don't have any friends,
1648
01:00:20,053 --> 01:00:21,386
you're going home
to feed your cats.
1649
01:00:21,388 --> 01:00:23,087
What?
1650
01:00:23,089 --> 01:00:24,289
What the fuck does that
have to do with anything?
1651
01:00:24,291 --> 01:00:27,258
I don't owe you
shit, okay, dimwit?
1652
01:00:27,260 --> 01:00:28,926
Listen, there's no
need to be a bitch.
1653
01:00:28,928 --> 01:00:33,031
I need you to pay for
two dances, three drinks.
1654
01:00:33,033 --> 01:00:34,299
I see you in here every weekend
1655
01:00:34,301 --> 01:00:36,100
spending money on them
dicks like it's crack.
1656
01:00:36,102 --> 01:00:38,069
So I need you to go ahead
and crack open that purse
1657
01:00:38,071 --> 01:00:40,406
and pay for the two dances
and three drinks that you got.
1658
01:00:40,408 --> 01:00:42,641
Okay, fine, don't be such
a fucking dick about it.
1659
01:00:42,643 --> 01:00:44,345
Jesus Christ.
1660
01:00:46,247 --> 01:00:49,517
Two dances, three
drinks, pay up.
1661
01:00:51,918 --> 01:00:54,388
(ENGINE REVS)
1662
01:01:00,194 --> 01:01:02,596
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
1663
01:01:07,635 --> 01:01:08,469
Oh!
1664
01:01:13,474 --> 01:01:14,373
(PANTS UNZIPPING)
1665
01:01:14,375 --> 01:01:17,076
Little chickee, eat a banana.
1666
01:01:17,078 --> 01:01:19,078
And I'll show you a big daddy.
1667
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,112
That's right.
1668
01:01:20,114 --> 01:01:22,514
(MAN GROANS)
1669
01:01:22,516 --> 01:01:25,384
You gonna get a
workout tonight, Bubba.
1670
01:01:25,386 --> 01:01:27,086
That's right.
1671
01:01:27,088 --> 01:01:27,922
Big time.
1672
01:01:30,591 --> 01:01:31,926
Ooh, that bitch is hot.
1673
01:01:32,993 --> 01:01:33,627
Mmhmm.
1674
01:01:34,528 --> 01:01:35,529
What the fuck?
1675
01:01:36,430 --> 01:01:37,696
Hey, man.
1676
01:01:37,698 --> 01:01:39,998
You must be the producer
that Jinx told me about.
1677
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:41,467
Drew?
1678
01:01:41,469 --> 01:01:44,605
Oh yeah, you must be
the aspiring actor, Dusty.
1679
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:47,573
How tall are you?
1680
01:01:47,575 --> 01:01:49,508
How tall do you want me to be?
1681
01:01:49,510 --> 01:01:53,345
Well, the job posting said
you had to be at least 6'5
1682
01:01:53,347 --> 01:01:56,515
or taller, you look
like you're barely 5'11.
1683
01:01:56,517 --> 01:01:58,417
Well, hey man,
don't worry about it
1684
01:01:58,419 --> 01:02:00,386
because between you and
me, I have some KISS boots
1685
01:02:00,388 --> 01:02:03,389
back in my car that
are ready to strap on.
1686
01:02:03,391 --> 01:02:05,057
Well, we got bigger problems.
1687
01:02:05,059 --> 01:02:07,328
What the fuck are you wearing?
1688
01:02:08,697 --> 01:02:11,466
What happened to the costume
we gave you at the studio?
1689
01:02:13,402 --> 01:02:15,535
This looks like some
cheap piece of shit
1690
01:02:15,537 --> 01:02:19,706
you'd get at a local retail
outlet for a Halloween party.
1691
01:02:19,708 --> 01:02:21,408
Well, here's the thing, man.
1692
01:02:21,410 --> 01:02:22,542
That suit that you guys gave me
1693
01:02:22,544 --> 01:02:26,413
was so fucking hot and it
smelled like absolute shit
1694
01:02:26,415 --> 01:02:28,180
whenever I got into it, man.
1695
01:02:28,182 --> 01:02:30,283
I picked this up for
50 dollars at the store
1696
01:02:30,285 --> 01:02:33,188
and it works just as good
and it looks fucking cool.
1697
01:02:34,589 --> 01:02:36,691
Please tell me you know
what method acting is.
1698
01:02:38,260 --> 01:02:39,759
Well, here's the thing,
1699
01:02:39,761 --> 01:02:43,061
I haven't been
doing this that long
1700
01:02:43,063 --> 01:02:44,664
but I'm a really quick learner
1701
01:02:44,666 --> 01:02:47,032
and as long as you tell me
what to do, I can do it.
1702
01:02:47,034 --> 01:02:48,601
I watch a lot of movies
1703
01:02:48,603 --> 01:02:51,037
and it really can't be
that hard to pick up.
1704
01:02:51,039 --> 01:02:54,274
Oh, we are so fucked.
1705
01:02:54,276 --> 01:02:55,577
Alright, listen.
1706
01:02:56,778 --> 01:03:01,047
Method acting is committing
to the part 100 percent, okay?
1707
01:03:01,049 --> 01:03:02,682
You don't even know
where you begin
1708
01:03:02,684 --> 01:03:04,617
- and the character ends.
- Yeah.
1709
01:03:04,619 --> 01:03:08,123
Basically, you cease
to exist as a person.
1710
01:03:09,458 --> 01:03:13,092
Now listen to me, I
want you to be Bigfoot.
1711
01:03:13,094 --> 01:03:16,563
Alright, so go and
be Bigfoot, alright?
1712
01:03:16,565 --> 01:03:20,768
Get your KISS boots, put 'em
on and put on the costume
1713
01:03:20,770 --> 01:03:24,304
that we gave you
originally to wear.
1714
01:03:24,306 --> 01:03:26,072
Okay, yeah, I
think I can do that.
1715
01:03:26,074 --> 01:03:27,607
No, don't think
you could do it.
1716
01:03:27,609 --> 01:03:30,276
You either do it
or you don't do it.
1717
01:03:30,278 --> 01:03:31,511
Okay, man, I can do it.
1718
01:03:31,513 --> 01:03:33,681
I just, just relax a little bit.
1719
01:03:33,683 --> 01:03:36,516
I want a hundred
percent method.
1720
01:03:36,518 --> 01:03:38,218
Get in there and fucking growl,
1721
01:03:38,220 --> 01:03:39,687
fucking thrash shit
around, alright?
1722
01:03:39,689 --> 01:03:42,590
Bigfoot's not a pussy, so
quit acting like a pussy.
1723
01:03:42,592 --> 01:03:44,457
- No more pussy talk!
- So don't be a pussy.
1724
01:03:44,459 --> 01:03:45,626
I won't!
1725
01:03:45,628 --> 01:03:49,062
Oh my God, I cannot believe
Vinny Blades is out here.
1726
01:03:49,064 --> 01:03:52,600
I've seen all his movies and
his music is badass, too.
1727
01:03:52,602 --> 01:03:53,400
I know.
1728
01:03:53,402 --> 01:03:54,602
I love 80s rock.
1729
01:03:54,604 --> 01:03:57,103
Maybe later we can
double team him.
1730
01:03:57,105 --> 01:03:58,339
I'm all for that.
1731
01:03:58,341 --> 01:04:00,774
I mean, shit, and
those eyes, oh my God.
1732
01:04:00,776 --> 01:04:01,742
I know.
1733
01:04:01,744 --> 01:04:03,644
All his friends are such dorks.
1734
01:04:03,646 --> 01:04:06,079
How do you think
they know him?
1735
01:04:06,081 --> 01:04:07,548
They probably work
for him or something.
1736
01:04:07,550 --> 01:04:09,252
Part of his entourage.
1737
01:04:10,586 --> 01:04:12,085
I don't think he could
actually be friends with them.
1738
01:04:12,087 --> 01:04:12,720
LACIE: Me either.
1739
01:04:12,722 --> 01:04:13,554
(LACIE GASPS)
1740
01:04:13,556 --> 01:04:14,555
Oh my God.
1741
01:04:14,557 --> 01:04:18,425
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
1742
01:04:18,427 --> 01:04:19,729
Please tell me that was you.
1743
01:04:21,130 --> 01:04:22,696
What do you mean?
1744
01:04:22,698 --> 01:04:25,766
Please, tell me you put
a bloody hand out there
1745
01:04:25,768 --> 01:04:26,702
for them to find.
1746
01:04:27,703 --> 01:04:29,837
Uh, oh, oh yeah.
1747
01:04:29,839 --> 01:04:31,505
No, no, no, that was me.
1748
01:04:31,507 --> 01:04:34,308
I put a bloody hand and
some other stuff out there.
1749
01:04:34,310 --> 01:04:35,609
No, yeah, that was all me.
1750
01:04:35,611 --> 01:04:36,844
Okay, okay.
1751
01:04:36,846 --> 01:04:38,679
And you took care
of the vehicles?
1752
01:04:38,681 --> 01:04:40,447
And the cell phones?
1753
01:04:40,449 --> 01:04:43,684
Well, the vehicles, yes,
but the cell phones, no.
1754
01:04:43,686 --> 01:04:45,653
Oh, fuck, alright, look.
1755
01:04:45,655 --> 01:04:46,754
Gonna have to haul
ass in the camp
1756
01:04:46,756 --> 01:04:48,188
while they're all
out checking out
1757
01:04:48,190 --> 01:04:49,657
what the girls are
freaking out about.
1758
01:04:49,659 --> 01:04:51,725
Alright, all the cell
phones they're in
1759
01:04:51,727 --> 01:04:53,727
the tent Chad's in, alright?
1760
01:04:53,729 --> 01:04:56,330
And don't fuck this up if you
wanna be in one of my movies.
1761
01:04:56,332 --> 01:04:57,464
You got it, I won't.
1762
01:04:57,466 --> 01:04:58,767
- No, no, no, I got it.
- Go now.
1763
01:04:58,769 --> 01:05:00,735
Get the fuck outta here, Chaka.
1764
01:05:00,737 --> 01:05:02,236
Yeah, I got it, man!
1765
01:05:02,238 --> 01:05:04,471
I won't let you down, sir!
1766
01:05:04,473 --> 01:05:05,308
Fuck.
1767
01:05:06,810 --> 01:05:08,142
Hey!
1768
01:05:08,144 --> 01:05:10,177
What's goin' on?
1769
01:05:10,179 --> 01:05:11,613
I, I don't know,
there's like something
1770
01:05:11,615 --> 01:05:13,615
over here that's
dead, I don't know.
1771
01:05:13,617 --> 01:05:15,416
Shit, is that a bloody skull?
1772
01:05:15,418 --> 01:05:16,818
A bloody foot?
1773
01:05:16,820 --> 01:05:20,254
And some, something or
someone must've killed it.
1774
01:05:20,256 --> 01:05:21,690
Why didn't you call me
to come and protect you?
1775
01:05:21,692 --> 01:05:22,724
I could've done that.
1776
01:05:22,726 --> 01:05:23,760
What the hell is that?
1777
01:05:24,828 --> 01:05:27,394
Did some sort of animal attack?
1778
01:05:27,396 --> 01:05:28,430
Well, it could
be, I mean shit.
1779
01:05:28,432 --> 01:05:30,297
They've had a lot of
Bigfoot sightings out here,
1780
01:05:30,299 --> 01:05:31,666
that's why we brought Pat
here in the first place.
1781
01:05:31,668 --> 01:05:33,167
Whoa, you think
there's a Bigfoot
1782
01:05:33,169 --> 01:05:34,869
running around here
killing people?
1783
01:05:34,871 --> 01:05:36,270
Well, yeah, why wouldn't it?
1784
01:05:36,272 --> 01:05:38,506
No, no, no, you
guys Bigfoot wouldn't,
1785
01:05:38,508 --> 01:05:39,741
Bigfoot wouldn't hurt
anybody, you know,
1786
01:05:39,743 --> 01:05:43,878
unless you're fuckin'
with his territory.
1787
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:44,715
Or him.
1788
01:05:45,782 --> 01:05:46,648
You know?
1789
01:05:46,650 --> 01:05:48,883
Come on, you know,
you know the rules.
1790
01:05:48,885 --> 01:05:49,884
I told y'all.
1791
01:05:49,886 --> 01:05:51,586
- Rules?
- I don't know.
1792
01:05:51,588 --> 01:05:52,754
I ain't never heard of
no fucking Bigfoot rules.
1793
01:05:52,756 --> 01:05:53,688
Did you guys?
1794
01:05:53,690 --> 01:05:55,290
I don't know what
the fucking rules are.
1795
01:05:55,292 --> 01:05:56,858
Did you tell me some rules?
1796
01:05:56,860 --> 01:05:58,193
Dude, I ain't never
heard no fucking rules.
1797
01:05:58,195 --> 01:05:59,327
Guys!
1798
01:05:59,329 --> 01:05:59,928
What?
1799
01:05:59,930 --> 01:06:01,329
Rules!
1800
01:06:01,331 --> 01:06:02,430
Alright, fine,
what are the rules?
1801
01:06:02,432 --> 01:06:07,204
You don't piss or shit
or fornicate in his area.
1802
01:06:07,804 --> 01:06:08,205
His territory.
1803
01:06:09,706 --> 01:06:10,538
VINNY: What, out here?
1804
01:06:10,540 --> 01:06:11,740
Yeah.
1805
01:06:11,742 --> 01:06:12,841
Cause it's just
disrespectful, man.
1806
01:06:12,843 --> 01:06:17,746
Like, he's an animal just
like all the other animals.
1807
01:06:17,748 --> 01:06:18,580
What?
1808
01:06:18,582 --> 01:06:20,717
Yeah, he's just
bigger and scarier.
1809
01:06:21,919 --> 01:06:23,251
That's all people do is piss
1810
01:06:23,253 --> 01:06:24,486
and shit and fornicate
in the woods.
1811
01:06:24,488 --> 01:06:26,989
Um, okay, so I just
pissed in the woods,
1812
01:06:26,991 --> 01:06:28,723
is he gonna come kill me now?
1813
01:06:28,725 --> 01:06:30,928
- Yeah, so did I.
- Uh.
1814
01:06:33,597 --> 01:06:35,263
Yeah, what's the
rules with the women?
1815
01:06:35,265 --> 01:06:36,766
I don't know, I
mean they're female so
1816
01:06:36,768 --> 01:06:39,969
you might be alright but
I'm not a hundred percent.
1817
01:06:39,971 --> 01:06:43,638
You don't really believe
in Bigfoot, do you?
1818
01:06:43,640 --> 01:06:46,307
It had to have been
another human, a bear,
1819
01:06:46,309 --> 01:06:49,310
some other animal, I don't
believe that nonsense.
1820
01:06:49,312 --> 01:06:50,846
Um, I'm sure
you're right, Bambi.
1821
01:06:50,848 --> 01:06:53,816
I mean, after all we do
have these, you know,
1822
01:06:53,818 --> 01:06:55,885
handsome strong men
to come protect us.
1823
01:06:55,887 --> 01:06:57,620
Well, of course.
1824
01:06:57,622 --> 01:06:58,654
That's right.
1825
01:06:58,656 --> 01:07:00,823
I would never let anything
happen to you girls.
1826
01:07:00,825 --> 01:07:02,225
Not as long as I'm here.
1827
01:07:05,463 --> 01:07:06,464
Hey, Bambi.
1828
01:07:07,865 --> 01:07:10,298
Thanks for making this
the best night of my life.
1829
01:07:10,300 --> 01:07:13,502
Could I maybe get your
e-mail or your phone number?
1830
01:07:13,504 --> 01:07:14,737
Maybe your Instagram handle?
1831
01:07:14,739 --> 01:07:16,639
You're so sweet.
1832
01:07:16,641 --> 01:07:19,341
You can look me up on
Facebook and add me
1833
01:07:19,343 --> 01:07:21,844
and after we're friends,
you can see when I'm working
1834
01:07:21,846 --> 01:07:23,779
and come get some
dances at the club.
1835
01:07:23,781 --> 01:07:24,947
Awesome!
1836
01:07:24,949 --> 01:07:28,384
That sounds great,
yeah, I'll see you soon.
1837
01:07:28,386 --> 01:07:29,552
Okay.
1838
01:07:29,554 --> 01:07:30,986
Get back over here, man.
1839
01:07:30,988 --> 01:07:32,688
Alright.
1840
01:07:32,690 --> 01:07:34,657
Yeah, yeah, go to the club
and spend all your money.
1841
01:07:34,659 --> 01:07:35,858
Smart man.
1842
01:07:35,860 --> 01:07:36,894
Good job.
1843
01:07:39,063 --> 01:07:40,062
What the hell, man, you alright?
1844
01:07:40,064 --> 01:07:41,831
- You alright?
- You okay?
1845
01:07:41,833 --> 01:07:42,865
(PAT GAGS AND COUGHS)
1846
01:07:42,867 --> 01:07:43,699
(GROUP YELLS)
1847
01:07:43,701 --> 01:07:44,533
What the fuck, man?
1848
01:07:44,535 --> 01:07:45,367
That hit me!
1849
01:07:45,369 --> 01:07:46,302
Oh.
1850
01:07:46,304 --> 01:07:47,369
Oh, dude, dude, you okay?
1851
01:07:47,371 --> 01:07:48,304
What the fuck?
1852
01:07:48,306 --> 01:07:49,772
What the fuck's going on?
1853
01:07:49,774 --> 01:07:50,639
I, I don't think, I don't
think I feel very good.
1854
01:07:50,641 --> 01:07:51,774
Think it hit me
in the eye, dude.
1855
01:07:51,776 --> 01:07:52,908
Thanks.
1856
01:07:52,910 --> 01:07:54,010
You smell like shit, man.
1857
01:07:54,012 --> 01:07:55,778
Hey, you know what, guys?
1858
01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:57,080
I think we need to
get him back to camp.
1859
01:07:57,082 --> 01:07:58,814
Yeah, I can't
party with you guys.
1860
01:07:58,816 --> 01:07:59,815
Get him outta here, man.
1861
01:07:59,817 --> 01:08:02,618
Alright, guys, I think
I was drugged, you know?
1862
01:08:02,620 --> 01:08:04,020
Hey, uh, me and Vinny
are gonna take care
1863
01:08:04,022 --> 01:08:05,554
of the girls, we'll
get 'em back to Brick.
1864
01:08:05,556 --> 01:08:06,822
- Bye, girls.
- What?
1865
01:08:06,824 --> 01:08:08,357
We'll catch up with
y'all later, alright?
1866
01:08:08,359 --> 01:08:10,929
(TENT UNZIPPING)
1867
01:08:20,806 --> 01:08:25,443
Fucking party with
fuckin' harlots without me?
1868
01:08:29,347 --> 01:08:31,984
I'm pissing in the
fucking cooler.
1869
01:08:33,585 --> 01:08:36,054
(CHAD GRUNTING)
1870
01:08:38,090 --> 01:08:38,924
Okay.
1871
01:08:39,825 --> 01:08:40,859
Oh.
1872
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:42,594
Ah, yeah.
1873
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:50,536
(BEAST GROWLING)
1874
01:08:51,637 --> 01:08:54,037
Wait, that's my
tent, that's my tent.
1875
01:08:54,039 --> 01:08:56,473
(CHAD CHUCKLING)
(BEAST SNARLING)
1876
01:08:56,475 --> 01:08:57,976
Taste the rainbow.
1877
01:08:58,944 --> 01:09:00,877
I get the best seat in town.
1878
01:09:00,879 --> 01:09:02,078
Ooh.
1879
01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:03,513
Hey!
1880
01:09:03,515 --> 01:09:05,417
Fucking watch out, you
almost hit my dick!
1881
01:09:09,955 --> 01:09:11,890
Ah, guys, fuckin' stop.
1882
01:09:14,860 --> 01:09:16,929
Ah, fucking dickhead.
1883
01:09:17,896 --> 01:09:20,063
Fucking shit, fucking cut it,
1884
01:09:20,065 --> 01:09:21,800
ah, fuck you!
1885
01:09:23,035 --> 01:09:24,034
Ow!
1886
01:09:24,036 --> 01:09:25,635
You fuckin' asshole.
1887
01:09:25,637 --> 01:09:27,003
Ow!
1888
01:09:27,005 --> 01:09:28,172
Ah!
1889
01:09:28,174 --> 01:09:29,840
Ow!
1890
01:09:29,842 --> 01:09:33,110
(CHAD PANTING)
1891
01:09:33,112 --> 01:09:35,745
(CHAD YELLS)
1892
01:09:35,747 --> 01:09:36,815
Stop, guys!
1893
01:09:38,717 --> 01:09:40,552
Guys, fucking stop!
1894
01:09:42,055 --> 01:09:46,924
Stop, okay, I'm sorry I
peed on the camp, okay?
1895
01:09:46,926 --> 01:09:49,126
Just fucking cut it out.
1896
01:09:49,128 --> 01:09:50,895
(BEAST GROWLING)
(CHAD YELLING)
1897
01:09:50,897 --> 01:09:51,996
Who's fucking doing that?
1898
01:09:51,998 --> 01:09:53,630
Stop that shit.
1899
01:09:53,632 --> 01:09:54,832
That fucking.
1900
01:09:54,834 --> 01:09:57,068
(WHIMPERING AND GROWLING
COVERS UP DIALOGUE)
1901
01:09:57,070 --> 01:09:58,938
Fucking God, please.
1902
01:10:01,875 --> 01:10:03,040
I don't, thou.
1903
01:10:03,042 --> 01:10:05,745
Thou art the father in Heaven,
1904
01:10:07,046 --> 01:10:10,884
in Heaven, come unto
glory for fucking, think,
1905
01:10:12,752 --> 01:10:13,918
and break the trespassers.
1906
01:10:13,920 --> 01:10:15,452
What the fuck?
1907
01:10:15,454 --> 01:10:16,187
Oh my fucking God.
1908
01:10:16,189 --> 01:10:17,655
Oh, straight to voicemail?
1909
01:10:17,657 --> 01:10:19,156
You turned your phone off?
1910
01:10:19,158 --> 01:10:20,992
Motherfucker, I'm
gonna embarrass you
1911
01:10:20,994 --> 01:10:22,159
in front of all of your friends,
1912
01:10:22,161 --> 01:10:23,527
how does that sound?
1913
01:10:23,529 --> 01:10:24,461
Yeah, that's right,
motherfucker.
1914
01:10:24,463 --> 01:10:26,931
I put a tracker on your phone.
1915
01:10:26,933 --> 01:10:29,602
(ALARM BLARING)
1916
01:10:34,207 --> 01:10:35,907
Fuck, stop, fuck, I'm awake.
1917
01:10:35,909 --> 01:10:37,875
You fucking noise, fuck!
1918
01:10:37,877 --> 01:10:39,810
(BEAST GROWLING)
1919
01:10:39,812 --> 01:10:41,612
(CHAD GRUNTS)
1920
01:10:41,614 --> 01:10:43,014
Shit.
(TENT UNZIPPING)
1921
01:10:43,016 --> 01:10:45,852
(INTENSE MUSIC)
1922
01:10:56,263 --> 01:10:57,495
Shit.
1923
01:10:57,497 --> 01:10:59,532
Shit every fucking where.
1924
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:00,998
Shit.
1925
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:04,102
(CHAD PANTING)
1926
01:11:04,104 --> 01:11:07,040
(BEAST GROWLING)
1927
01:11:09,276 --> 01:11:10,110
Shit.
1928
01:11:13,213 --> 01:11:14,980
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Uh oh.
1929
01:11:14,982 --> 01:11:16,681
- Oh, he's gonna blow.
- Oh, oh, oh.
1930
01:11:16,683 --> 01:11:17,983
Ooh!
1931
01:11:17,985 --> 01:11:18,749
- Aww.
- Dude.
1932
01:11:18,751 --> 01:11:21,086
Oh, I'm not
lookin' over there.
1933
01:11:21,088 --> 01:11:22,120
I'm okay.
1934
01:11:22,122 --> 01:11:24,522
Hey, where is it?
1935
01:11:24,524 --> 01:11:25,991
- Where's my phone?
- Okay, it's over here.
1936
01:11:25,993 --> 01:11:26,925
- Find my phone.
- We'll get it.
1937
01:11:26,927 --> 01:11:29,094
- Okay, okay, alright.
- Watch your step.
1938
01:11:29,096 --> 01:11:30,295
Oh, log, log, log.
1939
01:11:30,297 --> 01:11:31,263
There's a log there,
there's a log.
1940
01:11:31,265 --> 01:11:33,564
Okay, log, log, yep.
1941
01:11:33,566 --> 01:11:35,599
- Is it in here?
- Yeah, can you get in there?
1942
01:11:35,601 --> 01:11:38,072
Oh, easy, easy, easy!
1943
01:11:39,974 --> 01:11:41,039
You can
1944
01:11:41,041 --> 01:11:42,242
check that out, I'm not.
1945
01:11:43,310 --> 01:11:44,144
He's okay.
1946
01:11:45,145 --> 01:11:46,945
Hey.
1947
01:11:46,947 --> 01:11:47,813
- He's okay.
- Okay.
1948
01:11:47,815 --> 01:11:50,015
Hey, listen, speaking
of cell phones,
1949
01:11:50,017 --> 01:11:51,883
my portable cell phone charger,
1950
01:11:51,885 --> 01:11:53,285
I left it in the car.
1951
01:11:53,287 --> 01:11:54,219
I'ma have to go get it, man.
1952
01:11:54,221 --> 01:11:55,187
- What?
- Yeah.
1953
01:11:55,189 --> 01:11:56,888
I can't be without a cellphone.
1954
01:11:56,890 --> 01:11:59,624
Hey, you take care of him,
I'll be back in a few.
1955
01:11:59,626 --> 01:12:00,859
- You got this.
- What?
1956
01:12:00,861 --> 01:12:02,563
No, you can't leave me with him!
1957
01:12:03,731 --> 01:12:05,864
- Jarrett!
- Hey.
1958
01:12:05,866 --> 01:12:07,933
- Hey.
- Hey, hey, there's a lantern.
1959
01:12:07,935 --> 01:12:11,005
- There you go.
- I have to call Caroline.
1960
01:12:15,009 --> 01:12:17,075
- Hey, Pat!
- What?
1961
01:12:17,077 --> 01:12:18,310
Uh, Chad's gone.
1962
01:12:18,312 --> 01:12:19,947
Who gives a shit?
1963
01:12:21,081 --> 01:12:24,182
I should've knocked
him out years ago
1964
01:12:24,184 --> 01:12:26,718
for his shit mouth tying.
1965
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:27,788
Go get my phone!
1966
01:12:29,089 --> 01:12:30,657
I gotta call Caroline.
1967
01:12:34,762 --> 01:12:37,095
- Uh, Pat?
- Huh?
1968
01:12:37,097 --> 01:12:39,698
Uh, phone is broke
into a bunch of pieces.
1969
01:12:39,700 --> 01:12:41,800
What do you mean
broke into pieces?
1970
01:12:41,802 --> 01:12:44,370
I guess when Chad woke
up from being knocked out,
1971
01:12:44,372 --> 01:12:47,639
he got really pissed and
smashed up our phones
1972
01:12:47,641 --> 01:12:48,907
and then he left.
1973
01:12:48,909 --> 01:12:50,176
You know it sounds
just like something
1974
01:12:50,178 --> 01:12:52,844
that asshole would
do, you know that?
1975
01:12:52,846 --> 01:12:54,113
Oh, I'm fucked up.
1976
01:12:54,115 --> 01:12:55,181
I'm pretty, I'm
fading fast, man.
1977
01:12:55,183 --> 01:12:56,615
I can't.
1978
01:12:56,617 --> 01:12:57,783
I can't deal with
this right now, okay?
1979
01:12:57,785 --> 01:12:59,651
I'll find him in the morning.
1980
01:12:59,653 --> 01:13:00,886
I'll give him a sandwich.
1981
01:13:00,888 --> 01:13:02,123
I'll give him a
knuckle sandwich.
1982
01:13:04,625 --> 01:13:06,359
What am I supposed to do?
1983
01:13:06,361 --> 01:13:08,161
Shut up and go to sleep.
1984
01:13:08,163 --> 01:13:09,761
I can't go to sleep!
1985
01:13:09,763 --> 01:13:12,298
I slept for 16 hours straight
for this badass party,
1986
01:13:12,300 --> 01:13:13,700
I wanna get some action!
1987
01:13:14,869 --> 01:13:16,335
Plus I need somebody
cool to hang out with.
1988
01:13:16,337 --> 01:13:19,405
Oh my God, just stop talking.
1989
01:13:19,407 --> 01:13:21,841
Leave me alone, go
sleep in Chad's tent.
1990
01:13:21,843 --> 01:13:22,875
Go!
1991
01:13:22,877 --> 01:13:23,745
Now fuck off!
1992
01:13:24,913 --> 01:13:26,946
(PAT GRUNTS)
1993
01:13:26,948 --> 01:13:27,782
Hey, Pat.
1994
01:13:29,184 --> 01:13:30,718
You're a real dick.
1995
01:13:33,388 --> 01:13:36,224
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
1996
01:13:38,426 --> 01:13:43,631
(INTENSE MUSIC)
(CHAD GRUNTING)
1997
01:13:44,766 --> 01:13:45,998
Shit, fucking fuck,
fuck, shit, shit.
1998
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:47,233
Fucking fuck.
1999
01:13:47,235 --> 01:13:48,401
Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh
shit, fucking please.
2000
01:13:48,403 --> 01:13:51,037
Fuck, fuck, please, please.
2001
01:13:51,039 --> 01:13:56,044
(OWL HOOTING)
(CHAD GASPING)
2002
01:13:58,079 --> 01:13:59,446
(CHAD PANTING)
2003
01:13:59,448 --> 01:14:00,215
Holy shit.
2004
01:14:01,716 --> 01:14:02,882
Pat was right.
2005
01:14:02,884 --> 01:14:05,653
(BEAST GROWLING)
2006
01:14:08,022 --> 01:14:11,759
(CHAD GURGLING AND GROANING)
2007
01:14:12,961 --> 01:14:15,864
(BIGFOOT SNARLING)
2008
01:14:20,768 --> 01:14:22,101
Ooh, I gotta take a shit.
2009
01:14:22,103 --> 01:14:23,403
Ooh.
2010
01:14:23,405 --> 01:14:24,804
(DREW FARTS)
2011
01:14:24,806 --> 01:14:27,174
Mm, oh shouldn't have
had that hot dog.
2012
01:14:27,176 --> 01:14:30,079
Oh, God.
2013
01:14:35,284 --> 01:14:36,118
Shit.
2014
01:14:39,754 --> 01:14:41,854
(DREW FARTS)
2015
01:14:41,856 --> 01:14:45,325
Oh.
(FARTING CONTINUES)
2016
01:14:45,327 --> 01:14:47,829
(DREW GRUNTS)
2017
01:14:50,866 --> 01:14:52,134
Ooh, that is rancid.
2018
01:14:54,837 --> 01:14:56,937
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
2019
01:14:56,939 --> 01:14:57,773
Dusty?
2020
01:14:58,874 --> 01:15:01,975
Is that you?
(BIGFOOT GROWLING)
2021
01:15:01,977 --> 01:15:03,844
(DREW FARTS AND GROANS)
2022
01:15:03,846 --> 01:15:05,746
Oh, how am I gonna wipe this up?
2023
01:15:05,748 --> 01:15:07,014
Oh.
2024
01:15:07,016 --> 01:15:08,184
Some leaves, leaves.
2025
01:15:11,187 --> 01:15:12,386
Oh, that's not gonna work.
2026
01:15:12,388 --> 01:15:15,255
Oh, shit, I gotta get the sock.
2027
01:15:15,257 --> 01:15:16,456
Gotta get a sock.
2028
01:15:16,458 --> 01:15:18,093
Take off my sock.
2029
01:15:19,028 --> 01:15:20,460
Oh, shit.
2030
01:15:20,462 --> 01:15:21,297
Oh.
2031
01:15:27,236 --> 01:15:28,769
(DREW SIGHS)
2032
01:15:28,771 --> 01:15:29,405
Oh, yeah.
2033
01:15:33,342 --> 01:15:34,176
Mmm.
2034
01:15:35,110 --> 01:15:37,811
Oh, good lord.
2035
01:15:37,813 --> 01:15:39,215
Oh, that stinks.
2036
01:15:40,316 --> 01:15:42,350
(BIGFOOT SNARLING)
2037
01:15:42,352 --> 01:15:44,321
Oh, yeah, that's
gonna clean up nice.
2038
01:15:46,188 --> 01:15:47,821
What the fuck?
2039
01:15:47,823 --> 01:15:49,424
God damn it.
2040
01:15:49,426 --> 01:15:50,258
Fuck!
2041
01:15:50,260 --> 01:15:51,158
I'm, shit!
2042
01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:53,394
Fucking shit everywhere!
2043
01:15:53,396 --> 01:15:54,397
God damn it!
2044
01:15:55,332 --> 01:15:56,366
Fuck it.
2045
01:15:58,568 --> 01:16:01,204
I'll shower it off
when I get home.
2046
01:16:06,276 --> 01:16:09,212
(BIGFOOT SNARLING)
2047
01:16:19,855 --> 01:16:22,459
(LOW GROWLING)
2048
01:16:25,195 --> 01:16:27,828
What the fuck is that?
2049
01:16:27,830 --> 01:16:30,333
(BIRD CAWING)
2050
01:16:32,535 --> 01:16:33,370
Uncle?
2051
01:16:35,438 --> 01:16:40,443
Vinny?
2052
01:16:40,910 --> 01:16:41,344
Dusty?
2053
01:16:42,379 --> 01:16:44,114
Dude, is that you?
2054
01:16:48,451 --> 01:16:50,385
Now that's the fucking Bigfoot
2055
01:16:50,387 --> 01:16:52,887
costume you're supposed to wear.
2056
01:16:52,889 --> 01:16:54,355
Yes!
2057
01:16:54,357 --> 01:16:56,026
Hey, let's hug it out, bitch.
2058
01:16:58,361 --> 01:16:59,195
Oh!
2059
01:17:00,196 --> 01:17:02,363
Jesus, you're strong!
2060
01:17:02,365 --> 01:17:03,532
Hey, man, I can't breathe.
2061
01:17:03,534 --> 01:17:07,001
Motherfucker, I can't breathe!
2062
01:17:07,003 --> 01:17:08,169
You win!
2063
01:17:08,171 --> 01:17:09,571
No more, man, no more, man.
2064
01:17:09,573 --> 01:17:14,578
(BONES CRACKING)
(DREW SCREAMS)
2065
01:17:18,349 --> 01:17:19,881
This is the spot
that that dude, Brick,
2066
01:17:19,883 --> 01:17:21,082
told me to meet him at.
2067
01:17:21,084 --> 01:17:22,016
He said if the
girls weren't here
2068
01:17:22,018 --> 01:17:23,251
at this exact fucking moment,
2069
01:17:23,253 --> 01:17:25,255
he was gonna charge
me an extra 600 bucks.
2070
01:17:26,524 --> 01:17:28,056
I don't know, it went
straight to voicemail.
2071
01:17:28,058 --> 01:17:30,392
Hey, man, look, relax,
we got here early.
2072
01:17:30,394 --> 01:17:31,327
Right?
2073
01:17:31,329 --> 01:17:33,295
So let's just enjoy the night.
2074
01:17:33,297 --> 01:17:34,463
Okay?
2075
01:17:34,465 --> 01:17:35,397
Maybe he's out
there taking a shit.
2076
01:17:35,399 --> 01:17:36,198
I think he's trying to gip me.
2077
01:17:36,200 --> 01:17:37,366
He's trying to
fucking rip me off.
2078
01:17:37,368 --> 01:17:38,300
So what do you do?
2079
01:17:38,302 --> 01:17:39,368
He decides he's gonna disappear
2080
01:17:39,370 --> 01:17:41,570
and then charge me because
I can't find his ass.
2081
01:17:41,572 --> 01:17:43,439
I think it's gonna be alright.
2082
01:17:43,441 --> 01:17:44,673
Okay?
2083
01:17:44,675 --> 01:17:45,940
Let's just go out
and enjoy our night.
2084
01:17:45,942 --> 01:17:47,142
Let's go for a walk.
2085
01:17:47,144 --> 01:17:48,577
So how do you guys
know each other?
2086
01:17:48,579 --> 01:17:51,280
You talking about me
and Pat or me and Vinny?
2087
01:17:51,282 --> 01:17:52,514
You and Vinny.
2088
01:17:52,516 --> 01:17:54,149
Like, I mean, I know
Vinny, he's a celebrity,
2089
01:17:54,151 --> 01:17:55,084
but like where do you?
2090
01:17:55,086 --> 01:17:57,586
Where do you fit into all this?
2091
01:17:57,588 --> 01:17:59,021
What?
2092
01:17:59,023 --> 01:18:00,189
Are you fucking
serious right now?
2093
01:18:00,191 --> 01:18:01,423
You're fucking kidding
with me, right?
2094
01:18:01,425 --> 01:18:02,257
I've seen all
of Vinny's movies
2095
01:18:02,259 --> 01:18:03,459
and I've never seen you.
2096
01:18:03,461 --> 01:18:05,327
- Really?
- Mm mm.
2097
01:18:05,329 --> 01:18:07,463
You're full of shit because
if you know how to read
2098
01:18:07,465 --> 01:18:10,432
fucking credits, where
it says produced by,
2099
01:18:10,434 --> 01:18:11,600
it says produced by me.
2100
01:18:11,602 --> 01:18:14,636
And also it has my name as
one of the co-leads with him.
2101
01:18:14,638 --> 01:18:17,039
I saved his ass on that
fucking Switchblade movie.
2102
01:18:17,041 --> 01:18:19,174
That's why he changed his
fucking name to Vinny Blades
2103
01:18:19,176 --> 01:18:21,076
and he has a whole
fucking franchise.
2104
01:18:21,078 --> 01:18:22,111
Because of me.
2105
01:18:22,113 --> 01:18:23,345
Fuck you!
2106
01:18:23,347 --> 01:18:25,547
How dare you make
me drive all the way
2107
01:18:25,549 --> 01:18:27,316
to the woods in the
middle of the night
2108
01:18:27,318 --> 01:18:30,285
when all I wanted was
just one simple night
2109
01:18:30,287 --> 01:18:32,287
out with the girls
before I get married?
2110
01:18:32,289 --> 01:18:34,258
That's literally all
I wanted, but no.
2111
01:18:35,459 --> 01:18:37,560
You had to post this
fucking video online
2112
01:18:37,562 --> 01:18:39,228
with these, these, these,
these, these fucking
2113
01:18:39,230 --> 01:18:43,265
like titty out, fucking
witch women, bitches, cunts,
2114
01:18:43,267 --> 01:18:46,068
whatever the fuck
they are all over you.
2115
01:18:46,070 --> 01:18:49,439
So now I've gotta come
sort that shit out.
2116
01:18:49,441 --> 01:18:51,541
You spread your
fucking seed too much.
2117
01:18:51,543 --> 01:18:53,443
You're with a fucking
different girl every night.
2118
01:18:53,445 --> 01:18:55,612
Dude, just, you know
what you should do?
2119
01:18:55,614 --> 01:18:57,146
You should take a
little responsibility
2120
01:18:57,148 --> 01:18:59,549
and wrap that motherfucker
up every once in awhile.
2121
01:18:59,551 --> 01:19:01,384
That's not rock n' roll.
2122
01:19:01,386 --> 01:19:04,421
I like to feel skin on skin.
2123
01:19:04,423 --> 01:19:05,588
Condoms suck.
2124
01:19:05,590 --> 01:19:07,022
You don't feel shit.
2125
01:19:07,024 --> 01:19:08,525
Those chicks thought
you wearing a condom
2126
01:19:08,527 --> 01:19:09,692
and you just fucking took it off
2127
01:19:09,694 --> 01:19:11,761
and planted your fucking
seed in 'em, man.
2128
01:19:11,763 --> 01:19:13,329
Without 'em even knowing.
2129
01:19:13,331 --> 01:19:14,364
That's not cool.
2130
01:19:14,366 --> 01:19:16,199
It's quite obvious you're
fuckin' jealous, man.
2131
01:19:16,201 --> 01:19:18,568
Just because nobody
recognizes you from shit.
2132
01:19:18,570 --> 01:19:19,769
Oh yeah, they recognize me.
2133
01:19:19,771 --> 01:19:21,171
Is that my fault?
2134
01:19:21,173 --> 01:19:22,104
No.
2135
01:19:22,106 --> 01:19:23,473
And by the way, let me tell you,
2136
01:19:23,475 --> 01:19:25,675
is it my fault,
it's not my fault,
2137
01:19:25,677 --> 01:19:29,145
that these women
that are accusing me
2138
01:19:29,147 --> 01:19:33,249
of fathering their child and
not paying child support,
2139
01:19:33,251 --> 01:19:34,751
that's not my responsibility.
2140
01:19:34,753 --> 01:19:36,286
They make a pill for that.
2141
01:19:36,288 --> 01:19:37,587
They should be taking that.
2142
01:19:37,589 --> 01:19:38,521
(JINX SCOFFS)
2143
01:19:38,523 --> 01:19:40,623
It's not your responsibility?
2144
01:19:40,625 --> 01:19:41,791
It's not your responsibility?
2145
01:19:41,793 --> 01:19:43,092
That's why you couldn't
2146
01:19:43,094 --> 01:19:44,494
get a fuckin'
passport, motherfucker.
2147
01:19:44,496 --> 01:19:46,429
When you promised me
you were gonna take me
2148
01:19:46,431 --> 01:19:48,665
to the Toronto Film
Festival to introduce me
2149
01:19:48,667 --> 01:19:51,468
to those guys that made
that shitty vampire movie.
2150
01:19:51,470 --> 01:19:52,402
You told me you
were gonna take me
2151
01:19:52,404 --> 01:19:53,636
to introduce me to those guys
2152
01:19:53,638 --> 01:19:56,439
and you told me to go
get a fucking passport.
2153
01:19:56,441 --> 01:19:58,541
I spent 300 dollars getting
a rush on that motherfucker.
2154
01:19:58,543 --> 01:20:00,109
And then I said, hey,
dude, are we going?
2155
01:20:00,111 --> 01:20:01,110
And you're like,
dude, I can't go.
2156
01:20:01,112 --> 01:20:02,245
I can't get a passport.
2157
01:20:02,247 --> 01:20:03,313
You know why?
2158
01:20:03,315 --> 01:20:04,782
Cause of your fucking
cock and your fucking seed
2159
01:20:04,784 --> 01:20:06,182
spreading that you gotta go
2160
01:20:06,184 --> 01:20:07,517
all over the fucking
place spreading around.
2161
01:20:07,519 --> 01:20:08,686
That's why.
2162
01:20:08,688 --> 01:20:10,487
Maybe if you weren't
such an asshole
2163
01:20:10,489 --> 01:20:11,655
and stopped being so jealous
2164
01:20:11,657 --> 01:20:13,089
and you didn't
cockblock all the time,
2165
01:20:13,091 --> 01:20:14,625
then you might actually
get some pussy, too.
2166
01:20:14,627 --> 01:20:15,626
Yeah.
2167
01:20:15,628 --> 01:20:17,728
Quit cockblocking, man.
2168
01:20:17,730 --> 01:20:19,697
You doin' these pop shots again.
2169
01:20:19,699 --> 01:20:20,631
- Really?
- Yeah.
2170
01:20:20,633 --> 01:20:22,566
I'm the asshole here tonight?
2171
01:20:22,568 --> 01:20:23,399
I'm the cockblocker?
2172
01:20:23,401 --> 01:20:24,802
I'm the fucking
asshole here tonight?
2173
01:20:24,804 --> 01:20:26,570
Because I'm trying
to save your asses
2174
01:20:26,572 --> 01:20:28,572
from getting knocked
up by his fucking seed?
2175
01:20:28,574 --> 01:20:30,508
Or catching an STD or something?
2176
01:20:30,510 --> 01:20:32,242
I've done nothing but
try to show all of you
2177
01:20:32,244 --> 01:20:33,711
a fucking good time!
2178
01:20:33,713 --> 01:20:35,345
I've been spending all my money
2179
01:20:35,347 --> 01:20:37,815
on getting us all this fucking
bullshit for your guys.
2180
01:20:37,817 --> 01:20:39,850
Then what the fuck
are you arguing about?
2181
01:20:39,852 --> 01:20:41,284
JINX: Oh my God.
2182
01:20:41,286 --> 01:20:42,353
LACIE: Bambi,
are you ready to go?
2183
01:20:42,355 --> 01:20:43,154
Vinny?
2184
01:20:44,824 --> 01:20:46,290
- Yeah.
- Oh no, no, no, no, no.
2185
01:20:46,292 --> 01:20:47,223
- Yeah, you know what?
- What's happening?
2186
01:20:47,225 --> 01:20:48,191
What's happening here?
2187
01:20:48,193 --> 01:20:48,826
We're gonna go for a walk.
2188
01:20:48,828 --> 01:20:50,193
I don't think so.
2189
01:20:50,195 --> 01:20:51,729
You're not going
anywhere with this guy.
2190
01:20:51,731 --> 01:20:54,163
Not the two of you, one
of you is coming with me.
2191
01:20:54,165 --> 01:20:55,466
Now you can decide now
2192
01:20:55,468 --> 01:20:56,534
or I'm gonna take the
matters into my hands.
2193
01:20:56,536 --> 01:20:58,136
Yeah, I'm not going with you.
2194
01:20:58,804 --> 01:21:00,237
Really?
2195
01:21:00,239 --> 01:21:01,605
I'm trying to save
your life here
2196
01:21:01,607 --> 01:21:04,208
and you're gonna
take this guy's word?
2197
01:21:04,210 --> 01:21:05,643
Even though he said all
this bullshit to you?
2198
01:21:05,645 --> 01:21:06,877
He just admitted it to you
2199
01:21:06,879 --> 01:21:08,178
and you're still
gonna go with him?
2200
01:21:08,180 --> 01:21:09,680
I don't wanna go.
2201
01:21:09,682 --> 01:21:11,882
Here's the deal, I'm
gonna flip this quarter.
2202
01:21:11,884 --> 01:21:12,716
One of you is heads,
one of you tails.
2203
01:21:12,718 --> 01:21:14,184
You know what?
2204
01:21:14,186 --> 01:21:15,719
You're gonna be heads,
you're gonna be tails.
2205
01:21:15,721 --> 01:21:17,488
And this fucking quarter
is gonna save your life.
2206
01:21:17,490 --> 01:21:18,656
You know why?
2207
01:21:18,658 --> 01:21:20,457
Because whoever comes with
me, doesn't get a fucking STD
2208
01:21:20,459 --> 01:21:22,593
and doesn't get knocked up
by this motherfucker, okay?
2209
01:21:22,595 --> 01:21:25,462
And you're gonna get a big
fucking bonus for the night.
2210
01:21:25,464 --> 01:21:28,332
A little extra tip for
coming with me, okay?
2211
01:21:28,334 --> 01:21:29,135
So here we go.
2212
01:21:31,737 --> 01:21:33,571
Oh, it's heads.
2213
01:21:33,573 --> 01:21:35,639
Looks like Bambi's
the big winner.
2214
01:21:35,641 --> 01:21:36,676
Let's go.
2215
01:21:38,678 --> 01:21:39,610
CAROLINE: Well,
you know what?
2216
01:21:39,612 --> 01:21:40,578
You better just call me back.
2217
01:21:40,580 --> 01:21:42,212
You got, you have two
minutes to call me back.
2218
01:21:42,214 --> 01:21:43,748
Two minutes.
2219
01:21:43,750 --> 01:21:44,883
Call me the fuck back.
2220
01:21:44,885 --> 01:21:46,383
Fuck you, Pat!
2221
01:21:46,385 --> 01:21:47,752
Call me back.
2222
01:21:47,754 --> 01:21:50,354
Why don't you, uh,
turn around here.
2223
01:21:50,356 --> 01:21:53,290
I got this thing I've been
wanting to always try.
2224
01:21:53,292 --> 01:21:54,661
Yeah, stay there.
2225
01:21:56,763 --> 01:21:57,796
Yeah, this is it.
2226
01:21:57,798 --> 01:21:58,699
This is it!
2227
01:22:17,283 --> 01:22:18,717
Don't turn around now,
2228
01:22:18,719 --> 01:22:20,454
I'm getting in the moment here.
2229
01:22:23,857 --> 01:22:24,691
Alright.
2230
01:22:25,692 --> 01:22:28,562
(JINX GROANING)
2231
01:22:35,235 --> 01:22:35,869
Ah, yeah.
2232
01:22:38,271 --> 01:22:39,671
Yeah, alright.
2233
01:22:39,673 --> 01:22:42,309
Oh, shit, I'm gonna fall over.
2234
01:22:43,343 --> 01:22:44,442
Now when I give you the sign,
2235
01:22:44,444 --> 01:22:46,211
- you turn around, okay?
- Okay.
2236
01:22:46,213 --> 01:22:48,880
Alright, but you
gotta wait for the sign.
2237
01:22:48,882 --> 01:22:50,682
Ready boy, here we go.
2238
01:22:50,684 --> 01:22:51,883
Alright.
2239
01:22:51,885 --> 01:22:54,454
(JINX HOWLS)
2240
01:23:00,827 --> 01:23:01,726
What do you think?
2241
01:23:01,728 --> 01:23:03,461
(JINX CHUCKLES)
2242
01:23:03,463 --> 01:23:05,298
You're ready, right?
2243
01:23:06,466 --> 01:23:07,768
I am so ready, come on.
2244
01:23:08,702 --> 01:23:10,404
Let's get this party started.
2245
01:23:12,506 --> 01:23:13,808
This is what I've
been waiting for.
2246
01:23:29,824 --> 01:23:30,723
I think that's good enough.
2247
01:23:30,725 --> 01:23:31,759
I'm worked up.
2248
01:23:33,593 --> 01:23:34,894
Oh, yeah.
2249
01:23:34,896 --> 01:23:36,428
Oh, yeah.
2250
01:23:36,430 --> 01:23:37,765
Suck that dick.
2251
01:23:39,667 --> 01:23:42,300
Why are your nipples so small?
2252
01:23:42,302 --> 01:23:44,704
Are you fucking
serious right now?
2253
01:23:44,706 --> 01:23:45,838
I don't fucking know.
2254
01:23:45,840 --> 01:23:47,873
I guess because my nipples
didn't go through puberty.
2255
01:23:47,875 --> 01:23:49,307
What do you want
me to do about it?
2256
01:23:49,309 --> 01:23:51,409
Fucking get a nipple
job or something?
2257
01:23:51,411 --> 01:23:53,378
Jesus Christ, just.
2258
01:23:53,380 --> 01:23:55,416
Focus on what you're
doing, let's go.
2259
01:23:56,651 --> 01:23:58,918
Just make sure you
use this and pull out.
2260
01:23:58,920 --> 01:24:00,822
Super paranoid about
getting pregnant, okay?
2261
01:24:02,990 --> 01:24:03,825
Okay.
2262
01:24:07,528 --> 01:24:08,362
Alright.
2263
01:24:09,664 --> 01:24:11,499
Oh, I'm opening it.
2264
01:24:14,902 --> 01:24:16,602
Can I take this off?
2265
01:24:16,604 --> 01:24:18,370
Sure.
2266
01:24:18,372 --> 01:24:19,273
Oh, yeah.
2267
01:24:26,714 --> 01:24:28,447
Alright, you ready?
2268
01:24:28,449 --> 01:24:29,348
Yeah.
2269
01:24:29,350 --> 01:24:30,583
I'm ready.
2270
01:24:30,585 --> 01:24:31,817
Okay.
2271
01:24:31,819 --> 01:24:34,020
- (GROANING)
- Okay.
2272
01:24:34,022 --> 01:24:35,321
Oh, yeah.
2273
01:24:35,323 --> 01:24:36,089
Oh yeah.
2274
01:24:36,091 --> 01:24:36,924
Oh.
2275
01:24:37,825 --> 01:24:38,860
Oh yeah.
2276
01:24:39,827 --> 01:24:41,662
BAMBI: Why did
you shave like that?
2277
01:24:43,831 --> 01:24:44,866
Really?
2278
01:24:46,400 --> 01:24:51,337
My pubic region looked even
worse than my face, okay?
2279
01:24:51,339 --> 01:24:53,339
So I thought you
might appreciate it
2280
01:24:53,341 --> 01:24:54,573
if I cleaned up a little bit
2281
01:24:54,575 --> 01:24:56,475
if something like
this was to happen.
2282
01:24:56,477 --> 01:24:57,944
And when I tried to shave it,
2283
01:24:57,946 --> 01:25:00,679
I fucked up so I had to
shave the whole thing.
2284
01:25:00,681 --> 01:25:01,580
Any more questions?
2285
01:25:01,582 --> 01:25:03,016
Are we good?
2286
01:25:03,018 --> 01:25:04,887
Alright, let's keep this going.
2287
01:25:05,754 --> 01:25:08,356
(JINX MOANING)
2288
01:25:09,858 --> 01:25:11,124
God, I can't believe
it's been 10 years
2289
01:25:11,126 --> 01:25:13,461
since I had a fucking
blowjob like this.
2290
01:25:15,697 --> 01:25:17,666
Oh, shit, look
at those titties.
2291
01:25:19,067 --> 01:25:19,902
Oh my God.
2292
01:25:20,969 --> 01:25:23,705
(JARRETT LAUGHS)
2293
01:25:31,613 --> 01:25:33,613
Oh yeah.
(LACIE MOANS)
2294
01:25:33,615 --> 01:25:34,681
- You gonna cum?
- Yeah.
2295
01:25:34,683 --> 01:25:35,916
- Yeah.
- Almost.
2296
01:25:35,918 --> 01:25:37,083
Okay.
2297
01:25:37,085 --> 01:25:38,084
Well, let's cum together.
2298
01:25:38,086 --> 01:25:39,019
- Okay.
- Alright?
2299
01:25:39,021 --> 01:25:40,520
I'm serious, pull out, though.
2300
01:25:40,522 --> 01:25:42,022
I know!
2301
01:25:42,024 --> 01:25:43,590
I'm next, we're gonna keep
it in the fucking family.
2302
01:25:43,592 --> 01:25:45,025
Oh, fuck yeah.
2303
01:25:45,027 --> 01:25:46,426
Oh, fuck yeah.
2304
01:25:46,428 --> 01:25:47,060
I'm gonna cum.
2305
01:25:47,062 --> 01:25:47,994
Okay, you ready?
2306
01:25:47,996 --> 01:25:49,029
- Yeah.
- Together.
2307
01:25:49,031 --> 01:25:50,897
Alright, here I cum.
2308
01:25:50,899 --> 01:25:53,669
(COUPLE MOANING)
2309
01:25:57,472 --> 01:25:58,104
Who's your daddy?
2310
01:25:58,106 --> 01:25:59,472
I'm your fucking daddy.
2311
01:25:59,474 --> 01:26:00,740
I'm your fucking daddy.
2312
01:26:00,742 --> 01:26:01,577
Oh my God.
2313
01:26:03,712 --> 01:26:06,615
(BIGFOOT SNARLING)
2314
01:26:10,619 --> 01:26:15,624
(BIGFOOT GROWLING)
(JARRETT SCREAMING)
2315
01:26:16,159 --> 01:26:18,927
(JARRETT WHIMPERING)
2316
01:26:28,037 --> 01:26:30,804
BAMBI: What was that?
2317
01:26:30,806 --> 01:26:33,007
- What was what?
- That sound.
2318
01:26:33,009 --> 01:26:35,109
I thought, I said
don't stop again.
2319
01:26:35,111 --> 01:26:38,045
We told you about the
Bigfoot actor, right?
2320
01:26:38,047 --> 01:26:40,014
That we hired a Bigfoot
actor to come out
2321
01:26:40,016 --> 01:26:42,719
and scare fucking Pat tonight
for his bachelor party?
2322
01:26:44,087 --> 01:26:46,854
It's just that actor
fucking around over there.
2323
01:26:46,856 --> 01:26:47,788
Just fucking with Pat.
2324
01:26:47,790 --> 01:26:48,956
Don't worry about it, okay?
2325
01:26:48,958 --> 01:26:50,425
Can we, can we just
2326
01:26:51,060 --> 01:26:52,927
get this done?
2327
01:26:52,929 --> 01:26:54,662
I paid you 600 bucks, okay?
2328
01:26:54,664 --> 01:26:56,099
You said you would swallow, so.
2329
01:26:57,499 --> 01:26:59,834
No more interruptions, I
don't care what happens,
2330
01:26:59,836 --> 01:27:03,070
what noises you hear,
no more questions.
2331
01:27:03,072 --> 01:27:05,573
You finish me off
and swallow, okay?
2332
01:27:05,575 --> 01:27:06,974
We good?
2333
01:27:06,976 --> 01:27:07,977
Awesome, let's do that.
2334
01:27:11,247 --> 01:27:14,183
(JARRETT WHIMPERS)
2335
01:27:23,960 --> 01:27:25,159
Fuck yeah.
2336
01:27:25,161 --> 01:27:27,094
Oh, that's so good.
2337
01:27:27,096 --> 01:27:30,767
(JINX MOANING AND GRUNTING)
2338
01:27:32,236 --> 01:27:34,502
(BIGFOOT SNARLING)
2339
01:27:34,504 --> 01:27:37,006
(JINX GRUNTS)
2340
01:27:38,141 --> 01:27:38,775
Yeah.
2341
01:27:40,210 --> 01:27:42,912
That's what I'm talkin' about.
2342
01:27:45,048 --> 01:27:50,054
(JINX SCREAMS)
(BIGFOOT GROWLS)
2343
01:27:58,561 --> 01:27:59,995
- Whoa!
- Your dick!
2344
01:27:59,997 --> 01:28:01,529
- Help me!
- It's gone!
2345
01:28:01,531 --> 01:28:03,265
Holy shit, you been Bobbited.
2346
01:28:03,267 --> 01:28:05,566
She bit my fucking
nut off, Vinny!
2347
01:28:05,568 --> 01:28:07,903
She bit my fucking nut off!
2348
01:28:07,905 --> 01:28:08,937
Alright, man.
2349
01:28:08,939 --> 01:28:11,106
We're gonna fix you up, hold on.
2350
01:28:11,108 --> 01:28:13,541
(JINX SCREAMING)
2351
01:28:13,543 --> 01:28:16,078
- Oh, fuck man.
- You killed my friend!
2352
01:28:16,080 --> 01:28:19,114
(BIGFOOT GROWLING)
2353
01:28:19,116 --> 01:28:20,882
- I got it, buddy.
- Oh, she bit,
2354
01:28:20,884 --> 01:28:21,917
my fucking God!
2355
01:28:21,919 --> 01:28:23,151
Help me, man!
2356
01:28:23,153 --> 01:28:25,988
Help me, man, she bit
my dick off, Vinny!
2357
01:28:25,990 --> 01:28:26,822
VINNY: I got it.
2358
01:28:26,824 --> 01:28:28,090
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
2359
01:28:28,092 --> 01:28:29,024
Hey, it's not the
fucking actor, man!
2360
01:28:29,026 --> 01:28:31,126
It's not the fucking
actor, it's a real one.
2361
01:28:31,128 --> 01:28:32,127
Oh my God!
2362
01:28:32,129 --> 01:28:33,195
Help me!
2363
01:28:33,197 --> 01:28:34,129
See, I got it!
2364
01:28:34,131 --> 01:28:35,130
- I got it!
- You got it!
2365
01:28:35,132 --> 01:28:36,164
Let's go, come on!
2366
01:28:36,166 --> 01:28:37,065
Let's fucking go!
2367
01:28:37,067 --> 01:28:39,001
Vinny, help!
2368
01:28:39,003 --> 01:28:41,672
(LACIE SCREAMS)
2369
01:28:42,606 --> 01:28:46,074
(BIGFOOT GROWLING)
2370
01:28:46,076 --> 01:28:48,746
(LACIE SCREAMS)
2371
01:28:53,817 --> 01:28:55,684
We'll fix you up, man.
2372
01:28:55,686 --> 01:28:56,918
(JINX SCREAMS)
2373
01:28:56,920 --> 01:28:57,921
Holy shit!
2374
01:28:59,089 --> 01:28:59,921
What?
2375
01:28:59,923 --> 01:29:02,157
- Oh, shit.
- It's a fucking bear trap!
2376
01:29:02,159 --> 01:29:03,959
Oh, it's a bear trap.
2377
01:29:03,961 --> 01:29:05,894
It's exactly what the park
ranger was telling us about!
2378
01:29:05,896 --> 01:29:06,962
What?
2379
01:29:06,964 --> 01:29:08,096
- Oh, oh, get it off!
- Oh god!
2380
01:29:08,098 --> 01:29:09,731
Where am I gonna put this down?
2381
01:29:09,733 --> 01:29:11,367
- Get it off!
- Yes, I know.
2382
01:29:11,369 --> 01:29:12,200
(JINX GRUNTS)
2383
01:29:12,202 --> 01:29:13,369
One, two, three!
2384
01:29:13,371 --> 01:29:14,669
(JINX SCREAMS)
2385
01:29:14,671 --> 01:29:16,705
Pull it, fucking do it!
2386
01:29:16,707 --> 01:29:18,174
(JINX SCREAMS)
2387
01:29:18,176 --> 01:29:19,074
Oh!
2388
01:29:19,076 --> 01:29:20,176
Shit, we fucking pulled
my hand off, man.
2389
01:29:20,178 --> 01:29:21,910
Oh, shit!
2390
01:29:21,912 --> 01:29:23,612
(JINX AND VINNY SCREAM)
2391
01:29:23,614 --> 01:29:25,082
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, fuck!
2392
01:29:26,217 --> 01:29:28,786
(JINX SCREAMS)
2393
01:29:30,155 --> 01:29:31,087
We pulled it off, man.
2394
01:29:31,089 --> 01:29:33,291
We pulled my fucking hand off!
2395
01:29:34,225 --> 01:29:35,824
- Shit, man.
- Oh my God.
2396
01:29:35,826 --> 01:29:37,826
Just fuckin' leave me, man.
2397
01:29:37,828 --> 01:29:39,062
Just fuckin' leave me, bro.
2398
01:29:39,064 --> 01:29:40,329
We're gonna fix you,
we're gonna fix you
2399
01:29:40,331 --> 01:29:41,931
- and then we can go.
- Just leave me, dude.
2400
01:29:41,933 --> 01:29:42,864
Come on!
2401
01:29:42,866 --> 01:29:44,067
I fucking ain't got no arm
2402
01:29:44,069 --> 01:29:45,834
and I got no hand
and oh, my dick, man.
2403
01:29:45,836 --> 01:29:47,203
It's fucking over.
2404
01:29:47,205 --> 01:29:49,005
I'm not gonna leave
you, man, come on.
2405
01:29:49,007 --> 01:29:51,174
- Come on.
- It's over, bro.
2406
01:29:51,176 --> 01:29:53,642
Man, we gotta
do Switchblade 5.
2407
01:29:53,644 --> 01:29:55,278
- Remember that!
- I can't, man.
2408
01:29:55,280 --> 01:29:56,112
I got you a lead
role in that this time.
2409
01:29:56,114 --> 01:29:57,113
I can't do it, man.
2410
01:29:57,115 --> 01:29:59,115
Dude, we gotta do it.
2411
01:29:59,117 --> 01:30:00,349
We could fix you!
2412
01:30:00,351 --> 01:30:01,683
Man, I'm fucked up bad, man.
2413
01:30:01,685 --> 01:30:04,120
That Bigfoot actor I hired,
2414
01:30:04,122 --> 01:30:05,121
I thought that was him but that
2415
01:30:05,123 --> 01:30:07,256
was a real fuckin' Bigfoot, man.
2416
01:30:07,258 --> 01:30:09,058
He was fuckin' a real one, dude.
2417
01:30:09,060 --> 01:30:10,860
He fuckin' knocked that fucking
2418
01:30:10,862 --> 01:30:14,030
Bambi's head right off
with my cock in it, bro.
2419
01:30:14,032 --> 01:30:15,131
I'm telling you, man.
2420
01:30:15,133 --> 01:30:17,400
I fucked up, man, the actor
fucking was supposed to,
2421
01:30:17,402 --> 01:30:18,835
the actor Bigfoot he
was supposed to go
2422
01:30:18,837 --> 01:30:21,337
and fuck up all
the vehicles, bro.
2423
01:30:21,339 --> 01:30:24,273
He's supposed to fuck up
all of our cellphones, dude.
2424
01:30:24,275 --> 01:30:25,708
Oh my God, man.
2425
01:30:25,710 --> 01:30:26,442
He's supposed to
fuck up everything.
2426
01:30:26,444 --> 01:30:28,146
There's no fucking way out, man.
2427
01:30:29,147 --> 01:30:30,279
There's no way out.
2428
01:30:30,281 --> 01:30:31,080
I'm gonna bleed out, man.
2429
01:30:31,082 --> 01:30:32,315
I got no hand, no dick,
2430
01:30:32,317 --> 01:30:33,450
I can't even fucking
jack off anymore!
2431
01:30:33,452 --> 01:30:34,684
What'll I do?
2432
01:30:34,686 --> 01:30:35,818
We'll make it work, okay?
2433
01:30:35,820 --> 01:30:37,421
Let's get out of here, alright?
2434
01:30:37,423 --> 01:30:38,254
Okay?
2435
01:30:38,256 --> 01:30:40,156
- Just go, man.
- No!
2436
01:30:40,158 --> 01:30:43,329
Just get to the,
gotta get to the.
2437
01:30:45,230 --> 01:30:46,195
Jinx!
2438
01:30:46,197 --> 01:30:47,830
Jinx!
2439
01:30:47,832 --> 01:30:48,867
Come on, bro!
2440
01:30:53,938 --> 01:30:57,106
(VINNY SOBBING)
2441
01:30:57,108 --> 01:30:58,308
We're gonna make it work.
2442
01:30:58,310 --> 01:30:59,142
We're gonna make it work.
2443
01:30:59,144 --> 01:31:01,311
Get your fucking
cock and your hand.
2444
01:31:01,313 --> 01:31:02,412
We're gonna fix you, brother.
2445
01:31:02,414 --> 01:31:03,713
Alright?
2446
01:31:03,715 --> 01:31:05,249
We're gonna do
Switchblade 5, alright?
2447
01:31:05,251 --> 01:31:06,283
I promise you!
2448
01:31:06,285 --> 01:31:07,117
You're the lead!
2449
01:31:07,119 --> 01:31:07,984
We're gonna do it!
2450
01:31:07,986 --> 01:31:09,353
Oh God, man.
2451
01:31:09,355 --> 01:31:12,755
(INTENSE MUSIC)
2452
01:31:12,757 --> 01:31:13,423
Dude, wake up!
2453
01:31:13,425 --> 01:31:14,491
- Wake up!
- What?
2454
01:31:14,493 --> 01:31:15,325
- Wake up!
- What?
2455
01:31:15,327 --> 01:31:16,360
What the fuck?
2456
01:31:16,362 --> 01:31:17,294
What?
2457
01:31:17,296 --> 01:31:18,028
Where, what, what's going?
2458
01:31:18,030 --> 01:31:18,861
What the fuck?
2459
01:31:18,863 --> 01:31:19,729
Hey, wake up!
2460
01:31:19,731 --> 01:31:20,798
Wake up, man!
2461
01:31:21,967 --> 01:31:22,800
Is that?
2462
01:31:23,768 --> 01:31:25,235
Vinny, why do you have
a dick in your hand?
2463
01:31:25,237 --> 01:31:26,937
Why is there a dick
and hand in your hands?
2464
01:31:26,939 --> 01:31:28,205
Dude, I was getting laid, man.
2465
01:31:28,207 --> 01:31:29,940
Jinx was getting his
fucking dick sucked
2466
01:31:29,942 --> 01:31:31,842
but the fuckin' Bigfoot
was a real Bigfoot.
2467
01:31:31,844 --> 01:31:34,244
Not the fucking actor
that he fuckin' hired.
2468
01:31:34,246 --> 01:31:36,380
Bigfoot came and killed
both fuckin' strippers.
2469
01:31:36,382 --> 01:31:38,115
Knocked one of their
fuckin' heads off.
2470
01:31:38,117 --> 01:31:40,017
Fuckin' Jinx's junk
was in her fuckin'...
2471
01:31:40,019 --> 01:31:41,084
Oh!
2472
01:31:41,086 --> 01:31:43,453
And then Jinx passed
out, so I went over to him
2473
01:31:43,455 --> 01:31:44,955
and he said something to me
2474
01:31:44,957 --> 01:31:46,056
and we gotta go to a fucking,
2475
01:31:46,058 --> 01:31:49,226
we gotta go to the van, but
he said the fucking car,
2476
01:31:49,228 --> 01:31:52,462
all the phones are
gone and the Bigfoot
2477
01:31:52,464 --> 01:31:55,399
fucking actor fucked
all the cars up, man.
2478
01:31:55,401 --> 01:31:56,233
Do you know what I'm sayin'?
2479
01:31:56,235 --> 01:31:57,467
- No!
- What?
2480
01:31:57,469 --> 01:31:59,403
Dude, you're not
making any fucking sense!
2481
01:31:59,405 --> 01:32:00,904
Wait, okay, okay,
okay, first of all,
2482
01:32:00,906 --> 01:32:01,838
are you high?
2483
01:32:01,840 --> 01:32:02,839
Are you on drugs right now?
2484
01:32:02,841 --> 01:32:04,341
No!
2485
01:32:04,343 --> 01:32:06,009
We gotta find the phones,
we're gonna find the phones.
2486
01:32:06,011 --> 01:32:07,277
He said something that.
2487
01:32:07,279 --> 01:32:09,279
We gotta, we gotta get
something in the van.
2488
01:32:09,281 --> 01:32:10,481
What?
2489
01:32:10,483 --> 01:32:11,949
There's, uh, Chad
smashed all the phones!
2490
01:32:11,951 --> 01:32:13,418
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah, they're in his
2491
01:32:13,420 --> 01:32:15,319
fucking tent right now,
they're in a million pieces.
2492
01:32:15,321 --> 01:32:16,387
Oh, God.
2493
01:32:16,389 --> 01:32:17,354
All of 'em?
2494
01:32:17,356 --> 01:32:18,391
Yes!
2495
01:32:19,392 --> 01:32:20,525
What are we gonna do, man?
2496
01:32:20,527 --> 01:32:21,959
Oh, fuck.
2497
01:32:21,961 --> 01:32:23,827
Oh, dude, what'd you
guys give me, man?
2498
01:32:23,829 --> 01:32:25,028
Dude, don't worry, man.
2499
01:32:25,030 --> 01:32:26,063
We just gave you
fuckin' pot brownies
2500
01:32:26,065 --> 01:32:28,266
and some beer so you
could chill the fuck out.
2501
01:32:28,268 --> 01:32:29,367
Now listen to me, listen!
2502
01:32:29,369 --> 01:32:31,336
It's just you and me.
2503
01:32:31,338 --> 01:32:34,004
We gotta get outta here
before that thing gets here.
2504
01:32:34,006 --> 01:32:35,138
- Yeah, let's go!
- So we gotta go now.
2505
01:32:35,140 --> 01:32:36,106
- Now!
- Now!
2506
01:32:36,108 --> 01:32:37,342
- Let's go!
- Alright!
2507
01:32:37,344 --> 01:32:38,041
I gotta put this
shit on ice, man.
2508
01:32:38,043 --> 01:32:39,310
We gotta go!
2509
01:32:39,312 --> 01:32:40,877
VINNY: I gotta
put this on ice.
2510
01:32:40,879 --> 01:32:42,380
Okay, what are you doing?
2511
01:32:42,382 --> 01:32:43,548
- I gotta wash my hands.
- Come on, man!
2512
01:32:43,550 --> 01:32:44,948
I gotta wash my hands!
2513
01:32:44,950 --> 01:32:46,184
I'll be right there.
2514
01:32:46,186 --> 01:32:47,019
Ah!
2515
01:32:49,289 --> 01:32:50,355
(PAT YELLING IN THE DISTANCE)
2516
01:32:50,357 --> 01:32:51,556
- Oh, fuck!
- Where are you going?
2517
01:32:51,558 --> 01:32:52,925
The lantern!
2518
01:32:54,394 --> 01:32:55,326
Oh, there!
2519
01:32:55,328 --> 01:32:56,561
(VINNY YELLING)
2520
01:32:56,563 --> 01:32:58,096
Come on!
2521
01:32:58,098 --> 01:32:59,130
Jinx!
2522
01:32:59,132 --> 01:32:59,998
We're comin', baby!
2523
01:33:00,000 --> 01:33:01,032
Jinx!
2524
01:33:01,034 --> 01:33:02,000
- Where is he?
- Oh, shit.
2525
01:33:02,002 --> 01:33:02,833
Where is he?
2526
01:33:02,835 --> 01:33:03,470
Oh my God.
2527
01:33:05,138 --> 01:33:05,972
Is he dead?
2528
01:33:07,307 --> 01:33:08,106
Oh, shit, Jinx.
2529
01:33:08,108 --> 01:33:09,073
Oh, God.
2530
01:33:09,075 --> 01:33:10,074
- Ooh, God.
- What?
2531
01:33:10,076 --> 01:33:10,541
- Yeah, he's dead, man.
- What?
2532
01:33:10,543 --> 01:33:11,978
That's gross.
2533
01:33:12,946 --> 01:33:14,479
Jinx.
2534
01:33:14,481 --> 01:33:15,413
Oh, fuck, what do we?
2535
01:33:15,415 --> 01:33:17,350
Vinny, what do we do now?
2536
01:33:21,354 --> 01:33:24,022
I told him this was
a bad idea, man.
2537
01:33:24,024 --> 01:33:25,990
We'll have to kill him
off for Switchblade 5.
2538
01:33:25,992 --> 01:33:26,626
What?
2539
01:33:28,862 --> 01:33:30,463
I had a big part for you, bro.
2540
01:33:31,498 --> 01:33:33,298
I was gonna give it to you.
2541
01:33:33,300 --> 01:33:34,432
Give you the fuckin' lead.
2542
01:33:34,434 --> 01:33:36,567
What are you talking about?
2543
01:33:36,569 --> 01:33:38,104
Our movie, Switchblade 5.
2544
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:39,937
Have you not seen it?
2545
01:33:39,939 --> 01:33:40,940
You're in a movie?
2546
01:33:42,108 --> 01:33:43,141
What kind of friend are you?
2547
01:33:43,143 --> 01:33:44,409
Wait, did you?
2548
01:33:44,411 --> 01:33:46,346
Did you say Switchblade 5?
2549
01:33:47,447 --> 01:33:49,215
I haven't seen
four of his movies?
2550
01:33:51,418 --> 01:33:53,353
Man, I'm sorry, Jinx.
2551
01:33:55,055 --> 01:33:56,321
It's right here.
2552
01:33:56,323 --> 01:33:57,656
(ZIPPER HISSING)
2553
01:33:57,658 --> 01:33:59,057
What are you doing?
2554
01:33:59,059 --> 01:34:00,325
Taking a piss.
2555
01:34:00,327 --> 01:34:01,259
Haven't you heard
anything I've said?
2556
01:34:01,261 --> 01:34:03,294
I don't give a shit, man.
2557
01:34:03,296 --> 01:34:07,633
Pissing all over your fuckin'
trees, fuckin' Sasquatch!
2558
01:34:07,635 --> 01:34:09,934
Fuckin' skunk-ape!
2559
01:34:09,936 --> 01:34:12,970
Fuckin' Harry and the
Andersons bullshit.
2560
01:34:12,972 --> 01:34:15,507
Oh, man.
(BIGFOOT ROARING)
2561
01:34:15,509 --> 01:34:17,008
What?
2562
01:34:17,010 --> 01:34:20,414
(BIGFOOT ROARING LOUDER)
2563
01:34:21,415 --> 01:34:22,548
He's coming back.
2564
01:34:22,550 --> 01:34:23,482
We gotta get to the van, man.
2565
01:34:23,484 --> 01:34:24,516
- Let's get it.
- Go, go!
2566
01:34:24,518 --> 01:34:26,052
Sorry, Jinx, ew.
2567
01:34:28,322 --> 01:34:30,489
Hope the van is
still around here.
2568
01:34:30,491 --> 01:34:31,423
Where are we going?
2569
01:34:31,425 --> 01:34:34,093
(BIGFOOT GROWLS)
2570
01:34:34,095 --> 01:34:35,394
Oh shit, (MUMBLES).
2571
01:34:35,396 --> 01:34:37,396
Do you remember
where that van's at?
2572
01:34:37,398 --> 01:34:38,332
What van?
2573
01:34:40,101 --> 01:34:41,333
The van.
2574
01:34:41,335 --> 01:34:43,102
What, the van
you brought me in?
2575
01:34:43,104 --> 01:34:44,103
Yeah.
2576
01:34:44,105 --> 01:34:45,106
When I had the
hood on my head?
2577
01:34:46,440 --> 01:34:47,940
Oh, yeah.
2578
01:34:47,942 --> 01:34:49,041
Fuck, we're fucked.
2579
01:34:49,043 --> 01:34:49,942
Shh!
2580
01:34:49,944 --> 01:34:51,443
(BIGFOOT GROWLING)
2581
01:34:51,445 --> 01:34:52,311
- Go, we should go.
- Yeah, let's go.
2582
01:34:52,313 --> 01:34:54,513
- Come on, we gotta find it.
- Go, go!
2583
01:34:54,515 --> 01:34:56,715
(BIGFOOT ROARING)
2584
01:34:56,717 --> 01:34:58,450
- Oh, go, man!
- Come on, come on.
2585
01:34:58,452 --> 01:35:00,187
- Go!
- Yeah, I know!
2586
01:35:01,288 --> 01:35:02,154
(BIGFOOT GROWLING LOUDER)
2587
01:35:02,156 --> 01:35:03,188
I think it's this way!
2588
01:35:03,190 --> 01:35:05,157
- Go.
- I'm runnin', man!
2589
01:35:05,159 --> 01:35:07,426
(MUFFLED YELLING)
2590
01:35:07,428 --> 01:35:09,495
(BIGFOOT CONTINUES TO GROWL)
2591
01:35:09,497 --> 01:35:10,697
Oh, God.
2592
01:35:10,699 --> 01:35:12,900
Come on, get up and run!
2593
01:35:16,404 --> 01:35:17,269
Okay.
2594
01:35:17,271 --> 01:35:19,606
- Go on the other...
- Tires, get down.
2595
01:35:19,608 --> 01:35:22,074
Oh, this tire's flat!
2596
01:35:22,076 --> 01:35:23,475
Is that one flat, too?
2597
01:35:23,477 --> 01:35:24,476
Yes, fuck!
2598
01:35:24,478 --> 01:35:26,211
This is all your fuckin' fault!
2599
01:35:26,213 --> 01:35:27,614
- My fault?
- Yes, your fault.
2600
01:35:27,616 --> 01:35:28,548
You took a piss.
2601
01:35:28,550 --> 01:35:29,482
I told you not to take a piss!
2602
01:35:29,484 --> 01:35:30,416
He's got your fuckin' scent.
2603
01:35:30,418 --> 01:35:31,216
Don't worry about that, man.
2604
01:35:31,218 --> 01:35:31,984
That's all a myth.
2605
01:35:31,986 --> 01:35:32,685
A myth?
2606
01:35:32,687 --> 01:35:34,319
It's not a fuckin' myth.
2607
01:35:34,321 --> 01:35:35,254
That thing is not gonna stop
2608
01:35:35,256 --> 01:35:36,456
until it fuckin' finds you, man.
2609
01:35:36,458 --> 01:35:37,757
Hey, we got this
under control.
2610
01:35:37,759 --> 01:35:38,591
Oh, do we?
2611
01:35:38,593 --> 01:35:40,025
Do we really?
2612
01:35:40,027 --> 01:35:40,627
I'll tell you
one thing, though.
2613
01:35:40,629 --> 01:35:43,061
Just like Switchblade 3.
2614
01:35:43,063 --> 01:35:44,764
I drove a van just like
this with no tires,
2615
01:35:44,766 --> 01:35:46,433
I'll get us out of
here in no time.
2616
01:35:46,435 --> 01:35:47,734
Shut up, shut up!
2617
01:35:47,736 --> 01:35:49,302
This isn't a fuckin' movie!
2618
01:35:49,304 --> 01:35:50,503
This is real life
and that thing's
2619
01:35:50,505 --> 01:35:52,607
is gonna fucking kill us!
2620
01:35:55,677 --> 01:35:56,944
Don't, don't!
2621
01:35:58,145 --> 01:36:02,315
(BIGFOOT RUMBLING SOFTLY)
2622
01:36:02,317 --> 01:36:03,251
He's there?
2623
01:36:06,020 --> 01:36:09,389
(BIGFOOT SNARLING)
2624
01:36:09,391 --> 01:36:10,423
Oh, fuck, it's coming.
2625
01:36:10,425 --> 01:36:12,659
- What?
- It's coming, go, go.
2626
01:36:12,661 --> 01:36:13,660
Get in the van.
2627
01:36:13,662 --> 01:36:14,496
Get in!
2628
01:36:17,566 --> 01:36:21,468
(JINX YELLS)
(VAN DOORS CLICK SHUT)
2629
01:36:21,470 --> 01:36:22,671
- Got the keys?
- Yeah.
2630
01:36:24,606 --> 01:36:27,175
Key, where's the fuckin' key?
2631
01:36:29,177 --> 01:36:30,412
Where's the fuckin' keys?
2632
01:36:31,446 --> 01:36:32,612
Damn, fuck!
2633
01:36:32,614 --> 01:36:35,148
- He fuckin' took the key.
- Who?
2634
01:36:35,150 --> 01:36:36,716
The fuckin' Bigfoot actor guy
2635
01:36:36,718 --> 01:36:38,685
that we fuckin' hired for this.
2636
01:36:38,687 --> 01:36:40,186
He messed up all the cars,
2637
01:36:40,188 --> 01:36:41,521
now he took the fuckin' keys.
2638
01:36:41,523 --> 01:36:44,090
- Fuck!
- Son of a bitch.
2639
01:36:44,092 --> 01:36:45,193
- Betsy!
- What?
2640
01:36:46,094 --> 01:36:47,660
Oh, yes!
2641
01:36:47,662 --> 01:36:48,698
Oh!
2642
01:36:50,599 --> 01:36:51,431
That's what he
was talking about.
2643
01:36:51,433 --> 01:36:53,132
- Who?
- Jinx!
2644
01:36:53,134 --> 01:36:54,702
That's why he wanted
us to come to the van.
2645
01:36:54,704 --> 01:36:56,369
- To get the gun.
- Yes, yeah!
2646
01:36:56,371 --> 01:36:57,305
- Oh.
- Shh.
2647
01:36:59,140 --> 01:37:00,674
I think he's still
here, get down.
2648
01:37:00,676 --> 01:37:01,609
- Get down.
- Oh, dude.
2649
01:37:01,611 --> 01:37:02,643
PAT: Oh, God, holy shit.
2650
01:37:02,645 --> 01:37:03,611
Look at that.
2651
01:37:03,613 --> 01:37:05,646
That's the real one, right.
2652
01:37:05,648 --> 01:37:07,447
Oh, fuck, we're gonna die.
2653
01:37:07,449 --> 01:37:08,584
We're gonna die.
2654
01:37:10,185 --> 01:37:12,653
(SQUEAKING ON GLASS)
Where'd he go?
2655
01:37:12,655 --> 01:37:13,654
Is it gone?
2656
01:37:13,656 --> 01:37:15,823
I hope it's gone.
2657
01:37:15,825 --> 01:37:17,092
Fuck, okay.
2658
01:37:18,326 --> 01:37:21,162
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
2659
01:37:22,798 --> 01:37:23,631
- Think he's gone?
- Is he gone?
2660
01:37:23,633 --> 01:37:24,667
Shh.
2661
01:37:27,670 --> 01:37:32,239
He's not gone!
(Pat and Vinny scream
2662
01:37:32,241 --> 01:37:32,873
Go away!
2663
01:37:32,875 --> 01:37:33,807
Oh, God!
2664
01:37:33,809 --> 01:37:35,174
- Oh, shit!
- Vinny!
2665
01:37:35,176 --> 01:37:35,809
Where is he?
2666
01:37:35,811 --> 01:37:36,644
Where is he?
2667
01:37:36,646 --> 01:37:39,513
(MEN SCREAMS OVERLAP)
2668
01:37:39,515 --> 01:37:40,848
Pat?
2669
01:37:40,850 --> 01:37:42,883
Pat!
2670
01:37:42,885 --> 01:37:45,619
Patrick Anthony Taylor!
2671
01:37:45,621 --> 01:37:46,656
Patrick?
2672
01:37:48,257 --> 01:37:49,290
Hello?
2673
01:37:49,292 --> 01:37:50,126
Patrick!
2674
01:37:53,162 --> 01:37:54,263
What the hell is that?
2675
01:37:55,731 --> 01:37:56,897
What?
2676
01:37:56,899 --> 01:37:59,769
(INTENSE MUSIC)
2677
01:38:03,139 --> 01:38:04,605
Oh nice, you broke your phone.
2678
01:38:04,607 --> 01:38:06,309
Still found you, motherfucker.
2679
01:38:07,777 --> 01:38:09,510
What is this?
2680
01:38:09,512 --> 01:38:10,346
Huh?
2681
01:38:11,280 --> 01:38:12,613
(CAROLINE GASPS)
2682
01:38:12,615 --> 01:38:13,449
Beer!
2683
01:38:14,317 --> 01:38:15,151
Patrick!
2684
01:38:16,019 --> 01:38:18,654
Jinx, you lying
motherfucker, I knew it!
2685
01:38:20,323 --> 01:38:21,890
What is this?
2686
01:38:21,892 --> 01:38:23,691
Oh, that's cute.
2687
01:38:23,693 --> 01:38:24,658
(CAROLINE LAUGHS)
2688
01:38:24,660 --> 01:38:25,894
That's cute, guys.
2689
01:38:25,896 --> 01:38:28,697
Nice little Halloween
party, adorable.
2690
01:38:28,699 --> 01:38:29,764
Great.
2691
01:38:29,766 --> 01:38:30,600
What?
2692
01:38:31,534 --> 01:38:32,901
What?
2693
01:38:32,903 --> 01:38:35,804
Is this your little
bromance souvenir?
2694
01:38:35,806 --> 01:38:38,472
That's great, that's
oh my god, it's real!
2695
01:38:38,474 --> 01:38:39,808
No!
2696
01:38:39,810 --> 01:38:40,642
Oh my God!
2697
01:38:40,644 --> 01:38:41,910
Oh my God, oh my God!
2698
01:38:41,912 --> 01:38:43,377
DISPATCHER: 9-1-1,
what's your emergency?
2699
01:38:43,379 --> 01:38:44,613
Yes, hello, I'm
in Cherokee Creek
2700
01:38:44,615 --> 01:38:47,348
and there's a fucking cooler
with a hand and a penis in it.
2701
01:38:47,350 --> 01:38:48,583
And there's beer in it!
2702
01:38:48,585 --> 01:38:49,918
And my boyfriend
was supposed to be
2703
01:38:49,920 --> 01:38:51,720
at the bachelor party,
I can't find him
2704
01:38:51,722 --> 01:38:53,287
or his friends anywhere.
2705
01:38:53,289 --> 01:38:55,189
Please, you gotta
get here quick!
2706
01:38:55,191 --> 01:38:56,256
Cherokee Creek!
2707
01:38:56,258 --> 01:38:57,559
Get here quick!
2708
01:38:57,561 --> 01:38:58,395
Oh, God.
2709
01:38:59,663 --> 01:39:00,795
Patrick!
2710
01:39:00,797 --> 01:39:01,830
Patrick!
2711
01:39:01,832 --> 01:39:02,831
Jinx!
2712
01:39:02,833 --> 01:39:03,832
Patrick!
2713
01:39:03,834 --> 01:39:05,400
Where are you?
2714
01:39:05,402 --> 01:39:06,635
Patrick?
2715
01:39:06,637 --> 01:39:07,669
Patrick!
2716
01:39:07,671 --> 01:39:08,937
Patrick!
2717
01:39:08,939 --> 01:39:09,804
Patrick!
2718
01:39:09,806 --> 01:39:11,406
Where is it?
2719
01:39:11,408 --> 01:39:12,843
What is it doing?
2720
01:39:15,679 --> 01:39:17,445
- You okay?
- Yeah.
2721
01:39:17,447 --> 01:39:19,714
- Yeah.
- I'm alright.
2722
01:39:19,716 --> 01:39:21,983
- It's okay.
- I'm alright.
2723
01:39:21,985 --> 01:39:22,817
I mean it just come and play...
2724
01:39:22,819 --> 01:39:23,818
Yeah, we're alright.
2725
01:39:23,820 --> 01:39:24,886
- We're alright.
- We're good.
2726
01:39:24,888 --> 01:39:25,720
We're good.
2727
01:39:25,722 --> 01:39:27,989
(PAT LAUGHS)
2728
01:39:27,991 --> 01:39:30,727
(BIGFOOT GROWLS)
2729
01:39:35,499 --> 01:39:37,265
Do you see it?
2730
01:39:37,267 --> 01:39:38,435
No, come on.
2731
01:39:39,836 --> 01:39:43,271
(INTENSE MUSIC)
2732
01:39:43,273 --> 01:39:43,905
(CAR DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
2733
01:39:43,907 --> 01:39:44,741
Shh!
2734
01:39:47,310 --> 01:39:48,578
Okay, let's go.
2735
01:39:49,579 --> 01:39:50,779
What the fuck?
2736
01:39:50,781 --> 01:39:52,480
Oh, come on!
2737
01:39:52,482 --> 01:39:53,715
- Of course.
- Fuck!
2738
01:39:53,717 --> 01:39:54,783
Fucking tires are flat.
2739
01:39:54,785 --> 01:39:55,617
Shh.
2740
01:39:55,619 --> 01:39:56,687
Alright, locked?
2741
01:39:57,754 --> 01:39:59,287
It's locked.
2742
01:39:59,289 --> 01:40:00,190
Maybe this side.
2743
01:40:03,260 --> 01:40:03,895
Fuck.
2744
01:40:04,896 --> 01:40:05,928
Locked, God damn it.
2745
01:40:05,930 --> 01:40:07,765
Hey, man, these aren't flat.
2746
01:40:09,499 --> 01:40:10,802
Hey, check the other side.
2747
01:40:13,871 --> 01:40:15,437
- No.
- Really?
2748
01:40:15,439 --> 01:40:16,605
- Uh huh.
- Fuckin' hot.
2749
01:40:16,607 --> 01:40:17,773
- Ah!
- Shit.
2750
01:40:17,775 --> 01:40:18,974
- Of course.
- Keys.
2751
01:40:18,976 --> 01:40:19,809
We need keys.
2752
01:40:19,811 --> 01:40:20,845
Whose car is this?
2753
01:40:21,913 --> 01:40:23,946
Oh, I bet it's
the stripper's car!
2754
01:40:23,948 --> 01:40:24,947
Oh, yeah.
2755
01:40:24,949 --> 01:40:25,881
Uh, Brick!
2756
01:40:25,883 --> 01:40:26,816
Brick probably has the keys!
2757
01:40:26,818 --> 01:40:27,683
Brick?
2758
01:40:27,685 --> 01:40:29,652
Uh, yeah, you know
like the bouncer.
2759
01:40:29,654 --> 01:40:30,619
- Oh.
- Come on.
2760
01:40:30,621 --> 01:40:32,557
Let's go check on that.
2761
01:40:34,992 --> 01:40:37,862
(INTENSE MUSIC)
2762
01:40:41,632 --> 01:40:44,435
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
2763
01:40:48,539 --> 01:40:49,772
What the fuck is that?
2764
01:40:49,774 --> 01:40:51,275
It's the tree.
2765
01:40:54,512 --> 01:40:55,813
Past the tree.
2766
01:40:56,714 --> 01:40:57,546
What is that?
2767
01:40:57,548 --> 01:40:58,850
Shh, get down.
2768
01:41:01,786 --> 01:41:03,719
That's, oh my God.
2769
01:41:03,721 --> 01:41:06,522
- Is that him?
- I don't fucking know.
2770
01:41:06,524 --> 01:41:07,456
What do you mean you
don't fucking know?
2771
01:41:07,458 --> 01:41:08,591
You're the fuckin' expert.
2772
01:41:08,593 --> 01:41:10,060
Dude, there's a real one,
there's a fuckin' fake one.
2773
01:41:10,062 --> 01:41:12,363
How am I supposed to
know the difference?
2774
01:41:13,397 --> 01:41:14,665
Well, fuckin' shoot it.
2775
01:41:15,533 --> 01:41:16,365
You got the gun.
2776
01:41:16,367 --> 01:41:17,033
You shoot it.
2777
01:41:17,035 --> 01:41:17,869
Here.
2778
01:41:20,438 --> 01:41:21,537
I never shot one before.
2779
01:41:21,539 --> 01:41:22,905
You fuckin' kidding me?
2780
01:41:22,907 --> 01:41:24,975
You're in all those
action movies.
2781
01:41:24,977 --> 01:41:26,778
Yeah, but I gotta use a knife.
2782
01:41:28,046 --> 01:41:29,478
Okay.
2783
01:41:29,480 --> 01:41:30,881
Just fucking
shoot it, come on.
2784
01:41:30,883 --> 01:41:32,115
Let's get the fuck outta here.
2785
01:41:32,117 --> 01:41:33,049
Come on, man, I'm
still pretty fucked up
2786
01:41:33,051 --> 01:41:34,485
off that thing you gave me.
2787
01:41:35,586 --> 01:41:37,720
I don't like it,
man, I don't like it.
2788
01:41:37,722 --> 01:41:39,823
Let's just, let's
just find the keys.
2789
01:41:39,825 --> 01:41:40,957
Let's find the
dude that's got 'em
2790
01:41:40,959 --> 01:41:42,893
and get the fuck outta here.
2791
01:41:42,895 --> 01:41:43,927
Cause what if I miss?
2792
01:41:43,929 --> 01:41:45,394
I just piss it off.
2793
01:41:45,396 --> 01:41:46,830
- Alright, alright.
- Yeah.
2794
01:41:46,832 --> 01:41:48,664
Just wait till, just
wait till it leaves.
2795
01:41:48,666 --> 01:41:49,467
Okay.
2796
01:41:51,036 --> 01:41:52,368
- There it goes.
- There it goes.
2797
01:41:52,370 --> 01:41:53,435
There it goes.
2798
01:41:53,437 --> 01:41:53,906
- Hey, let's go that way.
- Alright.
2799
01:41:55,406 --> 01:41:56,008
Go, go.
2800
01:42:05,117 --> 01:42:06,082
What the fuck?
2801
01:42:06,084 --> 01:42:07,483
Get the fuck...
2802
01:42:07,485 --> 01:42:08,952
oh, oh, it's Brick!
2803
01:42:08,954 --> 01:42:10,086
Hey, oh, fuckin'.
2804
01:42:10,088 --> 01:42:11,021
Oh, Jesus.
2805
01:42:11,023 --> 01:42:13,723
- Oh, God.
- Oh, shit.
2806
01:42:13,725 --> 01:42:14,591
Fuck!
2807
01:42:14,593 --> 01:42:15,725
Check him for keys.
2808
01:42:15,727 --> 01:42:16,562
Keys.
2809
01:42:21,967 --> 01:42:23,001
Look.
2810
01:42:23,936 --> 01:42:24,901
Man, there's nothing.
2811
01:42:24,903 --> 01:42:26,036
Fuck!
2812
01:42:26,038 --> 01:42:27,070
Um.
2813
01:42:27,072 --> 01:42:28,004
The strippers.
2814
01:42:28,006 --> 01:42:29,172
The strippers gotta have 'em.
2815
01:42:29,174 --> 01:42:30,774
I know where
they're at, come on.
2816
01:42:30,776 --> 01:42:31,610
Come on.
2817
01:42:33,612 --> 01:42:34,578
There they are.
2818
01:42:34,580 --> 01:42:35,679
- Oh, yes.
- Oh my God.
2819
01:42:35,681 --> 01:42:36,513
They gotta have it, man.
2820
01:42:36,515 --> 01:42:37,714
Go check her.
2821
01:42:37,716 --> 01:42:38,717
I'll check this one.
2822
01:42:39,885 --> 01:42:40,984
Fuck.
2823
01:42:40,986 --> 01:42:41,820
Um, okay.
2824
01:42:43,856 --> 01:42:44,690
Fuck.
2825
01:42:51,630 --> 01:42:52,464
Fuck.
2826
01:42:54,833 --> 01:42:55,634
Fuck.
2827
01:42:57,103 --> 01:42:59,436
(VINNY YELLS)
2828
01:42:59,438 --> 01:43:04,143
Gross!
2829
01:43:05,211 --> 01:43:06,043
Fuck yeah!
2830
01:43:06,045 --> 01:43:07,080
I got it!
2831
01:43:07,981 --> 01:43:09,146
Oh, shit.
2832
01:43:09,148 --> 01:43:11,115
Vinny, behind you!
2833
01:43:11,117 --> 01:43:12,049
(BIGFOOT GROWLS)
2834
01:43:12,051 --> 01:43:15,152
(VINNY PANTS)
2835
01:43:15,154 --> 01:43:16,153
Holy shit.
2836
01:43:16,155 --> 01:43:21,027
(VINNY SCREAMS)
(BIGFOOT ROARS)
2837
01:43:24,030 --> 01:43:26,833
(VINNY COUGHS)
2838
01:43:30,469 --> 01:43:32,670
(VINNY YELLS)
2839
01:43:32,672 --> 01:43:33,505
Shit!
2840
01:43:34,173 --> 01:43:35,108
I got it.
2841
01:43:37,243 --> 01:43:39,143
(BIGFOOT RUMBLES)
2842
01:43:39,145 --> 01:43:43,180
Fuck you, man!
(SCATTERED GUNSHOTS)
2843
01:43:43,182 --> 01:43:47,518
(PAT SCREAMS ARE COVERED
BY BIGFOOT'S GROWLS)
2844
01:43:47,520 --> 01:43:48,521
Fuck, Vinny.
2845
01:43:54,661 --> 01:43:57,096
(PAT GROANS)
2846
01:43:58,164 --> 01:43:59,664
What the fuck?
2847
01:43:59,666 --> 01:44:00,865
Gotta get the key.
2848
01:44:00,867 --> 01:44:02,733
I need the key.
2849
01:44:02,735 --> 01:44:04,001
Oh.
2850
01:44:04,003 --> 01:44:05,770
(PAT RETCHES)
2851
01:44:05,772 --> 01:44:08,005
It was supposed to
be you and me, man.
2852
01:44:08,007 --> 01:44:10,107
Oh, fuck, where is it?
2853
01:44:10,109 --> 01:44:11,142
Oh!
2854
01:44:11,144 --> 01:44:11,976
Oh!
2855
01:44:11,978 --> 01:44:13,044
Oh, fuck!
2856
01:44:13,046 --> 01:44:13,880
Oh, fuck!
2857
01:44:25,058 --> 01:44:26,524
Thanks, man.
2858
01:44:26,526 --> 01:44:29,196
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
2859
01:45:22,716 --> 01:45:23,749
You son of a bitch!
2860
01:45:23,751 --> 01:45:26,785
(LOUD GUNSHOTS)
2861
01:45:26,787 --> 01:45:29,189
(PAT GROANS)
2862
01:45:30,324 --> 01:45:31,990
(CAROLINE LAUGHS)
2863
01:45:31,992 --> 01:45:32,993
Oh my God!
2864
01:45:35,095 --> 01:45:37,662
Oh my God, I'm so
glad to see you.
2865
01:45:37,664 --> 01:45:38,665
Look at you.
2866
01:45:40,200 --> 01:45:41,967
Why the hell were
you shooting at me?
2867
01:45:41,969 --> 01:45:42,901
Are you crazy?
2868
01:45:42,903 --> 01:45:44,136
I wasn't shooting at you,
2869
01:45:44,138 --> 01:45:45,103
I was shooting at that
bear or whatever it was.
2870
01:45:45,105 --> 01:45:46,671
It was attacking you!
2871
01:45:46,673 --> 01:45:48,040
It was behind you!
2872
01:45:48,042 --> 01:45:48,675
See?
2873
01:45:50,711 --> 01:45:52,345
- What was that?
- You killed it!
2874
01:45:52,347 --> 01:45:53,945
That's Bigfoot!
2875
01:45:53,947 --> 01:45:55,283
That is fuckin' Bigfoot.
2876
01:45:56,650 --> 01:45:57,783
And you killed it.
2877
01:45:57,785 --> 01:45:59,586
He killed everybody.
2878
01:46:00,255 --> 01:46:01,753
Everybody's dead.
2879
01:46:01,755 --> 01:46:02,589
Almost got me.
2880
01:46:04,024 --> 01:46:05,991
- But I made it.
- Mmhmm.
2881
01:46:05,993 --> 01:46:07,393
And you're lucky
I didn't kill you
2882
01:46:07,395 --> 01:46:10,229
for everything you have
put me through tonight.
2883
01:46:10,231 --> 01:46:12,030
You betrayed me!
2884
01:46:12,032 --> 01:46:14,200
You put all those videos
all over my social media
2885
01:46:14,202 --> 01:46:16,001
accounts of those
strippers all over you.
2886
01:46:16,003 --> 01:46:17,136
Why would you do that?
2887
01:46:17,138 --> 01:46:18,837
Are you fuckin' serious?
2888
01:46:18,839 --> 01:46:20,073
Did you hear me?
2889
01:46:20,075 --> 01:46:21,207
- Everybody's dead!
- Yes, I heard you!
2890
01:46:21,209 --> 01:46:22,975
I almost died!
2891
01:46:22,977 --> 01:46:26,145
But you broke
your promise to me.
2892
01:46:26,147 --> 01:46:28,081
Everybody that
I came here with,
2893
01:46:28,083 --> 01:46:30,151
Jinx, they're all dead.
2894
01:46:31,252 --> 01:46:33,652
- I heard you.
- I am done.
2895
01:46:33,654 --> 01:46:34,921
You hear me?
2896
01:46:34,923 --> 01:46:37,290
Done being your pussy
whipped little bitch.
2897
01:46:37,292 --> 01:46:40,326
I didn't put any videos on
your social media account.
2898
01:46:40,328 --> 01:46:42,762
Okay, so I'd appreciate
it if you cutted me
2899
01:46:42,764 --> 01:46:44,430
a little fuckin' slack.
2900
01:46:44,432 --> 01:46:45,731
And to top it all off,
2901
01:46:45,733 --> 01:46:47,266
I don't know what happened.
2902
01:46:47,268 --> 01:46:49,168
The last thing
that I can remember
2903
01:46:49,170 --> 01:46:53,439
is I was arguing with
Jinx about the strippers
2904
01:46:53,441 --> 01:46:55,041
you're so concerned with.
2905
01:46:55,043 --> 01:46:57,276
Next thing I know, I
get woken up by Vinny
2906
01:46:57,278 --> 01:46:59,779
and he's got a
fucking severed dick
2907
01:46:59,781 --> 01:47:01,916
and another ripped off
hand just in his hands.
2908
01:47:04,419 --> 01:47:06,185
How do you know this
wasn't one of Jinx's pranks?
2909
01:47:06,187 --> 01:47:07,854
Huh?
2910
01:47:07,856 --> 01:47:09,088
He's friends with all of
the special effects people,
2911
01:47:09,090 --> 01:47:10,723
he does this stuff all the time,
2912
01:47:10,725 --> 01:47:13,259
I've personally
never trusted him
2913
01:47:13,261 --> 01:47:15,128
and because he promised
nobody would get hurt,
2914
01:47:15,130 --> 01:47:17,096
- I said, okay, fine.
- Okay, stop.
2915
01:47:17,098 --> 01:47:18,231
And he promised
there'd be no strippers!
2916
01:47:18,233 --> 01:47:20,066
And what was there?
2917
01:47:20,068 --> 01:47:21,234
Strippers!
2918
01:47:21,236 --> 01:47:22,168
Well, you're worried
about strippers?
2919
01:47:22,170 --> 01:47:24,338
What you think I'm doing
something out here?
2920
01:47:24,340 --> 01:47:26,708
Besides fighting for
my own fuckin' life?
2921
01:47:28,109 --> 01:47:31,210
And if you're so worried
about what I'm doing, what?
2922
01:47:31,212 --> 01:47:32,379
You're insecure?
2923
01:47:32,381 --> 01:47:34,248
You think I was doing
something wrong?
2924
01:47:34,250 --> 01:47:35,081
What about you?
2925
01:47:35,083 --> 01:47:37,251
Feel like you're
missing something.
2926
01:47:37,253 --> 01:47:38,385
So where were you at tonight?
2927
01:47:38,387 --> 01:47:40,420
While I was trying to not die?
2928
01:47:40,422 --> 01:47:42,389
(SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE)
2929
01:47:42,391 --> 01:47:43,956
Do you hear that?
2930
01:47:43,958 --> 01:47:45,392
It's sirens.
2931
01:47:45,394 --> 01:47:47,860
I called the sheriff
at the camp site!
2932
01:47:47,862 --> 01:47:48,895
Let's go, let's get him!
2933
01:47:48,897 --> 01:47:52,000
(SIRENS GROW LOUDER)
2934
01:48:07,016 --> 01:48:07,948
I killed him!
2935
01:48:07,950 --> 01:48:08,882
I shot him, he's back there.
2936
01:48:08,884 --> 01:48:10,284
OFFICER: Drop your weapon!
2937
01:48:10,286 --> 01:48:11,251
- No, no, you gotta go see.
- Drop that weapon.
2938
01:48:11,253 --> 01:48:13,055
- I'm sorry.
- Up here.
2939
01:48:14,990 --> 01:48:16,190
Oh, I'd love to get (MUMBLES)
2940
01:48:16,192 --> 01:48:17,424
and smell like beef
in the morning.
2941
01:48:17,426 --> 01:48:18,992
Makes me horny.
2942
01:48:18,994 --> 01:48:20,194
What?
2943
01:48:20,196 --> 01:48:21,161
- What have we got here?
- Oh my goodness,
2944
01:48:21,163 --> 01:48:23,263
- what is this?
- I don't know.
2945
01:48:23,265 --> 01:48:24,099
But it's not.
2946
01:48:25,167 --> 01:48:26,466
- He's dead.
- Throw him over.
2947
01:48:26,468 --> 01:48:28,902
On my count, one, two, three.
2948
01:48:28,904 --> 01:48:30,337
(MEN GRUNT)
(WOMAN GRUNTS)
2949
01:48:30,339 --> 01:48:32,039
God, he stinks.
2950
01:48:32,041 --> 01:48:33,140
You gotta be kidding me.
2951
01:48:33,142 --> 01:48:34,408
PAT: No, I'm serious.
2952
01:48:34,410 --> 01:48:36,143
That's the story you
expect us to believe?
2953
01:48:36,145 --> 01:48:37,277
Another Bigfoot story?
2954
01:48:37,279 --> 01:48:38,345
PAT: He's right there.
2955
01:48:38,347 --> 01:48:39,479
You know how many times
we get pulled out here
2956
01:48:39,481 --> 01:48:41,048
for these Bigfoot stories?
2957
01:48:41,050 --> 01:48:42,816
I just shot him,
he's right there
2958
01:48:42,818 --> 01:48:46,353
if you just please come
with us, you will see him!
2959
01:48:46,355 --> 01:48:48,989
First of all, son, you're
on restricted property.
2960
01:48:48,991 --> 01:48:51,925
That's a 300 dollar
fine per person.
2961
01:48:51,927 --> 01:48:54,027
Second, why didn't you
just go to a titty bar
2962
01:48:54,029 --> 01:48:55,195
like anybody else?
2963
01:48:55,197 --> 01:48:58,832
I mean, who comes out in the
woods for a bachelor party?
2964
01:48:58,834 --> 01:48:59,467
Nobody.
2965
01:48:59,469 --> 01:49:00,401
Doesn't make sense.
2966
01:49:00,403 --> 01:49:01,868
Sir.
2967
01:49:01,870 --> 01:49:05,373
With all due respect,
I am vehemently opposed
2968
01:49:05,375 --> 01:49:09,310
to titty bars and camping is
all I would allow him to do.
2969
01:49:09,312 --> 01:49:11,312
All you would allow him to do?
2970
01:49:11,314 --> 01:49:12,946
Well, you're cool
with him coming out
2971
01:49:12,948 --> 01:49:14,415
with his friends into
a restricted area
2972
01:49:14,417 --> 01:49:15,516
and getting 'em all killed?
2973
01:49:15,518 --> 01:49:17,150
That doesn't make sense, ma'am.
2974
01:49:17,152 --> 01:49:19,320
I didn't know they
would be trespassing.
2975
01:49:19,322 --> 01:49:21,822
I didn't know this would
be a restricted area.
2976
01:49:21,824 --> 01:49:23,358
I didn't know
there'd be strippers,
2977
01:49:23,360 --> 01:49:25,993
I didn't know there'd be an
actor in a Bigfoot costume!
2978
01:49:25,995 --> 01:49:26,994
Of course there's
gonna be strippers,
2979
01:49:26,996 --> 01:49:28,396
he's a man, isn't he?
2980
01:49:28,398 --> 01:49:30,367
What kind of controlling
woman are you?
2981
01:49:31,468 --> 01:49:32,966
There he is!
2982
01:49:32,968 --> 01:49:34,903
- Have a look for yourself.
- That's him!
2983
01:49:36,373 --> 01:49:37,205
Oh God, that's him.
2984
01:49:37,207 --> 01:49:39,875
(CAROLINE SOBS)
2985
01:49:42,479 --> 01:49:44,147
Let's take a
look at this thing.
2986
01:49:46,383 --> 01:49:48,182
Here's your Bigfoot, lady.
2987
01:49:48,184 --> 01:49:49,350
(CAROLINE GASPS AND SOBS)
2988
01:49:49,352 --> 01:49:52,620
Looks like you killed this
nice young man for no reason.
2989
01:49:52,622 --> 01:49:54,622
- No, I, no.
- No!
2990
01:49:54,624 --> 01:49:56,457
Stop, that is not what it was.
2991
01:49:56,459 --> 01:49:57,959
Okay, that, no, no, no.
2992
01:49:57,961 --> 01:49:58,893
You said you knew
about the party...
2993
01:49:58,895 --> 01:50:00,328
That's not what I shot!
2994
01:50:00,330 --> 01:50:01,262
- I shot, I shot a Bigfoot!
- You said you knew
2995
01:50:01,264 --> 01:50:03,097
about the party and the plan.
2996
01:50:03,099 --> 01:50:04,165
Why didn't you check it out
2997
01:50:04,167 --> 01:50:06,134
before you opened fire
and killed this poor kid?
2998
01:50:06,136 --> 01:50:08,369
I don't know,
I didn't mean to!
2999
01:50:08,371 --> 01:50:09,437
You think a kid did all this?
3000
01:50:09,439 --> 01:50:10,872
We're gonna cuff 'em.
3001
01:50:10,874 --> 01:50:12,240
We're gonna take you in
for more questioning.
3002
01:50:12,242 --> 01:50:13,174
We'll get to the bottom of this.
3003
01:50:13,176 --> 01:50:14,409
It's alright, it'll be good.
3004
01:50:14,411 --> 01:50:16,544
We'll find out exactly
what happened out here.
3005
01:50:16,546 --> 01:50:18,146
Remain calm, okay?
3006
01:50:18,148 --> 01:50:19,047
We're innocent.
3007
01:50:19,049 --> 01:50:20,014
We didn't do anything!
3008
01:50:20,016 --> 01:50:21,215
We're innocent!
3009
01:50:21,217 --> 01:50:22,383
We need to reduce
the drama, okay?
3010
01:50:22,385 --> 01:50:24,352
- Everyone just calm down.
- What drama?
3011
01:50:24,354 --> 01:50:26,555
You are arresting
us for no reason.
3012
01:50:26,557 --> 01:50:27,422
You think I did this?
3013
01:50:27,424 --> 01:50:29,257
You think I did this?
3014
01:50:29,259 --> 01:50:30,458
We're innocent!
3015
01:50:30,460 --> 01:50:31,426
OFFICER: Have the
right to remain silent.
3016
01:50:31,428 --> 01:50:33,428
Anything you say can and will be
3017
01:50:33,430 --> 01:50:35,431
used against you in
the court of law.
3018
01:50:35,433 --> 01:50:37,899
Get off, we're innocent!
3019
01:50:37,901 --> 01:50:38,600
We're innocent!
3020
01:50:38,602 --> 01:50:39,437
Sir, sir!
3021
01:50:40,937 --> 01:50:42,438
We are innocent, please.
3022
01:50:42,440 --> 01:50:43,472
Please.
3023
01:50:43,474 --> 01:50:45,239
Get in the damn car.
3024
01:50:45,241 --> 01:50:46,941
This is bullshit.
3025
01:50:46,943 --> 01:50:48,410
Hey!
3026
01:50:48,412 --> 01:50:49,378
Hey, that's her!
3027
01:50:49,380 --> 01:50:50,346
- Hey, that's her!
- Let's go.
3028
01:50:50,348 --> 01:50:51,513
PAT: That's the park ranger.
3029
01:50:51,515 --> 01:50:54,550
Son, you're just diggin'
a deeper hole with the lies.
3030
01:50:54,552 --> 01:50:55,351
Just be quiet, okay?
3031
01:50:55,353 --> 01:50:57,085
Tell it to the
judge, if you want.
3032
01:50:57,087 --> 01:50:58,654
- Let's go.
- Come on!
3033
01:50:58,656 --> 01:51:00,289
- Get in the car!
- Look at her boobs!
3034
01:51:00,291 --> 01:51:01,690
- Get in the car.
- Get him in the car, deputy.
3035
01:51:01,692 --> 01:51:02,558
Let's go!
3036
01:51:02,560 --> 01:51:03,459
Get him outta here.
3037
01:51:03,461 --> 01:51:04,593
No, no, no!
3038
01:51:04,595 --> 01:51:06,328
- No, no!
- Let's go.
3039
01:51:06,330 --> 01:51:07,429
- (CAROLINE YELLS)
- Come on.
3040
01:51:07,431 --> 01:51:08,996
Let go!
3041
01:51:08,998 --> 01:51:10,265
Look, we're innocent!
3042
01:51:10,267 --> 01:51:11,233
Sheriff, I don't know
what he's talking about.
3043
01:51:11,235 --> 01:51:15,170
I've never seen that
man in my entire life.
3044
01:51:15,172 --> 01:51:16,005
Let me see it.
3045
01:51:17,974 --> 01:51:19,610
Vinny Blades.
3046
01:51:20,578 --> 01:51:21,410
What did I tell you about
3047
01:51:21,412 --> 01:51:23,712
hanging out with
these damn campers?
3048
01:51:23,714 --> 01:51:25,314
They get you in
trouble every time.
3049
01:51:25,316 --> 01:51:28,183
(BIGFOOT ROARS)
3050
01:51:28,185 --> 01:51:30,654
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
3051
01:51:35,626 --> 01:51:38,229
(ROCK MUSIC)
3052
01:51:50,007 --> 01:51:52,076
God, a hand and a cock.
3053
01:51:53,511 --> 01:51:54,311
Oh.
3054
01:51:57,081 --> 01:51:58,480
How about a handjob, buddy, huh?
3055
01:51:58,482 --> 01:52:00,048
(MAN CHUCKLES)
3056
01:52:00,050 --> 01:52:01,283
What'd you do, little lady?
3057
01:52:01,285 --> 01:52:03,485
What'd you do to get
your head knocked off?
3058
01:52:03,487 --> 01:52:05,020
(CAMERA CLICKS)
3059
01:52:05,022 --> 01:52:06,625
I found another one!
3060
01:52:11,463 --> 01:52:12,662
(WOMAN GRUNTS)
3061
01:52:12,664 --> 01:52:13,998
What the fuck?
3062
01:52:17,702 --> 01:52:19,301
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
3063
01:52:19,303 --> 01:52:20,503
- Yeah!
- Alright!
3064
01:52:20,505 --> 01:52:21,404
Look at these motherfuckers!
3065
01:52:21,406 --> 01:52:22,472
Look at these guys.
3066
01:52:22,474 --> 01:52:23,673
You fuckin' made it
through the fuckin' movie!
3067
01:52:23,675 --> 01:52:24,574
Cherokee Creek!
3068
01:52:24,576 --> 01:52:27,209
MEN: Cherokee
Creek, Cherokee Creek!
3069
01:52:27,211 --> 01:52:29,479
Cherokee Creek, Cherokee Creek!
3070
01:52:29,481 --> 01:52:30,547
Oh, shit, hey.
3071
01:52:30,549 --> 01:52:31,381
Kids, if you're watching this,
3072
01:52:31,383 --> 01:52:33,182
don't fuckin' play
with guns, okay?
3073
01:52:33,184 --> 01:52:34,617
But you do need to
say Cherokee Creek
3074
01:52:34,619 --> 01:52:36,553
and, you know, you can come
up with your own dance.
3075
01:52:36,555 --> 01:52:38,020
You don't have to
do this one but,
3076
01:52:38,022 --> 01:52:39,589
come up with some kind
of Cherokee Creek dance
3077
01:52:39,591 --> 01:52:42,559
- and put that shit online.
- Yeah, you could do a dance!
3078
01:52:42,561 --> 01:52:46,028
I want you to tell every
motherfucker out there.
3079
01:52:46,030 --> 01:52:48,030
- Motherfucker!
- Motherfucker about our movie
3080
01:52:48,032 --> 01:52:49,699
Cherokee Creek
because we made this
3081
01:52:49,701 --> 01:52:50,600
fucking movie for you guys.
3082
01:52:50,602 --> 01:52:52,702
We wanted to see a
kickass Bigfoot movie
3083
01:52:52,704 --> 01:52:54,270
that had the tits and
the ass and everything.
3084
01:52:54,272 --> 01:52:55,638
Tits!
3085
01:52:55,640 --> 01:52:57,207
And we didn't necessarily
wanna see a dick
3086
01:52:57,209 --> 01:52:58,508
in there but everybody else
was putting dicks in movies
3087
01:52:58,510 --> 01:53:00,043
and we did our research,
so we're like, fuck it.
3088
01:53:00,045 --> 01:53:02,479
I'll put a dick in there
and the dick is funny.
3089
01:53:02,481 --> 01:53:03,680
I think the dick's pretty funny.
3090
01:53:03,682 --> 01:53:05,548
I think the dicks
are funny, yeah.
3091
01:53:05,550 --> 01:53:06,516
The dick in the
movie was funny.
3092
01:53:06,518 --> 01:53:08,518
You get a great laugh
out of the motherfucker.
3093
01:53:08,520 --> 01:53:09,352
- Hey, you get...
- Anyway.
3094
01:53:09,354 --> 01:53:11,154
You get a laugh
with the dicks.
3095
01:53:11,156 --> 01:53:12,388
I laughed.
3096
01:53:12,390 --> 01:53:14,491
Anyway, so get down
to some business.
3097
01:53:14,493 --> 01:53:16,326
- You motherfuckers.
- Yous.
3098
01:53:16,328 --> 01:53:18,261
You cool
motherfuckers out there,
3099
01:53:18,263 --> 01:53:19,662
all of yous, what
we need for y'all
3100
01:53:19,664 --> 01:53:21,197
to fuckin' do is tell everybody
3101
01:53:21,199 --> 01:53:22,632
about this motherfucking movie.
3102
01:53:22,634 --> 01:53:24,601
Get on the Facebook,
the Twitter.
3103
01:53:24,603 --> 01:53:25,736
That's the like.
3104
01:53:25,738 --> 01:53:26,569
Shit, the Facebook, the Twitter,
3105
01:53:26,571 --> 01:53:27,637
whatever the fuck
it is you're on.
3106
01:53:27,639 --> 01:53:29,572
- The Instagram.
- Yes!
3107
01:53:29,574 --> 01:53:30,708
What's those other ones?
3108
01:53:30,710 --> 01:53:32,141
Facebook?
3109
01:53:32,143 --> 01:53:33,610
We said that one
already, didn't we?
3110
01:53:33,612 --> 01:53:35,345
Instagram.
3111
01:53:35,347 --> 01:53:36,579
We said that, too.
3112
01:53:36,581 --> 01:53:37,480
Anyway, get on all
the fuckin' formats
3113
01:53:37,482 --> 01:53:39,650
and whatever format
comes out at the time
3114
01:53:39,652 --> 01:53:41,551
and tell them about this
movie, Cherokee Creek
3115
01:53:41,553 --> 01:53:44,722
because we're a 100
percent independent film
3116
01:53:44,724 --> 01:53:46,590
and we did not take
shit from nobody.
3117
01:53:46,592 --> 01:53:48,826
And we didn't change
shit in this movie.
3118
01:53:48,828 --> 01:53:51,394
Because we delivered
what we wanna do
3119
01:53:51,396 --> 01:53:52,463
and I know you fucking loved it
3120
01:53:52,465 --> 01:53:54,765
and if you did love it,
the way we fucking love it,
3121
01:53:54,767 --> 01:53:55,866
tell some
motherfuckers about it.
3122
01:53:55,868 --> 01:53:58,602
Hey, we did it the way
we wanted to do it, right?
3123
01:53:58,604 --> 01:54:00,270
We did it the
way we wanted to.
3124
01:54:00,272 --> 01:54:01,204
- That's right.
- Yeah.
3125
01:54:01,206 --> 01:54:02,740
So fucking tell everybody.
3126
01:54:02,742 --> 01:54:04,207
Tell everybody.
3127
01:54:04,209 --> 01:54:05,709
TODD: Hey, don't leave.
3128
01:54:05,711 --> 01:54:06,644
Just stay there and keep an
eye on them motherfuckers.
3129
01:54:06,646 --> 01:54:07,845
What do I do with this?
3130
01:54:07,847 --> 01:54:09,547
TODD: Man, hold it at the
camera, make sure they do it.
3131
01:54:09,549 --> 01:54:11,214
- Hey!
- Tell everybody.
3132
01:54:11,216 --> 01:54:13,584
Don't do anything wrong!
3133
01:54:13,586 --> 01:54:14,718
(LAUGHS)
3134
01:54:14,720 --> 01:54:17,122
(ROCK MUSIC)
3135
01:54:26,299 --> 01:54:30,634
♪ Here they come
3136
01:54:30,636 --> 01:54:31,835
♪ Run
3137
01:54:31,837 --> 01:54:36,407
♪ It comes at night
without warning ♪
3138
01:54:36,409 --> 01:54:40,578
♪ With despair
and full of rage ♪
3139
01:54:40,580 --> 01:54:44,682
♪ Fear the beast that
lived before us ♪
3140
01:54:44,684 --> 01:54:49,689
♪ We're on his land, so unholy
3141
01:54:51,757 --> 01:54:55,659
♪ Here they come
3142
01:54:55,661 --> 01:54:57,528
♪ So run
3143
01:54:57,530 --> 01:55:01,800
♪ It's a waste to
rent out a body ♪
3144
01:55:01,802 --> 01:55:06,303
♪ On the soil that is profane
3145
01:55:06,305 --> 01:55:10,709
♪ Got as high as the
trees before you ♪
3146
01:55:10,711 --> 01:55:15,716
♪ And the scars that
can't be seen, oh no ♪
3147
01:55:17,550 --> 01:55:21,820
♪ Here they come
3148
01:55:21,822 --> 01:55:23,688
♪ Run
3149
01:55:23,690 --> 01:55:25,757
♪ They see you
3150
01:55:25,759 --> 01:55:27,759
♪ They smell you
3151
01:55:27,761 --> 01:55:31,796
♪ They are the eyes that
played with the moon ♪
3152
01:55:31,798 --> 01:55:33,898
♪ You can feel it
3153
01:55:33,900 --> 01:55:36,266
♪ But can't see it
3154
01:55:36,268 --> 01:55:38,470
♪ So alive
3155
01:55:38,472 --> 01:55:43,477
♪ So deadly
3156
01:55:45,412 --> 01:55:49,881
♪ Here they come
3157
01:55:49,883 --> 01:55:53,852
♪ Hey, yeah
3158
01:55:53,854 --> 01:55:57,322
♪ Here they come
3159
01:55:57,324 --> 01:55:58,723
You're not
stealin' my scooter,
3160
01:55:58,725 --> 01:56:00,592
you son of a bitch.
3161
01:56:00,594 --> 01:56:02,594
TODD: You're not stealin'
my scooter, you motherfucker!
3162
01:56:02,596 --> 01:56:03,795
Okay, ready?
3163
01:56:03,797 --> 01:56:04,863
Set, looking right
here at my hand, mom.
3164
01:56:04,865 --> 01:56:06,297
You're doing good, don't worry.
3165
01:56:06,299 --> 01:56:07,732
And action!
3166
01:56:07,734 --> 01:56:09,401
You're not
stealin' my scooter,
3167
01:56:09,403 --> 01:56:11,838
you motherfuckin'
son of a bitch.
3168
01:56:12,739 --> 01:56:13,872
(MAN LAUGHS IN THE BACKGROUND)
3169
01:56:13,874 --> 01:56:15,807
TODD: Oh boy, guys!
3170
01:56:15,809 --> 01:56:16,808
That's the first time
she got it right.
3171
01:56:16,810 --> 01:56:17,811
BILLY: Nailed it!
3172
01:56:19,013 --> 01:56:20,280
TODD: Alright, come
on, come on, come on.
3173
01:56:20,282 --> 01:56:21,101
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214516
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