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1
00:00:12,735 --> 00:00:14,735
Mm.
2
00:00:18,881 --> 00:00:20,852
Gave us a load of free ones
'cause I told them that it's--
3
00:00:20,885 --> 00:00:22,253
-Told them what?
-Mm-mm.
4
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,698
Just... how much
we like condiments. Mm.
5
00:00:33,844 --> 00:00:35,844
[clears throat]
6
00:00:36,817 --> 00:00:38,353
-This is nice.
-Hmm.
7
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:39,723
[worker] Two haddock,
one saveloy!
8
00:00:39,756 --> 00:00:41,860
Oh. Oh, this is good fish.
9
00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:45,630
Mmm.
10
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,137
Mmm.
11
00:00:48,574 --> 00:00:49,642
Batter's good and all.
12
00:00:53,349 --> 00:00:54,920
And the chips.
13
00:00:54,953 --> 00:00:57,826
-Good chips. Good, um--
-Good color.
14
00:00:57,859 --> 00:01:00,163
Thank you. Not too pale.
15
00:01:00,196 --> 00:01:01,600
Look, you all wanted me
to do something,
16
00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:03,470
so this is something
we're doing, so let's just
17
00:01:03,503 --> 00:01:05,742
get this done
and forget about it, okay?
18
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,578
Move on. Great.
19
00:01:08,279 --> 00:01:10,685
But, Mum, your 50th birthday,
though, isn't--
20
00:01:10,718 --> 00:01:13,289
Can you... You don't need
to keep saying it.
21
00:01:13,322 --> 00:01:14,525
-What?
-The fucking number, Luke.
22
00:01:14,559 --> 00:01:16,528
You know what? Fucking 50.
23
00:01:19,234 --> 00:01:21,505
Can you pass me one of
the 5 billion vinegars, please?
24
00:01:22,775 --> 00:01:26,516
Thanks very much.
For fuck's sake.
25
00:01:26,550 --> 00:01:29,890
[worker] Uh, two fish pies,
one cod roe!
26
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,194
Would have thought you'd have
a bit of fish today, Luke.
27
00:01:32,227 --> 00:01:33,798
-Special occasion.
-He's a vegetarian.
28
00:01:33,831 --> 00:01:36,269
Mm. Fish, though. I mean...
29
00:01:36,302 --> 00:01:37,972
Fish actually grieve
their dead.
30
00:01:38,005 --> 00:01:40,343
-Do they?
-They release a stress hormone.
31
00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:41,846
Jesus Christ, Luke.
32
00:01:42,414 --> 00:01:45,822
Sorry. Hasan says
it's your 50th, love.
33
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:46,957
Happy birthday.
34
00:01:46,990 --> 00:01:48,728
-Well...
-[Hasan] Happy birthday!
35
00:01:48,761 --> 00:01:51,734
The big 5-0! Yay!
36
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:53,336
Hey, thanks, everyone.
37
00:01:53,369 --> 00:01:55,206
[Hasan]
One steak pie, two cod!
38
00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:09,001
-You gonna try 'em on?
-I'm mid gingernut.
39
00:02:09,034 --> 00:02:12,776
Well, I can't stand looking
at those other things anymore.
40
00:02:12,809 --> 00:02:15,447
They turn my stomach.
41
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,518
There's nothing wrong
with these.
42
00:02:17,552 --> 00:02:20,792
They make you look
like you never bathe,
43
00:02:20,825 --> 00:02:23,731
like a hippie or a squirrel.
44
00:02:23,764 --> 00:02:26,002
You can wear your new shoes
to your 80th party, Granddad.
45
00:02:26,035 --> 00:02:27,939
There's not enough time
to break them in.
46
00:02:27,972 --> 00:02:30,309
Brogues are notoriously stiff.
47
00:02:31,178 --> 00:02:33,483
No one's ever run
a marathon in Brogues.
48
00:02:33,516 --> 00:02:35,655
We're getting
our photo taken tomorrow.
49
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:38,727
They've got a photographer
coming in. Professional.
50
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,534
He took one of those photos
of Dodi and Diana on the boat,
51
00:02:42,568 --> 00:02:44,505
but he mainly does
this sort of thing now.
52
00:02:44,538 --> 00:02:46,008
-[doorbell rings]
-I'll get it.
53
00:02:49,414 --> 00:02:51,414
[door opens]
54
00:02:52,354 --> 00:02:53,522
Hello.
55
00:02:54,057 --> 00:02:56,228
Oh. Holly.
I'm here to do Jim's hair.
56
00:02:58,734 --> 00:03:01,472
Am I coming in,
or is he gonna stick his head
57
00:03:01,505 --> 00:03:02,809
around the door,
and I'll do it here?
58
00:03:02,842 --> 00:03:04,842
Oh, sorry.
59
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:12,929
Uh... Okay. Your vehicle
breaks down in a tunnel.
60
00:03:12,962 --> 00:03:14,699
-Spooky.
-What would do you do first?
61
00:03:14,732 --> 00:03:16,737
A, get out of the car
and stand behind it
62
00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:18,674
to show other drivers
that you're not moving?
63
00:03:18,707 --> 00:03:20,912
Obviously not.
That is... That's mental.
64
00:03:20,945 --> 00:03:22,849
B, switch on your hazards
and call your breakdown company.
65
00:03:22,882 --> 00:03:24,451
[horn honks]
66
00:03:24,953 --> 00:03:28,026
-All right, shit.
-Okay. Please pass, Luke.
67
00:03:28,059 --> 00:03:30,330
Please. I just... I don't
wanna be one of those mums
68
00:03:30,363 --> 00:03:31,666
that gives birth
on the floor of a bus.
69
00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:33,904
Don't worry. I will pass.
70
00:03:35,975 --> 00:03:37,344
-Love you.
-Love you, too.
71
00:03:37,377 --> 00:03:38,412
Okay.
72
00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:44,058
[exhales deeply]
Thanks for this.
73
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:46,597
You're welcome, mate. Mate,
do... do you want to drive?
74
00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:49,067
Um, no, I should--I'll keep
revising in the car.
75
00:03:50,604 --> 00:03:52,441
-Right.
-[sighs]
76
00:03:52,474 --> 00:03:54,474
Okay.
77
00:03:55,681 --> 00:03:57,585
It's quite a process.
78
00:03:57,618 --> 00:03:59,989
She's gonna blast me ends in
a minute with the men's dryer.
79
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:04,699
I got a special hair dryer
for the guys.
80
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,404
They got stronger hair,
haven't they, men?
81
00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:08,908
Only need a little breeze
for the ladies.
82
00:04:08,941 --> 00:04:10,545
Knock 'em over, otherwise.
83
00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:12,682
I'm just gonna walk
round the perimeter.
84
00:04:12,715 --> 00:04:15,353
One of the great
English walks, that.
85
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,528
[Ava] Bye, Granny.
86
00:04:21,498 --> 00:04:23,604
-15 and some shrapnel.
-Oh.
87
00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:25,608
I'm afraid the accumulator
didn't come up, though.
88
00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:28,345
Hey, 15 quid's not bad
at all. Thanks, Holly.
89
00:04:28,947 --> 00:04:31,987
I can't get to the bookies' now,
so Holly goes for me.
90
00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:34,625
Okay. This whole thing
makes more sense now.
91
00:04:35,661 --> 00:04:36,830
What?
92
00:04:36,863 --> 00:04:38,701
He's only got, like,
eight hairs.
93
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:40,470
-Ooh.
-And I'm working my magic
94
00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:42,709
on all eight of them,
thank you very much.
95
00:04:42,742 --> 00:04:45,013
-She can do yours after.
-But only eight?
96
00:04:45,046 --> 00:04:46,550
Yeah, you've got
to pick your favorites.
97
00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:47,885
[chuckles]
98
00:04:48,854 --> 00:04:52,728
You got great hair.
I could do yours for real.
99
00:04:53,262 --> 00:04:54,865
I'm always after people to
practice on for sixth form.
100
00:04:56,736 --> 00:04:58,439
Thank you, Holly.
101
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:01,613
Holly's helpin' organize
my 80th birthday party.
102
00:05:01,646 --> 00:05:04,018
You two should swap numbers.
103
00:05:04,051 --> 00:05:06,823
Chat sausage rolls
and quiche and whatnot.
104
00:05:06,856 --> 00:05:10,496
Yeah, go on then.
Stick your number in there.
105
00:05:12,935 --> 00:05:14,839
-[sighs] Buckle up, Jim.
-[hair dryer turns on]
106
00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:20,952
And you've come to us
via the...
107
00:05:20,985 --> 00:05:22,755
-[watch beeps]
-...inimitable Darren?
108
00:05:22,788 --> 00:05:25,661
Ah, yeah. There can only be
one Darren, thank God.
109
00:05:25,694 --> 00:05:26,997
[both chuckle]
110
00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:29,669
-[watch beeps]
-And he's your business partner?
111
00:05:29,702 --> 00:05:33,076
-Silent partner?
-I mean, silent's the goal.
112
00:05:33,109 --> 00:05:35,447
Yeah, if I can get him
to shut up for five minutes.
113
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,885
[both chuckle]
114
00:05:37,918 --> 00:05:39,889
-Oh, your coffee.
-Gosh.
115
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,062
Mm.
116
00:05:43,095 --> 00:05:44,999
Wow. Thanks.
117
00:05:46,468 --> 00:05:47,771
Thank you. Thanks.
118
00:05:48,707 --> 00:05:50,076
Ooh.
119
00:05:50,109 --> 00:05:51,913
Is that for me, too?
Thanks. Thanks.
120
00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:55,052
It's lovely.
121
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,591
Thanks.
122
00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:00,797
Thanks. Thank you.
123
00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,605
-[watch beeps]
-Please.
124
00:06:07,645 --> 00:06:10,685
So, we're super keen to
throw open the doors here,
125
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:14,693
get as much wisdom
in the room as possible.
126
00:06:14,726 --> 00:06:15,861
Sorry. You okay?
127
00:06:15,894 --> 00:06:17,230
Yeah. Yeah, no, I was...
128
00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:19,134
I'm just gonna let it
cool down for a bit
129
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:21,105
'cause it's very, very,
very hot. [chuckles]
130
00:06:21,138 --> 00:06:23,744
-What we're excited by...
-[watch beeping]
131
00:06:23,777 --> 00:06:27,885
...is the sheer breadth
of your experience.
132
00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:29,856
We think that that is something
133
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:33,028
-we could really feed from here.
-[watch beeps]
134
00:06:33,462 --> 00:06:36,102
Great. Well,
I would love to, um...
135
00:06:36,135 --> 00:06:39,809
well... [stammers] feed you,
I suppose. [chuckles]
136
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,012
-[chuckles]
-That's great.
137
00:06:41,045 --> 00:06:42,514
-Mm.
-Yeah. She's great.
138
00:06:42,548 --> 00:06:43,583
-Yeah.
-[watch beeps]
139
00:06:50,631 --> 00:06:52,133
Mmm, that smells complicated.
140
00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:54,572
-How was it?
-I got it. They love me.
141
00:06:54,605 --> 00:06:56,977
-Oh! Great. Well done.
-[laughs]
142
00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,045
They offered me
the job on the spot.
143
00:06:58,079 --> 00:07:00,584
They didn't even wanna
see the other candidates.
144
00:07:00,617 --> 00:07:02,855
Ah, mate, well,
that calls for a drink.
145
00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:04,692
Uh, Luke has
some good news, too.
146
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,164
-Oh, yeah.
-I, uh, I passed my theory.
147
00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:09,869
Oh, Luke, that's amazing.
You must be so relieved.
148
00:07:09,902 --> 00:07:11,539
-Yeah, I am.
-Oh.
149
00:07:11,573 --> 00:07:12,742
Still gotta do
my practical, though.
150
00:07:12,775 --> 00:07:14,278
Oh, you'll be fine.
151
00:07:14,311 --> 00:07:15,881
[Paul] Um, Maya, is apple juice
all right for you?
152
00:07:15,914 --> 00:07:17,217
[Maya] Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
153
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:19,250
Did you get one of these?
154
00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:21,058
What am I looking at?
155
00:07:21,091 --> 00:07:23,797
It's a walking holiday, Paul.
Look at them.
156
00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:25,634
They seem very happy.
157
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,003
This is my demographic now,
158
00:07:27,036 --> 00:07:29,274
these guys.
Swimming costume off.
159
00:07:29,307 --> 00:07:31,947
I'm going on holiday
in a fucking cagoule now, am I?
160
00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:33,684
Look, just chuck it.
161
00:07:33,717 --> 00:07:35,921
It's junk. I get
that stuff all the time.
162
00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:38,694
-Am I on some sort of register?
-Fuckin' hope not.
163
00:07:38,727 --> 00:07:40,163
Oh, they're gonna try
and sell me a little chair
164
00:07:40,196 --> 00:07:41,733
for the shower next,
aren't they?
165
00:07:41,766 --> 00:07:43,737
Oh, sounds fucking lovely,
to be fair.
166
00:07:43,770 --> 00:07:46,108
-[sighs]
-I'll take them.
167
00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:47,979
-Yeah.
-Ah, shit, just remembered.
168
00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:51,185
I've got to get more booze for
Dad's thing. Drink up. Drink up.
169
00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:52,755
You know he started having
his hair done regularly?
170
00:07:52,788 --> 00:07:54,057
-Mm.
-Can you get a blue rinse
171
00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:55,260
for a bald head?
172
00:07:55,293 --> 00:07:57,130
Holly says no one
has them anymore.
173
00:07:57,163 --> 00:07:59,034
They all get this
demi wave thing because
174
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:02,073
your hair thins as you age.
You lose, like, 70% volume.
175
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,811
Holly says it's better
just to chop it off
176
00:08:03,844 --> 00:08:05,781
after a certain point.
It's just wisps otherwise.
177
00:08:05,814 --> 00:08:07,985
-Right. Uh--
-Holly's granddad's hairdresser.
178
00:08:08,018 --> 00:08:10,023
Well, not just Granddad's.
She does all of them.
179
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,260
She's paying her way
through sixth form.
180
00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:14,030
She's full-time now.
Well, four days a week.
181
00:08:15,868 --> 00:08:19,208
Right. A toast... [chuckles]
to Mum and Luke.
182
00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:20,744
-Aw.
-Mum and Luke.
183
00:08:20,777 --> 00:08:21,980
Yes.
184
00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:23,851
Hey, mate,
play your cards right,
185
00:08:23,884 --> 00:08:25,086
you'll be driving her
to work on her first day.
186
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,259
[photographer] Lovely.
187
00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:30,798
Just look over to me
again, Bobby.
188
00:08:30,831 --> 00:08:32,768
How long is this gonna take?
189
00:08:32,801 --> 00:08:36,142
Well, they can't rush it, Jim.
It's a proper portrait.
190
00:08:36,175 --> 00:08:39,148
Portrait? Who am I,
Henry the fucking VIII?
191
00:08:39,181 --> 00:08:40,584
Hello.
192
00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:43,624
I don't know why you won't
put your new shoes on.
193
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,663
Jesus, Jackie, they're not gonna
get me shoes in it, are they?
194
00:08:46,696 --> 00:08:49,201
-It'll be from the knees up.
-But what if it isn't?
195
00:08:49,234 --> 00:08:51,138
What if it's, you know,
what's it called?
196
00:08:51,171 --> 00:08:54,244
-Full frontal?
-Full length.
197
00:08:54,813 --> 00:08:56,616
-All right, Holly.
-Hello.
198
00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:59,053
I'm gonna give Leslie
a quick zhuzh.
199
00:08:59,755 --> 00:09:03,162
She doesn't need a zhuzh.
She needs a defibrillator.
200
00:09:03,195 --> 00:09:04,833
-Hmm.
-[photographer] Lovely bow tie.
201
00:09:04,866 --> 00:09:08,239
Be nice for Luke and Ava
to have a proper photo of us.
202
00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:12,815
They've already got one of us
in Mitcham at the carvery.
203
00:09:12,848 --> 00:09:14,819
[scoffs] What,
and you'd want that printed
204
00:09:14,852 --> 00:09:17,190
alongside your obituary,
would you?
205
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,796
[gasps] Look, Jimmy's
getting his shoe in it.
206
00:09:19,829 --> 00:09:21,232
Big smile! Excellent.
207
00:09:21,265 --> 00:09:22,869
Oh, I don't know why
you won't put your shoes--
208
00:09:22,902 --> 00:09:24,772
Because they're me
last shoes, aren't they?
209
00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,745
I've had these ones seven years,
210
00:09:27,778 --> 00:09:29,347
so the next pair
will be me last.
211
00:09:29,749 --> 00:09:33,355
-They're a dead man's shoes.
-Just a pair of shoes.
212
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:36,128
It's the pair of shoes
I'm gonna be buried in.
213
00:09:36,161 --> 00:09:37,665
[photographer] Thank you.
How's everything?
214
00:09:37,698 --> 00:09:41,740
Well, I'm not burying you
in those old ones.
215
00:09:41,773 --> 00:09:46,081
I'd rather you went in barefoot
or in my slippers.
216
00:09:46,616 --> 00:09:50,223
I can't put the new ones on,
Jackie. Not yet.
217
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,864
[photographer] Right.
Let's try a fun one, shall we?
218
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:56,201
-[laughs] That's brilliant.
-Oh, for crying out loud.
219
00:09:56,234 --> 00:09:57,303
[photographer] Can I have
the next victim, please?
220
00:10:02,046 --> 00:10:04,818
[door opens,
indistinct conversations]
221
00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:07,992
Hey. Are...
Are they finished?
222
00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,328
Oh, no, they're still queuing.
223
00:10:09,361 --> 00:10:11,432
Is Mr. January
doing his nude shots?
224
00:10:11,465 --> 00:10:14,204
[laughs] Yes. It's getting
very steamy in there.
225
00:10:14,237 --> 00:10:16,375
-[chuckles]
-I was gonna get a tea
226
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,680
-if you want one.
-Sure.
227
00:10:29,234 --> 00:10:34,746
Susie's back in town!
Hooray! [laughs]
228
00:10:34,779 --> 00:10:36,482
What was it? A wedding?
Any good?
229
00:10:36,515 --> 00:10:38,887
Oh, six out of 10.
Could do better.
230
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,425
Ooh. God, you forget the vicar
might be judging you.
231
00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:43,830
Well, they didn't bring out
those canapés quick enough.
232
00:10:43,863 --> 00:10:45,199
It's like,
I'm not saying long, lads.
233
00:10:45,232 --> 00:10:47,436
-Get the arancini balls movin'!
-[chuckles]
234
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,780
I only started coming
for a bit of extra cash,
235
00:10:51,813 --> 00:10:54,986
but turns out
I love old people.
236
00:10:55,019 --> 00:10:57,959
They are excellent,
the ones I know, anyway.
237
00:10:57,992 --> 00:11:01,065
They're just so good
at chilling. Look at 'em.
238
00:11:01,098 --> 00:11:05,139
They've been there for hours,
just lookin', thinkin',
239
00:11:05,172 --> 00:11:06,843
appreciatin' the small things,
you know?
240
00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:09,181
Is it possible that they
can't actually get up?
241
00:11:09,214 --> 00:11:10,985
Maybe we should
check their pulses.
242
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,957
[laughs] Are you disrespecting
Gwen and Michael?
243
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:15,493
You're lucky Gwen ain't
got her hearing aids in.
244
00:11:15,526 --> 00:11:16,762
[laughs]
245
00:11:18,365 --> 00:11:20,470
That's all I want.
You know, simple stuff.
246
00:11:20,503 --> 00:11:22,942
Nice house.
247
00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:24,778
Nice girlfriend. Nice dog.
248
00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:31,960
I've always wanted a dog,
but it wouldn't be fair on it.
249
00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:33,229
Living in a city?
250
00:11:33,262 --> 00:11:35,132
-No, living with my dad.
-[laughs]
251
00:11:36,468 --> 00:11:41,278
-So, what you do for fun?
-I don't know.
252
00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:44,484
I've never been great
at having fun.
253
00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:47,824
-Maybe I'm too serious.
-Uh, bollocks. You're hilarious.
254
00:11:48,225 --> 00:11:50,831
But I mean,
you should have a hobby.
255
00:11:50,864 --> 00:11:53,837
-Like what?
-I don't know. Pick one.
256
00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:55,841
Uh... roller skatin'?
257
00:11:55,874 --> 00:11:57,377
-Roller skatin'?
-Yeah.
258
00:11:57,410 --> 00:11:59,314
I haven't been either, so...
259
00:11:59,347 --> 00:12:01,084
we could...
break our legs together?
260
00:12:03,021 --> 00:12:05,827
They're probably done by now,
and I said I... I should go in.
261
00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:09,534
Yeah, okay. Well, I'll...
see you at the party, then.
262
00:12:09,568 --> 00:12:11,037
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
263
00:12:19,054 --> 00:12:20,356
Bag. [chuckles]
264
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,135
-[bartender] Afternoon, love.
-Hi, can I--
265
00:12:26,168 --> 00:12:27,905
-What can I get you?
-A red wine, please.
266
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:30,276
[cellphone rings]
267
00:12:30,309 --> 00:12:32,080
[sighs]
268
00:12:32,113 --> 00:12:35,453
Hi, Darren. Yeah. No, yeah,
it went brilliantly, thanks.
269
00:12:35,486 --> 00:12:38,191
Yeah. Oh, did they?
Oh, that's good.
270
00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:41,999
Sorry. What do you mean?
271
00:12:43,603 --> 00:12:45,607
Are you joking me?
272
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,412
You better be fucking
joking me, Darren.
273
00:12:48,445 --> 00:12:50,416
[inhales and exhales deeply]
274
00:12:52,588 --> 00:12:54,559
I don't even think
I should look, really,
275
00:12:54,592 --> 00:12:56,161
you know, until I've passed.
276
00:12:56,194 --> 00:12:57,932
Well, you're not gonna
jinx yourself by staring
277
00:12:57,965 --> 00:12:59,200
at a Renault Clio
for 10 minutes.
278
00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,577
Sort of want to know
who the owner was.
279
00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:05,079
Yeah, you probably don't.
280
00:13:05,112 --> 00:13:06,482
-How we gettin' on?
-Jesus.
281
00:13:06,515 --> 00:13:08,119
Uh, yeah, just looking.
Cheers. Yeah.
282
00:13:08,152 --> 00:13:10,356
Yeah, for you, is it?
Little back and forth to uni?
283
00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,928
Just want the safest one,
really.
284
00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:14,999
-It's, uh, it's for a baby.
-Don't let a baby drive it,
285
00:13:15,032 --> 00:13:16,135
for God's sake.
They haven't really got
286
00:13:16,168 --> 00:13:18,005
the hand-eye coordination
for that.
287
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:19,407
-Well, that's exciting stuff.
-Hmm.
288
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,440
Yeah. Congratulations.
289
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,650
So, we're just gonna have
a little, uh, mooch about.
290
00:13:23,683 --> 00:13:25,386
You're gonna wanna
look at boot space.
291
00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:27,123
-Gotcha.
-Yeah. Babies need a lot of kit.
292
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:28,392
-Right. [chuckles]
-Honestly, whether you're
293
00:13:28,425 --> 00:13:30,096
going out for three hours
or three weeks,
294
00:13:30,129 --> 00:13:31,666
-it's the same amount of stuff.
-Yeah.
295
00:13:31,699 --> 00:13:34,237
-Come on. Let's have a look.
-Why did you...
296
00:13:37,243 --> 00:13:38,647
No, we're not buying this one.
297
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,149
You could fit in there,
you could,
298
00:13:40,182 --> 00:13:41,418
and he's gonna want to,
isn't he, Dad, hey?
299
00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:44,224
Get a bit of peace and quiet.
Come on.
300
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:45,927
Let's have a poke around
at her insides, shall we?
301
00:13:47,564 --> 00:13:50,503
-I'm gonna fucking kill him!
-Well, I'll be your alibi.
302
00:13:50,536 --> 00:13:53,042
Well, they'll believe me
because privilege.
303
00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:56,081
-And he definitely knew before?
-Yeah, they told him 'cause
304
00:13:56,114 --> 00:13:58,620
they've had shit from their HR
guys about ageism or whatever,
305
00:13:58,653 --> 00:14:02,293
so he's wheeled me in
like a rescue hag.
306
00:14:02,326 --> 00:14:05,634
They just needed someone
over my... my age.
307
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:08,239
-Over 50?
-[groans]
308
00:14:08,272 --> 00:14:09,709
[chuckles] You're gonna have
to say it at some point.
309
00:14:09,742 --> 00:14:11,378
Let's get another
50 bottles of this, then.
310
00:14:11,411 --> 00:14:13,649
-All right, I'm on it.
-Nearly done.
311
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,423
Did anything grab you
back there?
312
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,329
Quite like the idea
of being locked in a boot.
313
00:14:20,362 --> 00:14:22,300
[chuckles] No, me, too.
314
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,537
A cross between a spa
and a kidnapping.
315
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,143
-You're driving.
-What?
316
00:14:27,176 --> 00:14:29,176
-Ta.
-No...
317
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,600
[sighs]
318
00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:45,213
-You all right?
-Yeah. Just, um... sometimes
319
00:14:45,246 --> 00:14:47,150
feel like my elbows get
in the way. Where... Where...
320
00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:49,054
-Where do you put yours?
-Where do I put them?
321
00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:50,456
-Yeah.
-In the glove compartment.
322
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,695
That way I know where
they are. Oh, right.
323
00:14:52,728 --> 00:14:55,032
He's... He's letting you out,
so do you want to go right here?
324
00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:57,065
-Yeah.
-Great.
325
00:14:57,470 --> 00:14:58,739
[Paul] Good, good, good.
Thanks, mate.
326
00:15:00,476 --> 00:15:02,476
Lovely.
327
00:15:03,248 --> 00:15:04,619
Very good. Very good, mate.
328
00:15:04,652 --> 00:15:05,987
Just pick up your speed
a little bit.
329
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,192
Uh, this is a really fast road.
330
00:15:08,225 --> 00:15:10,196
It's not really fast.
It's a... It's a 30,
331
00:15:10,229 --> 00:15:12,433
so just... yeah, put...
put your foot down, mate.
332
00:15:12,466 --> 00:15:14,170
Dad, I can't. I need...
I need to stop.
333
00:15:14,203 --> 00:15:16,174
Luke, Luke, just calm down. Keep
going straight along this road.
334
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,112
-Shit. I can't. Dad, I can't.
-No, you don't... Just...
335
00:15:18,145 --> 00:15:20,049
-I... I need to pull over.
-Luke, you don't have
336
00:15:20,082 --> 00:15:22,053
-to pull over, darling.
-Listen to what I'm telling you.
337
00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:23,455
Dad, I can't do it!
338
00:15:23,488 --> 00:15:26,528
Luke, calm the fuck down
just for a second, mate.
339
00:15:26,562 --> 00:15:28,065
-There's no need to pull over.
-I'm not doing that.
340
00:15:28,098 --> 00:15:29,568
Luke, carry on now.
Don't fucking stop.
341
00:15:31,706 --> 00:15:33,041
[horn honks in distance]
342
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,051
-[car door closes]
-[exhales deeply]
343
00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:45,432
-You all right?
-[sighs] Can't do it, Dad.
344
00:15:45,834 --> 00:15:47,738
Well, it would help if
you sat in the actual car.
345
00:15:47,771 --> 00:15:49,541
No, I mean,
I can't do any of it.
346
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,411
I'm not... I'm not ready.
347
00:15:51,444 --> 00:15:52,615
Well, you're gonna have
to be, aren't you, Luke?
348
00:15:52,648 --> 00:15:54,284
Because it's happening, son,
349
00:15:54,317 --> 00:15:56,623
and it's happening
pretty fucking soon.
350
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,629
So I just... I learn to drive,
and then I get a car,
351
00:15:59,662 --> 00:16:02,199
and then...
I'm just a dad then, am I?
352
00:16:02,466 --> 00:16:03,603
Basically, yes.
353
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,711
It's scary. I know.
I'm still scared.
354
00:16:07,744 --> 00:16:09,113
That bit never goes.
355
00:16:11,719 --> 00:16:13,823
-All right, what should I say?
-Short and sweet.
356
00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:15,627
Just, "Fuck off."
357
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:18,265
-Yeah.
-Subject heading. nothing else.
358
00:16:18,298 --> 00:16:21,104
Perfect. That'll just
really freak 'em out.
359
00:16:21,137 --> 00:16:23,442
Your skills are wasted on Jesus.
360
00:16:23,475 --> 00:16:25,647
"Fuck off."
361
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,617
-Send.
-[cellphone clatters]
362
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:33,495
You don't have to feel ready
for it, 'cause no one does.
363
00:16:33,897 --> 00:16:36,468
You just... uh...
You just do it.
364
00:16:36,501 --> 00:16:38,707
You get up in the morning,
365
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:41,178
and you... you just do it
best you can.
366
00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,081
And some days it will be...
367
00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:46,589
Uh... well, it'll be
fucking horrific...
368
00:16:46,622 --> 00:16:48,459
[laughs]
to be honest with you.
369
00:16:48,492 --> 00:16:51,599
You'll wanna put your head
through a wall, but...
370
00:16:51,632 --> 00:16:54,404
much of the time...
371
00:16:54,437 --> 00:16:56,408
it'll feel magical, mate.
372
00:16:56,441 --> 00:16:59,180
Like you're gonna meet
this little person,
373
00:16:59,213 --> 00:17:01,619
and you are going
to lose your mind
374
00:17:01,652 --> 00:17:03,521
in the most brilliant way.
375
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,694
And listen, don't forget, mate,
376
00:17:05,727 --> 00:17:08,767
me and Mum will be with you
every step of the way.
377
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,703
We can still be the grownups
when you need us to be. Okay?
378
00:17:14,812 --> 00:17:16,414
[cellphone chimes]
379
00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:21,158
Now, come on.
380
00:17:21,191 --> 00:17:22,695
Mum said she's had
three bottles of wine
381
00:17:22,728 --> 00:17:24,130
and not enough crisps.
382
00:17:25,466 --> 00:17:26,903
[whimsical music playing
over computer]
383
00:17:26,936 --> 00:17:28,305
-Mm, this bit. Wait, hang on.
-[cat meows on video]
384
00:17:29,808 --> 00:17:31,812
[laughs] Yeah, this is it.
385
00:17:32,013 --> 00:17:33,616
[cellphone buttons clicking]
386
00:17:33,649 --> 00:17:35,921
[whimsical music,
meowing continues on video]
387
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:38,559
-Who are you messaging?
-No one.
388
00:17:39,895 --> 00:17:41,733
You're... You're smiling
at your phone.
389
00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:43,937
It's just for Granddad's thing.
390
00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:45,205
Someone from
the sheltered housing.
391
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:51,184
She's called Holly.
She's the hairdresser there.
392
00:17:51,217 --> 00:17:55,259
-She's very funny.
-[laughs] Oh, my God.
393
00:17:55,292 --> 00:17:57,865
-What?
-You like her.
394
00:17:57,898 --> 00:17:59,501
What? I don't... No! Stop it.
395
00:17:59,534 --> 00:18:01,672
-Ava!
-It's really nothing, Grace.
396
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:02,841
Don't make it weird.
397
00:18:04,978 --> 00:18:08,887
[cellphone buttons
resume clicking]
398
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,920
[messaging bloops]
399
00:18:12,661 --> 00:18:14,497
I mean, you are literally
400
00:18:14,530 --> 00:18:16,535
holding your phone
to your heart.
401
00:18:16,569 --> 00:18:17,871
-[cellphone clatters]
-[chuckles]
402
00:18:26,454 --> 00:18:28,793
-Hi, darling.
-Hi!
403
00:18:28,826 --> 00:18:31,498
-Nice time?
-Ah, so nice.
404
00:18:31,531 --> 00:18:32,634
How's Susie?
405
00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:34,403
-So nice!
-Good.
406
00:18:35,539 --> 00:18:36,642
So nice.
407
00:18:36,675 --> 00:18:38,512
[seat belt clunking]
408
00:18:38,546 --> 00:18:39,915
[Ally grunts]
409
00:18:39,948 --> 00:18:41,418
You all right?
410
00:18:41,451 --> 00:18:43,723
-Fine.
-[seat belt clacking]
411
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,628
-I'm just gonna hold it.
-No, don't hold it. Just...
412
00:18:47,329 --> 00:18:50,937
Ooh! You coming in
for a little kissy?
413
00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:53,442
No, 'cause you're 40% proof,
aren't you, babe?
414
00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:55,012
Right. Can I just get
under your ass? Thank you.
415
00:18:55,045 --> 00:18:57,651
Oh, don't go in it. Ahh!
416
00:18:57,684 --> 00:18:59,788
-[laughs]
-[sighs and chuckles]
417
00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:02,761
-Okay.
-[seat belt clicks]
418
00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:06,803
-[sighs] I quit that job.
-Excuse me?
419
00:19:06,836 --> 00:19:08,573
Yeah, I'm not doing that,
420
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,811
looking at me like
I'm fucking 90,
421
00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:12,844
and I don't want to
work there, anyway.
422
00:19:12,844 --> 00:19:14,952
They've got weird space coffee.
423
00:19:14,985 --> 00:19:18,492
It's very hot in here. Where's
the wind-y window thingy?
424
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,730
There isn't a windy--
When did you quit this job?
425
00:19:20,763 --> 00:19:22,901
Just now. I wrote
a really good email.
426
00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:25,673
Susie edited-it-it... it.
427
00:19:25,974 --> 00:19:29,414
-Susie edited it.
-Susie did?
428
00:19:29,447 --> 00:19:30,584
-Yeah.
-Great.
429
00:19:30,617 --> 00:19:32,453
Two piss-heads
are better than one.
430
00:19:32,486 --> 00:19:34,959
-Oh, my God! Luke is driving!
-Yeah, uh...
431
00:19:34,992 --> 00:19:36,996
Yep. Don't put him off.
He's doing really well.
432
00:19:37,029 --> 00:19:39,367
-Can you slow it down a second?
-Yeah, please.
433
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,739
[moans] I feel a bit sick.
434
00:19:41,772 --> 00:19:44,310
[laughs]
435
00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:47,416
One, two, three,
four, five, six.
436
00:19:47,784 --> 00:19:49,622
I love toast.
437
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,725
Give me some toast.
I love toast.
438
00:19:57,938 --> 00:19:59,340
I haven't got time
to wait for that.
439
00:19:59,373 --> 00:20:01,373
I'll be dead soon, won't I?
440
00:20:01,373 --> 00:20:01,745
Everything's... Oh.
441
00:20:03,048 --> 00:20:05,519
Yes, Queens!
442
00:20:05,553 --> 00:20:06,989
Hi, Ally.
443
00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:08,058
-[laughs]
-Steady.
444
00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:09,762
[Ally] It's fun.
445
00:20:09,795 --> 00:20:11,331
Is she okay?
446
00:20:11,364 --> 00:20:14,003
Yeah. She's just
feeling a bit 50.
447
00:20:14,938 --> 00:20:17,811
Oh. [moans]
448
00:20:17,844 --> 00:20:19,614
Oh, God.
449
00:20:28,933 --> 00:20:31,638
[chuckles] Fuck.
And there it is.
450
00:20:32,039 --> 00:20:34,911
The reason that we don't
drink like that anymore.
451
00:20:35,914 --> 00:20:38,620
Oh, God. Was I horrific?
452
00:20:38,653 --> 00:20:40,624
Yeah. No. You--You were
very merry, actually,
453
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,360
for someone who's
just told their new boss
454
00:20:42,393 --> 00:20:45,432
to fuck off and done
a little sick out the car.
455
00:20:45,465 --> 00:20:47,737
-Fuck. What is wrong with me?
-Ah, nothin'.
456
00:20:48,405 --> 00:20:51,546
I hate turning 50.
I wanna turn back.
457
00:20:51,579 --> 00:20:54,919
Look, I... I wasn't keen
on 50 when it hit either,
458
00:20:54,952 --> 00:20:57,591
but I know this is a cliché.
459
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,093
It's a lot better
than the alternative.
460
00:20:59,828 --> 00:21:01,030
Mm.
461
00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:06,541
Everything's going too fast.
I can't...
462
00:21:06,575 --> 00:21:08,145
-Yeah.
-[sighs]
463
00:21:08,178 --> 00:21:10,784
I sort of feel like
we've had the good bit.
464
00:21:10,817 --> 00:21:12,554
Do you know what I mean? But...
465
00:21:13,288 --> 00:21:15,392
I don't know what
I'm doing anymore.
466
00:21:17,096 --> 00:21:19,067
-I miss Luke.
-Mm-hmm.
467
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:23,408
I mean, I'm gonna be
a fucking grandma.
468
00:21:23,441 --> 00:21:24,945
That just sounds weird.
469
00:21:24,978 --> 00:21:30,121
That's like saying I'm gonna
be a... horse or something.
470
00:21:31,592 --> 00:21:33,495
-Nay.
-[laughs]
471
00:21:33,528 --> 00:21:36,636
[laughs] Fuck off. Ow.
I can't laugh.
472
00:21:36,669 --> 00:21:38,004
Ow. [laughs]
473
00:21:40,475 --> 00:21:42,981
Right, I'm going to pop out
and pick up some things
474
00:21:43,014 --> 00:21:44,551
for Dad's birthday do, okay?
475
00:21:44,584 --> 00:21:47,858
So, just sleep, Shergar. Sleep.
476
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:49,561
[chuckles]
477
00:21:49,594 --> 00:21:51,594
Fuck off.
478
00:21:58,044 --> 00:21:59,782
[clicks tongue]
479
00:21:59,815 --> 00:22:00,950
[sighs]
480
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:06,127
[grunting]
481
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:10,468
[grunts]
482
00:22:15,747 --> 00:22:16,815
[wheezes]
483
00:22:22,059 --> 00:22:23,663
[exhales deeply]
484
00:22:23,696 --> 00:22:26,602
Pushes all the air out of me,
tying me laces.
485
00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:29,473
[grunts]
486
00:22:33,181 --> 00:22:35,152
You look very handsome.
487
00:22:35,185 --> 00:22:36,454
[exhales deeply]
488
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,657
Shall we?
489
00:22:43,535 --> 00:22:44,938
-[Ally] God, it's so quiet.
-[Luke] Mm.
490
00:22:44,971 --> 00:22:47,076
Old people generally are,
I think.
491
00:22:47,109 --> 00:22:49,480
-Luke, do you wanna open it?
-Yes.
492
00:22:49,513 --> 00:22:51,051
-After you.
-Right. Thanks.
493
00:22:51,084 --> 00:22:53,188
-Surprise!
-[cheering]
494
00:22:53,221 --> 00:22:55,860
-Oh!
-Happy 130th.
495
00:22:56,161 --> 00:22:57,964
Oh, my God.
496
00:22:57,997 --> 00:23:02,540
Wow. Okay. Okay.
497
00:23:02,574 --> 00:23:03,976
Two "okay"s?
That's potentially not okay.
498
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:05,647
This is very brave, Paul.
499
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,550
Yeah, the fucking adrenaline
walking up the street.
500
00:23:08,218 --> 00:23:10,690
-[sighs]
-Uh, look, 80 plus 50. That's...
501
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,126
-130, yeah.
-Yeah.
502
00:23:12,159 --> 00:23:15,065
-That number's not bad, is it?
-Um...
503
00:23:15,098 --> 00:23:16,968
-Ava.
-[Ava] Hello.
504
00:23:17,971 --> 00:23:19,675
Do you hate it?
505
00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:23,181
No, no, I don't hate it.
I love it. It's... It's...
506
00:23:23,214 --> 00:23:25,519
It's brilliant. Thank you.
507
00:23:25,553 --> 00:23:27,691
-Happy birthday, Mum.
-Oh, thanks. [chuckles]
508
00:23:27,724 --> 00:23:30,095
[applause]
509
00:23:30,128 --> 00:23:32,801
-Happy birthday.
-[chuckles]
510
00:23:32,834 --> 00:23:35,205
Happy birthday, Jim.
[laughs]
511
00:23:35,238 --> 00:23:37,076
Happy birthday, Ally.
[chuckles]
512
00:23:37,109 --> 00:23:39,213
They get better
as you get older.
513
00:23:39,246 --> 00:23:41,719
-That's a lie. They get worse.
-[chuckles]
514
00:23:41,752 --> 00:23:43,556
-Happy birthday, darling.
-Oh, thank you.
515
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:46,595
-Mm.
-Thanks so much. Oh. Hey!
516
00:23:46,628 --> 00:23:49,133
Well done, darling,
putting on a brave face.
517
00:23:49,166 --> 00:23:50,703
[lowered voice]
Put me in one of these places,
518
00:23:50,736 --> 00:23:53,842
-I'll fucking kill you.
-Wow. Good to know. Okay.
519
00:23:55,847 --> 00:23:58,886
[sighs]
520
00:23:58,919 --> 00:24:01,257
Thank you.
[chuckles] I love you.
521
00:24:01,290 --> 00:24:02,960
I love you, too.
522
00:24:04,631 --> 00:24:06,602
-[resident] Whoa!
-[residents gasp]
523
00:24:06,635 --> 00:24:08,271
Yeah. All right. Don't all
pretend like you're not
524
00:24:08,304 --> 00:24:10,876
all at it like rabbits.
I saw it on Panorama.
525
00:24:11,778 --> 00:24:15,787
Hey, um, listen, I'm... I'm so
sorry for quitting that job.
526
00:24:15,820 --> 00:24:18,325
You just... You can't
put a price on pride.
527
00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:21,163
No, I know. But if you
could put a price on it...
528
00:24:21,732 --> 00:24:23,969
[inhales sharply] 15 grand
for two months' work.
529
00:24:25,807 --> 00:24:27,042
-Really?
-Yeah.
530
00:24:27,075 --> 00:24:28,078
You can't be angry
with me, though,
531
00:24:28,111 --> 00:24:30,583
'cause it's my party.
532
00:24:30,616 --> 00:24:31,752
-Okay.
-[laughs]
533
00:24:31,785 --> 00:24:33,288
[grunts]
534
00:24:33,321 --> 00:24:35,593
-Uh, I'm gonna pick up tea.
-Okay.
535
00:24:35,626 --> 00:24:36,662
-Or a sherry.
-[Ally laughs]
536
00:24:36,695 --> 00:24:37,864
Hi, Mum.
537
00:24:38,566 --> 00:24:41,337
[exhales deeply]
80. Bloody hell.
538
00:24:41,370 --> 00:24:43,575
It's a lot of years.
539
00:24:43,809 --> 00:24:48,018
[mouth full] It goes by very
fast, Ava. Lightnin' speed.
540
00:24:48,051 --> 00:24:49,353
You can't hang about.
541
00:24:49,386 --> 00:24:52,627
Got to grab life
by the short and curlies,
542
00:24:52,660 --> 00:24:54,330
if I'm still allowed
to say that.
543
00:24:54,363 --> 00:24:56,363
I think you are.
544
00:24:56,363 --> 00:24:58,940
[singer vocalizing]
545
00:24:58,973 --> 00:25:02,580
[vocalizing continues
in distance]
546
00:25:04,651 --> 00:25:07,055
[vocalizing grows louder]
547
00:25:08,358 --> 00:25:09,661
[vocalizing continues
in distance]
548
00:25:20,015 --> 00:25:21,183
Hey.
549
00:25:21,785 --> 00:25:24,223
Hey. Sorry.
Just had to get away
550
00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:26,194
from the intense partying
for a bit.
551
00:25:26,227 --> 00:25:28,064
Holly, would you like
to go on a date with me?
552
00:25:29,768 --> 00:25:31,805
Yeah. I'd...
I'd like that a lot.
553
00:25:32,372 --> 00:25:33,775
Good.
554
00:25:34,443 --> 00:25:35,646
May I kiss you?
555
00:25:37,115 --> 00:25:38,752
You absolutely fucking may.
41172
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