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1
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:12,122
[DOUG] You really gonna leave
all this for business school?
2
00:00:12,288 --> 00:00:13,331
I was thinkin' about it.
3
00:00:13,498 --> 00:00:14,707
Well, don't.
4
00:00:14,874 --> 00:00:16,668
The best is yet to come.
5
00:00:16,835 --> 00:00:18,294
[LENNY] Hey, honey, I'm home.
6
00:00:18,461 --> 00:00:20,213
You know, I was thinking
about you and Bambi,
7
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:21,421
seeing you two together like that...
8
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,799
Like what?
9
00:00:22,966 --> 00:00:24,676
But she came to, um...
10
00:00:24,843 --> 00:00:26,970
over to, uh, borrow this bra.
11
00:00:27,137 --> 00:00:28,179
- [BAMBI] Oh, yes.
- Mm-hmm.
12
00:00:28,346 --> 00:00:30,265
I lost mine in a well.
13
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,724
[DOUG] Constance Papadopoulos.
14
00:00:31,891 --> 00:00:34,227
- I love it.
- [DOUG] I pitched her on investing in Bottom Dollar.
15
00:00:34,394 --> 00:00:36,354
No, look, she's-she's
retired from shipping.
16
00:00:36,521 --> 00:00:37,981
She... no. She has zero
publishing experience.
17
00:00:38,148 --> 00:00:39,774
I just hear "deep pockets
18
00:00:39,941 --> 00:00:41,943
with no big ideas of what
to do with a magazine."
19
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,444
Why didn't I think of that?
20
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,029
You don't have to.
That's why you got me.
21
00:00:45,196 --> 00:00:47,031
Maybe I have one good chapter left.
22
00:00:47,198 --> 00:00:49,576
I cannot believe he was right.
23
00:00:49,742 --> 00:00:51,661
[CONSTANCE] Yes, he
was. But do we need him?
24
00:00:54,831 --> 00:00:56,207
[T. REX'S "CHILDREN OF
THE REVOLUTION" PLAYING]
25
00:00:56,374 --> 00:00:57,584
[CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING]
26
00:00:57,750 --> 00:01:00,545
? ?
27
00:01:01,588 --> 00:01:03,006
[SINGER] ? Yeah ?
28
00:01:04,549 --> 00:01:07,385
[CROWD CHEERING]
29
00:01:08,678 --> 00:01:10,722
[SINGER] ? Well, you
can bump and grind... ?
30
00:01:10,889 --> 00:01:12,557
[CROWD CHANTING]
31
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:15,310
? It's good for your mind ?
32
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,978
? Well, you... ?
33
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,897
Now this is what I call a comeback, huh?
34
00:01:19,063 --> 00:01:21,316
Yeah, baby.
35
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,526
[SINGER] ? No, you won't fool ?
36
00:01:23,693 --> 00:01:26,154
? The children of the revolution ?
37
00:01:26,321 --> 00:01:27,697
? No, no... ?
38
00:01:27,863 --> 00:01:30,783
When I bought this
company three weeks ago,
39
00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:33,488
this is exactly the kind
of cultural happening
40
00:01:33,654 --> 00:01:35,198
that I hoped to become a part of.
41
00:01:35,365 --> 00:01:38,701
And I have this man
and his global vision
42
00:01:38,868 --> 00:01:40,995
to thank for pulling me out
of a premature retirement
43
00:01:41,162 --> 00:01:44,207
and hosting this historic event.
44
00:01:44,374 --> 00:01:47,377
You know, a lot of
people counted us out.
45
00:01:47,544 --> 00:01:51,673
But we are back, and
we are better than ever
46
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,591
with the hottest new movie
47
00:01:53,758 --> 00:01:56,177
to launch the hottest new company, BDP.
48
00:01:56,344 --> 00:01:58,220
Remember that name.
49
00:01:58,388 --> 00:02:00,557
We're becoming a major player in media.
50
00:02:00,723 --> 00:02:02,475
And, sure, Minx is our flagship,
51
00:02:02,642 --> 00:02:05,854
but we're gonna be so much
more than just one magazine.
52
00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,106
I'm CFO, chief fun officer.
53
00:02:08,273 --> 00:02:10,400
And I'm art director,
which is an actual title.
54
00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:12,402
We're building a
catalog of new magazines.
55
00:02:12,569 --> 00:02:14,653
Hosting fancy parties like this one.
56
00:02:14,821 --> 00:02:16,072
There might even be some merchandise
57
00:02:16,239 --> 00:02:17,532
- coming your way.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPS]
58
00:02:17,699 --> 00:02:19,409
You said you wanted splashy.
59
00:02:19,576 --> 00:02:21,244
- Is this splashy enough?
- Well, it's a beginning.
60
00:02:21,411 --> 00:02:23,121
Where's our star editor? Not here yet?
61
00:02:23,288 --> 00:02:24,330
Oh, Joyce? Uh, she's coming.
62
00:02:24,497 --> 00:02:25,540
She loves red carpets.
63
00:02:25,706 --> 00:02:26,958
She absolutely loves them.
64
00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:31,588
[PROTESTERS SHOUTING "PORN-NO"]
65
00:02:31,754 --> 00:02:33,298
[PROTESTERS] Faith not
filth. Faith not filth.
66
00:02:33,464 --> 00:02:36,050
Faith not filth. Faith not filth!
67
00:02:36,217 --> 00:02:38,386
[STREAKER] Whoo! Yeah.
68
00:02:43,975 --> 00:02:46,019
[CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING]
69
00:02:47,812 --> 00:02:49,439
- Hello!
- Where were you?
70
00:02:49,606 --> 00:02:51,608
[JOYCE] Oh, sorry. The 101 was crazy.
71
00:02:51,774 --> 00:02:53,109
No, it wasn't. That's how we got here.
72
00:02:53,276 --> 00:02:55,069
Okay, fine. I was writing
my editor's letter.
73
00:02:55,236 --> 00:02:56,571
A fine thank-you for giving
her the bigger office.
74
00:02:56,738 --> 00:02:57,864
They're the same size.
75
00:02:58,031 --> 00:02:59,240
The glass creates an optical illusion.
76
00:02:59,407 --> 00:03:01,783
- They are not.
- [JOYCE] Look, it's the first issue with the new owner.
77
00:03:01,868 --> 00:03:03,786
I wanted to make the
right statement, okay?
78
00:03:03,953 --> 00:03:07,957
And, um, speaking of, are
we sure that Deep Throat
79
00:03:08,124 --> 00:03:10,126
is really putting our best foot forward?
80
00:03:10,293 --> 00:03:11,794
Oh, I think so. It's
a really feminist tale.
81
00:03:11,961 --> 00:03:13,296
It's about a woman
searching for an orgasm.
82
00:03:13,463 --> 00:03:15,340
Yeah, which she finds via a clitoris
83
00:03:15,506 --> 00:03:17,967
conveniently located
inside of her mouth?
84
00:03:18,134 --> 00:03:19,177
It's always in the last place you look.
85
00:03:19,344 --> 00:03:20,762
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
86
00:03:20,929 --> 00:03:22,222
This is our big launch, Joycey,
87
00:03:22,388 --> 00:03:23,681
just smile and make us look good.
88
00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:24,933
- Have a little fun.
- All right.
89
00:03:25,099 --> 00:03:26,434
This is a big win for us.
90
00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:27,810
- [JOYCE] Yeah.
- Oh, my gosh,
91
00:03:27,977 --> 00:03:29,145
there are so many fabulous people here.
92
00:03:29,312 --> 00:03:30,396
Any new names on the, uh, guest list?
93
00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:33,816
Red Buttons, the
Alans... Alda and Arkin...
94
00:03:33,983 --> 00:03:35,151
and, you're never gonna believe this,
95
00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:36,861
Warren frickin' Beatty.
96
00:03:37,028 --> 00:03:38,655
- [CHUCKLES]
- Connie's gonna love this.
97
00:03:38,821 --> 00:03:40,281
Porn has gone mainstream.
98
00:03:40,448 --> 00:03:41,574
- We should have an after-party, right?
- Yes.
99
00:03:41,741 --> 00:03:42,741
- [JOYCE] No. No.
- [DOUG] Yes, let's do
100
00:03:42,742 --> 00:03:43,992
- an after-party.
- God no.
101
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,870
The second this is over,
I'm at home in the bath.
102
00:03:46,037 --> 00:03:47,212
Joan Didion has a new
piece in the Paris Review.
103
00:03:47,247 --> 00:03:48,790
I've been saving it.
104
00:03:48,956 --> 00:03:51,167
- It's 7,000 words, no pictures.
- It's a quick read.
105
00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:52,627
- [CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING]
- [SCREAMING]
106
00:03:52,794 --> 00:03:53,794
[DOUG] Rich, go take some photos.
107
00:03:53,878 --> 00:03:55,171
Bambs, mingle.
108
00:03:55,338 --> 00:03:56,798
When you see Warren Beatty, let me know.
109
00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:58,967
- I wanna meet him.
- Definitely.
110
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:00,134
What about me?
111
00:04:00,301 --> 00:04:01,886
You're management, baby.
112
00:04:02,053 --> 00:04:03,429
You're not lifting a finger.
You just enjoy your night.
113
00:04:03,596 --> 00:04:06,975
Well, we are certainly a
long way from Seneca Falls.
114
00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:08,351
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Yeah.
115
00:04:08,518 --> 00:04:09,519
[CONSTANCE] Come have a drink with me.
116
00:04:09,686 --> 00:04:10,978
- With pleasure.
- You guys have fun.
117
00:04:11,145 --> 00:04:12,730
We will. Nice cane, by the way.
118
00:04:12,897 --> 00:04:14,274
It's a walking stick. Churchill had one.
119
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,608
So did Willy Wonka.
120
00:04:15,775 --> 00:04:17,443
Oh, let him have his moment.
121
00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:19,320
Poor man already feels
like an appendage.
122
00:04:19,487 --> 00:04:20,738
- [TIMMY] Mr. Renetti...
- What?
123
00:04:20,905 --> 00:04:21,990
[TIMMY] ... I'm Timmy,
the projectionist.
124
00:04:22,156 --> 00:04:23,408
[DOUG] Okay.
125
00:04:23,574 --> 00:04:25,159
[TIMMY] Sorry, sir, we have a problem.
126
00:04:25,326 --> 00:04:26,577
Deep Throat is missing.
127
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,663
[CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING]
128
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,374
[PRETTY'S "FUNHOUSE" PLAYING]
129
00:04:31,541 --> 00:04:34,127
? ?
130
00:04:34,294 --> 00:04:37,088
[SINGER] ? Uhn, ahh ?
131
00:04:38,298 --> 00:04:40,675
[DOUG] Okay. [INDISTINCT]
132
00:04:40,842 --> 00:04:42,218
Why are you freakin' me out, Timmy?
133
00:04:42,385 --> 00:04:44,929
- They're right here.
- Yes, the canisters.
134
00:04:45,096 --> 00:04:46,306
[DOUG] Okay?
135
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,184
What am I lookin' at here?
136
00:04:50,351 --> 00:04:51,978
That's Bedknobs and Broomsticks,
137
00:04:52,145 --> 00:04:54,147
a five-time Academy Award
nominated musical fantasy
138
00:04:54,314 --> 00:04:56,024
set during World War II.
139
00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:57,692
Three adorable moppets
are placed in the care
140
00:04:57,859 --> 00:04:59,694
of an apprentice witch
played by Angela Lansbury.
141
00:04:59,861 --> 00:05:01,612
Apprentice? The woman's
nearly 70 years old.
142
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:04,699
- [SIGHS]
- [TIMMY] Miss Lansbury's in her early 40s.
143
00:05:04,866 --> 00:05:06,075
She just has one of those faces.
144
00:05:06,242 --> 00:05:09,245
Well, unless somebody comes
on that face in the second act,
145
00:05:09,412 --> 00:05:11,164
this audience is gonna eat me alive.
146
00:05:11,331 --> 00:05:12,415
What can I say, Doug?
147
00:05:12,582 --> 00:05:14,000
My old lady made me hire her son.
148
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:16,753
He's a fuckin' moron.
149
00:05:16,919 --> 00:05:18,838
Yeah, Dwight, I'm talkin' about you.
150
00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:20,757
Aw, you really fucked me
on this one, you know that?
151
00:05:20,923 --> 00:05:22,091
[CLIFF] You think you got it bad?
152
00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:24,551
I'd hate to be at that
birthday party in Palos Verdes.
153
00:05:24,677 --> 00:05:27,722
[PERSON] I'm gonna slide
up and down the banister.
154
00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:29,766
I thought the bed was gonna fly.
155
00:05:29,932 --> 00:05:31,642
I guess you could drive over there.
156
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:32,935
[DOUG] It's a two-hour drive.
157
00:05:33,102 --> 00:05:34,562
Jesus fucking Christ.
158
00:05:34,729 --> 00:05:36,064
I have a theater full of people.
159
00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:37,357
My boss is here.
160
00:05:37,523 --> 00:05:39,817
You are in luck.
161
00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:42,070
There's another copy of the film nearby.
162
00:05:42,236 --> 00:05:43,571
Bob Evans been sittin' on it.
163
00:05:43,738 --> 00:05:44,906
[TINA] Who the hell is Bob Evans?
164
00:05:45,073 --> 00:05:46,074
[DOUG] He's some Hollywood hotshot,
165
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,325
and I think he did The Godfather.
166
00:05:47,492 --> 00:05:48,567
Here, give me that.
Give me that. Come here.
167
00:05:48,576 --> 00:05:49,952
- [JOYCE] Director?
- [DOUG] Uh, no.
168
00:05:50,119 --> 00:05:51,204
- [JOYCE] Writer?
- [DOUG] I... I don't know.
169
00:05:51,204 --> 00:05:53,247
All I know is, he's been
spankin' it to this movie
170
00:05:53,414 --> 00:05:54,791
- for two weeks straight.
- [RICHIE] Ali MacGraw
171
00:05:54,957 --> 00:05:56,626
left him for Steve McQueen.
Cut the guy some slack.
172
00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:58,086
[TINA] Doug, what the hell are we doin'?
173
00:05:58,252 --> 00:06:00,213
It's 30 minutes there.
It's 30 minutes back.
174
00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:01,714
Please... I'll-I'll vamp for the crowd.
175
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:03,174
Just please do this for me.
176
00:06:03,716 --> 00:06:04,716
[RICHIE] Thomas Guide?
177
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,094
[DOUG] It's in the back seat.
178
00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:08,221
And, please, easy on the brakes.
179
00:06:08,388 --> 00:06:10,640
It's a very expensive car.
180
00:06:10,807 --> 00:06:11,807
Thank you, guys. I love you, I love you,
181
00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:13,434
I love you.
182
00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:16,229
[PROTESTERS SHOUTING "PORN-NO"]
183
00:06:19,732 --> 00:06:21,150
[EXHALES]
184
00:06:21,317 --> 00:06:22,443
- Everything all right?
- Oh, with me?
185
00:06:22,610 --> 00:06:24,153
Fantastic. Thank you for asking.
186
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,156
? ?
187
00:06:29,450 --> 00:06:30,952
Who's that? Who's that?
188
00:06:31,119 --> 00:06:33,037
- Hmm?
- Who was that?
189
00:06:33,204 --> 00:06:34,831
- I don't know. Is he famous?
- [BAMBI] Hi!
190
00:06:34,997 --> 00:06:36,916
- [LENNY] Hey.
- I didn't think you guys were gonna show.
191
00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,334
[SHELLY] Yeah, me neither,
192
00:06:38,501 --> 00:06:39,877
especially after I buried
the first invitation
193
00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:41,963
at the bottom of the trash can.
194
00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:43,172
But then the second one showed up
195
00:06:43,339 --> 00:06:44,339
and this one got his hands on it,
196
00:06:44,424 --> 00:06:45,632
so here we are.
197
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,593
This scene is wild.
198
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,011
- [SHELLY CLEARS THROAT]
- You know what? I am.
199
00:06:49,178 --> 00:06:50,178
I'm gonna unbutton the second button.
200
00:06:50,304 --> 00:06:51,304
- Yes, fun.
- [SHELLY] No, no, no.
201
00:06:51,431 --> 00:06:52,890
You have that eczema patch.
202
00:06:53,057 --> 00:06:54,183
Oh, just put the chain
over it. It'll be foxy.
203
00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:56,018
[SHELLY] No, no, no. I got it. I got it.
204
00:06:56,185 --> 00:06:57,185
- I got it. It's okay.
- [BAMBI GIGGLES]
205
00:06:57,270 --> 00:06:58,271
That's perfect. Thank you.
206
00:06:58,438 --> 00:06:59,814
You guys, drinkies.
207
00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:01,149
I'm Chief Fun Offering my services.
208
00:07:01,315 --> 00:07:03,317
Um, uh, two Jack and Cokes,
209
00:07:03,484 --> 00:07:04,610
unless you have anything stronger.
210
00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:06,154
Um, I'll see what they have.
211
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,613
- Mm-hmm.
- [JOYCE] Oh, my God.
212
00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:09,031
Thank God you're here.
213
00:07:09,198 --> 00:07:10,324
You can keep me company
at this bacchanal.
214
00:07:10,491 --> 00:07:13,202
- [SIGHS]
- Is that... uh, is that...
215
00:07:13,369 --> 00:07:14,871
is that... no, don't...
is it Telly Savalas?
216
00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:16,037
[SHELLY] That could be any bald head.
217
00:07:16,164 --> 00:07:17,290
[LENNY] No, no. Look at the gleam.
218
00:07:17,457 --> 00:07:18,708
That's him. That's Telly Savalas.
219
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:21,502
- I know it.
- [JOYCE] God, the Lamberts at Deep Throat.
220
00:07:21,669 --> 00:07:23,171
What is the world coming to?
221
00:07:23,337 --> 00:07:25,506
Well, this film is the talk
of the dental community.
222
00:07:25,673 --> 00:07:27,592
Yeah, if that smug
Peter Strom wants to brag
223
00:07:27,757 --> 00:07:30,219
about his porcelain veneers
again, then I'm gonna say,
224
00:07:30,386 --> 00:07:31,929
"Oh, really? Well,
guess what I got to see.
225
00:07:32,096 --> 00:07:33,347
I got to see"... Yul Brynner.
226
00:07:33,514 --> 00:07:34,724
- Oh, is it?
- [GASPS] I knew
227
00:07:34,891 --> 00:07:35,933
- it was a celebrity skull.
- I do like Yul.
228
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,977
[BELL CLANGING]
229
00:07:38,144 --> 00:07:39,353
Now the movie's gonna
start and I didn't say hi.
230
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,189
Uh, you can talk to him after.
231
00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:43,025
- Shall we do this?
- [LENNY] Maybe we're sitting by him.
232
00:07:43,026 --> 00:07:44,285
- [JOYCE] All right...
- Are we sitting by him?
233
00:07:44,286 --> 00:07:45,775
[SHELLY] No, we're definitely
not. We're not seated by him.
234
00:07:45,818 --> 00:07:47,236
- How do you know?
- Please don't. Please don't.
235
00:07:47,403 --> 00:07:49,238
[BAMBI] That's such a
snazzy jacket, Lenny.
236
00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:50,740
- [LENNY] Thank you.
- [BAMBI GIGGLES]
237
00:07:50,907 --> 00:07:52,533
I don't get to, uh,
trot it out very often,
238
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:53,700
- but...
- [SHELLY] You know what?
239
00:07:53,701 --> 00:07:54,869
Let's be close to the aisle.
240
00:07:55,036 --> 00:07:56,496
- [DOUG] Okay. Ooh.
- [SHELLY] Yeah?
241
00:07:56,662 --> 00:07:57,663
- [LENNY] You want me to go...
- [BAMBI] Oh, that's so cute.
242
00:07:57,663 --> 00:07:58,748
Your bladder's the size of a pea.
243
00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:00,124
- [SHELLY] Uh, Joyce...
- [JOYCE] Yeah.
244
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:01,459
[SHELLY] You know what?
You need to sit here.
245
00:08:01,626 --> 00:08:03,085
- We have sister business.
- [BAMBI] Oh, okay.
246
00:08:03,252 --> 00:08:04,420
Prigger! Joyce!
247
00:08:04,587 --> 00:08:06,047
Can I talk to you for a second? Now?
248
00:08:07,423 --> 00:08:08,591
- [SHELLY SIGHS]
- [JOYCE] I'm so sorry, Bambi.
249
00:08:08,757 --> 00:08:10,301
[BAMBI] Okay. Yup.
250
00:08:10,468 --> 00:08:11,886
Okay. Sorry. Excuse us.
251
00:08:12,053 --> 00:08:14,096
[BAMBI GIGGLES] Sorry.
252
00:08:14,263 --> 00:08:15,890
- Just scootch that on over.
- [SHELLY] Oh.
253
00:08:16,057 --> 00:08:17,057
[BAMBI] Okay, what do you think?
254
00:08:17,058 --> 00:08:18,392
Popcorn, nachos, dog of corn?
255
00:08:18,559 --> 00:08:20,686
Oh, uh, nachos, please.
256
00:08:20,853 --> 00:08:22,688
I have seen popcorn hulls get jammed
257
00:08:22,854 --> 00:08:24,065
right up into the gumline.
258
00:08:24,232 --> 00:08:25,983
- Yeah.
- Your job is so interesting.
259
00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:27,777
Oh.
260
00:08:27,944 --> 00:08:29,070
Do you judge people
when they get cavities,
261
00:08:29,237 --> 00:08:31,197
or is it nice to feel needed?
262
00:08:31,363 --> 00:08:33,157
Well, is it crazy if I say
263
00:08:33,324 --> 00:08:35,034
- it's a little bit of both?
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
264
00:08:35,201 --> 00:08:37,245
- [LAUGHS]
- [BAMBI] No.
265
00:08:37,411 --> 00:08:38,411
No, well, that's what I was saying...
266
00:08:38,496 --> 00:08:39,914
[JOYCE] Oh, no.
267
00:08:40,081 --> 00:08:43,111
Something gone awry with your
mob-distributed illegal film?
268
00:08:43,112 --> 00:08:45,058
Okay, listen, Joyce, I-I
might have to get up there
269
00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:45,971
and vamp a little bit for the crowd,
270
00:08:45,972 --> 00:08:47,630
and-and-and I might pull you up, okay?
271
00:08:47,797 --> 00:08:49,298
And I'm gonna need you,
if you get up there,
272
00:08:49,465 --> 00:08:50,925
to talk about the...
kind of the lady Minx
273
00:08:51,092 --> 00:08:52,134
perspective of the movie
to keep people going.
274
00:08:52,134 --> 00:08:53,177
All right, the Minx perspective is gonna
275
00:08:53,344 --> 00:08:55,513
be quite happy in her seat,
eating Nonpareils, okay?
276
00:08:56,305 --> 00:08:57,355
- Want one?
- No, I don't want a Nonpareil.
277
00:08:57,431 --> 00:08:59,058
Those are disgusting.
278
00:09:00,476 --> 00:09:02,687
- Fuck.
- [TIRES SCREECH]
279
00:09:02,853 --> 00:09:04,105
[CAR DOORS CLOSE]
280
00:09:06,482 --> 00:09:08,359
- [INTERCOM BUZZES]
- [GARBLED VOICE] What?
281
00:09:08,526 --> 00:09:09,819
[TINA] We're here for the reels.
282
00:09:09,986 --> 00:09:12,655
[GARBLED VOICE]
283
00:09:12,822 --> 00:09:14,198
[TINA] No. Not Lady Sings the Blues.
284
00:09:14,365 --> 00:09:17,076
- Deep Throat.
- [VOICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
285
00:09:17,243 --> 00:09:19,370
Okay, thank you. You too.
286
00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:23,165
- Kevin's coming down.
- [RICHIE] If you say so.
287
00:09:23,332 --> 00:09:24,787
[DOUG] Welcome, everybody,
288
00:09:24,788 --> 00:09:28,963
to the biggest and baddest
social event of 1973.
289
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:32,049
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
290
00:09:32,215 --> 00:09:34,343
This movie is too hot for New York City.
291
00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:36,178
They couldn't handle it.
292
00:09:36,345 --> 00:09:38,472
- Chicago couldn't handle it.
- [LAUGHTER]
293
00:09:38,639 --> 00:09:40,474
But this is LA, baby.
294
00:09:40,641 --> 00:09:44,687
- Can we handle it?
- [TIMMY MUTTERS]
295
00:09:44,854 --> 00:09:46,397
Oh.
296
00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:53,779
But first, I wanna introduce
297
00:09:53,946 --> 00:09:56,449
Minx's own Joyce Prigger.
298
00:09:56,616 --> 00:09:58,826
Come on up, Joycey.
299
00:09:59,869 --> 00:10:01,120
You're gonna love her. I know I do.
300
00:10:01,287 --> 00:10:03,331
Get up, Joycey.
301
00:10:03,497 --> 00:10:05,875
[BAMBI] Joyce! Joyce!
Joyce! Joyce! Joyce!
302
00:10:06,042 --> 00:10:08,878
Joyce! Joyce! Whoo!
303
00:10:09,045 --> 00:10:11,213
Whoo!
304
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:13,591
Surely we can work something out, guys.
305
00:10:13,758 --> 00:10:17,011
Shutting this down seems to be an
extreme reaction to this situation.
306
00:10:17,178 --> 00:10:18,721
You placed ads on billboards.
307
00:10:18,888 --> 00:10:20,014
You got those drive time idiots
308
00:10:20,181 --> 00:10:21,682
to yammer about it on the radio.
309
00:10:21,849 --> 00:10:23,893
Then you wave your klieg
lights across the city
310
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,811
for a movie that's banned
in half the country.
311
00:10:25,978 --> 00:10:27,229
You tied the DA's hands.
312
00:10:27,396 --> 00:10:30,316
Friends, you're killin' me right now.
313
00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:31,901
[JOYCE] As we're all aware,
314
00:10:32,068 --> 00:10:35,071
Michelangelo was repulsed
by the female form.
315
00:10:35,237 --> 00:10:37,615
- Um... uh...
- [AUDIENCE MUTTERING]
316
00:10:37,782 --> 00:10:40,076
Uh, his greatest depictions...
[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]
317
00:10:40,242 --> 00:10:43,412
... were of virginal, untouched Mary.
318
00:10:43,579 --> 00:10:45,122
[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]
319
00:10:48,501 --> 00:10:50,127
- [FEEDBACK WHINES]
- Uh...
320
00:10:50,294 --> 00:10:51,712
Have you guys seen the movie?
321
00:10:51,879 --> 00:10:53,798
It's more arthouse than it is porn.
322
00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:55,091
You know what it's
about? It's about a woman
323
00:10:55,257 --> 00:10:56,634
- searching for pleasure...
- Mr. Renetti,
324
00:10:56,801 --> 00:10:58,260
this is not a negotiation.
325
00:10:58,427 --> 00:11:00,971
If a single frame of Deep
Throat hits that screen,
326
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:04,392
we're gonna arrest
you and everyone here.
327
00:11:04,558 --> 00:11:06,936
[CANISTERS CLATTER]
328
00:11:07,103 --> 00:11:09,355
You guys really know how to rain
329
00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:11,607
on someone's parade, you know that?
330
00:11:11,774 --> 00:11:13,067
I just don't know what I'm gonna tell
331
00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:14,360
all those people in the theater.
332
00:11:14,527 --> 00:11:15,736
I got no Deep Throat now 'cause of you.
333
00:11:15,903 --> 00:11:17,446
Well, better you say it here
334
00:11:17,613 --> 00:11:18,614
than from the inside of a jail cell.
335
00:11:21,534 --> 00:11:22,827
[SECOND COP] Good night, Mr. Renetti.
336
00:11:22,993 --> 00:11:25,663
[DOUG] I got egg all
over my face, officers.
337
00:11:25,830 --> 00:11:27,748
You win again.
338
00:11:27,915 --> 00:11:29,333
- I lose again.
- [ENGINE RUMBLES]
339
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,001
Thanks for nothin', officers.
340
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,671
[ENGINE REVS]
341
00:11:36,257 --> 00:11:38,759
[RICHIE] Deep dish pizza,
342
00:11:38,926 --> 00:11:41,429
a lake as big as an ocean,
343
00:11:41,595 --> 00:11:42,595
- the Cubbies...
- Is that a haiku?
344
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,598
[RICHIE] No.
345
00:11:44,765 --> 00:11:46,142
I was just listing all the things
346
00:11:46,308 --> 00:11:47,768
that you missed out on by turning down
347
00:11:47,935 --> 00:11:50,479
- the University of Chicago.
- [SIGHS] Don't start.
348
00:11:50,646 --> 00:11:52,398
Running Minx is my business school.
349
00:11:52,565 --> 00:11:55,067
Tina, you're not running
Minx. You're running errands.
350
00:11:55,234 --> 00:11:57,611
Doug can distract us with
all the new titles he wants,
351
00:11:57,778 --> 00:12:00,322
but we're still his gofers.
352
00:12:00,489 --> 00:12:03,242
- [KEVIN CLEARS THROAT]
- [TINA] Oh.
353
00:12:03,409 --> 00:12:04,660
There's supposed to be six.
354
00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:06,036
Yeah. [SIGHS] Bob wanted to give
355
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,705
the last three one more viewing.
356
00:12:07,872 --> 00:12:09,165
- He's had it for a week.
- [KEVIN] I don't know, man.
357
00:12:09,165 --> 00:12:10,374
The engagement sequence cheers him up.
358
00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:11,667
All right, I'll drive
back with the first set.
359
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:12,835
You stay and take a cab with the rest.
360
00:12:13,002 --> 00:12:14,002
[RICHIE] Wha...
361
00:12:15,087 --> 00:12:17,173
Oh, Porn Schlepping 101.
I love that MBA program.
362
00:12:18,716 --> 00:12:20,718
- [EXHALES]
- [KEVIN] Is that grass?
363
00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:22,595
No.
364
00:12:22,762 --> 00:12:25,222
[THE SCREAMING GYSPY BANDITS'
"PREMATURELY" PLAYING]
365
00:12:25,389 --> 00:12:27,975
[BRAKES SCREECH]
366
00:12:28,142 --> 00:12:29,518
- [DOUG] Do you have 'em?
- [TINA] Yes.
367
00:12:29,685 --> 00:12:30,728
Yes.
368
00:12:32,646 --> 00:12:34,565
Oh, Tina, hallelujah.
369
00:12:34,732 --> 00:12:36,192
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
370
00:12:36,358 --> 00:12:38,443
Tell me you weren't ridin' the
brakes like that the whole time.
371
00:12:38,486 --> 00:12:39,695
[TINA] Would you quit worrying?
372
00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:41,155
[DOUG] You kill the
brakes when you do that.
373
00:12:41,322 --> 00:12:43,282
Uh, very good guess, but
no, that is the perineum.
374
00:12:43,449 --> 00:12:45,284
[AUDIENCE CHUCKLES]
375
00:12:45,451 --> 00:12:48,662
Warren, for the 12th time,
I know you know, all right?
376
00:12:48,829 --> 00:12:52,374
We all know you now. Right?
377
00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:55,836
Gentlemen, does any man in this room
378
00:12:56,003 --> 00:12:59,048
besides Warren Beatty over there,
379
00:12:59,215 --> 00:13:01,467
know where the clitoris
is on a female body?
380
00:13:01,634 --> 00:13:03,344
[SHELLY] Absolutely not.
381
00:13:03,511 --> 00:13:04,845
Yes, good sir.
382
00:13:05,012 --> 00:13:07,223
The little nubbin under the beret.
383
00:13:07,389 --> 00:13:10,017
Ew. Jeez.
384
00:13:10,184 --> 00:13:12,269
- But yes. Yes, yes.
- [APPLAUSE]
385
00:13:12,436 --> 00:13:14,271
It's the nubbin.
386
00:13:14,438 --> 00:13:16,816
The nubbin, everybody.
All right, now, let's...
387
00:13:16,982 --> 00:13:21,403
hey-hey, ladies and gentlemen,
you've had enough of me.
388
00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:23,906
Are you ready for the absurdist
389
00:13:24,073 --> 00:13:26,617
cinematic spectacle of our time,
390
00:13:26,784 --> 00:13:28,160
Deep Throat?
391
00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:31,038
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
392
00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,919
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]
393
00:13:38,045 --> 00:13:40,756
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
394
00:13:40,923 --> 00:13:43,759
? ?
395
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,763
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
396
00:13:47,930 --> 00:13:49,098
[RICHIE] So do all of Bob's assistants
397
00:13:49,265 --> 00:13:51,225
have to wait for him to jerk off?
398
00:13:51,392 --> 00:13:52,768
I'm actually a VP at Paramount.
399
00:13:52,935 --> 00:13:54,270
[RICHIE CHUCKLES]
400
00:13:54,436 --> 00:13:55,938
But I started as his assistant,
401
00:13:56,105 --> 00:13:57,898
and he can't stop
thinkin' of me that way.
402
00:13:58,065 --> 00:14:00,568
[SIGHS] The things he makes me do.
403
00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:04,613
[CHUCKLES] You know, if
I ever have an assistant,
404
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:07,783
I swear I'm gonna be so nice to him.
405
00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:09,785
- I do have an assistant.
- [RICHIE] Mm.
406
00:14:09,952 --> 00:14:10,952
[KEVIN] Who do you think is standing
407
00:14:11,078 --> 00:14:13,289
- outside Bob's door right now?
- [RICHIE GIGGLES]
408
00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:17,710
No. No. I'm getting
loopier by the second, so...
409
00:14:19,545 --> 00:14:20,880
And if I like you loopy?
410
00:14:26,010 --> 00:14:27,845
[BOB] Kevin, I'm done. I need
411
00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:29,305
- a strawberry milkshake...
- [KEVIN SIGHS]
412
00:14:29,471 --> 00:14:30,472
[BOB] ... and a menthol cigarette.
413
00:14:30,639 --> 00:14:32,600
Also, I, uh, fired your assistant.
414
00:14:32,766 --> 00:14:33,976
He won't stop crying.
415
00:14:34,143 --> 00:14:35,561
- Duty calls.
- Mm.
416
00:14:37,563 --> 00:14:39,148
Can you get me a cab?
417
00:14:41,275 --> 00:14:42,276
I have a better idea.
418
00:14:42,443 --> 00:14:44,778
[TIRES SQUEAL]
419
00:14:44,945 --> 00:14:46,155
[DOCTOR] Listen, having a clitoris
420
00:14:46,322 --> 00:14:47,698
deep down at the bottom of your throat
421
00:14:47,865 --> 00:14:49,491
is better than having
no clitoris at all.
422
00:14:49,658 --> 00:14:53,412
That's easy for you to say. [WEEPS]
423
00:14:53,579 --> 00:14:55,706
Suppose your balls were in your ear.
424
00:14:58,667 --> 00:14:59,960
Why, then I could hear myself coming.
425
00:15:00,127 --> 00:15:02,922
[LAUGHTER]
426
00:15:04,173 --> 00:15:06,216
Listen, we have the problem solved.
427
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,177
All we have to do now
is find a solution.
428
00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:10,304
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- [LINDA] Like what?
429
00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:11,639
- [LENNY CHUCKLES]
- [LINDA WEEPS]
430
00:15:11,805 --> 00:15:13,974
[DOCTOR] Like-like deep throat.
431
00:15:14,141 --> 00:15:15,309
[SHELLY] Sorry, sorry, sorry.
432
00:15:15,476 --> 00:15:16,476
- Oh, my God.
- [LINDA] Deep what?
433
00:15:16,602 --> 00:15:18,020
[DOCTOR] Deep throat.
434
00:15:18,187 --> 00:15:19,688
[LINDA] You make it sound so easy.
435
00:15:19,855 --> 00:15:22,191
[DOCTOR] Well, it is.
436
00:15:22,358 --> 00:15:25,027
Try it. You'll like it.
437
00:15:25,194 --> 00:15:27,529
[LINDA] Well, what have I got to lose?
438
00:15:27,696 --> 00:15:29,823
- [DOCTOR] Come dear.
- [DOUG] How much time we got left, Timmy?
439
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:32,076
Seven, maybe eight minutes.
440
00:15:32,242 --> 00:15:34,078
[DOUG] Well, it-it's
better to give the audience
441
00:15:34,244 --> 00:15:36,038
some Deep Throat than
no Deep Throat, right?
442
00:15:36,205 --> 00:15:37,998
No. It's way worse.
443
00:15:38,165 --> 00:15:39,750
- See this crack?
- [DOUG] Yeah.
444
00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:42,002
[TIMMY] Sound of Music,
'66. We spooled out
445
00:15:42,169 --> 00:15:43,587
right as the Nazis rushed in.
446
00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:45,386
[DOUG] All right, so we
are about to give blue balls
447
00:15:45,387 --> 00:15:46,387
to this entire theater.
448
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,423
Is that what you're
telling me right now?
449
00:15:47,465 --> 00:15:49,259
Yes, sir.
450
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:52,096
[DOUG] Teens? Teens? Please.
451
00:15:52,262 --> 00:15:53,931
I need you.
452
00:15:54,098 --> 00:15:57,017
I need you to go find Richie and
figure out what the holdup is.
453
00:15:57,184 --> 00:15:58,268
By the time I get there and back,
454
00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,812
this reel'll be long
done. It doesn't m...
455
00:15:59,979 --> 00:16:01,105
No, I have a plan for that.
I have a plan for that.
456
00:16:01,105 --> 00:16:02,105
I'm gonna have Joyce go up there
457
00:16:02,106 --> 00:16:03,190
and tap dance a little bit.
458
00:16:03,357 --> 00:16:04,775
- Please. Please.
- Okay, but it...
459
00:16:04,942 --> 00:16:09,279
- it just doesn't make sense.
- [DOUG] I... I... I need you to go, please.
460
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:11,615
- I'm begging you.
- Ooh, okay. Yep.
461
00:16:13,534 --> 00:16:15,119
[SIGHS] Oh, God.
462
00:16:17,579 --> 00:16:20,499
It's a lot. Right?
463
00:16:20,666 --> 00:16:22,084
I've mostly been watching the crowd
464
00:16:22,251 --> 00:16:23,752
- instead of the screen.
- What? Oh, no.
465
00:16:23,919 --> 00:16:26,171
I-I-I had a large cola.
466
00:16:26,338 --> 00:16:28,132
You know, after three kids,
whoosh, goes right through ya.
467
00:16:28,298 --> 00:16:29,590
Well, Lenny seems to
be having a good time.
468
00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:31,218
[SHELLY] Oh, yeah. Mark my words,
469
00:16:31,385 --> 00:16:32,678
he's in there workshopping
a Deep Throat joke
470
00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:34,013
he'll be telling for years.
471
00:16:36,223 --> 00:16:37,599
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]
472
00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:39,560
[SHELLY] Huh? Ow!
473
00:16:39,727 --> 00:16:41,854
What's wrong with you?
474
00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:44,231
[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]
475
00:16:44,398 --> 00:16:45,774
- Joan Didion?
- Oh, my God.
476
00:16:45,941 --> 00:16:48,444
Is it the auth... Joan
Didion? Is she here?
477
00:16:51,071 --> 00:16:53,073
- [JOYCE] Hi. Hi.
- [SHELLY] Oh, God.
478
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,325
- I'm, uh... I'm Joyce...
- [JOAN] Joyce Prigger, yeah.
479
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:56,827
I enjoyed your little performance.
480
00:16:56,994 --> 00:17:00,039
Oh, God. Blech. [CHUCKLES]
481
00:17:00,205 --> 00:17:01,373
What are you doing here?
482
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:03,667
Forming an opinion.
483
00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:07,087
I wanted to see what all
the... the fuss was about.
484
00:17:07,254 --> 00:17:08,797
Well, people are here. [CHUCKLES]
485
00:17:08,964 --> 00:17:10,924
You know, and people
are really laughing.
486
00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:14,427
But I-I think that's because
of the collective anxiety
487
00:17:14,595 --> 00:17:17,056
of watching something
so unsettling on screen.
488
00:17:17,222 --> 00:17:20,517
The laughter's a nervous
release, you know?
489
00:17:20,684 --> 00:17:22,352
[CHUCKLES]
490
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:23,645
I think they're laughing
'cause it's a comedy.
491
00:17:23,812 --> 00:17:25,481
Yes. I-I agree.
492
00:17:25,647 --> 00:17:27,066
Well, I don't think it was their intent,
493
00:17:27,232 --> 00:17:29,151
but, uh, regardless,
494
00:17:29,318 --> 00:17:31,320
they seem to have
stumbled onto something.
495
00:17:31,487 --> 00:17:32,613
And will you excuse me?
496
00:17:35,407 --> 00:17:37,951
[MOUTHING WORDS]
497
00:17:41,872 --> 00:17:43,123
Hey, Joan?
498
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:46,627
Um, fun idea just occurred to me.
499
00:17:46,794 --> 00:17:49,546
- [JOAN PEEING]
- What if you wrote about this for Minx?
500
00:17:49,713 --> 00:17:50,798
[JOAN] Uh...
501
00:17:50,964 --> 00:17:52,716
Just some small musings, really.
502
00:17:52,883 --> 00:17:56,178
Just you... just your
thoughts on what it all means.
503
00:17:56,345 --> 00:18:00,974
[JOAN] It is possible to continue
this conversation at another time?
504
00:18:01,141 --> 00:18:03,977
[JOYCE] Well, uh, actually,
505
00:18:04,144 --> 00:18:08,148
um, we're having an after-party,
506
00:18:08,315 --> 00:18:10,776
um, which you should come to.
507
00:18:10,943 --> 00:18:12,903
Um, and we can... we can chat there
508
00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:14,988
if you like and talk about life
509
00:18:15,155 --> 00:18:18,200
and star signs and... [CHUCKLES]
510
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:19,493
- Um...
- [JOAN] Oh.
511
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:21,870
- There you go.
- [JOAN] Yeah.
512
00:18:22,037 --> 00:18:23,956
Is this in the valley?
513
00:18:26,083 --> 00:18:27,668
- [PROJECTOR WHIRRING]
- [BANG ON DOOR]
514
00:18:27,835 --> 00:18:29,711
Help me push this against the door.
515
00:18:29,878 --> 00:18:31,213
- It might buy us some time.
- [DOUG] Stop it.
516
00:18:35,384 --> 00:18:36,802
[JOYCE] Her-her-her eyes were smiling.
517
00:18:36,969 --> 00:18:38,220
You know? Like-like-like,
518
00:18:38,387 --> 00:18:41,431
- from ear to ear. Oh!
- [CANISTERS CLATTER]
519
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:44,726
[DOUG] Oh, God, no! [GROANS]
520
00:18:44,893 --> 00:18:46,186
- [SHELLY] Oh! Oh, God.
- [DOUG GRUNTS]
521
00:18:46,353 --> 00:18:47,354
[SHELLY] Oh, that's terrible.
522
00:18:47,521 --> 00:18:48,939
[DOUG] Find reel four.
523
00:18:49,106 --> 00:18:50,274
- [JOYCE] All right. Jesus.
- [RICHIE] Oh, okay.
524
00:18:50,274 --> 00:18:51,608
I haven't seen any of it.
How am I supposed to know
525
00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:52,901
- what's in reel four?
- [DOUG] Shout it out.
526
00:18:53,068 --> 00:18:55,487
- I'll know.
- [RICHIE] I've got, uh, pubic shaving.
527
00:18:55,654 --> 00:18:57,072
Is this the nurse making whoopie?
528
00:18:57,239 --> 00:18:59,116
There's a straw coming
out of her vagina.
529
00:18:59,283 --> 00:19:01,160
That's Coke dildo. [PANTS]
530
00:19:01,326 --> 00:19:02,494
Coke dildo starts reel four.
531
00:19:02,661 --> 00:19:03,661
[DOUG] All right, give me reel four.
532
00:19:03,704 --> 00:19:05,497
It's reel four. Give it to me.
533
00:19:05,664 --> 00:19:07,040
Thank you. Come on.
534
00:19:07,207 --> 00:19:09,001
[JOYCE] Oh, my God. Give me that.
535
00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:10,335
- Come on.
- [DOUG] Fuck!
536
00:19:10,502 --> 00:19:13,422
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
537
00:19:13,589 --> 00:19:15,257
[SINGER] ? Something's wrong ?
538
00:19:15,424 --> 00:19:17,426
- [BOTH YELL]
- [JOYCE] Je... God, reel four.
539
00:19:17,593 --> 00:19:19,887
? ?
540
00:19:20,053 --> 00:19:22,347
[DOCTOR] Case 358.
Albert Finster. Age 25.
541
00:19:22,514 --> 00:19:24,183
Bachelor.
542
00:19:24,349 --> 00:19:25,809
Has an obsession in finding out
543
00:19:25,976 --> 00:19:28,437
that things really do
go better with Coke.
544
00:19:28,604 --> 00:19:30,981
- Relax your muscles...
- [PROJECTOR WHIRS]
545
00:19:31,148 --> 00:19:32,816
[PROJECTOR BEEPS]
546
00:19:32,983 --> 00:19:34,735
[SINGER] ? I'd like to try ?
547
00:19:34,902 --> 00:19:37,362
[LAUGHTER]
548
00:19:37,529 --> 00:19:41,283
? Please don't think less of me ?
549
00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:43,869
? I'd like to drink a little Coke ?
550
00:19:44,036 --> 00:19:45,871
[JOYCE] All right.
551
00:19:46,038 --> 00:19:48,332
Oh. Thank you. [CHUCKLES]
You're very kind.
552
00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:50,000
Thank you.
553
00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:52,252
Hi, hello.
554
00:19:52,419 --> 00:19:54,046
Did you enjoy it? Love your boa.
555
00:19:54,213 --> 00:19:55,797
'Kay, thank you. Great to meet you.
556
00:19:55,964 --> 00:19:58,300
Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
557
00:19:58,467 --> 00:19:59,968
All right, you should
put some ice on that,
558
00:20:00,135 --> 00:20:01,720
because we have an after-party to host.
559
00:20:01,887 --> 00:20:03,639
Thought you nixed that. Who
was it, Joyce Carol Oates
560
00:20:03,805 --> 00:20:05,390
in the bathtub, reading
a book or something?
561
00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:07,851
No, it's Joan Didion, and
she's coming to the party, okay?
562
00:20:08,018 --> 00:20:11,855
She might actually be writing
about Deep Throat for our magazine.
563
00:20:12,022 --> 00:20:13,815
Oh, God, this really is
a cultural phenomenon.
564
00:20:13,982 --> 00:20:15,400
- Uh... it's not gonna happen.
- [JOYCE] Hi.
565
00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:16,818
We don't have time to throw a party.
566
00:20:16,985 --> 00:20:18,487
What? No, it's fine.
Constance is all over it.
567
00:20:18,654 --> 00:20:19,947
She's got a caterer on retainer.
568
00:20:20,113 --> 00:20:21,698
- Constance...
- [JOYCE] Yeah.
569
00:20:21,865 --> 00:20:23,784
... is gonna stock the
booze for one of our parties?
570
00:20:23,951 --> 00:20:25,160
- Yeah.
- [DOUG CHUCKLING] No.
571
00:20:25,327 --> 00:20:26,495
- [JOYCE] Why?
- No, no, if we're gonna do it,
572
00:20:26,662 --> 00:20:27,829
it's gotta be Tina. I'll send Tina.
573
00:20:27,996 --> 00:20:29,146
- She knows what good...
- Tina! Where is Tina?
574
00:20:29,248 --> 00:20:30,874
I haven't seen her
all evening. Thank you.
575
00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:33,377
Hi! Oh, my God, hi.
576
00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:37,172
["IF IT'S ALRIGHT, IT'S
GONNA BE ALL NIGHT" PLAYING]
577
00:20:37,172 --> 00:20:38,507
[BAMBI CHUCKLES] Enjoy!
578
00:20:38,674 --> 00:20:41,802
? ?
579
00:20:42,928 --> 00:20:44,429
- Great choice.
- [SINGER] ? Oh, baby ?
580
00:20:44,596 --> 00:20:46,598
? If it's all right... ?
581
00:20:46,765 --> 00:20:48,016
[LENNY] No, no, I liked it. I liked it.
582
00:20:48,183 --> 00:20:50,310
Of course, I've had a
lot of women patients,
583
00:20:50,477 --> 00:20:51,520
but the only thing I've ever found
584
00:20:51,687 --> 00:20:53,981
in the back of a woman's
throat is esophageal cancer.
585
00:20:54,147 --> 00:20:55,274
- [CHUCKLING]
- So another... oh, yeah.
586
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,858
Hey, you're driving.
587
00:20:57,025 --> 00:20:58,360
[BAMBI] Oh, the green
ones are for focus.
588
00:20:58,527 --> 00:21:00,487
Astronauts take them to survive reentry.
589
00:21:00,654 --> 00:21:03,031
- You can have half.
- [BAMBI] Ooh.
590
00:21:03,032 --> 00:21:05,362
- Give it.
- [KEVIN] I love what you did with the lens flare.
591
00:21:05,363 --> 00:21:06,600
It makes you feel
like someone's looking.
592
00:21:06,601 --> 00:21:07,660
[RICHIE] Most people get derailed
593
00:21:07,661 --> 00:21:09,162
- by the monster cock.
- [CHUCKLES]
594
00:21:09,329 --> 00:21:11,206
Oh. Funny and talented.
595
00:21:11,373 --> 00:21:12,874
Hope you're ready to hit the big time.
596
00:21:13,041 --> 00:21:14,584
- [RICHIE CHUCKLES] Okay.
- [GLASSES CLINK]
597
00:21:14,751 --> 00:21:17,254
[DOUG] Well, the difference
is, cane's got a crook,
598
00:21:17,421 --> 00:21:19,548
whereas this baby right
here... check that out.
599
00:21:19,715 --> 00:21:23,051
Nepalese fire opal.
600
00:21:23,218 --> 00:21:25,512
- They say it's cursed.
- [LAUGHTER]
601
00:21:25,679 --> 00:21:28,098
[CHUCKLES] I say it's expensive.
602
00:21:28,265 --> 00:21:29,891
- [BAMBI] Ahem.
- [DOUG] A great piece.
603
00:21:30,058 --> 00:21:33,603
[SINGER] ? I know you're
gonna make it all right ?
604
00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:36,565
[LAUGHTER]
605
00:21:41,570 --> 00:21:43,030
[PERSON] Oh, yeah? When I was a kid,
606
00:21:43,196 --> 00:21:44,573
I thought a blow job was someone
607
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,325
literally blowing on your dick.
608
00:21:46,491 --> 00:21:48,201
No, the first time I saw a penis,
609
00:21:48,368 --> 00:21:50,454
I thought it was a long belly button.
610
00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:53,707
What kind of wackos
send these unsolicited?
611
00:21:53,874 --> 00:21:55,959
Aw, grandpa thinks he
belongs in a magazine.
612
00:21:56,126 --> 00:21:57,586
[LAUGHTER]
613
00:21:57,753 --> 00:21:59,421
That's Wayne. He has a purple heart.
614
00:21:59,588 --> 00:22:00,881
[JOYCE] Yeah. And a purple penis.
615
00:22:02,257 --> 00:22:05,218
Um...
616
00:22:05,385 --> 00:22:06,803
[PERSON] Hey, can I get a refill?
617
00:22:06,970 --> 00:22:08,805
[LAUGHTER]
618
00:22:08,972 --> 00:22:10,349
[SINGER] ? Now, I know
that when I take you... ?
619
00:22:13,685 --> 00:22:15,354
[CONSTANCE] Ah, nothing more attractive
620
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,939
than a man doing the dishes.
621
00:22:18,106 --> 00:22:19,941
You know, if you were 20 years younger,
622
00:22:20,108 --> 00:22:21,610
I might just lock you away in my tower.
623
00:22:21,777 --> 00:22:23,278
[DOUG] Well, if you
were ten years older,
624
00:22:23,445 --> 00:22:24,905
- I might let ya.
- [CONSTANCE CHUCKLES]
625
00:22:25,072 --> 00:22:26,448
I'm just sayin' my goodbyes.
626
00:22:26,615 --> 00:22:27,908
Not bad for our maiden voyage, huh?
627
00:22:28,075 --> 00:22:29,284
What do you think? You happy?
628
00:22:29,451 --> 00:22:31,078
I especially appreciate
the way you handled
629
00:22:31,244 --> 00:22:34,748
the debacle with the
missing reels and the police.
630
00:22:34,915 --> 00:22:36,458
- What police?
- [CONSTANCE] Mm-hmm.
631
00:22:36,625 --> 00:22:37,625
I know that you're used to taking care
632
00:22:37,626 --> 00:22:40,587
of all these things by
yourself, but use me.
633
00:22:40,754 --> 00:22:43,632
I was the DA's third-largest donor,
634
00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:45,509
and that prickly son of a bitch owes me.
635
00:22:45,675 --> 00:22:47,135
Good to know.
636
00:22:47,302 --> 00:22:49,471
But I like what I saw tonight, Douglas.
637
00:22:49,638 --> 00:22:51,598
I'm very excited to roll up our sleeves
638
00:22:51,765 --> 00:22:53,308
and see where this is gonna go.
639
00:22:53,475 --> 00:22:54,475
Me too.
640
00:22:54,559 --> 00:22:56,311
Oh, and by the way,
641
00:22:56,478 --> 00:22:59,981
awfully generous of you to
give Joyce the larger office.
642
00:23:00,148 --> 00:23:01,483
You are a gentleman.
643
00:23:05,695 --> 00:23:06,738
[DOUG SIGHS]
644
00:23:09,950 --> 00:23:10,950
Your car is on Mulholland
645
00:23:11,076 --> 00:23:13,703
somewhere between
Coldwater and Laurel Canyon.
646
00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:15,372
That Rolls is a piece
of shit, and so are you.
647
00:23:15,539 --> 00:23:16,790
I shouldn't have sent you,
648
00:23:16,791 --> 00:23:17,916
but there was no way
I could have reached...
649
00:23:17,916 --> 00:23:19,292
Laurel and Coldwater?
650
00:23:19,459 --> 00:23:20,710
That's a two-mile stretch, Teens.
651
00:23:20,877 --> 00:23:22,254
[TINA] Tough shit.
652
00:23:22,421 --> 00:23:25,090
I just walked into a big-ass
party that I wasn't invited to
653
00:23:25,257 --> 00:23:27,592
for a movie I didn't get to see.
654
00:23:27,759 --> 00:23:28,759
[DOUG] Go back to the party, guys.
655
00:23:28,802 --> 00:23:30,804
Have fun. Tina, please,
656
00:23:30,971 --> 00:23:31,972
you think that was my intention?
657
00:23:32,139 --> 00:23:33,348
There was no way I could reach you.
658
00:23:33,515 --> 00:23:35,559
[TINA] R�sum�s for my replacement.
659
00:23:35,725 --> 00:23:37,978
I am the managing editor,
Doug, not your secretary.
660
00:23:38,145 --> 00:23:40,188
If you need me, I'll be drinking
661
00:23:40,355 --> 00:23:42,482
your secret Scotch in Joyce's office.
662
00:23:42,649 --> 00:23:44,025
That's where the fun seems to be.
663
00:23:44,192 --> 00:23:47,821
- [LAUGHTER]
- The... the... the only thing
664
00:23:47,988 --> 00:23:49,156
I've found at the back
of a woman's throat
665
00:23:49,322 --> 00:23:51,825
- is a swollen uvula.
- [ALL LAUGH]
666
00:23:53,034 --> 00:23:54,619
Okay, these pills are
definitely making me funnier.
667
00:23:54,786 --> 00:23:56,371
- Can I have the other half now?
- [SHELLY] No. It's 2:00 a.m.
668
00:23:56,538 --> 00:23:57,998
The sitter probably thinks we're dead.
669
00:23:58,165 --> 00:23:59,791
Okay, so what's another hour?
670
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:01,585
You've had enough, okay?
671
00:24:01,751 --> 00:24:04,588
Y-you can tell all your
friends tomorrow at the club
672
00:24:04,754 --> 00:24:08,091
about your big party
with the porn stars.
673
00:24:08,258 --> 00:24:10,886
That's what you think
this night is about?
674
00:24:11,052 --> 00:24:12,679
Shell...
675
00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:17,142
Something is going on with
you, and I don't know what.
676
00:24:17,309 --> 00:24:18,852
And I-I don't quite know
why, but I just figured
677
00:24:18,919 --> 00:24:19,978
it would be good for us to get away
678
00:24:19,978 --> 00:24:21,979
from the kids and the house
and the responsibilities,
679
00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:23,106
try to have a little fun together?
680
00:24:24,733 --> 00:24:26,109
I would like that, too,
681
00:24:26,276 --> 00:24:29,070
to have some fun with you.
682
00:24:29,613 --> 00:24:31,865
Look, I love you.
683
00:24:32,032 --> 00:24:33,533
And-and whatever this is,
684
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:35,243
I wanna figure it out with you.
685
00:24:35,410 --> 00:24:36,411
Do whatever it takes.
686
00:24:38,747 --> 00:24:40,499
I do still have that other half, so...
687
00:24:42,876 --> 00:24:44,252
[LENNY CHUCKLES]
688
00:24:44,419 --> 00:24:46,004
[SINGER] ? ... to your lips, darlin' ?
689
00:24:47,506 --> 00:24:51,343
? It's poison to some ?
690
00:24:51,510 --> 00:24:52,719
[SHELLY SIGHS] Come with me.
691
00:24:52,886 --> 00:24:53,929
I know a place.
692
00:24:55,639 --> 00:24:57,432
[INDISTINCT] ... kiss.
693
00:24:58,225 --> 00:25:00,101
- [BOTH] Oh.
- [RICHIE] Watch out,
694
00:25:00,268 --> 00:25:01,561
the cabinet on the
left is a little wobbly.
695
00:25:01,728 --> 00:25:03,772
- [SHELLY] Okay.
- [RICHIE CHUCKLES]
696
00:25:07,108 --> 00:25:08,485
[JOAN] You're the belle of the ball.
697
00:25:08,652 --> 00:25:10,779
[JOYCE] Joan! Hi.
698
00:25:10,946 --> 00:25:12,864
I didn't know you were here. Hi.
699
00:25:13,031 --> 00:25:14,324
[JOAN] That's by design.
700
00:25:14,491 --> 00:25:15,491
[JOYCE] Oh.
701
00:25:17,035 --> 00:25:18,995
Is that your notebook?
702
00:25:19,162 --> 00:25:21,414
Are you-are you considering
writing the piece?
703
00:25:21,581 --> 00:25:24,376
[SIGHS] I don't think I have
much to say about Deep Throat.
704
00:25:25,377 --> 00:25:27,796
Oh. Really?
705
00:25:27,963 --> 00:25:29,464
Mm.
706
00:25:29,631 --> 00:25:31,800
But doesn't it seem
like people are longing
707
00:25:31,967 --> 00:25:35,637
for a way to be more
open about sexuality
708
00:25:35,804 --> 00:25:39,808
and-and to ask questions
without feeling shame?
709
00:25:39,975 --> 00:25:43,144
And so they've turned this
ridiculous movie into this spectacle
710
00:25:43,311 --> 00:25:46,064
to give themselves a
way to do just that.
711
00:25:46,231 --> 00:25:47,774
And, do you know, I don't
think it stops there.
712
00:25:47,941 --> 00:25:49,859
I-I think... I don't know.
713
00:25:50,026 --> 00:25:51,903
This feels like the
beginning of something.
714
00:25:52,070 --> 00:25:54,364
[SINGER] ? It's poison for some ?
715
00:25:54,531 --> 00:25:56,449
Sounds like you've
already started writing it.
716
00:25:56,616 --> 00:25:58,785
[SINGER] ? So wait like a lady ?
717
00:25:58,952 --> 00:26:02,998
? Lady, lady, lady ?
? Lady, lady, lady ?
718
00:26:03,164 --> 00:26:05,125
? Wait like a lady ?
? Wait like a lady ?
719
00:26:05,292 --> 00:26:07,377
? Lady, lady, lady... ?
720
00:26:07,544 --> 00:26:10,088
[DOUG SIGHS]
721
00:26:10,797 --> 00:26:13,091
- [BAMBI] Hey.
- [DOUG] Hey.
722
00:26:13,258 --> 00:26:14,926
Well, this is the biggest
party we've ever thrown.
723
00:26:15,093 --> 00:26:16,386
[DOUG] Oh, by far.
724
00:26:18,305 --> 00:26:19,639
Ernest Borgnine and Warren Beatty
725
00:26:19,806 --> 00:26:21,016
came to blows in the parking lot.
726
00:26:21,182 --> 00:26:23,643
What? Why didn't anybody come tell me?
727
00:26:23,810 --> 00:26:26,021
It wasn't a fair fight.
728
00:26:26,187 --> 00:26:27,564
Ernie dropped with one punch.
729
00:26:27,731 --> 00:26:29,858
Ugh, I fucking missed everything.
730
00:26:33,403 --> 00:26:35,196
I think I like the old parties better.
731
00:26:35,363 --> 00:26:37,449
Yeah. Porn's gone mainstream.
732
00:26:39,826 --> 00:26:44,205
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
733
00:26:46,207 --> 00:26:47,959
[GROANS]
734
00:26:49,711 --> 00:26:50,879
[TYPEWRITER DINGS]
735
00:26:52,505 --> 00:26:55,216
["NUMBER ONE" PLAYING]
736
00:26:55,383 --> 00:26:58,219
? ?
737
00:26:59,846 --> 00:27:04,059
[SINGER] ? My daddy said ?
738
00:27:06,186 --> 00:27:11,232
? Son, the time's done come ?
739
00:27:13,068 --> 00:27:16,154
? I'm gonna turn you loose
and let go your hand ?
740
00:27:16,321 --> 00:27:20,116
? You got to go in the world
and prove yourself a man ?
741
00:27:22,243 --> 00:27:24,329
? 'Cause you been put down here ?
742
00:27:24,496 --> 00:27:26,122
? To be number one ?
743
00:27:26,289 --> 00:27:27,999
? You've got to rise in the morning ?
744
00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:30,001
? And meet the sun ?
745
00:27:30,168 --> 00:27:33,004
? You gotta sit at the
table and break the bread ?
746
00:27:33,171 --> 00:27:34,673
? And if the blood in your veins ?
747
00:27:34,839 --> 00:27:36,591
? Is runnin' red ?
748
00:27:36,758 --> 00:27:38,468
? Then you ought to be a man ?
749
00:27:38,635 --> 00:27:41,304
? Or you might as well be dead ?
750
00:27:41,471 --> 00:27:44,307
? ?
751
00:27:47,185 --> 00:27:51,398
? My daddy said ?
752
00:27:53,817 --> 00:27:57,862
? Son, the time's done come ?
753
00:28:00,532 --> 00:28:03,952
? You got to look all around ?
? Find a solid stone ?
754
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:05,620
? You got to make things ready ?
755
00:28:05,787 --> 00:28:09,708
? And build yourself a home ?
756
00:28:09,874 --> 00:28:11,918
? 'Cause you been put down here ?
757
00:28:12,085 --> 00:28:13,962
? To be number one ?
758
00:28:14,129 --> 00:28:15,380
? You got to rise in the morning ?
759
00:28:15,547 --> 00:28:17,716
? And meet the sun ?
760
00:28:17,882 --> 00:28:20,468
? You got to sit at the
table and break the bread ?
761
00:28:20,635 --> 00:28:22,554
? And if the blood in your veins ?
762
00:28:22,721 --> 00:28:24,347
? Is runnin' red ?
763
00:28:24,514 --> 00:28:25,849
? Then you ought to be a man ?
764
00:28:26,015 --> 00:28:27,851
? Or you might as well be dead ?
765
00:28:28,017 --> 00:28:29,644
[DOUG] Eighteen.
766
00:28:32,063 --> 00:28:34,190
Motherfuck.
767
00:28:34,941 --> 00:28:38,486
[SINGER] ? My daddy said ?
768
00:28:41,781 --> 00:28:45,785
? Son, the time's done come ?
769
00:28:47,996 --> 00:28:49,581
? You got to find you a woman ?
770
00:28:49,748 --> 00:28:51,916
? And treat her good ?
771
00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:55,003
? Do your duty like
you know you should ?
772
00:28:55,170 --> 00:28:58,465
? You'll never have to
worry 'bout bein' alone ?
773
00:28:58,631 --> 00:29:01,551
? The woman's gonna
make you a happy home ?
774
00:29:04,262 --> 00:29:06,139
? 'Cause you been put down here ?
775
00:29:06,306 --> 00:29:08,099
? To be number one ?
776
00:29:08,266 --> 00:29:09,934
? You got to rise in the morning ?
777
00:29:10,101 --> 00:29:11,936
? And meet the sun ?
778
00:29:12,103 --> 00:29:14,898
? You got to sit at the
table and break the bread ?
779
00:29:15,064 --> 00:29:16,441
? And if the blood in your veins ?
780
00:29:16,608 --> 00:29:18,234
? Is runnin' red ?
781
00:29:18,401 --> 00:29:20,361
? Then you ought to be a man ?
782
00:29:20,528 --> 00:29:24,908
? Or you might as well be dead ?
783
00:29:29,662 --> 00:29:32,540
? Then you ought to be a man ?
784
00:29:32,707 --> 00:29:38,171
? Or you might as well be dead ?
785
00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:46,805
? ?
786
00:29:46,855 --> 00:29:51,405
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