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1
00:00:13,161 --> 00:00:15,401
- ♪ 00/7, you make me live... ♪
2
00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:19,241
- ♪ Whenever this world is
cruel to me... ♪
3
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,761
♪ .I' got you to help me forgive... ♪
4
00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:26,681
Operator: Please hang up
and try your call again.
5
00:00:26,801 --> 00:00:30,001
♪ You make me live now, honey
6
00:00:30,121 --> 00:00:33,161
♪ ooh, you make me live
7
00:00:33,281 --> 00:00:35,001
♪ oh, you're the... ♪
8
00:00:35,121 --> 00:00:37,361
Are you the owner of this establishment?
9
00:00:37,481 --> 00:00:39,481
Do I look like I run a bookshop?!
10
00:00:39,601 --> 00:00:41,481
Hey! You can't go in there!
11
00:00:41,601 --> 00:00:44,521
♪ ...['11 never be lonely
you're my only one
12
00:00:44,641 --> 00:00:45,937
shop radio: ♪ana'_l'love the things... ♪
13
00:00:45,961 --> 00:00:47,761
Aziraphale!
14
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,201
- ♪ [Really love things that you do... ♪
- Aziraphale,
15
00:00:50,321 --> 00:00:52,801
where the heaven are you, you idiot?
I can't find you!
16
00:00:52,921 --> 00:00:55,681
Aziraphale, for god's...
17
00:00:55,801 --> 00:00:57,761
For Satan's... argh!
18
00:00:57,881 --> 00:01:00,121
For somebody's sake, where are you?!
19
00:01:09,761 --> 00:01:11,041
You've gone.
20
00:01:11,161 --> 00:01:13,161
Somebody killed my best friend!
21
00:01:14,521 --> 00:01:16,281
Shrieks: Bastards!
22
00:01:17,561 --> 00:01:19,641
All of you!
23
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,121
Adam: It's a bad world, but we can fix it.
24
00:01:36,121 --> 00:01:38,641
And it doesn't matter that you three
aren't my friends any more.
25
00:01:38,761 --> 00:01:40,921
I've got better friends
than you'll everbe.
26
00:01:43,721 --> 00:01:45,321
My new friends
will be together soon.
27
00:01:45,441 --> 00:01:49,321
They're coming here, and then
we make everything better.
28
00:03:19,681 --> 00:03:24,201
Voice of god: Crowley had lostaziraphale,
and the world was ending in a few hours.
29
00:03:24,321 --> 00:03:26,561
He was in hell's bad books...
30
00:03:26,681 --> 00:03:28,401
Not that hell has any other kind.
31
00:03:28,521 --> 00:03:29,841
♪ Queen: Somebody to love
32
00:03:29,961 --> 00:03:32,961
♪ find me somebody
33
00:03:33,081 --> 00:03:36,161
♪ to love... ♪
34
00:03:36,281 --> 00:03:39,841
♪ Find me somebody
35
00:03:39,961 --> 00:03:43,441
- ♪ to love
- ♪ find me somebody... ♪
36
00:03:43,561 --> 00:03:45,921
I shouldn't litter, should I?
37
00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:48,601
I mean, I probably should litter.
I'm a demon, after all.
38
00:03:48,721 --> 00:03:51,281
But nobody's really
keeping score any more.
39
00:03:51,401 --> 00:03:54,681
♪ Somebody to... ♪
40
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:57,721
- ♪ Love, find me
- ♪ somebody to love
41
00:03:57,841 --> 00:04:00,681
♪ somebody to... ♪
42
00:04:00,801 --> 00:04:06,281
♪ ...Love, find me somebody
43
00:04:06,401 --> 00:04:09,161
♪ find me somebody to love
44
00:04:09,281 --> 00:04:10,841
- ♪anybody, anywhere - ♪ find me
45
00:04:10,961 --> 00:04:14,321
- ♪ anybody find me somebody to love
- ♪ somebody to
46
00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:19,081
♪ find me, find, find... ♪
47
00:04:38,921 --> 00:04:40,281
Mr shadwell?
48
00:04:41,441 --> 00:04:43,121
Oh, what on earth happened?
49
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,961
What would you say if I told you
50
00:04:45,081 --> 00:04:47,361
that this hand had just exorcised a demon
51
00:04:47,481 --> 00:04:49,721
clean off the surface of the earth?
52
00:04:50,881 --> 00:04:56,121
I'd say somebody needs to come inside
and have a nice cup of tea.
53
00:04:56,241 --> 00:04:58,401
But young newt, he's still out there.
54
00:04:58,521 --> 00:04:59,521
Aww.
55
00:04:59,561 --> 00:05:02,121
In thrall to heathen ways
56
00:05:02,241 --> 00:05:04,961
and lubricious occult wiles.
57
00:05:05,081 --> 00:05:06,881
There could be women there!
58
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:09,841
Oh, well...
59
00:05:09,881 --> 00:05:13,041
Now, you can't be in here,
because mrs ormerod
60
00:05:13,161 --> 00:05:15,121
and such will be arriving any minute.
61
00:05:15,241 --> 00:05:19,121
Why don't you come in here
and have a nice lie-down?
62
00:05:19,241 --> 00:05:22,921
You're no use to young newt
63
00:05:23,041 --> 00:05:24,241
in this state.
64
00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:28,641
A bit of a lie-down.
65
00:05:45,441 --> 00:05:47,081
Nobody's ever done what I've done.
66
00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,281
Not Hopkins, not siftings...
67
00:05:50,401 --> 00:05:52,241
Not dalrymple.
68
00:05:53,761 --> 00:05:55,081
I'm the ultimate weapon.
69
00:05:56,561 --> 00:05:58,681
I'm the doomsday option.
70
00:06:10,361 --> 00:06:13,121
What kind of a place is this?
71
00:06:23,481 --> 00:06:26,081
- You! You're late.
- Yes!
72
00:06:30,921 --> 00:06:32,601
Actually, I... ooh.
73
00:06:32,721 --> 00:06:34,881
I-I didn't mean...
74
00:06:35,001 --> 00:06:37,761
To be here, um, yet.
75
00:06:37,881 --> 00:06:41,281
Still... sorting things out...
76
00:06:42,641 --> 00:06:44,641
- On earth.
- Aziraphale, isn't it?
77
00:06:44,761 --> 00:06:47,161
Principality, angel of the eastern gate.
78
00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,401
Your whole platoon is waiting for you.
79
00:06:49,521 --> 00:06:51,281
Aziraphale...
80
00:06:51,401 --> 00:06:54,481
Aziraphale... why's that name so familiar?
81
00:06:56,321 --> 00:06:57,521
Hang on.
82
00:06:57,641 --> 00:07:01,081
- Aziraphale. You were issued with...
- A flaming sword, I know.
83
00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:02,441
It's not my fault.
84
00:07:02,561 --> 00:07:05,121
She was having a verybad day.
85
00:07:05,241 --> 00:07:07,641
You were issued with a body!
Where is it?
86
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:16,841
I-i-I'm afraid I hadn't actually prepared
87
00:07:16,961 --> 00:07:19,201
to step into the transportation portal,
you see.
88
00:07:19,321 --> 00:07:22,721
And the body... discorporated.
89
00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:24,281
Discorporated?
90
00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:26,201
It was 6,000 years old.
91
00:07:27,721 --> 00:07:31,001
I count them all out,
and I count them all in again.
92
00:07:32,041 --> 00:07:35,121
And then you turn up,
late for armageddon,
93
00:07:35,241 --> 00:07:36,641
no flaming sword,
94
00:07:36,761 --> 00:07:40,361
not even a body, you pathetic excuse
for an angel!
95
00:07:41,881 --> 00:07:43,721
Well, I suppose I am, really.
96
00:07:44,761 --> 00:07:45,961
I mean...
97
00:07:46,081 --> 00:07:49,721
I have no intention of fighting
in any war.
98
00:07:49,841 --> 00:07:52,281
Don't be a coward!
99
00:07:53,521 --> 00:07:55,521
You get into position right now,
100
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,881
and I won't say anything more
about the body you discorporated.
101
00:07:59,001 --> 00:08:01,841
We can take the sword
out of your celestial wages.
102
00:08:01,961 --> 00:08:03,881
I was in the middle
of something important.
103
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:06,161
I demand to be returned.
104
00:08:06,281 --> 00:08:08,881
Without a body? That's ridiculous.
105
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,921
- It is?
- Obviously.
106
00:08:14,041 --> 00:08:15,817
What are you going to do?
You can't possess them.
107
00:08:15,841 --> 00:08:17,401
Demons can.
108
00:08:17,521 --> 00:08:20,481
You're not a demon. You're an angel.
109
00:08:23,401 --> 00:08:26,241
What are you...? Where are you going?
110
00:08:29,401 --> 00:08:31,361
How does one navigate?
111
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,241
- Oh, well.
- Quartermaster: Get away from that thing!
112
00:08:36,361 --> 00:08:37,761
I'll figure it out...
113
00:08:39,241 --> 00:08:40,361
As I go.
114
00:08:47,641 --> 00:08:49,041
What are you lot looking at?!
115
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:52,161
Don't you know there's a war on?!
116
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:55,241
My friends are on their way,
and then there'll be a world just for us.
117
00:08:55,361 --> 00:08:58,001
We'll get rid of everything stupid
and start all over again.
118
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,521
Won't that be awesome?
119
00:08:59,641 --> 00:09:02,441
Say something.
120
00:09:02,561 --> 00:09:04,041
You have to say something.
121
00:09:04,161 --> 00:09:06,561
I'm telling you to say something!
122
00:09:06,681 --> 00:09:09,361
Stop it. Stop crying. This is fun.
123
00:09:09,481 --> 00:09:12,201
We're having fun.
This is the best day of all.
124
00:09:13,881 --> 00:09:15,121
You have to smile!
125
00:09:15,241 --> 00:09:16,721
I can make it happen.
126
00:09:16,841 --> 00:09:19,681
Echoing: Smile! Smile!
127
00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:30,401
That was...
128
00:09:31,761 --> 00:09:33,201
I mean...
129
00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:34,801
That was...
130
00:09:34,921 --> 00:09:37,121
You know I've never actually, er...
131
00:09:38,641 --> 00:09:40,201
That was my first time.
132
00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:43,241
I'd never have known.
133
00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:47,841
Well... seeing as the world's ending,
134
00:09:47,961 --> 00:09:50,721
- can we do it again?
- We don't have time.
135
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,521
And Agnes only said we did it once.
136
00:09:53,641 --> 00:09:56,241
She never. She bloody...
137
00:09:56,361 --> 00:09:58,201
She can't have predicted that
138
00:10:04,161 --> 00:10:06,441
"You go, boy.
May fortune be with you."
139
00:10:07,721 --> 00:10:09,961
"Anathema, my descendant,
140
00:10:10,081 --> 00:10:12,201
"I trust he will be fine of feature
and mighty of..."
141
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,241
Oh, my dear lord.
142
00:10:14,361 --> 00:10:15,441
Get dressed.
143
00:10:18,721 --> 00:10:21,041
So, we find this Adam and then we...
144
00:10:22,841 --> 00:10:24,441
- Stop him?
- Mmm...
145
00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:26,161
I'm not sure any more.
146
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:30,241
Agnes doesn't tell us to.
147
00:10:31,601 --> 00:10:34,161
Because if there's a card
with instructions, I don't know
148
00:10:34,281 --> 00:10:35,761
- which one it is.
- What do you mean,
149
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,281
"Agnes doesn't tell us to"?
150
00:10:37,401 --> 00:10:39,241
Don't you everjust...
Do things for yourself?
151
00:10:39,361 --> 00:10:40,761
See how they turn out?
152
00:10:41,921 --> 00:10:43,761
No, not important things.
153
00:10:43,881 --> 00:10:47,161
And we have maybe an hour or so to go
until there's nothing anybody can do.
154
00:10:47,281 --> 00:10:48,961
I'm not going to waste a second of it,
155
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:51,441
- so come on.
- You can't let a 400-year-old witch
156
00:10:51,561 --> 00:10:53,121
tell you what to do.
157
00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:56,761
I've spent my whole life
trying to figure out
158
00:10:56,881 --> 00:10:58,641
what Agnes wanted me to do.
159
00:10:58,761 --> 00:11:00,161
And she's never failed me.
160
00:11:00,281 --> 00:11:02,481
Sometimes I fail her.
161
00:11:03,681 --> 00:11:05,201
Same again.
162
00:11:14,601 --> 00:11:16,241
Slurring: I never asked to be a demon.
163
00:11:18,161 --> 00:11:20,921
I was just minding my own business one day
and then...
164
00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:24,641
"Oh, looky here,
it's Lucifer and the guys."
165
00:11:24,761 --> 00:11:28,241
Ok, the food hadn't been that good lately.
166
00:11:28,361 --> 00:11:30,377
I didn't have anything on
for rest of that afternoon.
167
00:11:30,401 --> 00:11:35,481
Next thing, I'm doing
a million-light-year freestyle dive
168
00:11:35,601 --> 00:11:38,281
into a pool of boiling sulphur.
169
00:11:42,361 --> 00:11:44,921
Aziraphale?
170
00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:47,481
- Are you here?
- Good question. Not certain.
171
00:11:47,601 --> 00:11:49,121
Never done this before.
172
00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:53,081
- Can you hear me?
- Of course I can hear you.
173
00:11:53,201 --> 00:11:54,921
Afraid I've rather made a mess of things.
174
00:11:56,201 --> 00:11:57,641
Did you go to Alpha centauri?
175
00:11:57,761 --> 00:11:59,561
Nah, changed my mind.
176
00:11:59,681 --> 00:12:01,001
Stuff happened.
177
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:03,841
I lost my best friend.
178
00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:08,321
I'm so sorry to hear it.
179
00:12:08,441 --> 00:12:11,681
Listen, er, back in my bookshop
there's a book I need you to get.
180
00:12:11,801 --> 00:12:16,201
Oh... your bookshop isn't there any more.
181
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:18,321
- Oh?
- I'm really sorry.
182
00:12:18,441 --> 00:12:19,521
It burned down.
183
00:12:23,561 --> 00:12:25,121
All of it?
184
00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:29,241
Stammers: Yeah.
What... what was the book?
185
00:12:29,361 --> 00:12:32,801
The one the young lady
with the bicycle left behind.
186
00:12:32,921 --> 00:12:35,761
- The nice and accurate prophecies of ..
- Agnes nutter!
187
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,441
- Yes, I took it!
- You have it?
188
00:12:37,561 --> 00:12:40,201
- Look, souvenir!
- Look inside. I made notes.
189
00:12:40,321 --> 00:12:44,601
It's all in there - the boy's name,
address. Everything else.
190
00:12:44,721 --> 00:12:47,081
- I worked it all out.
- Look, wherever you are,
191
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,257
I'll come to you. Where are you?
192
00:12:48,281 --> 00:12:51,681
I-i-I'm not really anywhere, yet.
I've been discorporated.
193
00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:55,241
- Oh.
- You need to get to tadfield air base.
194
00:12:55,361 --> 00:12:56,601
Crowley: Why?
195
00:12:56,721 --> 00:12:59,441
World ending.
That's where it's all going to happen.
196
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:00,681
Quite soon now.
197
00:13:00,801 --> 00:13:02,921
I'll head there, too.
198
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,961
I just need to find a receptive body.
199
00:13:05,081 --> 00:13:07,481
- Harder than you'd think.
- I'm not going to go there.
200
00:13:07,601 --> 00:13:08,921
I do need a body.
201
00:13:09,041 --> 00:13:11,041
Pity I can't inhabit yours.
202
00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:12,921
- Mmm...
- Angel, demon...
203
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:14,401
- Probably explode.
- Bleh!
204
00:13:14,521 --> 00:13:15,721
So, I'll meet you at tadfield,
205
00:13:15,841 --> 00:13:17,657
but we're both going to have
to get a bit of a wiggle on.
206
00:13:17,681 --> 00:13:20,441
- What?
- Tadfield. Air base!
207
00:13:20,561 --> 00:13:22,361
I heard that. It was the "wiggle on".
208
00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:31,321
Enter all seekers after wisdom
209
00:13:31,441 --> 00:13:35,161
only if you are prepared
to part the veil
210
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,841
and receive wisdom
from those who have gone before.
211
00:13:37,961 --> 00:13:42,681
We are here to receive your wisdom,
madame Tracy.
212
00:13:42,801 --> 00:13:44,481
Oh!
213
00:13:44,601 --> 00:13:45,921
Very good weather for a séance.
214
00:13:46,041 --> 00:13:49,921
Did you have them do it special,
the weather, with your psychicness?
215
00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:51,361
No, clear.
216
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,361
They're waiting for us.
217
00:13:57,481 --> 00:13:59,041
Our Ron and the spirits,
218
00:13:59,161 --> 00:14:01,681
- they're waiting.
- And we are looking forward
219
00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:03,521
to hearing what they are going to
220
00:14:03,641 --> 00:14:06,681
say to us... after we've made
our donations.
221
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:12,721
Voice of god: Aziraphale
had to find a host to inhabit
222
00:14:12,841 --> 00:14:16,441
and the four horsemen needed to
come together for their final ride.
223
00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:23,281
Purpose of your visit to the UK?
224
00:14:23,401 --> 00:14:25,361
I ride to where
the end of the world begins.
225
00:14:25,481 --> 00:14:27,601
Sounds like fun.
226
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:40,401
Four cups of tea, please.
One of them black.
227
00:14:40,521 --> 00:14:43,201
And a cheese sandwich.
228
00:14:43,321 --> 00:14:45,241
You take a seat
and I'll bring it over for you.
229
00:14:45,361 --> 00:14:46,721
Four of you, are there?
230
00:14:46,841 --> 00:14:48,201
There will be.
231
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,801
I'm waiting for friends.
232
00:14:49,921 --> 00:14:52,057
You're better off waiting in here.
It's hell out there.
233
00:14:52,081 --> 00:14:54,641
No.
234
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,601
Not yet.
235
00:15:09,481 --> 00:15:11,161
War.
236
00:15:11,281 --> 00:15:14,281
- It's been a long time.
- Famine.
237
00:15:14,401 --> 00:15:17,841
Feels funny, all of us getting together
like this.
238
00:15:17,961 --> 00:15:19,681
Funny?
239
00:15:19,801 --> 00:15:23,561
Mmm. We've spent all these thousands
of years waiting for the big day,
240
00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:24,841
and finally it comes.
241
00:15:26,081 --> 00:15:27,457
Famine: We'll have a thunderstorm
to ride in.
242
00:15:27,481 --> 00:15:29,441
Any idea how far we've got to ride?
243
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:30,641
100 miles.
244
00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:33,481
I would have thought it'd be farther,
somehow.
245
00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:36,281
It's not the travelling -
it's the arriving that matters.
246
00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:38,041
Any sign of him yet?
247
00:15:56,641 --> 00:15:58,321
When did you get here?
248
00:16:00,241 --> 00:16:02,241
I never went away.
249
00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:06,321
Your tea is getting cold, lord.
250
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:07,841
It's been a long time.
251
00:16:07,961 --> 00:16:09,841
- But now we ride.
- Yes.
252
00:16:09,961 --> 00:16:11,441
Now we ride.
253
00:16:15,801 --> 00:16:17,001
- Ooh.
254
00:16:18,601 --> 00:16:21,001
Mrs ormerod: She's going under.
Nothing to be alarmed about.
255
00:16:21,121 --> 00:16:24,721
She's just making herself a bridge
to the other side.
256
00:16:24,841 --> 00:16:26,281
Her spirit guide will be along soon.
257
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:29,281
Are you there, my spirit guide?
258
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,361
With Irish accent:
Ah, begorrah...
259
00:16:33,481 --> 00:16:34,881
'Tis me.
260
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,081
Little Colleen O'Leary.
261
00:16:38,201 --> 00:16:41,801
Colleen died in Dublin in 1746...
262
00:16:41,921 --> 00:16:44,281
When she was nine years old.
263
00:16:44,401 --> 00:16:45,761
But she was very psychic.
264
00:16:45,881 --> 00:16:47,721
Colleen! Hello, dear.
265
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:51,481
Is my Ron with you?
I've got so much to tell him.
266
00:16:51,601 --> 00:16:54,161
As Tracy:
Ah, Colleen wants to know
267
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:58,361
if there's anyone named mr scroggie here?
268
00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:01,721
- Actually, that's my name.
- Madame Tracy: Yes.
269
00:17:01,841 --> 00:17:06,521
Well, Colleen wants to know
if you've ever known anyone named...
270
00:17:07,841 --> 00:17:08,841
"John.
271
00:17:12,321 --> 00:17:13,481
Or it could be Jim.
272
00:17:13,601 --> 00:17:14,881
- Tom?
273
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:16,521
- Steve?
274
00:17:16,641 --> 00:17:18,921
- N... no.
- Dave?
275
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:20,841
I knew a Dave from hemel hempstead.
276
00:17:20,961 --> 00:17:22,761
Yes! So, you see,
that's what he's saying.
277
00:17:22,881 --> 00:17:24,337
He's saying hemel hempstead.
He wants you to know
278
00:17:24,361 --> 00:17:27,241
that he's doing very well
beyond the veil.
279
00:17:27,361 --> 00:17:30,641
I saw him walking his dog the other day
and he looked perfectly healthy.
280
00:17:30,761 --> 00:17:33,841
People go very suddenly.
Like my mum.
281
00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:35,521
Your mum can bloody well
282
00:17:35,641 --> 00:17:38,121
wait her turn, Julia petley.
283
00:17:38,241 --> 00:17:40,561
I've been coming here for seven years.
I do have seniority.
284
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,881
Now, you tell my Ron...
285
00:17:43,001 --> 00:17:45,001
Ooh!
286
00:17:46,361 --> 00:17:48,761
- Is it our Ron?
- No, it's something real!
287
00:18:03,561 --> 00:18:05,481
Aziraphale's voice:
Sprechen sie deutsch?
288
00:18:06,681 --> 00:18:08,041
Is that you, Ron?
289
00:18:08,161 --> 00:18:09,841
Ron?
290
00:18:09,961 --> 00:18:12,801
Not Ron. Definitely not.
291
00:18:12,921 --> 00:18:15,121
Well, I want to speak to Ron ormerod.
292
00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:17,481
He's rather short, balding on top.
293
00:18:17,601 --> 00:18:19,601
Can you put me through, please?
294
00:18:19,721 --> 00:18:23,281
Mix of aziraphale and Tracy's voices:
Ah, well, there does appear to be a spirit
295
00:18:23,401 --> 00:18:26,281
matching that description
trying to attract our attention.
296
00:18:26,401 --> 00:18:30,241
Very well. I will hand you over,
but you must be very quick.
297
00:18:30,361 --> 00:18:33,281
I am attempting
to avert the apocalypse!
298
00:18:33,401 --> 00:18:35,121
Right.
299
00:18:36,121 --> 00:18:38,401
Man's voice: ♪ moonlight becomes you... ♪
300
00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:47,721
Ron's voice: Hello, Brenda.
301
00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:50,281
Ron?
302
00:18:52,081 --> 00:18:53,401
What...
303
00:18:53,521 --> 00:18:55,201
You sound like...
304
00:18:55,321 --> 00:18:56,561
You.
305
00:18:56,681 --> 00:18:58,801
I am me, Brenda.
306
00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:02,281
It's c-c-c-c-cold here.
307
00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:05,841
Right, so, I went to our Krystal's wedding
last weekend -
308
00:19:05,961 --> 00:19:07,681
that's our Tracy's eldest -
309
00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:09,841
and they start serving Korean food!
310
00:19:09,961 --> 00:19:11,201
Well, I can take a joke
311
00:19:11,321 --> 00:19:13,681
- as well as the next woman.
- Brenda!
312
00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:14,937
I'm just getting to the good bit.
313
00:19:14,961 --> 00:19:17,721
So, I hold up the kimchi
314
00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:20,361
and I say, "what you expect me
to do with this, then?"
315
00:19:20,481 --> 00:19:22,857
Whereupon, without even the grace
316
00:19:22,881 --> 00:19:25,841
- to look ashamed...
- Yells: Brenda!
317
00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:27,201
Yes, Ron?
318
00:19:27,321 --> 00:19:31,401
Y-Y-You never g-gave me a chance
319
00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:34,881
to get a word in edgeways
when we were married.
320
00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:36,601
And now I'm dead...
321
00:19:36,721 --> 00:19:41,441
Oh! ...There's only one thing
I want to tell you.
322
00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:43,441
You've never spoken to me
like this before.
323
00:19:43,561 --> 00:19:46,041
Ron, remember your heart condition!
324
00:19:46,161 --> 00:19:48,921
I don't have a heart any more!
325
00:19:51,681 --> 00:19:53,881
- And, Brenda?
- Yes, Ron?
326
00:19:55,641 --> 00:20:00,761
Shut up!
327
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,961
Aziraphale's voice:
Wasn't that touching?
328
00:20:26,161 --> 00:20:28,161
Right, well, er, lovely to meet you all.
329
00:20:29,481 --> 00:20:31,441
Tracy's voice: Out.
330
00:20:31,561 --> 00:20:33,041
Show's over.
331
00:20:33,161 --> 00:20:36,001
Aziraphale's voice:
World to save. Can't lollygag.
332
00:20:36,121 --> 00:20:38,041
Well, that's very good value.
Very entertaining.
333
00:20:38,161 --> 00:20:39,561
Tracy's voice: Glad you enjoyed it.
334
00:21:06,841 --> 00:21:08,297
Voice of god: Crowley is currently stuck
335
00:21:08,321 --> 00:21:11,761
in a traffic jam as he tries to get out
of London to find Adam.
336
00:21:11,881 --> 00:21:15,241
Radio: And it's official. This is the
biggest traffic jam in england's history.
337
00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:16,881
Why?!
338
00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:20,681
Satan: What you did to the m25
was a stroke of demonic genius, darling.
339
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:23,401
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no...
340
00:21:23,521 --> 00:21:27,241
Voice of god: The traffic jam is being
caused by problems on the m25,
341
00:21:27,361 --> 00:21:29,281
the freeway that circles London.
342
00:21:29,401 --> 00:21:32,601
Crowley had a lot to do
with the design of the m25
343
00:21:32,721 --> 00:21:33,921
back in the 79705.
344
00:21:34,041 --> 00:21:38,441
Crowley: So, thanks
to three computer hacks,
345
00:21:38,561 --> 00:21:39,921
selected bribery,
346
00:21:40,041 --> 00:21:42,681
and me moving some markers
across a field one night,
347
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,441
the m25 London orbital motorway,
348
00:21:45,561 --> 00:21:47,681
which was supposed
to look like this...
349
00:21:47,801 --> 00:21:51,521
Will, when it opens in 1986,
350
00:21:51,641 --> 00:21:54,401
actually look like this,
351
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:56,961
and represent the dread sigil odegra
352
00:21:57,081 --> 00:21:59,761
in the language of the dark
priesthood of ancient mu.
353
00:21:59,881 --> 00:22:03,401
"Odegra" means, "hail the great beast,
devourer of worlds."
354
00:22:03,521 --> 00:22:05,801
Can I hear a "wahoo"?
355
00:22:09,921 --> 00:22:12,561
Once it's built,
the millions of motorists
356
00:22:12,681 --> 00:22:14,521
who grumble their way around it
357
00:22:14,641 --> 00:22:16,961
are going to be like
water on a prayer wheel,
358
00:22:17,081 --> 00:22:21,401
grinding out an endless fog
of low-grade evil
359
00:22:21,521 --> 00:22:24,241
that will encircle the whole of London.
360
00:22:24,361 --> 00:22:26,241
Yes, Duke hastur?
361
00:22:26,361 --> 00:22:28,201
What's a computer?
362
00:22:28,321 --> 00:22:29,801
♪ Another one bites the dust... ♪
363
00:22:53,001 --> 00:22:56,641
Madame Tracy: So what exactly
do you propose we do about this?
364
00:22:56,761 --> 00:22:58,521
Aziraphale:
Given the circumstances,
365
00:22:58,641 --> 00:23:02,161
we're both going to have to be
extremelyflexible.
366
00:23:02,281 --> 00:23:04,601
Get your hands off her, you...!
367
00:23:05,721 --> 00:23:06,921
Where is he?
368
00:23:07,041 --> 00:23:09,361
- Who?
- Some southern pansy.
369
00:23:09,481 --> 00:23:11,561
I heard him, making lewd suggestions!
370
00:23:11,681 --> 00:23:15,921
Aziraphale's voice:
Not just a southern pansy, sergeant.
371
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:18,521
The southern pansy.
372
00:23:18,641 --> 00:23:20,561
Demon!
373
00:23:21,721 --> 00:23:23,121
You know what this is?
374
00:23:23,241 --> 00:23:24,961
Four fingers, one thumb.
375
00:23:25,081 --> 00:23:28,321
Now, you get out
of this good woman's head
376
00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:30,961
before I blast you
to kingdom come.
377
00:23:31,081 --> 00:23:34,201
Tracy's voice: That's the trouble,
mr shadwell. Kingdom come.
378
00:23:34,321 --> 00:23:36,121
It's going to.
379
00:23:36,241 --> 00:23:38,801
Mr aziraphale has just been explaining it.
380
00:23:40,081 --> 00:23:42,561
You come and have a nice cup of tea,
381
00:23:42,681 --> 00:23:44,881
and listen to him.
382
00:23:46,321 --> 00:23:48,721
Voice of god:
As Adam came into his power,
383
00:23:48,841 --> 00:23:51,881
the world welcomed him in ways
not even crowley had expected.
384
00:23:54,841 --> 00:23:56,361
Ican't hold it in.
385
00:23:56,481 --> 00:23:59,281
Well, what if the traffic
starts moving again?
386
00:23:59,401 --> 00:24:02,601
It's the m25. You can't just get out and
have a widdle in the middle of the road.
387
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:04,361
I can! And I will.
388
00:24:05,601 --> 00:24:07,561
Hail the great beast.
389
00:24:07,681 --> 00:24:09,121
What'd you say, Horace?
390
00:24:10,641 --> 00:24:13,641
Hail the great beast,
devourer of worlds.
391
00:24:13,761 --> 00:24:17,481
Both: Hail the great beast,
devourer of worlds.
392
00:24:19,121 --> 00:24:23,121
All: Hail the great beast,
devourer of worlds.
393
00:24:23,241 --> 00:24:27,321
Hail the great beast,
devourer of worlds...
394
00:24:27,441 --> 00:24:30,441
Voice of god: The m25 had become,
unexpectedly,
395
00:24:30,561 --> 00:24:34,041
a burning magical ring of fire
that surrounded London.
396
00:24:34,161 --> 00:24:35,841
Nobody was getting in or out.
397
00:24:35,961 --> 00:24:40,361
Crowley had made it -
now crowley was trapped inside it.
398
00:24:43,801 --> 00:24:47,641
Right. The m25 is now an impassable
burning ring of infernal fire,
399
00:24:47,761 --> 00:24:49,281
and that's myfault.
400
00:24:49,401 --> 00:24:52,241
Come on, tadfield, tadfield, tadfield...
401
00:24:57,321 --> 00:25:01,841
N ewsreader: Motorists are being advised to
avoid the m25 London orbital motorway
402
00:25:01,961 --> 00:25:05,121
because, in the words of
a transportation department spokesman,
403
00:25:05,241 --> 00:25:06,841
"it's on fire or something."
404
00:25:06,961 --> 00:25:09,361
What does that even mean?
405
00:25:12,161 --> 00:25:14,681
Aziraphale on answerphone:
[ Know where the antichrist is...
406
00:25:14,801 --> 00:25:17,601
.I' know where the antichrist is...
.I' know where the antichrist is...
407
00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:22,521
- Mr Biggs?
- Yeah?
408
00:25:22,641 --> 00:25:24,321
I'm calling about a car accident
409
00:25:24,441 --> 00:25:27,041
that was not your fault
that you were involved in.
410
00:25:29,641 --> 00:25:30,641
Buggen
411
00:25:34,961 --> 00:25:36,401
- Hello.
- Mrs blore?
412
00:25:36,521 --> 00:25:38,681
- What is it?
- I'm calling about a car accident
413
00:25:38,801 --> 00:25:40,201
that you were recently involved in.
414
00:25:40,321 --> 00:25:42,881
You are eligible for compensation.
415
00:25:44,681 --> 00:25:46,761
Oh, for heaven's sake.
416
00:25:59,201 --> 00:26:00,841
Hastur: Yes?
417
00:26:00,961 --> 00:26:03,401
Hello, mr cowwley.
418
00:26:03,521 --> 00:26:05,721
We're calling about an accident you had.
419
00:26:05,841 --> 00:26:08,041
Hastu r: [T er, wasn't an accident Lisa.
420
00:26:08,161 --> 00:26:12,281
- And this isn't crowley.
- Um... h-how do you know my name?
421
00:26:12,401 --> 00:26:14,361
Hastu r: .I' know lots of things, Lisa.
422
00:26:14,481 --> 00:26:17,601
.I' should be grateful to you
for setting me free, shouldn't .i'?
423
00:26:17,721 --> 00:26:20,961
.I' mean, .i' should thank you personally
and meet your friends.
424
00:26:21,081 --> 00:26:23,961
Er... I'm hanging up the phone now.
425
00:26:24,081 --> 00:26:26,081
Too late.
426
00:26:44,921 --> 00:26:46,481
I needed that.
427
00:26:48,121 --> 00:26:49,401
Right.
428
00:26:50,561 --> 00:26:52,241
So, there really is an antichrist?
429
00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:54,417
Aziraphale's voice:
The antichrist is alive and on the earth
430
00:26:54,441 --> 00:26:55,601
at this moment, sergeant.
431
00:26:55,721 --> 00:26:58,001
He is bringing about armageddon.
432
00:26:58,121 --> 00:27:00,001
I'm sure you can see
433
00:27:00,121 --> 00:27:02,241
that the imminent destruction
of the world
434
00:27:02,361 --> 00:27:04,721
is not something that
any reasonable person would permit.
435
00:27:04,841 --> 00:27:06,321
- No.
- Am I correct?
436
00:27:06,441 --> 00:27:08,001
- Aye.
- The antichrist...
437
00:27:08,121 --> 00:27:10,001
Must be killed, sergeant shadwell.
438
00:27:10,121 --> 00:27:12,601
And you...
439
00:27:12,721 --> 00:27:14,761
Are the man to do it.
440
00:27:17,081 --> 00:27:18,681
Well, I don't know about that.
441
00:27:18,801 --> 00:27:20,561
Er, the witchfinder army,
442
00:27:20,681 --> 00:27:23,161
- we just kill witches.
- I'm sure you've killed lots of those.
443
00:27:23,201 --> 00:27:25,641
Well, early days.
444
00:27:25,761 --> 00:27:29,241
This antichrist of yours,
how many nipples does he have?
445
00:27:31,281 --> 00:27:33,121
Er... oodles of them!
446
00:27:33,241 --> 00:27:35,881
Pots of nipples.
447
00:27:36,001 --> 00:27:37,681
Nipples everywhere.
448
00:27:37,801 --> 00:27:40,161
Then I'm your man.
449
00:27:40,281 --> 00:27:43,441
Now, sergeant,
what weapons do you have?
450
00:27:43,561 --> 00:27:45,441
- Yes.
451
00:27:45,561 --> 00:27:46,961
Anything more substantial?
452
00:27:47,081 --> 00:27:49,201
Er, I've got pins...
453
00:27:49,321 --> 00:27:51,361
And the thundergun
454
00:27:51,481 --> 00:27:54,441
of witchfinder colonel dalrymple.
It'll fire anything.
455
00:27:54,561 --> 00:27:57,161
- Silver bullets.
- That's werewolves.
456
00:27:57,281 --> 00:27:58,641
- Er, garlic?
- Vampires.
457
00:27:58,761 --> 00:28:00,041
Mmm. Bricks?
458
00:28:00,161 --> 00:28:02,801
That should do nicely. Ha!
459
00:28:36,721 --> 00:28:38,921
Come on.
There must be a way across it.
460
00:28:39,041 --> 00:28:41,481
Burning roads. You predict this, Agnes?
461
00:28:44,321 --> 00:28:45,721
Why isn't there an index?
462
00:28:53,961 --> 00:28:56,521
You'll never escape London.
463
00:28:56,641 --> 00:28:57,881
Nothing can.
464
00:28:58,001 --> 00:29:00,321
Hastur! How was your time in voicemail?
465
00:29:00,441 --> 00:29:04,001
Funny, ha-ha. Joke all you like, crowley -
there's nowhere to run.
466
00:29:04,121 --> 00:29:05,297
Aren't you meant to be lining up
467
00:29:05,321 --> 00:29:07,561
- ready for battle around now?
- Hell will not forget.
468
00:29:07,681 --> 00:29:09,321
Hell will not forgive.
469
00:29:09,441 --> 00:29:12,121
You know where the real antichrist is,
don't you?
470
00:29:12,241 --> 00:29:14,521
You'll never reach him.
471
00:29:14,641 --> 00:29:16,081
You're done, crowley.
472
00:29:16,201 --> 00:29:18,121
Think you're going to get across that?
473
00:29:18,241 --> 00:29:20,401
There's nowhere to go.
474
00:29:20,521 --> 00:29:21,521
Hah.
475
00:29:21,561 --> 00:29:22,881
Let's find out.
476
00:29:25,721 --> 00:29:27,961
What...? What...? Why are you driving?
477
00:29:28,081 --> 00:29:30,481
That's...! What's...? Stop this thing!
478
00:29:30,601 --> 00:29:32,801
You know the thing
I like best about time?
479
00:29:32,921 --> 00:29:37,161
Is that every day it takes us further away
from the 14th century.
480
00:29:37,281 --> 00:29:40,801
I really didn't like the 14th century.
You'd have loved it then.
481
00:29:40,921 --> 00:29:42,321
Yeah.
482
00:29:42,441 --> 00:29:44,961
They didn't have any cars
back in the 14th century.
483
00:29:45,081 --> 00:29:48,361
Lovely, clever human people
inventing cars,
484
00:29:48,481 --> 00:29:52,681
and motorways,
and... windscreen wipers.
485
00:29:52,801 --> 00:29:54,457
- You got to hand it to them, haven't you?
- Yeah. Aah!
486
00:29:54,481 --> 00:29:57,801
Stop this! It's over! You're doomed!
487
00:29:57,921 --> 00:30:00,121
You hear me, crowley?
488
00:30:00,241 --> 00:30:02,881
You're doomed!
Whatever happens, doomed!
489
00:30:03,001 --> 00:30:05,001
See? This day's already got better.
490
00:30:07,561 --> 00:30:10,801
♪ When I'm holding your wheel... ♪
491
00:30:10,921 --> 00:30:13,281
Stop this!
You'll discorporate us both!
492
00:30:15,601 --> 00:30:18,121
- This is not funny!
- Come on!
493
00:30:18,241 --> 00:30:21,121
If you've got to go, then go with style!
494
00:30:23,401 --> 00:30:25,321
I hate you!
495
00:30:29,481 --> 00:30:31,481
You are my car.
496
00:30:31,601 --> 00:30:33,361
I've had you from new.
497
00:30:33,481 --> 00:30:36,401
You are not going to burn!
498
00:30:36,521 --> 00:30:38,321
Don't even think of it.
499
00:30:46,481 --> 00:30:49,761
Voice of god: Crowley has something
no other demons have,
500
00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:52,161
especially not hastur -
an imagination.
501
00:30:52,281 --> 00:30:55,041
Right now, he is imagining
that he is just fine,
502
00:30:55,161 --> 00:30:57,561
and that a tonne of burning metal,
rubber and leather
503
00:30:57,681 --> 00:30:59,441
is a fully functioning car.
504
00:30:59,561 --> 00:31:01,561
He had started the journey
in his Bentley,
505
00:31:01,681 --> 00:31:05,161
and he was damned if he wasn't going to
finish it in the Bentley, as well.
506
00:31:19,441 --> 00:31:20,681
The boffins are on their way.
507
00:31:20,801 --> 00:31:23,201
In the meantime,
nothing is getting out of London.
508
00:31:23,321 --> 00:31:24,881
You sure about that?
509
00:31:32,881 --> 00:31:34,321
What was...?
510
00:31:34,441 --> 00:31:36,081
Right now, that's someone else's problem.
511
00:31:37,321 --> 00:31:38,601
He was waving.
512
00:31:40,561 --> 00:31:44,641
♪ The machine of a dream... ♪
513
00:31:49,361 --> 00:31:52,081
Listen, I'm sorry I made you all shut up,
but I'm going to
514
00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:54,801
make it so you can talk again,
and we'll all play a game.
515
00:31:54,921 --> 00:31:56,561
We're all going to meet my new friends.
516
00:31:56,681 --> 00:31:58,961
You'll like them so much!
517
00:32:05,241 --> 00:32:07,081
Adam, echoing: Come to me!
518
00:32:10,761 --> 00:32:13,321
Come to me!
519
00:32:16,641 --> 00:32:18,681
Come on. We can still be friends.
520
00:32:18,801 --> 00:32:21,441
After all the people have gone,
you can rule the world that's left.
521
00:32:22,281 --> 00:32:24,961
Wensley, you can have... america.
522
00:32:25,081 --> 00:32:28,481
And pepper, you get Asia and Russia.
523
00:32:28,601 --> 00:32:30,681
And Brian, you can have Europe and Africa.
524
00:32:30,801 --> 00:32:33,201
And dog, you can have Australia.
525
00:32:33,321 --> 00:32:34,641
So we'd rule the world.
526
00:32:34,761 --> 00:32:36,961
But what about you, Adam?
527
00:32:39,041 --> 00:32:40,041
What?
528
00:32:40,081 --> 00:32:42,001
What bit are you going to have?
529
00:32:43,081 --> 00:32:45,761
I'll be here, same as always.
530
00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:47,441
On your own?
531
00:32:47,561 --> 00:32:50,057
- I don't want to go anywhere else.
- And this is our hogback wood, too.
532
00:32:50,081 --> 00:32:52,841
We don't want to go to america or Asia.
533
00:32:52,961 --> 00:32:54,441
You will do as I say.
534
00:32:54,561 --> 00:32:57,761
Or what? You've already taken our mouths
and frozen us here.
535
00:32:57,881 --> 00:32:59,441
We can't get away.
536
00:32:59,561 --> 00:33:00,761
Actually, he could kill us.
537
00:33:00,881 --> 00:33:02,561
Pepper: Yes, you could do that.
538
00:33:04,081 --> 00:33:06,001
You aren't frozen any more.
539
00:33:06,121 --> 00:33:07,801
You can go anywhere you want. See?
540
00:33:07,921 --> 00:33:09,321
I don't care where you go.
541
00:33:15,641 --> 00:33:16,801
Goodbye, Adam.
542
00:33:16,921 --> 00:33:17,921
Brian: Goodbye, Adam.
543
00:33:18,041 --> 00:33:19,921
Actually, yes. Goodbye, Adam.
544
00:33:20,041 --> 00:33:22,561
- What do you mean "goodbye"?
- Stop following us!
545
00:33:22,681 --> 00:33:23,841
I'm not following you.
546
00:33:23,961 --> 00:33:26,841
We aren't your friends any more.
We don't like you.
547
00:33:27,921 --> 00:33:29,201
I don't care.
548
00:33:30,761 --> 00:33:34,041
Dog, come back!
549
00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:39,281
Voices whisper: Let them go.
You have the world.
550
00:33:39,401 --> 00:33:42,161
You have the power.
551
00:33:42,281 --> 00:33:44,881
You have the glory.
552
00:33:45,001 --> 00:33:46,961
Let them go.
553
00:33:55,721 --> 00:33:57,201
Give me back my dog!
554
00:33:58,881 --> 00:34:01,161
He's not your dog.
He's his own dog.
555
00:34:01,281 --> 00:34:02,961
And I don't think he likes you any more.
556
00:34:03,081 --> 00:34:04,561
You're really scary,
557
00:34:04,681 --> 00:34:06,377
- and you aren't our friend.
- You aren't anybody's friend.
558
00:34:06,401 --> 00:34:10,401
You're going to burn all this away. Why?
Because some adults mucked things up?
559
00:34:10,521 --> 00:34:13,121
That's a reason to fix it, not destroy it.
560
00:34:21,841 --> 00:34:23,801
Come back! Please?
561
00:34:47,641 --> 00:34:51,041
Deirdre: Come on, little one. Hello, Adam.
562
00:35:15,441 --> 00:35:16,521
I'm sorry.
563
00:35:19,561 --> 00:35:21,961
I... I wasn't...
564
00:35:22,081 --> 00:35:24,561
I don't think I was thinking straight.
565
00:35:24,681 --> 00:35:25,801
I am now.
566
00:35:37,321 --> 00:35:39,641
Pepper: Adam, what have you done?
567
00:35:39,761 --> 00:35:41,721
I... don't know.
568
00:35:41,841 --> 00:35:44,081
But whatever I've started,
we've got to stop it.
569
00:35:44,201 --> 00:35:47,481
We need our bicycles.
Meet back here in five minutes.
570
00:35:47,601 --> 00:35:49,041
Where are we going?
571
00:35:49,161 --> 00:35:50,641
Adam!
572
00:35:50,761 --> 00:35:53,721
Adam, after we get our bikes,
where are we going?
573
00:35:53,841 --> 00:35:55,841
The end of the world. It's not far.
574
00:35:59,241 --> 00:36:00,441
- I've got it.
- Oh, yeah?
575
00:36:00,561 --> 00:36:04,241
If Agnes tells you what to do,
and we need to do this right,
576
00:36:04,361 --> 00:36:06,121
then you just need to pick a card -
577
00:36:06,241 --> 00:36:08,281
any card.
578
00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:18,881
"When the skies are crimson seen..."
579
00:36:19,001 --> 00:36:21,281
Well, she got that bit right.
580
00:36:21,401 --> 00:36:23,681
"Then ye both must stand
between the world of life
581
00:36:23,801 --> 00:36:27,401
"and the world of war,
where the iron bird lands no more."
582
00:36:29,081 --> 00:36:30,401
See?
583
00:36:30,521 --> 00:36:32,361
It could be talking about us.
584
00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:35,321
"Where the iron bird lands no more."
585
00:36:35,441 --> 00:36:37,281
- Iron bird. That could be a plane.
- Mm-hm.
586
00:36:37,401 --> 00:36:38,641
Where don'tthey land?
587
00:36:38,761 --> 00:36:40,617
There's an American air force base
outside of town.
588
00:36:40,641 --> 00:36:42,161
They don't land planes there any more.
589
00:36:43,121 --> 00:36:45,017
I met some of the guys who work there
at the village pub.
590
00:36:45,041 --> 00:36:46,721
But why would we go there?
591
00:36:46,841 --> 00:36:49,401
I mean, all they have left in there
is communication technology.
592
00:36:49,521 --> 00:36:50,801
Computers and stuff.
593
00:36:50,921 --> 00:36:52,801
Nothing explosive at all.
594
00:36:59,561 --> 00:37:00,961
Oh, my god.
595
00:37:01,081 --> 00:37:03,841
Aziraphale's voice:
Dear lady, it seems to me
596
00:37:03,961 --> 00:37:06,041
we could make better time walking.
597
00:37:06,161 --> 00:37:09,161
Tracy's voice: It'd be a miracle
to get past ten miles an hour.
598
00:37:10,681 --> 00:37:13,001
Aziraphale's voice:
Miracles! Yes. Right.
599
00:37:13,121 --> 00:37:18,001
Um, hold on extremely tightly,
sergeant shadwell,
600
00:37:18,121 --> 00:37:19,601
if you'd be so kind.
601
00:37:22,561 --> 00:37:24,361
Whoa!
602
00:37:24,481 --> 00:37:26,457
Aziraphale's voice:
Don't look down, sergeant shadwell!
603
00:37:26,481 --> 00:37:29,201
And off we go the-e-en!
604
00:37:51,921 --> 00:37:52,961
I'm afraid we're lost.
605
00:37:53,081 --> 00:37:55,321
The signpost must have blown down.
606
00:37:55,441 --> 00:37:59,321
- We're looking for the air base.
- Well, it's second on the right.
607
00:37:59,441 --> 00:38:02,121
Well, it's not exactly on the right.
You go to the left,
608
00:38:02,241 --> 00:38:05,641
but you'll find that it winds its way
around to the right eventually.
609
00:38:05,761 --> 00:38:08,561
It's signposted "porrit's Lane".
You come into the village,
610
00:38:08,681 --> 00:38:12,001
you go up past the bull and fiddle
and you can't miss it.
611
00:38:12,121 --> 00:38:14,601
Not sure I got that.
612
00:38:14,721 --> 00:38:17,401
I did. Let us go.
613
00:38:24,681 --> 00:38:27,601
Anathema: "Behind the eagle's nest,
a grate ash hath fallen."
614
00:38:27,721 --> 00:38:29,041
Thafsit
615
00:38:30,761 --> 00:38:33,177
you know, most of my family thought
it was something to do with
616
00:38:33,201 --> 00:38:35,057
- the Russian revolution.
- You know, these places
617
00:38:35,081 --> 00:38:38,641
have some pretty serious people with
some extremely big guns guarding them.
618
00:38:38,761 --> 00:38:40,217
And if we don't get shot
trying to break in,
619
00:38:40,241 --> 00:38:42,657
then we're going to spend the last few
minutes before the world ends
620
00:38:42,681 --> 00:38:44,601
in a little cell
without any windows in it...
621
00:38:44,721 --> 00:38:47,081
Ok, I think you're getting yourself
a little overexcited.
622
00:38:47,201 --> 00:38:50,201
I'm not. I'm getting myself
quite calmly worried
623
00:38:50,321 --> 00:38:53,521
about being shot,
and then put in a cell,
624
00:38:53,641 --> 00:38:55,961
and then waterboarded,
and then... shot again.
625
00:38:56,081 --> 00:38:57,321
Don't worry.
626
00:38:57,441 --> 00:39:00,202
Agnes would have definitely told me
if someone was going to shoot you.
627
00:39:39,521 --> 00:39:40,881
This is the place.
628
00:39:42,801 --> 00:39:45,401
Is this all there is? I thought
it'd be more impressive somehow.
629
00:39:45,521 --> 00:39:47,881
All these thousands of years waiting,
630
00:39:48,001 --> 00:39:49,721
just for a ride of a hundred miles?
631
00:39:49,841 --> 00:39:51,921
If armageddon is anywhere...
632
00:39:52,041 --> 00:39:53,921
Then it is everywhere.
633
00:39:54,041 --> 00:39:56,801
- Let's crash through the barriers.
- Death: No.
634
00:39:56,921 --> 00:39:59,281
We go in, we do the job, we go out.
635
00:39:59,401 --> 00:40:02,561
The geography is immaterial.
636
00:40:21,081 --> 00:40:23,681
Surprise inspection, officer.
637
00:40:26,641 --> 00:40:30,201
I was not informated on
any surprise inspection, sir.
638
00:40:30,321 --> 00:40:32,801
Well, if you had, it wouldn't be
a surprise, now, would it?
639
00:40:32,921 --> 00:40:34,481
Can I...?
640
00:40:34,601 --> 00:40:36,961
Can I see some kind
of identification, sir?
641
00:40:39,241 --> 00:40:40,601
Very good, sir.
642
00:40:40,721 --> 00:40:42,361
Don't tell them we're coming, officer.
643
00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:44,601
We want it to be a surprise.
644
00:40:58,881 --> 00:41:01,641
"Behind the eagle's nest,
a grate ash hath fallen."
645
00:41:01,761 --> 00:41:03,601
Well, she's on the money there.
646
00:41:03,721 --> 00:41:05,881
Nice going, dick turpin.
647
00:41:07,081 --> 00:41:08,681
You really do call your car dick turpin.
648
00:41:08,761 --> 00:41:10,041
Yes?
649
00:41:11,521 --> 00:41:14,041
I bet you're hoping one day
someone's going to ask you why.
650
00:41:14,161 --> 00:41:15,401
Maybe.
651
00:41:17,041 --> 00:41:18,281
Right.
652
00:41:19,401 --> 00:41:21,721
It can't be this easy. It really can't.
653
00:41:21,841 --> 00:41:23,961
There's going to be guards
and security cameras.
654
00:41:27,041 --> 00:41:28,401
Where are we going?
655
00:41:31,561 --> 00:41:33,001
How do you know?
656
00:41:34,081 --> 00:41:35,281
Because everything in my life,
657
00:41:35,401 --> 00:41:37,841
everything Agnes wrote down
on that book 400 years ago,
658
00:41:37,961 --> 00:41:39,761
everything is all leading me here.
659
00:41:39,881 --> 00:41:42,561
Now. With you.
660
00:41:44,721 --> 00:41:46,521
I know.
661
00:41:47,881 --> 00:41:49,441
How are we going to stop them, exactly?
662
00:41:49,521 --> 00:41:51,161
Come on!
663
00:41:57,761 --> 00:42:00,041
Pepper: It's stupid calling it
a military base.
664
00:42:00,161 --> 00:42:03,401
I went up there on that open day,
and they didn't even have guns and things.
665
00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:06,161
Just lots of radios, satellite dishes
666
00:42:06,281 --> 00:42:09,241
- and stuff.
- Yeah, it was all knobs and dials.
667
00:42:09,361 --> 00:42:12,241
Stupid. What are your new friends
going to do here?
668
00:42:12,361 --> 00:42:14,881
Well, I suppose they could patch
into the worldwide military net
669
00:42:14,921 --> 00:42:16,217
and issue orders to all computers
670
00:42:16,241 --> 00:42:18,321
to activate all automated systems
and start fighting.
671
00:42:18,361 --> 00:42:22,121
- Actually, that would be quite difficult.
- Not really.
672
00:42:22,241 --> 00:42:23,601
Not if you're them.
673
00:43:11,561 --> 00:43:14,841
Oi, you! Stop!
674
00:43:14,961 --> 00:43:18,081
I said stop!
675
00:43:19,201 --> 00:43:22,361
Adam young, I thought it was you.
676
00:43:22,481 --> 00:43:25,881
And the rest of you.
Do your parents know you're out?
677
00:43:26,001 --> 00:43:27,937
Actually, it's not like
there's a law against being out.
678
00:43:27,961 --> 00:43:31,881
I mean, you can't get sent
to prison for "being out".
679
00:43:32,001 --> 00:43:34,961
And where are you four troublemakers
going this evening?
680
00:43:35,081 --> 00:43:37,521
And don't stick your tongue out
at me, young lady,
681
00:43:37,641 --> 00:43:39,321
or I'll have words with your mother.
682
00:43:39,441 --> 00:43:41,577
- We're going to the air base.
- If that's all right with you.
683
00:43:41,601 --> 00:43:44,481
I mean, we wouldn't want to go there
if it wasn't all right with you.
684
00:43:45,561 --> 00:43:50,641
Adam young, don't think
I won't talk to your father!
685
00:43:52,401 --> 00:43:54,281
Can someone pass me the screwdriver?
686
00:43:58,561 --> 00:44:00,241
Who the hell are you?
687
00:44:00,361 --> 00:44:03,801
I am neither of hell nor heaven.
688
00:44:03,921 --> 00:44:06,721
Pollution: What's so special
about this place, anyway?
689
00:44:06,841 --> 00:44:09,001
This is a classified communications hub.
690
00:44:09,121 --> 00:44:10,921
Everything comes through here.
691
00:44:11,041 --> 00:44:13,097
See, they've made it so they don't
even have to fight any more.
692
00:44:13,121 --> 00:44:15,402
- Machines will do it for them.
- Death: Except the dying.
693
00:44:15,481 --> 00:44:17,881
When it comes to some things,
694
00:44:18,001 --> 00:44:20,481
machines will never replace people.
695
00:44:20,601 --> 00:44:22,041
War: I can feel it.
696
00:44:22,161 --> 00:44:23,321
Another five minutes,
697
00:44:23,441 --> 00:44:25,321
and the whole world will be at war.
698
00:44:25,441 --> 00:44:26,721
Famine: And once the war begins,
699
00:44:26,761 --> 00:44:28,081
the famine comes...
700
00:44:28,201 --> 00:44:29,641
Then the pollution.
701
00:44:33,441 --> 00:44:36,361
We're in business.
702
00:44:48,321 --> 00:44:51,761
Voice of god: They are taking charge
of the electricity - all of it.
703
00:44:51,881 --> 00:44:54,761
And under their rule,
it is coming to life.
704
00:44:54,881 --> 00:44:56,041
They're fusing relays.
705
00:44:56,161 --> 00:44:57,601
T he y're closing switches.
706
00:44:57,721 --> 00:44:59,361
They're turning off the lights.
707
00:44:59,481 --> 00:45:01,201
They are in control.
708
00:45:01,321 --> 00:45:04,601
Let's get this show off the road.
709
00:45:18,921 --> 00:45:21,321
- Computer: All warheads armed.
- What the heck?
710
00:45:21,441 --> 00:45:22,657
Did you really just say, "what the heck"?
711
00:45:22,681 --> 00:45:25,361
Get me stratcom cyber command.
Something's happening.
712
00:45:29,161 --> 00:45:30,281
It has begun.
713
00:45:30,401 --> 00:45:32,001
Nuclear codes delivered.
714
00:45:32,121 --> 00:45:34,601
Everything is set in motion
for the final countdown.
715
00:45:34,721 --> 00:45:37,761
The sword is raised, ready to strike.
716
00:46:03,001 --> 00:46:06,201
It's not just nuclear destruction,
it's chemical, too.
717
00:46:06,321 --> 00:46:08,881
And my favourite standbys
are allchemical.
718
00:46:09,001 --> 00:46:13,001
Say what you like - plutonium
may give you grief for thousands of years,
719
00:46:13,121 --> 00:46:15,361
but arsenic is forever.
720
00:46:15,481 --> 00:46:18,681
The war, the pollution,
and then the winter.
721
00:46:18,801 --> 00:46:22,241
I like the winter. So cold.
722
00:46:22,361 --> 00:46:24,161
So clean. So hungry.
723
00:46:24,281 --> 00:46:25,801
♪ We will, we will
724
00:46:26,281 --> 00:46:27,841
♪ rock you
725
00:46:30,081 --> 00:46:33,481
♪ we will, we will rock you
726
00:46:35,921 --> 00:46:38,457
♪ buddy, you're a young man, hard man
shouting in the street... ♪
727
00:46:38,481 --> 00:46:43,801
Ah, excuse me. Sorry to bother you.
I seem to have got slightly lost.
728
00:46:43,921 --> 00:46:45,361
Tadfield air base?
729
00:46:45,481 --> 00:46:48,001
Voice of god: There are some things
it is very difficult to say.
730
00:46:48,041 --> 00:46:50,361
What rp Tyler truly wants to say is...
731
00:46:51,761 --> 00:46:54,801
Your car is on fire!
732
00:46:54,921 --> 00:46:58,041
But he can't.
.I' mean, the man must know, mustn't he?
733
00:46:58,161 --> 00:47:00,801
Perhaps it's some kind of practical joke?
734
00:47:00,921 --> 00:47:02,521
So he says...
735
00:47:02,641 --> 00:47:04,281
Might have taken the wrong turn.
736
00:47:04,401 --> 00:47:06,121
Signpost blown down.
737
00:47:06,241 --> 00:47:07,481
Easy mistake to make.
738
00:47:07,601 --> 00:47:11,481
- So, second on the right...
- When what he wants to say is...
739
00:47:11,601 --> 00:47:13,961
Young man, your car is on fire,
740
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,601
and you're still sitting in it,
741
00:47:15,721 --> 00:47:19,081
and frankly,
it's in no fit condition to drive!
742
00:47:19,201 --> 00:47:21,441
Right. Got it. T'rrific.
743
00:47:21,561 --> 00:47:23,241
- Young man?
- Yes?
744
00:47:23,361 --> 00:47:25,161
Very unusual weather for the time of year.
745
00:47:25,281 --> 00:47:26,921
I'm afraid I hadn't noticed.
746
00:47:27,041 --> 00:47:30,641
That's probably because
your stupid car is on fire!
747
00:47:30,761 --> 00:47:33,641
♪ We will, we will rock you... ♪
748
00:47:33,761 --> 00:47:35,361
All right!
749
00:48:16,161 --> 00:48:17,681
You see this finger, laddie?
750
00:48:17,801 --> 00:48:20,201
This finger could send you
to your maker.
751
00:48:20,321 --> 00:48:22,521
Aziraphale's voice:
It really is vitally important
752
00:48:22,641 --> 00:48:25,081
that we speak to whoever is in charge.
753
00:48:25,201 --> 00:48:27,601
Tracy's voice: He's telling the truth.
I'd know if he wasn't.
754
00:48:27,681 --> 00:48:30,401
Aziraphale's voice: Will you please
stop interrupting? I am trying...
755
00:48:30,441 --> 00:48:32,097
Tracy's voice: I just thought
I'd put in a good word for...
756
00:48:32,121 --> 00:48:33,417
Aziraphale's voice: Yeah, I understand,
757
00:48:33,441 --> 00:48:35,297
- but you must really...
- Will you please be quiet?
758
00:48:35,321 --> 00:48:36,601
Both of you?
759
00:48:36,721 --> 00:48:40,761
I mean, ma'am,
I must respectfully ask you to...
760
00:48:47,561 --> 00:48:52,401
♪ So you think you can stone me
and spit in my eye... ♪
761
00:48:54,041 --> 00:48:56,257
You wouldn't get that sort of performance
from a modern car.
762
00:48:56,281 --> 00:48:58,201
Aziraphale's voice: Crowley!
763
00:48:58,321 --> 00:49:00,281
Hey, aziraphale!
I see you found a ride.
764
00:49:00,401 --> 00:49:03,041
- Nice dress. Suits you.
- Aziraphale's voice: Ahh!
765
00:49:03,161 --> 00:49:06,161
This young man won't let us in.
766
00:49:07,601 --> 00:49:09,041
Leave it to me.
767
00:49:10,321 --> 00:49:12,321
Army human, my friend and I
768
00:49:12,441 --> 00:49:14,441
have come a long way, and...
769
00:49:16,121 --> 00:49:17,321
Which one of you did that?
770
00:49:19,081 --> 00:49:21,561
Ok, those kids are in big trouble.
771
00:49:21,681 --> 00:49:24,001
And so are you people. Don't move!
772
00:49:28,121 --> 00:49:30,361
All the chickens are coming home to roost.
773
00:49:30,481 --> 00:49:33,281
No more chickens.
774
00:49:33,401 --> 00:49:35,441
Computer: Countdown to activation
initiated.
775
00:49:35,561 --> 00:49:38,321
Pollution:
Our lord, our master, our friend.
776
00:49:38,441 --> 00:49:41,201
He's all we've been waiting for.
777
00:49:41,321 --> 00:49:43,361
When he joins us...
778
00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:45,561
We will be complete.
779
00:49:51,841 --> 00:49:54,841
Voice of god: Adam didn't know what
was going to happen next but he did know
780
00:49:54,961 --> 00:49:56,001
what he had to do.
781
00:49:56,121 --> 00:49:59,401
- So what are these people like?
- Don't know.
782
00:50:00,921 --> 00:50:02,041
Are they grown-ups?
783
00:50:10,001 --> 00:50:11,497
What the hell are you kids doing here?
784
00:50:11,521 --> 00:50:14,041
- It's all right.
- Listen, kid,
785
00:50:14,161 --> 00:50:15,681
you're on military property.
786
00:50:15,801 --> 00:50:18,761
I think you all need to go to sleep now.
All you soldiers.
787
00:50:25,921 --> 00:50:27,321
I'm here!
788
00:50:30,721 --> 00:50:32,761
He is here.
789
00:50:32,881 --> 00:50:34,761
Everything ends now.
790
00:50:34,881 --> 00:50:37,201
Time is over.
55855
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