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1
00:00:01,945 --> 00:00:02,810
Lidia (v.O.): Previously
on moonshine...
2
00:00:02,846 --> 00:00:03,678
- [loud bang]
- [bird caws]
3
00:00:04,815 --> 00:00:05,947
Nora: My sister lidia
is in meltdown mode.
4
00:00:05,949 --> 00:00:06,915
-Still got it.
5
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,183
-She moved back
from the big city
6
00:00:08,318 --> 00:00:09,818
And shitcanned
her life last summer.
7
00:00:09,953 --> 00:00:11,686
She's been in
a death spiral ever since.
8
00:00:11,722 --> 00:00:12,954
...You love what?
9
00:00:13,023 --> 00:00:14,556
Andreas: [on phone]
your new podcast idea!
10
00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,891
Can you have the pilot outline
ready for me next week?
11
00:00:16,927 --> 00:00:18,359
Wes: Look, I haven't
been entirely honest
12
00:00:18,395 --> 00:00:21,029
With you, either.
I'm weston lonergan of wesworld.
13
00:00:21,031 --> 00:00:22,964
Lidia: Is that blueprints
for the stupid resort?
14
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,299
Ugh!
15
00:00:24,301 --> 00:00:25,634
Ryan: She's fixing it!
16
00:00:25,769 --> 00:00:27,368
Rhian: Are you insane?
17
00:00:27,504 --> 00:00:31,239
You think I will stand back
and let this happen?
18
00:00:31,374 --> 00:00:34,042
Not tonight, satan!
19
00:00:34,177 --> 00:00:36,911
- [crowd groans]
- oww...
20
00:00:39,149 --> 00:00:41,382
Lidia: We're here today
to celebrate the life
21
00:00:41,418 --> 00:00:43,684
Of a woman we all loved.
22
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:47,589
A complicated woman,
a delightful woman,
23
00:00:47,658 --> 00:00:51,792
A woman who was just beginning
to discover who she really was.
24
00:00:51,829 --> 00:00:54,795
Gone too soon,
25
00:00:54,832 --> 00:00:56,331
From shame-related injuries
26
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,800
Sustained in a tragic
karaoke accident.
27
00:00:59,837 --> 00:01:01,369
[sighs]
28
00:01:01,405 --> 00:01:04,673
Who was lidia bennett
and what did she accomplish
29
00:01:04,675 --> 00:01:09,710
In her short 42 years
on this pale blue dot?
30
00:01:09,746 --> 00:01:11,279
Nothing of note
after she let new york,
31
00:01:11,315 --> 00:01:13,081
If we're being honest.
32
00:01:13,083 --> 00:01:14,282
But we're probably
not being honest
33
00:01:14,351 --> 00:01:16,117
Since we all have
issues with that.
34
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:17,586
Judgey bitch.
35
00:01:17,721 --> 00:01:19,621
Being self-critical
isn't always a bad thing, lids.
36
00:01:19,690 --> 00:01:20,888
It can be motivating.
37
00:01:20,924 --> 00:01:22,757
You should try it sometime.
38
00:01:22,793 --> 00:01:24,759
- [burps] I'm good.
- Are you?
39
00:01:24,761 --> 00:01:29,230
Because this whole lady lebowski
shtick reeks of denial,
40
00:01:29,266 --> 00:01:32,700
If denial smelled like b.O.
Mixed with truffle honey.
41
00:01:32,769 --> 00:01:34,169
Mm-hm!
42
00:01:34,171 --> 00:01:37,104
Uh, in any case,
lidia bennett is dead,
43
00:01:37,141 --> 00:01:40,308
So... One of you
needs to get in.
44
00:01:43,347 --> 00:01:45,180
It's not gonna be me.
I'm not getting in there.
45
00:01:45,315 --> 00:01:46,882
No, I'm too buzzed to die.
46
00:01:47,017 --> 00:01:48,683
I just had my roots done.
47
00:01:48,719 --> 00:01:51,486
Uh, think of it as a nap
you never have to wake up from.
48
00:01:51,488 --> 00:01:53,388
Think of it
as an alternative to botox.
49
00:01:53,390 --> 00:01:54,656
[gasps]
50
00:01:54,725 --> 00:01:56,291
I just started
having good sex again!
51
00:01:56,293 --> 00:01:58,226
Oh my god, when did
we stop having good sex?
52
00:01:58,361 --> 00:02:00,195
-Hey, poser.
What is that, pleather?
53
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:01,262
-A little old for that shit...
54
00:02:02,399 --> 00:02:03,665
Oh, I'm sorry,
do you have a smoking hot biker
55
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:05,333
With rock-hard abs taking you
for the ride of your life?
56
00:02:05,468 --> 00:02:06,934
- I don't think so!
- I have claustrophobia!
57
00:02:06,970 --> 00:02:08,069
Why don't you chill,
madison avenue?
58
00:02:08,138 --> 00:02:09,204
Get in there, you bougie bitch!
59
00:02:09,339 --> 00:02:10,205
I'm not getting in there!
60
00:02:11,408 --> 00:02:12,207
Why don't you, uh,
take those pointy stilettos
61
00:02:12,342 --> 00:02:13,975
And shove 'em right up your ass?
62
00:02:13,977 --> 00:02:15,310
- Take a shower!
- Slob!
63
00:02:15,445 --> 00:02:17,045
- Slacker!
- Die, old lady!
64
00:02:17,047 --> 00:02:19,146
["bad side of the moon"
by April wine playing]
65
00:02:19,183 --> 00:02:22,149
? this is my life, my life
66
00:02:22,186 --> 00:02:24,485
? this is my life,
this is my life ?
67
00:02:24,521 --> 00:02:26,320
? this is my life, my life
68
00:02:27,925 --> 00:02:33,895
?
69
00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:38,232
[seagulls calling]
70
00:02:38,268 --> 00:02:42,103
?
71
00:02:42,105 --> 00:02:45,840
?
72
00:02:45,842 --> 00:02:48,176
?
73
00:02:48,311 --> 00:02:51,078
[seagulls calling]
74
00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:02,257
[sound of coffee pouring]
75
00:03:04,361 --> 00:03:06,928
Oxford, you're alive!
76
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:08,996
- Barely!
- [laughs]
77
00:03:09,032 --> 00:03:12,000
-Um, thanks for having me.
78
00:03:12,069 --> 00:03:14,202
-Wait, wait, wait, wait,
where are you going?
79
00:03:14,204 --> 00:03:15,937
I thought we had fun.
80
00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:17,472
Yeah, I...
81
00:03:17,541 --> 00:03:19,073
We did.
82
00:03:19,109 --> 00:03:20,241
Um, I did.
83
00:03:20,277 --> 00:03:21,476
Oh, I know.
84
00:03:21,545 --> 00:03:23,878
- I was there.
- [chuckles]
85
00:03:23,914 --> 00:03:25,213
Yes, you were!
86
00:03:25,348 --> 00:03:28,316
Um, but I really
should get going.
87
00:03:28,385 --> 00:03:29,850
Right.
88
00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:30,952
If your boss finds out
you've been
89
00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:33,354
Fraternizing with the enemy...
90
00:03:33,390 --> 00:03:36,224
Well, at least
stay for a coffee.
91
00:03:36,359 --> 00:03:37,826
Barista much?
92
00:03:37,961 --> 00:03:39,894
Well, life's too short
to drink caffeinated mud water.
93
00:03:39,963 --> 00:03:42,897
How do you take it?
94
00:03:42,966 --> 00:03:43,999
Cream.
95
00:03:44,134 --> 00:03:45,066
- Huh.
- Yeah, just a splash.
96
00:03:46,369 --> 00:03:47,836
Yeah, I had you pegged
as an oat milk kind of guy.
97
00:03:47,971 --> 00:03:49,904
Almond in a pinch.
98
00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:52,907
But I also thought you were
harry styles until last night.
99
00:03:52,976 --> 00:03:54,109
[laughs]
100
00:03:54,111 --> 00:03:56,911
Well, you know,
I'm black, and, uh,
101
00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:59,481
The accent was terrible,
so if you did, that's on you.
102
00:03:59,483 --> 00:04:02,216
- I blame the rum.
- Oh, yeah?
103
00:04:02,286 --> 00:04:03,918
Hey, so, um...
104
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,553
That crazy drunk blonde chick,
105
00:04:05,622 --> 00:04:07,889
Hashtag "crowdsurfingfail"...
106
00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,590
You know her?
107
00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:12,360
Sort of...
108
00:04:12,362 --> 00:04:14,329
Do you think you could, uh...
Make an introduction?
109
00:04:14,464 --> 00:04:16,531
She's got exactly what I need.
110
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,067
Confidence to wear
a bathrobe in public?
111
00:04:19,136 --> 00:04:20,935
Taste.
112
00:04:20,937 --> 00:04:24,339
Look, I couldn't put my finger
on why my concept sucked
113
00:04:24,341 --> 00:04:27,876
Or how to fix it until that
crazy lady in the bathrobe
114
00:04:28,011 --> 00:04:30,011
Waved her magic sharpie.
115
00:04:30,146 --> 00:04:31,879
That chick's a bad-ass.
116
00:04:31,948 --> 00:04:33,114
She's something!
117
00:04:33,116 --> 00:04:34,915
So do you think she's available?
118
00:04:34,951 --> 00:04:36,551
Um, I actually...
119
00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:39,153
I think she's on...
Sabbatical or something.
120
00:04:39,222 --> 00:04:41,289
Codeword for "unemployed"?
121
00:04:41,291 --> 00:04:42,557
Sweet!
122
00:04:42,626 --> 00:04:45,626
Could you, uh,
put in a good word, talk me up?
123
00:04:45,662 --> 00:04:47,896
As you know, I'm a lot of fun.
124
00:04:48,031 --> 00:04:51,032
?
125
00:04:54,638 --> 00:04:56,571
Holy shit.
126
00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,207
Better than sex.
127
00:05:00,243 --> 00:05:01,976
Not even close.
128
00:05:02,112 --> 00:05:03,545
?
129
00:05:03,547 --> 00:05:04,512
Nora: [murmuring]
and this...
130
00:05:04,581 --> 00:05:07,549
Where the... Is my...?
131
00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:09,417
It's 9 am.
Who died?
132
00:05:09,552 --> 00:05:11,186
What?
133
00:05:11,188 --> 00:05:13,455
-Or am I dead
and this is heaven?
134
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:16,558
You're actually picking
clothes up off the floor.
135
00:05:16,693 --> 00:05:18,126
Oh!
136
00:05:18,261 --> 00:05:20,495
-I could murder you,
if that would help clarify.
137
00:05:20,630 --> 00:05:21,996
It's lidia's birthday.
138
00:05:21,998 --> 00:05:24,999
I'm surprising her
with a day at the spa.
139
00:05:25,068 --> 00:05:26,568
You're taking lidia to the spa?
140
00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:27,668
Yeah, and rhian.
141
00:05:27,704 --> 00:05:29,570
[laughs]
oh!
142
00:05:29,606 --> 00:05:32,674
Okay, I am definitely
in an alternate reality, then.
143
00:05:32,676 --> 00:05:36,277
And it is the perfect set-up
for my first episode
144
00:05:36,346 --> 00:05:39,147
Of my podcast on lidia's,
uh, mid-life crisis.
145
00:05:39,282 --> 00:05:41,616
"feuding sisters drown
each other in a hot tub."
146
00:05:41,685 --> 00:05:44,452
It's true crime
meets family drama...
147
00:05:44,521 --> 00:05:47,021
There's something for everyone!
148
00:05:47,157 --> 00:05:49,557
Ah!
Yes! Okay.
149
00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:51,626
Now I thought
we were going for brunch.
150
00:05:51,628 --> 00:05:54,094
Shit, I forgot.
151
00:05:54,131 --> 00:05:55,396
Uh, dinner?
152
00:05:55,465 --> 00:05:58,032
- Nah, I got a shift.
- Can't you just call it in?
153
00:05:58,034 --> 00:05:59,400
Trade shifts with della
or something?
154
00:05:59,469 --> 00:06:01,136
I can't just skip work, nora.
155
00:06:01,271 --> 00:06:02,871
I'm sure that
runaway ostrich will be okay
156
00:06:03,006 --> 00:06:04,272
For a few more hours.
157
00:06:04,274 --> 00:06:06,207
Oh, you're criticizing my job?
158
00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:08,242
You want to capitalize
off of lidia's breakdown.
159
00:06:08,311 --> 00:06:11,045
-I'm going to tell her,
eventually.
160
00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:12,447
I just, I don't...
161
00:06:12,449 --> 00:06:14,449
I don't want to...
Compromise the integrity of...
162
00:06:14,451 --> 00:06:16,417
Integrity, yeah,
that's a good word.
163
00:06:16,453 --> 00:06:18,019
You know what else
is a good word?
164
00:06:18,154 --> 00:06:19,187
Eat me!
165
00:06:19,256 --> 00:06:20,688
Mature.
166
00:06:20,757 --> 00:06:23,257
I'm getting a shower.
167
00:06:23,326 --> 00:06:25,460
Are we fighting now?
168
00:06:25,462 --> 00:06:26,694
Is this a fight?
169
00:06:28,064 --> 00:06:31,065
Oh, come on, terr, I was just
kidding about the ostrich thing!
170
00:06:31,134 --> 00:06:33,100
Sort of.
171
00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:35,203
[knocking]
172
00:06:40,677 --> 00:06:41,676
Rhian: Can I help you?
173
00:06:41,745 --> 00:06:45,079
Oh, hey.
174
00:06:45,115 --> 00:06:46,413
Banging party last night.
175
00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:48,282
No refunds.
That cheque is cashed and spent,
176
00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:49,484
And the moonshine's not liable
177
00:06:49,486 --> 00:06:51,085
For my sister's
batshit behaviour.
178
00:06:51,087 --> 00:06:52,520
She's gone off the deep end.
179
00:06:52,589 --> 00:06:55,089
[chuckles]
I'll swim in that pool any day.
180
00:06:55,091 --> 00:06:56,491
What does that even mean?
181
00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:59,627
You want to go swimming
with my sister?
182
00:06:59,763 --> 00:07:02,229
-Just, uh, do me a solid
and give this to her for me?
183
00:07:02,265 --> 00:07:03,364
Sure.
184
00:07:03,366 --> 00:07:05,366
I'll do you a solid.
185
00:07:09,806 --> 00:07:11,939
Gracias, amiga.
186
00:07:13,276 --> 00:07:15,710
Wes: Beauty day, huh?
187
00:07:15,779 --> 00:07:20,515
?
188
00:07:20,650 --> 00:07:23,050
[loud crunching]
189
00:07:23,119 --> 00:07:26,053
[radio plays quietly
in the background]
190
00:07:26,122 --> 00:07:28,589
Nora: Forty-two, huh?
This year's been pretty insane.
191
00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:32,660
-Well, craziest
of my life by far,
192
00:07:32,696 --> 00:07:35,230
And that's including the year
I took up perineum sunning.
193
00:07:35,365 --> 00:07:36,531
- Perineum, isn't that your...
- my asshole?
194
00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:38,333
Yeah.
I burnt it.
195
00:07:38,335 --> 00:07:40,068
Found out the hard way
there's a reason
196
00:07:40,203 --> 00:07:41,636
It's where the sun don't shine.
197
00:07:41,638 --> 00:07:43,605
-Have you ever, um,
considered sharing
198
00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:47,642
All that lived experience?
199
00:07:47,644 --> 00:07:49,611
Well, the beauty of
living in a small town...
200
00:07:49,746 --> 00:07:51,478
No witnesses!
201
00:07:51,515 --> 00:07:53,248
Pass the ketchup.
202
00:07:53,383 --> 00:07:58,352
It's actually been a relief,
imploding in total obscurity.
203
00:07:58,388 --> 00:07:59,887
- Why?
- Oh, no reason.
204
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:02,289
I thought I remembered you
saying one of your life goals
205
00:08:02,325 --> 00:08:03,758
Was to give a ted talk some day.
206
00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:06,294
That sounds like me!
The old me.
207
00:08:06,363 --> 00:08:08,763
Current me is happy
to just talk to ted,
208
00:08:08,832 --> 00:08:11,432
The guy who made
this delicious breakfast burrito
209
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:14,335
With extra bacon...
'cause it's my birthday!
210
00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:17,838
About that,
I have something planned.
211
00:08:17,874 --> 00:08:18,973
-Oh, that's really sweet,
212
00:08:20,243 --> 00:08:21,508
But I'm not really in the mood
to celebrate this year.
213
00:08:21,545 --> 00:08:23,844
My big plan consists
of finishing this burrito
214
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,481
And then sleeping till
it's not my birthday anymore.
215
00:08:27,551 --> 00:08:30,250
So what I'm hearing is
that you want to relax.
216
00:08:30,287 --> 00:08:32,119
Um, something restorative?
217
00:08:32,188 --> 00:08:33,688
Rhian: Ani?
Hi, it's me.
218
00:08:33,823 --> 00:08:36,791
Uh, call me back.
219
00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:39,326
Those beers
are going on your tab.
220
00:08:39,362 --> 00:08:41,462
- But it's my birthday!
- Big whoop.
221
00:08:41,598 --> 00:08:43,464
Get back to me when you
have a business to save,
222
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:45,800
A hotel to sabotage,
and two infants to keep alive
223
00:08:45,869 --> 00:08:47,802
With a miracle fluid that
you make with your body.
224
00:08:47,804 --> 00:08:50,237
Nora: Hey, you sound
stressed, rhian.
225
00:08:50,273 --> 00:08:52,473
When was the last time you just
took some time for yourself?
226
00:08:52,475 --> 00:08:53,607
-October 2011.
227
00:08:54,911 --> 00:08:56,377
I took a day course on how
to properly gut and clean trout.
228
00:08:56,413 --> 00:08:57,778
- Ugh.
- Well, it is high time
229
00:08:57,780 --> 00:09:00,214
For another break,
and since it is lidia's birthday
230
00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:04,485
I am taking you both for
a day of rest and relaxation
231
00:09:04,554 --> 00:09:05,753
At lo�fga!
232
00:09:05,789 --> 00:09:08,189
-Lo�fga?
What the hell is that?
233
00:09:08,258 --> 00:09:09,890
Sounds like a dresser from ikea.
234
00:09:09,926 --> 00:09:11,826
It is a scandinavian spa
in chester
235
00:09:11,895 --> 00:09:13,427
That I am treating you both to.
236
00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:15,229
Surprise!
237
00:09:15,265 --> 00:09:17,698
It's sister spa day, bitches!
238
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:20,534
[snapping fingers]
239
00:09:25,575 --> 00:09:29,444
?
240
00:09:29,446 --> 00:09:33,781
?
241
00:09:33,783 --> 00:09:36,784
Rhian: You've gotta think of
solo parenting like war.
242
00:09:36,919 --> 00:09:38,886
Except instead of
battling a foreign enemy,
243
00:09:38,888 --> 00:09:41,255
You're battling crippling
exhaustion, self-doubt,
244
00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:43,857
And fecal matter.
245
00:09:43,893 --> 00:09:45,726
This is the journal
246
00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:47,395
Where I record
everything that they do,
247
00:09:47,530 --> 00:09:48,663
And I mean everything.
248
00:09:48,798 --> 00:09:50,331
Poop, pee,
and everything in between.
249
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,333
What's in between poop and pee?
250
00:09:52,468 --> 00:09:55,870
Oh, here.
I made a legend.
251
00:09:55,939 --> 00:09:57,605
How long are you going for?
252
00:09:57,674 --> 00:09:58,473
Not that it matters.
253
00:09:59,576 --> 00:10:00,408
You could stay overnight,
for all I care.
254
00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:01,476
You're not, are you?
255
00:10:01,611 --> 00:10:03,411
I will be home by 5.
256
00:10:03,413 --> 00:10:05,212
There is enough breast milk in
the freezer for the apocalypse,
257
00:10:05,281 --> 00:10:07,214
And if shit really hits the fan,
dad's around.
258
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,149
He has experience with twins.
259
00:10:08,284 --> 00:10:09,417
I'll be fine.
260
00:10:09,552 --> 00:10:10,952
You go on and have fun.
261
00:10:10,954 --> 00:10:12,220
I'll be fine.
262
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:13,554
-Are you sure you
can handle this?
263
00:10:13,623 --> 00:10:15,389
Because I don't have to go.
264
00:10:15,425 --> 00:10:17,358
Although the thought of
peeing without two babies
265
00:10:17,427 --> 00:10:19,527
Strapped to me sounds like
a five-star vacation.
266
00:10:19,529 --> 00:10:20,794
I got this.
267
00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:23,263
Journal, zombie breast milk,
fecal matter.
268
00:10:23,299 --> 00:10:24,532
Now scram.
269
00:10:24,534 --> 00:10:26,300
I don't want you back
before 5, or else.
270
00:10:26,336 --> 00:10:27,902
- Okay?
- Thank you.
271
00:10:27,904 --> 00:10:29,570
Okay, go.
Go, go, go!
272
00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:30,838
Goodbye!
273
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,707
Say, "bye-bye, mommy!"
274
00:10:32,842 --> 00:10:34,709
Bye, mommy!
275
00:10:34,711 --> 00:10:36,910
Bye-bye, mommy...
276
00:10:36,946 --> 00:10:40,914
?
277
00:10:44,788 --> 00:10:47,355
They have you
raking seaweed, too?
278
00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:51,325
Nope, seaweed management
is just a passion of mine.
279
00:10:51,327 --> 00:10:53,227
- Oh.
- Yeah.
280
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,729
Uh, what are you doing here?
281
00:10:54,864 --> 00:10:57,331
I'm looking for you.
282
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,400
We just saw
each other two hours ago.
283
00:10:59,535 --> 00:11:00,635
Hmm, felt longer.
284
00:11:00,770 --> 00:11:02,403
Says the one not raking seaweed.
285
00:11:02,405 --> 00:11:03,738
[chuckles]
286
00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,606
Can you escape this afternoon
287
00:11:05,675 --> 00:11:08,175
Or will this make or break
the moonshine?
288
00:11:10,947 --> 00:11:13,748
Um...
289
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:15,349
You know what?
290
00:11:15,385 --> 00:11:16,484
- I'm in.
- Yeah?
291
00:11:16,553 --> 00:11:17,918
Yeah.
Let's go!
292
00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,487
- Right now?
- Yeah, let's go.
293
00:11:19,556 --> 00:11:20,688
Right now.
294
00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:22,356
Oh, you are
so obsessed with me!
295
00:11:22,358 --> 00:11:24,224
Hey, come on, slow down!
296
00:11:24,260 --> 00:11:28,629
[calm ambient music]
297
00:11:28,765 --> 00:11:32,433
Woman: Welcome to lo�fga.
Enjoy your stay.
298
00:11:32,435 --> 00:11:34,302
Operation nyc mommy goes bad
299
00:11:34,437 --> 00:11:36,571
Slash find a better
podcast title commence.
300
00:11:36,706 --> 00:11:39,574
Okay, this is nora finley-cullen
outside a touchy-feely
301
00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:42,843
Faux-scando spa in the middle
of the canadian wilderness.
302
00:11:42,979 --> 00:11:44,245
The smell?
303
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:47,014
Uh, chlorine,
eucalyptus, and tears!
304
00:11:47,016 --> 00:11:49,250
I hope.
305
00:11:49,385 --> 00:11:50,751
Hello.
306
00:11:55,859 --> 00:11:57,592
Uh, you know
I love a good spa day
307
00:11:57,727 --> 00:11:59,460
As much as the next person,
308
00:11:59,462 --> 00:12:00,928
If the next person
is someone who loves spa days,
309
00:12:01,063 --> 00:12:03,330
But why the sudden
interest in self-care?
310
00:12:03,366 --> 00:12:04,865
Yeah.
Like, what is going on, nora?
311
00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:06,934
This is the most un-you
place I've ever seen.
312
00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:09,737
Spa worker: Excuse me.
313
00:12:09,806 --> 00:12:12,306
Okay.
Alexis, hi.
314
00:12:12,308 --> 00:12:15,543
We're gonna be talking a lot
because I haven't been around
315
00:12:15,545 --> 00:12:18,345
Other adults in four months
and this is my one afternoon off
316
00:12:18,414 --> 00:12:21,348
So maybe now is a good time
for you to take your "namaste"
317
00:12:21,384 --> 00:12:23,518
And shove it up your ass!
318
00:12:23,653 --> 00:12:26,353
Nora: Listen, can't a sister
do something special
319
00:12:26,422 --> 00:12:28,623
For her sister
on her birthday...
320
00:12:28,758 --> 00:12:29,957
With her other sister?
321
00:12:30,092 --> 00:12:32,393
Lidia: We don't exactly
come from a long line
322
00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:33,327
Of big birthday celebrations.
323
00:12:34,397 --> 00:12:35,296
Mom used to take us
to bridgewater mall
324
00:12:35,431 --> 00:12:36,763
And tell us it was disneyland.
325
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,567
-Yeah, and the rat in
the food court was mickey mouse.
326
00:12:39,569 --> 00:12:40,635
-Spas are your thing.
327
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:42,503
I thought this was
the perfect present.
328
00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:44,772
I thought I was being
super thoughtful.
329
00:12:44,774 --> 00:12:46,507
-Well, I appreciate
your thoughtfulness,
330
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,709
But that was the old lidia!
331
00:12:48,778 --> 00:12:51,879
The new lidia is no frills,
low maintenance!
332
00:12:52,015 --> 00:12:54,281
She's not saving things,
fixing things.
333
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:57,985
She definitely does not
need a... Pfft!
334
00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:01,923
Natural sugar scrub,
aloe eye treatment, or...
335
00:13:02,058 --> 00:13:04,925
Oh, a dead sea mud wrap?
I am a sucker for a mud wrap.
336
00:13:04,994 --> 00:13:06,594
Holy shitballs!
337
00:13:06,729 --> 00:13:09,997
$275 to get wet dirt
smeared on your skin?
338
00:13:10,132 --> 00:13:12,099
- Mm-hm.
- We could have mud wraps.
339
00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:14,869
Moonshine's got mud for days.
340
00:13:14,938 --> 00:13:17,070
Shit, I think
I forgot my swimsuit.
341
00:13:17,106 --> 00:13:22,076
Oh, hey...
I brought extra.
342
00:13:22,145 --> 00:13:23,377
Matches mine.
343
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,012
Catch!
344
00:13:26,649 --> 00:13:28,416
Thanks?
345
00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:31,018
?
346
00:13:31,153 --> 00:13:33,721
This is your fault.
347
00:13:33,723 --> 00:13:35,088
That is something.
348
00:13:35,124 --> 00:13:37,591
?
349
00:13:37,627 --> 00:13:43,698
[babies fussing]
350
00:13:45,802 --> 00:13:48,101
He didn't seem
in his right mind last night.
351
00:13:48,137 --> 00:13:49,770
Now this.
352
00:13:49,839 --> 00:13:52,039
Ryan: I looked better
when I checked into rehab...
353
00:13:52,174 --> 00:13:54,909
For the third time.
354
00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:58,445
Raising children can
break the strongest man.
355
00:13:58,481 --> 00:14:01,649
I remember when I got burnt out
from looking after you guys,
356
00:14:01,651 --> 00:14:02,850
I needed some spirit healing.
357
00:14:02,919 --> 00:14:05,452
I'd find a quiet, zen spot.
358
00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:06,987
Meditate.
359
00:14:07,123 --> 00:14:08,589
Get blotto on weed.
360
00:14:08,658 --> 00:14:10,057
[laughs]
361
00:14:10,192 --> 00:14:12,025
So who'd watch us?
362
00:14:12,061 --> 00:14:15,897
I'd still look after you,
just baked out of my gourd.
363
00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:18,032
- Hmm.
- I miss the old weed.
364
00:14:18,101 --> 00:14:20,935
Back in the day, you could
smoke a whole joint by yourself
365
00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:22,903
And just sail away.
366
00:14:25,207 --> 00:14:26,807
What were we talking about?
367
00:14:26,876 --> 00:14:29,142
Gettin' baked.
368
00:14:29,178 --> 00:14:31,078
And oscar!
369
00:14:31,213 --> 00:14:33,514
- Right!
- [babies crying]
370
00:14:33,516 --> 00:14:34,682
Oscar: Go to sleep...
371
00:14:34,751 --> 00:14:37,084
- Ken: Poor bastard.
- Oscar: Go to sleep...
372
00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:39,120
Go to sleep little twins...
373
00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:41,088
Hey there, son.
374
00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:43,357
How you doing?
375
00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:46,493
It might help to
talk about how you feel.
376
00:14:46,529 --> 00:14:49,964
Or we could just have
a cold one in silence.
377
00:14:49,966 --> 00:14:52,899
It's up to you.
378
00:14:52,936 --> 00:14:55,503
You ever felt like you didn't
know who you were anymore?
379
00:14:55,638 --> 00:14:58,839
Then you realize,
maybe you never did.
380
00:14:58,908 --> 00:15:02,142
Oscar wallace
is my third name change.
381
00:15:02,211 --> 00:15:04,077
Yeah!
382
00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:06,580
Ryan: Oh...!
383
00:15:06,582 --> 00:15:08,515
We might be able to help you!
384
00:15:08,584 --> 00:15:10,584
I will do anything!
385
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:12,053
Just please don't tell rhian.
386
00:15:12,055 --> 00:15:13,720
She's already got
a lot on her plate.
387
00:15:13,756 --> 00:15:15,056
I don't want to burden her.
388
00:15:15,058 --> 00:15:17,024
I've just gotta fix myself...
389
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:20,227
Whichever myself that is.
390
00:15:20,229 --> 00:15:22,730
When we're done,
you'll know who you are,
391
00:15:22,799 --> 00:15:24,832
Once and for all.
392
00:15:24,901 --> 00:15:26,567
Okay!
393
00:15:26,569 --> 00:15:28,802
?
394
00:15:28,838 --> 00:15:32,406
[calm ambient music]
395
00:15:36,179 --> 00:15:38,512
Rhian: Oh my god,
this feels amazing.
396
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:41,549
- I haven't had a bath since...
- November 1999?
397
00:15:41,684 --> 00:15:43,817
Since the twins were born.
398
00:15:43,853 --> 00:15:45,619
Showering isn't
really an option, either.
399
00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:47,722
- Ahh!
- How do you not stink?
400
00:15:47,857 --> 00:15:49,557
Gimme 30 seconds
with a washcloth
401
00:15:49,692 --> 00:15:51,759
And I'm fresh as a daisy!
402
00:15:51,761 --> 00:15:54,662
If a daisy smelled slightly
of three-day-old breast milk.
403
00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:56,730
You did shower before
you got in here, though...
404
00:15:56,766 --> 00:15:58,265
...Yes?
405
00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:59,533
I didn't!
406
00:15:59,602 --> 00:16:04,438
- Neither did I!
- [laughter]
407
00:16:04,573 --> 00:16:07,174
Rhian: Oh, I for one
am loving this new lidia.
408
00:16:07,309 --> 00:16:09,076
I hope she's here to stay.
409
00:16:09,112 --> 00:16:12,113
- Thank you, rhian.
- The balance has been restored.
410
00:16:12,115 --> 00:16:14,882
It's like in the matriarchal
society of the bonobo in congo,
411
00:16:14,951 --> 00:16:17,718
There can never be two
alpha females in the same troop
412
00:16:17,787 --> 00:16:19,720
Or they will rip
each other's eyes out!
413
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,255
Right!
414
00:16:21,324 --> 00:16:22,355
Like...
415
00:16:23,559 --> 00:16:25,793
Uh, is it like when, um...
Lidia came back to foxton
416
00:16:25,795 --> 00:16:27,928
For the first time
and inherited half the moonshine
417
00:16:28,063 --> 00:16:30,064
And then she tried to
take over goddess fest?
418
00:16:30,066 --> 00:16:31,799
Like... But like that?
419
00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:34,301
-Oh, you mean the event
where I found out that you were
420
00:16:34,303 --> 00:16:37,971
Screwing my husband, which led
to a goat eating my ring finger?
421
00:16:38,007 --> 00:16:39,973
Lidia: Whoa, that was brutal.
422
00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:43,043
Makes my hijacking an 18-wheeler
seem like child's play!
423
00:16:43,046 --> 00:16:45,679
You're the one who should be
wearing a police monitor, nor!
424
00:16:45,681 --> 00:16:46,714
On your vag!
425
00:16:46,849 --> 00:16:48,249
[laughter]
426
00:16:48,251 --> 00:16:50,885
It's called a chastity belt,
ya slut!
427
00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:53,653
[laughter]
428
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:56,424
Rhian: Come here!
Yeah!
429
00:16:58,661 --> 00:17:01,161
Ken: Behold, the hyphening!
430
00:17:01,297 --> 00:17:02,295
The what-ening?
431
00:17:03,599 --> 00:17:04,231
You may not believe it,
but there used to be a lot of
432
00:17:04,366 --> 00:17:05,766
Infighting in this family.
433
00:17:05,768 --> 00:17:07,301
-Used to?
Ha!
434
00:17:07,303 --> 00:17:10,904
-What dad means is the finleys
used to fight the cullens.
435
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:13,107
It was two families
sandwiched together,
436
00:17:13,109 --> 00:17:16,310
And that sandwich tasted
a lot like dirt and punching.
437
00:17:16,312 --> 00:17:17,912
When the kids
were in middle school,
438
00:17:17,914 --> 00:17:20,781
The fighting got so bad
that bea and I decided
439
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:22,649
We had to do something
to unite us,
440
00:17:22,718 --> 00:17:24,585
So we hyphenated our names
441
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,789
And let the kids come up
with rituals to commemorate it.
442
00:17:28,791 --> 00:17:30,991
Rhian came up
with the first ritual,
443
00:17:31,027 --> 00:17:32,726
Which was also our family motto:
444
00:17:32,762 --> 00:17:34,728
"nobody messes
with a finley-cullen
445
00:17:34,730 --> 00:17:35,996
"except a finley-cullen."
446
00:17:36,132 --> 00:17:37,331
- [grunting]
- ow!
447
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,067
Ken: Basically, we let the kids
beat the shit out of each other
448
00:17:40,069 --> 00:17:41,368
With sticks until
they passed out.
449
00:17:41,370 --> 00:17:42,636
-Okay, time out!
450
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,138
- Time out!
- Man: Come on!
451
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,672
Can I use the restroom?
452
00:17:45,708 --> 00:17:48,341
One more shot to the kidney
and I might pee myself.
453
00:17:48,377 --> 00:17:51,212
It's not customary...
454
00:17:51,214 --> 00:17:52,679
But I'll allow it.
455
00:17:52,715 --> 00:17:54,281
Thank you!
456
00:17:54,416 --> 00:17:57,084
[mimicking] "it's not customary,
but I'll allow it!"
457
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,293
Ahh!
For the birthday girl.
458
00:18:06,329 --> 00:18:07,828
Thank you, rhian.
459
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,330
Um, I don't get one?
460
00:18:09,332 --> 00:18:13,167
You have hands.
And all ten fingers!
461
00:18:13,302 --> 00:18:14,368
Nora: Speaking of water,
462
00:18:15,705 --> 00:18:17,337
Do you remember when rhian
saran-wrapped the toilet seat
463
00:18:17,406 --> 00:18:19,706
So that when you peed
it went all over
464
00:18:19,742 --> 00:18:21,741
Your new platform skechers
for back to school?
465
00:18:21,777 --> 00:18:23,811
Funny, in retrospect.
466
00:18:23,946 --> 00:18:26,180
Rhian: You seem hyper-focused
on the past, nora,
467
00:18:26,182 --> 00:18:28,048
And frankly, I think
I speak for everyone here
468
00:18:28,117 --> 00:18:29,917
When I say your negativity
is a bummer.
469
00:18:29,986 --> 00:18:31,084
Lidia: Yeah, nor.
470
00:18:31,154 --> 00:18:32,853
Do you need to
take a minute alone?
471
00:18:32,922 --> 00:18:35,722
Maybe go sage yourself
in the cleansing yurt?
472
00:18:35,758 --> 00:18:37,157
Rhian: The yurt's
gonna need the cleansing
473
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,059
After she's been in it.
Am I right?
474
00:18:39,128 --> 00:18:40,227
What!
475
00:18:40,363 --> 00:18:42,762
I don't need sage,
I need tobacco.
476
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:50,074
Do you want subtitles for any video?
-=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-
477
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:55,275
Fine, fine, it's out.
478
00:18:55,411 --> 00:18:57,410
It's out!
Okay?
479
00:18:57,446 --> 00:19:00,047
You're nora finley-cullen,
right?
480
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,749
Yes, I am nora from
milk crate confessionals.
481
00:19:02,818 --> 00:19:04,885
Right.
Can I get a selfie?
482
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:06,787
Sure.
483
00:19:06,856 --> 00:19:08,955
Ah, I don't have my phone on me.
484
00:19:08,991 --> 00:19:10,758
Uh, would you mind?
485
00:19:10,893 --> 00:19:13,360
Oh, uh...
[chuckles awkwardly]
486
00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:16,363
Okay.
Anything for a fan!
487
00:19:16,498 --> 00:19:17,964
I'm not a fan.
488
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,032
[camera shutter clicks]
489
00:19:19,068 --> 00:19:21,035
Uh, okay?
490
00:19:21,037 --> 00:19:23,037
Do you want me to
text this to you or...?
491
00:19:23,172 --> 00:19:26,273
-No.
You can text it to terry.
492
00:19:26,342 --> 00:19:29,243
And tell him nancy says hi.
493
00:19:29,245 --> 00:19:34,114
?
494
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:36,116
Not to be negative, but that...
495
00:19:36,252 --> 00:19:37,784
That was weird, right?
496
00:19:37,820 --> 00:19:39,186
Yup.
497
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:41,055
That was weird.
498
00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:46,460
So what if terry
did cheat on me?
499
00:19:46,529 --> 00:19:47,861
I was gone for ten months.
500
00:19:47,897 --> 00:19:49,496
He has needs.
501
00:19:49,498 --> 00:19:51,865
You don't care that he might
have had sex with someone else?
502
00:19:51,867 --> 00:19:53,133
That's something
you could get over?
503
00:19:53,135 --> 00:19:54,334
Meh, it's just sex.
504
00:19:54,469 --> 00:19:56,202
Unless it's not.
505
00:19:56,239 --> 00:19:57,971
What if he's in love with her?
506
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,808
Her name is nancy.
I'm not worried.
507
00:20:00,943 --> 00:20:03,009
And we don't even know that
he actually cheated yet, so...
508
00:20:03,045 --> 00:20:04,478
-God...
509
00:20:04,547 --> 00:20:06,980
It just occurred to me
that we've all been cheated on.
510
00:20:06,983 --> 00:20:10,417
Daniel did it to me with marcy,
terry did it to rhian with nora,
511
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,853
And now terry's maybe
doing it to nora with nancy.
512
00:20:12,922 --> 00:20:15,222
I mean, what is it about us
that makes men...
513
00:20:15,224 --> 00:20:17,391
More specifically terry...
think they can cheat on us?
514
00:20:17,526 --> 00:20:19,526
Our relationships
were beyond saving.
515
00:20:19,528 --> 00:20:21,861
Nora and terry seemed like
they had a good thing going.
516
00:20:21,897 --> 00:20:23,831
I mean, don't you?
How's your sex life?
517
00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:25,532
- I...
- [moaning in distance]
518
00:20:25,534 --> 00:20:27,101
Not as good as that guy's...
519
00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:28,402
Rhian: Oh, man.
520
00:20:28,537 --> 00:20:31,805
Someone got the handsy masseuse.
521
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:33,139
Go for it.
522
00:20:33,175 --> 00:20:34,508
I won't tell.
523
00:20:34,577 --> 00:20:38,244
Rhian: Ohh, yes!
524
00:20:38,281 --> 00:20:39,780
Mama could get used to this!
525
00:20:39,849 --> 00:20:41,181
Ahh!
526
00:20:41,317 --> 00:20:42,583
It's good to see you relaxing.
527
00:20:42,585 --> 00:20:44,051
-Ahh.
528
00:20:44,186 --> 00:20:46,286
Well, now that mom's
run off and joined the circus
529
00:20:46,289 --> 00:20:49,456
And you've given up,
a real weight's been lifted.
530
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:52,526
-It's not that I've...
Given up, per se.
531
00:20:52,528 --> 00:20:54,327
I'm pivoting.
532
00:20:54,363 --> 00:20:56,196
Rhian: You and I
have traded places.
533
00:20:56,332 --> 00:20:59,366
Rhian has a man,
lidia has no man.
534
00:20:59,368 --> 00:21:02,002
Rhian has two beautiful babies
who depend on her,
535
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:04,604
Lidia has two teenage heathens
who want nothing to do with her.
536
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,075
Rhian is running an empire,
and lidia is an unemployed felon
537
00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:09,543
Squatting
in a broken-down trailer!
538
00:21:09,612 --> 00:21:12,279
Just because I've chosen
to simplify my life
539
00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:13,947
And become less goal-oriented,
540
00:21:13,949 --> 00:21:15,349
It doesn't mean
I'm not gonna crush it.
541
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:18,018
In a non-competitive sense.
542
00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:20,954
Nora: Criticism that
you're feeling, you know,
543
00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:22,956
Coming directly
from your own sister,
544
00:21:23,025 --> 00:21:25,025
- How does that make you feel?
- Criticism?
545
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,194
I just said I was in complete
support of her new lifestyle.
546
00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:28,294
-And what's with
the psychobabble?
547
00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:30,564
Since when do you care
how anyone else is feeling?
548
00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:32,533
-Let's not deflect.
This is not about me, okay?
549
00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:35,535
This is about your
strained relationship with rhian
550
00:21:35,571 --> 00:21:37,471
And what we can
do today to heal,
551
00:21:37,606 --> 00:21:40,273
So let's just have
the difficult conversations.
552
00:21:40,309 --> 00:21:41,675
Let's get messy, ladies!
553
00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:44,043
Um, I'm good!
554
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,078
Lids?
555
00:21:45,147 --> 00:21:49,015
Yeah.
Aces.
556
00:21:49,051 --> 00:21:51,318
Wes: Ohh!
557
00:21:51,453 --> 00:21:53,253
Oh, yeah...
Ooh...
558
00:21:53,255 --> 00:21:55,555
Yeah...
okay, you win.
559
00:21:55,557 --> 00:21:58,592
This definitely
beats raking seaweed.
560
00:21:58,661 --> 00:22:00,394
Yeah, well, you seemed
tense this morning.
561
00:22:00,529 --> 00:22:02,129
And I'm stressing over the build
562
00:22:02,198 --> 00:22:05,932
So I thought we could
both use a massage.
563
00:22:06,001 --> 00:22:07,401
Ooh!
564
00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:10,437
Wes, were we actually supposed
to take off our underwear?
565
00:22:10,572 --> 00:22:13,640
Well, I don't wear any,
so for me it was a no-brainer.
566
00:22:13,642 --> 00:22:17,277
Oh, yeah, right there!
I got a knot or something...
567
00:22:17,346 --> 00:22:18,678
I'm sorry if I'm being weird.
568
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:21,415
This is just my first massage.
569
00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:22,950
- Really?
- Yeah.
570
00:22:23,085 --> 00:22:24,618
Just relax.
Try to enjoy it.
571
00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:27,254
You don't have to do anything.
Okay?
572
00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:28,589
Oh, not you.
573
00:22:28,591 --> 00:22:31,725
Sorry, no, um,
you can actually go harder.
574
00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,426
Oof!
575
00:22:33,462 --> 00:22:35,195
Jesus!
576
00:22:35,197 --> 00:22:37,965
I can't get over the kismet bomb
of last night, you know?
577
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:40,367
I mean, a world-class architect
from new york
578
00:22:40,369 --> 00:22:42,702
Just happens to live next door.
579
00:22:42,738 --> 00:22:47,107
Feels like a sign,
like it's meant to be, right?
580
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:48,675
Uh, yeah.
581
00:22:48,711 --> 00:22:51,511
Well, not everyone around here
is as psyched about this
582
00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:53,113
New resort
being built as you are.
583
00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:54,915
Oh, they will be
once they understand
584
00:22:54,984 --> 00:22:56,382
What I'm trying to do.
585
00:22:56,419 --> 00:22:58,718
I mean, more local business
means more local income.
586
00:22:58,754 --> 00:23:01,354
Wesworld puts foxton on the map,
587
00:23:01,424 --> 00:23:04,324
And then, boom, it's a
destination overnight.
588
00:23:04,326 --> 00:23:06,259
The property value?
It's gonna skyrocket.
589
00:23:06,295 --> 00:23:07,594
The community's
gonna profit big time.
590
00:23:07,630 --> 00:23:09,195
It'll be fine.
591
00:23:09,231 --> 00:23:12,198
That all sounds great in theory,
but I dunno...
592
00:23:12,234 --> 00:23:14,902
I guess I'm just being
protective of the moonshine.
593
00:23:15,037 --> 00:23:17,237
You're acting like it's your
family business or something.
594
00:23:17,372 --> 00:23:20,474
[laughs]
I-I know.
595
00:23:20,476 --> 00:23:23,076
You know, my dad's giving me
one shot to do this my way,
596
00:23:23,078 --> 00:23:25,479
So I've gotta get it right.
597
00:23:25,481 --> 00:23:28,214
You know how it is
with fathers and sons,
598
00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:29,750
They expect too much from you
599
00:23:29,752 --> 00:23:33,153
And then laugh at you
when you fail.
600
00:23:33,155 --> 00:23:35,588
My dad's actually
pretty supportive.
601
00:23:35,624 --> 00:23:37,257
Almost radically hands-off.
602
00:23:37,326 --> 00:23:38,558
[laughs]
really?
603
00:23:38,627 --> 00:23:40,427
Must be nice.
604
00:23:40,562 --> 00:23:43,363
I dunno, I always feel like
I'm caught between what I want
605
00:23:43,432 --> 00:23:47,367
And disappointing my family,
you know?
606
00:23:47,436 --> 00:23:51,438
Yeah, I think I do.
607
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,439
Oh-ho-ho!
608
00:23:52,574 --> 00:23:55,575
?
609
00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:58,545
?
610
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:03,249
?
611
00:24:03,285 --> 00:24:06,253
?
612
00:24:06,388 --> 00:24:07,787
What is this?
613
00:24:07,789 --> 00:24:09,389
Looks like a freebie
from medieval times.
614
00:24:09,458 --> 00:24:11,525
It was, but it also doubles
615
00:24:11,527 --> 00:24:13,393
As the finley-cullen
chalice of understanding.
616
00:24:13,462 --> 00:24:14,795
My idea.
617
00:24:14,797 --> 00:24:17,197
We literally had
the kids drink the kool-aid.
618
00:24:17,332 --> 00:24:19,733
Instead of a ritualistic
mass suicide,
619
00:24:19,802 --> 00:24:22,736
It was to commit
to being a finley-cullen.
620
00:24:22,805 --> 00:24:24,805
I used to put real moonshine
in it back in the day,
621
00:24:24,807 --> 00:24:28,341
But it's the blue kool-aid
that's the magic part.
622
00:24:28,377 --> 00:24:29,743
Drink up, brother!
623
00:24:29,812 --> 00:24:32,412
Alright...
624
00:24:32,414 --> 00:24:35,082
Ugh.
625
00:24:35,217 --> 00:24:38,218
?
626
00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:40,420
?
627
00:24:40,422 --> 00:24:42,289
Oh.
[burps]
628
00:24:43,826 --> 00:24:45,625
How do you feel?
629
00:24:45,661 --> 00:24:47,094
A little sore from the beating.
630
00:24:47,229 --> 00:24:49,629
- Ritual.
- Right, ritual.
631
00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:52,632
And, uh, like I have to pee
again, but other than that,
632
00:24:52,768 --> 00:24:55,235
Pretty much the same
as I did this morning.
633
00:24:55,237 --> 00:24:59,239
Uh, but I really want to thank
you guys for trying to help me.
634
00:24:59,374 --> 00:25:00,707
It really does mean a lot.
635
00:25:00,776 --> 00:25:04,177
We are not done yet!
636
00:25:04,179 --> 00:25:07,013
Time to get reborn.
637
00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:13,186
[calm ambient music]
638
00:25:13,188 --> 00:25:14,755
That, uh, looks refreshing.
639
00:25:14,757 --> 00:25:16,356
[chuckles]
icy.
640
00:25:16,358 --> 00:25:18,658
-[chuckles]
641
00:25:18,694 --> 00:25:20,193
I have to tell you something.
642
00:25:20,195 --> 00:25:21,595
Um...
643
00:25:21,730 --> 00:25:23,430
Maybe I should
have told you earlier.
644
00:25:23,432 --> 00:25:25,332
What, you don't like
dave matthews band?
645
00:25:25,401 --> 00:25:26,800
[laughs]
not as much as you do.
646
00:25:26,869 --> 00:25:28,535
But I don't think anyone does.
647
00:25:28,537 --> 00:25:32,773
Um, it's about...
648
00:25:32,775 --> 00:25:34,641
How much I love a good sauna!
649
00:25:34,710 --> 00:25:37,877
Shall we?
650
00:25:37,879 --> 00:25:39,546
Lidia: What is going on
with you today?
651
00:25:39,615 --> 00:25:41,148
And don't say
it's the terry thing.
652
00:25:41,283 --> 00:25:43,617
It's almost like you want
rhian and I to fight.
653
00:25:43,619 --> 00:25:45,485
-That's ridiculous.
Why would I want that?
654
00:25:45,554 --> 00:25:46,620
It's your birthday.
655
00:25:46,755 --> 00:25:48,722
Oh, yes, it is my birthday,
656
00:25:48,791 --> 00:25:50,290
And the first moment
of self-care
657
00:25:50,425 --> 00:25:51,624
I've had in over a year,
658
00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:53,860
So I'd love to try
to enjoy what's left of it.
659
00:25:53,896 --> 00:25:56,229
Rhian: Some bitch just tried to
take the last cucumber water
660
00:25:56,231 --> 00:25:57,764
So I wrestled her
to the ground for it.
661
00:25:57,766 --> 00:25:59,566
Frickin' love the spa!
Never felt so zen!
662
00:25:59,701 --> 00:26:01,234
Lidia: You know what?
663
00:26:01,236 --> 00:26:03,169
I'm gonna take a little
time out in the sauna.
664
00:26:03,238 --> 00:26:07,307
Alone.
665
00:26:07,309 --> 00:26:09,609
Ugh.
666
00:26:11,246 --> 00:26:13,313
Huh...
Hi, sammy.
667
00:26:13,448 --> 00:26:14,648
Hey!
668
00:26:14,650 --> 00:26:16,316
What are you doing here?
669
00:26:16,451 --> 00:26:18,785
Uh, sweating?
670
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:21,187
You sprung for a spa day?
671
00:26:21,256 --> 00:26:22,789
That's not like you.
672
00:26:22,825 --> 00:26:25,392
Well, yeah, I mean, I just
like wanted to treat myself
673
00:26:25,461 --> 00:26:27,260
And, like, take
some time to unwind.
674
00:26:27,262 --> 00:26:31,731
-Oh... I guess oxford
really did make you posh.
675
00:26:33,669 --> 00:26:37,203
- What are you doing here?
- I'm stalking you.
676
00:26:37,272 --> 00:26:40,340
No, I'm just kidding.
But I am glad to run into you.
677
00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:42,442
Wait, so you guys
do know each other?
678
00:26:42,511 --> 00:26:45,445
Lidia: Yeah, we do.
How... Do you know sammy?
679
00:26:47,850 --> 00:26:50,283
Oh my god.
680
00:26:50,285 --> 00:26:54,421
Our family's mortal enemy
is mr. Relaxing afternoon?
681
00:27:04,299 --> 00:27:06,866
Sammy: Yes, okay... yes.
Alright, I-I...
682
00:27:06,902 --> 00:27:09,302
Wes and I hooked up
like a handful of times,
683
00:27:09,338 --> 00:27:12,639
But I didn't know that he was
like "wes" of wesworld.
684
00:27:12,641 --> 00:27:16,242
And he didn't know that I'm
not just a moonshine employee,
685
00:27:16,311 --> 00:27:18,678
I'm a finley-cullen.
686
00:27:18,747 --> 00:27:23,383
Um, and I know lidia very well
because she is my sister.
687
00:27:23,385 --> 00:27:25,752
[exhales in shock]
688
00:27:25,887 --> 00:27:28,455
Technically his aunt.
Long story.
689
00:27:28,590 --> 00:27:32,659
Um, look, I was about
to tell you but I-I just...
690
00:27:32,794 --> 00:27:35,395
Lied about who you were?
691
00:27:35,530 --> 00:27:36,663
Twice.
692
00:27:36,665 --> 00:27:38,265
[exhales]
693
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,466
Lidia: Okay, uh,
694
00:27:40,502 --> 00:27:42,602
Since we're in confession mode,
695
00:27:42,738 --> 00:27:44,671
This is probably a good time
for me to apologize
696
00:27:44,806 --> 00:27:46,673
About last night.
697
00:27:46,675 --> 00:27:50,410
I was, uh, really high,
698
00:27:50,545 --> 00:27:53,613
And I'm pretty sure
I said some terrible things.
699
00:27:53,682 --> 00:27:55,815
True but terrible.
700
00:27:55,951 --> 00:27:58,384
I still think your design
sucks sober, but...
701
00:27:58,454 --> 00:28:00,954
Sorry it sucks?
702
00:28:01,089 --> 00:28:03,390
I actually agree with you.
703
00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:04,925
You do?
704
00:28:04,927 --> 00:28:09,262
Yeah, and I think you're the
perfect person to un-suckify it.
705
00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:11,965
Look, I did some light internet
creeping and I dug up
706
00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:15,435
Your old thesis paper on,
um, biophilic design theory.
707
00:28:15,570 --> 00:28:17,637
What?
That's online now?
708
00:28:17,706 --> 00:28:19,839
Wow, it's just been so long
I can't even remember
709
00:28:19,975 --> 00:28:21,641
- What I wrote.
- I loved it.
710
00:28:21,643 --> 00:28:23,376
You know, especially
the part about, um,
711
00:28:23,378 --> 00:28:25,378
Bio-mimicry as the...
712
00:28:25,414 --> 00:28:27,380
Future of sustainable design?
Or something.
713
00:28:27,416 --> 00:28:29,449
I don't know.
I can't remember!
714
00:28:29,584 --> 00:28:31,785
-Look, it's exactly in line
with what I'm thinking,
715
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,787
Which is why I made you that
offer, to help me, you know,
716
00:28:34,789 --> 00:28:36,056
Redesign my resort from scratch.
717
00:28:36,058 --> 00:28:37,824
What?
When?
718
00:28:37,826 --> 00:28:38,959
This morning.
719
00:28:38,961 --> 00:28:40,694
- Didn't you get my note?
- No.
720
00:28:40,829 --> 00:28:44,231
I left it with, um, rhian?
721
00:28:44,366 --> 00:28:47,033
- Sammy: Oh, god.
- Wes: Intense, clipboard.
722
00:28:47,035 --> 00:28:48,835
She said she'd
make sure you got it.
723
00:28:48,904 --> 00:28:52,739
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
724
00:28:52,874 --> 00:28:57,978
I'm so flattered, I just need
a sec, uh, to circle back.
725
00:28:58,113 --> 00:29:01,514
I'm just gonna go grab some
more, um, cucumber water.
726
00:29:01,583 --> 00:29:03,016
You got two glasses right there.
727
00:29:03,018 --> 00:29:04,417
Oh, that's...
oh, ah!
728
00:29:04,553 --> 00:29:06,987
[sizzling]
729
00:29:07,122 --> 00:29:08,755
[door slams]
730
00:29:11,092 --> 00:29:12,959
Rhian: Hey, sis.
Feeling refreshed?
731
00:29:12,995 --> 00:29:14,928
-Did wes give you a note for me?
732
00:29:14,930 --> 00:29:17,964
I can't remember.
My mom brains... Pssh!
733
00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:20,433
Can't even think of the word
because my mom brain.
734
00:29:20,435 --> 00:29:21,901
Bullshit.
735
00:29:21,970 --> 00:29:25,705
- You didn't tell me on purpose.
- Because he's our nemesis.
736
00:29:25,707 --> 00:29:26,973
What does it matter, anyway?
737
00:29:26,975 --> 00:29:29,108
I mean, you wouldn't
have taken the job.
738
00:29:29,144 --> 00:29:31,711
Wait... Would you have?
739
00:29:31,713 --> 00:29:33,579
-No, of course not!
740
00:29:33,615 --> 00:29:36,916
But still, this is
a high-profile job, okay?
741
00:29:36,985 --> 00:29:39,685
Maybe the most important offer
I've gotten in two decades.
742
00:29:39,721 --> 00:29:41,521
This is the kind of job
that could get me
743
00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:42,722
My own magazine cover!
744
00:29:42,724 --> 00:29:44,724
-Oh, lidia, lidia, lidia...
745
00:29:44,793 --> 00:29:46,893
Perfect magazine cover lidia!
746
00:29:47,028 --> 00:29:49,629
You're never gonna be on
the cover of a magazine again
747
00:29:49,631 --> 00:29:51,665
Unless it's the foxton gazette
for public indecency.
748
00:29:51,667 --> 00:29:53,532
- [gasps]
- your perfect life is poof,
749
00:29:53,569 --> 00:29:55,635
So just let it go!
750
00:29:55,704 --> 00:29:59,739
And for the love of god,
stop fighting it!
751
00:29:59,808 --> 00:30:01,141
Ha!
752
00:30:01,143 --> 00:30:05,011
Oh, you would love that,
wouldn't you?
753
00:30:05,013 --> 00:30:07,847
If I just slunk off
into the darkness.
754
00:30:07,883 --> 00:30:09,615
That way you're
the only one in the sun.
755
00:30:09,651 --> 00:30:11,084
This was never about
being happy for me,
756
00:30:11,153 --> 00:30:12,619
This was always about you.
757
00:30:12,688 --> 00:30:13,886
Would that be so terrible?
758
00:30:13,922 --> 00:30:16,389
For once, to let it be about me?
759
00:30:16,524 --> 00:30:18,158
To let me have
something that you don't?
760
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:19,792
For you to live in my shadow?
761
00:30:19,862 --> 00:30:21,160
Oh, please,
like I've never done that.
762
00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:22,762
You don't even want what I have.
763
00:30:22,831 --> 00:30:24,864
You just can't handle
that I have something you don't!
764
00:30:24,900 --> 00:30:27,700
- Alexis: [clears throat]
- both: Piss off!
765
00:30:27,769 --> 00:30:30,803
?
766
00:30:30,873 --> 00:30:35,908
["free bird"
by lynyrd skynyrd playing]
767
00:30:35,944 --> 00:30:39,913
?
768
00:30:40,048 --> 00:30:43,616
?
769
00:30:43,685 --> 00:30:47,454
?
770
00:30:47,589 --> 00:30:50,790
?
771
00:30:50,859 --> 00:30:54,627
?
772
00:30:54,630 --> 00:30:58,431
?
773
00:30:58,566 --> 00:31:02,735
?
774
00:31:02,771 --> 00:31:06,539
?
775
00:31:06,575 --> 00:31:10,944
?
776
00:31:10,946 --> 00:31:14,613
?
777
00:31:14,650 --> 00:31:18,084
?
778
00:31:18,086 --> 00:31:21,020
?
779
00:31:21,056 --> 00:31:23,423
A giant vagina?
780
00:31:23,492 --> 00:31:24,824
It's a vulva, son.
781
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,559
A common mistake.
782
00:31:26,628 --> 00:31:30,196
Now, the vulva is all part of
the external female genitalia.
783
00:31:30,232 --> 00:31:32,632
The inner and outer labia
and the clitoris.
784
00:31:32,767 --> 00:31:35,068
Whereas the vagina
is all part of the internal
785
00:31:35,203 --> 00:31:36,903
Female reproductive organs.
786
00:31:36,972 --> 00:31:39,839
It's so... Pink.
787
00:31:39,841 --> 00:31:41,774
Ken: It's an anatomically
correct vulva.
788
00:31:41,843 --> 00:31:45,245
Made out of a kiddie pool,
some old raincoats,
789
00:31:45,247 --> 00:31:48,114
And a slip 'n slide,
held together with hot glue...
790
00:31:48,183 --> 00:31:49,983
-A lot of packing tape...
791
00:31:49,985 --> 00:31:52,085
And the spirit
of transformation.
792
00:31:52,154 --> 00:31:54,521
Plus it doubled as a sex talk.
793
00:31:54,523 --> 00:31:55,921
- Oh, yeah!
- Oscar: Cool.
794
00:31:55,958 --> 00:31:58,992
[laughs nervously]
but, um...
795
00:31:59,127 --> 00:32:00,893
What am I supposed
to do with it?
796
00:32:00,929 --> 00:32:02,662
Am I supposed to fu...
797
00:32:02,797 --> 00:32:06,098
- Both: No, no, no, no, no!
- Get reborn, bro!
798
00:32:06,134 --> 00:32:08,100
You're gonna jump
onto that slip 'n slide,
799
00:32:08,136 --> 00:32:10,903
Go down the birth canal,
and squirt yourself out!
800
00:32:10,939 --> 00:32:12,738
And when you come
through the labia,
801
00:32:12,774 --> 00:32:15,208
You scream out your new name
to complete your metamorphosis
802
00:32:15,343 --> 00:32:16,909
Into a finley-cullen!
803
00:32:16,945 --> 00:32:18,544
No take-backsies.
804
00:32:18,613 --> 00:32:19,913
Oscar: I'll be honest
with you guys.
805
00:32:20,048 --> 00:32:22,281
I haven't felt worthy of
being inside a vagina...
806
00:32:22,317 --> 00:32:24,584
Uh, vulva, lately.
807
00:32:24,719 --> 00:32:26,786
Today?
Today I feel inspired.
808
00:32:26,855 --> 00:32:28,988
I... I think I can do this!
809
00:32:29,024 --> 00:32:29,822
Hell yeah, you can!
810
00:32:29,824 --> 00:32:31,724
Yeah! [grunts]
alright!
811
00:32:31,793 --> 00:32:33,159
Woo!
812
00:32:33,228 --> 00:32:35,094
Ryan: Let's do this.
Come on, oscar!
813
00:32:35,230 --> 00:32:37,096
Oscar: Rawr!
814
00:32:37,132 --> 00:32:41,701
? and this bird
you cannot change ?
815
00:32:41,836 --> 00:32:45,171
? oh, oh, oh, oh,
816
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:49,976
? and the bird
you cannot change ?
817
00:32:50,111 --> 00:32:53,646
?
818
00:32:53,648 --> 00:32:57,783
?
819
00:32:57,819 --> 00:33:01,588
?
820
00:33:01,723 --> 00:33:06,059
?
821
00:33:06,194 --> 00:33:11,831
?
822
00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:13,099
[squeaky thud]
823
00:33:15,070 --> 00:33:16,636
Ken: Oscar?
824
00:33:16,771 --> 00:33:18,838
Oscar: How do I get out of here?
Come on!
825
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:20,273
I think it's sealed shut.
826
00:33:20,342 --> 00:33:22,008
The plastic must have melted
together after all those years
827
00:33:22,077 --> 00:33:23,543
Of sitting in the shed.
828
00:33:23,612 --> 00:33:26,546
Oscar: Oh, so sticky!
[punches and thuds]
829
00:33:26,615 --> 00:33:28,614
Oscar: I can't breathe!
830
00:33:28,683 --> 00:33:29,482
Ryan: You can do it, buddy.
831
00:33:30,585 --> 00:33:31,317
Oscar: I think I'm having
a panic attack!
832
00:33:31,319 --> 00:33:33,620
Help, help!
[panicking]
833
00:33:33,622 --> 00:33:35,688
- [quiet groan]
- oscar?
834
00:33:35,690 --> 00:33:37,056
Ryan: Hey, buddy?
835
00:33:37,092 --> 00:33:38,691
- This is not good.
- No.
836
00:33:38,693 --> 00:33:40,026
- Oscar?
- Buddy!
837
00:33:40,028 --> 00:33:41,094
Get something to cut it open!
838
00:33:41,096 --> 00:33:43,762
-Gah!
839
00:33:48,370 --> 00:33:51,171
Ken: Oscar?
840
00:33:51,306 --> 00:33:52,371
Oscar!
841
00:33:52,407 --> 00:33:54,641
Get his hand.
842
00:33:54,776 --> 00:33:58,611
[straining loudly]
843
00:33:58,746 --> 00:34:00,346
Oscar?
844
00:34:00,415 --> 00:34:01,981
- He's unconscious.
- Yeah.
845
00:34:01,983 --> 00:34:04,183
- Roll him over.
- Okay.
846
00:34:04,219 --> 00:34:05,318
Alright, hit him, hit him!
847
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,887
- [loud smacks]
- [coughing]
848
00:34:07,889 --> 00:34:09,655
- Ah!
- Oh!
849
00:34:09,724 --> 00:34:11,291
Let's get him in the house
and warm him up.
850
00:34:11,426 --> 00:34:12,625
- Yeah.
- [crying]
851
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:13,893
Ryan: Okay, come on, buddy.
852
00:34:13,929 --> 00:34:18,697
Oscar: [groaning]
853
00:34:18,733 --> 00:34:21,066
Why'd you make me do that?
854
00:34:21,103 --> 00:34:24,670
?
855
00:34:24,739 --> 00:34:27,140
Lidia: What I'm doing
is a lifestyle choice.
856
00:34:27,142 --> 00:34:28,341
Rhian: Oh, is it?
857
00:34:28,410 --> 00:34:30,210
Or is it just the
latest season of the
858
00:34:30,345 --> 00:34:32,278
"look at me, I'm lidia,
I'm special" show?
859
00:34:32,347 --> 00:34:34,247
This season,
she smokes weed every day
860
00:34:34,382 --> 00:34:36,249
And wears a dirty bathrobe
to get attention!
861
00:34:36,251 --> 00:34:38,751
-I do not!
You know what, fine, I do,
862
00:34:38,820 --> 00:34:41,621
But it's not for attention,
it's for my mental health.
863
00:34:41,690 --> 00:34:43,323
- It's medicinal!
- You haven't changed.
864
00:34:43,458 --> 00:34:45,225
No matter what I do
or how much I achieve,
865
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,059
You will always think
that you're better than me,
866
00:34:47,129 --> 00:34:49,929
Even with smelly hair
and monster toenails.
867
00:34:49,965 --> 00:34:51,964
Come on!
That's not true.
868
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,166
Have you looked
at your toes lately?
869
00:34:53,301 --> 00:34:56,202
They're gnarly.
870
00:34:56,204 --> 00:35:00,106
Fine, my toenails are a mess,
and so am I.
871
00:35:00,108 --> 00:35:02,842
I lied, okay?
872
00:35:02,977 --> 00:35:05,044
I'm lost.
873
00:35:05,046 --> 00:35:06,979
The reason I'm not
doing anything right now
874
00:35:07,048 --> 00:35:10,049
Is because
I don't know what to do next.
875
00:35:10,185 --> 00:35:11,317
Maybe start with a pedicure.
876
00:35:12,654 --> 00:35:14,787
-I don't have the energy to
reinvent myself one more time!
877
00:35:14,789 --> 00:35:17,456
Just the thought of it
makes me want to give up!
878
00:35:17,492 --> 00:35:19,992
I think the winter
really took a toll on me.
879
00:35:20,028 --> 00:35:22,929
-I'm sorry, the winter
took a toll on you?!
880
00:35:22,998 --> 00:35:24,930
I was all alone in that trailer!
881
00:35:24,966 --> 00:35:27,467
There was so much snow.
882
00:35:27,469 --> 00:35:28,934
[whining]
I didn't have netflix!
883
00:35:28,970 --> 00:35:31,137
Snow?
Are you even canadian?!
884
00:35:31,139 --> 00:35:32,105
You know what, rhian?
885
00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:34,007
I envy you.
886
00:35:34,009 --> 00:35:36,008
You may be
a borderline narcissist,
887
00:35:36,044 --> 00:35:39,078
But you always know what
you want and you go after it.
888
00:35:39,147 --> 00:35:40,413
You never falter.
889
00:35:40,482 --> 00:35:42,048
I mean, I would kill
for that kind of certainty.
890
00:35:42,183 --> 00:35:43,850
You think I'm a narcissist?
891
00:35:43,852 --> 00:35:45,885
-Yes, but in a good way.
892
00:35:45,887 --> 00:35:48,054
Like gwyneth paltrow, but poor.
893
00:35:48,189 --> 00:35:52,959
- You really mean that?
- [chuckles]
894
00:35:53,028 --> 00:35:55,695
Are you recording this?
895
00:35:55,764 --> 00:35:57,096
No?
896
00:35:57,165 --> 00:35:59,832
Um... Maybe a little.
897
00:35:59,901 --> 00:36:03,102
Um, okay, this was gonna be
another birthday surprise,
898
00:36:03,104 --> 00:36:04,237
But you caught me, so...
899
00:36:04,372 --> 00:36:05,705
Surprise!
900
00:36:05,774 --> 00:36:10,176
You are the lucky subject
of my new podcast.
901
00:36:10,178 --> 00:36:11,911
Happy birthday.
902
00:36:12,046 --> 00:36:13,912
Seriously?
903
00:36:13,949 --> 00:36:15,782
Well... what?
904
00:36:15,784 --> 00:36:17,516
No, I-I thought
you'd be psyched!
905
00:36:17,552 --> 00:36:19,918
You didn't want to treat me
to a day of self-care!
906
00:36:19,955 --> 00:36:22,355
You dragged me here under false
pretences so you could record me
907
00:36:22,490 --> 00:36:25,091
At my lowest
wearing a hideous speedo!
908
00:36:25,226 --> 00:36:26,058
I love this suit!
909
00:36:27,095 --> 00:36:28,827
Fine, I may be using
you for inspiration,
910
00:36:28,863 --> 00:36:30,463
But only because I need juice!
911
00:36:30,598 --> 00:36:31,930
I need drama!
912
00:36:31,967 --> 00:36:33,466
I want my next show
to be about something,
913
00:36:33,601 --> 00:36:36,502
And what is juicier
than the tale of a woman
914
00:36:36,538 --> 00:36:39,104
Who shitcans her life and then
has a chance to reinvent?
915
00:36:39,140 --> 00:36:41,240
Cool, so you want to
exploit my mental breakdown
916
00:36:41,276 --> 00:36:43,042
For money and fame?
917
00:36:43,111 --> 00:36:45,545
You are gonna
be a feminist icon.
918
00:36:45,547 --> 00:36:48,014
Why is lidia the star?
Oh my god, exploit me!
919
00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:49,816
Like, I've got way more
going on right now...
920
00:36:49,818 --> 00:36:52,118
And I'm a narcissist!
921
00:36:52,253 --> 00:36:55,254
Oh my god!
922
00:36:55,257 --> 00:36:58,023
If nora thinks I'm
the more interesting subject
923
00:36:58,025 --> 00:37:00,960
For her podcast, why can't
you just be happy for me?
924
00:37:00,962 --> 00:37:03,162
We are not in competition
with each other!
925
00:37:03,231 --> 00:37:06,499
Which is lucky for you
because you will always lose!
926
00:37:06,568 --> 00:37:08,567
[screaming]
927
00:37:08,569 --> 00:37:10,570
Get in there!
You're a wimp!
928
00:37:10,572 --> 00:37:14,306
Nora: Okay.
Well, they're back, folks!
929
00:37:14,342 --> 00:37:15,508
- Okay...
- [screaming and grunting]
930
00:37:15,643 --> 00:37:17,076
- [splash]
- bitch!
931
00:37:17,211 --> 00:37:18,511
I had one more payment!
932
00:37:18,646 --> 00:37:20,213
Are you kidding?!
933
00:37:20,348 --> 00:37:23,048
[all screaming]
934
00:37:26,587 --> 00:37:27,853
[sighs]
935
00:37:27,922 --> 00:37:29,522
Well, I hope
you enjoyed my birthday,
936
00:37:29,524 --> 00:37:31,390
'cause we're probably
banned from the spa for life.
937
00:37:31,459 --> 00:37:33,059
We are banned.
938
00:37:33,061 --> 00:37:36,062
That namaste nazi literally
screamed it as we left.
939
00:37:36,064 --> 00:37:37,830
Hmm, worth it.
940
00:37:37,832 --> 00:37:39,465
I feel...
941
00:37:39,467 --> 00:37:41,467
Ahh!
Strangely invigorated.
942
00:37:41,602 --> 00:37:43,102
More like myself.
943
00:37:43,138 --> 00:37:44,870
Well, nothing reminds
you more of who you are
944
00:37:44,906 --> 00:37:46,005
Than smelling
your sister's armpit.
945
00:37:46,007 --> 00:37:48,407
Lidia: Hmm!
946
00:37:48,443 --> 00:37:51,877
Hey, I know you haven't
felt on your game lately,
947
00:37:51,946 --> 00:37:57,883
But the annoying lidia
we love to hate will rise again.
948
00:37:57,952 --> 00:37:59,952
She always does.
949
00:37:59,954 --> 00:38:02,088
Thanks, rhian.
950
00:38:02,223 --> 00:38:03,823
As long as you
don't take that job.
951
00:38:03,958 --> 00:38:07,293
Duh!
Of course I won't.
952
00:38:07,295 --> 00:38:09,561
You're doing amazing
at the whole working mom thing,
953
00:38:09,597 --> 00:38:10,896
By the way.
954
00:38:10,932 --> 00:38:13,098
Duh!
Of course I am.
955
00:38:13,134 --> 00:38:14,334
Lidia: [chuckles]
956
00:38:14,469 --> 00:38:17,236
And your skin looks amazing!
957
00:38:17,305 --> 00:38:19,439
-Yours, too!
958
00:38:19,574 --> 00:38:21,841
How about my skin?
959
00:38:21,976 --> 00:38:24,110
That's so weird.
Did you hear something?
960
00:38:24,112 --> 00:38:26,512
- No.
- Yeah, me neither.
961
00:38:26,548 --> 00:38:28,114
Hmm!
962
00:38:28,183 --> 00:38:32,484
?
963
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,988
?
964
00:38:36,057 --> 00:38:38,524
?
965
00:38:38,659 --> 00:38:42,128
?
966
00:38:42,130 --> 00:38:46,098
?
967
00:38:46,167 --> 00:38:48,934
Mm...
Uh-uh.
968
00:38:49,003 --> 00:38:51,470
?
969
00:38:51,506 --> 00:38:55,041
[text notification]
970
00:38:55,176 --> 00:38:59,011
?
971
00:38:59,013 --> 00:39:02,815
?
972
00:39:12,093 --> 00:39:14,226
Rhian: And so,
nothing out of the ordinary?
973
00:39:14,262 --> 00:39:16,162
It was pretty uneventful.
974
00:39:16,297 --> 00:39:18,164
Good!
975
00:39:18,166 --> 00:39:20,333
I had an awesome day, too.
976
00:39:20,335 --> 00:39:22,668
- You're glowing.
- It's probably the sugar scrub.
977
00:39:22,704 --> 00:39:24,437
Or maybe the slap fight.
978
00:39:24,439 --> 00:39:26,439
Who knew an old-school scrapping
was all I needed
979
00:39:26,574 --> 00:39:28,107
- To feel rejuvenated?
- Hmm?
980
00:39:28,242 --> 00:39:30,642
I mean, I still have to
figure out a way to stop this
981
00:39:30,678 --> 00:39:34,580
New build, but I'm way less
stressed about it.
982
00:39:34,715 --> 00:39:36,516
Sometimes you just
need a day away
983
00:39:36,651 --> 00:39:38,984
To get some perspective,
you know?
984
00:39:43,725 --> 00:39:46,192
Would you ever cheat on me?
985
00:39:46,194 --> 00:39:47,393
What?
986
00:39:47,395 --> 00:39:49,295
God, no.
987
00:39:49,364 --> 00:39:51,063
That's what I thought.
988
00:39:51,065 --> 00:39:54,267
Just checking.
989
00:39:54,402 --> 00:39:57,470
Who's got the time
or energy to cheat?
990
00:39:57,472 --> 00:40:01,340
?
991
00:40:01,376 --> 00:40:07,946
?
992
00:40:07,982 --> 00:40:09,081
Lidia: Don't worry,
993
00:40:09,150 --> 00:40:11,016
I didn't tell anyone
about you and wes.
994
00:40:11,052 --> 00:40:13,319
-Hmm, thanks, but...
995
00:40:13,454 --> 00:40:15,954
I actually came here for advice.
996
00:40:15,990 --> 00:40:17,490
From me?
997
00:40:17,492 --> 00:40:18,557
I'm flattered.
998
00:40:19,827 --> 00:40:21,327
Well, you're technically
the only one who knows about us.
999
00:40:21,396 --> 00:40:23,629
- [chuckles]
- so...
1000
00:40:23,665 --> 00:40:26,232
I really like this guy.
1001
00:40:26,301 --> 00:40:27,967
And I think I want
to keep seeing him.
1002
00:40:28,102 --> 00:40:30,035
Is that... Crazy?
1003
00:40:30,071 --> 00:40:31,704
Uh...
1004
00:40:31,773 --> 00:40:35,041
Well, I-I don't really know
what's crazy anymore,
1005
00:40:35,176 --> 00:40:39,512
But I think
you deserve to be happy.
1006
00:40:39,581 --> 00:40:42,581
I do, too.
1007
00:40:42,617 --> 00:40:45,251
Well, that is if he can
forgive me for lying to him.
1008
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,253
- Twice.
- Saint sammy.
1009
00:40:47,388 --> 00:40:49,588
It turns out you're just
as screwed up as the rest of us.
1010
00:40:49,657 --> 00:40:52,592
- That's depressing.
- [laughs]
1011
00:40:52,594 --> 00:40:55,595
Oh, I'm sure wes will be
back at your door in no time.
1012
00:40:55,597 --> 00:40:57,797
That face, that smile!
1013
00:40:57,799 --> 00:41:00,800
- How could he resist?
- Mmm...
1014
00:41:00,802 --> 00:41:03,536
I hope you're right!
1015
00:41:03,605 --> 00:41:07,540
'cause I really
don't wanna let this go.
1016
00:41:07,675 --> 00:41:09,642
You know, for the record,
1017
00:41:09,644 --> 00:41:13,746
I don't think
you should, either.
1018
00:41:13,815 --> 00:41:16,282
You mean the job offer?
1019
00:41:16,284 --> 00:41:18,417
Could be a game-changer.
1020
00:41:21,289 --> 00:41:23,623
Oh.
1021
00:41:23,625 --> 00:41:25,958
You know, technically,
it's still your birthday.
1022
00:41:26,093 --> 00:41:28,227
- You wanna do something crazy?
- [chuckles]
1023
00:41:28,296 --> 00:41:30,563
Drinks at the shore club?
Make a few more mistakes?
1024
00:41:30,632 --> 00:41:33,299
[laughs] no!
But thank you.
1025
00:41:33,301 --> 00:41:35,568
I think I've had enough
excitement for one day.
1026
00:41:35,570 --> 00:41:37,436
-Okay, I tried.
1027
00:41:37,472 --> 00:41:40,139
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
1028
00:41:40,208 --> 00:41:43,709
- Happy birthday.
- Ohh, thank you.
1029
00:41:43,711 --> 00:41:45,177
You'll figure it out.
1030
00:41:45,246 --> 00:41:46,712
["I feel it all"
by feist playing]
1031
00:41:46,847 --> 00:41:49,515
? I feel it all,
I feel it all ?
1032
00:41:49,584 --> 00:41:52,050
?
1033
00:41:52,086 --> 00:41:54,453
? I feel it all,
I feel it all ?
1034
00:41:54,589 --> 00:41:57,389
?
1035
00:41:57,425 --> 00:42:02,661
? the wings are wide,
the wings are wide ?
1036
00:42:02,797 --> 00:42:05,431
? wild card in sight,
wild card in sight ?
1037
00:42:05,433 --> 00:42:09,335
?
1038
00:42:09,337 --> 00:42:15,140
? ooh, I'll be the one
who'll break my heart ?
1039
00:42:15,176 --> 00:42:20,146
? I'll be the one
to hold the gun ?
1040
00:42:20,281 --> 00:42:25,618
? I know more
than I knew before ?
1041
00:42:25,753 --> 00:42:31,390
? I know more
than I knew before ?
1042
00:42:31,392 --> 00:42:37,430
? I didn't rest,
I didn't stop ?
1043
00:42:37,432 --> 00:42:43,302
? did we fight
or did we talk? ?
1044
00:42:43,304 --> 00:42:49,108
? ooh, I'll be the one
who'll break my heart ?
1045
00:42:49,243 --> 00:42:54,146
? I'll be the one
to hold the gun ?
1046
00:42:54,148 --> 00:42:59,785
? I love you more...
1047
00:42:59,787 --> 00:43:05,658
? I love you more
1048
00:43:05,793 --> 00:43:10,362
? I don't know
what I knew before ?
1049
00:43:10,398 --> 00:43:13,566
? oh, oh, oh!
1050
00:43:13,568 --> 00:43:14,966
[puff of breath echoes
and fades]
1051
00:43:15,269 --> 00:43:20,406
?
1052
00:43:20,475 --> 00:43:24,677
?
1053
00:43:24,746 --> 00:43:29,214
?
1054
00:43:29,250 --> 00:43:33,352
?
1055
00:43:33,487 --> 00:43:37,589
?
1056
00:43:37,659 --> 00:43:41,394
?
1057
00:43:41,444 --> 00:43:45,994
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