All language subtitles for The Righteous Gemstones - 03x03 - For Their Nakedness Is Your Own Nakedness.EDITH-FENiX.English.C.edit.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,848 --> 00:00:11,433 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 2 00:00:11,434 --> 00:00:13,684 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 3 00:00:13,685 --> 00:00:17,856 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 4 00:00:17,857 --> 00:00:19,567 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 5 00:00:19,568 --> 00:00:21,903 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 6 00:00:21,904 --> 00:00:25,073 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 7 00:00:25,446 --> 00:00:27,448 ♪ When I laid my work by ♪ 8 00:00:27,449 --> 00:00:29,576 ♪ I've a home in the sky ♪ 9 00:00:29,577 --> 00:00:33,206 ♪ For there will come a payday someday ♪ 10 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:37,374 ♪ Where no interest comes due or notes to renew ♪ 11 00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:41,337 ♪ Oh, there will come a payday someday ♪ 12 00:00:41,338 --> 00:00:45,467 ♪ Here, I work every day for such bigger pay ♪ 13 00:00:45,468 --> 00:00:49,180 ♪ But there will come a payday someday ♪ 14 00:00:49,181 --> 00:00:53,474 ♪ And the title's not clear to the home I own here ♪ 15 00:00:53,475 --> 00:00:57,854 ♪ But there will come a payday someday ♪ 16 00:00:57,855 --> 00:00:59,521 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 17 00:00:59,522 --> 00:01:01,815 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 18 00:01:01,816 --> 00:01:05,861 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 19 00:01:05,862 --> 00:01:07,238 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 20 00:01:07,239 --> 00:01:09,739 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 21 00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:13,035 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 22 00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:21,460 ♪ Our wonderful Lord gives a home as reward ♪ 23 00:01:21,461 --> 00:01:25,382 ♪ 'Cause there will come a payday someday ♪ 24 00:01:25,383 --> 00:01:29,346 ♪ His work cleanly shows he'll never foreclose ♪ 25 00:01:29,347 --> 00:01:33,434 ♪ He promised a payday that day ♪ 26 00:01:33,536 --> 00:01:37,518 ♪ When the door opens wide with its beauty inside ♪ 27 00:01:37,519 --> 00:01:41,000 ♪ Oh, what a grand payday that day ♪ 28 00:01:41,257 --> 00:01:45,442 ♪ With a handshake and then, "Brother, come right on in" ♪ 29 00:01:45,443 --> 00:01:49,507 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday that day ♪ 30 00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:51,573 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 31 00:01:51,574 --> 00:01:53,874 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 32 00:01:53,875 --> 00:01:57,819 ♪ There will come a payday someday, someday ♪ 33 00:01:57,820 --> 00:01:59,373 ♪ There will come a payday ♪ 34 00:01:59,374 --> 00:02:01,668 ♪ Hallelujah, what a payday ♪ 35 00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:05,963 ♪ There will come a payday someday ♪ 36 00:02:06,004 --> 00:02:07,756 Yes! 37 00:02:07,757 --> 00:02:09,843 Baby Billy loves you now. 38 00:02:09,965 --> 00:02:11,301 Baby Billy loves you so much. 39 00:02:11,302 --> 00:02:13,346 It's so good to be with all y'all 40 00:02:13,347 --> 00:02:15,431 here at Zion's Landing. 41 00:02:15,432 --> 00:02:20,101 Now, come see me now, 7:00 at the Mangrove Pavilion, 42 00:02:20,102 --> 00:02:21,145 every night. 43 00:02:21,146 --> 00:02:22,396 You gon' love it. 44 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,312 Every night. 45 00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,240 - Daddy's home. - Ugh. 46 00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:35,410 Must be hot out there. 47 00:02:35,452 --> 00:02:37,937 You bet your ass it's hot. 48 00:02:38,170 --> 00:02:40,297 It's hotter than hell, if I'm being honest. 49 00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:44,377 If we weren't staying in this fancy hotel, 50 00:02:44,461 --> 00:02:46,129 I don't think I could do it. 51 00:02:46,171 --> 00:02:48,203 Yeah, the commute ain't bad. 52 00:02:49,048 --> 00:02:53,469 The rest of it's wearing thin, singing by a fucking pool. 53 00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:55,138 It's a nice pool. 54 00:02:55,221 --> 00:02:57,140 You're doing so well for somebody who used to be 55 00:02:57,141 --> 00:02:58,807 a famous singer long ago. 56 00:02:58,808 --> 00:03:01,102 What you talking 'bout, used to be famous? 57 00:03:01,103 --> 00:03:02,771 I'm still famous. 58 00:03:02,854 --> 00:03:04,314 Of course. 59 00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:06,023 Why do you want to play mind games? 60 00:03:06,024 --> 00:03:07,314 Get all in my head? 61 00:03:07,315 --> 00:03:10,117 Baby, you're being silly. 62 00:03:10,285 --> 00:03:13,747 I'm very proud of you, and so is Lionel. 63 00:03:13,748 --> 00:03:15,458 Aren't you, buddy? 64 00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:18,494 Everybody that's famous knows 65 00:03:18,495 --> 00:03:20,789 that true famous people go through different phases 66 00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:22,542 on the Being Famous Train. 67 00:03:22,747 --> 00:03:24,416 I'm a international-known talent. 68 00:03:24,417 --> 00:03:26,147 I deserve a mainstay, 69 00:03:26,148 --> 00:03:29,046 not singing for a bunch of basic Christian sun bums. 70 00:03:29,047 --> 00:03:30,340 Yeah. 71 00:03:32,676 --> 00:03:34,671 That's what I need right there. 72 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:37,117 My own game show. 73 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,591 Just standing in air conditioning all day, 74 00:03:39,592 --> 00:03:42,719 looking cool, being charming. 75 00:03:42,935 --> 00:03:45,938 Boy, I bet they knock out 20 of them episodes a day, 76 00:03:45,939 --> 00:03:46,940 printing money. 77 00:03:46,941 --> 00:03:49,068 Bet you a game show host makes a bunch of money. 78 00:03:49,069 --> 00:03:50,404 Yep. 79 00:03:50,584 --> 00:03:52,545 That pretty girl that hands out prizes, 80 00:03:52,546 --> 00:03:54,718 she makes a lot of money too, now. 81 00:03:55,072 --> 00:03:57,033 I can hand out prizes on TV? 82 00:03:57,034 --> 00:04:00,412 Well, you the prettiest girl I know. 83 00:04:00,578 --> 00:04:02,538 And if Lionel learns how to speak, 84 00:04:02,539 --> 00:04:03,976 he could be our announcer. 85 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,540 And a job for our baby Aimee-Leigh Jr. 86 00:04:05,541 --> 00:04:06,709 when she gets born. 87 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:09,421 If she's got talent, you bet your ass. 88 00:04:09,544 --> 00:04:13,048 I think we just witnessed a mission from God. 89 00:04:13,049 --> 00:04:15,062 Is that what that was? 90 00:04:16,469 --> 00:04:17,677 It's time for Baby Billy to be 91 00:04:17,678 --> 00:04:19,303 back on the motherfucking TV. 92 00:04:20,849 --> 00:04:21,972 Yay! 93 00:04:21,973 --> 00:04:25,227 ♪ Praise ♪ 94 00:04:28,399 --> 00:04:32,611 ♪ Praise ♪ 95 00:04:32,736 --> 00:04:35,405 Them feds were everywhere, jumping out from trees, 96 00:04:35,406 --> 00:04:38,283 behind bushes, screaming and hollering. 97 00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,326 So much screaming and hollering. 98 00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:42,170 Motherfuckers got Ruby Ridged. 99 00:04:42,245 --> 00:04:43,747 We made it to the safe house, 100 00:04:43,788 --> 00:04:46,207 but then Pa said y'all called the feds, 101 00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:48,125 and he accused us of helping you. 102 00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:49,627 And don't forget about 103 00:04:49,711 --> 00:04:51,837 cutting the tip of Jacob's ear off. 104 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:52,943 Chew your food. 105 00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,987 God gave you teeth for a reason. 106 00:04:54,988 --> 00:04:56,320 Yes, ma'am. 107 00:04:56,321 --> 00:04:58,302 You sure you didn't tip off the law, Eli? 108 00:04:58,303 --> 00:04:59,344 I could see you doing that. 109 00:04:59,345 --> 00:05:00,888 I already told you no. 110 00:05:00,972 --> 00:05:02,765 I never wanted nothing to do with this. 111 00:05:02,766 --> 00:05:05,477 Well, he thinks you did, and that's all that matters, 112 00:05:05,478 --> 00:05:08,356 so now we're on his shit list too. 113 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,646 Thanks, Mama. 114 00:05:09,647 --> 00:05:12,359 How can you hate me more than him? 115 00:05:12,456 --> 00:05:14,708 Blame me for everything. Everything's my fault! 116 00:05:14,709 --> 00:05:17,253 Because everything is your fault! 117 00:05:17,487 --> 00:05:19,239 Bringing the Gemstones into this? 118 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,866 Now look where we are. 119 00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:23,828 In a mansion, wearing fucking bathrobes? 120 00:05:24,016 --> 00:05:26,685 Oh, shit! 121 00:05:26,686 --> 00:05:28,749 All right, Chuck, stop your fussing and your talking back. 122 00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:29,750 Just come home. 123 00:05:29,751 --> 00:05:31,749 We ain't going nowhere with you. 124 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,586 Get that through your head. 125 00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:36,348 We'd rather be homeless bums living under a bridge. 126 00:05:36,424 --> 00:05:37,633 We would? 127 00:05:37,634 --> 00:05:39,630 Yes, Karl, we would. 128 00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:44,264 Why? 129 00:05:44,265 --> 00:05:46,028 May-May! 130 00:05:46,808 --> 00:05:49,317 Where the heck you think you're going, dummy? 131 00:05:49,318 --> 00:05:52,655 You heard 'em. Just like you, they hate me. 132 00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:54,942 Maybe they grew up smarter than they seem. 133 00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:57,111 Is this how you're gonna handle your boys? 134 00:05:57,112 --> 00:05:58,321 Just walk away? 135 00:05:58,322 --> 00:05:59,448 If I don't leave, they're going to. 136 00:05:59,449 --> 00:06:00,867 At least here, there's guarded gates 137 00:06:00,868 --> 00:06:02,491 between them and their father. 138 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:05,245 No, no, you're not sticking your boys with me. 139 00:06:05,368 --> 00:06:06,995 No, I'm not harboring fugitives. 140 00:06:06,996 --> 00:06:08,788 Now, I'll give 'em some walking around money 141 00:06:08,789 --> 00:06:10,666 - and send them on their way. - No, you won't. 142 00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:12,252 They'll get themselves killed. 143 00:06:12,253 --> 00:06:14,086 You keep 'em here. You keep 'em safe. 144 00:06:14,087 --> 00:06:15,420 You're their uncle. 145 00:06:19,969 --> 00:06:22,886 Do you want me to say "please"? Fine, Eli. 146 00:06:22,887 --> 00:06:27,017 Please, please keep that wicked man away from my sons. 147 00:06:38,070 --> 00:06:40,206 She kung fu'd my larynx, Daddy. 148 00:06:40,363 --> 00:06:43,116 My voice is God's gift, dude. 149 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,367 May-May could have ruined that forever just now. 150 00:06:45,368 --> 00:06:47,369 Yeah, what were you thinking, Daddy? 151 00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:48,705 You won't even help your own kids, 152 00:06:48,706 --> 00:06:50,498 but you'll take in these bozos? 153 00:06:50,623 --> 00:06:54,044 Two fucking fugitives just roaming around the compound 154 00:06:54,045 --> 00:06:56,253 like damn free-range chickens. 155 00:06:56,262 --> 00:06:58,264 They're not livestock, Jesse. 156 00:06:58,265 --> 00:07:00,674 They're our family, first cousins. 157 00:07:00,675 --> 00:07:03,175 Uh, they're fucking Montgomerys is what they are. 158 00:07:03,176 --> 00:07:04,219 Fucking savages. 159 00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:06,556 I have zero sympathy for that family. 160 00:07:06,557 --> 00:07:07,765 - Zero. - Same. 161 00:07:07,766 --> 00:07:09,309 You know what we should do, Daddy? 162 00:07:09,321 --> 00:07:10,851 We should be all "return to sender." 163 00:07:10,852 --> 00:07:13,060 Ship 'em right back to crazy Aunt May-May. 164 00:07:13,061 --> 00:07:15,397 Mm-kay? Let her deal with it. Bye-bye. 165 00:07:15,398 --> 00:07:17,692 She can't deal. That's why they're here. 166 00:07:17,693 --> 00:07:19,695 Make your cousins feel comfortable. 167 00:07:19,811 --> 00:07:22,718 They're family. Spend some time with 'em. 168 00:07:22,719 --> 00:07:23,989 Gross. 169 00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:25,782 We don't want to spend time with them creeps. 170 00:07:25,783 --> 00:07:28,494 - Mm-mm. - You think I want 'em here? 171 00:07:28,495 --> 00:07:30,468 I'm not asking. I'm telling. 172 00:07:30,469 --> 00:07:32,976 Shit. One of 'em's looking. 173 00:07:33,289 --> 00:07:35,959 Okay, I just saw one of 'em look 174 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,462 and then duck down, Haunted Mansion style. 175 00:07:38,463 --> 00:07:40,461 Just watch. 176 00:07:41,383 --> 00:07:43,134 - See? There they are! - Oh! 177 00:07:43,135 --> 00:07:44,593 Fucking Montgomerys. 178 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,262 We see you! 179 00:07:46,428 --> 00:07:47,721 Let 'em watch. 180 00:07:47,722 --> 00:07:49,483 Yeah, fuck y'all. 181 00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:53,672 Sit and spin, bitches. 182 00:07:54,383 --> 00:07:56,147 Go home. Nobody likes you here. 183 00:07:56,314 --> 00:07:58,691 That's what we think about our cousins, Daddy. 184 00:07:58,692 --> 00:08:00,930 Yeah, we don't like them. 185 00:08:09,992 --> 00:08:12,077 BJ. Is Judy here? 186 00:08:12,078 --> 00:08:14,121 No, she's out. 187 00:08:14,246 --> 00:08:15,312 What did you need? 188 00:08:15,313 --> 00:08:16,897 I had something for her. 189 00:08:17,085 --> 00:08:18,461 Here. 190 00:08:18,462 --> 00:08:20,461 If she wants me to explain how to use it, I can, 191 00:08:20,462 --> 00:08:21,798 or there's also a video included 192 00:08:21,799 --> 00:08:23,509 that can explain it as well. 193 00:08:23,674 --> 00:08:25,801 Is this a board game? We love games. 194 00:08:25,802 --> 00:08:28,680 No, it is the opposite of a silly game. 195 00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:31,640 It's The System, my at-home relationship counseling kit. 196 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,125 Counseling? 197 00:08:33,441 --> 00:08:35,444 Did Judy ask for this? 198 00:08:35,527 --> 00:08:39,448 No, I was just, um... I was just dropping it by 199 00:08:39,449 --> 00:08:40,742 in case she wanted to take a look at it, 200 00:08:40,743 --> 00:08:42,567 'cause she didn't ask for it, 'cause she doesn't need it. 201 00:08:42,568 --> 00:08:43,695 No one needs it. 202 00:08:43,819 --> 00:08:44,987 There are people that need it. 203 00:08:44,988 --> 00:08:47,984 But there's no specific reason why I'm bringing it by today. 204 00:08:48,632 --> 00:08:50,885 Well, I'll make sure she gets it. 205 00:08:58,043 --> 00:08:59,961 The System? 206 00:09:01,822 --> 00:09:04,555 That's where they keep the cars, right? 207 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,500 Think so. 208 00:09:15,768 --> 00:09:18,955 Where the fuck do those honkies think they're going? 209 00:09:19,064 --> 00:09:22,025 Oh, wow. 210 00:09:23,818 --> 00:09:25,494 These motherfuckers. 211 00:09:29,199 --> 00:09:31,775 No way. 212 00:09:40,339 --> 00:09:42,211 It's the Redeemer! 213 00:09:42,212 --> 00:09:44,047 Whoo! 214 00:09:44,048 --> 00:09:46,216 I can't believe he's still got it. 215 00:09:46,382 --> 00:09:48,092 Oh, she's beautiful. 216 00:09:48,093 --> 00:09:49,510 She's so pretty. 217 00:09:49,511 --> 00:09:51,554 Oh, I want to get all up in there. 218 00:09:51,596 --> 00:09:53,848 Get in there, big brother. Get in there. 219 00:09:53,849 --> 00:09:55,593 - Help me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 220 00:09:57,402 --> 00:09:59,404 Yep. 221 00:09:59,405 --> 00:10:00,896 What's it like? What's it like? 222 00:10:00,897 --> 00:10:02,523 It's amazing. 223 00:10:02,524 --> 00:10:04,250 - It's fucking awesome! - Whoo! 224 00:10:04,251 --> 00:10:05,274 Oh, my God! 225 00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:06,735 Chuck, you were born to drive that thing. 226 00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:07,987 What should we smash? 227 00:10:07,988 --> 00:10:09,406 Everything! 228 00:10:13,173 --> 00:10:15,244 Yeah! Whoo! 229 00:10:15,245 --> 00:10:16,579 No, God damn it! 230 00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:17,883 That's private property right there. 231 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:20,582 Get your greasy, grimy Montgomery paws off my truck! 232 00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:21,918 Well, sorry, Jesse. 233 00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:24,921 I mean, we just can't believe you still got it. 234 00:10:25,023 --> 00:10:27,275 We remember you smashing and crashing stuff 235 00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:28,611 just like it was yesterday. 236 00:10:28,612 --> 00:10:30,610 I bet she still purrs like a kitten. 237 00:10:30,611 --> 00:10:32,469 Don't you talk about that thing being a kitten! 238 00:10:32,470 --> 00:10:34,096 That's my monster truck. 239 00:10:34,097 --> 00:10:36,474 That's a five-ton wrecking machine, son. 240 00:10:36,475 --> 00:10:37,974 Get out before you break something. 241 00:10:37,975 --> 00:10:39,524 Take it easy, Jesse. 242 00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:40,894 Take it easy? Take it easy. 243 00:10:40,895 --> 00:10:44,047 - Got it, Chuck? - Take it easy, huh? 244 00:10:44,607 --> 00:10:47,402 Truck just brings back some fond memories. 245 00:10:47,403 --> 00:10:48,984 You ever take her out anymore? 246 00:10:48,985 --> 00:10:50,612 Ooh, I'd love that! 247 00:10:50,613 --> 00:10:51,947 Oh, please, Jesse? 248 00:10:51,948 --> 00:10:53,408 I never got a chance to drive it. 249 00:10:53,409 --> 00:10:55,409 And you never will, numb nuts. 250 00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:56,411 Just 'cause my daddy says 251 00:10:56,412 --> 00:10:57,952 it's cool for y'all to stay here 252 00:10:57,953 --> 00:10:59,455 doesn't mean we're gonna be cool cousins 253 00:10:59,456 --> 00:11:00,874 all now of a sudden. 254 00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:04,754 We ain't cool cousins, and we never will be again. 255 00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:07,383 You smell that? 256 00:11:07,384 --> 00:11:08,461 Yeah. 257 00:11:08,462 --> 00:11:10,299 You boys need to go shower off or wash. 258 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,344 I smelled your balls the second I rolled up 259 00:11:12,345 --> 00:11:13,596 in this motherfucker. 260 00:11:13,597 --> 00:11:15,637 Stink worse than my middle school locker. 261 00:11:15,638 --> 00:11:17,516 That's my boy right there. 262 00:11:18,723 --> 00:11:20,477 Go on and wash. 263 00:11:20,478 --> 00:11:21,771 The little one's mean. 264 00:11:21,772 --> 00:11:23,270 Yeah, you're damn right he's mean. 265 00:11:23,271 --> 00:11:24,731 That's my son. 266 00:11:24,821 --> 00:11:25,980 I make 'em mean. 267 00:11:25,981 --> 00:11:27,929 Mean-ass Gemstones. Damn. 268 00:11:27,930 --> 00:11:29,986 I don't know what it was like in the little barn or manger 269 00:11:29,987 --> 00:11:32,613 or whatever the fuck you were born in, but in this house, 270 00:11:32,614 --> 00:11:35,950 on this compound, we respect people's private properties, 271 00:11:35,951 --> 00:11:37,659 you greasy little animals. 272 00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,536 "Porn equals Satan." 273 00:11:39,545 --> 00:11:41,255 I like that one. 274 00:11:41,331 --> 00:11:44,383 These protest signs are tops. 275 00:11:45,293 --> 00:11:47,503 Peeps are gonna think twice, honestly. 276 00:11:52,342 --> 00:11:54,688 - Yo. - Hey, bud. 277 00:11:55,102 --> 00:11:57,133 Check it out, bro. 278 00:11:57,485 --> 00:11:59,682 I wiped out almost the entire inventory 279 00:11:59,683 --> 00:12:02,852 of bullets and butt buzzers and basically everything else 280 00:12:02,853 --> 00:12:05,145 at the adult emporium off the highway. 281 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,913 And I know you said that it wouldn't shut 'em down, 282 00:12:07,914 --> 00:12:09,983 but due to supply chain issues, 283 00:12:09,984 --> 00:12:13,141 they won't be able to restock for a while. 284 00:12:13,142 --> 00:12:15,644 Smart! Yes. 285 00:12:15,645 --> 00:12:18,856 Dang, I am missing out on all the fun lately. 286 00:12:19,077 --> 00:12:20,829 My cousins are in town. 287 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,081 Daddy's making me hang out with them. 288 00:12:23,246 --> 00:12:25,999 Now I've got to go to some stupid cousins' night. 289 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,212 Cousins' night. Very interesting. 290 00:12:29,295 --> 00:12:32,298 No, it's not. They are total weirdos. 291 00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:34,551 A complete lack of knowing 292 00:12:34,552 --> 00:12:36,093 how to fit in the world around them. 293 00:12:36,094 --> 00:12:38,774 God, they sound awkward. 294 00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:40,857 Shall I make my sausage dip? 295 00:12:40,972 --> 00:12:43,809 Those inbreds aren't worthy of your sausage dip. 296 00:12:45,185 --> 00:12:46,895 But, yeah, no, you should make it. 297 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,231 I'll put it in a special container 298 00:12:48,232 --> 00:12:50,566 that'll keep it warm, and you can carry it with you 299 00:12:50,567 --> 00:12:52,235 to the family event. 300 00:12:53,987 --> 00:12:55,780 Why don't you carry it with? 301 00:12:55,947 --> 00:12:57,698 Keefe, you have to come to cousins' night. 302 00:12:57,699 --> 00:12:59,409 Come on, come to cousins' night. 303 00:13:00,911 --> 00:13:02,495 I ain't a cousin, though. 304 00:13:02,496 --> 00:13:03,789 I know you're not a cousin. 305 00:13:03,790 --> 00:13:07,374 You're my... best dude friend 306 00:13:07,375 --> 00:13:09,391 of a cousin. 307 00:13:10,253 --> 00:13:13,172 Wow, never done a cousins' night before. 308 00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:16,217 Maybe I'll bring some flames and the swords. 309 00:13:16,342 --> 00:13:18,886 Yeah, totes, you should. 310 00:13:18,894 --> 00:13:21,196 But let's keep our expects in checks. 311 00:13:22,106 --> 00:13:24,859 My cousins are kind of diarrhea people. 312 00:13:29,272 --> 00:13:31,774 There is nothing that we take more seriously 313 00:13:31,775 --> 00:13:33,025 than our marriage. 314 00:13:33,026 --> 00:13:34,861 That's why I created The System, 315 00:13:34,862 --> 00:13:36,364 a program that you can use at home 316 00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:39,406 to help your marriage better honor Jesus Christ. 317 00:13:39,448 --> 00:13:42,493 Now, when I want to say something or do something 318 00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:45,129 that would reflect poorly in the eyes of our Lord, 319 00:13:45,246 --> 00:13:47,498 I take one of these gemstones 320 00:13:47,499 --> 00:13:50,797 and I'll plop it into this vase container. 321 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,294 Now I know that Jesse is trying. 322 00:13:53,295 --> 00:13:54,630 He almost said something hurtful, 323 00:13:54,631 --> 00:13:57,430 but instead, he let the gemstone do the talking. 324 00:13:57,615 --> 00:13:58,860 I love my wife. 325 00:13:58,861 --> 00:14:01,197 It's so simple. It works. 326 00:14:01,198 --> 00:14:04,056 Creating The System was a work of passion for me. 327 00:14:04,057 --> 00:14:05,809 What the fuck are you watching in here? 328 00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:06,892 Horror movies? 329 00:14:07,239 --> 00:14:08,894 No, The System. 330 00:14:08,895 --> 00:14:10,188 Amber dropped it off. 331 00:14:10,189 --> 00:14:13,105 I guess it's something she and Jesse made and sell. 332 00:14:13,106 --> 00:14:14,900 Good luck. 333 00:14:14,901 --> 00:14:16,696 Couples therapy of some sort. 334 00:14:17,444 --> 00:14:19,321 - And trust me... - Couples therapy? 335 00:14:19,322 --> 00:14:20,782 My wife spent a lot of time... 336 00:14:20,783 --> 00:14:22,159 No. 337 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,047 More time than I would have liked her to... 338 00:14:24,376 --> 00:14:25,961 Bitch. 339 00:14:25,974 --> 00:14:27,538 Yeah, at first, I was like, 340 00:14:27,539 --> 00:14:29,496 "Wait, Amber, do you know something I don't? 341 00:14:29,497 --> 00:14:31,204 Why do you think we need The System?" 342 00:14:31,205 --> 00:14:34,844 Exactly. This was, like, very fucking dumb of her. 343 00:14:35,338 --> 00:14:36,548 Bitch is trying to fuck with me. 344 00:14:36,549 --> 00:14:37,592 Well, how so? 345 00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:40,426 By pulling, like, junior high mean girl shit, BJ. 346 00:14:40,427 --> 00:14:42,220 Don't touch anything else in there, okay? 347 00:14:42,221 --> 00:14:44,388 All this stuff's poison. It's going back. 348 00:14:44,389 --> 00:14:46,016 Well, I don't think we should be rude. 349 00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:50,647 BJ, our marriage is solid. Okay? 350 00:14:50,648 --> 00:14:53,063 There's... there's nothing to work on here. 351 00:14:53,064 --> 00:14:56,344 So fuck The System, okay? 352 00:14:58,851 --> 00:15:00,612 And fuck Amber too! 353 00:15:05,369 --> 00:15:08,372 Now, every episode starts out the same. 354 00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:12,500 Old Baby Billy, he comes out like that. 355 00:15:12,501 --> 00:15:14,003 I make me some jokes. 356 00:15:14,119 --> 00:15:16,545 Current events. Hot styles. Nothing edgy. 357 00:15:16,546 --> 00:15:19,299 We're gonna keep it light so we don't limit our audience. 358 00:15:19,382 --> 00:15:22,927 And then I introduce two families. 359 00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:25,304 I banter with them, I do some chit-chat, 360 00:15:25,305 --> 00:15:27,057 maybe I kiss 'em on the cheek. 361 00:15:27,273 --> 00:15:29,649 And then one by one, they compete, 362 00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:32,528 doing trivias from the Bible. 363 00:15:32,696 --> 00:15:33,897 Bible. 364 00:15:33,898 --> 00:15:35,522 Sorry, buddy. 365 00:15:35,523 --> 00:15:37,626 Hey, buddy. 366 00:15:38,197 --> 00:15:39,363 This right here. 367 00:15:39,364 --> 00:15:41,641 Uncle Baby Billy, isn't this just exactly the pitch 368 00:15:41,642 --> 00:15:42,905 for "Family Feuds"? 369 00:15:42,906 --> 00:15:44,648 Yeah, did you run this past Daddy? 370 00:15:44,649 --> 00:15:46,241 Why I got to run this by Eli? 371 00:15:46,324 --> 00:15:48,410 Everybody knows y'all running shit, 372 00:15:48,411 --> 00:15:49,871 unless you ain't got purchase power 373 00:15:49,872 --> 00:15:51,040 or you can't pull the trigger. 374 00:15:51,041 --> 00:15:52,247 No, no, we got purchase power. 375 00:15:52,248 --> 00:15:53,364 We can pull triggers, homie. 376 00:15:53,374 --> 00:15:55,292 Then I suggest you pull the trigger 377 00:15:55,293 --> 00:15:57,414 on this here hit TV series. 378 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,921 Go on, take it off the market. 379 00:15:58,922 --> 00:16:00,610 It's exactly "Family Feuds." 380 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:02,132 It ain't no "Family Feud." 381 00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:04,890 This is "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 382 00:16:04,891 --> 00:16:06,095 "Bible Bonkers"? 383 00:16:06,096 --> 00:16:07,804 "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 384 00:16:07,805 --> 00:16:09,640 - "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." - "Baby Billy's Bible"... 385 00:16:09,641 --> 00:16:10,883 - Bible Bonkers. - Bible... 386 00:16:10,884 --> 00:16:12,851 - Bunker Baby's... - Baby Billy Bible Bonkers. 387 00:16:12,852 --> 00:16:14,104 Yeah, roll that around in your mouth. 388 00:16:14,105 --> 00:16:15,357 - That's fun, ain't it? - You know what? 389 00:16:15,358 --> 00:16:17,193 I already know how I'm gonna vote on this 390 00:16:17,194 --> 00:16:18,691 if we just want to end this meeting early. 391 00:16:18,692 --> 00:16:21,275 Plus, I got some stuff that I got to hash out with Jesse. 392 00:16:21,276 --> 00:16:22,444 The hell you got to hash out with me? 393 00:16:22,445 --> 00:16:24,280 What I got to hash out with you 394 00:16:24,281 --> 00:16:26,575 is you tattling on me to your damn Fembot. 395 00:16:26,576 --> 00:16:28,659 Oh, come on. You're mad 'cause I told Amber 396 00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:30,954 that you're having an affair with a man named Stephen? 397 00:16:30,955 --> 00:16:32,082 Affair? 398 00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:33,330 Stephen? Who the fuck is Stephen? 399 00:16:33,331 --> 00:16:35,083 Now you done told two more people. 400 00:16:35,084 --> 00:16:36,752 Jesse, fuck me, man! 401 00:16:36,753 --> 00:16:38,046 He told three. 402 00:16:38,169 --> 00:16:40,005 Lionel's here too now. He heard it. 403 00:16:40,006 --> 00:16:42,342 Look, can we please just concentrate on my pitch? 404 00:16:42,343 --> 00:16:43,511 Come on, now. 405 00:16:43,701 --> 00:16:46,829 I think my executive vote is no on "Bible Bonkers." 406 00:16:46,830 --> 00:16:47,830 I don't like it. 407 00:16:47,831 --> 00:16:49,805 Well, that's one thing I can agree with you on, 408 00:16:49,806 --> 00:16:50,806 you fucking tattletale. 409 00:16:50,807 --> 00:16:53,102 What, you really gonna say no to this concept? 410 00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:54,643 - Not today, Double B. - Nah, dog, this ain't it. 411 00:16:54,644 --> 00:16:56,271 Not on our network. This is not the kind of stuff 412 00:16:56,279 --> 00:16:58,740 - we put on our network. - Mm-mm. 413 00:16:58,741 --> 00:17:00,409 Y'all can't even see solid gold 414 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,026 when I'm shitting it right in front of you. 415 00:17:02,027 --> 00:17:03,862 Y'all just piss me off. 416 00:17:03,945 --> 00:17:06,156 No wonder your fucking numbers are down. 417 00:17:06,157 --> 00:17:09,161 You think you can ship me off to paradise, 418 00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:12,569 make me sing by a pool all motherfucking day, 419 00:17:12,579 --> 00:17:15,122 getting a suntan, drinking piña coladas for free, 420 00:17:15,123 --> 00:17:16,820 living in a penthouse? 421 00:17:16,821 --> 00:17:18,292 Huh? No. 422 00:17:18,293 --> 00:17:20,170 I'm a international-known talent. 423 00:17:20,253 --> 00:17:22,524 I deserve more than that. 424 00:17:22,846 --> 00:17:25,110 You haven't seen the last of me. 425 00:17:25,621 --> 00:17:26,675 I mean, you're our uncle. 426 00:17:26,676 --> 00:17:28,301 I'm assuming we're gonna hear from you again. 427 00:17:28,302 --> 00:17:30,391 You damn right you will. 428 00:17:32,932 --> 00:17:35,060 Let's go. Come on, Tiff. 429 00:17:35,143 --> 00:17:36,353 Okay. 430 00:17:36,354 --> 00:17:39,765 I'm just gonna leave this here for y'all to study. 431 00:17:39,766 --> 00:17:40,981 - You could take all this. - Take all that shit. 432 00:17:40,982 --> 00:17:42,665 We don't want it. 433 00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,985 Uh, you left your kid here. 434 00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:47,322 Oh! I'm sorry, baby. 435 00:17:48,992 --> 00:17:51,536 Bye, y'all. That was fun. 436 00:17:51,734 --> 00:17:53,285 - Love you, Aunt Tiffany. - Love you, baby. 437 00:17:53,286 --> 00:17:55,329 - Bye. - Bye. 438 00:17:55,412 --> 00:17:58,874 "Your people shall be my people. 439 00:17:58,883 --> 00:18:02,266 "And your God, my God. 440 00:18:02,836 --> 00:18:07,466 "And where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. 441 00:18:07,549 --> 00:18:10,469 "And may the Lord do so to me, and more also, 442 00:18:10,478 --> 00:18:14,524 if anything but death parts me from you." 443 00:18:14,598 --> 00:18:17,063 This week, let's think of Ruth, 444 00:18:17,609 --> 00:18:20,404 think of the commitment that we have made 445 00:18:20,438 --> 00:18:22,462 to the people that we love. 446 00:18:22,463 --> 00:18:25,567 Until next time, praise He. 447 00:18:25,568 --> 00:18:27,112 Praise He. 448 00:18:30,117 --> 00:18:31,577 Thank you. 449 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,704 Hey, ladies. Thank you. 450 00:18:46,227 --> 00:18:47,756 Excuse me. 451 00:18:47,757 --> 00:18:50,176 Sorry to interrupt your zombie bitches prayer group, 452 00:18:50,177 --> 00:18:52,679 but I brought something for your nosy ass. 453 00:18:55,347 --> 00:18:57,141 Oh, my word. 454 00:18:57,142 --> 00:18:59,144 Yeah, my word. 455 00:18:59,145 --> 00:19:00,939 Are you fucking dumb? 456 00:19:01,088 --> 00:19:03,007 Bringing a dang marriage counseling thing 457 00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:04,440 to my fucking house? 458 00:19:04,441 --> 00:19:07,027 I don't know what you think Jesse told you, 459 00:19:07,028 --> 00:19:09,906 but my conscience is clean, chick. 460 00:19:09,961 --> 00:19:11,989 This church needs a win, Judy. 461 00:19:12,072 --> 00:19:13,198 The decline is real. 462 00:19:13,199 --> 00:19:14,576 We need people to show up. 463 00:19:14,577 --> 00:19:16,705 We need people to believe in us. 464 00:19:16,784 --> 00:19:18,736 We do not need a scandal. 465 00:19:18,746 --> 00:19:21,364 - End the affair. - Dummy, I did end it. 466 00:19:21,365 --> 00:19:22,367 You did? 467 00:19:22,368 --> 00:19:25,253 Yes, told him to fuck off. 468 00:19:25,295 --> 00:19:26,962 I love BJ, okay? 469 00:19:26,963 --> 00:19:28,173 I gave him some money. 470 00:19:28,174 --> 00:19:29,714 Hopefully that'll make it kosher. 471 00:19:29,715 --> 00:19:30,883 Well, good. 472 00:19:30,884 --> 00:19:32,010 Then that's that. 473 00:19:32,011 --> 00:19:33,638 That is that, so you don't ever need 474 00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,095 to worry about it again. 475 00:19:35,096 --> 00:19:37,180 - Fuck off, Amber. - Fine. 476 00:19:37,422 --> 00:19:38,985 Fine. 477 00:19:39,976 --> 00:19:41,258 Coming to cousins' night? 478 00:19:41,259 --> 00:19:43,553 Duh. Daddy's making me. 479 00:19:47,984 --> 00:19:49,361 Oh. 480 00:19:49,485 --> 00:19:51,320 You boys got any plans tonight? 481 00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:54,282 Yeah, the cousins invited us out for a cousins' night. 482 00:19:54,324 --> 00:19:56,117 A cousins' night? 483 00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:57,459 Imagine that. 484 00:19:57,494 --> 00:19:58,953 I'm surprised they want to hang 485 00:19:58,954 --> 00:20:00,289 the way they've been acting. 486 00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:01,955 They don't seem to care for us at all. 487 00:20:01,956 --> 00:20:04,805 Well, they invited y'all on a cousins' night. 488 00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:06,169 Maybe they're trying. 489 00:20:06,252 --> 00:20:07,504 You know, we really appreciate 490 00:20:07,505 --> 00:20:09,633 you letting us stay here, Uncle Eli. 491 00:20:09,714 --> 00:20:12,258 I don't know where we'd go if it weren't for here. 492 00:20:12,259 --> 00:20:14,636 You could go live with your mama. 493 00:20:14,803 --> 00:20:18,223 I know she ain't perfect, but she does love you boys. 494 00:20:18,306 --> 00:20:20,183 Go live with Mama? 495 00:20:20,307 --> 00:20:21,350 I don't think there's room 496 00:20:21,351 --> 00:20:23,350 in that utility closet where she sleeps. 497 00:20:23,351 --> 00:20:25,437 Utility closet? 498 00:20:25,438 --> 00:20:27,857 Mama sleeps at the church. 499 00:20:40,713 --> 00:20:42,089 That's not hygienic. 500 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:44,212 There's, like, dead birds probably in there. 501 00:20:51,548 --> 00:20:53,216 You guys! Oh, nasty! 502 00:20:53,217 --> 00:20:55,509 Don't... hey! Don't drink that water, man. 503 00:20:55,510 --> 00:20:56,720 That pond is filthy. 504 00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,970 Hey, dummies, that's a trout pond. 505 00:20:59,971 --> 00:21:02,224 Nothing but stink slicks and dead trout. 506 00:21:02,225 --> 00:21:04,360 - The water's great! - Yeah! 507 00:21:04,361 --> 00:21:05,571 It's nice and crisp. 508 00:21:05,572 --> 00:21:06,739 Come on in! 509 00:21:06,938 --> 00:21:08,480 I feel like I'm up in the zoo right now 510 00:21:08,481 --> 00:21:10,356 watching the gorillas get washed. 511 00:21:10,357 --> 00:21:12,317 About to start throwing their poo at each other. 512 00:21:12,318 --> 00:21:14,236 Oh, holy smokes. 513 00:21:14,237 --> 00:21:16,031 What's Karl got cooking under his trunks? 514 00:21:16,032 --> 00:21:18,034 He's got tons of hairs. 515 00:21:18,035 --> 00:21:19,575 Looks like he got a chinchilla 516 00:21:19,576 --> 00:21:20,994 stuffed up in there. 517 00:21:20,995 --> 00:21:23,744 Y'all, look, that's your family out there, okay? 518 00:21:23,745 --> 00:21:25,080 Why don't you stop making fun of them 519 00:21:25,081 --> 00:21:26,416 and go converse with them? 520 00:21:26,417 --> 00:21:28,336 I don't know what to say to them weirdos. 521 00:21:28,337 --> 00:21:30,586 Why don't you go converse with them? 522 00:21:30,587 --> 00:21:32,255 Yeah, go hug them while they're wet. 523 00:21:35,051 --> 00:21:37,150 Well, well. 524 00:21:37,151 --> 00:21:38,969 Looks like everybody's getting loose. 525 00:21:38,970 --> 00:21:41,306 How come you not gon' tell us about cousins' night? 526 00:21:41,307 --> 00:21:42,765 Well, because y'all aren't invited. 527 00:21:42,766 --> 00:21:44,142 What the fuck are you doing here? 528 00:21:44,143 --> 00:21:46,560 Lionel's your cousin, dummy. 529 00:21:46,561 --> 00:21:48,104 How you not gonna invite your first cousin 530 00:21:48,105 --> 00:21:49,438 to cousins' night, huh? 531 00:21:49,439 --> 00:21:51,940 Cousins' night is about adult cousins, dog. 532 00:21:51,941 --> 00:21:54,736 - Ain't no babies. - Hey, Lionel's your cousin, 533 00:21:54,737 --> 00:21:56,905 and you will damn well treat him like one. 534 00:21:57,030 --> 00:21:59,866 I will not have baby Lionel miss out on proper cousinship 535 00:21:59,867 --> 00:22:01,327 just 'cause he's young. 536 00:22:01,533 --> 00:22:03,285 Now, we gon' do cousins' night now. 537 00:22:03,293 --> 00:22:05,235 Baby Lionel's eating dirt. 538 00:22:05,236 --> 00:22:07,998 Huh? 539 00:22:07,999 --> 00:22:10,585 Somebody's not gonna have any room left for barbecue. 540 00:23:23,908 --> 00:23:25,954 Don't you have any help for that? 541 00:23:27,378 --> 00:23:29,255 I don't rely on others. 542 00:23:29,330 --> 00:23:31,032 I do things for myself. 543 00:23:44,410 --> 00:23:46,412 Where do you live, May-May? 544 00:23:46,730 --> 00:23:49,733 Oh, the Lord takes care of me. 545 00:23:52,395 --> 00:23:54,384 Do you live here? 546 00:23:55,523 --> 00:23:57,066 I can't have you live like this. 547 00:23:57,067 --> 00:23:59,609 Oh, what, are you afraid of what the world will say 548 00:23:59,610 --> 00:24:01,904 if they found out Eli Gemstone lets his sister 549 00:24:01,905 --> 00:24:03,822 live in squalor? 550 00:24:04,238 --> 00:24:05,741 You never lifted a finger to help me. 551 00:24:05,742 --> 00:24:07,243 I ain't asking for it now. 552 00:24:07,244 --> 00:24:08,970 Come stay. 553 00:24:09,339 --> 00:24:11,633 You should be with your boys. 554 00:24:11,872 --> 00:24:14,583 Take a lot more than just time to heal those wounds. 555 00:24:17,045 --> 00:24:19,339 I'm surprised you care about that. 556 00:24:19,340 --> 00:24:21,740 Surprised I do too. 557 00:24:24,552 --> 00:24:25,762 You remember what we practiced? 558 00:24:25,763 --> 00:24:29,099 - Most of the parts. - Then let's go bonkers. 559 00:24:31,809 --> 00:24:34,645 So Judy tells me your lives might be in danger. 560 00:24:34,646 --> 00:24:36,773 - That's horrifying. - BJ! 561 00:24:36,897 --> 00:24:38,899 Don't be acting like I'm spilling beans. 562 00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:40,581 Well, I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to know 563 00:24:40,582 --> 00:24:42,000 y'all are wanted dead. 564 00:24:42,008 --> 00:24:44,845 Judy and I share everything with each other. 565 00:24:46,457 --> 00:24:48,767 Welcome to cousins' night! 566 00:24:49,051 --> 00:24:52,197 Now, tonight, you gon' get a special treat 567 00:24:52,198 --> 00:24:54,581 for cousins' night, because tonight, 568 00:24:54,582 --> 00:24:56,876 we are gonna do a live test run 569 00:24:56,877 --> 00:24:59,713 of "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 570 00:24:59,714 --> 00:25:01,922 No, we ain't. What the fuck is this? 571 00:25:01,923 --> 00:25:04,634 No, Baby Billy, we ain't doing this Bonkers bullshit. 572 00:25:04,635 --> 00:25:06,679 Come on, now, go with it. 573 00:25:06,844 --> 00:25:08,679 Now, you don't think this is a good idea for a show. 574 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,265 Well, you 'bout to see right here, 575 00:25:10,266 --> 00:25:11,893 'cause tonight's show, you in. 576 00:25:11,959 --> 00:25:15,087 Now let's welcome the Gemstone family 577 00:25:15,088 --> 00:25:17,423 versus the Montgomerys. 578 00:25:17,424 --> 00:25:19,063 Is this gonna be for the TV? 579 00:25:19,064 --> 00:25:20,816 Well, if it's good, it will be, yes. 580 00:25:20,817 --> 00:25:22,777 - Yeah. Let's, uh... - It's not. 581 00:25:22,778 --> 00:25:25,738 Here we go. Come here. Uh, you are? 582 00:25:25,739 --> 00:25:28,040 - Karl. - Karl Montgomery. 583 00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:30,197 And... and what... what do you do? 584 00:25:30,198 --> 00:25:32,525 - Lawn care. - Who-what? 585 00:25:32,526 --> 00:25:34,278 - Uh... - Landscaping. 586 00:25:34,538 --> 00:25:35,831 Oh, you mow grass. All right. 587 00:25:35,832 --> 00:25:37,333 - Yeah. - Good. Yeah. 588 00:25:37,334 --> 00:25:39,501 Who are you and what do you do? 589 00:25:39,502 --> 00:25:42,005 Chuck. I just work with my brother. 590 00:25:42,006 --> 00:25:43,925 All right. Uh-uh. 591 00:25:44,090 --> 00:25:47,728 Now we coming to the Gemstone side of the table. 592 00:25:48,052 --> 00:25:51,180 Okay, little weirdo boy with the puffy muscles, 593 00:25:51,181 --> 00:25:52,849 who are you? 594 00:25:53,015 --> 00:25:55,017 I'm Kelvin. We're not doing this, dude. 595 00:25:55,018 --> 00:25:57,181 Your shit sucks, Baby Billy. 596 00:25:57,182 --> 00:25:59,313 Hey, now, don't use that kind of language, Judy. 597 00:25:59,314 --> 00:26:01,236 This a family show, now. 598 00:26:01,759 --> 00:26:03,067 You ain't family. 599 00:26:03,068 --> 00:26:04,194 So what do you do? 600 00:26:04,275 --> 00:26:07,237 I run the motherfucking church, stud. 601 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,698 Running the church and running around. 602 00:26:09,699 --> 00:26:12,952 Ooh! 603 00:26:13,077 --> 00:26:14,745 Ooh! 604 00:26:14,746 --> 00:26:16,745 Uh, who are you? 605 00:26:16,746 --> 00:26:18,290 Look, when we're done with these introductions, 606 00:26:18,291 --> 00:26:19,832 can we just kill it, all right? 607 00:26:19,833 --> 00:26:21,418 This isn't really an appropriate time to be 608 00:26:21,419 --> 00:26:23,461 doing the damn holy moly show or whatever this is. 609 00:26:23,462 --> 00:26:25,089 Hey, this ain't no holy moly show. 610 00:26:25,090 --> 00:26:27,352 This is "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers." 611 00:26:27,353 --> 00:26:29,510 The two first-born from each family, 612 00:26:29,511 --> 00:26:30,886 y'all come up here in the middle. 613 00:26:30,887 --> 00:26:32,638 Come on, come up here in the middle. 614 00:26:32,639 --> 00:26:33,765 Come on, Jesse, let's go. You can count. 615 00:26:33,766 --> 00:26:35,724 Baby, just go. Shut him up. 616 00:26:35,725 --> 00:26:37,141 - Get him, big brother. - Let's go. 617 00:26:37,142 --> 00:26:38,560 Be a good sport. 618 00:26:38,561 --> 00:26:39,813 - Come on, baby. - It's so lame. 619 00:26:39,814 --> 00:26:41,397 All right, let's go. Right up here. Come on. 620 00:26:41,398 --> 00:26:42,524 Look, if I get the answers wrong, 621 00:26:42,525 --> 00:26:43,860 it doesn't matter because this isn't 622 00:26:43,861 --> 00:26:45,401 fucking real to begin with, okay? 623 00:26:45,402 --> 00:26:47,737 Just get up there and beat his fucking ass, Jesse. 624 00:26:47,738 --> 00:26:48,778 Let's go, Jesse. 625 00:26:48,779 --> 00:26:50,614 You got this. 626 00:26:50,615 --> 00:26:52,450 Hit it, Tiff. 627 00:27:13,844 --> 00:27:16,015 Great job, Tiff. All right. First question. Here we go now. 628 00:27:16,016 --> 00:27:17,640 - How do we buzz in? - Hey. 629 00:27:17,641 --> 00:27:19,059 Yeah, these buzzers aren't even real. 630 00:27:19,060 --> 00:27:20,810 I mean, this is stupid. What the hell are we doing? 631 00:27:20,811 --> 00:27:22,438 Don't be saying, "What are we doing?" 632 00:27:22,439 --> 00:27:24,816 Just buzz in with your fucking mouth. 633 00:27:24,906 --> 00:27:27,181 I'm sorry, there will be no cursing on this program. 634 00:27:27,182 --> 00:27:28,642 First question, now. 635 00:27:28,959 --> 00:27:33,485 Who got Joseph thrown into prison by lying about him? 636 00:27:33,486 --> 00:27:35,451 Potiphar's wife! 637 00:27:35,452 --> 00:27:37,149 Potiphar's wife is correct. 638 00:27:37,150 --> 00:27:39,283 Damn, we got to do a tiebreaker. 639 00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:40,702 Second question. 640 00:27:40,915 --> 00:27:44,793 Who else was in prison with Joseph? 641 00:27:46,296 --> 00:27:49,423 The Pharaoh's cupbearer and his... butler. 642 00:27:49,424 --> 00:27:50,966 - Wrong! - Mm-mm. 643 00:27:51,050 --> 00:27:52,760 Montgomery's chance to steal. 644 00:27:52,761 --> 00:27:54,803 Fuck. That was an easy one, Jesse. 645 00:27:54,804 --> 00:27:55,846 Damn it. 646 00:27:55,847 --> 00:27:58,557 Pharaoh's cupbearer and chief baker. 647 00:27:58,558 --> 00:27:59,822 Correct. 648 00:27:59,823 --> 00:28:01,314 - Montgomerys have the lead. - Whoo! 649 00:28:01,315 --> 00:28:02,853 No, they don't have the lead. 650 00:28:02,854 --> 00:28:04,272 Don't cheat, Jesse. 651 00:28:04,273 --> 00:28:06,400 I know that must be tough for you Gemstones. 652 00:28:06,401 --> 00:28:08,069 I'm not! You know what? 653 00:28:08,070 --> 00:28:09,734 The Montgomerys don't have the lead. 654 00:28:09,735 --> 00:28:11,320 I'm not playing this game anymore. 655 00:28:11,321 --> 00:28:13,490 I don't like fucking Bible Bunkers Babies! 656 00:28:13,491 --> 00:28:14,823 I'm not doing this! 657 00:28:14,824 --> 00:28:16,993 Game over. Shut it down. 658 00:28:16,994 --> 00:28:19,997 You still the same old spoiled, sore sport 659 00:28:19,998 --> 00:28:21,830 you were when we were kids. 660 00:28:21,831 --> 00:28:23,458 Hey, can you do me a favor, Chuck? 661 00:28:23,459 --> 00:28:24,793 Why don't you go fuck yourself, okay, 662 00:28:24,794 --> 00:28:27,255 and then go find a family that actually cares about you, 663 00:28:27,256 --> 00:28:29,267 you fucking Montgomery. 664 00:28:29,839 --> 00:28:33,175 Well, I'd rather be a Montgomery than a Gemstone. 665 00:28:33,176 --> 00:28:34,844 I thought it was just your mommy and daddy 666 00:28:34,845 --> 00:28:36,847 that didn't care about others, but the nuts don't fall 667 00:28:36,848 --> 00:28:38,472 too far from the tree. 668 00:28:38,473 --> 00:28:41,599 Hey, yo, you'd better watch what you say about our mama. 669 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,310 Take a seat, Judy Gemstone. 670 00:28:43,311 --> 00:28:45,188 The menfolk are talking, and those kind of chime-ins 671 00:28:45,189 --> 00:28:46,441 are not appropriate. 672 00:28:46,442 --> 00:28:48,691 Judy, keep your earrings on, girl. 673 00:28:48,692 --> 00:28:50,142 Why is she taking them earrings off? 674 00:28:50,143 --> 00:28:51,944 'Cause we finna fight, boy. 675 00:28:51,945 --> 00:28:53,571 Please, Judy, no, don't fight. 676 00:28:53,572 --> 00:28:55,103 No, there ain't gonna be no fight. 677 00:28:55,104 --> 00:28:57,324 There's just gonna be a 187. 678 00:28:57,325 --> 00:29:00,495 I'll cut you from fucking stem to sternum, you bitch. 679 00:29:00,496 --> 00:29:01,870 - Oh. - Come on, I'll kill you. 680 00:29:01,871 --> 00:29:03,748 - Stick him, Jesse. - I got a knife too. 681 00:29:03,749 --> 00:29:06,251 - Oh, my Lord. - Y'all play too much now. 682 00:29:08,211 --> 00:29:10,129 Jesse Gemstone, you put that knife away. 683 00:29:10,130 --> 00:29:11,965 I'll put my knife away when he puts his knife away. 684 00:29:11,966 --> 00:29:13,259 Well, I ain't putting my knife away 685 00:29:13,260 --> 00:29:14,511 unless he puts his knife away. 686 00:29:14,512 --> 00:29:15,718 Well, then I guess we're keeping 687 00:29:15,719 --> 00:29:17,947 the fucking knives out! 688 00:29:18,394 --> 00:29:20,014 You just gonna circle each other, 689 00:29:20,015 --> 00:29:21,558 or someone's gonna do a stabbing? 690 00:29:21,559 --> 00:29:22,810 Get your... bitch. 691 00:29:22,811 --> 00:29:24,226 You big bitch. 692 00:29:24,227 --> 00:29:26,377 Oh, my God. Guys, he's choking. 693 00:29:26,797 --> 00:29:28,729 No, not him. Him! 694 00:29:30,245 --> 00:29:31,984 - Karl? - Oh. 695 00:29:31,985 --> 00:29:33,737 - Karl? - Spit it out. 696 00:29:33,738 --> 00:29:35,570 Come on, Karl. Come on. 697 00:29:35,571 --> 00:29:36,697 Spit it out, Karl! 698 00:29:36,698 --> 00:29:37,741 - Spit it out! - Hit him! 699 00:29:37,742 --> 00:29:38,866 Hit him harder! 700 00:29:38,867 --> 00:29:40,611 Karl, come on, Karl! 701 00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:42,786 - Heimlich his ass! - Lick his what? 702 00:29:42,787 --> 00:29:44,414 Hurry up! He can't breathe! 703 00:29:44,415 --> 00:29:46,000 - Guys, he don't look so good. - Oh, my God. 704 00:29:46,001 --> 00:29:47,345 I can't get my arms around him. 705 00:29:47,346 --> 00:29:48,399 He's too big. 706 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,752 Jesse, bend him over the table! 707 00:29:51,461 --> 00:29:53,922 - Karl, don't die! - Get him! Ram him! 708 00:29:53,923 --> 00:29:56,217 - Ah! - Yes! 709 00:29:56,218 --> 00:29:58,594 Come on, he's gonna die! 710 00:29:58,595 --> 00:29:59,929 He can't breathe! 711 00:29:59,930 --> 00:30:01,221 We got to do it at the same time! 712 00:30:01,222 --> 00:30:02,724 - Okay! - On... on... on three! 713 00:30:02,725 --> 00:30:05,351 Three, two, one! 714 00:30:08,232 --> 00:30:09,480 - Karl? - BJ. 715 00:30:09,481 --> 00:30:11,566 Karl? 716 00:30:11,608 --> 00:30:13,205 Oh! 717 00:30:13,737 --> 00:30:16,904 - Are you okay? - Uh... 718 00:30:16,905 --> 00:30:18,865 Chuck, I was so scared. 719 00:30:18,866 --> 00:30:20,345 I couldn't breathe. 720 00:30:20,346 --> 00:30:22,242 That's why we're always saying, 721 00:30:22,243 --> 00:30:23,411 "Chew your food." 722 00:30:23,412 --> 00:30:25,579 - I'm sorry, Chucky. - It's okay, buddy. 723 00:30:25,580 --> 00:30:27,290 I'm sorry. I won't do it again. 724 00:30:27,291 --> 00:30:28,665 You're okay now. 725 00:30:47,925 --> 00:30:49,019 Hey! 726 00:30:49,020 --> 00:30:51,270 - Cousins. - Hey. 727 00:30:51,646 --> 00:30:53,148 Hey. 728 00:30:53,149 --> 00:30:56,236 It was nice hanging out with y'all tonight, cousins. 729 00:30:56,237 --> 00:30:59,282 And... and no one thinks less of you because you choked, 730 00:30:59,283 --> 00:31:00,645 Big Karl. 731 00:31:00,646 --> 00:31:02,241 - Thanks, guys. - Where y'all going? 732 00:31:02,242 --> 00:31:03,866 Just walking back to our daddy's? 733 00:31:03,867 --> 00:31:05,869 We ain't got nowhere else to go. 734 00:31:05,870 --> 00:31:08,248 Well, let me give you a ride. 735 00:31:10,492 --> 00:31:12,202 Okay. 736 00:31:12,230 --> 00:31:14,028 Cool. 737 00:31:17,056 --> 00:31:20,226 I think it's a great idea even if nobody else does. 738 00:31:20,227 --> 00:31:23,981 Oh, I appreciate the support, baby. 739 00:31:24,146 --> 00:31:26,106 But they gon' buy "Bible Bonkers" now. 740 00:31:26,182 --> 00:31:29,185 There will come a payday. 741 00:31:29,186 --> 00:31:31,309 Lionel's asleep in the back. 742 00:31:31,766 --> 00:31:34,185 You think maybe I can get some ass? 743 00:31:35,951 --> 00:31:38,119 There's a road right up here. 744 00:31:38,236 --> 00:31:41,281 Can we get some waffles after we get some ass? 745 00:31:41,282 --> 00:31:43,368 You bet we can. 746 00:31:43,369 --> 00:31:45,079 ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 747 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:46,702 ♪ Heaven's glory shared ♪ 748 00:31:46,703 --> 00:31:49,204 I smelled the meat that came out of your cousin. 749 00:31:49,205 --> 00:31:50,999 It wasn't the sausage dip that choked him. 750 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,356 It... it was poultry. 751 00:31:53,357 --> 00:31:54,900 Gross, Keefe. 752 00:31:55,253 --> 00:31:59,006 And no, I didn't think it was your sausage dip. 753 00:31:59,007 --> 00:32:01,489 That stuff's too good. 754 00:32:01,989 --> 00:32:05,158 And your fire dance was lit. 755 00:32:05,270 --> 00:32:07,647 Easily the best part of 'tis eve. 756 00:32:09,887 --> 00:32:12,389 You never disappoint. 757 00:32:12,517 --> 00:32:14,313 Good eye tonight, Beej. 758 00:32:14,314 --> 00:32:17,650 Helped save cousin Karl's life, you dang hero. 759 00:32:17,774 --> 00:32:19,109 I'm not a hero. 760 00:32:19,110 --> 00:32:20,737 I'm an optometrist. 761 00:32:20,738 --> 00:32:22,281 We see everything. 762 00:32:22,413 --> 00:32:24,552 Okay. 763 00:32:24,822 --> 00:32:26,824 - Come here. - Oh. 764 00:32:26,837 --> 00:32:28,077 ♪ Getting a hug ♪ 765 00:32:28,086 --> 00:32:30,254 ♪ From my beautiful wife ♪ 766 00:32:30,255 --> 00:32:35,510 ♪ We're gonna be having hot sex tonight ♪ 767 00:32:35,511 --> 00:32:38,059 Oh, this feels so good. 768 00:32:44,414 --> 00:32:46,095 ♪ Listen to the songs of the fathers ♪ 769 00:32:46,096 --> 00:32:47,597 ♪ And the mothers and the many friends ♪ 770 00:32:47,598 --> 00:32:50,017 ♪ Gone on before, turn the radio on ♪ 771 00:32:50,018 --> 00:32:52,137 - ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ 772 00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:53,390 ♪ Turn the radio on ♪ 773 00:32:53,391 --> 00:32:55,518 ♪ Some eternal morning, we shall meet them ♪ 774 00:32:55,519 --> 00:32:57,855 ♪ Over on the hallelujah shore ♪ 775 00:32:57,856 --> 00:32:59,317 Yeah, get that spot over there. 776 00:32:59,318 --> 00:33:01,110 - Yes, ma'am - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 777 00:33:01,111 --> 00:33:04,322 - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 778 00:33:04,323 --> 00:33:06,366 ♪ And listen to the music in the air ♪ 779 00:33:06,367 --> 00:33:08,701 - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ - ♪ Turn your radio on ♪ 780 00:33:19,213 --> 00:33:21,957 ♪ Turn your radio ♪ 781 00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:25,462 ♪ On ♪ 782 00:33:29,277 --> 00:33:34,277 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 55811

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