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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,735 --> 00:00:14,735 Mm. 2 00:00:18,881 --> 00:00:20,852 Gave us a load of free ones 'cause I told them that it's-- 3 00:00:20,885 --> 00:00:22,253 -Told them what? -Mm-mm. 4 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,698 Just... how much we like condiments. Mm. 5 00:00:33,844 --> 00:00:35,844 [clears throat] 6 00:00:36,817 --> 00:00:38,353 -This is nice. -Hmm. 7 00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:39,723 [worker] Two haddock, one saveloy! 8 00:00:39,756 --> 00:00:41,860 Oh. Oh, this is good fish. 9 00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:45,630 Mmm. 10 00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,137 Mmm. 11 00:00:48,574 --> 00:00:49,642 Batter's good and all. 12 00:00:53,349 --> 00:00:54,920 And the chips. 13 00:00:54,953 --> 00:00:57,826 -Good chips. Good, um-- -Good color. 14 00:00:57,859 --> 00:01:00,163 Thank you. Not too pale. 15 00:01:00,196 --> 00:01:01,600 Look, you all wanted me to do something, 16 00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:03,470 so this is something we're doing, so let's just 17 00:01:03,503 --> 00:01:05,742 get this done and forget about it, okay? 18 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,578 Move on. Great. 19 00:01:08,279 --> 00:01:10,685 But, Mum, your 50th birthday, though, isn't-- 20 00:01:10,718 --> 00:01:13,289 Can you... You don't need to keep saying it. 21 00:01:13,322 --> 00:01:14,525 -What? -The fucking number, Luke. 22 00:01:14,559 --> 00:01:16,528 You know what? Fucking 50. 23 00:01:19,234 --> 00:01:21,505 Can you pass me one of the 5 billion vinegars, please? 24 00:01:22,775 --> 00:01:26,516 Thanks very much. For fuck's sake. 25 00:01:26,550 --> 00:01:29,890 [worker] Uh, two fish pies, one cod roe! 26 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,194 Would have thought you'd have a bit of fish today, Luke. 27 00:01:32,227 --> 00:01:33,798 -Special occasion. -He's a vegetarian. 28 00:01:33,831 --> 00:01:36,269 Mm. Fish, though. I mean... 29 00:01:36,302 --> 00:01:37,972 Fish actually grieve their dead. 30 00:01:38,005 --> 00:01:40,343 -Do they? -They release a stress hormone. 31 00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:41,846 Jesus Christ, Luke. 32 00:01:42,414 --> 00:01:45,822 Sorry. Hasan says it's your 50th, love. 33 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:46,957 Happy birthday. 34 00:01:46,990 --> 00:01:48,728 -Well... -[Hasan] Happy birthday! 35 00:01:48,761 --> 00:01:51,734 The big 5-0! Yay! 36 00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:53,336 Hey, thanks, everyone. 37 00:01:53,369 --> 00:01:55,206 [Hasan] One steak pie, two cod! 38 00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:09,001 -You gonna try 'em on? -I'm mid gingernut. 39 00:02:09,034 --> 00:02:12,776 Well, I can't stand looking at those other things anymore. 40 00:02:12,809 --> 00:02:15,447 They turn my stomach. 41 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,518 There's nothing wrong with these. 42 00:02:17,552 --> 00:02:20,792 They make you look like you never bathe, 43 00:02:20,825 --> 00:02:23,731 like a hippie or a squirrel. 44 00:02:23,764 --> 00:02:26,002 You can wear your new shoes to your 80th party, Granddad. 45 00:02:26,035 --> 00:02:27,939 There's not enough time to break them in. 46 00:02:27,972 --> 00:02:30,309 Brogues are notoriously stiff. 47 00:02:31,178 --> 00:02:33,483 No one's ever run a marathon in Brogues. 48 00:02:33,516 --> 00:02:35,655 We're getting our photo taken tomorrow. 49 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:38,727 They've got a photographer coming in. Professional. 50 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,534 He took one of those photos of Dodi and Diana on the boat, 51 00:02:42,568 --> 00:02:44,505 but he mainly does this sort of thing now. 52 00:02:44,538 --> 00:02:46,008 -[doorbell rings] -I'll get it. 53 00:02:49,414 --> 00:02:51,414 [door opens] 54 00:02:52,354 --> 00:02:53,522 Hello. 55 00:02:54,057 --> 00:02:56,228 Oh. Holly. I'm here to do Jim's hair. 56 00:02:58,734 --> 00:03:01,472 Am I coming in, or is he gonna stick his head 57 00:03:01,505 --> 00:03:02,809 around the door, and I'll do it here? 58 00:03:02,842 --> 00:03:04,842 Oh, sorry. 59 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:12,929 Uh... Okay. Your vehicle breaks down in a tunnel. 60 00:03:12,962 --> 00:03:14,699 -Spooky. -What would do you do first? 61 00:03:14,732 --> 00:03:16,737 A, get out of the car and stand behind it 62 00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:18,674 to show other drivers that you're not moving? 63 00:03:18,707 --> 00:03:20,912 Obviously not. That is... That's mental. 64 00:03:20,945 --> 00:03:22,849 B, switch on your hazards and call your breakdown company. 65 00:03:22,882 --> 00:03:24,451 [horn honks] 66 00:03:24,953 --> 00:03:28,026 -All right, shit. -Okay. Please pass, Luke. 67 00:03:28,059 --> 00:03:30,330 Please. I just... I don't wanna be one of those mums 68 00:03:30,363 --> 00:03:31,666 that gives birth on the floor of a bus. 69 00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:33,904 Don't worry. I will pass. 70 00:03:35,975 --> 00:03:37,344 -Love you. -Love you, too. 71 00:03:37,377 --> 00:03:38,412 Okay. 72 00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:44,058 [exhales deeply] Thanks for this. 73 00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:46,597 You're welcome, mate. Mate, do... do you want to drive? 74 00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:49,067 Um, no, I should--I'll keep revising in the car. 75 00:03:50,604 --> 00:03:52,441 -Right. -[sighs] 76 00:03:52,474 --> 00:03:54,474 Okay. 77 00:03:55,681 --> 00:03:57,585 It's quite a process. 78 00:03:57,618 --> 00:03:59,989 She's gonna blast me ends in a minute with the men's dryer. 79 00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:04,699 I got a special hair dryer for the guys. 80 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,404 They got stronger hair, haven't they, men? 81 00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:08,908 Only need a little breeze for the ladies. 82 00:04:08,941 --> 00:04:10,545 Knock 'em over, otherwise. 83 00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:12,682 I'm just gonna walk round the perimeter. 84 00:04:12,715 --> 00:04:15,353 One of the great English walks, that. 85 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,528 [Ava] Bye, Granny. 86 00:04:21,498 --> 00:04:23,604 -15 and some shrapnel. -Oh. 87 00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:25,608 I'm afraid the accumulator didn't come up, though. 88 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:28,345 Hey, 15 quid's not bad at all. Thanks, Holly. 89 00:04:28,947 --> 00:04:31,987 I can't get to the bookies' now, so Holly goes for me. 90 00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:34,625 Okay. This whole thing makes more sense now. 91 00:04:35,661 --> 00:04:36,830 What? 92 00:04:36,863 --> 00:04:38,701 He's only got, like, eight hairs. 93 00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:40,470 -Ooh. -And I'm working my magic 94 00:04:40,503 --> 00:04:42,709 on all eight of them, thank you very much. 95 00:04:42,742 --> 00:04:45,013 -She can do yours after. -But only eight? 96 00:04:45,046 --> 00:04:46,550 Yeah, you've got to pick your favorites. 97 00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:47,885 [chuckles] 98 00:04:48,854 --> 00:04:52,728 You got great hair. I could do yours for real. 99 00:04:53,262 --> 00:04:54,865 I'm always after people to practice on for sixth form. 100 00:04:56,736 --> 00:04:58,439 Thank you, Holly. 101 00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:01,613 Holly's helpin' organize my 80th birthday party. 102 00:05:01,646 --> 00:05:04,018 You two should swap numbers. 103 00:05:04,051 --> 00:05:06,823 Chat sausage rolls and quiche and whatnot. 104 00:05:06,856 --> 00:05:10,496 Yeah, go on then. Stick your number in there. 105 00:05:12,935 --> 00:05:14,839 -[sighs] Buckle up, Jim. -[hair dryer turns on] 106 00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:20,952 And you've come to us via the... 107 00:05:20,985 --> 00:05:22,755 -[watch beeps] -...inimitable Darren? 108 00:05:22,788 --> 00:05:25,661 Ah, yeah. There can only be one Darren, thank God. 109 00:05:25,694 --> 00:05:26,997 [both chuckle] 110 00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:29,669 -[watch beeps] -And he's your business partner? 111 00:05:29,702 --> 00:05:33,076 -Silent partner? -I mean, silent's the goal. 112 00:05:33,109 --> 00:05:35,447 Yeah, if I can get him to shut up for five minutes. 113 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,885 [both chuckle] 114 00:05:37,918 --> 00:05:39,889 -Oh, your coffee. -Gosh. 115 00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,062 Mm. 116 00:05:43,095 --> 00:05:44,999 Wow. Thanks. 117 00:05:46,468 --> 00:05:47,771 Thank you. Thanks. 118 00:05:48,707 --> 00:05:50,076 Ooh. 119 00:05:50,109 --> 00:05:51,913 Is that for me, too? Thanks. Thanks. 120 00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:55,052 It's lovely. 121 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,591 Thanks. 122 00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:00,797 Thanks. Thank you. 123 00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,605 -[watch beeps] -Please. 124 00:06:07,645 --> 00:06:10,685 So, we're super keen to throw open the doors here, 125 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:14,693 get as much wisdom in the room as possible. 126 00:06:14,726 --> 00:06:15,861 Sorry. You okay? 127 00:06:15,894 --> 00:06:17,230 Yeah. Yeah, no, I was... 128 00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:19,134 I'm just gonna let it cool down for a bit 129 00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:21,105 'cause it's very, very, very hot. [chuckles] 130 00:06:21,138 --> 00:06:23,744 -What we're excited by... -[watch beeping] 131 00:06:23,777 --> 00:06:27,885 ...is the sheer breadth of your experience. 132 00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:29,856 We think that that is something 133 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:33,028 -we could really feed from here. -[watch beeps] 134 00:06:33,462 --> 00:06:36,102 Great. Well, I would love to, um... 135 00:06:36,135 --> 00:06:39,809 well... [stammers] feed you, I suppose. [chuckles] 136 00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,012 -[chuckles] -That's great. 137 00:06:41,045 --> 00:06:42,514 -Mm. -Yeah. She's great. 138 00:06:42,548 --> 00:06:43,583 -Yeah. -[watch beeps] 139 00:06:50,631 --> 00:06:52,133 Mmm, that smells complicated. 140 00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:54,572 -How was it? -I got it. They love me. 141 00:06:54,605 --> 00:06:56,977 -Oh! Great. Well done. -[laughs] 142 00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,045 They offered me the job on the spot. 143 00:06:58,079 --> 00:07:00,584 They didn't even wanna see the other candidates. 144 00:07:00,617 --> 00:07:02,855 Ah, mate, well, that calls for a drink. 145 00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:04,692 Uh, Luke has some good news, too. 146 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,164 -Oh, yeah. -I, uh, I passed my theory. 147 00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:09,869 Oh, Luke, that's amazing. You must be so relieved. 148 00:07:09,902 --> 00:07:11,539 -Yeah, I am. -Oh. 149 00:07:11,573 --> 00:07:12,742 Still gotta do my practical, though. 150 00:07:12,775 --> 00:07:14,278 Oh, you'll be fine. 151 00:07:14,311 --> 00:07:15,881 [Paul] Um, Maya, is apple juice all right for you? 152 00:07:15,914 --> 00:07:17,217 [Maya] Yeah, yeah. Thanks. 153 00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:19,250 Did you get one of these? 154 00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:21,058 What am I looking at? 155 00:07:21,091 --> 00:07:23,797 It's a walking holiday, Paul. Look at them. 156 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:25,634 They seem very happy. 157 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,003 This is my demographic now, 158 00:07:27,036 --> 00:07:29,274 these guys. Swimming costume off. 159 00:07:29,307 --> 00:07:31,947 I'm going on holiday in a fucking cagoule now, am I? 160 00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:33,684 Look, just chuck it. 161 00:07:33,717 --> 00:07:35,921 It's junk. I get that stuff all the time. 162 00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:38,694 -Am I on some sort of register? -Fuckin' hope not. 163 00:07:38,727 --> 00:07:40,163 Oh, they're gonna try and sell me a little chair 164 00:07:40,196 --> 00:07:41,733 for the shower next, aren't they? 165 00:07:41,766 --> 00:07:43,737 Oh, sounds fucking lovely, to be fair. 166 00:07:43,770 --> 00:07:46,108 -[sighs] -I'll take them. 167 00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:47,979 -Yeah. -Ah, shit, just remembered. 168 00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:51,185 I've got to get more booze for Dad's thing. Drink up. Drink up. 169 00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:52,755 You know he started having his hair done regularly? 170 00:07:52,788 --> 00:07:54,057 -Mm. -Can you get a blue rinse 171 00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:55,260 for a bald head? 172 00:07:55,293 --> 00:07:57,130 Holly says no one has them anymore. 173 00:07:57,163 --> 00:07:59,034 They all get this demi wave thing because 174 00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:02,073 your hair thins as you age. You lose, like, 70% volume. 175 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,811 Holly says it's better just to chop it off 176 00:08:03,844 --> 00:08:05,781 after a certain point. It's just wisps otherwise. 177 00:08:05,814 --> 00:08:07,985 -Right. Uh-- -Holly's granddad's hairdresser. 178 00:08:08,018 --> 00:08:10,023 Well, not just Granddad's. She does all of them. 179 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,260 She's paying her way through sixth form. 180 00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:14,030 She's full-time now. Well, four days a week. 181 00:08:15,868 --> 00:08:19,208 Right. A toast... [chuckles] to Mum and Luke. 182 00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:20,744 -Aw. -Mum and Luke. 183 00:08:20,777 --> 00:08:21,980 Yes. 184 00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:23,851 Hey, mate, play your cards right, 185 00:08:23,884 --> 00:08:25,086 you'll be driving her to work on her first day. 186 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,259 [photographer] Lovely. 187 00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:30,798 Just look over to me again, Bobby. 188 00:08:30,831 --> 00:08:32,768 How long is this gonna take? 189 00:08:32,801 --> 00:08:36,142 Well, they can't rush it, Jim. It's a proper portrait. 190 00:08:36,175 --> 00:08:39,148 Portrait? Who am I, Henry the fucking VIII? 191 00:08:39,181 --> 00:08:40,584 Hello. 192 00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:43,624 I don't know why you won't put your new shoes on. 193 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,663 Jesus, Jackie, they're not gonna get me shoes in it, are they? 194 00:08:46,696 --> 00:08:49,201 -It'll be from the knees up. -But what if it isn't? 195 00:08:49,234 --> 00:08:51,138 What if it's, you know, what's it called? 196 00:08:51,171 --> 00:08:54,244 -Full frontal? -Full length. 197 00:08:54,813 --> 00:08:56,616 -All right, Holly. -Hello. 198 00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:59,053 I'm gonna give Leslie a quick zhuzh. 199 00:08:59,755 --> 00:09:03,162 She doesn't need a zhuzh. She needs a defibrillator. 200 00:09:03,195 --> 00:09:04,833 -Hmm. -[photographer] Lovely bow tie. 201 00:09:04,866 --> 00:09:08,239 Be nice for Luke and Ava to have a proper photo of us. 202 00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:12,815 They've already got one of us in Mitcham at the carvery. 203 00:09:12,848 --> 00:09:14,819 [scoffs] What, and you'd want that printed 204 00:09:14,852 --> 00:09:17,190 alongside your obituary, would you? 205 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,796 [gasps] Look, Jimmy's getting his shoe in it. 206 00:09:19,829 --> 00:09:21,232 Big smile! Excellent. 207 00:09:21,265 --> 00:09:22,869 Oh, I don't know why you won't put your shoes-- 208 00:09:22,902 --> 00:09:24,772 Because they're me last shoes, aren't they? 209 00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,745 I've had these ones seven years, 210 00:09:27,778 --> 00:09:29,347 so the next pair will be me last. 211 00:09:29,749 --> 00:09:33,355 -They're a dead man's shoes. -Just a pair of shoes. 212 00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:36,128 It's the pair of shoes I'm gonna be buried in. 213 00:09:36,161 --> 00:09:37,665 [photographer] Thank you. How's everything? 214 00:09:37,698 --> 00:09:41,740 Well, I'm not burying you in those old ones. 215 00:09:41,773 --> 00:09:46,081 I'd rather you went in barefoot or in my slippers. 216 00:09:46,616 --> 00:09:50,223 I can't put the new ones on, Jackie. Not yet. 217 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,864 [photographer] Right. Let's try a fun one, shall we? 218 00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:56,201 -[laughs] That's brilliant. -Oh, for crying out loud. 219 00:09:56,234 --> 00:09:57,303 [photographer] Can I have the next victim, please? 220 00:10:02,046 --> 00:10:04,818 [door opens, indistinct conversations] 221 00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:07,992 Hey. Are... Are they finished? 222 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,328 Oh, no, they're still queuing. 223 00:10:09,361 --> 00:10:11,432 Is Mr. January doing his nude shots? 224 00:10:11,465 --> 00:10:14,204 [laughs] Yes. It's getting very steamy in there. 225 00:10:14,237 --> 00:10:16,375 -[chuckles] -I was gonna get a tea 226 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,680 -if you want one. -Sure. 227 00:10:29,234 --> 00:10:34,746 Susie's back in town! Hooray! [laughs] 228 00:10:34,779 --> 00:10:36,482 What was it? A wedding? Any good? 229 00:10:36,515 --> 00:10:38,887 Oh, six out of 10. Could do better. 230 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,425 Ooh. God, you forget the vicar might be judging you. 231 00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:43,830 Well, they didn't bring out those canapés quick enough. 232 00:10:43,863 --> 00:10:45,199 It's like, I'm not saying long, lads. 233 00:10:45,232 --> 00:10:47,436 -Get the arancini balls movin'! -[chuckles] 234 00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,780 I only started coming for a bit of extra cash, 235 00:10:51,813 --> 00:10:54,986 but turns out I love old people. 236 00:10:55,019 --> 00:10:57,959 They are excellent, the ones I know, anyway. 237 00:10:57,992 --> 00:11:01,065 They're just so good at chilling. Look at 'em. 238 00:11:01,098 --> 00:11:05,139 They've been there for hours, just lookin', thinkin', 239 00:11:05,172 --> 00:11:06,843 appreciatin' the small things, you know? 240 00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:09,181 Is it possible that they can't actually get up? 241 00:11:09,214 --> 00:11:10,985 Maybe we should check their pulses. 242 00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,957 [laughs] Are you disrespecting Gwen and Michael? 243 00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:15,493 You're lucky Gwen ain't got her hearing aids in. 244 00:11:15,526 --> 00:11:16,762 [laughs] 245 00:11:18,365 --> 00:11:20,470 That's all I want. You know, simple stuff. 246 00:11:20,503 --> 00:11:22,942 Nice house. 247 00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:24,778 Nice girlfriend. Nice dog. 248 00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:31,960 I've always wanted a dog, but it wouldn't be fair on it. 249 00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:33,229 Living in a city? 250 00:11:33,262 --> 00:11:35,132 -No, living with my dad. -[laughs] 251 00:11:36,468 --> 00:11:41,278 -So, what you do for fun? -I don't know. 252 00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:44,484 I've never been great at having fun. 253 00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:47,824 -Maybe I'm too serious. -Uh, bollocks. You're hilarious. 254 00:11:48,225 --> 00:11:50,831 But I mean, you should have a hobby. 255 00:11:50,864 --> 00:11:53,837 -Like what? -I don't know. Pick one. 256 00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:55,841 Uh... roller skatin'? 257 00:11:55,874 --> 00:11:57,377 -Roller skatin'? -Yeah. 258 00:11:57,410 --> 00:11:59,314 I haven't been either, so... 259 00:11:59,347 --> 00:12:01,084 we could... break our legs together? 260 00:12:03,021 --> 00:12:05,827 They're probably done by now, and I said I... I should go in. 261 00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:09,534 Yeah, okay. Well, I'll... see you at the party, then. 262 00:12:09,568 --> 00:12:11,037 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 263 00:12:19,054 --> 00:12:20,356 Bag. [chuckles] 264 00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,135 -[bartender] Afternoon, love. -Hi, can I-- 265 00:12:26,168 --> 00:12:27,905 -What can I get you? -A red wine, please. 266 00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:30,276 [cellphone rings] 267 00:12:30,309 --> 00:12:32,080 [sighs] 268 00:12:32,113 --> 00:12:35,453 Hi, Darren. Yeah. No, yeah, it went brilliantly, thanks. 269 00:12:35,486 --> 00:12:38,191 Yeah. Oh, did they? Oh, that's good. 270 00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:41,999 Sorry. What do you mean? 271 00:12:43,603 --> 00:12:45,607 Are you joking me? 272 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,412 You better be fucking joking me, Darren. 273 00:12:48,445 --> 00:12:50,416 [inhales and exhales deeply] 274 00:12:52,588 --> 00:12:54,559 I don't even think I should look, really, 275 00:12:54,592 --> 00:12:56,161 you know, until I've passed. 276 00:12:56,194 --> 00:12:57,932 Well, you're not gonna jinx yourself by staring 277 00:12:57,965 --> 00:12:59,200 at a Renault Clio for 10 minutes. 278 00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,577 Sort of want to know who the owner was. 279 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:05,079 Yeah, you probably don't. 280 00:13:05,112 --> 00:13:06,482 -How we gettin' on? -Jesus. 281 00:13:06,515 --> 00:13:08,119 Uh, yeah, just looking. Cheers. Yeah. 282 00:13:08,152 --> 00:13:10,356 Yeah, for you, is it? Little back and forth to uni? 283 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,928 Just want the safest one, really. 284 00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:14,999 -It's, uh, it's for a baby. -Don't let a baby drive it, 285 00:13:15,032 --> 00:13:16,135 for God's sake. They haven't really got 286 00:13:16,168 --> 00:13:18,005 the hand-eye coordination for that. 287 00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:19,407 -Well, that's exciting stuff. -Hmm. 288 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,440 Yeah. Congratulations. 289 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,650 So, we're just gonna have a little, uh, mooch about. 290 00:13:23,683 --> 00:13:25,386 You're gonna wanna look at boot space. 291 00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:27,123 -Gotcha. -Yeah. Babies need a lot of kit. 292 00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:28,392 -Right. [chuckles] -Honestly, whether you're 293 00:13:28,425 --> 00:13:30,096 going out for three hours or three weeks, 294 00:13:30,129 --> 00:13:31,666 -it's the same amount of stuff. -Yeah. 295 00:13:31,699 --> 00:13:34,237 -Come on. Let's have a look. -Why did you... 296 00:13:37,243 --> 00:13:38,647 No, we're not buying this one. 297 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,149 You could fit in there, you could, 298 00:13:40,182 --> 00:13:41,418 and he's gonna want to, isn't he, Dad, hey? 299 00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:44,224 Get a bit of peace and quiet. Come on. 300 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:45,927 Let's have a poke around at her insides, shall we? 301 00:13:47,564 --> 00:13:50,503 -I'm gonna fucking kill him! -Well, I'll be your alibi. 302 00:13:50,536 --> 00:13:53,042 Well, they'll believe me because privilege. 303 00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:56,081 -And he definitely knew before? -Yeah, they told him 'cause 304 00:13:56,114 --> 00:13:58,620 they've had shit from their HR guys about ageism or whatever, 305 00:13:58,653 --> 00:14:02,293 so he's wheeled me in like a rescue hag. 306 00:14:02,326 --> 00:14:05,634 They just needed someone over my... my age. 307 00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:08,239 -Over 50? -[groans] 308 00:14:08,272 --> 00:14:09,709 [chuckles] You're gonna have to say it at some point. 309 00:14:09,742 --> 00:14:11,378 Let's get another 50 bottles of this, then. 310 00:14:11,411 --> 00:14:13,649 -All right, I'm on it. -Nearly done. 311 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,423 Did anything grab you back there? 312 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,329 Quite like the idea of being locked in a boot. 313 00:14:20,362 --> 00:14:22,300 [chuckles] No, me, too. 314 00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,537 A cross between a spa and a kidnapping. 315 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,143 -You're driving. -What? 316 00:14:27,176 --> 00:14:29,176 -Ta. -No... 317 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,600 [sighs] 318 00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:45,213 -You all right? -Yeah. Just, um... sometimes 319 00:14:45,246 --> 00:14:47,150 feel like my elbows get in the way. Where... Where... 320 00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:49,054 -Where do you put yours? -Where do I put them? 321 00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:50,456 -Yeah. -In the glove compartment. 322 00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,695 That way I know where they are. Oh, right. 323 00:14:52,728 --> 00:14:55,032 He's... He's letting you out, so do you want to go right here? 324 00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:57,065 -Yeah. -Great. 325 00:14:57,470 --> 00:14:58,739 [Paul] Good, good, good. Thanks, mate. 326 00:15:00,476 --> 00:15:02,476 Lovely. 327 00:15:03,248 --> 00:15:04,619 Very good. Very good, mate. 328 00:15:04,652 --> 00:15:05,987 Just pick up your speed a little bit. 329 00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,192 Uh, this is a really fast road. 330 00:15:08,225 --> 00:15:10,196 It's not really fast. It's a... It's a 30, 331 00:15:10,229 --> 00:15:12,433 so just... yeah, put... put your foot down, mate. 332 00:15:12,466 --> 00:15:14,170 Dad, I can't. I need... I need to stop. 333 00:15:14,203 --> 00:15:16,174 Luke, Luke, just calm down. Keep going straight along this road. 334 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,112 -Shit. I can't. Dad, I can't. -No, you don't... Just... 335 00:15:18,145 --> 00:15:20,049 -I... I need to pull over. -Luke, you don't have 336 00:15:20,082 --> 00:15:22,053 -to pull over, darling. -Listen to what I'm telling you. 337 00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:23,455 Dad, I can't do it! 338 00:15:23,488 --> 00:15:26,528 Luke, calm the fuck down just for a second, mate. 339 00:15:26,562 --> 00:15:28,065 -There's no need to pull over. -I'm not doing that. 340 00:15:28,098 --> 00:15:29,568 Luke, carry on now. Don't fucking stop. 341 00:15:31,706 --> 00:15:33,041 [horn honks in distance] 342 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,051 -[car door closes] -[exhales deeply] 343 00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:45,432 -You all right? -[sighs] Can't do it, Dad. 344 00:15:45,834 --> 00:15:47,738 Well, it would help if you sat in the actual car. 345 00:15:47,771 --> 00:15:49,541 No, I mean, I can't do any of it. 346 00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,411 I'm not... I'm not ready. 347 00:15:51,444 --> 00:15:52,615 Well, you're gonna have to be, aren't you, Luke? 348 00:15:52,648 --> 00:15:54,284 Because it's happening, son, 349 00:15:54,317 --> 00:15:56,623 and it's happening pretty fucking soon. 350 00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:59,629 So I just... I learn to drive, and then I get a car, 351 00:15:59,662 --> 00:16:02,199 and then... I'm just a dad then, am I? 352 00:16:02,466 --> 00:16:03,603 Basically, yes. 353 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,711 It's scary. I know. I'm still scared. 354 00:16:07,744 --> 00:16:09,113 That bit never goes. 355 00:16:11,719 --> 00:16:13,823 -All right, what should I say? -Short and sweet. 356 00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:15,627 Just, "Fuck off." 357 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:18,265 -Yeah. -Subject heading. nothing else. 358 00:16:18,298 --> 00:16:21,104 Perfect. That'll just really freak 'em out. 359 00:16:21,137 --> 00:16:23,442 Your skills are wasted on Jesus. 360 00:16:23,475 --> 00:16:25,647 "Fuck off." 361 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,617 -Send. -[cellphone clatters] 362 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:33,495 You don't have to feel ready for it, 'cause no one does. 363 00:16:33,897 --> 00:16:36,468 You just... uh... You just do it. 364 00:16:36,501 --> 00:16:38,707 You get up in the morning, 365 00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:41,178 and you... you just do it best you can. 366 00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:43,081 And some days it will be... 367 00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:46,589 Uh... well, it'll be fucking horrific... 368 00:16:46,622 --> 00:16:48,459 [laughs] to be honest with you. 369 00:16:48,492 --> 00:16:51,599 You'll wanna put your head through a wall, but... 370 00:16:51,632 --> 00:16:54,404 much of the time... 371 00:16:54,437 --> 00:16:56,408 it'll feel magical, mate. 372 00:16:56,441 --> 00:16:59,180 Like you're gonna meet this little person, 373 00:16:59,213 --> 00:17:01,619 and you are going to lose your mind 374 00:17:01,652 --> 00:17:03,521 in the most brilliant way. 375 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,694 And listen, don't forget, mate, 376 00:17:05,727 --> 00:17:08,767 me and Mum will be with you every step of the way. 377 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,703 We can still be the grownups when you need us to be. Okay? 378 00:17:14,812 --> 00:17:16,414 [cellphone chimes] 379 00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:21,158 Now, come on. 380 00:17:21,191 --> 00:17:22,695 Mum said she's had three bottles of wine 381 00:17:22,728 --> 00:17:24,130 and not enough crisps. 382 00:17:25,466 --> 00:17:26,903 [whimsical music playing over computer] 383 00:17:26,936 --> 00:17:28,305 -Mm, this bit. Wait, hang on. -[cat meows on video] 384 00:17:29,808 --> 00:17:31,812 [laughs] Yeah, this is it. 385 00:17:32,013 --> 00:17:33,616 [cellphone buttons clicking] 386 00:17:33,649 --> 00:17:35,921 [whimsical music, meowing continues on video] 387 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:38,559 -Who are you messaging? -No one. 388 00:17:39,895 --> 00:17:41,733 You're... You're smiling at your phone. 389 00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:43,937 It's just for Granddad's thing. 390 00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:45,205 Someone from the sheltered housing. 391 00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:51,184 She's called Holly. She's the hairdresser there. 392 00:17:51,217 --> 00:17:55,259 -She's very funny. -[laughs] Oh, my God. 393 00:17:55,292 --> 00:17:57,865 -What? -You like her. 394 00:17:57,898 --> 00:17:59,501 What? I don't... No! Stop it. 395 00:17:59,534 --> 00:18:01,672 -Ava! -It's really nothing, Grace. 396 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:02,841 Don't make it weird. 397 00:18:04,978 --> 00:18:08,887 [cellphone buttons resume clicking] 398 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,920 [messaging bloops] 399 00:18:12,661 --> 00:18:14,497 I mean, you are literally 400 00:18:14,530 --> 00:18:16,535 holding your phone to your heart. 401 00:18:16,569 --> 00:18:17,871 -[cellphone clatters] -[chuckles] 402 00:18:26,454 --> 00:18:28,793 -Hi, darling. -Hi! 403 00:18:28,826 --> 00:18:31,498 -Nice time? -Ah, so nice. 404 00:18:31,531 --> 00:18:32,634 How's Susie? 405 00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:34,403 -So nice! -Good. 406 00:18:35,539 --> 00:18:36,642 So nice. 407 00:18:36,675 --> 00:18:38,512 [seat belt clunking] 408 00:18:38,546 --> 00:18:39,915 [Ally grunts] 409 00:18:39,948 --> 00:18:41,418 You all right? 410 00:18:41,451 --> 00:18:43,723 -Fine. -[seat belt clacking] 411 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,628 -I'm just gonna hold it. -No, don't hold it. Just... 412 00:18:47,329 --> 00:18:50,937 Ooh! You coming in for a little kissy? 413 00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:53,442 No, 'cause you're 40% proof, aren't you, babe? 414 00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:55,012 Right. Can I just get under your ass? Thank you. 415 00:18:55,045 --> 00:18:57,651 Oh, don't go in it. Ahh! 416 00:18:57,684 --> 00:18:59,788 -[laughs] -[sighs and chuckles] 417 00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:02,761 -Okay. -[seat belt clicks] 418 00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:06,803 -[sighs] I quit that job. -Excuse me? 419 00:19:06,836 --> 00:19:08,573 Yeah, I'm not doing that, 420 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,811 looking at me like I'm fucking 90, 421 00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:12,844 and I don't want to work there, anyway. 422 00:19:12,844 --> 00:19:14,952 They've got weird space coffee. 423 00:19:14,985 --> 00:19:18,492 It's very hot in here. Where's the wind-y window thingy? 424 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,730 There isn't a windy-- When did you quit this job? 425 00:19:20,763 --> 00:19:22,901 Just now. I wrote a really good email. 426 00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:25,673 Susie edited-it-it... it. 427 00:19:25,974 --> 00:19:29,414 -Susie edited it. -Susie did? 428 00:19:29,447 --> 00:19:30,584 -Yeah. -Great. 429 00:19:30,617 --> 00:19:32,453 Two piss-heads are better than one. 430 00:19:32,486 --> 00:19:34,959 -Oh, my God! Luke is driving! -Yeah, uh... 431 00:19:34,992 --> 00:19:36,996 Yep. Don't put him off. He's doing really well. 432 00:19:37,029 --> 00:19:39,367 -Can you slow it down a second? -Yeah, please. 433 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,739 [moans] I feel a bit sick. 434 00:19:41,772 --> 00:19:44,310 [laughs] 435 00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:47,416 One, two, three, four, five, six. 436 00:19:47,784 --> 00:19:49,622 I love toast. 437 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,725 Give me some toast. I love toast. 438 00:19:57,938 --> 00:19:59,340 I haven't got time to wait for that. 439 00:19:59,373 --> 00:20:01,373 I'll be dead soon, won't I? 440 00:20:01,373 --> 00:20:01,745 Everything's... Oh. 441 00:20:03,048 --> 00:20:05,519 Yes, Queens! 442 00:20:05,553 --> 00:20:06,989 Hi, Ally. 443 00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:08,058 -[laughs] -Steady. 444 00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:09,762 [Ally] It's fun. 445 00:20:09,795 --> 00:20:11,331 Is she okay? 446 00:20:11,364 --> 00:20:14,003 Yeah. She's just feeling a bit 50. 447 00:20:14,938 --> 00:20:17,811 Oh. [moans] 448 00:20:17,844 --> 00:20:19,614 Oh, God. 449 00:20:28,933 --> 00:20:31,638 [chuckles] Fuck. And there it is. 450 00:20:32,039 --> 00:20:34,911 The reason that we don't drink like that anymore. 451 00:20:35,914 --> 00:20:38,620 Oh, God. Was I horrific? 452 00:20:38,653 --> 00:20:40,624 Yeah. No. You--You were very merry, actually, 453 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,360 for someone who's just told their new boss 454 00:20:42,393 --> 00:20:45,432 to fuck off and done a little sick out the car. 455 00:20:45,465 --> 00:20:47,737 -Fuck. What is wrong with me? -Ah, nothin'. 456 00:20:48,405 --> 00:20:51,546 I hate turning 50. I wanna turn back. 457 00:20:51,579 --> 00:20:54,919 Look, I... I wasn't keen on 50 when it hit either, 458 00:20:54,952 --> 00:20:57,591 but I know this is a cliché. 459 00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,093 It's a lot better than the alternative. 460 00:20:59,828 --> 00:21:01,030 Mm. 461 00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:06,541 Everything's going too fast. I can't... 462 00:21:06,575 --> 00:21:08,145 -Yeah. -[sighs] 463 00:21:08,178 --> 00:21:10,784 I sort of feel like we've had the good bit. 464 00:21:10,817 --> 00:21:12,554 Do you know what I mean? But... 465 00:21:13,288 --> 00:21:15,392 I don't know what I'm doing anymore. 466 00:21:17,096 --> 00:21:19,067 -I miss Luke. -Mm-hmm. 467 00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:23,408 I mean, I'm gonna be a fucking grandma. 468 00:21:23,441 --> 00:21:24,945 That just sounds weird. 469 00:21:24,978 --> 00:21:30,121 That's like saying I'm gonna be a... horse or something. 470 00:21:31,592 --> 00:21:33,495 -Nay. -[laughs] 471 00:21:33,528 --> 00:21:36,636 [laughs] Fuck off. Ow. I can't laugh. 472 00:21:36,669 --> 00:21:38,004 Ow. [laughs] 473 00:21:40,475 --> 00:21:42,981 Right, I'm going to pop out and pick up some things 474 00:21:43,014 --> 00:21:44,551 for Dad's birthday do, okay? 475 00:21:44,584 --> 00:21:47,858 So, just sleep, Shergar. Sleep. 476 00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:49,561 [chuckles] 477 00:21:49,594 --> 00:21:51,594 Fuck off. 478 00:21:58,044 --> 00:21:59,782 [clicks tongue] 479 00:21:59,815 --> 00:22:00,950 [sighs] 480 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:06,127 [grunting] 481 00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:10,468 [grunts] 482 00:22:15,747 --> 00:22:16,815 [wheezes] 483 00:22:22,059 --> 00:22:23,663 [exhales deeply] 484 00:22:23,696 --> 00:22:26,602 Pushes all the air out of me, tying me laces. 485 00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:29,473 [grunts] 486 00:22:33,181 --> 00:22:35,152 You look very handsome. 487 00:22:35,185 --> 00:22:36,454 [exhales deeply] 488 00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,657 Shall we? 489 00:22:43,535 --> 00:22:44,938 -[Ally] God, it's so quiet. -[Luke] Mm. 490 00:22:44,971 --> 00:22:47,076 Old people generally are, I think. 491 00:22:47,109 --> 00:22:49,480 -Luke, do you wanna open it? -Yes. 492 00:22:49,513 --> 00:22:51,051 -After you. -Right. Thanks. 493 00:22:51,084 --> 00:22:53,188 -Surprise! -[cheering] 494 00:22:53,221 --> 00:22:55,860 -Oh! -Happy 130th. 495 00:22:56,161 --> 00:22:57,964 Oh, my God. 496 00:22:57,997 --> 00:23:02,540 Wow. Okay. Okay. 497 00:23:02,574 --> 00:23:03,976 Two "okay"s? That's potentially not okay. 498 00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:05,647 This is very brave, Paul. 499 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,550 Yeah, the fucking adrenaline walking up the street. 500 00:23:08,218 --> 00:23:10,690 -[sighs] -Uh, look, 80 plus 50. That's... 501 00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,126 -130, yeah. -Yeah. 502 00:23:12,159 --> 00:23:15,065 -That number's not bad, is it? -Um... 503 00:23:15,098 --> 00:23:16,968 -Ava. -[Ava] Hello. 504 00:23:17,971 --> 00:23:19,675 Do you hate it? 505 00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:23,181 No, no, I don't hate it. I love it. It's... It's... 506 00:23:23,214 --> 00:23:25,519 It's brilliant. Thank you. 507 00:23:25,553 --> 00:23:27,691 -Happy birthday, Mum. -Oh, thanks. [chuckles] 508 00:23:27,724 --> 00:23:30,095 [applause] 509 00:23:30,128 --> 00:23:32,801 -Happy birthday. -[chuckles] 510 00:23:32,834 --> 00:23:35,205 Happy birthday, Jim. [laughs] 511 00:23:35,238 --> 00:23:37,076 Happy birthday, Ally. [chuckles] 512 00:23:37,109 --> 00:23:39,213 They get better as you get older. 513 00:23:39,246 --> 00:23:41,719 -That's a lie. They get worse. -[chuckles] 514 00:23:41,752 --> 00:23:43,556 -Happy birthday, darling. -Oh, thank you. 515 00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:46,595 -Mm. -Thanks so much. Oh. Hey! 516 00:23:46,628 --> 00:23:49,133 Well done, darling, putting on a brave face. 517 00:23:49,166 --> 00:23:50,703 [lowered voice] Put me in one of these places, 518 00:23:50,736 --> 00:23:53,842 -I'll fucking kill you. -Wow. Good to know. Okay. 519 00:23:55,847 --> 00:23:58,886 [sighs] 520 00:23:58,919 --> 00:24:01,257 Thank you. [chuckles] I love you. 521 00:24:01,290 --> 00:24:02,960 I love you, too. 522 00:24:04,631 --> 00:24:06,602 -[resident] Whoa! -[residents gasp] 523 00:24:06,635 --> 00:24:08,271 Yeah. All right. Don't all pretend like you're not 524 00:24:08,304 --> 00:24:10,876 all at it like rabbits. I saw it on Panorama. 525 00:24:11,778 --> 00:24:15,787 Hey, um, listen, I'm... I'm so sorry for quitting that job. 526 00:24:15,820 --> 00:24:18,325 You just... You can't put a price on pride. 527 00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:21,163 No, I know. But if you could put a price on it... 528 00:24:21,732 --> 00:24:23,969 [inhales sharply] 15 grand for two months' work. 529 00:24:25,807 --> 00:24:27,042 -Really? -Yeah. 530 00:24:27,075 --> 00:24:28,078 You can't be angry with me, though, 531 00:24:28,111 --> 00:24:30,583 'cause it's my party. 532 00:24:30,616 --> 00:24:31,752 -Okay. -[laughs] 533 00:24:31,785 --> 00:24:33,288 [grunts] 534 00:24:33,321 --> 00:24:35,593 -Uh, I'm gonna pick up tea. -Okay. 535 00:24:35,626 --> 00:24:36,662 -Or a sherry. -[Ally laughs] 536 00:24:36,695 --> 00:24:37,864 Hi, Mum. 537 00:24:38,566 --> 00:24:41,337 [exhales deeply] 80. Bloody hell. 538 00:24:41,370 --> 00:24:43,575 It's a lot of years. 539 00:24:43,809 --> 00:24:48,018 [mouth full] It goes by very fast, Ava. Lightnin' speed. 540 00:24:48,051 --> 00:24:49,353 You can't hang about. 541 00:24:49,386 --> 00:24:52,627 Got to grab life by the short and curlies, 542 00:24:52,660 --> 00:24:54,330 if I'm still allowed to say that. 543 00:24:54,363 --> 00:24:56,363 I think you are. 544 00:24:56,363 --> 00:24:58,940 [singer vocalizing] 545 00:24:58,973 --> 00:25:02,580 [vocalizing continues in distance] 546 00:25:04,651 --> 00:25:07,055 [vocalizing grows louder] 547 00:25:08,358 --> 00:25:09,661 [vocalizing continues in distance] 548 00:25:20,015 --> 00:25:21,183 Hey. 549 00:25:21,785 --> 00:25:24,223 Hey. Sorry. Just had to get away 550 00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:26,194 from the intense partying for a bit. 551 00:25:26,227 --> 00:25:28,064 Holly, would you like to go on a date with me? 552 00:25:29,768 --> 00:25:31,805 Yeah. I'd... I'd like that a lot. 553 00:25:32,372 --> 00:25:33,775 Good. 554 00:25:34,443 --> 00:25:35,646 May I kiss you? 555 00:25:37,115 --> 00:25:38,752 You absolutely fucking may. 41172

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