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1
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Starring... as Gomer Pyle.
2
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:22,721
Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.
3
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,823
♪ ♪
4
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"Seattle World's Fair."
5
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"Seattle World's Fair."
6
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Memories, memories.
7
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,023
Hey, Sergeant.
8
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,424
Something wrong with your car?
9
00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:02,060
Huh? Oh, no, I'm just
giving her a last cleaning out
10
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,129
before saying good-bye.
11
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:08,717
Pyle... See this
old rubber horse?
12
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:12,738
Try and imagine it blown
up with Bunny laying across it
13
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,974
and me pushing her
around San Diego Bay
14
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,088
waving good-bye to the fleet.
15
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:21,480
Yeah, that's when we were young.
16
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,624
Pyle, look at this basket.
17
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:31,556
Boy, I wish I had a dime
for every picnic lunch
18
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,024
Bunny packed in this.
19
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,006
Get rid of this, will ya, Pyle.
20
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,296
What is it, Sergeant?
21
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,810
Never mind, just throw it away.
22
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,368
Sergeant, did I hear you
say you was cleaning her out
23
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,537
just before saying good-bye?
24
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,673
Yep. As of today,
the old bus and I
25
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:51,276
have driven our
last mile together.
26
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:54,112
From here on in, it'll
be somebody else's foot
27
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,947
on the accelerator.
28
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:57,815
I don't understand, Sergeant.
29
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,384
I'm selling it, Pyle.
30
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:01,019
Selling it to Sergeant Hacker.
31
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:04,623
Boy, if this old
car could only talk.
32
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:08,860
All them drives Bunny and
me took along the ocean.
33
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:11,163
Them hot days on the beach
34
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:14,199
when we used to crawl
under it to get out of the sun.
35
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,800
And the nights...
36
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:18,570
we used to park up
on Lover's Lookout.
37
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:21,072
I remember once
when the horn got stuck
38
00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:22,869
and they almost
pushed us off the cliff.
39
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:29,063
Yeah, the old bus could write
a bestseller, that's for sure.
40
00:02:29,099 --> 00:02:30,799
With all those pleasant
memories, Sergeant,
41
00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:32,233
why are you selling her?
42
00:02:32,269 --> 00:02:33,747
It's costing me, Pyle.
43
00:02:33,771 --> 00:02:34,981
You know cars.
44
00:02:35,005 --> 00:02:36,649
They reach a certain
age and... whamo...
45
00:02:36,673 --> 00:02:39,085
You got to be a millionaire to
keep them in gasoline alone.
46
00:02:39,109 --> 00:02:41,142
You mean you ain't
getting good gas mileage?
47
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:44,062
12 miles to the
gallon... 12 miles.
48
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,430
I can't afford it.
49
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:48,333
Not an old car and a girl
that eats like Bunny both.
50
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:51,169
Sergeant, golly, if it's just
as question of gas mileage,
51
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,338
I'd be glad to look at
your carburetor for you.
52
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,840
Oh, no thanks, Pyle.
53
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,175
Whatever it needs, let
Hacker worry about it.
54
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,177
Me, I'll just take the 250 bucks
55
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:02,113
and I'll look around
for a small... $250?
56
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,982
Is that all?
57
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,396
Golly, Sergeant, I sure wished
I'd known you was selling her.
58
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,297
I'd have bought it
from you in a second.
59
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,755
You?
60
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,434
Sure, what with
me going into town
61
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,102
to see Lou-Ann every free night.
62
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,804
Why, I figure I could buy a car
63
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,173
just from the savings
of the bus fare alone.
64
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,663
Yeah.
65
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,299
Well, I wish you'd
told me, Pyle.
66
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,268
I'm afraid Sergeant
Hacker beat you to it.
67
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,270
Now, if you don't mind,
68
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:28,239
I do believe you're keeping
your wheelbarrow waiting.
69
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,642
Well, I'll see you tonight
at the bus stop, Sergeant.
70
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:34,078
Hey, Sergeant, if I get
there before you do tonight,
71
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,448
you want me to save you a seat?
72
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:37,994
That way, if it
gets real crowded,
73
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,313
you wouldn't have to sit over
the back wheels or anything.
74
00:03:40,337 --> 00:03:41,669
No thanks, Pyle.
75
00:03:41,705 --> 00:03:44,772
Sergeant Hacker's
going to give me a ride in.
76
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,709
Hey, Vince, take it
easy on my trunk, huh?
77
00:03:47,744 --> 00:03:49,177
You got the dough?
78
00:03:49,213 --> 00:03:51,179
All set, pal, right here.
79
00:03:51,215 --> 00:03:57,219
One, two, three, four,
five, five is ten, ten is 20.
80
00:03:57,254 --> 00:03:59,199
What this? Where's the rest?
81
00:03:59,223 --> 00:04:00,922
Uh, well, it's coming.
82
00:04:00,958 --> 00:04:02,657
Okay, kick in.
83
00:04:02,692 --> 00:04:04,893
Well, look, Vince, I
don't have it all right now,
84
00:04:04,928 --> 00:04:06,561
but I'll pay you the
rest, don't worry.
85
00:04:06,596 --> 00:04:07,829
At ten bucks a week.
86
00:04:07,865 --> 00:04:09,809
Oh, no. No, you don't, Hacker.
87
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,711
Nobody said anything
about buying on time.
88
00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:14,147
You want the car... it's
cash on the barrel top.
89
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,737
But, Vince, you didn't say that.
90
00:04:15,773 --> 00:04:16,916
Well, I'm saying it now.
91
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:18,540
No $250, no deal.
92
00:04:18,575 --> 00:04:19,724
But, Vince, wait a minute.
93
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,838
I ain't got a minute,
seeing as how I'm keeping
94
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:24,422
a legitimate cash
customer waiting.
95
00:04:34,224 --> 00:04:35,623
Hey, Pyle.
96
00:04:35,659 --> 00:04:37,091
Oh, hey, Sergeant.
97
00:04:37,126 --> 00:04:39,461
Pyle, are you still
interested in buying my car?
98
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,874
Sure, but I thought you
said Sergeant Hacker...
99
00:04:41,898 --> 00:04:43,631
No, he ain't buying it.
100
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,767
You got the cash,
the car is all yours.
101
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,753
Shazam!
102
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,166
Well, I sure do want it.
103
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,790
Good. And you're
sure you got the cash?
104
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,003
All I got to do is
go over to the bank
105
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,939
during noon chow, if
that's all right with you.
106
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,963
Oh, yeah, fine, Pyle.
That'll be just fine.
107
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,664
Oh, uh, one more thing, Pyle.
108
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,399
It's usually not a good idea
109
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,601
to sell a car to
anybody you know
110
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,203
in case something
goes wrong with it.
111
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,782
I mean, you know
about the rotten mileage,
112
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,222
so don't blame me.
113
00:05:08,258 --> 00:05:10,502
Oh, I know, Sergeant, but maybe
I can do something about that.
114
00:05:10,526 --> 00:05:12,072
I'll take a look
at the carburetor.
115
00:05:12,096 --> 00:05:13,228
Sure, sure.
116
00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:15,464
Well, see you at noon chow.
117
00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:17,410
And you will have
the cash, right?
118
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,715
Oh, you bet, Sergeant,
I'll have the money for you.
119
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,989
Shazam!
120
00:05:37,621 --> 00:05:39,654
Hey, Pyle.
121
00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:41,756
Hey, Sergeant Hacker, Corporal.
122
00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:42,869
Guess what? What?
123
00:05:42,893 --> 00:05:44,403
This car you
didn't want... Yeah?
124
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,476
I'm buying it.
125
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,478
You are?!
126
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,296
Just as soon as I
go over the the bank.
127
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,615
I'm sure glad you
decided not to buy it.
128
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:51,933
It really was my lucky day.
129
00:05:51,969 --> 00:05:53,768
Well, I'll see ya.
130
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,973
How do you like that guy?
131
00:05:58,008 --> 00:06:00,275
Sold his car right
out from under me.
132
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,055
I guess Gomer had the cash.
133
00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:03,445
Yeah, well, don't worry...
134
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,046
I'll take care of that Carter.
135
00:06:05,082 --> 00:06:06,781
I'll fix that welsher, but good.
136
00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:27,502
Now?
137
00:06:27,538 --> 00:06:29,882
No. If I know Pyle,
he's just going in
138
00:06:29,906 --> 00:06:32,452
to tell Carter
how great it runs.
139
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,988
Excuse me, Sergeant,
you got a minute?
140
00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:36,322
What's the problem, Pyle?
141
00:06:36,346 --> 00:06:38,546
It's no problem. It's
no problem at all.
142
00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:41,316
I just wanted to tell you how
nice the car's been running.
143
00:06:41,351 --> 00:06:43,952
Fact is, I don't see how a
car could run much better.
144
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,319
Yeah, well, that's nice.
145
00:06:45,355 --> 00:06:47,384
Now go get some sleep,
will ya? Right, Sergeant.
146
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,140
I just wanted to check in.
147
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,077
And thank you, Sergeant.
148
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,413
Thank you for making this
149
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:57,081
one of the most
thrilling days of my life.
150
00:07:09,046 --> 00:07:10,795
Okay, now.
151
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,634
I'd sure like to know what
you're going to prove, Sarge.
152
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,069
Shh, hold it down.
153
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,550
Boy, this is going to shake
up old Vince pretty good.
154
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,989
Okay, pour it in.
155
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,392
You've heard of gas-lighting
somebody, haven't you?
156
00:07:24,427 --> 00:07:27,411
Well, we're about to gas tank
Carter right out of his skull.
157
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,697
But it ain't Carter's
car anymore, It's Pyle's.
158
00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:32,434
Wait... wait till Carter
hears the mileage
159
00:07:32,469 --> 00:07:34,514
that Pyle thinks he's getting.
160
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,303
Keep pouring.
161
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,628
Hey, Pyle.
162
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,563
Wait a minute, wait up.
163
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,065
You driving into town?
164
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,566
Oh, sure, Sergeant.
165
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,213
You mind if I ride
along with you?
166
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,204
Well, of course not.
167
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,771
It'd be my pleasure.
168
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,985
Hey, the car really looks good.
169
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,342
What did you do?
170
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,122
Oh, just a wax cleaner is all.
171
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,324
After I stripped
all the old wax off,
172
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,949
the paint job wasn't half
as dull as I thought it'd be.
173
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,568
Yeah, well, it
really looks good.
174
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,439
Hey, don't forget to fill 'er
up before you leave the base.
175
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:12,724
I already did that, Sergeant,
176
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,126
last night before I took
her out for a test run.
177
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,339
How far did you go?
178
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,374
Oh, I must have drove
up and down the coast road
179
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,530
a couple of times.
180
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,311
Couldn't have been
more than 70, 75 miles.
181
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,401
Yeah, well, I guess
we got enough
182
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:25,637
to get us into town, all right.
183
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,216
We got more than that, Sergeant.
184
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,951
Gas gauge is right on full.
185
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,642
Huh?
186
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,210
Well, it must be
stuck or something.
187
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,178
I'm telling you, you're
gonna have to gas up
188
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,597
when you hit town for sure.
189
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,334
I'm sorry about the
gas gauge, Pyle.
190
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,970
You know I would have
mentioned it if I'd known about it.
191
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,616
There's no need to
apologize, Sergeant.
192
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,440
I'm sure it ain't stuck.
193
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,653
See, the gauge is
down just a little bit.
194
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,512
I hate to be a killjoy,
Pyle, but I know this car.
195
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,681
It should be riding
on empty by now.
196
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,083
Yes, sir.
197
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,185
Fill it up, please. Yes, sir.
198
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,854
Well, one way or another,
I don't mind telling you,
199
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,939
I'm happy I don't
have to worry about it.
200
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:22,510
Yes, sir, my one big
problem in life now
201
00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:24,257
is figuring out
what I'm going to do
202
00:09:24,281 --> 00:09:26,125
with all the money
I'm saving on gas.
203
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,960
Excuse me, Sergeant.
204
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,117
What's that?
205
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,097
Oh, this is my car diary.
206
00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:34,033
I like to keep a record of
things like gas mileage and all.
207
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:36,457
Okay, Pyle. Just as
long as you keep smiling.
208
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,160
That'll be 64 cents.
209
00:09:39,195 --> 00:09:40,662
64 cents?
210
00:09:40,697 --> 00:09:42,930
Two gallons on the
button. That's all she'd take.
211
00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:44,132
That's all?
212
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,478
Did you hear that, Sergeant?
213
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,648
The gauge ain't broke after all.
214
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:52,318
Let's see... 76 miles...
and two gallons...
215
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,809
Shazam!
216
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,055
Sergeant, you ain't
gonna believe this,
217
00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,857
but I'm getting 38
miles to the gallon.
218
00:09:57,881 --> 00:09:58,930
Can you imagine that?
219
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,798
38 miles.
220
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,367
That's impossible.
221
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,318
How can you get 38?
222
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,854
I don't know, but there it is.
223
00:10:05,889 --> 00:10:07,784
You double-check it, but
I'm sure I got my figures right.
224
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,909
Yeah. What'd you do?
225
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,589
You do something to
it, like the carburetor?
226
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:16,163
No, all I done was turn the
carburetor set screw one time.
227
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,532
And you got 38.
228
00:10:18,568 --> 00:10:20,367
That's impossible.
229
00:10:20,403 --> 00:10:22,837
How could that be?
How could that be?!
230
00:10:27,477 --> 00:10:29,177
Yeah.
231
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,897
Hey, Sergeant, may I come in?
232
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,699
What's up, Pyle?
233
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,367
Sergeant, guess
what? Guess what?
234
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,803
I just had to come
and tell you right away.
235
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,271
It's about my car.
236
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,208
I just had it filled up with
gas again, and guess what?
237
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,288
You're right back down
to 12 miles a gallon?
238
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,778
No, Sergeant, I'm up to 45.
239
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,513
45?!
240
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,127
Pyle, you got to be kidding.
241
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,151
No, Sergeant.
242
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,484
I knew you wouldn't believe me,
243
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,186
so I had them
make out a receipt.
244
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,322
See there? 32 cents.
245
00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:00,458
Why, that car's costing
me practically nothing to run.
246
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,961
Yeah.
247
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,129
Yeah...
248
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,852
Did I say something, Sergeant?
249
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,320
Are you mad at me?
250
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,771
Not you, Pyle.
251
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:15,473
I'm mad at myself.
252
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,108
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
253
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:18,509
That's me!
254
00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:21,412
All hindsight, no front sight.
255
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,982
I don't follow you, Sergeant.
256
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,649
Forget it, Pyle.
257
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,652
The fact is, it's a lot tougher
258
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,867
being without a car
than I ever dreamed.
259
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,623
It is?
260
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:35,204
Well, not for me
personally, mind you.
261
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,178
It's Bunny, poor kid.
262
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,797
Boy, I never dreamed bus fumes
263
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:42,244
could hit a person like that.
264
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,436
All through the movie
she was toxic, Pyle, toxic.
265
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,404
Golly.
266
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,484
And the blisters on her feet.
267
00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:52,977
It just kills me to have to
make her walk everywhere.
268
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,824
Like the other night
on the way home
269
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,580
from the chiropodist,
270
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,978
I had to carry her
almost the whole way.
271
00:11:59,002 --> 00:12:01,402
That's terrible, Sergeant.
272
00:12:01,437 --> 00:12:03,237
Boy, that's rich, ain't it?
273
00:12:03,272 --> 00:12:06,808
Here I sell you the car
because I can't afford it,
274
00:12:06,843 --> 00:12:10,077
and all of a sudden I'm pouring
twice as much money down the drain
275
00:12:10,113 --> 00:12:11,379
on door-to-door cab fares.
276
00:12:11,414 --> 00:12:12,914
But, Sergeant...
277
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,216
Listen, why should I
stand here boring you, huh?
278
00:12:15,251 --> 00:12:17,351
A deal is a deal, right?
279
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:18,965
I mean, it's my own fault
280
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,917
that I didn't look
before I leaped.
281
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,607
Not that I can explain
that to Bunny's feet.
282
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,876
Sergeant, you don't
have to say another word.
283
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,946
What do you mean?
284
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,915
Sergeant, do you want me
to sell you back your car?
285
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,516
Oh, no.
286
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,818
No, I couldn't.
287
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:35,398
I couldn't do that to you, Pyle.
288
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,755
But, Sergeant...
Pyle, a deal is a deal.
289
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:41,559
But really... Pyle, I sold
you the car, and that's it.
290
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,034
Pyle, wait a minute!
291
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,048
Hey, hey, Pyle!
292
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:05,883
How's the old car running?
293
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:07,218
Oh, just fine, Sergeant.
294
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,753
Only it ain't mine anymore.
295
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,321
You're kidding!
What do you mean?
296
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:13,269
Whose is it? I just sold it
back to Sergeant Carter.
297
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,525
Well, how come?
298
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,072
I thought you were
in love with this thing.
299
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,107
Well, actually, it was
more for Miss Bunny's sake,
300
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,526
seeing how her health
was suffering. Her health?
301
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,428
Uh-huh. The poor
thing was getting sick
302
00:13:22,452 --> 00:13:24,530
riding buses and
walking, and the sergeant
303
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,399
needed the car
more than he realized.
304
00:13:26,423 --> 00:13:29,089
Yeah. Well, your sergeant is
one considerate guy, all right.
305
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:31,992
I mean, how many guys would
go against their better judgment
306
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,595
just for the sake
of a girl, I ask you.
307
00:13:34,631 --> 00:13:36,174
Well, that's the
sergeant, all right.
308
00:13:36,198 --> 00:13:38,711
And the, uh, car belongs
to him again, right?
309
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,635
As of this very minute.
310
00:13:45,842 --> 00:13:48,004
Welcome to step number two.
311
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,872
Now that Carter
owns the car again,
312
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,662
we start siphoning the gas out.
313
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,398
Pyle, what's the
matter with you?
314
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,133
You want to get yourself killed?
315
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,279
Well, hey, Sergeant.
316
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,682
I just missed my bus,
and I was just wondering
317
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:35,584
If I was going into town.
If you was going into town.
318
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,908
Just like old times, huh?
319
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:40,144
Okay, Pyle, I guess that's
the least I could do for you.
320
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,391
Well, thank you, Sergeant,
I sure appreciate it.
321
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,464
Don't mention it.
322
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,910
I guess Miss Bunny
was really glad
323
00:14:44,934 --> 00:14:46,350
you got the car back for her.
324
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,518
Huh?
325
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,971
Oh, yeah, real glad.
326
00:14:50,006 --> 00:14:51,868
I guess you know
you need some gas.
327
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,819
Huh? The needle... it's
setting right on empty.
328
00:14:53,843 --> 00:14:55,059
Wait a minute, Pyle,
329
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,462
didn't you say you
had a full tank last night
330
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,880
when you gave me the keys?
331
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,442
Yeah, Sergeant... It
couldn't have been down
332
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,411
more than a couple
of gallons at the most.
333
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,568
Yeah, that's what I thought.
334
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:07,504
All I did was drive over to
Harry's Roadside Rest and back.
335
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,673
That can't be more
than four or five miles.
336
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:10,720
How could it be empty?
337
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,409
Well, maybe it's the gauge.
338
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,911
Yeah, I guess you're right.
339
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,463
Yeah, it must be the gauge.
340
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,333
Yeah, yeah, I got plenty of gas.
341
00:15:33,816 --> 00:15:35,794
I just don't understand
it, Sergeant.
342
00:15:35,818 --> 00:15:38,063
There I was, getting
45 miles to the gallon,
343
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,821
and you ain't even getting
the 12 you used to get.
344
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,322
What do you suppose it is?
345
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,324
What'll it be,
boys? Fill 'er up!
346
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,738
Well, that's one consolation:
347
00:15:45,762 --> 00:15:48,429
you don't have to worry
about the gas gauge...
348
00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:50,498
It works just fine.
349
00:15:55,971 --> 00:15:58,622
That stuff really clears up
the sinuses, don't it, Sarge?
350
00:15:58,658 --> 00:15:59,857
Yeah. But it's worth it.
351
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,893
I'd go around with gasoline
breath for the rest of my life
352
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:05,429
just to see the look on
Carter's face tomorrow.
353
00:16:13,089 --> 00:16:14,855
Oh, no!
354
00:16:17,359 --> 00:16:18,809
Pyle!
355
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,405
Hey, Pyle! Come here!
356
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,182
I know what you're
gonna say, Sergeant.
357
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:28,102
I know I'm supposed to be
raking up behind the barracks,
358
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,487
but, you see, I swapped
off with Private Blodgett
359
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:31,789
on account of the goldenrod.
360
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,541
He didn't speak up, but
he's got this terrible allergy...
361
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:37,711
All I'm interested in is
my car, Pyle, your ex-car.
362
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,780
I want to know what's going on.
363
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,477
Why? Is something
wrong, Sergeant?
364
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,741
Something wrong?! Now
I can't even get it started!
365
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,564
That's how empty
that gas tank is!
366
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,753
Are you sure?
367
00:16:46,789 --> 00:16:47,966
I'm positive!
368
00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:49,968
That's what I can't figure out.
369
00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:53,360
I filled it up last night
before I picked Bunny up.
370
00:16:53,396 --> 00:16:56,497
Let's see, we went
down to the fish pier
371
00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:57,977
and watched them
unload the tuna.
372
00:16:58,001 --> 00:17:00,134
Then we took a drive
up the coast highway
373
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:01,669
for a taco and a beer.
374
00:17:01,704 --> 00:17:03,304
Then back to the base.
375
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:04,705
That's about 80 miles,
376
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:08,042
and the tank holds a
little more than 16 gallons,
377
00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:10,444
which means I'm getting about...
378
00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:13,214
less than five
miles to the gallon.
379
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,900
Five miles to the gallon, Pyle!
380
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,653
Well, that sure don't make
much sense, does it, Sergeant?
381
00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:20,387
Boy, I never should've let you
382
00:17:20,422 --> 00:17:23,124
talk me into buying
this piece of tin back!
383
00:17:23,159 --> 00:17:24,858
Sergeant, are you trying to say
384
00:17:24,893 --> 00:17:27,445
that you want to sell
the car back to me?
385
00:17:28,531 --> 00:17:31,499
Well... not if
you don't want it.
386
00:17:31,534 --> 00:17:33,244
Well, I sure
appreciate it, Sergeant,
387
00:17:33,268 --> 00:17:34,802
but I don't think so.
388
00:17:34,837 --> 00:17:35,947
Why not, Pyle?
389
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:38,484
Last week you
couldn't wait to buy it!
390
00:17:38,508 --> 00:17:41,241
Well, after you pointed out to
me how I was hardly using it,
391
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,387
I decided you was right.
392
00:17:42,411 --> 00:17:44,645
But I'll be glad to
check it out for you.
393
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,013
Be more than happy to see
394
00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:49,228
if I can find the trouble, if that'll
help out. Yeah, you do that.
395
00:17:49,252 --> 00:17:51,185
Well, uh, hello, Charley.
396
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,187
Boy, now, that's what I call
397
00:17:53,222 --> 00:17:55,022
a real perfectionist, Vince.
398
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:58,091
You won't be happy till you have
this thing running better than new.
399
00:17:58,127 --> 00:17:59,426
That's right, Charley.
400
00:17:59,461 --> 00:18:02,429
Just like I told Pyle:
"Don't spare the horses."
401
00:18:02,464 --> 00:18:04,643
I want it tuned like a violin,
402
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,466
a regular Stradivari.
403
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,301
No kidding. And you know why?
404
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,803
Because I got ethics.
405
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:13,641
When I sell a car, I want it
fair and square and honest.
406
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,643
I don't think I
follow you, Vince.
407
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,656
Well, I haven't
posted the notice yet,
408
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,648
but, uh, I got the
car up for sale again.
409
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,315
Oh. Yeah.
410
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,462
I figured I'd buy a
new one after all.
411
00:18:24,486 --> 00:18:26,598
And you know the
kind of rotten deal
412
00:18:26,622 --> 00:18:27,866
they give you on a trade-in,
413
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:29,968
perfect shape or
no perfect shape.
414
00:18:29,992 --> 00:18:31,959
Yeah. Well, good luck.
415
00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:34,127
Thanks. Not that I'll need it.
416
00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:36,030
Hey, Charley!
417
00:18:36,065 --> 00:18:37,932
Boy, am I dumb!
418
00:18:37,967 --> 00:18:41,035
I just remembered... last
week you were in the market.
419
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:43,203
That's right, I was. Yeah?
420
00:18:43,238 --> 00:18:46,168
Well, if you're still interested,
I'll give you first crack.
421
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:47,625
No, I don't think so, Vince,
422
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,577
not if it needs
all that fixing up.
423
00:18:49,612 --> 00:18:50,622
What fixing?
424
00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:52,279
I told you, Pyle is tuning.
425
00:18:52,314 --> 00:18:53,959
It ain't like something
was busted.
426
00:18:53,983 --> 00:18:56,333
Come on, Vince, this
is sunny California.
427
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:59,336
I got my windows open... I
heard you ranting and raving
428
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,922
about the crummy
mileage you get.
429
00:19:00,957 --> 00:19:02,456
You're kidding!
430
00:19:02,491 --> 00:19:04,125
Right, right, right.
431
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,794
That's why I got Pyle
working on it right now.
432
00:19:06,829 --> 00:19:10,131
Listen, I'll, uh, I'll even
knock the price down a little.
433
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:13,500
A little? If you want this
conversation to continue,
434
00:19:13,536 --> 00:19:15,847
you'll knock the
price down a lot.
435
00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:19,073
Like how much? Say down
to a hundred bucks even.
436
00:19:19,108 --> 00:19:20,474
A hundred?
437
00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:25,046
You're gonna blow it
again, huh, Charley?
438
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,915
The buy of a century,
and you're gonna blow it,
439
00:19:27,951 --> 00:19:29,716
just like before.
440
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,152
I guess so.
441
00:19:31,187 --> 00:19:32,264
Hold it!
442
00:19:32,288 --> 00:19:34,466
I think I just heard
Pyle calling me.
443
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:35,767
He must've found the trouble.
444
00:19:35,791 --> 00:19:38,351
Uh, wait here,
uh, don't go away.
445
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,813
Hey, Pyle.
446
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:46,283
Are you sure you don't
want to buy my car?
447
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,647
Well, no, Sergeant, I
really and truly don't.
448
00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:50,704
Well, okay, Pyle.
449
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:53,206
I just wanted to give
you one final chance,
450
00:19:53,242 --> 00:19:55,977
seeing as how I got
Hacker foaming at the mouth.
451
00:19:56,012 --> 00:19:56,978
Well, thank you, Sergeant,
452
00:19:57,013 --> 00:19:58,824
but you go ahead
and sell it if you can.
453
00:19:58,848 --> 00:20:00,114
Oh.
454
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,581
And, Sergeant?
455
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,749
Uh, yeah, Pyle?
456
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:05,552
I've gone over it with
a fine-tooth comb,
457
00:20:05,587 --> 00:20:08,255
and I'm sorry, but I
can't locate the trouble.
458
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,690
Okay, Pyle.
459
00:20:09,725 --> 00:20:11,491
Get back to your detail!
460
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,592
Well, Pyle didn't
find anything wrong.
461
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,427
It don't even need fixing.
462
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,583
Good, good!
463
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,085
Well, in that case,
I'll give you 75 bucks.
464
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,766
But you just said a hundred.
465
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,356
That was a while ago...
Now it's an older car.
466
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,992
Okay, Hacker,
but only if it's cash.
467
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,261
Cash! Well, if it's
gonna be cash...
468
00:20:31,297 --> 00:20:33,230
65 bucks? You got a deal.
469
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:38,469
Twenty, forty, sixty, five.
470
00:20:43,859 --> 00:20:44,991
Hey, Sergeant.
471
00:20:45,027 --> 00:20:47,761
I found that extra set of
car keys. I don't want 'em.
472
00:20:47,797 --> 00:20:49,841
Give 'em to Sergeant
Hacker... it's his car now.
473
00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:51,965
Golly! Did you sell the car?
474
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,734
What'd you get for it, Sergeant?
475
00:20:53,769 --> 00:20:55,169
$200 at least, I'll bet.
476
00:20:55,204 --> 00:20:56,671
Pyle! $150?
477
00:20:56,706 --> 00:20:58,039
Car running that smooth's
478
00:20:58,074 --> 00:21:00,207
got to be worth $150.
479
00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:02,042
A hundred?
480
00:21:02,078 --> 00:21:03,344
Ninety?
481
00:21:03,379 --> 00:21:05,078
Seventy-five.
482
00:21:05,113 --> 00:21:06,313
Fifty?
483
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:07,548
Sergeant, you didn't...
484
00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:09,216
$65! I sold it for $65!
485
00:21:09,252 --> 00:21:11,018
Now, get out of here!
486
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,920
Watch it, Jensen, you're
sloshing all over the place.
487
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,254
I'm not sloshing...
it's leaking.
488
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,990
Okay. Let's get
the gas in the car
489
00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:22,725
and hide these cans
before Carter gets back.
490
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,882
You really think he'll
be able to figure it out?
491
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,157
Let's not take any
chances. Hey, Sarge!
492
00:21:29,238 --> 00:21:30,348
Uh-oh, it's Carter!
493
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,017
Get these cans in the trunk.
494
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,808
And then beat it!
495
00:21:39,248 --> 00:21:40,848
Hey-hey-hey, what's up, Vince?
496
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:42,227
You change your mind again?
497
00:21:42,251 --> 00:21:46,520
No, I just thought I'd bring
you an extra set of car keys. Oh.
498
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:47,855
You smell gas?
499
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,017
Uh, gas?
500
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:50,708
No, I don't smell anything.
501
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:53,427
Must be that new
aftershave lotion you're using.
502
00:21:54,696 --> 00:21:56,942
I got something for you,
Vince. Yeah? What's that?
503
00:21:56,966 --> 00:21:58,043
A cigar.
504
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,112
Just to seal our
bargain on the car.
505
00:22:00,136 --> 00:22:02,769
You sure this ain't one of
them gag exploding ones?
506
00:22:02,805 --> 00:22:05,439
Boy, you certainly are
a suspicious guy, Vince,
507
00:22:05,474 --> 00:22:06,518
you know that?
508
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:08,287
And you know
something else you are?
509
00:22:08,311 --> 00:22:10,010
You are ungracious.
510
00:22:10,046 --> 00:22:13,280
You are definitely
an ungracious guy.
511
00:22:13,315 --> 00:22:17,451
I'd hate to be married to
you. Knock it off, will ya?
512
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:23,040
It's your car!
513
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:25,459
Fire! Fire!
514
00:22:25,494 --> 00:22:27,627
Hey! Hey, grab a
fire extinguisher!
515
00:22:27,663 --> 00:22:29,463
Give 'em a hand! Come on!
516
00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:31,098
Somebody call
the fire department!
517
00:22:36,505 --> 00:22:37,804
What happened?
518
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,074
How could a car
blow up just like that?
519
00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:41,853
Well, what do you
suppose it was?
520
00:22:41,877 --> 00:22:43,643
Do you think it's the gas tank?
521
00:22:43,679 --> 00:22:46,746
Maybe somebody left a
cigarette burning in the car.
522
00:22:48,351 --> 00:22:51,352
Oh, Hacker? What?
523
00:22:51,387 --> 00:22:54,154
Here are the keys to your car.
524
00:22:54,190 --> 00:22:56,139
Golly...!
525
00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:18,095
Hey, Pyle!
526
00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:19,797
Wait up.
527
00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,131
Hey, Sergeant.
528
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:22,978
What did Sergeant Hacker want?
529
00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:25,669
Well, I don't know whether
you'd approve or not.
530
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:27,104
What? What? Tell me.
531
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:29,239
Well, your car...
532
00:23:29,274 --> 00:23:32,076
I mean, your car
before it was my car
533
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:33,376
before it was his car...
534
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:35,079
Yeah, what about it?
535
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:37,081
Well, it's my car again.
536
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:38,082
Your car?
537
00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:39,794
You mean the car that blew up?
538
00:23:39,818 --> 00:23:41,713
The car that burned?
You mean that car?
539
00:23:41,737 --> 00:23:43,754
That's right.
540
00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:45,400
Pyle, how can
you be that stupid?
541
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:47,502
You got to be
kidding to be so dumb
542
00:23:47,526 --> 00:23:50,261
as to let somebody sell
you a piece of junk like that.
543
00:23:50,296 --> 00:23:52,441
But, Sergeant... What
are you, Mr. Nice Guy?
544
00:23:52,465 --> 00:23:56,433
Sergeant Hacker's car
burns, so you feel sorry for him,
545
00:23:56,469 --> 00:23:58,101
and you buy it from him.
546
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:00,103
That's not nice, that's stupid,
547
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:01,438
just plain stupid!
548
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:03,051
But I didn't buy it, Sergeant.
549
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:04,908
Huh? Well, you
said it was yours.
550
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,855
Well, Sergeant
Hacker gave me $20
551
00:24:06,879 --> 00:24:09,546
to take it off his
hands as junk.
552
00:24:09,582 --> 00:24:11,382
He did? Uh-huh.
553
00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:13,211
And do you know
something, Sergeant?
554
00:24:13,235 --> 00:24:14,568
This car ain't done for.
555
00:24:14,603 --> 00:24:16,381
You can restore
a burned-out car.
556
00:24:16,405 --> 00:24:19,173
I can get a new windshield
here, some new upholstery,
557
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:21,086
and give her a new paint job...
558
00:24:21,110 --> 00:24:22,754
Nobody'll ever
know the difference.
559
00:24:22,778 --> 00:24:25,913
Aw, come on. And I'm gonna
try and get her into shape.
560
00:24:25,948 --> 00:24:28,426
And if I do, do you think
you might be interested,
561
00:24:28,450 --> 00:24:30,812
seeing as how Miss Bunny
can't ride buses and things?
562
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:32,736
Well, if you're getting
pretty good mileage
563
00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:35,506
and the gas gauge works...
564
00:24:35,541 --> 00:24:37,658
What am I talking about?!
40782
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