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1
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,333
and may contain
mature subject matter.
2
00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:13,266
Viewer discretion
is advised.
3
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:37,734
and may contain
mat(dramatic music)er.
4
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,433
(groan)
5
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,734
- How did you find me?
6
00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:46,967
- I followed the trail
of random brutality.
7
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:50,266
And by the way, you left
this in the snow.
8
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,734
These cost seven grand, Red!
9
00:00:52,867 --> 00:00:54,300
- So bill me.
10
00:00:54,834 --> 00:00:55,900
- The chief called.
11
00:00:56,033 --> 00:00:57,934
He's sending a chopper
in two hours.
12
00:00:58,066 --> 00:00:59,100
- Negative.
13
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,667
There's a Soviet
base around here.
14
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,000
If we don't take it out,
15
00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:07,767
they'll spread Communism
all across Antarctica.
16
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,600
- But there's nothing down here.
17
00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:14,433
- You want seals and penguins
singing L'Internationale,
that's your business.
18
00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:17,700
But I'm drawing a line
in the sand...
19
00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:19,100
snow.
20
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,133
Shit, where is it?
21
00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:25,633
(helicopter approaching)
22
00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:27,300
- Our chopper already?
23
00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:32,467
Uh-oh.
(scream)
24
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:39,233
Agh!
25
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,400
(screaming)
26
00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:44,333
(mechanical beeps)
27
00:01:44,467 --> 00:01:48,300
(fighting grunts)
28
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,967
(scream)
29
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,567
(mechanical beeps)
30
00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:56,533
(urgent beeping)
31
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:57,734
(crash)
32
00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,266
(scream)
33
00:02:00,934 --> 00:02:03,233
- Told you there were
Russians here.
34
00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:06,633
- You paid me for a documentary
35
00:02:06,767 --> 00:02:07,633
about a Manhattan real estate
36
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:10,066
developer and that's what
I delivered, Gail.
37
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,667
- Sure, but then you called
the guy a slum lord.
38
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,800
- Yeah, that's not why
he bailed.
39
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,533
It's 'cause I beat him
at arm wrestling.
40
00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:17,934
Dude has small hands.
41
00:02:18,066 --> 00:02:19,166
And a super tiny dick.
42
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,166
- Well, he's refused
to sign the release.
43
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,033
- Did you try giving him
a smaller pen?
44
00:02:23,166 --> 00:02:25,166
- You owe us a documentary.
45
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,700
Or half a million dollars.
46
00:02:26,834 --> 00:02:29,900
We're public broadcasting,
we'll get rough if we have to.
47
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:31,400
(gunshots on TV)
48
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:34,934
(TV): A 49-year-old unidentified
man went berserk last night
49
00:02:35,066 --> 00:02:37,066
opening fire...
- Hey, what if I got you
50
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,700
an exclusive on the Antarctic
penguin killer?
51
00:02:39,834 --> 00:02:41,800
Hmm? Would we be
even-steven then?
52
00:02:41,934 --> 00:02:43,467
- I'm listening...
53
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:45,967
- This is crazy.
54
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:47,834
None of our intelligence
suggested
55
00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:50,233
any Soviet activity
in Antarctica.
56
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:52,400
- Intelligence, my ass.
57
00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:55,166
Let's find out where
that thing came from.
58
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,066
- But we have to report
to the UN
59
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,900
weather station for evac.
60
00:02:59,033 --> 00:03:01,667
(groan)
Sullivan gave me strict orders
61
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,700
before my phone battery ran out.
62
00:03:03,834 --> 00:03:06,500
Is that man ever not furious?
63
00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:07,633
(groan)
64
00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:09,934
Ugh, look who I'm talking to.
65
00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:12,967
Careful, that could
still explode.
66
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,333
- It should've already.
67
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:17,700
Probably low fuel
in the tank, which means...
68
00:03:18,066 --> 00:03:20,433
- It came from somewhere
close to here?
69
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,166
(groan)
70
00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:25,200
(grunting effort)
71
00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:28,300
- One survivor.
72
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,867
All right, Commie,
wake up!
73
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,033
Where's your base?
Spit it out!
74
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:36,433
- Good job saving her,
but be careful!
75
00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:40,200
You could get in trouble
for shaking a Soviet national.
76
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,200
Ugh!
77
00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:45,834
(sigh)
78
00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:46,800
(groan)
79
00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:48,600
- You are... American?
80
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,300
Oh, thank God.
81
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,166
(groaning)
82
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:57,667
(Plywood): Oh... oh... mm...
83
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,200
Darren, stop. Ah! Not here.
84
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:02,633
Someone will see us.
85
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:04,200
(sensual music)
Oh...
86
00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:07,900
I love you, but we can't
keep seeing each other.
87
00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:09,600
(exhaling)
88
00:04:09,734 --> 00:04:10,934
Whoa.
(nervous laugh)
89
00:04:11,066 --> 00:04:13,000
Uh, the things that come out
of your mouth
90
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,667
when you get knocked silly,
91
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,567
uh, am I right?
92
00:04:31,266 --> 00:04:34,166
- Sally? Sally Ketchup?
93
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,533
- Bill Belisle?
94
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:38,166
What in God's name
are you doing here?
95
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:38,834
(grunting)
96
00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:40,100
Leeching off of my brother
97
00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:43,467
for another one of
your goddamn cover stories?
98
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,900
Fucking typical.
99
00:04:45,033 --> 00:04:47,133
- Aren't you here to do
the same thing?
100
00:04:47,266 --> 00:04:50,834
Word is you owe public TV
a documentary.
101
00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:53,633
Careful, those bastards
play rough.
102
00:04:53,767 --> 00:04:54,900
- Yeah, so do I, cupcake.
103
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,867
Which means stay out of my way,
104
00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,266
okay? This is my story to tell.
105
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,033
Besides, I thought you only
wrote stories by
106
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:05,800
"unnamed sources"
so you wouldn't have to pull
107
00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:08,033
your lazy, fat ass
off a bar stool.
108
00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:10,734
- Come on, we don't have
to compete.
109
00:05:10,867 --> 00:05:13,533
We can work together
like we did in the old days.
110
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:17,000
- You mean, the old days before
you left me for what's-her-name,
111
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:18,333
the 26-year-old?
112
00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:20,834
Heh. I don't think so.
113
00:05:22,233 --> 00:05:25,300
Excuse me, folks. That guy...
wearing real leather.
114
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:26,367
(both): Hmm.
115
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,133
- Oh, that's funny.
116
00:05:30,266 --> 00:05:31,633
(laugh)
117
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,266
- Agh!
118
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,100
(grunting)
119
00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:37,633
Hey! Don't you dare.
120
00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:39,500
(wind whistling)
121
00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:42,200
- I don't know of
any Soviet bases here.
122
00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:44,333
We launched from
a civilian ship.
123
00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:47,166
- Sure, and we flew in
on the dragon
124
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,367
from NeverEnding Story.
125
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:53,233
Now, where's the goddamn base?
126
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:55,700
- I had nothing to do
with shooting at you.
127
00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:57,200
That was the pilot.
128
00:05:57,867 --> 00:06:00,700
I am Olga Dynamo,
a civilian scientist
129
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:02,567
being delivered to the UN
weather station.
130
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,500
- Hey, that's where
we're heading.
131
00:06:04,633 --> 00:06:07,533
Ah!
- Shut up. That's classified.
132
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,266
- The Soviets sentenced me
to this wasteland
133
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,333
because I was caught humming,
134
00:06:11,467 --> 00:06:12,633
"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"
135
00:06:12,767 --> 00:06:13,867
in Red Square.
136
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,367
Please, I want to come
with you to freedom.
137
00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:18,967
(groan)
- Red.
138
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:21,800
If she wants asylum,
139
00:06:21,934 --> 00:06:24,834
we should take her with us now
when we go-go.
140
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:25,533
(groan)
141
00:06:25,667 --> 00:06:26,567
Ah, damn!
142
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,333
Now that song's in my head.
143
00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:29,867
- I wouldn't trust her.
144
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:34,667
One thing I know about Russkies
is they never tell the truth.
145
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,266
- That's kind of a sweeping
statement.
146
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,400
They're not all Communists.
147
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:42,433
- Ugh! I hate the Communists!
148
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:46,700
May God curse the filthy
Bolsheviks who have sullied
my beloved Russia!
149
00:06:47,066 --> 00:06:49,900
- See? She's beseeching
God for help.
150
00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:52,367
That's frowned on by Communists.
151
00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:54,200
- Ugh!
152
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,633
- Uh, ma'am, uh, maybe
cool it on the stomping?
153
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,066
- Agh!
154
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,066
- He said cool it
on the stomping, Commie!
155
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,133
(all screaming)
156
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,700
- Ugh! Ugh!
157
00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:13,633
(groaning efforts)
158
00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:18,800
- Where's Plywood?
159
00:07:18,934 --> 00:07:22,066
You killed him for your Kremlin
overlords, didn't you?
160
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,166
(Plywood whining in pain)
161
00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:31,200
- Did that explorer eat
all of his sled dogs?
162
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,133
(satisfied groan)
163
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:37,066
(groaning in pain)
164
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,000
(sigh)
- I think my ankle's broken.
165
00:07:40,734 --> 00:07:42,066
I can't walk.
166
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,633
(small gasp)
167
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:50,333
- Oh, right,
that's only for horses.
168
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,700
I'll go find that base...
169
00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:57,300
If she even looks
at you funny, shoot her.
170
00:07:57,433 --> 00:08:00,200
- I don't think I'm allowed
to shoot prisoners.
171
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,667
But Red?
172
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,500
We have less than 90 minutes
to evac,
173
00:08:04,633 --> 00:08:06,700
so quick as a bunny, okay?
174
00:08:07,066 --> 00:08:10,633
- Don't ever say, "quick as
a bunny" to me again.
175
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:14,300
(investigative music)
176
00:08:14,734 --> 00:08:16,266
(ship horn resounding)
177
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,867
(knocking on door)
178
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000
(door opens)
179
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:24,934
- You know, most people wait
to hear "come in," arsehole.
180
00:08:25,066 --> 00:08:27,467
- Most people know
the difference between leather
181
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,233
and canvas, but tell
that to my jacket.
182
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:35,367
Sally, I need to talk to you.
183
00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:39,233
- Ah, Christ, what is this,
some kind of AA thing?
184
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:42,200
Please tell me you're not
gonna step-nine me.
185
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,200
- Look, I wanna clear the air
186
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:47,133
and apologize for leaving you
the way I did.
187
00:08:47,266 --> 00:08:50,367
I was messed up after
the Times fired me.
188
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:54,266
- Really? So messed up that, let
me see, you had to run off
189
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,000
with a busty journalism student?
190
00:08:56,133 --> 00:08:59,000
- Sally, I'm not here
for your damn brother.
191
00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:01,934
I came because I knew
you'd be here.
192
00:09:02,066 --> 00:09:03,133
I miss you.
193
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:05,800
More than I ever
thought I would.
194
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:07,967
- Hah!
195
00:09:08,533 --> 00:09:10,133
- We could be great together.
196
00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:11,266
- Fuck you!
197
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,266
- Forgive me, Sally.
198
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,867
I made the biggest mistake
of my life when I left you.
199
00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:22,000
(kissing moans)
200
00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:23,133
(romantic music)
201
00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:26,834
- You taste like whisky
and cigarettes.
202
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,200
(chuckle)
203
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:30,433
- Welcome home, baby.
204
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:32,200
(moaning)
205
00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:33,567
- Agh!
206
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,433
- It's twisted, but not broken.
207
00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:37,667
You'll be fine,
my American friend.
208
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,800
- Actually, I'm Canadian.
209
00:09:39,934 --> 00:09:43,667
I was sent here to babysit Red
and keep him out of trouble.
210
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,767
- You are failing at that,
I see.
211
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,400
Do your superiors send you
on these bogus missions
212
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:49,800
because you're a homosexual?
213
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:52,633
- Uh, that never even
occurred to me.
214
00:09:53,266 --> 00:09:56,633
If they knew, they'd run me out
of law enforcement altogether.
215
00:09:56,767 --> 00:10:00,400
- Is that why you broke it off
with this Darren person?
216
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:01,834
(sigh)
- Yes.
217
00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:04,900
And I can't believe I outed
myself like that.
218
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,667
- You and I have much in common.
219
00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:11,667
We've both had loved ones
stolen from us
by oppressive regimes...
220
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:15,200
My father worked for
the Politburo in East Berlin
221
00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,367
and my mother wrestled
bears professionally.
222
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,000
They were secretly religious
223
00:10:19,133 --> 00:10:21,333
and wanted to worship freely
in the West...
224
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:23,533
as well as shop
at Saks 5th Avenue.
225
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:24,533
(chuckle)
226
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,266
But I was afraid to leave.
227
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,600
Papa promised me a Capitalist
Fashion Doll if I came along.
228
00:10:29,734 --> 00:10:31,934
We could almost smell
the freedom ahead of us.
229
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:35,467
Mostly Obsession by Calvin
Klein and French fry grease.
230
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:36,667
But then...
231
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:39,900
(sinister music)
232
00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:42,667
(screaming)
233
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,800
(gunshots)
(screams)
234
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,100
(shriek)
235
00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:47,800
I was sent to
an orphanage and raised
236
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:49,433
by the Communist Party.
237
00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:52,133
Which is not a fun
kind of party.
238
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:53,467
There's no cake.
239
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,533
- Huh. You poor thing.
240
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,400
No wonder you despise them.
241
00:10:57,533 --> 00:11:01,667
- With the burning hatred of
10,000 nuclear explosions.
242
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:06,233
- All right then, let's find Red
and get to our evac ASAP!
243
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,533
- Hmm.
244
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:12,033
(sweet music)
245
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:14,700
Thank you for removing
my shackles.
246
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,400
And I am sorry.
247
00:11:17,533 --> 00:11:19,100
- For what?
- For this.
248
00:11:19,233 --> 00:11:20,166
(grunting)
249
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,633
- Ah! Ew...
250
00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:23,633
(dramatic music)
251
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,500
(bone cracking)
Oh! Ugh!
252
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:31,200
- Yeah, sure, Bill,
we can work together.
253
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:33,467
Even if it's just in case
I need to slice you open
254
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,700
and climb inside of you
if I get cold.
255
00:11:35,834 --> 00:11:39,567
- Ah, you say the sweetest
things, Sally.
256
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,233
Any idea how we'll find
your brother?
257
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:44,233
Did he tell you where he'll be?
258
00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:45,767
- Yeah, we don't talk so much.
259
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,800
But he does have a way
of announcing himself.
260
00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:51,633
Usually through
massive destruction.
261
00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:54,700
- So, he won't be willing
to speak to me,
262
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:56,567
er, I mean...
263
00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,900
- I thought you weren't
here for him.
264
00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:02,433
You little steaming turd.
265
00:12:02,567 --> 00:12:04,700
You are covering his story!
266
00:12:04,834 --> 00:12:07,500
And you just wanted me
to lead you to him!
267
00:12:07,633 --> 00:12:12,700
- Aw, come on! We had fun,
didn't we? Why stop now?
268
00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:16,266
- Oh, yeah, that minute
and a half of sweaty groping
269
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,533
really did it for me.
270
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:18,400
(strong impact)
271
00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:19,467
(grunting)
272
00:12:19,834 --> 00:12:22,533
- I'm gonna go see why
it's so choppy out there.
273
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:25,333
- Fine, but you might wanna pay
attention there, Indiana Jones.
274
00:12:25,467 --> 00:12:27,233
You're putting on my underwear.
275
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:32,333
(suspenseful music)
276
00:12:34,934 --> 00:12:36,433
(groan)
277
00:12:45,066 --> 00:12:50,533
(groan)
- I knew you sneaky Soviet
bastards were up to something.
278
00:12:51,233 --> 00:12:53,400
(battle cry)
279
00:12:53,533 --> 00:12:54,667
(gasping)
280
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,867
(panicked screams)
281
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,367
(action music)
282
00:13:13,066 --> 00:13:14,266
(satisfied groan)
283
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,867
(engine roaring)
284
00:13:18,867 --> 00:13:21,700
(gunshots)
285
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:26,667
Shit! I thought
that would blow up.
286
00:13:30,867 --> 00:13:31,633
(chuckle)
287
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:34,000
- Frozen Ketchup, anyone?
288
00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:38,700
When a superior makes
a joke, you laugh, Comrades.
289
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,333
(forced chuckle)
290
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:49,867
(beep)
291
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,266
His blood is a fascinating
cocktail of hemoglobin,
292
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,934
anti-freeze, and drugs.
293
00:13:57,066 --> 00:13:59,467
(groan)
A lot of drugs.
294
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,066
- Bring him to Komrade Ultra
hauptquartier
295
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,900
as soon as possible.
296
00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:05,900
Was war das mein Schatz?
297
00:14:06,033 --> 00:14:11,333
Yes, he's a perfect kandidat
for the Komrade Ultra program.
298
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:15,300
- Hey Dr. K, why don't you come
down here
299
00:14:15,433 --> 00:14:19,734
so I can twist your nuts off
and feed them to a polar bear.
300
00:14:19,867 --> 00:14:24,900
- There are no polar bears
in Antarctica, Herr Ketchup.
301
00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:26,600
(laugh)
302
00:14:26,734 --> 00:14:31,233
- Why are the Soviets working
with a Nazi like Dr. K?
303
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:33,900
- Desperate times call
for strange bedfellows...
304
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:36,400
or however that American
expression goes.
305
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:41,333
This base will be a training
facility for super-soldiers
engineered by Dr. K.
306
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:44,967
- What's he want me for?
My pretty face?
307
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,467
- I don't know, but we were
dispatched here the moment
308
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,500
he saw you slaughtering
those penguins.
309
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,900
He has plans for you, Ketchup.
310
00:14:52,033 --> 00:14:53,967
- I got plans for him.
311
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,200
I'm gonna pull his intestines
312
00:14:56,333 --> 00:15:00,266
through his belly button
and fly him like a kite.
313
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,633
- Not while
you're wearing these.
314
00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:03,567
(beep)
315
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:04,467
(scream)
316
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:05,834
When the submarine arrives,
317
00:15:05,967 --> 00:15:06,934
chain him in the hold.
318
00:15:07,266 --> 00:15:08,734
(Plywood, in echo): Ketchup!
319
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:12,600
- Oh!
320
00:15:12,734 --> 00:15:13,667
(grunt)
321
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:15,900
(groaning)
322
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:17,900
- Holy crap, you were right
323
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:19,967
about there being a Soviet base.
324
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:21,900
I'm sorry I doubted you.
325
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:24,300
- You don't have to apologize.
326
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:26,000
- Aw, thanks, Red.
327
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,700
I don't care what Sullivan
says, you're a hell of an agent.
328
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:33,133
- No, I meant you don't have
to apologize
329
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,800
because I don't care
what you think.
330
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:38,467
Or say. Or do.
331
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,133
- Oh. Huh.
332
00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:43,700
Well, anyway, we've got
30 minutes to evac.
333
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:44,867
(groan)
334
00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:47,433
Did you hear that?
30 minutes!
335
00:15:48,266 --> 00:15:51,200
Do you need a hand?
Backup? Anything?!
336
00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:54,800
(sigh)
He's a good agent, but
he fricking sucks
337
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:56,333
at communicating.
338
00:15:56,934 --> 00:15:58,233
(wind whistling)
339
00:15:58,367 --> 00:16:01,567
(indistinct conversations)
340
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:06,500
(dramatic music)
341
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,166
- I bet you anything
that's for Red.
(screams)
342
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,567
You know, in High School,
he was voted
343
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:13,533
"Most Likely to Cause Several
International Incidents."
344
00:16:14,633 --> 00:16:15,533
Bill?
345
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:18,033
- Oh, come one!
You're seriously gonna scoop
346
00:16:18,166 --> 00:16:20,100
my brother's story from me?!
347
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:21,600
(grunting efforts)
348
00:16:21,734 --> 00:16:26,066
- It's nothing personal, I just
really need that interview!
349
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:32,934
- Sleeping with me was "nothing
personal"? You piece of shit!
350
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,300
(passengers screaming)
351
00:16:45,066 --> 00:16:46,266
- Sally...
352
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,333
You made it! That's... great.
353
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:53,200
- Yeah, hey, listen, is there
a life jacket on that boat?
354
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:56,567
- Uh, I think so. Why?
355
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,667
- 'Cause you're gonna need it!
356
00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:04,000
See you on the flip side,
fucker!
357
00:17:04,934 --> 00:17:08,867
(dramatic music)
358
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,233
- That does look safe, Red.
359
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:14,934
- Unless you wanna get
barbecued, come on!
- Ah!
360
00:17:15,066 --> 00:17:16,500
- Ugh...
361
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:19,000
(grunting)
(shivering)
362
00:17:19,133 --> 00:17:20,367
- Ketchup!
363
00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:37,800
(action music)
364
00:17:44,533 --> 00:17:45,533
(gasp)
365
00:17:52,967 --> 00:17:55,500
(epic music)
366
00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:56,900
(grunt)
367
00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:59,400
(scream of pain)
368
00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:02,834
- Dammit! That's the same leg
I sprained!
369
00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:04,300
(scream)
370
00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:06,900
Gah! Jesus H. Murphy!
371
00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:09,233
Give a guy some warning!
372
00:18:12,066 --> 00:18:14,200
- Snow suit and backpack! Now!
373
00:18:15,533 --> 00:18:17,934
I said now!
Get naked, Comrades!
374
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:24,400
(wind whistling)
375
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:30,000
- Holy Christ on the cross,
I thought there'd be at least
376
00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:33,200
a Howard Johnson or
a trading post or something.
377
00:18:33,633 --> 00:18:36,500
There's like...
nothing down here!
378
00:18:38,266 --> 00:18:40,066
- Keep heading across
the glacier
379
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,033
and you'll reach
the evac point.
380
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:45,400
- Where do you think
I'm going? 7-11?
381
00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:49,900
(epic music)
382
00:18:51,166 --> 00:18:52,166
(grunt)
383
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,233
(panting)
384
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,533
(groaning)
385
00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:57,133
(clears throat)
386
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,200
(grunting)
387
00:18:58,333 --> 00:19:00,533
- Why would you go back
to the FBI, Ketchup?
388
00:19:00,667 --> 00:19:03,300
They treat you like a fool,
sending you on bogus missions
389
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:07,600
to keep you out of trouble.
- Better than being a mindless
super-soldier
390
00:19:07,734 --> 00:19:10,633
suckling at Mother Russia's
iron teat.
391
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:11,567
(grunt)
392
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:12,700
- With Komrade Ultra,
393
00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:15,200
you'd be respected,
trusted, honoured.
394
00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:17,433
You'd be a part
of something, Red.
395
00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:19,066
(fighting grunts)
396
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:24,533
- Oh, with a hammer and sickle
on my chest? No thanks!
397
00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:26,166
- The stars and stripes
are no better.
398
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:28,767
- Look how they treated your gay
partner like an outcast.
399
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:33,467
(gasp)
- Yeah, well, she lied to me
about STATI killing her parents!
400
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,700
- I simply took advantage
of your good heart by connecting
401
00:19:36,834 --> 00:19:37,934
with you on a human level.
402
00:19:38,066 --> 00:19:40,200
Which indicates that
you are a terrible agent.
403
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,333
- Take her down, Red!
404
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:44,367
- Don't mind if I do.
405
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,367
(fighting grunts)
406
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,200
- What has America ever
given you? A thankless job.
407
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:52,567
Loneliness. Scorn. They don't
even seem to care if you live
or die.
408
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:54,233
Does anyone?
409
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:55,467
(groan)
410
00:19:57,734 --> 00:20:01,000
- Holy shit, is Red fighting
a lady?
411
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,133
Oh, man, that is a new low.
412
00:20:03,266 --> 00:20:04,266
(groan)
413
00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:09,033
- You gonna flap your gums
all day, Dynamo,
414
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:12,333
or are you gonna finish
this dance?
415
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:17,433
(intense music)
416
00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:22,100
(agonized roar)
417
00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:23,000
(thud)
418
00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:24,100
- Red!
419
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:29,734
(scream)
420
00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:35,834
(dramatic music)
421
00:20:44,066 --> 00:20:45,200
(groan)
422
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:46,667
(evil chuckle)
423
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,367
(groan)
424
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:53,233
(thud)
425
00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,100
(chuckle)
426
00:20:59,767 --> 00:21:00,667
(gasp)
427
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,233
- Oh!
428
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,000
- Oh, no! Red Ketchup!
429
00:21:11,133 --> 00:21:14,133
(Sally): Ouch, all right, well,
Plywood's dead.
430
00:21:14,266 --> 00:21:18,000
As you just saw, my brother,
Steve "Red" Ketchup, was
431
00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:21,400
abducted by the Russian navy
here in Antarctica.
432
00:21:21,533 --> 00:21:25,133
Oh, boy, that means I now
gotta find a way to the USSR.
433
00:21:25,967 --> 00:21:29,333
Seriously, there is
fuck all down here!
434
00:21:29,467 --> 00:21:32,834
(dramatic music)
435
00:21:33,467 --> 00:21:37,000
(grunting efforts)
436
00:22:10,066 --> 00:22:13,133
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