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♪
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00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:05,255
JULIO: At Hugs Not Thugs,
we offer the resources you need
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00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,132
to transform your life.
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00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,510
- People love buying cupcakes
from ex-gang members.
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00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,554
- Bitch, do you want me to relapse?
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00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,848
JULIO: My cousin spent
the last eight years in prison.
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Sorry I'm late!
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He's crashing at my place.
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[groans]
LUIS: Check it out.
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00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,686
We don't have to wipe our ass
with sandpaper anymore.
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- Dawg, put that shit away.
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[gasps]
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Technically, it's my mom's house.
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00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,527
[grunts]
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MAGGIE: You're 31
and you still live at your mom's house.
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And you broke up with me
because you're scared of commitment.
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CANDI:
You've never been to therapy
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00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:39,581
but you're leading a group hug session?
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00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:40,999
- That's fucked up, Julio.
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00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,418
- In your profile, you said
you were an aspiring entrepreneur.
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- Oh, well, um,
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I have a passion for coffee.
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RANDY:
You got some serious psychological issues.
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- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
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00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,179
LUIS:
Hey, homey, what the fuck you doing?
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[both grunt]
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- I need someone like you
for a security guard.
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- Y'all hear that?
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00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,937
This store belongs
to Luis motherfuckin' Hernandez.
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JULIO:
Whoa!
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- Damn.
MINISTER PAYNE: Shit.
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Sorry, guys.
- That verga was massive.
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- Last week, a huge potential donor
stopped by
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and offered us $15 million in grant.
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All billionaires are pigs.
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- I like it when he watches me
have sex with poor people.
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- I fuckin' knew it.
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But the truth is
my P was simply too big for her V.
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Anyway, those fucking billionaire fucks
tore up that check right in front of me
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and my big dong.
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We're done here. Very sorry.
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- We got the apartment!
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I'm sorry you lost your job,
but I got your back.
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- I don't wanna move in with you, okay?
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You're messy. I don't have a job.
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Sometimes I don't even think
we're right for each other.
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MAGGIE:
Get the fuck outta my apartment.
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- Where should I sleep?
- Take the bed, big dawg.
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- For real?
LUIS: Nah, nah, nah.
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The bed's mine.
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But you can have the couch, alright?
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JULIO:
I don't know what I'm gonna do now.
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MINISTER PAYNE:
Burning down your entire life
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forces you out of your comfort zone.
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It makes you have to find a new path.
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[crows]
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[sighs]
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- Ugh.
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[rooster crows]
[sighs]
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♪
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[mumbles, grunts]
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♪
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[exhaling]
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♪
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[rooster crows]
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♪
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[rooster crows]
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Dawg, pick up your shit.
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- It's on my side.
[Luis scoffs]
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- Every day it's the same thing with you.
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Do something with your life. Go get a job.
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- You should try giving up.
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Shit is tight.
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LUIS:
You know what? I pity you.
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00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,356
Damn, over here trying
to get my day started
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00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,732
and now I'm sitting here filled with pity?
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Fuck!
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[rooster crows]
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Fuckin' rooster.
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DARIUS:
Julio.
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JULIO:
What's up, Darius?
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- Come here for a second.
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Got something I wanna discuss with you.
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- You come here.
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- Nah, you come here.
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You coming?
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- Are you coming?
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- Goddammit.
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00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,984
Are you the one feeding
this little-ass dinosaur?
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00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,529
Listen, Julio, I don't wanna get
racial about this shit,
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00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,739
but this ain't Mexico.
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Tell Don Emilio he needs
to do something with this bird.
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00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,243
The thing is crowing
every damn hour of the day,
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I can't sleep.
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I work the graveyard.
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00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,206
This is my nighttime, dawg.
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The sun is my moon.
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- Tell Don Emilio yourself. It's his bird.
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I just rent that fool's garage.
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DARIUS:
You know I don't speak no español.
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00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,590
Now, I have been taken
these Duolingo classes.
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00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,383
I'm starting to understand
what you people sayin' about me.
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00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,469
Y'all talking a lot of shit.
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The more I learn, the more it hurt.
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DARIUS:
Well, I'm making it your problemo.
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Whole motherfucking block can't sleep.
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Shit boilin' up.
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Remember the '90s?
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Shit was heated
between your people and my people.
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Now, we been gettin' along
real nice for a while
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but this neighborhood is held together
by a very thin fabric,
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and that motherfuckin' rooster
is pecking holes in that fabric.
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Peck, peck, peck.
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- Kill each other.
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See if I give a shit.
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- You're just gonna sit there
in your nasty-ass pajamas
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and watch the world burn.
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♪
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That ain't right, Julio.
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That ain't right.
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♪
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Jesus.
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People think these trees
make the hood look nice.
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They're killing us!
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♪ theme music playing ♪
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♪
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ANNOUNCER: [on TV]
120 miles ahead of Hugh is Alex.
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So far the ice has held.
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The truck has run true.
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[knock on window]
DON EMILIO: Julio?
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ANNOUNCER: [on TV]
...Alex's luck runs out.
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[TV continues indistinct]
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LUIS:
Hey, my man.
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00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,773
You just bumped into me,
you didn't say sorry.
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Think you can just go around
being all rude and shit?
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Dawg, I've stabbed motherfuckers
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for acting disrespectful like that.
138
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What the fuck you gotta say now, huh?
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00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,744
What the-- The fuck?
140
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,538
Is that a cuff link in your pocket?
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00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,373
Oh, you wanna come in here
and steal from me now?
142
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,083
I'm not the one, homey.
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00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,627
Turn your ass around,
put your fuckin' hands on the wall, bitch.
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- Man, you look like
a Guatemalan James Bond.
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LUIS: Nobody jacks from my store.
You wanna steal?
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00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,510
You do that shit
at Men's Wearhouse, bitch.
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- Excuse me for a minute.
148
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,681
Hey, cut that shit out, Luis.
149
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:14,726
What the hell is going on?
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00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,228
- Hey, I was just practicing, you know.
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For when something really goes down.
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You gotta be ready, you know.
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- Ready for what?
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Man, once or twice a year
shit goes down in here.
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The rest of the time,
just go sit on your stool
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and be cool, man.
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- Yeah, but I'm fuckin' bored.
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- You want something to do? Okay.
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Last night, somebody came in here
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and painted a sad, "flacked" penis
on our window.
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Go clean the sad, "flacked" penis off,
young blood.
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- "Flacked"?
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- Flacked.
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- Aw, man, what the fuck? [sighs]
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♪
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[baby crying]
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♪
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- Hello, my name is Jesus Christ.
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00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,451
Will you buy me a sandwich?
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00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:13,327
- Nah.
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00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,084
- What's up, Officer Hernandez?
- What's up, Ruby?
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00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,670
- Same one again?
You know we got other flavors.
173
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,672
- Yeah. Same shit, different day.
174
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,757
- I feel you.
175
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:28,926
- What's up with that book you're reading?
176
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,012
- Oh, it's a book about Norway.
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00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,222
- Norway?
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00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,223
What's Norway about?
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00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:36,141
- That's where they got
reindeers and shit.
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00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,142
I'm going there next month.
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- Damn. For real?
RUBY: Yeah.
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00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:40,437
- Sounds tight.
183
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,105
Pretty expensive though, huh?
184
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,941
- I got a system.
185
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,527
- Oh, shit, look at you,
you got a system now?
186
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:47,528
- Yeah, check this out.
187
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,530
Four days a week I work here,
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00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,490
one day a week I work
at the baggage claim at United Airlines
189
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,201
because, you know, if you work
at an airline, you get free flights.
190
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,286
Yeah, so I bust my ass working here,
191
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,956
save my money
and then I can travel anywhere I wanna go.
192
00:08:58,956 --> 00:08:59,998
I've been everywhere.
193
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,042
I've even been to Saudi Arabia.
194
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,503
- Man, Saudi Arabia?
195
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,547
- Yeah. It sucks, but I've been there.
196
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,507
- Damn, look at you.
197
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,260
You're like Antonia Bourdain.
198
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,054
- You're funny.
199
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,849
[bell dinging]
200
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,017
I hate when people want ice cream.
201
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,520
Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, officer.
202
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,105
- See you later, Ruby.
203
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:27,109
[bell dinging insistently]
204
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:31,238
♪
205
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:40,163
- So, Don Emilio,
this is what it's come to.
206
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,999
[rooster crows]
207
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:45,002
[all groan, sigh]
208
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,213
Now, I don't believe in this
209
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,174
we all gotta
love each other unity bullshit.
210
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:50,757
- Mm-mmm.
211
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,844
- But what I do believe in is respect.
212
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:54,928
You're not respecting the fact
213
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,514
that we all have jobs
and we need our sleep.
214
00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,225
- Lack of sleep
affects a man's testosterone.
215
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:03,562
Julio, tell him,
my husband can't get hard.
216
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,355
- No! Don't translate that.
217
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,316
Yvonne, what the fuck?
- [whispering] It's true.
218
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:08,525
- Don Emilio.
219
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,534
[rooster crows]
220
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,838
- No.
[all groan]
221
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,425
- You're putting us
in a difficult position, Don Emilio.
222
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,469
We all know that if
Darius killed your rooster,
223
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:38,430
then me and the other Latinos
gotta back your ass up
224
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,598
and fuck up Darius' dog.
225
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:40,349
- Hmm.
226
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:41,475
FRANKIE:
I don't wanna fuck up Darius' dog.
227
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,976
That's a cute-ass dog.
228
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,937
DARIUS:
And when you fuck up my dog,
229
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:47,231
my people gonna have to fuck up
some of your people.
230
00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:48,815
- Then we're in a race war.
231
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,150
- And you know what happens after that?
232
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,569
Mr. Chen gonna have to pick a side.
233
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,113
♪ tense music playing ♪
234
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,741
♪
235
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,743
[rooster crows]
236
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,453
Don't put Mr. Chen in that position.
237
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:09,044
- Well, I'm sure
that janky-ass garage you rent out
238
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,712
doesn't have a permit.
DARIUS: Mm-hmm.
239
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,422
YVONNE:
It would be a shame if the city
240
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:15,342
found out and you had
to evict your tenants.
241
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,969
Tell him that, Julio.
242
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,389
- Don Emilio.
243
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:51,962
[all gasp]
244
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,964
[Sofia snoring]
245
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:54,715
[stammers]
246
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:15,611
[all yawn]
247
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:19,740
[rooster crows]
248
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:20,741
[door closes]
249
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,756
[rooster crows]
250
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:40,802
[yawns]
251
00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:44,556
JULIO:
You know why everyone hates you?
252
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,934
'Cause they're jealous.
253
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,769
You don't gotta worry about nothing.
254
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,688
'Cause you're just a fuckin' rooster.
255
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,524
Your only job is to get chickens pregnant.
256
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,611
Damn. You're a player, huh?
257
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,364
How many chickens you fucked in your life?
258
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:02,282
Probably like a hundred, huh?
259
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:05,577
Life is meaningless
and you don't even know it.
260
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,663
Lucky-ass fool.
261
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,040
I would do anything
to trade places with you.
262
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:12,835
Anything.
[wings fluttering]
263
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,591
[yawns]
264
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,264
[fishing rod reel unspooling]
265
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:31,311
♪
266
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,356
[clucking]
267
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:40,195
♪
268
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,409
[rooster clucks]
269
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:48,328
[wings fluttering]
270
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,455
Huh? Oh, shit, no, no, no.
271
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,166
No, no, no, no, no.
272
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,501
What the fuck are you doing?
273
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:55,502
Let go of it.
274
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,964
What... the... fuck? Hey!
275
00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:01,425
♪
276
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:04,011
Mr. Chen? What the fuck are you doing?
277
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,721
MR. CHEN:
That rooster has to die.
278
00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:06,680
You don't know what it's like
279
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,432
to not have your people around
to back you up.
280
00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:09,558
- What happened to the Parks?
281
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,310
- They moved to Texas.
282
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:12,603
[gunshot]
283
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:19,526
♪
284
00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:34,416
♪ lively mariachi music playing ♪
285
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,751
[groans]
286
00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:36,585
[grunts]
287
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,503
[groans]
288
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:40,339
♪ Spanish song playing ♪
289
00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:45,802
[sighs]
290
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,306
♪
291
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:50,891
- What the fuck?
292
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,726
It's too early to be bumping that shit.
293
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:54,686
- Doesn't bother me.
294
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,563
[grunts]
295
00:14:57,272 --> 00:15:02,444
♪
296
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,987
- Don Emilio.
297
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,864
Turn that mariachi shit off,
I'm trying to sleep.
298
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:06,490
- Yeah.
299
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:09,701
♪ song continues ♪
300
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:10,702
[song stops]
301
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,163
♪ lively mariachi music continues ♪
302
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:13,997
[all groaning]
303
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,374
- I'm not fuckin' around with you.
304
00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:17,584
If I don't get no sleep today,
305
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,420
that bitch-ass rooster
is gonna sleep forever!
306
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,421
♪
307
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,966
♪ Spanish song playing ♪
308
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:29,972
♪
309
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,307
[yawns, sighs]
310
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:40,691
- Man, you look like
a Taiwanese James Bond.
311
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:45,904
LUIS:
Psst.
312
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,448
Slick-ass ties, huh, my boy?
313
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,492
- Yeah, they're pretty nice.
314
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,577
- Super nice.
315
00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:55,205
Go ahead.
316
00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,041
Take one.
317
00:15:59,251 --> 00:15:59,960
- What?
318
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,462
- It's cool. I work here.
319
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,922
I'm the head of security.
320
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,966
But homeboy don't pay me enough.
321
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,969
So you know what I'm sayin'?
I don't give a fuck.
322
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,430
Go with that green one.
323
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:12,556
Shit looks good on you.
324
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,934
- Man, I don't know, I'm not trying
to get in trouble or nothing.
325
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:18,020
- Dawg... I got you.
326
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,739
♪
327
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:30,407
Got you, dawg.
MAN: What the fuck?
328
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,241
- Fucking tie thief.
329
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,576
- What the fuck, man?
You tricked me!
330
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:34,578
- You tricked yourself, bitch. [laughs]
[handcuffs clicking]
331
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,872
- What's going on over here?
332
00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:38,582
- OG, I caught this motherfucker stealing.
333
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:39,416
- He said I could have it!
334
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:40,751
- Yeah, it was a test and you failed,
335
00:16:40,751 --> 00:16:42,211
now time to pay the price, bitch!
336
00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:44,755
- Young blood, let this man go.
337
00:16:44,755 --> 00:16:45,964
- But, OG, he fucking tried--
338
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:47,674
- But nothing, let him go.
339
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:50,052
- He's taking the tie!
340
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:51,929
And the mannequin.
341
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,015
JOHN:
Don't worry about it.
342
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,059
We got mannequin insurance.
343
00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:58,727
[grunts]
344
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:00,312
[exhales]
345
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,775
LUIS:
[sighs] I don't know, I--
346
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:07,611
I guess I just feel like I-- [sighs]
347
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:10,989
I got all this energy and I don't know
what to do with it, you know?
348
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:15,827
Like something inside of me
just, like, can't figure this shit out.
349
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:19,373
I just feel like I just wanna go out there
350
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:22,543
and really, like, really do...
351
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:23,585
[slurping noisily]
352
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:24,920
...something.
353
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,338
- Like start your own business?
354
00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:29,633
Boy, you better not open up
a new suit shop next to me.
355
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,301
- Oh, no, no, not like that.
356
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,095
Man, I don't fuckin' know.
357
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,848
It's just that... [sighs]
358
00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:37,766
...shit keeps happening to me,
359
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,185
like people bump into me,
they don't say sorry.
360
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,397
It makes me feel,
361
00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:46,024
makes me feel fuckin' crazy.
362
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:48,610
You know, I keep thinking to myself,
363
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,862
"So this is freedom, huh?"
364
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:53,740
There's times when I miss being in prison.
365
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:57,536
OG, please, man, like, tell me what to do
366
00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,538
'cause I feel like
I'm about to lose my shit.
367
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,875
JOHN:
You know who you remind me of?
368
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,253
James Bond.
369
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,964
Now, there was a man of violence.
370
00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:12,259
I've seen all 25 movies.
371
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,303
And do you know how many people he killed?
372
00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:17,514
Five hundred and ninety-seven.
Oh, I counted.
373
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:21,518
Now, why do you suppose
he killed all them people?
374
00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:26,481
Because he never settled down
with a nice woman.
375
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,401
Even though he met plenty of 'em.
376
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,695
Had sexual relations with 58.
377
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:34,615
Counted them too, bro.
378
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:35,616
[John chuckles]
379
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,993
Some women, he'd sleep with 'em
380
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:40,037
then he'd kill 'em.
381
00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:43,957
That's part of what made it
such a fascinating franchise.
382
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,919
But that was also his downfall.
383
00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:48,921
You see, in this life,
384
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,382
you got to find some way
to spend that energy.
385
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,968
You can either kill countless men
386
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,137
or find yourself a nice woman,
387
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,682
settle down, start a family.
388
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:04,978
That way you won't end up like James Bond.
389
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,856
A man I deeply respect
390
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,901
but I also pity.
391
00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:13,779
Now, get out there
392
00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:19,535
and clean that big erect penis
off my window!
393
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,996
The vandals have struck us again.
394
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:28,460
♪
395
00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:39,972
♪
396
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:47,187
- Hello, my name is James Bond.
Will you buy me a sandwich?
397
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,021
- Nah.
398
00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:52,901
Wait.
399
00:19:54,278 --> 00:19:56,029
Did you just say your name was James Bond?
400
00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:58,991
- No, I am Christ.
401
00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,660
Jesus Christ?
402
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:07,082
♪
403
00:20:10,294 --> 00:20:11,545
- Hola, Officer Hernandez.
404
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:13,463
- What's up, Señora Bourdain?
405
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:15,883
- Damn, you finally went for a new flavor.
406
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,885
- Yeah, well, it's a new day.
407
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,136
- Okay, I see you.
408
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:21,763
- Yeah, well,
409
00:20:22,598 --> 00:20:24,892
you know, I hope it's not being
too forward or anything,
410
00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:27,436
but, you know, I was thinking that,
411
00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:30,314
you know, maybe you and I could--
412
00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:31,273
[bell dinging]
413
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,566
- Hello?
414
00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:33,734
Can I get some help, please?
415
00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:34,943
- Hey, my man.
416
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,613
Give us a minute, alright?
We're having a conversation here.
417
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,409
But, uh, I was gonna ask--
418
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,035
[bell dings]
419
00:20:44,036 --> 00:20:45,871
Hey, dawg, you ring
that bell one more time,
420
00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:47,289
you're gonna regret that shit.
421
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:49,374
[bell dings]
422
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,335
I fuckin' told you.
- Hey, Luis.
423
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:52,294
It's cool, it's cool.
424
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:54,379
Let me just take care
of this dumbass real quick.
425
00:20:58,926 --> 00:20:59,760
[bell dings]
426
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,053
- You motherfu--
427
00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:04,723
Hey, my man.
428
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,558
How about a sorry?
429
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:08,977
- What?
430
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:11,146
- You just bumped into me
and didn't say sorry.
431
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,564
Alright? That's bad manners.
432
00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,234
Made me drop these flowers on the ground
433
00:21:15,234 --> 00:21:16,860
that I was about to give to somebody.
434
00:21:18,362 --> 00:21:20,322
You should say you're sorry.
435
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:23,659
- Okay dude, relax, okay?
It's not that big of a deal.
436
00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:24,701
- Not that big of a deal? Fuck that.
437
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,577
[onlookers gasp]
438
00:21:26,495 --> 00:21:29,289
You can't just be going around
bumping into people and not saying sorry.
439
00:21:29,915 --> 00:21:32,417
You know, in prison you get stabbed
for not saying sorry.
440
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,378
You can start a fuckin' race riot
441
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:36,672
for bumping into someone
and not saying sorry!
442
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,924
Y'all need to be a lot nicer.
443
00:21:39,508 --> 00:21:41,051
Like people in prison are.
444
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:43,262
- Okay, alright. Hey, I'm sorry.
445
00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:45,055
- Oh, now you're sorry, huh?
446
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:46,598
You know what?
Fuck that, motherfucker, it's too late.
447
00:21:47,224 --> 00:21:48,642
[grunting]
- Oh!
448
00:21:50,227 --> 00:21:51,061
- Fuck.
449
00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:57,192
- Both of you get the fuck outta here
before I call the cops.
450
00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:03,115
Luis, wait.
451
00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:07,703
You're right.
452
00:22:07,703 --> 00:22:09,705
People around here
don't have any fucking manners.
453
00:22:09,705 --> 00:22:13,083
♪
454
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,376
- Oh, shit.
455
00:22:16,837 --> 00:22:18,630
For real?
RUBY: Mm-hmm.
456
00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:20,340
Now get the fuck outta here.
457
00:22:20,883 --> 00:22:22,593
- Right. I'ma hit you up later.
458
00:22:22,593 --> 00:22:27,014
♪
459
00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:32,144
- Hi, hello. That asshole
is stealing ice cream.
460
00:22:32,144 --> 00:22:35,105
♪
461
00:22:35,105 --> 00:22:37,900
- I just needed my mint chip.
462
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,067
Wait. No.
463
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:42,154
[screaming]
464
00:22:42,863 --> 00:22:44,698
- That's right.
[screaming continues]
465
00:22:47,201 --> 00:22:49,870
♪ lively mariachi music playing ♪
466
00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:55,167
♪
467
00:22:55,167 --> 00:22:56,877
[exhales]
468
00:22:56,877 --> 00:22:59,421
♪ Spanish song playing ♪
469
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:02,216
♪ dramatic music plays ♪
470
00:23:02,216 --> 00:23:04,551
[indistinct chatter]
471
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,220
♪ mariachi music continues ♪
472
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:07,638
[chatter continues]
473
00:23:07,638 --> 00:23:10,557
♪
474
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,476
ANNOUNCER [on TV]:
Suddenly, a close call.
475
00:23:12,476 --> 00:23:13,894
TRUCKER:
I was hanging right on the edge.
476
00:23:13,894 --> 00:23:15,812
[laughs]
477
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,731
♪
478
00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:21,360
[indistinct chatter on TV]
479
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:22,986
♪ song continues ♪
480
00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:24,655
♪
481
00:23:24,655 --> 00:23:27,074
DARIUS: At first we thought
that rooster was gonna divide us.
482
00:23:27,074 --> 00:23:27,616
MAN:
Yeah!
483
00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:29,117
DARIUS:
But you've done the impossible.
484
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,327
You have united us against you
485
00:23:30,327 --> 00:23:32,204
with our hate
for that motherfucking rooster.
486
00:23:32,204 --> 00:23:33,830
ALL:
Yeah!
487
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,040
- Hey, translate that.
488
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,794
- Uh, man, actually
my Spanish isn't that good, like,
489
00:23:38,794 --> 00:23:40,963
I speak it, I definitely understand it.
490
00:23:40,963 --> 00:23:44,424
And besides, man,
Spanish is a colonizer language.
491
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:46,552
- Hey, Julio. Translate that shit.
492
00:23:46,552 --> 00:23:48,136
- Suck my dick, bitch.
493
00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:49,596
I'm done translating for you.
494
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:51,265
- Forget you, then.
495
00:23:51,265 --> 00:23:52,516
Don Emilio.
496
00:23:54,977 --> 00:23:57,479
ALL:
Yeah!
497
00:23:58,021 --> 00:23:59,231
DARIUS:
It's over.
498
00:23:59,231 --> 00:24:01,233
Just hand over the rooster,
we can all go home.
499
00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:03,235
♪ song continues ♪
500
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:05,571
[all gasp]
501
00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:08,949
♪
502
00:24:08,949 --> 00:24:10,117
That's alright.
503
00:24:10,117 --> 00:24:11,368
I don't even care anymore.
504
00:24:11,952 --> 00:24:12,828
Kill me.
505
00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:15,789
At least then I'll finally
be able to get some sleep.
506
00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:18,542
♪
507
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,592
[rooster crows]
508
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:33,307
DARIUS:
That's alright, old man. That's alright.
509
00:24:33,307 --> 00:24:35,642
Just hand over the rooster,
we can all go home.
510
00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:46,195
- Kill the motherfucker!
511
00:24:47,738 --> 00:24:48,822
ALL:
Yeah!
512
00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:50,657
FRANKIE: Kill.
[crowd clamoring]
513
00:24:50,657 --> 00:24:55,704
♪
514
00:24:55,704 --> 00:24:56,830
JULIO:
Stop!
515
00:24:58,874 --> 00:25:00,375
Please don't kill the rooster.
516
00:25:02,336 --> 00:25:03,504
[sniffles]
517
00:25:03,504 --> 00:25:09,051
♪
518
00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:16,266
[sniffles]
519
00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:17,684
He's all I have.
520
00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:21,730
♪
521
00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:25,943
YVONNE:
Damn.
522
00:25:25,943 --> 00:25:27,986
This is sad as fuck.
523
00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:29,446
♪
524
00:25:29,446 --> 00:25:30,489
[Yvonne sighs]
525
00:25:32,324 --> 00:25:33,825
- Let's just go home.
526
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:35,994
Get one of those
fuckin' white noise machines.
527
00:25:35,994 --> 00:25:37,371
- And some Viagra.
528
00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:39,206
- Yeah.
529
00:25:39,206 --> 00:25:41,834
♪
530
00:25:41,834 --> 00:25:45,254
♪
531
00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:46,713
TRUCKER [on TV]:
There's a crow. Right there.
532
00:25:47,339 --> 00:25:50,300
Right beside the window,
look at the silly bugger.
533
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:53,762
ANNOUNCER [on TV]: The raven is playing
in the heat waves rising off the truck.
534
00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:55,514
- Hey, check it out, fool.
535
00:25:55,514 --> 00:25:56,390
New tattoo.
536
00:25:57,391 --> 00:25:59,101
[rooster crows]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
537
00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:00,894
Damn, dawg, I told you
to get this rooster outta here.
538
00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:02,563
- He's on my side.
539
00:26:03,146 --> 00:26:04,690
LUIS: Ah, fuck it,
I don't give a shit anymore anyway.
540
00:26:05,315 --> 00:26:06,567
What you been up to?
541
00:26:07,526 --> 00:26:08,861
- Same shit, different day.
542
00:26:09,444 --> 00:26:10,487
- I feel that.
543
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:12,531
♪
544
00:26:12,531 --> 00:26:14,491
[crows]
545
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:18,745
♪ Feeling downtrodden,
fresh kid turned rotten ♪
546
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:21,373
♪ I can't believe
how naive that I've gotten ♪
547
00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:23,876
♪ Over the years
seems like I'm getting dumber ♪
548
00:26:23,876 --> 00:26:27,004
♪ Reminiscing to a time
when I was younger with a hunger ♪
549
00:26:27,004 --> 00:26:29,756
♪ Full of dreams,
determination, self-esteem ♪
550
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:32,551
♪ But now it seems
they hesitate to be on my team ♪
551
00:26:32,551 --> 00:26:35,137
♪ You know the routine,
when you winning they grinning ♪
552
00:26:35,137 --> 00:26:36,305
♪ All up in your face ♪
553
00:26:36,305 --> 00:26:38,223
♪ Like they was with you
from the beginning ♪
554
00:26:38,223 --> 00:26:41,143
♪ But on the flip side
when you're washed up like a riptide ♪
555
00:26:41,143 --> 00:26:44,563
♪ Fools clown about
how you slipped and let shit slide ♪
556
00:26:44,563 --> 00:26:46,940
♪ Besides the fact my voice is whack ♪
557
00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:49,860
♪ Clowns is running 'round
talking about I smoked crack ♪
558
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:52,446
♪ Ain't got no homeys that got my back ♪
559
00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:55,657
♪ Yeah, I'm a brother
but sometimes I don't feel black ♪
560
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:58,076
♪ My girl is white, my game ain't tight ♪
561
00:26:58,076 --> 00:26:59,578
♪ Niggas who ain't seen me in a while ♪
562
00:26:59,578 --> 00:27:01,079
♪ Be like, "Dude, you a'ight?" ♪
563
00:27:01,079 --> 00:27:03,248
♪ Who am I kidding, who am I fooling? ♪
564
00:27:03,248 --> 00:27:05,334
♪ When they be like,
"What's up, Fatlip?" ♪
565
00:27:05,334 --> 00:27:06,960
♪ And I say, "Cooling" ♪
566
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,921
♪ Who am I kidding, who am I fooling? ♪
567
00:27:08,921 --> 00:27:11,006
♪ When they be like,
"What's up, Fatlip?" ♪
568
00:27:11,006 --> 00:27:12,424
♪ And I say, "Cooling" ♪
569
00:27:12,424 --> 00:27:14,635
♪ Who am I kidding, who am I fooling? ♪
570
00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:16,678
♪ When they be like,
"What's up, Fatlip?" ♪
571
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:18,096
♪ And I say, "Cooling" ♪
572
00:27:18,096 --> 00:27:18,972
♪ Who am I kidding ♪
37149
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