All language subtitles for A.Connecticut.Yankee.In.King.Arthurs.Court.1949

There you are.

Say, has, uh, this castle
always had four turrets?

Always, sir.

Four turrets.

That doesn't seem right.

If you hurry, sir, you'll still
be in time to catch the last tour.

Thanks.

The room you are now standing in

is an ancient banquet hall.

And this table, ladies and gentlemen,

is said to be the famed Round Table

used by King Arthur.

Many of the restored shields

of the Knights of the Round Table

can be seen on these standards.

Sir Bedivere.

-Sir...
-Sir Bors de Ganis.

-Sir...
-Sir Lancelot of the Lake.

If you don't mind.

Not at all. Go right ahead.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,
if you'll kindly follow me.

Over here, ladies and gentlemen,

we have the shields of Sir Galahad,

Sir Dalliance,

and Sir Sagramore le Desirous.

Good old Saggy.

And over here, ladies and gentlemen,

a remarkably preserved portrait.

Lady Alisande la Carteloise.

Wasn't she lovely?

Lovely indeed, madam.

She was renowned in legend

as King Arthur's favorite niece.

Over here, ladies and gentlemen...
Pardon me.

We have a hauberk,
dating from the sixth century

said to have been worn
by Sir Logris of Astolat.

Kindly notice the round hole
through the breastplate

undoubtedly caused by an iron-tipped
arrow of the period.

Mmm-mmm.

I mean... Well, you see,
that happens to be a bullet hole.

Impossible! Firearms weren't
invented until the 15th century.

Oh, come now.

Perhaps the gentleman
saw the bullet fired.

Perhaps the gentleman was there.

Matter of fact, I was.

Undoubtedly caused by an iron-tipped
arrow of the period.

Well, uh, that concludes the tour,
ladies and gentlemen.

On behalf of the orphanage and
Lord Pendragon, I hope you've enjoyed it.

Uh, this way out, please.

Thank you. It's been most interesting.

-I beg your pardon, sir.
-Hmm?

Lord Pendragon would like to see you.

Well, that's very nice of him.

Just as I remember her.

Uh, this way, sir.

Yes.

"Just as I remember her"?

And she dead these 1,300 years.

Come in, come in.

And shut the door.

That's the worst of
these confounded castles,

very picturesque and all that, but the
wind whistles through like a howling gale.

This is the American gentleman,
Your Lordship.

I'm quite aware it's
the American gentleman.

-You may go, Richard.
-But, Your Lordship...

Go, go. Scat.

Now, no tricks, young man.

I warn you, I boxed for Cambridge
until my arm...

Now, what's all this I hear
about your creating a disturbance?

You don't look barmy.

I assure you, Your Lordship,
I'm perfectly sane.

Well, stop staring at me
as if I were a ghost.

Have we met before? Here.

Well, no, not exactly.

What do you mean, not exactly?

Either we've met before or we haven't.

Well, it's difficult to explain,
Your Lordship. I...

I... I feel like I know you.

I know this castle

and the girl in the painting downstairs,

Lady Alisande, I know her, too.

Wait, wait, now don't ring.

Wait. I wanna show you something.

Take a look at this.

-What is it?
-It's a gold amulet.

Just like the one on the girl
in the painting.

Yes, yes, of course. Of course.

-A remarkable duplicate.
-It's not a duplicate, sir.

-Where did you get it?
-She gave it to me.

Young man, you're either a liar
or a lunatic

and I'm not gonna sit here...

Here.

-Thank you.
-Excuse me.

I've been wanting to get this
off my chest for a long time.

I'm not keeping you
from anything, am I?

My name is Martin.
Hank Martin.

I was born in Hartford,
Connecticut, USA.

I'm a blacksmith, and my father
was a blacksmith before me.

Or I was a blacksmith
until a few years ago,

when these automobiles came along.

Boy, it sure is powerful-looking.

Boy, it sure is.

Go ahead and touch it.
I dare you.

You do it.

I asked you first.

Yeah, he asked you first.

Look out!

-Did you fix it, Hank?
-Oh, I fixed it, all right.

The operation was a success,
but the patient died.

Well, we'll give her
another whirl, huh?

-You kids in no hurry?
-No, not me.

What do you suppose makes it go?

I know. There's a dragon in it.

A what?

A dragon, just like
in King Arthur,

that spits and shoots out fire.

Oh, you're daffy.

I am not, am I, Hank?

Oh, I think she's got something there.

What we need now is
a little dragon bait.

Say, it's taken ahold.

Oh, there's a dragon in there, all right.

I think it's a reluctant dragon.

Why don't we'll let it
cool off a while, huh?

Does that book tell you
how to fix automobiles, Hank?

Oh, this book tells you
how to fix everything.

At least that's what the fellow said
that sold it to me.

Wow! Look at that.

What is that thing, Hank?

Yeah, what is it, Hank?

That's a phonograph.

That'll bring a 20-piece band
smack into your parlor.

Drums and everything?

Sure. Drums and everything.

There's an electric light bulb,

a magic lantern

and a motorcycle.

Wow! Look at that!

You mean we're gonna have
all those things someday, Hank?

Son, every one of those things
in that book,

every item, we got 'em right now.

You know why we got 'em?

Because folks who other folks
thought were crazy

went out and invented 'em.

That's how things get done.

By folks who shoot high

who just won't admit they're licked.

Oh, there's nothin' to be ashamed of

If you stub your toe on the moon

When a dream's at the top of the sky

Well, you just have to jump pretty high

But don't give up too soon

If you stub your toe on the moon...

Now, you take Harry Hadgetts.

Who's Harry Hadgetts?

Young Harry Hadgetts loved making gadgets

"Life needs some new things”
was his claim

Hoped one or two things might bring fame

This is the last time you'll hear his name

Nobody mentions Harry's inventions

But do you think that got him down

Here comes the end
when you've gadgets to mend

He's the best repairman in town

So there's nothin' to be ashamed of

If you stub your toe on the moon...

Fred.

When a dream's at the top of the sky

Well, you just have to jump
pretty high, high

But don't give up too soon

If you stub your toe on the moon...

Now, you take Sally Springer.

Who's Sally Springer?

Well, it's a long story, but
I'll cut it down for you.

Sweet Sally Springer
She was a singer

Lived in a hall room
up one flight

Thought of a ballroom
big and bright

Where she would make
her debut some night

Then for her trouble
"pop" went the bubble

Say that it's sad
but, wait, don't weep

Now they admit
every night she's a hit

When she sings
her children to sleep

No, there's nothin' to be ashamed of

If you stub your toe on the moon

Though it may be a blow to your pride

You're a hero because, well, you tried...

Good boy.

So don't give up too soon

If you stub your toe on the moon...

Don't give up too soon

If you stub your toe on the moon

Well, there's a moral there
some place, kids.

Hiya, Hank.

Hey, Sam.

Old Man Miller's
madder than a wet hen.

Said you promised to have
his pinto back by noon.

By George, I did! Well, this'll
have to wait till later, kids.

-Aw, gee!
-Come on. Everybody out.

See you in the mornin'.
Seven o'clock be too early?

-Good, good. All right, goodbye.
-See you tomorrow! Bye!

Say, if that cat spits up
a spark plug, it's mine.

Whoa, Tex. Take it easy.
I don't blame you.

Looks like we're in for a wet night.

Whoa there, boy. Whoa!

Whoa, Tex! Slow down!

Monster, will you battle?

Will I do what?

Will you joust?
Will you venture a passage at arms?

Huh?

Up, dog!

Up, dog, and defend thyself!

Up, I say!

Look, old man, I don't know where
you got that iron Union suit

but I've been up all night
and I'm in no mood for jokes.

Here, Tex. Here, Tex.

Stay where you are, monster!

I give warning,
spit forth one flame of fire

and I shall hack thee limb from limb!

Here, now.

Skip. Go ahead. Run along
before they come and get you.

Before they come?

Your keepers.
They should be here any minute.

Parley will gain thee not!
Dost admit defeat?

Now, look, I told you before,
I'm in no mood...

Dost admit defeat?

Dost. By all means, dost.

Forward, knave.
Thou art captive of my lance.

I'll play along with you.

Hey, tell me, bub,

who art thou?

I hight Sir Sagramore le Desirous

Knight of the Round Table.

Howdy.
I hight Hank Martin.

Those turrets...

I've never seen them before.

That can't be Bridgeport.

Yonder, varlet, is Camelot.

Camelot?

Capital of the kingdom of Britain,

residence in state
of King Arthur's Court.

King Arthur?

What year is this?

This is the year of our Lord, 528.

528?

I guess I owe you an apology, brother.

I'm the guy they're coming after.

Forward, knave.

Raise for Sir Sagramore!

Hold, monster.
Bind the prisoner.

Bind the prisoner!

Here, now, here.
Whoa. What's this?

Here, now, there's been a mistake.
Get me a lawyer.

-Where's the head fellow here?
-Forward, monster.

-Where is the king?
-In the Great Hall, sire.

-Enough! To thy post.
-Aye, sire.

Forward to the Great Hall.

Oh, confound this castle.

It is a veritable cave of winds.

Somebody close the door.

The king speaketh.

Close the door!

Close the door!

Close the door!

The door closeth.

When is sometime?

How many days until sometime?

For my dreams
make it clear

That my lover is near

And he ought
to be here

About sometime

Who is someone?

Who is this wonderful someone?

Oh, I'm keeping
my heart-strings

In tune

And hoping

That sometime

Is soon...

It is I, Sir Sagramore!

Cease thy speaking!

And thy babbling.

Who is someone?

Who is this
wonderful someone?

Oh, I'm keeping
my heart-strings

In tune

And hoping

That sometime

Is soon

Oh, I'm hoping

That sometime

Is soon

Excellent, child!
You take after my side of the family.

We were all fine singers until my throat...

Thank you, my liege.

With Your Majesty's permission,

I have prepared a song for the lute.

-It's a simple thing...
-Away, child.

If there's one thing that curdles the
appetite of an already-addled stomach

it's a lute solo.

Well, well, well, well,
well, well, well, well, well.

What other amusement
have we in store this day?

Sorry, my liege.

Noble King, I crave pardon

for this most unseemly intrusion

but I have just returned from capturing

the fiercest of all human dragons.

Behold, the monster!

I'm a monster.

A weird-looking creature.
How camest thou by him?

'Tis a most wondrous tale, my liege.

I fear we're in for it.

My king, ladies of the Royal Court,

fellow Knights of the Round Table,

while riding in a far land,

I came upon a concourse
of a thousand ogres.

And despite their numbers

determined to capture the most
sky-towering giant among them.

Oh, here, now.
Wait a minute. I was alone.

-I was asleep under a tree.
-Cease, monster!

From dawn till dark and dark till dawn,
we battled.

With lance and sword,
I laid upon the demon throng

till all were dead but one,

the fiercest ogre of them all,

when finally I drove him to corner.

He changed into a dragon

bellowing fire and flame upon me!

When that availed him naught,

he became a tusked and taloned werewolf.

Oh, now, see here, Your Majesty...

At last, the beast changed
to his present form

and with one mighty bound

leaped to the topmost
branch of a tree

200 cubits high!

I picked up a stone

the size of a bullock
and hurled it at the beast.

He fell to my feet.

And here, milord,
here is living proof

of my mighty deed.

I thank thee.

Your Majesty,
mayeth I sayeth a few words?

-In the first place...
-Silence, ogre!

What makest thou
of the creature, Merlin?

A most dangerous
and evil demon.

The beast must be destroyed.

-A hanging?
-No.

Burning at the stake, my liege.

Pardon, milord,

but the monster seemeth
a gentle soul.

-Gentle?
-He hath nice eyes,

and his features
are not unpleasant.

True, true.

Monster, has thou a name?

Hast. Martin. Hank Martin.

The truth now.
How camest thou to this kingdom?

Well, I'm a little confused
as to how I came here

but I did come from Connecticut.

Hast heard of, uh,

what he just said?

Couldst be in Ireland.

Oh, no. It's way past Ireland.

You lie. There's naught beyond
Ireland but the Great Sea.

Trapped by his own words,
my liege.

An evil demon confronts us,

whose abode is the
dismal depths of the ocean.

Destroy this pestilence
ere he destroy us.

-Thou hast a good point...
-Death to the monster!

Quiet, quiet!

Oh, my ears.

Uh...

Monster,

I have bad tidings for thee.

Tomorrow morning,
thou burnest at the stake.

Take him away.

Well, Your Majesty, if I could
just have a minute to...

I'd like to explain this.
Wait a minute! Hey! Help!

Wait! Help!

'Tis said this monster
has seven heads.

Aye, and a forked tail.

-It is I, Sir Sagramore.
-Open for Sir Sagramore.

Well, what do you want now?

I have brought thee a dainty
tidbit from the king's kitchen.

Roast meat.

At this point, roast meat
doesn't appeal to me.

-When do I, uh...
-Within the hour.

How thou must hate me

for the mischief my foolish
tongue has caused thee.

You ought to be press agent
for Jack the Ripper.

An ogre, you called me.
Dragon, werewolf.

-No wonder they wanna get rid of me.
-Cease.

I feel bad enough.

If there were aught I could say,
aught I could do to save thee...

Well, ain't there aught?

Naught

Wait!

-Zounds! what an idea!
-An idea?

Who hast condemned thee?

'Tis Merlin,
the maker of miracles.

What if thou shouldst
create a miracle?

What if thou shouldst prove
a greater sorcerer?

Doing what?

Nay. Nay.
'Tis a foolish thought.

A greater sorcerer than Merlin?

None such exists.

He's the champion, huh?

I have grown
to like thee, monster.

'Tis sad to part.

'Tis sad.

Farewell.

Within the hour.

Well, now, if it's
a miracle they're after...

Meet the new champion.

No, no, no, no. All these
folderols simply to burn a man.

Verily it grows monotonous.

Aye.

But the Romans had a more
amusing procedure.

They boiled their victims in oil.

Boiled them in oil?

Splendid.

Hast not seen a lobster boil,
Your Majesty?

Truly, Morgan,
thou art brilliant.

All right, all right, all right.
Let's get started.

Thou knowest this early morning
air bringeth on my vapors.

The king speaketh.
Bring on the beast.

-Bring on the beast!
-Bring on the beast!

-Must we have these eternal echoes?
-Bring on the beast!

That's strange.

The creature seemeth
in splendid spirits.

'Twill avail him naught.

Fire and flame will destroy him
and all his demon magic.

Milord, does he have to die?

Of course he has to die.

You certainly don't expect me to
disappoint all these people, do you?

Thou art to be commended, Sir Sagramore,
for thy part in these festivities.

Nay. My heart weigheth heavily.

Hear ye
the proclamation of death!

Monster, thou hast by trial,
both just and fair

been found guilty
of the following crimes.

First, of assuming
through demon wizardry

the form of a man-devouring ogre...
-Stay away, clouds.

...of a fire-breathing dragon...
-Good old sun.

...and of tusked and taloned werewolf.

Second, of conspiring with Beelzebub
and the powers of evil

to bring calamity upon this kingdom.

Therefore, monster,

by order of His Sovereign Majesty
King Arthur of Britain...

...thou art hereby
condemned to perish

by the flame and...

Merlin, he's bewitched!

Have no fear, my liege.

I shall cast a spell
upon this demon.

I fear thee not, monster.

Boo.

I, Merlin, sorcerer to the king,

do hereby render helpless
the evil demon within this monster

and route for evermore
his magic wizardry,

and I command the gods

to wither his tongue,
to still his limbs, to...

Psst, psst. Smiley,
you're burning up a little there.

Thou art the devil himself!

Is there no end to his sorcery?

Do you give up?

-Aha. Just as I thought!
-Here.

No forces of evil did cause
this mischief, my liege.

'Twas but this bauble, this toy,

which any child can worketh.

Start workething, bub.

I command thee

maketh fire and flame!

Any news?

Maketh fire and flame!

No talent, huh?

A few words, Your Majesty.

I am a wizard.
I'm a whizz of a wizard.

Matter of fact, just about
the best in the business.

And if you don't mind
my saying so,

it's a pretty good thing for you

I'm not quick-tempered.

Slim, release me here.

Come on, quickly.

I might lose my temper here

and burn up a lot of good acreage.

Now, watch closely
and I'll show you what I mean.

I have here, Your Majesty,
a common, ordinary twig.

Presto!

You can imagine
what I could do with a tree.

For my next miracle,
ladies and gentlemen...

Desist! Desist, monster!
I prithee!

And now, Your Majesty,
hang on to your crown be...

because, uh, I'm about to...

No more, monster,
I beseech thee!

Spare my kingdom.

Name thy terms,
and I will grant them.

Well, would like to stick around here
a little while, maybe.

Half my domains are thine.

Oh, no. Just...

Just a little...
Little blacksmith shop would be all right.

A smithy.

Granted.

And if you could arrange it,
I'd like to associate

with these lords and ladies
in a little more sociable atmosphere?

A ball,

as soon as 'tis possible
to accouter thee properly.

This fellow that captured me,
what about him?

The dog shall die.

Aye! Burn Sir Sagramore!

Aye! Burn Sir Sagramore!

Burn Sir Sagramore!
Burn Sir Sagramore!

Burn Sir Sagramore!

In oil, huh?

Oh, no. No.
Wait a minute. I like him.

Hmm. Why, he shall be thy squire.

Oh, I wouldn't be
without a squire,

but one really
important thing,

as long as I seem to
be the boss around here,

don't you think I ought
to have a title to go with it?

Approach and be knighted.

Here. Practice with this a while.

On thy knees, sire.

I dub thee...

I dub thee Sir Boss.

Hail to Sir Boss!

Hail to the boss!

Hail, Sir Boss.

Methinks I liketh Camelot

a lot.

Zounds, but thou hast
a handsome figure!

Here, now, take it easy, Saggy.

I know you're grateful,
but don't overdo it.

The ball awaits thee.
This way, milord.

Hmm. Hope some man
doesn't ask me to dance.

For thee, sire.

Well, how about introducing me
to the cast of characters?

Pardon, sire?

I wouldst know whom
I meeteth this night.

The, uh, king, for instance.

-What's he like?
-Ah, a prince among men.

And, uh, Merlin?

A devil, who by
cunning and trickery

has come to rule the kingdom.

A villain, huh?

Who's the, uh, dark-haired lady
with him there?

Morgan le Fay,
the king's niece.

If aught should happen to the king,
Merlin would see to it that she is queen.

Well, aught better
not happen then,huh?

Who?

Another of the king's nieces.

Milady Alisande la Carteloise.

Is she married or anything?

She is the betrothed
of Sir Lancelot of the Lake,

who is away on a mission
of knight errantry, sire.

Travelling man, huh?
Shall we mingle then?

Stop the music!

-Stop the music!
-Stop the music!

The music stoppeth, sire.

Well, you got a mighty nice
turnout for the Clambake.

I'm much obliged.

Oh, it's a pleasure, I assure thee.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Sir Boss!

The man is dangerous.

And we also if we but smile.

Dance with him.

Oh. Uh, Sir Galahad.

Howdy.

Killed any dragons lately?

Scout's honor?

-Pardon, my liege.
-Had... Ah, yes.

My niece, Morgan le Fay,

princess of the Royal House.

Welcome to Camelot, milord.

-A merry tune, is it not?
-Oh, yes.

I can hardly keep my feet still.

Thou mayest think me bold,
but wouldst dance with me?

Oh, why, certainly.
I'd love to.

Anytime.

I, uh...
I beg your pardon.

I don't want to seem aggressive
or anything, but I did want...

My dear Alisande,
hast heard my latest exploit?

Never in all...
-Say, just a minute, buster.

This is our dance.

Oh, yes, by all means, yes.

Hast thou an affliction
in thine eye, sire?

I'm afraid it's in my heart.

But that twitching of the lid.

I understand thee not.

-That's a wink, honey.
-A wink?

Where I come from,
it's a token of affection.

Maybe we better dance, huh?

Come along with me a minute.
I want to straighten these fellows out.

Will you excuse me?
This won't take a minute.

You don't seem to be very busy.

Would you try something for me?

Listen closely.

Try it.

Ah. I have something,
for you, too.

Play it.

Are you happy?
Sounds fine.

Well, who have we here?

Milord Windpipe.
Got something classy for you.

Listen closely.

Nice, huh?

Try it

Have to file this away
till 1776, I guess.

Now we come to the
most important part of all,

the rhythm section.

Tell me, sire,
how dost thou count this rhythm?

Hmm?

One, two, three.
One, two, three.

One, two, three.
One, two, three.

You're a three-beat man, huh?

You're a four-beat man.
One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

I'm a four-beat man.

Naturally.
Let me hear it.

That's it.

Oh. Say, there's a new tuning
on these instruments.

It's gonna sweep
the country.

There.

Isn't that classy?

There's a canoe that
goes with these things,

but that's another story.

Don't lose your head now.

Oh, there's just
the man we need.

Hold it.

Tell me, young man, art thou
familiar with this melody?

Indeed, Sir...
Sir Boss. I am.

Well, come on.
Join the band.

I hope thou art paid up
in the Guild.

Everyone remember
what I showed them.

Are you all ready?

There, you see?
When you putteth in the brass,

you taketh out the lead.

Sir Boss,
what a wondrous transformation.

So bright, so merry, so gay!

Oh, it was really nothing.

Tomorrow, I might even
show them The Turkey Trot.

-"The Turkey Trot"?
-Yeah.

-I wit thee not.
-Oh, it is a gayish gambol.

Oh, come. Relax.
You might like it.

Methinks this
will be his undoing.

This is an out...

Yes, sire?

Would you like to sit
the rest of this out?

'Twould be most unseemly.

I know it would.
I want to talk to you alone.

'Tis a beautiful night, sire.

Oh, 'tis. 'Tis indeed.

But I wish you
wouldn't call me sire.

Yes, O Mighty Sorcerer.

Oh, and I wanna straighten
you out on that, too.

I don't care what it looked like
out there the other day. I'm...

I'm just one of the boys,
just a fellow called Hank Martin.

-A human being?
-Mmm-hmm.

Right now, very human.

-Tell me, sire...
-Oh, no. Hank.

Tell me, Hank,

why dost thou confide in me?

I don't know, unless...
Well, except I'm grateful.

Well, you...
You and Saggy were the only ones

that seemed to care
if I burned or not.

I'd feel as sorry for
any beast of the field.

Oh, now, don't spoil it.

In the second place, Alisande,

you're a very pretty girl.

Oh, thou art pretty, too, milord.

You mustn't go around
saying men are pretty now.

If you wanna make an exception
in my case, uh, say I'm cute.

Oh, thou art in truth
the cutest...

I don't like that either.
Say I'm healthy or something.

You know what
I think I'll call you?

Sandy.

-Sandy?
-Mmm-hmm.

Sandy. It hath a fine
and winsome grace.

Sandy.

Even so, already it falleth
trippingly from the tongue.

-Shakespeare.
-Shakespeare?

Oh, he's a new boy coming up later.
Very clever fellow.

Ah, gee, Connecticut
was never like this.

And where is this strange land,
this Connecticut?

A million miles,

a thousand years away.

I comprehend thee not.

I'm not sure
I comprehend me either.

One thing I know, though.
I'm... I'm glad I'm here.

Once and for always

Let's have it understood

We will be together

Just the way we should

Let's not wait and hope

For something more sublime

Don't you know

That always
isn't too much time

So once

And for always

Let's say that it's agreed

Wishing days are over

This is all we need

And tonight

We'll notify the stars

Above

That once and for always

And no less than always

You and I

Will be

In love...

'Tis truly lovely.

Once and for always

Let's have it understood

But I know not
thy meaning, sire.

'Tis warming to the heart,
but confusing to the mind.

Well, all I'm trying to tell you, honey,
is even if you lived up in my day,

around 1905,

I'd still feel
the same way about you.

Time isn't important
if it's the real thing.

Let's not wait

And hope for something

More sublime

Don't you know

No

Well, always

Isn't too much time...

Seems the only thing I brought
with me from Connecticut

is a little book,

an almanac full of useful advice
and wise observations

one of which says,

"Love once, but love
always and forever."

That's what I'm trying
to tell you, honey.

Just like it says
in the almanac.

-What's an almanac?
-Doesn't matter.

They all say the same thing.

Once and for always

Let's say that it's agreed

Agreed

Wishing days are over

This is all we need

And tonight

We'll notify

The stars

Above

That once
and for always

And no less

Than always

You and I

Will be

In love

Oh, I shouldn't have
done that, huh?

'Twas mine fault
as much as thine.

Well, then
this one's on me.

Will I see you tomorrow?

-'Twould be most...
-Tomorrow then, at my smithy.

Logris, thou art a friend
of Lancelot's.

Wouldst say he is
a jealous man?

Most jealous.

Knowest thou his whereabouts?

They say he's bound
for the north country.

A day's ride would reach him.

A night's ride.
Thou must leave at once.

Stay, Sir Lancelot!

Sir Lancelot!

Stay, Sir Lancelot!

Evil tidings, my friend.

An interloper
from a foreign land

has gazed with ardor
upon the Lady Alisande.

Huh? Name of this interloper?

Sir Boss.

Sir Boss.
I ride forthwith to Camelot.

-But the quest, sire.
-The quest shall wait.

First, I must disembowel
a scurvy knave!

'Tis a monstrous
sorcerer within.

Most monstrous!

Well, let's see here.

Two inches off the cuff.

You got me a little there.

Thou art indeed a wizard.

When 'tis done, 'twill become
thee as fittingly as it did

to Sagramore le Desirous.

Oh, Sir Sagramore le Desirous.

Got to do something about that.

Say, when you were a kid,
uh, did you have a first name?

Aye. But from that day to this,

no man has dared
breathe it in my presence.

Oh, but you're gonna tell me.

Wild horses could not
drag it from me.

Come on, Saggy. 'Fess up.

To my undying shame,
'twas Clarence.

Clarence.

Suits your personality, too.

I dub thee Clarence.

Whoop.

As you will, milord.

Hi, men.

Oh, well, you'll get used to me.

Who's this?

Who cometh in
the yonder covered wagon?

'Tis the Lady Alisande.

I warn thee, milord,
this meeting is unwise.

The girl is betrothed.

I'll take care of this thing,
Saggy.

But, sire...

Sire...

Sandy.

Hank.

Thanks for coming.

In truth, I...
I did not want to come.

I know. You just came to
tell me that you couldn't make it.

Honey, I've got something awfully
important to ask you. Could...

Well, it's a little crowded here.
Could we, uh...

I hate to run out on you fellows,

but you can see how
important this is, huh?

Mind the children, Clarence.

Abracadabra! Boom!

The children are gonna love me
around here, aren't they?

Oh, say, I got a little trinket here
that I whipped up for you.

-For me, sire?
-Yes.

-Hath it a name?
-Well, in my country, we call it a safety pin.

Wouldst sitteth down?

'Tis a strange device.
What purpose serveth it?

Well, it hath a
myriad of purposes.

For instance, uh,
do you have a handkerchief?

-A kerchief, sire?
-A kerchief, yes.

You expecting a cold?

You take, uh...
You take it like this,

over there, over there,
and this up here.

Now we take
our little gadget, you see,

and hook it up there.

-There you are. See?
-Amazing, sire.

-Isn't it, honey?
-But to what purpose?

Huh? Oh.

To what purpose?

Well, in the south

they call them
Aunt Jemimas, I think.

Now, you wanna get
the little gadget off there,

you just unlatch it like that.
There you are. Presto.

Safe, sound and simple, isn't it?

It's a miracle.

Well, not exactly a miracle,

but certainly a very handy
little gadget.

Oh.

I didn't mean to scare you.

And that's not a miracle either.

That's just a little gadget
called a magnet,

based on an idea cooked up
by a fellow named Ben Franklin.

This is yours.

'Tis a handsome gift, sire.

But I cannot accept it.

It would not be honorable.

You should know this, sire.

-I'm betrothed to Sir Lancelot.
-I did know.

-But...
-Please, honey,

let me do the talking.

Sandy, I haven't been
around here very long

and there's a lot of things
I don't know.

How I got here,
how long I'm gonna be here...

-I do not comprehend.
-Don't try to follow me.

Please. Just listen.

What I'm getting at is this.

Would you consider
being betrothed to me?

-But Sir Lancelot...
-We'll get to him later.

Do you love him?

Lancelot is a wonderful man.

Brave, stalwart, handsome.

Do you love him?

A wife would be proud
of such a husband.

Do you love him?

No, Hank.

Hallelujah!

No, no. Thou must not.
'Tis most unseemly.

Why?

Dost thou not understand?

I am betrothed to Sir Lancelot.

I know. I know.

-But when does he get back?
-Perhaps a month.

Well, you leave everything to me.

I'll handle old Lance.

But I fear for thee, Hank.

Sir Lancelot's anger
is known to freeze

the hearts of
the most courageous.

Sandy, don't worry, now, please.

Just toddle along home
to the castle.

-But, Hank...
-Don't you trust me, Sandy?

Oh, yes, I trust thee, Hank.

Good. Here.

You forgot something.
I'll see you later.

Okay, men, shove off.

Heave ho.

Departeth.

Forward!

-Sir Boss?
-Yeah?

-I must warn thee.
-What about?

Did you get the squeak
out of there?

Uh, methinks I have, sire.

Behold...

Not entirely.
Not entirely.

But, sire, I must warn thee.

Yeah?

Art occupied, blacksmith?

Have care, sire.

Yeah, okay.
I'll fix that in a minute.

I got a cash customer here.
Wait a minute.

What's, uh...
What's on your mind, friend?

Death to a scurvy knave,

whom I shall find
before this day has ended.

Wouldst have an edge
on my weapon!

Yes, well, you came
to the right place, friend.

I guess you'd like a little edge on the
lance, too, wouldn't you? Mmm-hmm.

I'll get it.

Well, don't stand there fidgeting.
Give me a lift here. Come on.

By George, big fella, you've got
your dander up today, haven't you?

Hate to be the guy
you're looking for.

In a minute.
In a minute.

This man has
urgent business here.

-Somebody do you wrong?
-A grievous wrong.

Yeah? Well, I can tell. When a fella's
as mad as you appear to be,

there's generally a woman at
the bottom of it, right?

Thou art wise, blacksmith.

Somebody stole your gal, huh?

Naturally, you're gonna
take steps, long steps.

I shall seek out
this interloper

and be he the size
of ten giants

and hath he the strength
and fury of a thousand lions,

I shall meet him
upon the field of honor

and thrust him through
like an ox on a spit.

Ah, but the end
shall not come swiftly.

Mark you, the death of this
knave who calleth himself Sir Boss

shall become legend,
a warning to all

who would covet
the betrothed of another.

I don't blame you.
If was in your spot...

Did you say "Sir Boss?"

Aye, blacksmith.
A scourge on the dog.

Well, now, uh...

Perhaps we ought to think this
over in the cool of the evening.

We don't wanna be too hasty
about these things.

-Huh, what sayest thou?
-No offence, friend.

I just don't want you to do
something that we'll both regret.

-Well, what wouldst suggest?
-There are two sides to every question.

Now I suggest you sit down
with this fella

and try and talk it over.

They tell me he's a fine boy.

A message for thee, sire.

'Tis from the Lady Alisande.

It must be for you, friend.

Oh, no, Sir Lancelot.

'Tis for Sir Boss here.

Sir Boss!

"Beware.
Lancelot cometh."

And here you are.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have
a couple of irons in the fire.

Wait!

I hurl the gauntlet
in thy face.

Good day, sire.

Good day.

Clarence, are you there?

Aye. The die is cast.

Tomorrow, you joust
with Sir Lancelot.

And the one who lives shall become
the betrothed of Lady Alisande.

I don't like the odds.

All right, all right, we're here, Merlin.
Show us some blood.

Aye, blood.

Sir Boss' blood.

Anybody's blood!

Well, I will hasten
the proceedings, my liege.

Fear not, my friend.

I have cast a magic spell
upon thy evil opponent.

I thank thee, Merlin.
I have no need for casting of spells.

Be of good cheer, sire.
Perhaps couldst perform a miracle.

Afraid not. With all this stuff on,
it slows up my thinking.

What's that?

Oh, 'tis just a minor scuffle
between two hot-blooded youths.

Sir Gareth and Sir Persant of Wales.

Oh. A preliminary, huh?

What's going on?

They gathereth up
Sir Persant, sire.

That's tough luck, old boy.

But, sire, this man
is the winner.

Steady, sire.

Have confidence, milord.
Have courage.

Oh, Clarence, what a fella
will do for a girl.

If it wasn't for Sandy, I'd be
on my way to Connecticut right now.

Another rope, serfs.

No, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

I can't handle this.
This is awful.

Let's see.

If I don't go through with it,
I'm a coward, huh?

If I do go through with it,
I'm a dead hero.

Isn't there something in-between,
something conservative?

-Nay, sire.
-Nothing, eh?

-Tex!
-Tex, milord?

Looketh. Get to the king
as fast as you can

and tell him I've gotta have
a ten-minute postponement.

Tell him I've gone
for a mustard plaster.

-Tell him anything, but hurry up.
-Aye, sire.

Oh-ho-ho, you Tex.

But he hath no armor, my liege.

Well, it's not my fault.

What manner
of lunacy is this?

No lunacy at all, friend.

Your Majesty, is there anything
in the book of rules

which says that I have to do
my scuffling in all that scrap iron?

In truth, there is nothing
which so specifies.

Why don't we get started?

On with the...

On with the joust.

On with the joust.

On with the joust.

On with the joust!

I was there.
Where were you?

Get set for a fast turn, boy.

Come on, boy.
Let's trample him.

A neat trick, Sir Boss.

Thou hast not only
won the fair maiden

but given me the merriest
afternoon I've had in years.

In years.

Thank you, sire.

You proud, honey?

Proud?

Proud of my part in
this unseemly spectacle?

Oh, after all...

Proud that thou hast made a
fool out of such a noble gentleman?

-Well, I won, didn't I?
-What do you want me to do?

I want you to apologize
to Sir Lancelot.

-Apologize?
-Yes.

For what?

-For insulting him.
-What do you expect me to do,

go out there and be polite and get
killed like a gentleman?

In truth, thou art no gentleman.

Wait a minute.
Where are you going?

I leave to comfort Sir Lancelot.

Well, after all, sire,
it's just the rules...

Hast thou not learned there are
no rules where women are concerned?

Here, take this pill.
It will ease thy gripe.

Not too close, fellas.

Pray, sire,
what art thou contriving?

Oh, I'm just trying to keep busy,
keep out of trouble.

I think I'll let you fellas in
on a little secret.

See this gadget here?
That's a pistol.

These little gimmicks, bullets.

Stand clear.
Stay right there.

I'll show you how it works.

Suppose you're out in the woods
late one night

and a big old wolf all of a sudden
pops up in front of you.

You wouldn't be scared, would ya?

Oh, no, you wouldn't.

Not even a little, sire?

No, sir, because you got
your trusty pistol with you.

All you do is just
pull it up like that

pull back that hammer
like that, get all set, aim...

Where'd everybody go?

It's all right, fellas. You can come
out now. The big bad wolf is dead.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to scare you.

Well, that's just a sample
of what's comin', fellas.

The world is gonna be chock-full
of miracles, useful miracles,

like the printing press,
the sewing machine, bathtubs.

-Bathtubs?
-Yeah.

You mean we're all gonna
have to take baths?

Every single Sat...

I mean, every single Saturday, yes.

Greetings, milord.

Hi, Saggy.
Well, that's all, fellas.

So long. See you tomorrow.
We've got big business here.

-Goodnight, sire.
-Goodbye, sire.

Yeah?

She won't see me?

Rumor hath it that
Lancelot and Lady Alisande

are to be wed
within the week.

But she's not in love with him.
She told me so herself.

Female paradox.

Well, this changes things.

Clarence, there's an old saying
in Connecticut,

"When you got to git, git."

Thou wouldst leave Britain?

There's nothing
to hold me here now.

Greetings, O Mighty Sorcerer.

Hello.

What's on your mind, honey?
Come in.

'Tis...

'Tis about my father.

What about your father?

Oh, he is sick unto death, sire.

For three days now, he has lay in
a bed growing weaker and weaker.

Now, now. Has the doctor
been to see your father?

No, sire. No one.

They say he hath the plague.

The plague? Begone, child!

Clarence!

Please, Sir Boss.
Thou canst help him.

Thou art a mighty wizard.

See, we will pay you
these coins, and our pigs,

we have two of them,
and a goat...

I'm afraid you've got me wrong.
I'm not, uh...

Where do you live, honey?

-But, sire...
-Wait here for me.

And don't be playing around with that.
You might get hurt.

-With this toy, sire?
-Put it down!

Come along, honey.

Ridiculous that a mere trinket
should harm a grown man.

Ridiculous.
Utterly ridiculous!

Who is it?

-A friend, ma'am.
-A friend?

We have no friends.

Did you see the sign outside?

None may enter this
house of pestilence.

Fly, stranger,
while there's yet time.

If it's all right with you, ma'am,
I'll stay a while.

Stay then, and bless you.

-Your husband?
-My husband.

Well, I'll be careful. I'll...
I'll try not to wake him.

That you will not,
for he is dead.

Cry if you will, child.

A month ago,
this was our family.

A fine husband,
two strapping sons

a daughter.

Now we're alone.

Your sons,
are they dead, too?

Not dead, but better dead.

Years ago,
the lord of the manor

planted certain fruit trees
on our farm.

'Twas his right.

His right?

'Tis the law, sire.

Some time ago, three of those
trees were found hewn down.

Our sons ran frightened
to report the crime.

And although they themselves
were innocent,

they were accused
of the crime.

Well, in His Lordship's
dungeon, there they lie.

And there they shall lie
and rot till they confess.

But such things can't be.
His Majesty wouldn't allow it.

Truly thou art a stranger.

Cry, child.

Would I could cry with you.

-It's a masterpiece, milord.
-A masterpiece!

It needs a touch of ermine.

Ermine and velvet?
'Twould clash, sire.

They wouldn't be happy together.

I want ermine!

Oh, yes, sire.

Yes, certainly, sire.

Take it off.

Yes, sire. Certainly.

Ermine.
You shall have ermine.

More hot water.

More hot water!

More hot water!

Hot water.

Hot water!

-Hot water!
-Hot water!

Blasted incompetents.
They can't even keep the water hot.

I don't know how I've survived
all these years.

Things are bad all over.

Why don't you get wise
to yourself, Your Majesty?

Get acquainted
with your people.

My people?

But I see my people every day.

I don't mean these musical comedy
personalities around the palace.

I mean your subjects.

How do you suppose
they feel about you?

My boy, they love me.

On the morrow,
I journey to London.

All along the way
my subjects will be bowing

and smiling
and doffing their hats.

Did you ever happen to think that underneath
those smiles, they may be hating you?

Hating me?

That's the word.

Why?

Why? I'm a good king.

"Good King Arthur," they call me.

My good king,
it may surprise you to learn

that this country is crawling
with people who hate you.

Sick people,
hungry people,

people who no longer hate you
because they're dead.

-Why, sire, I can tell you...
-Cease!

Oh, heavens, I am sick.

And it's all your fault.

Young man, I could
have you hanged for this.

But you won't.

'Cause I have a feeling
you believe me.

All these lies
about my subjects?

Are they lies?

I don't know. I don't know.

What with my ill health, one cold
after another, how could I know anything?

Well, if you don't know, sire,
I suggest you find out.

-Find out?
-Yes.

We could make a trip
around the country.

Might open your eyes a little.

But, uh, how about my cold?

This could easily help your cold
and your country.

A miracle?

It could well be, Your Majesty.

How worketh we this miracle?

Well...

How does it strike you, sire?

Well, as thou sayest,
it's a... cinch?

-Cinch.
-Cinch.

I postpone my official visit
to London.

Make the trip disguised
as a humble freeman

with Clarence and me along
for good luck.

But dost think
that any humble garb

can conceal evidence
of our royal blood?

Well, it'll take a bit of doing,
but we'll handle it.

-Till dawn, sire?
-Till dawn.

I'll only be
a minute, honey.

I just wanted to say so long.

-So long?
-Goodbye.

Thou art leaving?

In a few hours.

Oh, I see.

But I had to
tell you this, honey.

I think you're doing the right thing,
about Sir Lancelot.

I mean, why, marrying me
would be a national disaster.

Disaster, sire?

This knight business, I'd...
I'd be no good at it.

Instead of gettin' on a horse
and goin' out

and polishing off
a few ogres or dragons

I'd be hanging around
the house,

watering the lawn or fixing
the fence or something.

And our kids would grow up and
think their daddy was a sissy

because we'd be the only family
in the neighborhood

without a dragon's head
over the fireplace.

It's better this way, honey.

You marry Sir Lancelot,
settle down

and raise a lot of
little lords and ladies.

I hope you live
happily ever after.

Goodbye, Sandy.

So long, Hank.

What thinkest thou, my boy?
Do I look like a commoner?

Well...

Well, what about this?

Yes, that helps.
Mmm-hmm. Better.

And this?

Here. May I?

-Thank you.
-Oh, yes, much better.

Huh.

I say, we are not alone.

These clothes
seem to be inhabited.

Perfect.

Perfect.

-Shall we then?
-Uh-huh.

Psst.

Logris, thy men are ready?

I could start at once, milady.

Slowly, slowly.

We'll let our birds fly a while

before we spring the trap.

La, la, Ia-Ia-Ia,
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

La, la, la-la-la,
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

We 're busy doing nothing

Working the whole day through

Trying to find
lots of things not to do

We're busy going nowhere
Isn't it just a crime?

We'd like to be unhappy

But we never do have
the time

I have to watch
the river

To see that
it doesn't stop

And stick around
the rosebuds

So they'll know
when to pop

Better keep the crickets cheerful

They're really
a solemn bunch

Hustle

Bustle

And only an hour
for lunch

La, la, la-la-la,
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

La, la, la-la-la,
la-la-la-la-la-la...

Uh, shall we proceed?

We're busy doing nothing

Working the whole day through

Trying to find
lots of things not to do

We're busy going nowhere
Isn't it just a crime?

We'd like to be unhappy

But we never do have
the time

I have to wake
the sun up

He's liable
to sleep all day

True.

And then inspect
the rainbows

So they'll be
bright and gay

You must rehearse
the songbirds

To see that
they sing in key...

-If you insist.
-I dost. I dost.

Hustle

Bustle

And never a moment free...

-Whoop!
-Drop that bone.

We're busy doing nothing

Working the whole day through

Trying to find
lots of things not to do

We're busy going nowhere
Isn't it just a crime?

We'd like to be unhappy

But we never do have
the time...

Going to the game?

I have to meet
a turtle

I'm teaching him
how to swim

Then I have to shine
the dewdrops

You know, they're
looking rather dim?

I told my friend
the robin

I'd buy him
a brand-new vest

Hustle, bustle

I wish I could
take a rest

Trying to find lots of things
not to do

Isn't it just a crime?

We'd better
make it snappy

There's another hill
to climb

We'd like
to be unhappy, but...

We never do have

-We never do have
-We never do, never do

Never do, never do
Never do have the time

Never do have the time

What makest thou
of this, my friends?

Oh, that's a beaut.

Methinks 'tis from too much walking,
Your Majesty.

Yeah.

Dost realize, my friend

that I am undoubtedly
the first of royal blood

to possess this
strange affliction?

Future sufferers
of this malady

shall know it by the name

King Arthur's Foot.

I don't think so, sire.

I think it's more likely
to be known as a bunion.

What thinkest thou, Your Majesty?

Has it been worth it,
seeing your people as they are?

In truth, I know not.
Their lot is indeed a hard one,

but it is a hard world.

But you've seen
hunger and misery.

-What more do you want?
-I want a bath.

You know, we took this trip
to prove to you

that there is want
and oppression.

Sir Boss! Your Majesty!

Your Majesty, Sir Boss,
rise quickly.

People of quality approach.

-Where?
-Over yon hill.

Rise quickly, sire.
They come closer.

Let 'em come.
I've got a binion.

No, no, it's a "bunion."

Come on.
You're not king now, you know.

You're just one of the fellas.

Come along.

Look down, sire,
as becomes a humble freeman.

I say, that's Bedivere.

Undoubtedly, he is taking the
Lady Bedivere to London on a shopping tour.

That's not the Lady Bedivere.

Oh, the rogue.

Halt.

Oh, this'll make a toothsome
morsel for the court.

So thou chooseth
not to bow, peasant!

A reward for thy insolence!

You need
any further proof

of injustices,
Your Majesty?

-When reach we London?
-On the morrow, sire.

A village lies ahead where we
can bed for the night.

Good.

On the morrow
there shall be changes.

Not a bad idea.
Let's get our stuff.

They lie hidden within, sire.

-All three asleep?
-As babes.

'Twould be a simple matter
to slit their throats.

There will be no
slitting of throats yet.

I want them alive now.

Aye.

-But, sire...
-Shh!

Your Majesty,
it's Sir Logris and his men.

They're gunning for you.

-Gunning?
-Shh!

Leave out
the gunning then,

but they're
after you.

We're in trouble
up to our necks.

-Trouble?
-Shh!

-Shh!
-Shh!

Come on.

Shh.

Shh.

Three men
thou sayest?

Aye. One broad
and strong as an ox

and the one with an odd
foreign manner of speech

and the one who said
he was king did sneeze.

The king shall reward
thy loyalty.

By the morrow
there may be no king.

He hath need
of friends, milady.

I thank thee.

Fetch me such clothes
as a boy might wear.

-But, milady...
-Do as I bid.

-I journey to London.
-Yes, milady.

Our next offer, three male slaves
to be sold as a group.

What is thy bid
for this fine specimen?

A bit soft, perhaps,

yet sound
of wind and limb.

What is thy bid?

Half a crown.

Half a crown.
Will anybody say five shillings?

-Five shillings.
-Five shillings.

-Who'll make it ten?
-Ten shillings.

Ten shillings I'm bid.
Who'll make it one pound?

One pound.

One pound.

And for this
handsome specimen

Who only needs
good food and hard work

to be brought to the peak
of physical perfection?

Uh, what is thy bid?

One farthing.

Make that a pound
or I'll have thee boiled in oil!

Ten pounds for the lot.

Ten pounds, sire?

Ten pounds. Remove them
to the slave quarters.

Sold to the gentleman
with the beard

for ten pounds.

Here, take 'em away.

Now, our next offer,

is this fine specimen
of womanhood.

Sound of wind and limb.

Obviously a first class...

Look yonder, sire.

-That's Tex.
-What is thy offer, gentlemen?

Move along.

That youth,
doth he not seem familiar?

That's no youth, Saggy.

Two pounds bid. Who'll
make it three pounds?

Who'll make it three pounds?
Do I hear three pounds?

-'Tis I, sire.
-Go back, Sandy.

You'll only get
in trouble here.

I'll not go back.
I came to help thee.

Honey, this is
no place for you.

But, Hank...

I would add the Lady Alisande
to our collection.

I'm not without friends,
Hank. I'll return soon.

Hey, wait a minute.
She... He...

-Forward, slaves!
-Move on!

Greetings,
O Noble King.

Oh, do not rise, sire.
Nor any of thee.

Perceive this
monumental joke.

My king would see his people
as they really are.

So what am I,
his devoted servant, to do?

Why, help him of course.

Help him to see the
miserable heart of his domain

not as a freeman,
not as a serf

but as a slave.

Yes, my king
shall be a slave,

and all his friends, too.

They shall journey
to the mines of Devon,

there to work,
and rot,

and eventually,
to die.

Sleep well,
all of you.

You leave on the morrow.

Nice guy.

Are you asleep, honey?

Mmm-mmm,
I cannot sleep,

knowing that tonight
is the end of everything.

Oh, no. Don't you remember
the book and what it says?

"Love once, but love
always and forever."

You shouldn't have
come here, honey.

You'd be safe in Camelot.

But in Camelot
I'd not be content.

You mean
you're content here?

Whatever happens,
we're together.

You really mean that,
don't you, honey?

Yes, Hank.

Now and for always.

Don't you know

Always isn't
too much time...

Oh, that's so true.
Don't you ever forget it either.

I won't, Hank.

-Are you comfortable?
-Mmm-hmm.

Once and for always

Let's say that
it's agreed

Wishing days
are over

This is all we need

And tonight

We'll notify
the stars above

That once
and for always

And no less
than always

You and I will be

In love

If we get separated, get the
pistol in the blacksmith shop.

-Aye, sire.
-Okay. Come on, honey.

-Hank. Wait, please.
-What? What's that?

I've a strange foreboding.

After this night
I'll not see thee again.

Oh, don't talk like that.

You take this, Hank.
And whenever you look upon it,

remember thy love in Camelot.

-His Majesty.
-Come on, let's get out of this.

Who goes yonder?
Who goes?

Guards! Guards!

We best run, Your Majesty.

Evil tidings, milord.

Sagramore has escaped,
killing a guard in the process.

Hmm. He'll make for Camelot.

-Send men to overtake him.
-Aye, sire.

And remove the girl to my tower.

And the other two prisoners?

The other two?

Oh, yes. Logris, I would have
thee remind the king

of a law which he himself
did place upon the statute books.

What law, sire?

If one slave of a household
be guilty of murder

then all male slaves
of the same household...

Shall die With him.

Bring on the first prisoner.

-I have but one wish.
-Yeah?

To catch this blasted flea
before I die.

How much longer
wouldst thou say?

The man said noon.
It's about noon now.

Move.

Do you suppose I shall have
to remove my comforter?

Oh, no,
you'll catch a cold again.

Supposeth thou could extract
another miracle

from thy
book of wonders?

It'd take an awful big stunt
to get us out of this.

It'd take just about
the biggest...

Wait a minute.

If I remember right...

What day is this?

The 21st day of June

in the year 528.

I think then, sire,
I have your miracle.

-Is it a big one?
-Oh, it's a whopper.

Oh, here's where I make
a comeback!

After you, my friend.
Please don't stand on ceremony.

Step aside, please.
I have a few words to say.

My dear friends...

What manner of nonsense is this?

Die in humility,
as becomes a slave.

That's the old routine.

The trouble is we're not slaves.

Then who art thou?

Sir Boss.
Magician to King Arthur here.

Maker of miracles,
the mightiest wizard of them all.

Now listen, all of you.
Unless the king and I

and the rest of these prisoners
are freed immediately,

I shall blot out the sun
and it will never shine again.

All right. Very well.
You asked for it then.

Now, with a few
well-chosen words

I shall blot out
the sun forever.

Walla Walla,
Washington.

Punxsutawney,
Pennsylvania.

Saskatoon,
Saskatchewan.

New York, New Haven
and Hartford
leaving on track...

Perth Am boy.

Save us, O Mighty Sorcerer!
Save us!

Bring back the sun!

I beseech thee!

Oh, release the sorcerer
in heaven's name!

Release him!
Release him!

Stay this calamity,
I beseech thee.

I would rather
die by the axe.

I'm sorry, sir.
Even I can't stop this show.

-Free him!
-Release him!

Ay, free him!

Set the prisoners free!

The Lord Mayor speaketh.

Set the prisoners free!

Very well. Hold it.

This is Sir Boss again.
You can come out now.

Olly, olly oxen free.

All right, release us.
Release His Majesty here.

Release all these prisoners.

How can I thank thee?

Show me how to get
to Merlin's tower.

'Tis on the inland lake
'twixt in Camelot.

Thou wouldst go alone, unarmed?

Sandy's alone and unarmed,
isn't she?

Wish me luck, sire.

Come on. Release the king here.
See you later.

Sir Boss.
The king, is he...

Safe and sound in London.
Did you bring the pistol?

-Aye, sir.
-Give it over.

Where goest thou?

Sandy's in Merlin's tower.

Be not rash, sire.
Let me come with thee.

Thanks, but you'd never be able
to keep up on that nag.

Clarence, if anything happens,

it's been nice knowing you.

'Tis our friend
come to pay us a call.

Something's gone wrong.

Mmm.

Whatever's gone wrong
will soon be right again.

Lower the drawbridge. See that
the girl is placed in the courtyard.

In plain view.
Understand?

Aye, sire.

Hank, go back!
Flee for your life!

Hank!

Hank, thou must not leave me!

-Thou must not leave me, Hank!
-Sandy.

Well, that's it.

When I came to, I was
back in Connecticut.

And Old Man Miller,

he'd come looking for Tex,
was kneeling over me.

-And Sandy?
-Sandy?

Never saw her again.

Well...

Young man,

the view from
the east parapet

is particularly lovely
at this time of the afternoon.

Yes, sir.

The east parapet, mind you.

My niece is usually there
about this time.

Thank you, sir, and goodbye.

I beg your pardon, uh...

Sandy!

How did you know my name?

I'm glad you asked me.

Won't you sit down?
This may take a little time.