All language subtitles for 3xxgxf;f

[Announcer]
Starring...

and...

Yes?

Oh, uh, gee, Dad.
It's nobody. It's just me.

Oh, polishing the brass,
huh?

Yeah.

Hey, come on.
Take a look at the mailbox.

Go ahead. You can see
your face in it.

Well, go ahead, Dad.

Oh, uh, not this early
in the morning.

Boy, I sure hope
we don't get any mail

for a couple of days.

I don't want the mailman
getting his fingerprints on it.

Well, Wally,
you're doing a fine job.

It's good to see you take
an interest in your home.

Sure, Dad.

Well, Beaver, what are you
going to do today?

Well, I'm going over
to Lumpy Rutherford's

with Whitey and Gilbert.

Lumpy might let us
wash his car.

Let you wash it?

Yeah!

Last time, he charged us
a quarter to wash it.

This time he might let us
do it for nothing.

Well, good morning!

Hi, Dad.
Good morning, dear.

Say, June,
do you know Wally's out on the
front porch polishing the brass?

He's really taking
an interest in his home.

He's taking an interest
in it at the rate of
fifty cents an hour.

He made a deal
with Mom last night.

Oh.

Boy, you know, you kids
really have it easy.

When I was a boy,
I had chores to do.

I had to bring in firewood,
get up before daylight,

go out to a cold barn
to milk the cows.

I didn't get paid a cent
for it, either.

You know, Dad, you should've
waited 'til now to be a kid.

Larry gets a quarter
for just being quiet

when his dad gets home.

Well, that's not the way
my father kept me quiet.

Oh, yeah. You had
a hittin' father, didn't ya?

May I be excused?

I guess so.

I'll be home for lunch,
Mom.

All right.

Where's he off to?

Oh, he's going over
to the Rutherfords'

to wash Lumpy's car.

Why doesn't he stay here
and wash our car?

Because last time
he had to pay Lumpy
a quarter to wash his car.

This time, he might
get to do it for nothing.

Oh.

Ward,
didn't you once tell me

that your father
had a modern dairy farm

with electric
milking machines?

Well, yes, he did.

But, uh, but I had to get up
before daylight to turn them on.

Wally, what are you
doing there?

I'm polishing
the andirons.

Oh, well, that wasn't
part of the deal.

Yeah, I know, but I had some
extra brass polish left over,

so I thought I'd throw it in
on you for nothing.

After all,
I live here, too.

Wally, you're
a dear, sweet boy.

Aw, gee, Mom.
Don't say that.

It kind of
makes me feel creepy.

Let's get with it,
you babies!

What are you waiting for,
your 3:00 bottle?

That's pretty funny,
huh, Beav?

Yeah. You're always saying
funny stuff like that, Lumpy.

Don't call me Lumpy!

Oh, sure, Clarence.

Hey, Clarence, after we finish
the car, can we sit in it?

What do you think it is,
a high chair or something?

Gee, we just want to sit in it
and pretend we're driving.

You said we could.

You got that in writing,
Freckles?

Who are you talking to,
Clarence?

He's talking to you,
Beaver.

You're the only one
with freckles.

Yeah, I guess I am.

Huh, you really say
funny stuff, Clarence.

Never mind.
Just don't stop working!

And, hey, squeeze
that rag out, Freckles!

You want to leave streaks?

Well, Lumpy--
I mean, Clarence.

Yeah, Freckles?

I'd like it better
if you called me Beaver,
like you always do.

Beaver's a dumb name.

I like Freckles
a lot better.

Don't you, fellas?

Gee.

Sure, Clarence.

Yeah, sure.

Where do you think
you're going?

I just remembered
I've gotta go home.

Well, take it easy,
Freckles.

So long, guys.

So long, Freckles.

Yeah, so long, Freckles.

You know something,
Clarence?

What?

I'd rather be a Beaver
than a Lumpy.

Lump, Lump, Lump!

Hey, Clarence, I think
you hurt Beaver's feelings.

Shut up, or I won't let you
wash my car!

Sure, Clarence.

Sure, Lumpy.

Hi, dear.
Hi.

Hi, Mom.

Well, we got everything
on your list.

Oh, thank you.

Well, what's this?

That's frozen
Hungarian goulash.

Well, I didn't ask
for this.

Well, gee, Mom,
don't worry.

The guy at the market said
that if it makes you sick,

you get a new box free.

How much did you spend?

Look at this.
Two feet of groceries.

I can remember
a few years ago

when we could eat for
a whole week on half a foot.

Beaver still over
at Lumpy's?

Oh, no. He came home
about an hour ago

and went up to his room.

Up to his room, huh?
Mm-hm.

On a Saturday afternoon.

I suppose it's too much
to hope he's reading a book.

Oh.

Oh, hi, Beav.
Hi, Wally.

Hey, what are you doing?

Just looking at myself.

Hey, you're not messing with my
shaving lotion again, are you?

Huh-uh. If you want,
you could smell me.

Okay, okay.

Hey, Wally, do you notice
anything about my face?

Doesn't look any dumber
than usual.

I mean, is there
anything on my face?

Well, sure, dirt.

I mean, is there anything
on my face that belongs to me?

Well, sure.
You've got two eyes,

a nose, and a mouth,
and some freckles.

Are they good-looking freckles
or bad-looking freckles?

Whoever heard of good-looking
freckles, you goof?

Dad?

Are you busy?

Oh, well, uh, sort of,
Beaver.

I'm writing out some
checks. What is it you want?

Well, what makes people
have freckles?

Well, they're caused
by pigment.

Pigment?
Mm-hm.

Is that what makes pigs
look like pigs?

[Ward chuckling] -
I never thought of that, Beaver.

Why do you want to know
about freckles?

Well, what would happen if
a guy had a lot of freckles?

Say, uh, well,
say a million.

Well, he'd probably make
a fortune.

How could he do that?

Well, I remember a boy
who used to work in, uh,

in pictures years ago
in the old "Our Gang" comedies,

and he must have had
a million freckles.

Every time he came on
the screen, people just howled.

They laughed at him?

Well, sure. You couldn't
help but laugh at him.

I remember one picture, uh,
it was about a freckle contest,

and when this kid came
on the screen, the people--

You don't have freckles,
do you, Mom?

No, I guess not.

Then how come I got them,
if you don't got them?

Well, I don't have
the Bronson skin.

Gee, whose skin
do you have?

Honey, that's just
an expression.

Your Aunt Martha has
the Bronson skin like you do.

Why, to this day,
when she goes out in the sun,

she has to take a parasol along,
so she won't get freckles.

Men can't carry parasols,
can they, Mom?

No, honey, I guess not.

Then what can they do
about their freckles?

Mm, I guess they just
have to learn to live with them.

Mom, if I started out
with Bronson skin,

how long does it take to turn
into Cleaver skin?

Oh, honey, it just
doesn't work that way.

You'll have Bronson skin
for the rest of your life.

Dear, supper
will be ready soon.

Have you seen the boys?

I don't know
where Beaver is.

Wally went out
a while ago.

Hmph.

Uh, he might have
a date.

Did he say he did?

No, but he had on a clean
shirt and his letterman sweater.

What are we going
to have for supper?

Well, honey,
I hate to disappoint you,

but it is not frozen
Hungarian goulash.

Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.

Hello, Wally.

Did you have a good time
this afternoon?

Yeah, it was okay.

I went over to see
Eddie Haskell.

He got hurt in school
yesterday.

Was Eddie in a fight?

Nah.

He was goofing around
in the library,

and a book fell down
and hit him in the head.

Did you get cleaned up
just to go over and see Eddie?

Gee, no, Mom.
I had to.

I ran out of dirty stuff.

Uh, did you see
your brother in your travels?

Huh-uh.
When I left,

he was sitting
up in his room.

Well, he must have gone out
without our hearing him.

Come on, Wally.
Help me set the table.

Ah, gee, Mom, uh,
it's kind of sissy stuff.

Well, of course it isn't.

Someday you'll be helping
your wife set the table.

Come on.

Boy, how do
you like that, Dad?

I'm only a junior
in high school,

and she's going
and getting me married.

Boy, you ugly
freckle-faced kid, you.

[Wally sighing]

Wally!

Oh, well, gee, Mom.

I was just saving you
the trouble of throwing it away.

Well, next time,
don't bother.

Sure, Mom.

Wally, would you go and tell
Beaver to get ready for supper?

Tell him to wash his hands
and face, brush his hair,

and clean his nails.

Oh, sure, Mom.

I'll go up and yell at him
just like I was you.

Oh, hi, Wally.
Hi, Dad.

Where are you going?

Upstairs to holler
at the Beaver.

Dear, the knives and forks
are all on the wrong side.

I know, dear.

I waited for Wally to leave
before I changed them.

Hey, Beaver!

[Beaver] In here!

Oh.

Hey, Beaver.
Come on, let me in.

I want to get washed.

[Beaver]
You wash someplace else!

I've got dibs in here
first!

Okay,
if you want to be selfish.

[Beaver] Okay,
I want to be selfish.

Hey, Beaver.

What are you doing
with Dad's sandpaper?

Nothing, Wally.

Nothing at all.

Ow.

Boy, those creepy Bronsons.

Wally!

Wally, what are you
doing there?

Well, gee, Mom.
I'm just washing my hands.

Beaver's upstairs
hogging the bathroom.

Oh. Well,
all right, honey.

But don't dry your hands
on my dishtowel.

Sure, Mom.

June!
June!

I'm coming, dear!

Well, where have you been?

I went upstairs, and I found
my dressing table a mess.

There was makeup and powder
all over everything.

Gee, I didn't do it, Mom.

Honey, I didn't say
anyone did it.

The curtains must have blown
and knocked the bottles over.

Uh, how do you
want your meat, Wally?

Medium or rare?

Oh, I don't care,

just as long as it's got
plenty of blood on it.

Where's the Beaver?

He's not down yet.

Call your brother,
will you, Wally?

Oh, sure, Dad.

Beaver! Hey, Beaver!

Wally, please!

Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.

Hi, Dad. Hi, Mom.

Beaver,
what have you got--

Uh, Wally, uh,
isn't your meat getting cold?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess it is, Dad.

I'll get the salad.

Hey, I'll, uh,
I'll help you.

Dear, Beaver
was in my makeup!

Now, why in the world would he
put that all over his face?

Well, it just
dawned on me.

He was downstairs today
talking to me about freckles.

You know, he was talking
to me about them, too.

I'm afraid I didn't pay
much attention to him.

Well, for some reason,
he's self-conscious about them,

and he's trying
to cover them up.

Well, he can't keep
that makeup all over his face.

No, but, uh--

[Wally laughing]

But let's not say anything
to him right away.

I don't want
to embarrass him.

Let's see if we can't get
to the bottom of it first,
and then--

Hey, guys. What's up?

Wally, nothing is up.

You mean, you didn't
notice that gook

that Beaver's got smeared
all over his face?

Yes, Wally. We noticed it,

and we're not going to say
anything about it.

Oh, I get it.
Child psychology, huh?

Uh, shall we go in?

Something wrong?

No, dear,
nothing wrong at all.

Well, Wally, uh, what are you
going to do tonight?

Wally,
your father asked you what
you were going to do tonight.

Oh.

Well, uh, I don't know.

I might take Mary Ellen Rogers
to the movies.

That's nice.

Does anyone notice anything
different about me?

Well, heck, no.

No, I don't notice
anything different.

Do I, Dad?

No, Wally.

But, you know, uh, now
that you mention it, Beaver,

uh, there does seem to be
something different.

It's around the face,
isn't it, Ward?

Yes, uh, yes.
I think it is.

My freckles are gone!

Well, so they are.

I'll be darned.

They're, they're
all gone. Aren't they, Wally?

Search me.

I can't see a thing
through that glop.

Beaver, don't you like
your freckles?

I hate 'em.

Why, Beaver?

Lumpy Rutherford
called me Freckles,

and you said in the movie they
laughed at guys with freckles.

Well, then Mom said I'd end up
looking like Aunt Martha

and have to wear a parasol
for the rest of my life,

and I feel sick,

and I'm not gonna eat
anything more tonight

because everyone in this house
is against me!

Gee, he must be growing up.

He used to didn't care whether
he was funny-looking or not.

Poor Beaver.

I wish I'd known he was
so upset about his freckles

when he talked to me
this afternoon.

Yeah.

The sad thing is there are
more freckles in his mind

than there are on his face.

Dear, there must be
something we can say to him

to make him feel better.

Well, I suppose I could, um,

I could tell him about
some of the great men in history

who had freckles.

Certainly,
and you could show him

that freckles
didn't hold them back.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, uh,
first of all, there's, um--

How do you like that?

All I can think of
is Arthur Godfrey.

Lincoln had a mole.

Yeah, that would be
a good one to start with.

[knock on door]

- Oh, hi, Dad.
- Hi, Wally.

I, uh, thought the Beaver
was up here.

He is. He's been sitting
in the bathroom

ever since after supper.

Oh.

Uh, Wally, I'd like
to talk to him alone.

Oh, sure, Dad. It's okay.

I'm taking Mary Ellen Rogers
to the movies.

Gotta go pick her up.

Well,
you'd better hurry up.

Gee, I don't want to get
to her house early, Dad.

If you get there early, you've
gotta sit in the living room

and let her father
look at ya.

That's right, isn't it?

I'd almost forgotten
how that was.

Well, uh,
have a good time, Wally.

Oh, sure, Dad.

[knock on door]

Come on out, son.

You want something, Dad?

Yeah.

Beaver, both your mother
and I are very sorry

that we didn't realize how you
felt about your freckles today.

I'm afraid we sort of
made the whole thing worse,
didn't we?

You didn't make it worse.
It was already worse.

Look, son.

In the first place, you don't
have very many freckles.

And anyway,
it's not important

what you look like
on the outside.

It's what you are
on the inside that counts.

But, gee.

Nobody can see my insides.

Yeah, well, uh, that's not
exactly what I meant, Beaver.

Uh, look.

Let's take
Abraham Lincoln.

Did he have freckles?

No, he had a mole.

A mole?

Yeah.

He was considered
a very homely man,

but he became President
of the United States,

and everybody loved him.

Do you know why?

Because he was nice
to moles?

No, I mean,
he had a mole on his face.

Oh, that kind of a mole.

Yeah.
And did you know,

every day, hundreds of people
go to visit Lincoln's statue

in Washington, D.C.?

Now, this is the statue
of a homely man,

but all these people
come to visit it, because,

well, because
they want to honor Lincoln

for what he was like
on the inside:

a good, kind man.

See, it just doesn't matter
what Lincoln looked like.

Now, do you understand?

Sure, Dad.

Well, I wouldn't care
what I looked like either,

if I was President
of the United States.

[Ward sighing]

Oh, hi, Mom.

Well, hello, Wally!
You're home early!

I thought you had
football practice.

They called it off on account
of the field's all wet.

Why, it hasn't rained
in two weeks.

Yeah, I know.

The automatic sprinklers
forgot

to turn themselves off
last night.

The coach and the principal
had a meeting about it.

They couldn't decide
whether to let us practice

and clean our uniforms,

or to not let us practice
and go stale.

They decided
to let us go stale.

That's nice.

Hey, I saw Beaver.

He was over on
the other side of the park.

Oh, what was he
doing over there?

Well, I asked him,
and he said he went over
to see Clyde Appleby.

Clyde Appleby?

Beaver's never
mentioned him before.

Well, he's one of the bigger
kids from Beaver's school.

I thought you knew him.

He beat Beaver up
last year.

Beat him up?
Oh, Wally, you don't think

Beaver's going to get
into another fight, do you?

Not Beaver.
He's learned his lesson.

Man, he's had it
with that kid.

Hi, Clyde.

Hi, Beaver.

What are you doing here?

I haven't seen you
since I beat ya up.

Oh, that's not
why I came over.

I wanted to ask you
something.

Go ahead.

You won't get mad, will ya?

I don't know.
Go ahead and ask me.

How do you stand it?

Stand what?

Having freckles.

Heck, I like 'em.

Do you really?

Sure, it's swell.

People got something
to call ya,

even when they
don't know your name.

Sometimes, even people
driving by in cars yell

"Hey, Freckles!" at me.
I think it's neat.

Gee, I didn't think
it was so good.

What are you
talking about?

When I go to the store with
a bunch of guys for ice cream,

I'm the first
one who gets his.

The guy says,
"What flavor, Freckles?"

And then I tell him.

Boy, sure is neat,
all right.

Yeah, and you get to meet
a whole bunch of neat people

from having freckles.

Gee, I didn't think
it was so neat.

Yeah.

And you know
what happened once?

What?

Once, a big girl asked me
if she could count my freckles.

Yeah?

Yeah.
And you know what?

What?

Promise
you won't tell anybody.

I promise.

Cross your heart
and hope to break a leg?

Cross my heart
and hope to break a leg.

I let her do it.

Clyde Appleby
really said that, huh?

Yeah, and he said it was
real neat having freckles,

because everyone noticed him
and said hello to him.

And I almost wish
I had some more.

Yeah, I guess if you've got
something different,

you're gonna get noticed.

Sure, look at
Angela Valentine in my class.

She had an extra toe,

and all the time
everybody was asking to see it.

Yeah, she was
a real popular kid.

Then her parents went
and cut it off,

and now she's nothing.

Yeah, well,
that's the way it goes.

[car pulling up outside]

Dad's home.

Cut it out, will ya?

Hi, dear.

Hi.

Hey, uh,
how's the Beaver?

I've been thinking about him
all day.

Oh, honey,
he's fine!

He came home from school
as happy as a lark.

Oh, did he say anything
about his freckles?

Yes, he said he was glad
he had the Bronson skin,

and he wished he had more.

Huh. How do you like that?

It certainly was a change.

Yesterday, freckles
were the biggest thing
in his whole life!

Yeah, well, that's one of
the advantages of being a kid.

The biggest problem
in your life

seldom lasts
more than 24 hours.