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1
00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,640
- That's what it is.
- No, it doesn't— It doesn't say
that. It's like, there's two babies,
2
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:08,080
but they're not twins.
- Stop, just for one minute.
Let's just— Can somebody confirm
3
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,160
to me, right now, please —
4
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,200
so Nat is now...
5
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,000
pregnant?
- Yes, Dad.
- Yes, that— that is...
6
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,480
- That is precisely
what the cake is saying.
7
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,520
- No, no, no.
The cake is implying twins.
8
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:18,800
- No, it's... Oh!
9
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,200
- I get no compliments, no thanks.
I shouldn't have even bothered.
10
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,800
- Nah, it's not the cake.
The cake is great.
11
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,680
- Yeah, but no one's
even tried it yet.
12
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,440
- It's not implying twins.
- It's implying there are
two babies.
13
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,880
- Mum, why are you crying?
- I just got a fright, that's all.
14
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,840
- This is a nice thing.
- It's OK.
- I really had to...
15
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,360
- All I'm trying to say is
if you had two cakes,
16
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:40,640
and they both said 'I'm pregnant',
and you both held one, everyone
would have been less confused.
17
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,280
- Or no cake at all!
18
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,680
- That's quite a bit
of work to do two cakes.
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION)
19
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,800
- One of you guys should make
the cake, then, cos clearly,
I've wrecked this.
20
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,880
Sorry. It's my fault.
- No, hey, Lily. Listen...
21
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,160
- No, no...
- Oh, guys, come on.
Maybe just cut into the cake, yeah?
22
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,600
- Lily!
- Lily.
23
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,280
- No, no! OK, fine. That's it.
No one's having any cake. That's it.
24
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,280
You ruined it. We were just
trying to have a nice moment
25
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,640
where we shared this beautiful
announcement with you all,
26
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,800
but you've robbed us of that,
so cong-a-rats, guys.
27
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,120
- Natalie, pull your head in.
28
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:09,040
She was like this the last time,
when she came out with her
rainbow cake.
29
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,040
- Abs— You're right.
- And we got no fucking cake!
- Exactly.
30
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:15,200
- Yeah, because you cry,
and you ask too many questions!
- We just want some cake.
31
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,480
(GENTLE, WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
32
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,280
- Honestly,
33
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,520
that went better than
I thought it would.
- Yeah.
34
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,800
Dad was surprisingly calm.
35
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,640
www.able.co.nz
Copyright Able 2023
36
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,960
(STEPH COUGHS VIOLENTLY)
37
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,880
(STEPH RETCHES, GRUNTS)
38
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:36,480
- SOFTLY: (SIGHS) Yikes.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
39
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,480
(STEPH GRUNTS, PANTS)
40
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,560
(SCOFFS)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
41
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,560
SOFTLY: Oh shit.
42
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,560
- Was that really loud?
- What? The— The—
43
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,560
I didn't hear anything.
- Oh my God. I feel so sorry
for Lily and Johnny.
44
00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,480
- Baby...
- I don't understand why
I'm still feeling like this.
45
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,440
Like, past 14 weeks,
it should be over.
46
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:07,160
- It's crazy. It's like
every woman's experience
is different or something,
47
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,080
and, like, nothing you've read
is, like... (CHUCKLES)
- Nat. Nat, I cannot—
48
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,800
I cannot hear this from you. Like,
your only symptoms are bigger boobs
49
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:18,080
and better skin, so can you
just, like, not comment?
50
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,520
- Did you brush your teeth?
51
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,760
- Yeah. Why?
52
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,680
Oh.
53
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,760
What's... What's that for?
- Happy anniversary.
54
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,920
- It's not our anniversary.
- Yeah, it is.
55
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,240
- No, it's not.
- CHUCKLES: Yes.
- It's not.
56
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,000
It is. Oh God.
57
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,600
It is. Oh, it is!
58
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,600
This sucks.
59
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,320
- Oh, OK. A simple
'happy anniversary' back
60
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:46,680
would be kinda nice, you know?
- Happy anniversary.
61
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,160
- I take it that, uh, our usual...
62
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:54,200
anniversary morning sex is
off the... off the cards today.
63
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,680
- Like a happy anniversary...
64
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,400
high five?
65
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,560
High five.
- Oh wow. That's...
66
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,000
That's the good stuff. Yeah.
67
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,560
Ooh! Oh shit. Hey.
- Whoa, bro, you gotta lock the door
if you're playing with your...
68
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,720
- Fine. It's fine. Come in.
- You're doing baby stuff?
- Uh...
69
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,560
What? No, no. Oh, no,
I save the, uh...
70
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,600
the 'perennial' massage
for the bedroom. (CHUCKLES)
71
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,520
- Bloody hell, Nat.
72
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,720
- Actually, what are you doing
on Thursday? I could do with
a little helping... hand.
73
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:35,440
(CHUCKLES) Did Steph wake you up?
- Yeah. It's all good, though.
Kinda looking forward to it now —
74
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,640
like a horrible little alarm
every morning, you know?
- (CHUCKLES)
75
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,560
- (SPITS) How you both feeling?
- Um... (SPITS)
76
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:46,920
Well, we both forgot our anniversary
this morning, so more insecure
than nauseous, to be honest.
77
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,840
- What anniversary is it?
- Seven, I think. Seven years.
78
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,120
Although the first year,
she did kinda keep me
a dirty little secret, so...
79
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,680
- Ooh, seven-year itch.
- What, you think
we're gonna break up?
80
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,760
- Nah. Nah, I'd actually put
good money on you and Steph
going the distance.
81
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,240
- Oh, you would?
- Yeah.
- How much?
82
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:06,520
- Oh, cheeky hundy.
- Hun— Just— A hundy?
83
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,320
Oh, that's a bit cheap. I'll let you
know if we're on the rocks.
84
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,320
Laters!
85
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,760
(KEYS TAP LIGHTLY)
86
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,720
(CHILD COUGHS)
87
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,320
QUIETLY: Jesus. That's a bit bleak.
88
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,000
- Ms King?
- We're fine. What? Hey?
89
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,320
- Who's fine?
- Don't worry about it.
Uh, what are you doing, Charlie?
90
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:39,600
You're supposed to be at your table
writing a lovely story about
your family's happiest memory.
91
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,560
- I just wanted to know
how you spell 'holiday'.
92
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:48,440
- You got a spellcheck on your
phone, mate. You don't need me.
Run along.
93
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,320
(DRAWER SLIDES)
94
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,000
(KEYPAD CLICKS)
95
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:09,000
- I'm actually starting to feel
a bit worried that people
might think I'm dying.
96
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,040
- (CHUCKLES)
- Like, it's a lot of sick leave
to be taking all of a sudden.
97
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,840
- Well, your boss knows, so
what else is there to worry about?
98
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:20,160
- Yeah, that is true.
Nepotism gets a bad rap,
but there are a lot of benefits.
99
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:24,520
- Now, Shelly and I thought
you should look over something.
100
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,680
- You're serving me?
- Yeah.
101
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,040
I'm suing you for
damages to our marriage.
102
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:33,840
- (LAUGHS) Your failed marriage
has nothing to do with me.
103
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,960
Shared parenting agreement.
This looks fun.
104
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:41,440
- Changed the heading font to Futura
just to jazz it up.
105
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,240
- (SIGHS) Look, I have been thinking
about something similar,
106
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,680
but it's just... not really
the way Nat does things.
107
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:52,920
- Your mother made a point.
You need to formalise Johnny's
involvement in your family.
108
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,320
- I know, but he's like
a brother to Nat.
109
00:05:55,320 --> 00:06:01,080
- Yeah, well, he did sign something
when he donated sperm for IVF.
It's a similar idea here.
110
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:05,280
Nothing major —
just protecting... what you love.
111
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,360
- Yeah.
112
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,440
- (KNOCKS ON WALL)
113
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,520
- What is it? What is— What is that?
What does all that knocking do?
114
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,320
- I'm just trying to find out
if there's important bracing
that runs through here.
115
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:19,120
- Oh. It's actually kinda hot.
- You know it's super inappropriate
116
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,560
to sexually harass a contractor while
they're working in your home, eh?
117
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:26,280
- Yeah, well, I'm not paying you for
this, so please get back to work,
you hot bitch.
118
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:30,760
- OK, en suite is possible, but it is
gonna be super expensive, so I don't
reckon it's worth the trouble.
119
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,600
- Yeah, well,
you say that now, but...
120
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,440
No. Actually, no,
I'm not gonna say it.
- Here we go. Say it.
121
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,880
- Johnny, you're supposed to be
encouraging me to take
the moral high road.
122
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,960
- Yeah, fair call.
- But look, what I will say
is this, OK? What I will say...
123
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,960
What I will say...
124
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,200
OK. So, even though I am
really pleased for Nat and Steph,
125
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,320
don't you just feel like
every conversation is always about
126
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,640
the babies and how sick Steph is
and how hard it's gonna be?
127
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,440
And I feel like neither of them
have actually thought about
how this is gonna affect...
128
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,560
- You.
- ...us. No, all of us.
129
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:03,480
I think it's pretty good of me
that I haven't even complained yet.
I haven't said... anything, right?
130
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,960
But essentially, those two
have brought in two new flatmates
who didn't even get a pre-interview.
131
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,040
- (CHUCKLES)
- You know?
132
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,080
- It's not like they're
gonna be partying all night.
- Yes, they will! They'll be crying.
133
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,640
They'll be leaving their stuff
everywhere, hogging the bathroom.
134
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:18,400
Babies have baths every day.
Every day, man. I have a bath,
like, once a month — if I'm lucky.
135
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,360
All I'm saying is that somebody
around here needs to make sure
136
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,480
that there are some
baby-free spaces around here.
137
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,280
- It's gonna be, like, 15K.
- 15K?!
138
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,800
15?!
139
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,400
- Sorry.
- Man!
140
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,120
All right. Yeah.
Girl can dream, eh. God.
141
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,160
You're a rip-off!
142
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,680
- READS: 'When Mrs Little's
second son arrived,
143
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,880
'everybody noticed that he was
not much bigger than a mouse.
144
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,640
'The truth of the matter was
the baby looked very much like
a mouse in every way.'
145
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:53,440
Yes, Mia?
- So Stuart was born
as a mouse from his human mum?
146
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,600
- Yeah. Yeah.
147
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,040
And that's a beautiful thing, right?
Because... Because they love him
no matter what —
148
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:03,640
no matter if he's, like, a mouse
or a— or a mouse boy or...
149
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:08,000
Yes, Theo?
- Wouldn't you be freaked out if
there was a mouse growing inside you?
150
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,320
- Yeah. What's wrong with her body?
How did she grow a mouse
inside of her?
151
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,920
(CHILDREN CHATTER INDISTINCTLY)
- It's so weird.
152
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,120
- Hey, hey. Hey.
- Justice!
153
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,960
- There's so much more better
stories. This one just sucks.
154
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,280
- All right, all right, all right!
Listen up, 5NK, all right?
155
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:26,800
This is a beautiful story, OK,
about— about how families come
in all different shapes and sizes.
156
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:30,240
And actually, I don't think
it's very nice that you lot are...
157
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,400
are making fun of Stuart Little's
family because it's different
to yours, all right?
158
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,560
You can have one dad.
You can have two mums. You can
have, like, four mums and a dad.
159
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,520
You could be in a commune.
You could be in a flat—
160
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:43,720
The point is, all that matters is
a family... loves each other.
161
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,240
Yes, Mia?
162
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,520
- Are you crying?
- I'm fine.
163
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,720
Fine. It's just really—
- Should I get someone?
164
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:59,800
- (EXHALES, STAMMERS) Moved, OK?
I'm just a little bit moved.
165
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000
By the words.
166
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,360
- WHISPERS: She's lost her shit.
- I'm gonna go back.
167
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,240
READS TEARFULLY: 'When Mrs Little's
second son arrived,
168
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:12,320
'everybody noticed that he was
not much bigger than a mouse.'
169
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,520
- STEPH: I still think babies
in the laundry, which we convert,
170
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,320
and then we put the laundry
in the garage.
171
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,840
- Well, what if we convert
Lily's room into the babies' room
and then put Lily in the garage?
172
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,600
I don't know. I— I'm— This—
173
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,640
I don't have the brainpower
for this conversation right now.
174
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,920
- Why don't we just put the babies
up in the roof where we keep
the Christmas tree?
175
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,040
- Hey.
- Lily, that's not funny.
176
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,160
- It makes me feel uncomfortable
that you'd joke about our
unborn children like that.
177
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:38,320
Take it back.
- Oh great (!) So even jokes
are bad now. What's next? Fun?
178
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,040
- Hey, are you guys finished
in the kitchen?
179
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,000
- Yeah.
- Yes, we are. Sorry.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
180
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,680
- I suppose we should probably think
about giving the babies their own
181
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:49,040
little pantry space, shouldn't we,
to keep their baby food sachets.
182
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,960
- Well, you won't have to do that
for a bit, cos we're gonna be
their pantries.
183
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,480
- You guys reckon I could
express milk if I tried?
184
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:59,200
- You know what? I think I have read
something about induced lactation.
It's like a hormonal thing.
185
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:03,520
- Oh. OK, well, then keep
your babies away from me.
I don't wanna sync up.
186
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,160
- Do you think they'll
look the same?
187
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,280
- I guess they'll both kinda
look like me, won't they?
188
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,600
- Kind of funny, eh?
I always thought Steph and
Johnny's baby would be the hot one,
189
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,120
but now I'm starting to think
it could be Nat and Johnny's baby.
190
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:17,280
- Hey, um, I've been meaning to,
like, bring this up for a little
bit, cos I feel like we need to
191
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,480
stop with the whole, like,
'Nat's baby, Steph's baby' thing,
192
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,200
because, you know, like, we're
one family. They're our babies.
193
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,200
- Yeah, well, then we need
different names, cos it's
just confusing otherwise.
194
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,200
- Like what? B1, B2?
195
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,960
- No, I feel like
that's ranking them.
196
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,800
- What about Mary-Kate and Ashley?
197
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,520
- No, I don't think it can be
gendered, because then if they're
boys, I'll feel disappointed.
198
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,640
- What about Jekyll and Hyde?
- No, absolutely not!
199
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,200
- Why do you keep saying no
to all my ideas?
200
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,400
- Oh, I'm sorry (!)
It's just that they're all terrible.
- (LAUGHS) Yeah, they really are.
201
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,960
- Salt and pepper—
Nah, not salt and pepper.
202
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:51,560
Peanut... Ooh, yeah.
What about Peanut and Pistachio?
203
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,280
- Oh my God.
- That...
204
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,360
is actually really cute.
205
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,480
But also in a way that
we could never tell anybody.
206
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,720
- Yeah, it's, like, really
embarrassing, but weirdly, you know,
207
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,520
it's, like, non-gender specific.
The only people that could
208
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,360
possibly be offended
are people with nut allergies.
209
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,480
- Well, how do we know
which is which?
- Oh, easy.
210
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,240
Nat is Peanut, and Steph would be
Pistachio, cos it costs more.
211
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,120
- Yeah, that's so good.
- God, that's so clever.
212
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,160
- That's really good.
- Did that just come off your dome?
213
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,400
- OK, but—
- And we absolutely cannot tell
anyone about these names, OK?
214
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,200
It just stays within the flat group.
215
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,800
Pinkie— Pinkie promise.
Four-way pinkie promise.
216
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:29,320
- Cone of silence.
- God, it's really hard to do
a four-way pinkie promise, isn't it?
217
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,760
- Di is very thrilled
to be your midwife.
218
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:35,360
In fact, she was
very emotional about it.
- Well, I hope not too emotional.
219
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,520
I need her to keep her shit together
to, you know, do her job and that.
220
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:41,440
- It's a big deal, Nat,
having the same midwife...
221
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:46,120
who delivered you out of my body to
be then delivering your baby out of
your body, and your partner's.
222
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:50,200
- Gross, when I think about it.
- It's just a very full-circle,
beautiful moment.
223
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,400
- Um, Steph's got her own OB,
by the way.
224
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,320
- Oh. Right.
- What?
225
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:59,400
- No, nothing.
I just thought you might want
to go through it all together.
226
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,400
Oh! Oh my God.
227
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:06,360
My foot spa. Now, that annoys me.
Your father just threw it
in the garage.
228
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,240
I spent good Flybuy points on that.
229
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,480
- (CHUCKLES)
230
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,600
- Here we are. What do you want
with the ring, anyway?
231
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:21,280
You're not gonna sell it, are you?
It's been in the family for ages.
- No, I'm not gonna sell it.
232
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,280
I wanna use it.
233
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,560
- What for?
234
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,480
- To propose to my girlfriend
with, maybe.
235
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,560
- (SQUEALS EXCITEDLY)
Haven't you changed your tune?
236
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:36,320
You told me it was an
outdated institution.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
237
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:41,160
Well, that was before I got old
and decided it was easier
to just conform.
238
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,360
- Natalie, this is major.
- (CHUCKLES)
239
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,280
- A wedding.
Oh, I'm thrilled for you both!
240
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,600
- Well, I might not use it,
so don't get your hopes up.
241
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,200
- Well, I won't buy my
'mother of the bride' hat yet.
242
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,240
Although, how does that work,
with two brides?
243
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,320
- God, that is beautiful.
244
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,920
- Your grandmother would be so
thrilled it's having another life.
245
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,920
Mind you, her stance on the gays
was slightly...
246
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,280
of its time.
- Homophobic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
247
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,280
Well, I'll just choose to
ignore that.
248
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,080
- That's the spirit. Block it out!
249
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,320
Keep the memories fun!
- (LAUGHS)
250
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,000
Hi, baby.
- Hey.
- How are you?
251
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,120
- Look at me. I am sitting
upright on the couch.
252
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:36,000
I am eating a cheese sandwich
and keeping it down. Today...
253
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,600
is an extremely good day.
- The kids home?
254
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,240
- No.
255
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,840
- Do I spy a little...
256
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:50,720
afternoon delight on the horizon?
- Hmm. Well...
- Eh?
257
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:55,480
- ...unless this weather changes,
you might be right.
258
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,080
- (SMOOCHES)
259
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,840
- But— But...
260
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:05,080
I actually do have to talk to you
about something first.
261
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,480
- Oh... K.
262
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,280
Boner killer. (LAUGHS)
- Just hold on to it.
It'll be quick, I promise.
263
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,040
It's just— I was chatting with Dad...
- Mm.
264
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,320
-...and he was saying that
it's probably a good idea
265
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:20,640
if we clear things up for Johnny
in terms of his, like, involvement
moving forward.
266
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,640
- This has Shelly
written all over it.
- Well, yeah, Shelly's across it,
267
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,800
but I actually also think
it's a really good idea.
- Why?
268
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,160
What, she— Is Shelly worried that
I'm gonna, like, lose my mind and
run off with Johnny or something?
269
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,000
- No, it's not that at all.
- Oh, come on.
270
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,840
She didn't want him to be the donor.
She's never really trusted him.
- It's just about making things...
271
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,960
really clear and transparent
for the sake of our children.
272
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,520
- Oh wow.
273
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,600
They really are worried.
274
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:48,640
- Well, it's— it's a contract, babe,
so it is a good thing, I think.
275
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,600
And, you know, legal frameworks
are my love language.
276
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,600
- She doesn't trust me.
277
00:14:54,680 --> 00:15:00,400
- She doesn't trust anybody.
But this is about protecting us
and our children.
278
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,400
- From Johnny?
279
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,000
- Well, anything could
happen, babe. Like...
280
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,400
I could get addicted to meth.
- What?!
281
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,840
- Yeah. And Johnny
could get a brain tumour.
282
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,280
- Johnny's brain is fine.
- Well, yeah.
- He's a Sudoku king.
283
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,840
- Yeah, it's fine for now,
but you never know, and you
have to think about this stuff.
284
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,440
It's important to think about it.
- Baby...
285
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,720
We have made Johnny...
286
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,960
jizz into... so many
receptacles, OK?
- I know.
287
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,880
And now...
288
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:34,400
we're gonna ask him to
sign a contract because
your mum is worried? He...
289
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,000
He's like my brother, you know?
- Yeah, I know.
290
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:41,720
And, look, I am not worried that
you guys are gonna run off together.
291
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,240
- Cool.
292
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,240
So...
293
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,240
- (CHUCKLES DRILY)
(PAPER CLANGS LIGHTLY)
294
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,240
- Nothin' but net.
295
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,360
Then we can just go back to...
296
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,960
what we were doing before,
which was...
- Yeah.
297
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:59,480
- I believe we were in the, sort of,
throes of passion on the couch,
weren't we?
298
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,880
- Yeah, I think there was a bit of...
- Passion being thrown?
299
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,320
- ...a bit of passion
being thrown around, so...
300
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,880
- Oh, Johnny...
- Oh!
301
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,360
- I mean Steph! Oh my God!
- (LAUGHS)
302
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,960
- Like, I'm just getting
so confused. Where's the contract?
303
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,600
I should sign it.
- (LAUGHS) Shut up.
Shut up. Come here.
304
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:19,880
- Put it in me, Johnny.
- (SQUEALS, LAUGHS)
That's actually gross! (LAUGHS)
305
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,840
That lipstick looks really nice.
- Oh.
306
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,680
I knew you would say something.
I knew it.
307
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,080
- No, babe, it suits you.
I said it looks nice.
308
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,800
- This is why I don't wear lipstick,
because people, you know,
309
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:38,680
mention it, and then I get
all self-conscious, and...
- Nat, you look great.
310
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,000
(CUTLERY CLATTERS ON GLASS)
- Ooh. Sorry.
311
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,880
- Are you all right?
I feel like you're about to get down
on one knee and propose or something.
312
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,680
- (CHUCKLES)
313
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,800
Why? Is that...
something you'd be into, or...
314
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,000
- (CHUCKLES) No. Most definitely not.
315
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,040
- But... not even a little bit?
316
00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,240
- No. God, no.
317
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:03,960
I actually think the only reason
people ever do say yes when
they're proposed to in restaurants
318
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,320
is cos they know if they play along,
they might get a free dessert.
319
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,480
- (CHUCKLES) What, do you think
people get engaged
320
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:15,440
because they want free creme brulee?
- Yeah, creme brulee and attention.
321
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,400
You know, they're the kinds of people
who didn't get cast in their
high school musical,
322
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,840
and so now they wanna have
their day in the sun, get dressed up
323
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,120
and take photos in
a beautiful field of wheat.
324
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:30,600
- Wow. But the vows and the—
you know, the speeches and...
325
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:34,600
you know, watching family members
cry for the first time — it's nice.
326
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:39,600
- It just hardly ever works out.
So then you've set yourself up
for failure, publicly,
327
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,800
for absolutely no reason,
and then you find yourself
squabbling over steak knives.
328
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,000
I've just seen it happen
so many times.
329
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,560
- How are we going for drinks?
- Oh, fine, thank you.
330
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,840
I will just stick with
sparkling water. Thank you.
331
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,840
- I'll have a prosecco.
332
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,880
- Will you?
- Yeah. Yeah, I can have one.
Yeah, I'll have a prosecco.
333
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,080
- I'll get those for you now.
Thank you.
334
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,800
- I'll just sip it.
335
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,320
(KEYS CLACK)
336
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,440
- (CLEARS THROAT)
337
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:17,880
- (CHUCKLES) Hello. Uh,
I don't think I ordered a stripper.
338
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,520
- Nah, actually, I got a referral
for a potential en suite.
339
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,040
- Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, sure. Yeah. Come in.
340
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,560
- Yeah. This your place?
- Yeah, yeah. Have a look.
- OK. Cool. Yeah.
341
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,400
Bit young to be owning
a place like this one, eh?
342
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:31,520
- Yeah, well, you know, what can I
say, sir? I've sold a lot of, um...
343
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,280
drugs.
- Oh, yeah?
344
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,760
You know, I think my friend
actually came through the other day,
345
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:40,320
and he might have, uh, quoted you
something really crazy for the
en suite. Is that right?
346
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,040
- Yeah. Yeah, that guy. Yeah.
He was really rude to me too.
347
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,040
- Oh.
- Mm. Yeah.
348
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,600
- I'll tell you what.
349
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,920
I'll do it for free.
350
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,120
- Are you serious?
- CHUCKLES: Yeah.
351
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,960
- Johnny, are you serious?
- Yeah. I figure we have to
look out for each other.
352
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,200
- Yes! Oh, yeah! Thanks!
- Considering we're the
353
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,680
irresponsible, childless
adults of the house.
- Yeah, exactly.
354
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,840
- It is gonna take ages, though, cos
I can only do it on the weekends.
355
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:06,920
- That's all right.
- OK.
356
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,840
- Who cares? And, you know,
I can help you build.
357
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,040
- OK. Yeah, maybe.
What are you gonna do with that?
358
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,800
- Dunno. Cut a wall down, or...
- OK.
359
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,200
Well, um, we'll put some plans
together, and then you can cut away.
360
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,920
- OK.
361
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,920
Eee!
- (CHUCKLES)
362
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,520
(DOOR OPENS)
363
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,520
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Oh!
- Is someone in there?
364
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,640
- Sorry.
- Shit, is someone in there?
- Sorry. Shit. Um... Sorry.
365
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,400
Sorry.
- Sorry! I wasn't sure if
someone was in there. I'm busting.
366
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,000
- Oh. No, yeah.
- Ooh, you dropped this.
367
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,960
- Oh, thank you.
(CHUCKLES) All yours.
- Thanks, doll.
368
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,840
(DOOR CLOSES)
- (EXHALES HEAVILY)
369
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,160
- Wait. Was that an engagement ring?
370
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,760
- Uh... yeah.
371
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,000
- Oh my God. I got goosebumps.
- (CHUCKLES)
372
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:56,280
- Wait, did someone just propose
to you, or are you proposing?
373
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,760
- Um...
374
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,200
I— I was gonna propose, actually.
375
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,000
- Cool.
376
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,400
- Yeah, to my— my girlfriend.
377
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:08,000
- ADORINGLY: Oh my God.
To your girlfriend?
(TOILET FLUSHES)
378
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
That's so beautiful.
379
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,240
God, I'm welling up. (LAUGHS)
380
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:18,360
(SIGHS) I love looking at videos
of lesbian weddings online,
cos you can see two dress options.
381
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,360
(BOTH LAUGH)
382
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:25,320
Sorry, I've had a few. (LAUGHS)
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah. That's OK.
383
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:29,120
Yeah, I'm just, uh... I'm just
trying to work out if it's a...
384
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,120
stupid idea or not.
385
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,640
- But love is stupid.
386
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,960
- I mean... yeah.
387
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,240
Yeah, I guess.
- Like, every choice
we make in love is stupid.
388
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,640
It's cos you have to lead with
your heart and not your head.
389
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,640
- Yeah, I guess.
- Mm.
390
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,400
- She's— I dunno. She's not really
into these sorts of things, so...
391
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:52,680
Yeah, I don't know
if she'll go for it.
- Yeah, but do you love her?
392
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,160
- Yeah.
- Yeah? Does she love you?
393
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,360
- Yes.
- How can you be sure?
394
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,600
- Um, well, she tells me
all the time...
- Mm.
395
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,040
- ...and she wants to
start a family with me.
396
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,040
And...
397
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,720
(CHUCKLES QUIETLY)
398
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,440
This— This probably sounds stupid.
- No. (CHUCKLES)
399
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:18,840
- But she does this thing
where even if she only has,
like, a small amount of dinner,
400
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,320
she lets me try some, which...
401
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,480
just always...
402
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,600
makes me happy.
403
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,240
- Then she'll be stupid enough
to say yes.
404
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,240
- Thank you.
405
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,160
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
(CHUCKLES QUIETLY)
406
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,920
(SOFT ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)
407
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,560
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
408
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:50,000
- Hey, what were the bathrooms like?
Do they have hand cream
as well as soap?
409
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,360
What's going on?
410
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,360
Oh my God.
- Stephanie...
411
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,720
- Oh my God. What are you doing?
- ...Margaret Anne Douglas...
412
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,960
- What are you doing, babe?
- ...will you do me
the honour of a lifetime...
413
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,960
- SOFTLY: Oh shit.
414
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:08,800
- ...sharing...
415
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,640
a creme brulee? (LAUGHS)
416
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,640
- Oh my God.
417
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,280
- (LAUGHS)
- Get up.
418
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,000
- I'm not gonna get up
until you say yes.
- Yes.
419
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,680
- Oh my God! Babe! Aah!
- (LAUGHS)
420
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,000
No. No. This is mine.
- (LAUGHS) Babe! No, no.
421
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,600
I want that. I want that.
Get away from it. Get away from it.
422
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,600
(BOTH LAUGH)
- Get away from my turf.
423
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,160
Yum.
424
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:35,120
(GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC
CONTINUES)
38160
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