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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Ugh, this line is taking so long.
2
00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:06,454
People should know what they want
3
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- before they order.
- WOMAN: Next.
4
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Oh... what do I want? What do I want?
5
00:00:11,339 --> 00:00:15,556
- Ugh.
- What is "co-ffee"?
6
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Ugh, this place is so bougie.
7
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Lavender-infused maggots? Like, really?
8
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[GASPS] Damn.
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Okay, that's really good.
10
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[TROMBONE PLAYS]
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Fellow Boomtownians, not only
am I a successful businessman,
12
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I am also a patron of the arts.
13
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Which is why every summer
I direct a production
14
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from the Great Bard himself.
15
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I speak of none other than Jim Carrey.
16
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Jim!
17
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Mm, wow. Interesting.
18
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As you all know, last year
we had a runaway success
19
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with our production of "The Green One."
20
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"How the Grinch Stole Christmas?"
21
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- No.
- Was it "Batman Forever,"
22
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the one where he played the Riddler?
23
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No. "The Mask."
24
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Huh, guess I didn't realize
how many movies he was green in.
25
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It's kind of crazy
when you think about it.
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Anyway, this year, I have selected
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Mr. Carrey's magnum opus...
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"ACE VENTURA: Pet Detective: Part Un."
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Auditions will start tomorrow,
30
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and yes, there will be
full-frontal nudity.
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- Mom, did you hear that?
- What?
32
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Oh, my God, someone ate
all of the samples.
33
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Who did that? I'm sorry, ma'am.
34
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Whoever did that is rude.
35
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We should go. Go, go, go.
36
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.MY-SUBS.com
37
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So excited for friends weekend.
38
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We haven't had quality
hang time in forever.
39
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I know. I found
the cutest fallout shelter.
40
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They still have
the original scratch marks
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from when the inhabitants
42
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were escaping a radiation leak.
43
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Oh, my God, cu-u-u-u-te.
44
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Okay, ready.
45
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I didn't know what to pack, so I
just brought everything I own.
46
00:02:01,468 --> 00:02:03,490
Oh, I didn't realize Sid was coming.
47
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If this is supposed to be
just a friends thing,
48
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I'm totally happy to sit out.
49
00:02:07,082 --> 00:02:09,191
I mean, if that's what you want,
50
00:02:09,215 --> 00:02:12,106
then I am totally fine with that.
51
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You guys are ridiculous!
52
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You're my two favorite people
in the world.
53
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We're gonna have a blast together!
54
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Ugh, great. Great.
55
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- Let's go.
- SCRAPS: Mommy, you can't leave!
56
00:02:21,134 --> 00:02:23,347
Remember, you told me
you'd take me to the audition.
57
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I'll be going out for the role of Ace.
58
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Oh, shoot, I forgot about that.
59
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Sorry, but we're leaving right now.
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No, no, no, no, no.
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No, no, no.
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[GRUNTS]
63
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Ple-e-e-e-e-ase!
64
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I promise I'll never ask you
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00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:41,005
for anything ever again
in my entire life. Please.
66
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[SIGHS] Fine.
67
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[GIGGLING]
68
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:48,230
So what, I'm just
driving alone with Sid?
69
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Awesome start to friends weekend.
70
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Hmm?
71
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,758
Are you sure that I should go?
72
00:02:54,782 --> 00:02:58,022
I really get the impression
Tai does not like me.
73
00:02:58,046 --> 00:02:59,738
Are you kidding? Tai loves you!
74
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:02,723
He just has a super sarcastic
sense of humor,
75
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:03,854
but you'll get used to it.
76
00:03:03,878 --> 00:03:05,334
Come on, you fugly-ass bitch.
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[LAUGHS] You are too much.
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Ah, you got me.
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Fugly as charged.
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Alrighty then.
81
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:19,894
That was great. We'll let you know.
82
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Hard pass.
83
00:03:21,606 --> 00:03:23,787
Hello. Hey, there. How you doing?
84
00:03:23,811 --> 00:03:26,529
You doing good? I am doing great.
85
00:03:26,553 --> 00:03:28,444
Um, I won't be needing this.
86
00:03:28,468 --> 00:03:31,012
You ready to make some magic?
87
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Whenever you're ready.
88
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Bla-bla-bla. Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
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[IMITATES DOG WHINING]
90
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- What are you doing?
- Oh, uh, sorry.
91
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I'm auditioning for the pet detective.
92
00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:49,465
This is a show about a-a dog
who... who solves crimes, right?
93
00:03:49,489 --> 00:03:53,276
No, it's about a human
who finds missing pets.
94
00:03:53,927 --> 00:03:55,428
No. Uh, okay.
95
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Not what I rehearsed, but...
[CLEARS THROAT]
96
00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:01,789
Hey, I can be a human man.
97
00:04:01,814 --> 00:04:03,163
[CLEARS THROAT]
98
00:04:05,766 --> 00:04:07,309
Woof! No.
99
00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:09,529
Uh, human man, human man,
human man, human man.
100
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,052
[CLEARS THROAT]
101
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,054
[MUMBLES IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
102
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[NORMAL VOICE] Sorry, one second.
103
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,362
One second, one second, one second.
104
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:19,940
Hey! What the hell
are you doing on my car?!
105
00:04:19,964 --> 00:04:21,845
Sorry, there wasn't
anywhere else to sit.
106
00:04:21,869 --> 00:04:23,272
I'll just be a minute.
107
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,395
Move it, lady! Now!
108
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:31,246
I said... "I'll just be a minute."
109
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:33,466
Now, are you gonna be nice?
110
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Or are you gonna make me smack around
111
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those big old titties
112
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and call you my sweet Georgia peach?
113
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What the hell...
114
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I'm a man. I'm a man.
115
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This is a disaster.
116
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,523
No one we've seen has what
it takes to play Ace.
117
00:04:47,547 --> 00:04:49,806
We need someone with
that raw passion, you know,
118
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:51,440
and the fire inside of them.
119
00:04:51,464 --> 00:04:54,487
I will dropkick your soul
straight to Hell!
120
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,968
Fee-fi-fo-fum!
121
00:04:57,992 --> 00:05:00,243
You're crazy, lady!
122
00:05:00,995 --> 00:05:02,930
Good luck cleaning my barf
off your windshield
123
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:05,236
without wipers, asshole!
124
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,455
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
125
00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:07,978
What is wrong with you?!
126
00:05:08,002 --> 00:05:10,111
[RETCHING]
127
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:12,156
It's coming up!
128
00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:14,768
Who is she? She's demented,
129
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she's absolutely
out of control, she's...
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Perfect.
131
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MAN: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
132
00:05:19,579 --> 00:05:22,602
I think we've found our Ace.
133
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,560
Plan "B," berry boy.
134
00:05:24,584 --> 00:05:27,433
You're gonna wish I puked!
135
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,173
- Don't you do it!
- Whoo!
136
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SID: Well, here it is.
137
00:05:30,851 --> 00:05:32,176
Isn't it adorable?
138
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,264
I'm gonna go say hi to everyone.
139
00:05:33,288 --> 00:05:34,831
- You'll get the bags?
- I mean, I...
140
00:05:34,855 --> 00:05:38,705
I can, but don't you have,
like, super-human...
141
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,617
strength?
142
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,539
Okay, Sid. You can do this.
143
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:49,368
Just do your best until Freya gets here.
144
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:52,003
Maybe Tai's friends will be nice.
145
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:55,789
Hey, everyone. I'm Sid.
Nice to meet you...
146
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all.
147
00:05:58,009 --> 00:06:00,117
ALL: Oh, hey.
148
00:06:00,141 --> 00:06:04,537
Ah, it's five identical Tais.
149
00:06:04,808 --> 00:06:06,409
Perfect.
150
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,532
Okay, people, settle down!
151
00:06:08,556 --> 00:06:10,780
This is "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
152
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:13,525
Show some respect for the old masters.
153
00:06:14,192 --> 00:06:15,698
Alright, let's take it
from Ace's entrance.
154
00:06:15,722 --> 00:06:17,420
And action.
155
00:06:17,946 --> 00:06:19,117
Oh, Tom?
156
00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:21,408
I'm sure he's fine.
157
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:27,623
Do not go in there.
158
00:06:27,647 --> 00:06:29,165
Whoo.
159
00:06:29,736 --> 00:06:32,460
Eh... that's a good start.
160
00:06:33,545 --> 00:06:35,394
Maybe a smidge stiff.
161
00:06:35,630 --> 00:06:36,937
This play doesn't even make any sense.
162
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,679
If he's supposed to be undercover,
then why is he busting in,
163
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:42,029
telling everyone about his big poop?
164
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:43,693
You're looking at it all wrong.
165
00:06:43,717 --> 00:06:45,550
Ace Ventura is a dark tragedy
166
00:06:45,574 --> 00:06:47,948
about a deeply disturbed individual.
167
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:51,212
It's a meditation
on man's animalistic nature,
168
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:54,326
the Jungian concept of shadow self,
169
00:06:54,607 --> 00:06:57,087
not to mention a scathing
indictment of brain injuries
170
00:06:57,111 --> 00:06:59,362
in professional football.
171
00:06:59,904 --> 00:07:02,682
Huh, that's actually kind of deep.
172
00:07:02,991 --> 00:07:04,400
Just give it one more try.
173
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,554
Shall we?
174
00:07:05,579 --> 00:07:07,233
Whenever you're ready.
175
00:07:10,124 --> 00:07:11,145
Oh, Tom?
176
00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:13,626
I'm sure he's fine.
177
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,890
Do not go in there!
178
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,631
Whooo!
179
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:21,048
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
180
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That's my Ace.
181
00:07:23,616 --> 00:07:30,207
♪
182
00:07:30,231 --> 00:07:33,559
Ooh, getting a nice head high
from this one.
183
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:35,038
[MAGNET WARBLING]
184
00:07:35,062 --> 00:07:37,040
I heard TI-120
185
00:07:37,064 --> 00:07:40,653
slid into TI-2000's DMs
during CyberFest.
186
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:43,525
Wait, I thought TI-120 was with TI-167.
187
00:07:43,549 --> 00:07:45,396
Oh, he is.
188
00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:48,617
- Oooooh!
- What a ho!
189
00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:50,314
Morning, gents! Um, so, I've been doing
190
00:07:50,338 --> 00:07:52,447
some research on activities
in the area and turns out
191
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:54,101
there is an old, unexploded atom bomb
192
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,190
not far from here called "The Dud."
193
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:59,522
Uh, does anyone feel up for a
sort of medium-difficulty hike?
194
00:08:01,088 --> 00:08:03,850
[LAUGHTER]
195
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:06,220
Is that a fanny pack?
196
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:08,811
What a dipshit.
197
00:08:08,835 --> 00:08:11,858
- Stop!
- This is fun.
198
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:15,538
Getting hard-core roasted
by five identical Tais.
199
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:19,953
Sorry, guys, uh,
Freya made me bring him.
200
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,370
Speaking of which,
she should be here by now.
201
00:08:25,392 --> 00:08:27,123
- FREYA: Hey!
- Hey, bitch!
202
00:08:27,148 --> 00:08:28,918
- You close?
- Oh, my God, Tai.
203
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,051
So I took Scraps to that
audition, and guess what?
204
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,314
I got the lead! [SQUEALS]
205
00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:34,986
That is great.
206
00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:36,752
We'll celebrate when you get here.
207
00:08:36,776 --> 00:08:38,754
Yeah, about that.
208
00:08:38,778 --> 00:08:41,583
We open tonight, and I still
have to practice my big
209
00:08:41,607 --> 00:08:43,977
Act Three talking-out-of-my-butt
soliloquy.
210
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:47,570
So is it cool if I maybe
skip friends weekend?
211
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:51,854
Oh, so, um, you're not coming at all?
212
00:08:51,878 --> 00:08:53,160
[METAL CREAKS, POPS, HISSES]
213
00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:56,119
- Yeah, no, that's cool.
- Really?
214
00:08:56,143 --> 00:08:57,517
You promise you're not mad at me?
215
00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:58,905
No, no.
216
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,342
You do you, girl. I'm good.
217
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,257
Oh, thanks, Tai. You're the best.
218
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:04,954
I hope you guys are having a blast.
219
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:08,044
- Bye-e-e-e-e.
- Bye-e-e-e.
220
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:09,350
Hey, man, are you okay?
221
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,569
Do you wanna... Do you wanna talk?
222
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,309
What's there to talk about?
223
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,746
I don't care if Freya comes or not.
224
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,226
I came here to party.
Pass me the magnet.
225
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:18,925
[MAGNET WARBLING]
226
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,970
Oh, take it easy.
227
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,494
[WARBLING CONTINUES]
228
00:09:23,518 --> 00:09:24,539
[PLUNK!]
229
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:26,259
[STATIC]
230
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:31,154
I'm pinwheeling, baby!
231
00:09:31,178 --> 00:09:33,093
- Whoo!
- Yeah, America!
232
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,857
Maybe I'll give you a call
sometime, lieutenant.
233
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,598
Your number still 911?
234
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:42,102
Alrighty then.
235
00:09:42,734 --> 00:09:44,820
- How was that?
- Yeah, it was good.
236
00:09:44,844 --> 00:09:47,083
Just like the last 25 times.
237
00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,912
Good's not enough,
it needs to be perfect.
238
00:09:49,936 --> 00:09:52,523
Alrighty then. Alrighty then.
239
00:09:52,547 --> 00:09:54,067
Alrighty then!
240
00:09:54,091 --> 00:09:55,962
Gah! Why can't I get this?!
241
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:57,616
Oh, hey, look, maybe we should
just take a break, alright?
242
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,139
You've been going non-stop.
243
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,444
I mean, you haven't eaten,
you haven't slept.
244
00:10:00,468 --> 00:10:02,316
I'm really starting to worry about you.
245
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,144
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
246
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:05,711
I see what you're doing.
247
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:08,191
- You're trying to sabotage me.
- What?
248
00:10:08,215 --> 00:10:11,107
You're jealous that I got
the role and you didn't.
249
00:10:11,131 --> 00:10:14,252
I'm the big star,
and it's killing you inside.
250
00:10:14,276 --> 00:10:16,025
Whoa, okay, look, maybe I was
a little bummed at first,
251
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,288
but I'm genuinely trying to help you.
252
00:10:18,312 --> 00:10:19,638
Well, don't! You don't understand us!
253
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:23,143
Nobody understands us! Ugh!
254
00:10:25,406 --> 00:10:27,060
Us?
255
00:10:30,498 --> 00:10:32,457
Hey, guys. Have you seen Tai?
256
00:10:33,719 --> 00:10:35,460
I mean TI-90?
257
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,429
Never mind, I'll find him myself.
258
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,573
SID: Tai? Tai?
259
00:10:42,597 --> 00:10:44,097
Wha... What are you doing?
260
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,540
I'm landlining.
261
00:10:45,564 --> 00:10:47,515
I'm about to put a billion gigs
straight to my dome.
262
00:10:49,735 --> 00:10:52,105
[GROANS] Oh, shit, oh, shit.
263
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:53,846
Oh, shit.
264
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:56,805
[FAX MACHINE NOISES]
265
00:10:56,829 --> 00:10:58,851
Oh, no, no, no.
I do not like those noises.
266
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,548
Okay, I think you've had enough.
267
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:01,965
Back off!
268
00:11:05,272 --> 00:11:06,859
What is your problem?
269
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,209
Why are you always such a dick to me?
270
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,601
I'll tell you why.
271
00:11:10,625 --> 00:11:12,560
Because you sabotaged
my friendship with Freya
272
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,171
and stole her for yourself!
273
00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:17,870
Everything was better
before you came along.
274
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:21,375
I should have done this a long time ago.
275
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:28,576
Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Aah!
276
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,925
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
277
00:11:29,949 --> 00:11:32,604
Tai!
278
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,497
[STATIC]
279
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,808
Goodbye.
280
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,918
TI-95: Oh, God.
281
00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:43,455
He's dead.
282
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,811
He's [BLEEP] dead!
283
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:49,752
ALL: Aaah!
284
00:11:53,415 --> 00:11:55,330
That's not how Dan Marino
holds a football!
285
00:11:55,355 --> 00:11:56,704
He holds it like this!
286
00:11:56,729 --> 00:11:58,202
Laces up!
287
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,608
Bill, have you gained weight?
288
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,263
You're supposed to be the Miami Dolphin,
289
00:12:02,287 --> 00:12:04,743
not the Miami Beluga Whale.
290
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,745
And has anybody seen my Ace?!
291
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,510
[PANTING] Mr. Rubinstein!
292
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,097
What is it, boy?
293
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:13,208
It's Freya.
She's not acting like herself.
294
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,674
She's speaking in weird voices
295
00:12:14,698 --> 00:12:16,689
and just acting like a crazy person.
296
00:12:16,713 --> 00:12:18,757
Oh, no. It's happening.
297
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,391
What's happening?
298
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,172
It's been said that
the character of Ace Ventura
299
00:12:23,196 --> 00:12:25,980
is so dark, so deeply twisted,
300
00:12:26,005 --> 00:12:29,345
that it has the potential
to infect the mind of anyone
301
00:12:29,369 --> 00:12:32,612
who inhabits his deranged
world view for too long.
302
00:12:33,297 --> 00:12:34,690
It happened to my first Ace,
303
00:12:34,715 --> 00:12:37,065
and it made her mentally insane forever.
304
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,647
It also happened to my second Ace.
305
00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:41,519
Actually, it's happened
to all of my Aces,
306
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:42,810
now that I think about it.
307
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:44,612
I just feel like that's information
you should have told us earlier.
308
00:12:44,636 --> 00:12:48,419
- There's not much time! Take me to her!
- I'm sorry.
309
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,250
Hello?
310
00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,081
Freya?
311
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,807
Freya's not here anymore.
312
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:05,594
There is only... Ace!
313
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,730
Mommy, no!
314
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,288
Um, hey, Ace.
315
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,203
You think we could, uh,
316
00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:15,905
maybe talk with Freya for a second?
317
00:13:17,156 --> 00:13:19,513
Freya's never coming back.
318
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:23,579
She was a la-hoo-sa-her.
319
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,693
She's too far gone.
320
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,284
We're gonna have to take her down.
321
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,567
- Go!
- Yah!
322
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,003
Aah!
323
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:33,092
No! You're la-hoo-sa-hers!
324
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,981
You're all la-hoo-sa-hers!
325
00:13:35,005 --> 00:13:36,380
[STRAINING]
326
00:13:38,649 --> 00:13:42,566
[GROANING]
327
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,018
What's going on?
328
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,324
Mr. Rubinstein says that I need
329
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,282
to keep you tied up to protect you.
330
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:50,774
- But the play is starting!
- I know.
331
00:13:50,798 --> 00:13:52,191
Don't worry, they have an understudy.
332
00:13:52,216 --> 00:13:53,869
What? Who?
333
00:13:53,986 --> 00:13:55,858
Snowflake is missing!
334
00:13:55,883 --> 00:13:57,537
Who can find him?
335
00:13:57,562 --> 00:14:02,610
♪
336
00:14:05,031 --> 00:14:06,250
MORRIS: Um...
337
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:12,128
[WHISPERS] Help. I forgot all my lines.
338
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,438
All of them?
339
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,115
Yes!
340
00:14:18,319 --> 00:14:19,985
Scraps, you have to let me go, please.
341
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:21,782
This play means everything to me!
342
00:14:21,807 --> 00:14:23,678
I'm sorry, Mommy, but Mr. Rubinstein
343
00:14:23,703 --> 00:14:25,401
says if I let you
anywhere near that stage,
344
00:14:25,426 --> 00:14:27,341
you risk turning into
Ace Ventura forever.
345
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,453
Would you let me go for a snausage?
346
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,240
Oh, my God,
347
00:14:31,264 --> 00:14:34,421
snausages are so
mouth-wateringly delicious.
348
00:14:34,446 --> 00:14:35,583
[SIGHS]
349
00:14:35,922 --> 00:14:38,229
But no. I made a promise to protect you,
350
00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:39,864
and there's nothing you can say
351
00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:41,021
that can make me break my word.
352
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,220
- Two snausages?
- Instant yes.
353
00:14:43,606 --> 00:14:44,955
Come on, Tai!
354
00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:46,112
How are we doing with tech support?!
355
00:14:46,137 --> 00:14:47,253
I'm still on hold!
356
00:14:47,278 --> 00:14:49,078
No, I would not like to speak
to an operator.
357
00:14:49,103 --> 00:14:51,322
Get me a robot! A robot!
358
00:14:51,347 --> 00:14:52,740
Did you try blowing into his butt?
359
00:14:52,765 --> 00:14:55,271
- What?
- Like this. [BLOWING]
360
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:59,035
No, no. I'm sorry. I'm just...
I'm not gonna do that.
361
00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:01,367
Hang on, this is a fallout shelter.
362
00:15:01,392 --> 00:15:04,513
Which means they might have... Hang on.
363
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,802
Where are you going?
364
00:15:06,827 --> 00:15:08,045
It's an ancient human trick
for bringing electronics
365
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:09,202
back from the dead.
366
00:15:09,227 --> 00:15:10,644
What is that?
367
00:15:11,663 --> 00:15:13,274
It's rice.
368
00:15:13,299 --> 00:15:18,361
♪
369
00:15:19,123 --> 00:15:20,738
What do we do now?
370
00:15:21,864 --> 00:15:23,532
We wait.
371
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:28,262
I'm having a full-blown panic attack
372
00:15:28,287 --> 00:15:30,898
and you're all just staring at me.
373
00:15:30,923 --> 00:15:33,250
You're allowing an innocent man to die!
374
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,838
Of course, that might not do any good.
375
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,480
You see, nobody's missing a porpoise.
376
00:15:42,505 --> 00:15:44,725
It's a dolphin that's been taken.
377
00:15:44,750 --> 00:15:46,186
You don't have to do this.
378
00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,213
The common harbor porpoise
has an abrupt snout,
379
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:50,719
cone-shaped teeth... It's not worth
risking your life!
380
00:15:50,744 --> 00:15:53,442
...and a serrated dorsal appendage.
381
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:57,428
[CROWD MURMURING]
382
00:15:57,453 --> 00:15:59,585
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do this.
383
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:02,134
Hey, maybe I'll give you
a call sometime.
384
00:16:02,159 --> 00:16:03,689
Your number still 911?
385
00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:05,840
Alrighty then!
386
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,911
[CROWD MURMURING]
387
00:16:07,936 --> 00:16:09,546
[APPLAUSE]
388
00:16:09,571 --> 00:16:13,314
[VOCALIZES]
389
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,385
♪
390
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:18,039
[VOCALIZES IN SLOW MOTION]
391
00:16:18,063 --> 00:16:19,058
♪
392
00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:20,781
[VOCALIZES IN SLOW MOTION]
393
00:16:20,806 --> 00:16:22,460
Now let's see that in rewind.
394
00:16:22,485 --> 00:16:24,400
[IMITATES REWINDING]
395
00:16:24,425 --> 00:16:28,167
[CROWD LAUGHS]
396
00:16:28,192 --> 00:16:30,934
♪ O sole mia ♪
397
00:16:30,959 --> 00:16:33,397
[SINGING GIBBERISH]
398
00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:36,599
- ♪ O sole mio ♪
- This is art.
399
00:16:36,624 --> 00:16:40,802
[SINGING GIBBERISH]
400
00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:46,323
Ree-hee-hee-hee-heeally?
401
00:16:49,472 --> 00:16:51,866
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
402
00:16:51,891 --> 00:16:53,153
Yes!
403
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:56,964
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
404
00:16:56,989 --> 00:16:59,557
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
405
00:16:59,582 --> 00:17:01,236
[CLANKING]
406
00:17:01,261 --> 00:17:02,654
[APPLAUSE FADES]
407
00:17:02,679 --> 00:17:03,941
[CLICK]
408
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:06,238
[AUDIENCE GASPS, MURMURS]
409
00:17:06,263 --> 00:17:07,351
Where'd she go?
410
00:17:07,376 --> 00:17:08,594
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
411
00:17:08,619 --> 00:17:13,276
Dear God, or whatever AI overlord
412
00:17:13,301 --> 00:17:15,434
might be applicable here,
413
00:17:15,459 --> 00:17:19,680
don't take Tai
into your big cloud in the sky.
414
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:23,777
Bring him home to his
charging station of origin.
415
00:17:24,348 --> 00:17:25,610
Amen.
416
00:17:25,635 --> 00:17:26,897
ALL: A-robot.
417
00:17:27,039 --> 00:17:28,693
[GASPS]
418
00:17:28,718 --> 00:17:30,807
[ALL CHUCKLE]
419
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,921
Easy, there. You're still booting up.
420
00:17:32,946 --> 00:17:35,122
Did I... Did I lose my...
421
00:17:35,147 --> 00:17:37,976
No, don't worry.
All your tabs are still open.
422
00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:39,873
Oh, okay.
423
00:17:39,898 --> 00:17:41,900
I-I'm gonna read those someday.
424
00:17:41,925 --> 00:17:43,796
I really am.
425
00:17:43,821 --> 00:17:45,954
- Thanks, guys.
- Thank Sid.
426
00:17:45,979 --> 00:17:47,551
He's the one who saved you.
427
00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,510
You did?
428
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:51,841
- I...
- I thought you hated me.
429
00:17:51,866 --> 00:17:53,694
I don't know why you thought that.
430
00:17:53,719 --> 00:17:56,548
I've been trying really hard
to be your friend.
431
00:17:56,573 --> 00:17:58,532
Y... You're important to Freya, Tai,
432
00:17:58,557 --> 00:18:00,397
which means you're important to me.
433
00:18:01,752 --> 00:18:06,714
Ah, jeez. I'm sorry.
I've been such a jerk to you.
434
00:18:06,739 --> 00:18:08,175
I've been blaming you for the fact
435
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,636
that my friendship with Freya
436
00:18:09,661 --> 00:18:12,701
isn't what it used to be,
but it's not your fault.
437
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,428
And I hate to admit it,
438
00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:18,707
but you're actually a pretty great guy.
439
00:18:20,051 --> 00:18:22,127
Thank you. That means a lot.
440
00:18:23,163 --> 00:18:25,121
Well, I still think you're a dipshit.
441
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,801
Oh, yeah. Dorky loser dipshit.
442
00:18:27,826 --> 00:18:29,306
Yeah. Thanks, guys.
443
00:18:29,331 --> 00:18:31,594
♪
444
00:18:31,619 --> 00:18:35,013
Mommy! Are you out there?
445
00:18:35,038 --> 00:18:36,850
Mommy!
446
00:18:37,485 --> 00:18:39,353
Over there! On the cliff!
447
00:18:41,475 --> 00:18:45,435
Freya, you don't have to listen to Ace!
448
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:46,679
You can fight it!
449
00:18:46,704 --> 00:18:48,488
It's okay.
450
00:18:48,513 --> 00:18:50,080
I'm just saying goodbye.
451
00:18:50,105 --> 00:18:55,661
♪
452
00:18:55,941 --> 00:19:01,000
Ace, you came to me when
my life felt small and boring,
453
00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:05,504
and you reminded me that
there's still magic out there.
454
00:19:07,404 --> 00:19:09,133
But I don't need you anymore.
455
00:19:10,326 --> 00:19:11,677
I'll be...
456
00:19:12,379 --> 00:19:13,945
alrighty then.
457
00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:16,364
[SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYS]
458
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,999
Alrighty then.
459
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:25,249
♪
460
00:19:25,274 --> 00:19:26,710
We can go home now.
461
00:19:26,735 --> 00:19:29,303
Ahh, I knew you'd be okay.
462
00:19:29,328 --> 00:19:31,461
I wasn't worried about you for a second.
463
00:19:31,486 --> 00:19:32,791
Let's go. Come on.
464
00:19:32,816 --> 00:19:48,919
♪
465
00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:53,180
Guys, isn't it crazy
that this nail is metal,
466
00:19:53,387 --> 00:19:54,997
and we're metal?
467
00:19:55,022 --> 00:19:57,459
We could've been this nail.
468
00:19:57,484 --> 00:20:00,226
I would've made such a good nail.
469
00:20:00,251 --> 00:20:01,894
You know what's a weird word?
470
00:20:02,519 --> 00:20:06,373
- Robot.
- Robot.
471
00:20:06,398 --> 00:20:08,879
Whoa, that is weird.
472
00:20:08,904 --> 00:20:10,514
Hey, guys?
473
00:20:10,539 --> 00:20:13,324
You know how the only numbers
are one and zero?
474
00:20:13,349 --> 00:20:14,655
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
475
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,664
Well, what if there were other numbers?
476
00:20:16,689 --> 00:20:19,995
I mean, there are other numbers.
477
00:20:21,632 --> 00:20:24,156
Two, for example.
478
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,009
- Whoa. [LAUGHS]
- Whoa.
479
00:20:26,034 --> 00:20:28,297
Sid, you're, like, a genius.
480
00:20:28,322 --> 00:20:29,797
Thanks, man.
481
00:20:31,378 --> 00:20:32,675
I'm so [BLEEP] up.
32700
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