All language subtitles for Minx s02e02 I Thought the Bed Was Gonna Fly.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:12,122 [DOUG] You really gonna leave all this for business school? 2 00:00:12,288 --> 00:00:13,331 I was thinkin' about it. 3 00:00:13,498 --> 00:00:14,707 Well, don't. 4 00:00:14,874 --> 00:00:16,668 The best is yet to come. 5 00:00:16,835 --> 00:00:18,294 [LENNY] Hey, honey, I'm home. 6 00:00:18,461 --> 00:00:20,213 You know, I was thinking about you and Bambi, 7 00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:21,421 seeing you two together like that... 8 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,799 Like what? 9 00:00:22,966 --> 00:00:24,676 But she came to, um... 10 00:00:24,843 --> 00:00:26,970 over to, uh, borrow this bra. 11 00:00:27,137 --> 00:00:28,179 - [BAMBI] Oh, yes. - Mm-hmm. 12 00:00:28,346 --> 00:00:30,265 I lost mine in a well. 13 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,724 [DOUG] Constance Papadopoulos. 14 00:00:31,891 --> 00:00:34,227 - I love it. - [DOUG] I pitched her on investing in Bottom Dollar. 15 00:00:34,394 --> 00:00:36,354 No, look, she's-she's retired from shipping. 16 00:00:36,521 --> 00:00:37,981 She... no. She has zero publishing experience. 17 00:00:38,148 --> 00:00:39,774 I just hear "deep pockets 18 00:00:39,941 --> 00:00:41,943 with no big ideas of what to do with a magazine." 19 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,444 Why didn't I think of that? 20 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,029 You don't have to. That's why you got me. 21 00:00:45,196 --> 00:00:47,031 Maybe I have one good chapter left. 22 00:00:47,198 --> 00:00:49,576 I cannot believe he was right. 23 00:00:49,742 --> 00:00:51,661 [CONSTANCE] Yes, he was. But do we need him? 24 00:00:54,831 --> 00:00:56,207 [T. REX'S "CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION" PLAYING] 25 00:00:56,374 --> 00:00:57,584 [CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING] 26 00:00:57,750 --> 00:01:00,545 ? ? 27 00:01:01,588 --> 00:01:03,006 [SINGER] ? Yeah ? 28 00:01:04,549 --> 00:01:07,385 [CROWD CHEERING] 29 00:01:08,678 --> 00:01:10,722 [SINGER] ? Well, you can bump and grind... ? 30 00:01:10,889 --> 00:01:12,557 [CROWD CHANTING] 31 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:15,310 ? It's good for your mind ? 32 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,978 ? Well, you... ? 33 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,897 Now this is what I call a comeback, huh? 34 00:01:19,063 --> 00:01:21,316 Yeah, baby. 35 00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,526 [SINGER] ? No, you won't fool ? 36 00:01:23,693 --> 00:01:26,154 ? The children of the revolution ? 37 00:01:26,321 --> 00:01:27,697 ? No, no... ? 38 00:01:27,863 --> 00:01:30,783 When I bought this company three weeks ago, 39 00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:33,488 this is exactly the kind of cultural happening 40 00:01:33,654 --> 00:01:35,198 that I hoped to become a part of. 41 00:01:35,365 --> 00:01:38,701 And I have this man and his global vision 42 00:01:38,868 --> 00:01:40,995 to thank for pulling me out of a premature retirement 43 00:01:41,162 --> 00:01:44,207 and hosting this historic event. 44 00:01:44,374 --> 00:01:47,377 You know, a lot of people counted us out. 45 00:01:47,544 --> 00:01:51,673 But we are back, and we are better than ever 46 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,591 with the hottest new movie 47 00:01:53,758 --> 00:01:56,177 to launch the hottest new company, BDP. 48 00:01:56,344 --> 00:01:58,220 Remember that name. 49 00:01:58,388 --> 00:02:00,557 We're becoming a major player in media. 50 00:02:00,723 --> 00:02:02,475 And, sure, Minx is our flagship, 51 00:02:02,642 --> 00:02:05,854 but we're gonna be so much more than just one magazine. 52 00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,106 I'm CFO, chief fun officer. 53 00:02:08,273 --> 00:02:10,400 And I'm art director, which is an actual title. 54 00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:12,402 We're building a catalog of new magazines. 55 00:02:12,569 --> 00:02:14,653 Hosting fancy parties like this one. 56 00:02:14,821 --> 00:02:16,072 There might even be some merchandise 57 00:02:16,239 --> 00:02:17,532 - coming your way. - [CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPS] 58 00:02:17,699 --> 00:02:19,409 You said you wanted splashy. 59 00:02:19,576 --> 00:02:21,244 - Is this splashy enough? - Well, it's a beginning. 60 00:02:21,411 --> 00:02:23,121 Where's our star editor? Not here yet? 61 00:02:23,288 --> 00:02:24,330 Oh, Joyce? Uh, she's coming. 62 00:02:24,497 --> 00:02:25,540 She loves red carpets. 63 00:02:25,706 --> 00:02:26,958 She absolutely loves them. 64 00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:31,588 [PROTESTERS SHOUTING "PORN-NO"] 65 00:02:31,754 --> 00:02:33,298 [PROTESTERS] Faith not filth. Faith not filth. 66 00:02:33,464 --> 00:02:36,050 Faith not filth. Faith not filth! 67 00:02:36,217 --> 00:02:38,386 [STREAKER] Whoo! Yeah. 68 00:02:43,975 --> 00:02:46,019 [CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING] 69 00:02:47,812 --> 00:02:49,439 - Hello! - Where were you? 70 00:02:49,606 --> 00:02:51,608 [JOYCE] Oh, sorry. The 101 was crazy. 71 00:02:51,774 --> 00:02:53,109 No, it wasn't. That's how we got here. 72 00:02:53,276 --> 00:02:55,069 Okay, fine. I was writing my editor's letter. 73 00:02:55,236 --> 00:02:56,571 A fine thank-you for giving her the bigger office. 74 00:02:56,738 --> 00:02:57,864 They're the same size. 75 00:02:58,031 --> 00:02:59,240 The glass creates an optical illusion. 76 00:02:59,407 --> 00:03:01,783 - They are not. - [JOYCE] Look, it's the first issue with the new owner. 77 00:03:01,868 --> 00:03:03,786 I wanted to make the right statement, okay? 78 00:03:03,953 --> 00:03:07,957 And, um, speaking of, are we sure that Deep Throat 79 00:03:08,124 --> 00:03:10,126 is really putting our best foot forward? 80 00:03:10,293 --> 00:03:11,794 Oh, I think so. It's a really feminist tale. 81 00:03:11,961 --> 00:03:13,296 It's about a woman searching for an orgasm. 82 00:03:13,463 --> 00:03:15,340 Yeah, which she finds via a clitoris 83 00:03:15,506 --> 00:03:17,967 conveniently located inside of her mouth? 84 00:03:18,134 --> 00:03:19,177 It's always in the last place you look. 85 00:03:19,344 --> 00:03:20,762 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 86 00:03:20,929 --> 00:03:22,222 This is our big launch, Joycey, 87 00:03:22,388 --> 00:03:23,681 just smile and make us look good. 88 00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:24,933 - Have a little fun. - All right. 89 00:03:25,099 --> 00:03:26,434 This is a big win for us. 90 00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:27,810 - [JOYCE] Yeah. - Oh, my gosh, 91 00:03:27,977 --> 00:03:29,145 there are so many fabulous people here. 92 00:03:29,312 --> 00:03:30,396 Any new names on the, uh, guest list? 93 00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:33,816 Red Buttons, the Alans... Alda and Arkin... 94 00:03:33,983 --> 00:03:35,151 and, you're never gonna believe this, 95 00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:36,861 Warren frickin' Beatty. 96 00:03:37,028 --> 00:03:38,655 - [CHUCKLES] - Connie's gonna love this. 97 00:03:38,821 --> 00:03:40,281 Porn has gone mainstream. 98 00:03:40,448 --> 00:03:41,574 - We should have an after-party, right? - Yes. 99 00:03:41,741 --> 00:03:42,741 - [JOYCE] No. No. - [DOUG] Yes, let's do 100 00:03:42,742 --> 00:03:43,992 - an after-party. - God no. 101 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,870 The second this is over, I'm at home in the bath. 102 00:03:46,037 --> 00:03:47,212 Joan Didion has a new piece in the Paris Review. 103 00:03:47,247 --> 00:03:48,790 I've been saving it. 104 00:03:48,956 --> 00:03:51,167 - It's 7,000 words, no pictures. - It's a quick read. 105 00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:52,627 - [CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING] - [SCREAMING] 106 00:03:52,794 --> 00:03:53,794 [DOUG] Rich, go take some photos. 107 00:03:53,878 --> 00:03:55,171 Bambs, mingle. 108 00:03:55,338 --> 00:03:56,798 When you see Warren Beatty, let me know. 109 00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:58,967 - I wanna meet him. - Definitely. 110 00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:00,134 What about me? 111 00:04:00,301 --> 00:04:01,886 You're management, baby. 112 00:04:02,053 --> 00:04:03,429 You're not lifting a finger. You just enjoy your night. 113 00:04:03,596 --> 00:04:06,975 Well, we are certainly a long way from Seneca Falls. 114 00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:08,351 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Yeah. 115 00:04:08,518 --> 00:04:09,519 [CONSTANCE] Come have a drink with me. 116 00:04:09,686 --> 00:04:10,978 - With pleasure. - You guys have fun. 117 00:04:11,145 --> 00:04:12,730 We will. Nice cane, by the way. 118 00:04:12,897 --> 00:04:14,274 It's a walking stick. Churchill had one. 119 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,608 So did Willy Wonka. 120 00:04:15,775 --> 00:04:17,443 Oh, let him have his moment. 121 00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:19,320 Poor man already feels like an appendage. 122 00:04:19,487 --> 00:04:20,738 - [TIMMY] Mr. Renetti... - What? 123 00:04:20,905 --> 00:04:21,990 [TIMMY] ... I'm Timmy, the projectionist. 124 00:04:22,156 --> 00:04:23,408 [DOUG] Okay. 125 00:04:23,574 --> 00:04:25,159 [TIMMY] Sorry, sir, we have a problem. 126 00:04:25,326 --> 00:04:26,577 Deep Throat is missing. 127 00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,663 [CAMERA SHUTTERS SNAPPING] 128 00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,374 [PRETTY'S "FUNHOUSE" PLAYING] 129 00:04:31,541 --> 00:04:34,127 ? ? 130 00:04:34,294 --> 00:04:37,088 [SINGER] ? Uhn, ahh ? 131 00:04:38,298 --> 00:04:40,675 [DOUG] Okay. [INDISTINCT] 132 00:04:40,842 --> 00:04:42,218 Why are you freakin' me out, Timmy? 133 00:04:42,385 --> 00:04:44,929 - They're right here. - Yes, the canisters. 134 00:04:45,096 --> 00:04:46,306 [DOUG] Okay? 135 00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,184 What am I lookin' at here? 136 00:04:50,351 --> 00:04:51,978 That's Bedknobs and Broomsticks, 137 00:04:52,145 --> 00:04:54,147 a five-time Academy Award nominated musical fantasy 138 00:04:54,314 --> 00:04:56,024 set during World War II. 139 00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:57,692 Three adorable moppets are placed in the care 140 00:04:57,859 --> 00:04:59,694 of an apprentice witch played by Angela Lansbury. 141 00:04:59,861 --> 00:05:01,612 Apprentice? The woman's nearly 70 years old. 142 00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:04,699 - [SIGHS] - [TIMMY] Miss Lansbury's in her early 40s. 143 00:05:04,866 --> 00:05:06,075 She just has one of those faces. 144 00:05:06,242 --> 00:05:09,245 Well, unless somebody comes on that face in the second act, 145 00:05:09,412 --> 00:05:11,164 this audience is gonna eat me alive. 146 00:05:11,331 --> 00:05:12,415 What can I say, Doug? 147 00:05:12,582 --> 00:05:14,000 My old lady made me hire her son. 148 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:16,753 He's a fuckin' moron. 149 00:05:16,919 --> 00:05:18,838 Yeah, Dwight, I'm talkin' about you. 150 00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:20,757 Aw, you really fucked me on this one, you know that? 151 00:05:20,923 --> 00:05:22,091 [CLIFF] You think you got it bad? 152 00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:24,551 I'd hate to be at that birthday party in Palos Verdes. 153 00:05:24,677 --> 00:05:27,722 [PERSON] I'm gonna slide up and down the banister. 154 00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:29,766 I thought the bed was gonna fly. 155 00:05:29,932 --> 00:05:31,642 I guess you could drive over there. 156 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:32,935 [DOUG] It's a two-hour drive. 157 00:05:33,102 --> 00:05:34,562 Jesus fucking Christ. 158 00:05:34,729 --> 00:05:36,064 I have a theater full of people. 159 00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:37,357 My boss is here. 160 00:05:37,523 --> 00:05:39,817 You are in luck. 161 00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:42,070 There's another copy of the film nearby. 162 00:05:42,236 --> 00:05:43,571 Bob Evans been sittin' on it. 163 00:05:43,738 --> 00:05:44,906 [TINA] Who the hell is Bob Evans? 164 00:05:45,073 --> 00:05:46,074 [DOUG] He's some Hollywood hotshot, 165 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,325 and I think he did The Godfather. 166 00:05:47,492 --> 00:05:48,567 Here, give me that. Give me that. Come here. 167 00:05:48,576 --> 00:05:49,952 - [JOYCE] Director? - [DOUG] Uh, no. 168 00:05:50,119 --> 00:05:51,204 - [JOYCE] Writer? - [DOUG] I... I don't know. 169 00:05:51,204 --> 00:05:53,247 All I know is, he's been spankin' it to this movie 170 00:05:53,414 --> 00:05:54,791 - for two weeks straight. - [RICHIE] Ali MacGraw 171 00:05:54,957 --> 00:05:56,626 left him for Steve McQueen. Cut the guy some slack. 172 00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:58,086 [TINA] Doug, what the hell are we doin'? 173 00:05:58,252 --> 00:06:00,213 It's 30 minutes there. It's 30 minutes back. 174 00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:01,714 Please... I'll-I'll vamp for the crowd. 175 00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:03,174 Just please do this for me. 176 00:06:03,716 --> 00:06:04,716 [RICHIE] Thomas Guide? 177 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,094 [DOUG] It's in the back seat. 178 00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:08,221 And, please, easy on the brakes. 179 00:06:08,388 --> 00:06:10,640 It's a very expensive car. 180 00:06:10,807 --> 00:06:11,807 Thank you, guys. I love you, I love you, 181 00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:13,434 I love you. 182 00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:16,229 [PROTESTERS SHOUTING "PORN-NO"] 183 00:06:19,732 --> 00:06:21,150 [EXHALES] 184 00:06:21,317 --> 00:06:22,443 - Everything all right? - Oh, with me? 185 00:06:22,610 --> 00:06:24,153 Fantastic. Thank you for asking. 186 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,156 ? ? 187 00:06:29,450 --> 00:06:30,952 Who's that? Who's that? 188 00:06:31,119 --> 00:06:33,037 - Hmm? - Who was that? 189 00:06:33,204 --> 00:06:34,831 - I don't know. Is he famous? - [BAMBI] Hi! 190 00:06:34,997 --> 00:06:36,916 - [LENNY] Hey. - I didn't think you guys were gonna show. 191 00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:38,334 [SHELLY] Yeah, me neither, 192 00:06:38,501 --> 00:06:39,877 especially after I buried the first invitation 193 00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:41,963 at the bottom of the trash can. 194 00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:43,172 But then the second one showed up 195 00:06:43,339 --> 00:06:44,339 and this one got his hands on it, 196 00:06:44,424 --> 00:06:45,632 so here we are. 197 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,593 This scene is wild. 198 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,011 - [SHELLY CLEARS THROAT] - You know what? I am. 199 00:06:49,178 --> 00:06:50,178 I'm gonna unbutton the second button. 200 00:06:50,304 --> 00:06:51,304 - Yes, fun. - [SHELLY] No, no, no. 201 00:06:51,431 --> 00:06:52,890 You have that eczema patch. 202 00:06:53,057 --> 00:06:54,183 Oh, just put the chain over it. It'll be foxy. 203 00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:56,018 [SHELLY] No, no, no. I got it. I got it. 204 00:06:56,185 --> 00:06:57,185 - I got it. It's okay. - [BAMBI GIGGLES] 205 00:06:57,270 --> 00:06:58,271 That's perfect. Thank you. 206 00:06:58,438 --> 00:06:59,814 You guys, drinkies. 207 00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:01,149 I'm Chief Fun Offering my services. 208 00:07:01,315 --> 00:07:03,317 Um, uh, two Jack and Cokes, 209 00:07:03,484 --> 00:07:04,610 unless you have anything stronger. 210 00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:06,154 Um, I'll see what they have. 211 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,613 - Mm-hmm. - [JOYCE] Oh, my God. 212 00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:09,031 Thank God you're here. 213 00:07:09,198 --> 00:07:10,324 You can keep me company at this bacchanal. 214 00:07:10,491 --> 00:07:13,202 - [SIGHS] - Is that... uh, is that... 215 00:07:13,369 --> 00:07:14,871 is that... no, don't... is it Telly Savalas? 216 00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:16,037 [SHELLY] That could be any bald head. 217 00:07:16,164 --> 00:07:17,290 [LENNY] No, no. Look at the gleam. 218 00:07:17,457 --> 00:07:18,708 That's him. That's Telly Savalas. 219 00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:21,502 - I know it. - [JOYCE] God, the Lamberts at Deep Throat. 220 00:07:21,669 --> 00:07:23,171 What is the world coming to? 221 00:07:23,337 --> 00:07:25,506 Well, this film is the talk of the dental community. 222 00:07:25,673 --> 00:07:27,592 Yeah, if that smug Peter Strom wants to brag 223 00:07:27,757 --> 00:07:30,219 about his porcelain veneers again, then I'm gonna say, 224 00:07:30,386 --> 00:07:31,929 "Oh, really? Well, guess what I got to see. 225 00:07:32,096 --> 00:07:33,347 I got to see"... Yul Brynner. 226 00:07:33,514 --> 00:07:34,724 - Oh, is it? - [GASPS] I knew 227 00:07:34,891 --> 00:07:35,933 - it was a celebrity skull. - I do like Yul. 228 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,977 [BELL CLANGING] 229 00:07:38,144 --> 00:07:39,353 Now the movie's gonna start and I didn't say hi. 230 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,189 Uh, you can talk to him after. 231 00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:43,025 - Shall we do this? - [LENNY] Maybe we're sitting by him. 232 00:07:43,026 --> 00:07:44,285 - [JOYCE] All right... - Are we sitting by him? 233 00:07:44,286 --> 00:07:45,775 [SHELLY] No, we're definitely not. We're not seated by him. 234 00:07:45,818 --> 00:07:47,236 - How do you know? - Please don't. Please don't. 235 00:07:47,403 --> 00:07:49,238 [BAMBI] That's such a snazzy jacket, Lenny. 236 00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:50,740 - [LENNY] Thank you. - [BAMBI GIGGLES] 237 00:07:50,907 --> 00:07:52,533 I don't get to, uh, trot it out very often, 238 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:53,700 - but... - [SHELLY] You know what? 239 00:07:53,701 --> 00:07:54,869 Let's be close to the aisle. 240 00:07:55,036 --> 00:07:56,496 - [DOUG] Okay. Ooh. - [SHELLY] Yeah? 241 00:07:56,662 --> 00:07:57,663 - [LENNY] You want me to go... - [BAMBI] Oh, that's so cute. 242 00:07:57,663 --> 00:07:58,748 Your bladder's the size of a pea. 243 00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:00,124 - [SHELLY] Uh, Joyce... - [JOYCE] Yeah. 244 00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:01,459 [SHELLY] You know what? You need to sit here. 245 00:08:01,626 --> 00:08:03,085 - We have sister business. - [BAMBI] Oh, okay. 246 00:08:03,252 --> 00:08:04,420 Prigger! Joyce! 247 00:08:04,587 --> 00:08:06,047 Can I talk to you for a second? Now? 248 00:08:07,423 --> 00:08:08,591 - [SHELLY SIGHS] - [JOYCE] I'm so sorry, Bambi. 249 00:08:08,757 --> 00:08:10,301 [BAMBI] Okay. Yup. 250 00:08:10,468 --> 00:08:11,886 Okay. Sorry. Excuse us. 251 00:08:12,053 --> 00:08:14,096 [BAMBI GIGGLES] Sorry. 252 00:08:14,263 --> 00:08:15,890 - Just scootch that on over. - [SHELLY] Oh. 253 00:08:16,057 --> 00:08:17,057 [BAMBI] Okay, what do you think? 254 00:08:17,058 --> 00:08:18,392 Popcorn, nachos, dog of corn? 255 00:08:18,559 --> 00:08:20,686 Oh, uh, nachos, please. 256 00:08:20,853 --> 00:08:22,688 I have seen popcorn hulls get jammed 257 00:08:22,854 --> 00:08:24,065 right up into the gumline. 258 00:08:24,232 --> 00:08:25,983 - Yeah. - Your job is so interesting. 259 00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:27,777 Oh. 260 00:08:27,944 --> 00:08:29,070 Do you judge people when they get cavities, 261 00:08:29,237 --> 00:08:31,197 or is it nice to feel needed? 262 00:08:31,363 --> 00:08:33,157 Well, is it crazy if I say 263 00:08:33,324 --> 00:08:35,034 - it's a little bit of both? - [BOTH CHUCKLE] 264 00:08:35,201 --> 00:08:37,245 - [LAUGHS] - [BAMBI] No. 265 00:08:37,411 --> 00:08:38,411 No, well, that's what I was saying... 266 00:08:38,496 --> 00:08:39,914 [JOYCE] Oh, no. 267 00:08:40,081 --> 00:08:43,111 Something gone awry with your mob-distributed illegal film? 268 00:08:43,112 --> 00:08:45,058 Okay, listen, Joyce, I-I might have to get up there 269 00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:45,971 and vamp a little bit for the crowd, 270 00:08:45,972 --> 00:08:47,630 and-and-and I might pull you up, okay? 271 00:08:47,797 --> 00:08:49,298 And I'm gonna need you, if you get up there, 272 00:08:49,465 --> 00:08:50,925 to talk about the... kind of the lady Minx 273 00:08:51,092 --> 00:08:52,134 perspective of the movie to keep people going. 274 00:08:52,134 --> 00:08:53,177 All right, the Minx perspective is gonna 275 00:08:53,344 --> 00:08:55,513 be quite happy in her seat, eating Nonpareils, okay? 276 00:08:56,305 --> 00:08:57,355 - Want one? - No, I don't want a Nonpareil. 277 00:08:57,431 --> 00:08:59,058 Those are disgusting. 278 00:09:00,476 --> 00:09:02,687 - Fuck. - [TIRES SCREECH] 279 00:09:02,853 --> 00:09:04,105 [CAR DOORS CLOSE] 280 00:09:06,482 --> 00:09:08,359 - [INTERCOM BUZZES] - [GARBLED VOICE] What? 281 00:09:08,526 --> 00:09:09,819 [TINA] We're here for the reels. 282 00:09:09,986 --> 00:09:12,655 [GARBLED VOICE] 283 00:09:12,822 --> 00:09:14,198 [TINA] No. Not Lady Sings the Blues. 284 00:09:14,365 --> 00:09:17,076 - Deep Throat. - [VOICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 285 00:09:17,243 --> 00:09:19,370 Okay, thank you. You too. 286 00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:23,165 - Kevin's coming down. - [RICHIE] If you say so. 287 00:09:23,332 --> 00:09:24,787 [DOUG] Welcome, everybody, 288 00:09:24,788 --> 00:09:28,963 to the biggest and baddest social event of 1973. 289 00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:32,049 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 290 00:09:32,215 --> 00:09:34,343 This movie is too hot for New York City. 291 00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:36,178 They couldn't handle it. 292 00:09:36,345 --> 00:09:38,472 - Chicago couldn't handle it. - [LAUGHTER] 293 00:09:38,639 --> 00:09:40,474 But this is LA, baby. 294 00:09:40,641 --> 00:09:44,687 - Can we handle it? - [TIMMY MUTTERS] 295 00:09:44,854 --> 00:09:46,397 Oh. 296 00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:53,779 But first, I wanna introduce 297 00:09:53,946 --> 00:09:56,449 Minx's own Joyce Prigger. 298 00:09:56,616 --> 00:09:58,826 Come on up, Joycey. 299 00:09:59,869 --> 00:10:01,120 You're gonna love her. I know I do. 300 00:10:01,287 --> 00:10:03,331 Get up, Joycey. 301 00:10:03,497 --> 00:10:05,875 [BAMBI] Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! 302 00:10:06,042 --> 00:10:08,878 Joyce! Joyce! Whoo! 303 00:10:09,045 --> 00:10:11,213 Whoo! 304 00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:13,591 Surely we can work something out, guys. 305 00:10:13,758 --> 00:10:17,011 Shutting this down seems to be an extreme reaction to this situation. 306 00:10:17,178 --> 00:10:18,721 You placed ads on billboards. 307 00:10:18,888 --> 00:10:20,014 You got those drive time idiots 308 00:10:20,181 --> 00:10:21,682 to yammer about it on the radio. 309 00:10:21,849 --> 00:10:23,893 Then you wave your klieg lights across the city 310 00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,811 for a movie that's banned in half the country. 311 00:10:25,978 --> 00:10:27,229 You tied the DA's hands. 312 00:10:27,396 --> 00:10:30,316 Friends, you're killin' me right now. 313 00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:31,901 [JOYCE] As we're all aware, 314 00:10:32,068 --> 00:10:35,071 Michelangelo was repulsed by the female form. 315 00:10:35,237 --> 00:10:37,615 - Um... uh... - [AUDIENCE MUTTERING] 316 00:10:37,782 --> 00:10:40,076 Uh, his greatest depictions... [CHUCKLES WEAKLY] 317 00:10:40,242 --> 00:10:43,412 ... were of virginal, untouched Mary. 318 00:10:43,579 --> 00:10:45,122 [CHUCKLES WEAKLY] 319 00:10:48,501 --> 00:10:50,127 - [FEEDBACK WHINES] - Uh... 320 00:10:50,294 --> 00:10:51,712 Have you guys seen the movie? 321 00:10:51,879 --> 00:10:53,798 It's more arthouse than it is porn. 322 00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:55,091 You know what it's about? It's about a woman 323 00:10:55,257 --> 00:10:56,634 - searching for pleasure... - Mr. Renetti, 324 00:10:56,801 --> 00:10:58,260 this is not a negotiation. 325 00:10:58,427 --> 00:11:00,971 If a single frame of Deep Throat hits that screen, 326 00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:04,392 we're gonna arrest you and everyone here. 327 00:11:04,558 --> 00:11:06,936 [CANISTERS CLATTER] 328 00:11:07,103 --> 00:11:09,355 You guys really know how to rain 329 00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:11,607 on someone's parade, you know that? 330 00:11:11,774 --> 00:11:13,067 I just don't know what I'm gonna tell 331 00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:14,360 all those people in the theater. 332 00:11:14,527 --> 00:11:15,736 I got no Deep Throat now 'cause of you. 333 00:11:15,903 --> 00:11:17,446 Well, better you say it here 334 00:11:17,613 --> 00:11:18,614 than from the inside of a jail cell. 335 00:11:21,534 --> 00:11:22,827 [SECOND COP] Good night, Mr. Renetti. 336 00:11:22,993 --> 00:11:25,663 [DOUG] I got egg all over my face, officers. 337 00:11:25,830 --> 00:11:27,748 You win again. 338 00:11:27,915 --> 00:11:29,333 - I lose again. - [ENGINE RUMBLES] 339 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,001 Thanks for nothin', officers. 340 00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,671 [ENGINE REVS] 341 00:11:36,257 --> 00:11:38,759 [RICHIE] Deep dish pizza, 342 00:11:38,926 --> 00:11:41,429 a lake as big as an ocean, 343 00:11:41,595 --> 00:11:42,595 - the Cubbies... - Is that a haiku? 344 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,598 [RICHIE] No. 345 00:11:44,765 --> 00:11:46,142 I was just listing all the things 346 00:11:46,308 --> 00:11:47,768 that you missed out on by turning down 347 00:11:47,935 --> 00:11:50,479 - the University of Chicago. - [SIGHS] Don't start. 348 00:11:50,646 --> 00:11:52,398 Running Minx is my business school. 349 00:11:52,565 --> 00:11:55,067 Tina, you're not running Minx. You're running errands. 350 00:11:55,234 --> 00:11:57,611 Doug can distract us with all the new titles he wants, 351 00:11:57,778 --> 00:12:00,322 but we're still his gofers. 352 00:12:00,489 --> 00:12:03,242 - [KEVIN CLEARS THROAT] - [TINA] Oh. 353 00:12:03,409 --> 00:12:04,660 There's supposed to be six. 354 00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:06,036 Yeah. [SIGHS] Bob wanted to give 355 00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,705 the last three one more viewing. 356 00:12:07,872 --> 00:12:09,165 - He's had it for a week. - [KEVIN] I don't know, man. 357 00:12:09,165 --> 00:12:10,374 The engagement sequence cheers him up. 358 00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:11,667 All right, I'll drive back with the first set. 359 00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:12,835 You stay and take a cab with the rest. 360 00:12:13,002 --> 00:12:14,002 [RICHIE] Wha... 361 00:12:15,087 --> 00:12:17,173 Oh, Porn Schlepping 101. I love that MBA program. 362 00:12:18,716 --> 00:12:20,718 - [EXHALES] - [KEVIN] Is that grass? 363 00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:22,595 No. 364 00:12:22,762 --> 00:12:25,222 [THE SCREAMING GYSPY BANDITS' "PREMATURELY" PLAYING] 365 00:12:25,389 --> 00:12:27,975 [BRAKES SCREECH] 366 00:12:28,142 --> 00:12:29,518 - [DOUG] Do you have 'em? - [TINA] Yes. 367 00:12:29,685 --> 00:12:30,728 Yes. 368 00:12:32,646 --> 00:12:34,565 Oh, Tina, hallelujah. 369 00:12:34,732 --> 00:12:36,192 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 370 00:12:36,358 --> 00:12:38,443 Tell me you weren't ridin' the brakes like that the whole time. 371 00:12:38,486 --> 00:12:39,695 [TINA] Would you quit worrying? 372 00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:41,155 [DOUG] You kill the brakes when you do that. 373 00:12:41,322 --> 00:12:43,282 Uh, very good guess, but no, that is the perineum. 374 00:12:43,449 --> 00:12:45,284 [AUDIENCE CHUCKLES] 375 00:12:45,451 --> 00:12:48,662 Warren, for the 12th time, I know you know, all right? 376 00:12:48,829 --> 00:12:52,374 We all know you now. Right? 377 00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:55,836 Gentlemen, does any man in this room 378 00:12:56,003 --> 00:12:59,048 besides Warren Beatty over there, 379 00:12:59,215 --> 00:13:01,467 know where the clitoris is on a female body? 380 00:13:01,634 --> 00:13:03,344 [SHELLY] Absolutely not. 381 00:13:03,511 --> 00:13:04,845 Yes, good sir. 382 00:13:05,012 --> 00:13:07,223 The little nubbin under the beret. 383 00:13:07,389 --> 00:13:10,017 Ew. Jeez. 384 00:13:10,184 --> 00:13:12,269 - But yes. Yes, yes. - [APPLAUSE] 385 00:13:12,436 --> 00:13:14,271 It's the nubbin. 386 00:13:14,438 --> 00:13:16,816 The nubbin, everybody. All right, now, let's... 387 00:13:16,982 --> 00:13:21,403 hey-hey, ladies and gentlemen, you've had enough of me. 388 00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:23,906 Are you ready for the absurdist 389 00:13:24,073 --> 00:13:26,617 cinematic spectacle of our time, 390 00:13:26,784 --> 00:13:28,160 Deep Throat? 391 00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:31,038 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 392 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,919 [FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING] 393 00:13:38,045 --> 00:13:40,756 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 394 00:13:40,923 --> 00:13:43,759 ? ? 395 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,763 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 396 00:13:47,930 --> 00:13:49,098 [RICHIE] So do all of Bob's assistants 397 00:13:49,265 --> 00:13:51,225 have to wait for him to jerk off? 398 00:13:51,392 --> 00:13:52,768 I'm actually a VP at Paramount. 399 00:13:52,935 --> 00:13:54,270 [RICHIE CHUCKLES] 400 00:13:54,436 --> 00:13:55,938 But I started as his assistant, 401 00:13:56,105 --> 00:13:57,898 and he can't stop thinkin' of me that way. 402 00:13:58,065 --> 00:14:00,568 [SIGHS] The things he makes me do. 403 00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:04,613 [CHUCKLES] You know, if I ever have an assistant, 404 00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:07,783 I swear I'm gonna be so nice to him. 405 00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:09,785 - I do have an assistant. - [RICHIE] Mm. 406 00:14:09,952 --> 00:14:10,952 [KEVIN] Who do you think is standing 407 00:14:11,078 --> 00:14:13,289 - outside Bob's door right now? - [RICHIE GIGGLES] 408 00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:17,710 No. No. I'm getting loopier by the second, so... 409 00:14:19,545 --> 00:14:20,880 And if I like you loopy? 410 00:14:26,010 --> 00:14:27,845 [BOB] Kevin, I'm done. I need 411 00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:29,305 - a strawberry milkshake... - [KEVIN SIGHS] 412 00:14:29,471 --> 00:14:30,472 [BOB] ... and a menthol cigarette. 413 00:14:30,639 --> 00:14:32,600 Also, I, uh, fired your assistant. 414 00:14:32,766 --> 00:14:33,976 He won't stop crying. 415 00:14:34,143 --> 00:14:35,561 - Duty calls. - Mm. 416 00:14:37,563 --> 00:14:39,148 Can you get me a cab? 417 00:14:41,275 --> 00:14:42,276 I have a better idea. 418 00:14:42,443 --> 00:14:44,778 [TIRES SQUEAL] 419 00:14:44,945 --> 00:14:46,155 [DOCTOR] Listen, having a clitoris 420 00:14:46,322 --> 00:14:47,698 deep down at the bottom of your throat 421 00:14:47,865 --> 00:14:49,491 is better than having no clitoris at all. 422 00:14:49,658 --> 00:14:53,412 That's easy for you to say. [WEEPS] 423 00:14:53,579 --> 00:14:55,706 Suppose your balls were in your ear. 424 00:14:58,667 --> 00:14:59,960 Why, then I could hear myself coming. 425 00:15:00,127 --> 00:15:02,922 [LAUGHTER] 426 00:15:04,173 --> 00:15:06,216 Listen, we have the problem solved. 427 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,177 All we have to do now is find a solution. 428 00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:10,304 - [BOTH CHUCKLE] - [LINDA] Like what? 429 00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:11,639 - [LENNY CHUCKLES] - [LINDA WEEPS] 430 00:15:11,805 --> 00:15:13,974 [DOCTOR] Like-like deep throat. 431 00:15:14,141 --> 00:15:15,309 [SHELLY] Sorry, sorry, sorry. 432 00:15:15,476 --> 00:15:16,476 - Oh, my God. - [LINDA] Deep what? 433 00:15:16,602 --> 00:15:18,020 [DOCTOR] Deep throat. 434 00:15:18,187 --> 00:15:19,688 [LINDA] You make it sound so easy. 435 00:15:19,855 --> 00:15:22,191 [DOCTOR] Well, it is. 436 00:15:22,358 --> 00:15:25,027 Try it. You'll like it. 437 00:15:25,194 --> 00:15:27,529 [LINDA] Well, what have I got to lose? 438 00:15:27,696 --> 00:15:29,823 - [DOCTOR] Come dear. - [DOUG] How much time we got left, Timmy? 439 00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:32,076 Seven, maybe eight minutes. 440 00:15:32,242 --> 00:15:34,078 [DOUG] Well, it-it's better to give the audience 441 00:15:34,244 --> 00:15:36,038 some Deep Throat than no Deep Throat, right? 442 00:15:36,205 --> 00:15:37,998 No. It's way worse. 443 00:15:38,165 --> 00:15:39,750 - See this crack? - [DOUG] Yeah. 444 00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:42,002 [TIMMY] Sound of Music, '66. We spooled out 445 00:15:42,169 --> 00:15:43,587 right as the Nazis rushed in. 446 00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:45,386 [DOUG] All right, so we are about to give blue balls 447 00:15:45,387 --> 00:15:46,387 to this entire theater. 448 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,423 Is that what you're telling me right now? 449 00:15:47,465 --> 00:15:49,259 Yes, sir. 450 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:52,096 [DOUG] Teens? Teens? Please. 451 00:15:52,262 --> 00:15:53,931 I need you. 452 00:15:54,098 --> 00:15:57,017 I need you to go find Richie and figure out what the holdup is. 453 00:15:57,184 --> 00:15:58,268 By the time I get there and back, 454 00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,812 this reel'll be long done. It doesn't m... 455 00:15:59,979 --> 00:16:01,105 No, I have a plan for that. I have a plan for that. 456 00:16:01,105 --> 00:16:02,105 I'm gonna have Joyce go up there 457 00:16:02,106 --> 00:16:03,190 and tap dance a little bit. 458 00:16:03,357 --> 00:16:04,775 - Please. Please. - Okay, but it... 459 00:16:04,942 --> 00:16:09,279 - it just doesn't make sense. - [DOUG] I... I... I need you to go, please. 460 00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:11,615 - I'm begging you. - Ooh, okay. Yep. 461 00:16:13,534 --> 00:16:15,119 [SIGHS] Oh, God. 462 00:16:17,579 --> 00:16:20,499 It's a lot. Right? 463 00:16:20,666 --> 00:16:22,084 I've mostly been watching the crowd 464 00:16:22,251 --> 00:16:23,752 - instead of the screen. - What? Oh, no. 465 00:16:23,919 --> 00:16:26,171 I-I-I had a large cola. 466 00:16:26,338 --> 00:16:28,132 You know, after three kids, whoosh, goes right through ya. 467 00:16:28,298 --> 00:16:29,590 Well, Lenny seems to be having a good time. 468 00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:31,218 [SHELLY] Oh, yeah. Mark my words, 469 00:16:31,385 --> 00:16:32,678 he's in there workshopping a Deep Throat joke 470 00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:34,013 he'll be telling for years. 471 00:16:36,223 --> 00:16:37,599 [MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY] 472 00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:39,560 [SHELLY] Huh? Ow! 473 00:16:39,727 --> 00:16:41,854 What's wrong with you? 474 00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:44,231 [MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY] 475 00:16:44,398 --> 00:16:45,774 - Joan Didion? - Oh, my God. 476 00:16:45,941 --> 00:16:48,444 Is it the auth... Joan Didion? Is she here? 477 00:16:51,071 --> 00:16:53,073 - [JOYCE] Hi. Hi. - [SHELLY] Oh, God. 478 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,325 - I'm, uh... I'm Joyce... - [JOAN] Joyce Prigger, yeah. 479 00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:56,827 I enjoyed your little performance. 480 00:16:56,994 --> 00:17:00,039 Oh, God. Blech. [CHUCKLES] 481 00:17:00,205 --> 00:17:01,373 What are you doing here? 482 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:03,667 Forming an opinion. 483 00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:07,087 I wanted to see what all the... the fuss was about. 484 00:17:07,254 --> 00:17:08,797 Well, people are here. [CHUCKLES] 485 00:17:08,964 --> 00:17:10,924 You know, and people are really laughing. 486 00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:14,427 But I-I think that's because of the collective anxiety 487 00:17:14,595 --> 00:17:17,056 of watching something so unsettling on screen. 488 00:17:17,222 --> 00:17:20,517 The laughter's a nervous release, you know? 489 00:17:20,684 --> 00:17:22,352 [CHUCKLES] 490 00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:23,645 I think they're laughing 'cause it's a comedy. 491 00:17:23,812 --> 00:17:25,481 Yes. I-I agree. 492 00:17:25,647 --> 00:17:27,066 Well, I don't think it was their intent, 493 00:17:27,232 --> 00:17:29,151 but, uh, regardless, 494 00:17:29,318 --> 00:17:31,320 they seem to have stumbled onto something. 495 00:17:31,487 --> 00:17:32,613 And will you excuse me? 496 00:17:35,407 --> 00:17:37,951 [MOUTHING WORDS] 497 00:17:41,872 --> 00:17:43,123 Hey, Joan? 498 00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:46,627 Um, fun idea just occurred to me. 499 00:17:46,794 --> 00:17:49,546 - [JOAN PEEING] - What if you wrote about this for Minx? 500 00:17:49,713 --> 00:17:50,798 [JOAN] Uh... 501 00:17:50,964 --> 00:17:52,716 Just some small musings, really. 502 00:17:52,883 --> 00:17:56,178 Just you... just your thoughts on what it all means. 503 00:17:56,345 --> 00:18:00,974 [JOAN] It is possible to continue this conversation at another time? 504 00:18:01,141 --> 00:18:03,977 [JOYCE] Well, uh, actually, 505 00:18:04,144 --> 00:18:08,148 um, we're having an after-party, 506 00:18:08,315 --> 00:18:10,776 um, which you should come to. 507 00:18:10,943 --> 00:18:12,903 Um, and we can... we can chat there 508 00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:14,988 if you like and talk about life 509 00:18:15,155 --> 00:18:18,200 and star signs and... [CHUCKLES] 510 00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:19,493 - Um... - [JOAN] Oh. 511 00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:21,870 - There you go. - [JOAN] Yeah. 512 00:18:22,037 --> 00:18:23,956 Is this in the valley? 513 00:18:26,083 --> 00:18:27,668 - [PROJECTOR WHIRRING] - [BANG ON DOOR] 514 00:18:27,835 --> 00:18:29,711 Help me push this against the door. 515 00:18:29,878 --> 00:18:31,213 - It might buy us some time. - [DOUG] Stop it. 516 00:18:35,384 --> 00:18:36,802 [JOYCE] Her-her-her eyes were smiling. 517 00:18:36,969 --> 00:18:38,220 You know? Like-like-like, 518 00:18:38,387 --> 00:18:41,431 - from ear to ear. Oh! - [CANISTERS CLATTER] 519 00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:44,726 [DOUG] Oh, God, no! [GROANS] 520 00:18:44,893 --> 00:18:46,186 - [SHELLY] Oh! Oh, God. - [DOUG GRUNTS] 521 00:18:46,353 --> 00:18:47,354 [SHELLY] Oh, that's terrible. 522 00:18:47,521 --> 00:18:48,939 [DOUG] Find reel four. 523 00:18:49,106 --> 00:18:50,274 - [JOYCE] All right. Jesus. - [RICHIE] Oh, okay. 524 00:18:50,274 --> 00:18:51,608 I haven't seen any of it. How am I supposed to know 525 00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:52,901 - what's in reel four? - [DOUG] Shout it out. 526 00:18:53,068 --> 00:18:55,487 - I'll know. - [RICHIE] I've got, uh, pubic shaving. 527 00:18:55,654 --> 00:18:57,072 Is this the nurse making whoopie? 528 00:18:57,239 --> 00:18:59,116 There's a straw coming out of her vagina. 529 00:18:59,283 --> 00:19:01,160 That's Coke dildo. [PANTS] 530 00:19:01,326 --> 00:19:02,494 Coke dildo starts reel four. 531 00:19:02,661 --> 00:19:03,661 [DOUG] All right, give me reel four. 532 00:19:03,704 --> 00:19:05,497 It's reel four. Give it to me. 533 00:19:05,664 --> 00:19:07,040 Thank you. Come on. 534 00:19:07,207 --> 00:19:09,001 [JOYCE] Oh, my God. Give me that. 535 00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:10,335 - Come on. - [DOUG] Fuck! 536 00:19:10,502 --> 00:19:13,422 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS] 537 00:19:13,589 --> 00:19:15,257 [SINGER] ? Something's wrong ? 538 00:19:15,424 --> 00:19:17,426 - [BOTH YELL] - [JOYCE] Je... God, reel four. 539 00:19:17,593 --> 00:19:19,887 ? ? 540 00:19:20,053 --> 00:19:22,347 [DOCTOR] Case 358. Albert Finster. Age 25. 541 00:19:22,514 --> 00:19:24,183 Bachelor. 542 00:19:24,349 --> 00:19:25,809 Has an obsession in finding out 543 00:19:25,976 --> 00:19:28,437 that things really do go better with Coke. 544 00:19:28,604 --> 00:19:30,981 - Relax your muscles... - [PROJECTOR WHIRS] 545 00:19:31,148 --> 00:19:32,816 [PROJECTOR BEEPS] 546 00:19:32,983 --> 00:19:34,735 [SINGER] ? I'd like to try ? 547 00:19:34,902 --> 00:19:37,362 [LAUGHTER] 548 00:19:37,529 --> 00:19:41,283 ? Please don't think less of me ? 549 00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:43,869 ? I'd like to drink a little Coke ? 550 00:19:44,036 --> 00:19:45,871 [JOYCE] All right. 551 00:19:46,038 --> 00:19:48,332 Oh. Thank you. [CHUCKLES] You're very kind. 552 00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:50,000 Thank you. 553 00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:52,252 Hi, hello. 554 00:19:52,419 --> 00:19:54,046 Did you enjoy it? Love your boa. 555 00:19:54,213 --> 00:19:55,797 'Kay, thank you. Great to meet you. 556 00:19:55,964 --> 00:19:58,300 Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. 557 00:19:58,467 --> 00:19:59,968 All right, you should put some ice on that, 558 00:20:00,135 --> 00:20:01,720 because we have an after-party to host. 559 00:20:01,887 --> 00:20:03,639 Thought you nixed that. Who was it, Joyce Carol Oates 560 00:20:03,805 --> 00:20:05,390 in the bathtub, reading a book or something? 561 00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:07,851 No, it's Joan Didion, and she's coming to the party, okay? 562 00:20:08,018 --> 00:20:11,855 She might actually be writing about Deep Throat for our magazine. 563 00:20:12,022 --> 00:20:13,815 Oh, God, this really is a cultural phenomenon. 564 00:20:13,982 --> 00:20:15,400 - Uh... it's not gonna happen. - [JOYCE] Hi. 565 00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:16,818 We don't have time to throw a party. 566 00:20:16,985 --> 00:20:18,487 What? No, it's fine. Constance is all over it. 567 00:20:18,654 --> 00:20:19,947 She's got a caterer on retainer. 568 00:20:20,113 --> 00:20:21,698 - Constance... - [JOYCE] Yeah. 569 00:20:21,865 --> 00:20:23,784 ... is gonna stock the booze for one of our parties? 570 00:20:23,951 --> 00:20:25,160 - Yeah. - [DOUG CHUCKLING] No. 571 00:20:25,327 --> 00:20:26,495 - [JOYCE] Why? - No, no, if we're gonna do it, 572 00:20:26,662 --> 00:20:27,829 it's gotta be Tina. I'll send Tina. 573 00:20:27,996 --> 00:20:29,146 - She knows what good... - Tina! Where is Tina? 574 00:20:29,248 --> 00:20:30,874 I haven't seen her all evening. Thank you. 575 00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:33,377 Hi! Oh, my God, hi. 576 00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:37,172 ["IF IT'S ALRIGHT, IT'S GONNA BE ALL NIGHT" PLAYING] 577 00:20:37,172 --> 00:20:38,507 [BAMBI CHUCKLES] Enjoy! 578 00:20:38,674 --> 00:20:41,802 ? ? 579 00:20:42,928 --> 00:20:44,429 - Great choice. - [SINGER] ? Oh, baby ? 580 00:20:44,596 --> 00:20:46,598 ? If it's all right... ? 581 00:20:46,765 --> 00:20:48,016 [LENNY] No, no, I liked it. I liked it. 582 00:20:48,183 --> 00:20:50,310 Of course, I've had a lot of women patients, 583 00:20:50,477 --> 00:20:51,520 but the only thing I've ever found 584 00:20:51,687 --> 00:20:53,981 in the back of a woman's throat is esophageal cancer. 585 00:20:54,147 --> 00:20:55,274 - [CHUCKLING] - So another... oh, yeah. 586 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,858 Hey, you're driving. 587 00:20:57,025 --> 00:20:58,360 [BAMBI] Oh, the green ones are for focus. 588 00:20:58,527 --> 00:21:00,487 Astronauts take them to survive reentry. 589 00:21:00,654 --> 00:21:03,031 - You can have half. - [BAMBI] Ooh. 590 00:21:03,032 --> 00:21:05,362 - Give it. - [KEVIN] I love what you did with the lens flare. 591 00:21:05,363 --> 00:21:06,600 It makes you feel like someone's looking. 592 00:21:06,601 --> 00:21:07,660 [RICHIE] Most people get derailed 593 00:21:07,661 --> 00:21:09,162 - by the monster cock. - [CHUCKLES] 594 00:21:09,329 --> 00:21:11,206 Oh. Funny and talented. 595 00:21:11,373 --> 00:21:12,874 Hope you're ready to hit the big time. 596 00:21:13,041 --> 00:21:14,584 - [RICHIE CHUCKLES] Okay. - [GLASSES CLINK] 597 00:21:14,751 --> 00:21:17,254 [DOUG] Well, the difference is, cane's got a crook, 598 00:21:17,421 --> 00:21:19,548 whereas this baby right here... check that out. 599 00:21:19,715 --> 00:21:23,051 Nepalese fire opal. 600 00:21:23,218 --> 00:21:25,512 - They say it's cursed. - [LAUGHTER] 601 00:21:25,679 --> 00:21:28,098 [CHUCKLES] I say it's expensive. 602 00:21:28,265 --> 00:21:29,891 - [BAMBI] Ahem. - [DOUG] A great piece. 603 00:21:30,058 --> 00:21:33,603 [SINGER] ? I know you're gonna make it all right ? 604 00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:36,565 [LAUGHTER] 605 00:21:41,570 --> 00:21:43,030 [PERSON] Oh, yeah? When I was a kid, 606 00:21:43,196 --> 00:21:44,573 I thought a blow job was someone 607 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,325 literally blowing on your dick. 608 00:21:46,491 --> 00:21:48,201 No, the first time I saw a penis, 609 00:21:48,368 --> 00:21:50,454 I thought it was a long belly button. 610 00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:53,707 What kind of wackos send these unsolicited? 611 00:21:53,874 --> 00:21:55,959 Aw, grandpa thinks he belongs in a magazine. 612 00:21:56,126 --> 00:21:57,586 [LAUGHTER] 613 00:21:57,753 --> 00:21:59,421 That's Wayne. He has a purple heart. 614 00:21:59,588 --> 00:22:00,881 [JOYCE] Yeah. And a purple penis. 615 00:22:02,257 --> 00:22:05,218 Um... 616 00:22:05,385 --> 00:22:06,803 [PERSON] Hey, can I get a refill? 617 00:22:06,970 --> 00:22:08,805 [LAUGHTER] 618 00:22:08,972 --> 00:22:10,349 [SINGER] ? Now, I know that when I take you... ? 619 00:22:13,685 --> 00:22:15,354 [CONSTANCE] Ah, nothing more attractive 620 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,939 than a man doing the dishes. 621 00:22:18,106 --> 00:22:19,941 You know, if you were 20 years younger, 622 00:22:20,108 --> 00:22:21,610 I might just lock you away in my tower. 623 00:22:21,777 --> 00:22:23,278 [DOUG] Well, if you were ten years older, 624 00:22:23,445 --> 00:22:24,905 - I might let ya. - [CONSTANCE CHUCKLES] 625 00:22:25,072 --> 00:22:26,448 I'm just sayin' my goodbyes. 626 00:22:26,615 --> 00:22:27,908 Not bad for our maiden voyage, huh? 627 00:22:28,075 --> 00:22:29,284 What do you think? You happy? 628 00:22:29,451 --> 00:22:31,078 I especially appreciate the way you handled 629 00:22:31,244 --> 00:22:34,748 the debacle with the missing reels and the police. 630 00:22:34,915 --> 00:22:36,458 - What police? - [CONSTANCE] Mm-hmm. 631 00:22:36,625 --> 00:22:37,625 I know that you're used to taking care 632 00:22:37,626 --> 00:22:40,587 of all these things by yourself, but use me. 633 00:22:40,754 --> 00:22:43,632 I was the DA's third-largest donor, 634 00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:45,509 and that prickly son of a bitch owes me. 635 00:22:45,675 --> 00:22:47,135 Good to know. 636 00:22:47,302 --> 00:22:49,471 But I like what I saw tonight, Douglas. 637 00:22:49,638 --> 00:22:51,598 I'm very excited to roll up our sleeves 638 00:22:51,765 --> 00:22:53,308 and see where this is gonna go. 639 00:22:53,475 --> 00:22:54,475 Me too. 640 00:22:54,559 --> 00:22:56,311 Oh, and by the way, 641 00:22:56,478 --> 00:22:59,981 awfully generous of you to give Joyce the larger office. 642 00:23:00,148 --> 00:23:01,483 You are a gentleman. 643 00:23:05,695 --> 00:23:06,738 [DOUG SIGHS] 644 00:23:09,950 --> 00:23:10,950 Your car is on Mulholland 645 00:23:11,076 --> 00:23:13,703 somewhere between Coldwater and Laurel Canyon. 646 00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:15,372 That Rolls is a piece of shit, and so are you. 647 00:23:15,539 --> 00:23:16,790 I shouldn't have sent you, 648 00:23:16,791 --> 00:23:17,916 but there was no way I could have reached... 649 00:23:17,916 --> 00:23:19,292 Laurel and Coldwater? 650 00:23:19,459 --> 00:23:20,710 That's a two-mile stretch, Teens. 651 00:23:20,877 --> 00:23:22,254 [TINA] Tough shit. 652 00:23:22,421 --> 00:23:25,090 I just walked into a big-ass party that I wasn't invited to 653 00:23:25,257 --> 00:23:27,592 for a movie I didn't get to see. 654 00:23:27,759 --> 00:23:28,759 [DOUG] Go back to the party, guys. 655 00:23:28,802 --> 00:23:30,804 Have fun. Tina, please, 656 00:23:30,971 --> 00:23:31,972 you think that was my intention? 657 00:23:32,139 --> 00:23:33,348 There was no way I could reach you. 658 00:23:33,515 --> 00:23:35,559 [TINA] R�sum�s for my replacement. 659 00:23:35,725 --> 00:23:37,978 I am the managing editor, Doug, not your secretary. 660 00:23:38,145 --> 00:23:40,188 If you need me, I'll be drinking 661 00:23:40,355 --> 00:23:42,482 your secret Scotch in Joyce's office. 662 00:23:42,649 --> 00:23:44,025 That's where the fun seems to be. 663 00:23:44,192 --> 00:23:47,821 - [LAUGHTER] - The... the... the only thing 664 00:23:47,988 --> 00:23:49,156 I've found at the back of a woman's throat 665 00:23:49,322 --> 00:23:51,825 - is a swollen uvula. - [ALL LAUGH] 666 00:23:53,034 --> 00:23:54,619 Okay, these pills are definitely making me funnier. 667 00:23:54,786 --> 00:23:56,371 - Can I have the other half now? - [SHELLY] No. It's 2:00 a.m. 668 00:23:56,538 --> 00:23:57,998 The sitter probably thinks we're dead. 669 00:23:58,165 --> 00:23:59,791 Okay, so what's another hour? 670 00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:01,585 You've had enough, okay? 671 00:24:01,751 --> 00:24:04,588 Y-you can tell all your friends tomorrow at the club 672 00:24:04,754 --> 00:24:08,091 about your big party with the porn stars. 673 00:24:08,258 --> 00:24:10,886 That's what you think this night is about? 674 00:24:11,052 --> 00:24:12,679 Shell... 675 00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:17,142 Something is going on with you, and I don't know what. 676 00:24:17,309 --> 00:24:18,852 And I-I don't quite know why, but I just figured 677 00:24:18,919 --> 00:24:19,978 it would be good for us to get away 678 00:24:19,978 --> 00:24:21,979 from the kids and the house and the responsibilities, 679 00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:23,106 try to have a little fun together? 680 00:24:24,733 --> 00:24:26,109 I would like that, too, 681 00:24:26,276 --> 00:24:29,070 to have some fun with you. 682 00:24:29,613 --> 00:24:31,865 Look, I love you. 683 00:24:32,032 --> 00:24:33,533 And-and whatever this is, 684 00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:35,243 I wanna figure it out with you. 685 00:24:35,410 --> 00:24:36,411 Do whatever it takes. 686 00:24:38,747 --> 00:24:40,499 I do still have that other half, so... 687 00:24:42,876 --> 00:24:44,252 [LENNY CHUCKLES] 688 00:24:44,419 --> 00:24:46,004 [SINGER] ? ... to your lips, darlin' ? 689 00:24:47,506 --> 00:24:51,343 ? It's poison to some ? 690 00:24:51,510 --> 00:24:52,719 [SHELLY SIGHS] Come with me. 691 00:24:52,886 --> 00:24:53,929 I know a place. 692 00:24:55,639 --> 00:24:57,432 [INDISTINCT] ... kiss. 693 00:24:58,225 --> 00:25:00,101 - [BOTH] Oh. - [RICHIE] Watch out, 694 00:25:00,268 --> 00:25:01,561 the cabinet on the left is a little wobbly. 695 00:25:01,728 --> 00:25:03,772 - [SHELLY] Okay. - [RICHIE CHUCKLES] 696 00:25:07,108 --> 00:25:08,485 [JOAN] You're the belle of the ball. 697 00:25:08,652 --> 00:25:10,779 [JOYCE] Joan! Hi. 698 00:25:10,946 --> 00:25:12,864 I didn't know you were here. Hi. 699 00:25:13,031 --> 00:25:14,324 [JOAN] That's by design. 700 00:25:14,491 --> 00:25:15,491 [JOYCE] Oh. 701 00:25:17,035 --> 00:25:18,995 Is that your notebook? 702 00:25:19,162 --> 00:25:21,414 Are you-are you considering writing the piece? 703 00:25:21,581 --> 00:25:24,376 [SIGHS] I don't think I have much to say about Deep Throat. 704 00:25:25,377 --> 00:25:27,796 Oh. Really? 705 00:25:27,963 --> 00:25:29,464 Mm. 706 00:25:29,631 --> 00:25:31,800 But doesn't it seem like people are longing 707 00:25:31,967 --> 00:25:35,637 for a way to be more open about sexuality 708 00:25:35,804 --> 00:25:39,808 and-and to ask questions without feeling shame? 709 00:25:39,975 --> 00:25:43,144 And so they've turned this ridiculous movie into this spectacle 710 00:25:43,311 --> 00:25:46,064 to give themselves a way to do just that. 711 00:25:46,231 --> 00:25:47,774 And, do you know, I don't think it stops there. 712 00:25:47,941 --> 00:25:49,859 I-I think... I don't know. 713 00:25:50,026 --> 00:25:51,903 This feels like the beginning of something. 714 00:25:52,070 --> 00:25:54,364 [SINGER] ? It's poison for some ? 715 00:25:54,531 --> 00:25:56,449 Sounds like you've already started writing it. 716 00:25:56,616 --> 00:25:58,785 [SINGER] ? So wait like a lady ? 717 00:25:58,952 --> 00:26:02,998 ? Lady, lady, lady ? ? Lady, lady, lady ? 718 00:26:03,164 --> 00:26:05,125 ? Wait like a lady ? ? Wait like a lady ? 719 00:26:05,292 --> 00:26:07,377 ? Lady, lady, lady... ? 720 00:26:07,544 --> 00:26:10,088 [DOUG SIGHS] 721 00:26:10,797 --> 00:26:13,091 - [BAMBI] Hey. - [DOUG] Hey. 722 00:26:13,258 --> 00:26:14,926 Well, this is the biggest party we've ever thrown. 723 00:26:15,093 --> 00:26:16,386 [DOUG] Oh, by far. 724 00:26:18,305 --> 00:26:19,639 Ernest Borgnine and Warren Beatty 725 00:26:19,806 --> 00:26:21,016 came to blows in the parking lot. 726 00:26:21,182 --> 00:26:23,643 What? Why didn't anybody come tell me? 727 00:26:23,810 --> 00:26:26,021 It wasn't a fair fight. 728 00:26:26,187 --> 00:26:27,564 Ernie dropped with one punch. 729 00:26:27,731 --> 00:26:29,858 Ugh, I fucking missed everything. 730 00:26:33,403 --> 00:26:35,196 I think I like the old parties better. 731 00:26:35,363 --> 00:26:37,449 Yeah. Porn's gone mainstream. 732 00:26:39,826 --> 00:26:44,205 [TYPEWRITER CLACKING] 733 00:26:46,207 --> 00:26:47,959 [GROANS] 734 00:26:49,711 --> 00:26:50,879 [TYPEWRITER DINGS] 735 00:26:52,505 --> 00:26:55,216 ["NUMBER ONE" PLAYING] 736 00:26:55,383 --> 00:26:58,219 ? ? 737 00:26:59,846 --> 00:27:04,059 [SINGER] ? My daddy said ? 738 00:27:06,186 --> 00:27:11,232 ? Son, the time's done come ? 739 00:27:13,068 --> 00:27:16,154 ? I'm gonna turn you loose and let go your hand ? 740 00:27:16,321 --> 00:27:20,116 ? You got to go in the world and prove yourself a man ? 741 00:27:22,243 --> 00:27:24,329 ? 'Cause you been put down here ? 742 00:27:24,496 --> 00:27:26,122 ? To be number one ? 743 00:27:26,289 --> 00:27:27,999 ? You've got to rise in the morning ? 744 00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:30,001 ? And meet the sun ? 745 00:27:30,168 --> 00:27:33,004 ? You gotta sit at the table and break the bread ? 746 00:27:33,171 --> 00:27:34,673 ? And if the blood in your veins ? 747 00:27:34,839 --> 00:27:36,591 ? Is runnin' red ? 748 00:27:36,758 --> 00:27:38,468 ? Then you ought to be a man ? 749 00:27:38,635 --> 00:27:41,304 ? Or you might as well be dead ? 750 00:27:41,471 --> 00:27:44,307 ? ? 751 00:27:47,185 --> 00:27:51,398 ? My daddy said ? 752 00:27:53,817 --> 00:27:57,862 ? Son, the time's done come ? 753 00:28:00,532 --> 00:28:03,952 ? You got to look all around ? ? Find a solid stone ? 754 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:05,620 ? You got to make things ready ? 755 00:28:05,787 --> 00:28:09,708 ? And build yourself a home ? 756 00:28:09,874 --> 00:28:11,918 ? 'Cause you been put down here ? 757 00:28:12,085 --> 00:28:13,962 ? To be number one ? 758 00:28:14,129 --> 00:28:15,380 ? You got to rise in the morning ? 759 00:28:15,547 --> 00:28:17,716 ? And meet the sun ? 760 00:28:17,882 --> 00:28:20,468 ? You got to sit at the table and break the bread ? 761 00:28:20,635 --> 00:28:22,554 ? And if the blood in your veins ? 762 00:28:22,721 --> 00:28:24,347 ? Is runnin' red ? 763 00:28:24,514 --> 00:28:25,849 ? Then you ought to be a man ? 764 00:28:26,015 --> 00:28:27,851 ? Or you might as well be dead ? 765 00:28:28,017 --> 00:28:29,644 [DOUG] Eighteen. 766 00:28:32,063 --> 00:28:34,190 Motherfuck. 767 00:28:34,941 --> 00:28:38,486 [SINGER] ? My daddy said ? 768 00:28:41,781 --> 00:28:45,785 ? Son, the time's done come ? 769 00:28:47,996 --> 00:28:49,581 ? You got to find you a woman ? 770 00:28:49,748 --> 00:28:51,916 ? And treat her good ? 771 00:28:52,083 --> 00:28:55,003 ? Do your duty like you know you should ? 772 00:28:55,170 --> 00:28:58,465 ? You'll never have to worry 'bout bein' alone ? 773 00:28:58,631 --> 00:29:01,551 ? The woman's gonna make you a happy home ? 774 00:29:04,262 --> 00:29:06,139 ? 'Cause you been put down here ? 775 00:29:06,306 --> 00:29:08,099 ? To be number one ? 776 00:29:08,266 --> 00:29:09,934 ? You got to rise in the morning ? 777 00:29:10,101 --> 00:29:11,936 ? And meet the sun ? 778 00:29:12,103 --> 00:29:14,898 ? You got to sit at the table and break the bread ? 779 00:29:15,064 --> 00:29:16,441 ? And if the blood in your veins ? 780 00:29:16,608 --> 00:29:18,234 ? Is runnin' red ? 781 00:29:18,401 --> 00:29:20,361 ? Then you ought to be a man ? 782 00:29:20,528 --> 00:29:24,908 ? Or you might as well be dead ? 783 00:29:29,662 --> 00:29:32,540 ? Then you ought to be a man ? 784 00:29:32,707 --> 00:29:38,171 ? Or you might as well be dead ? 785 00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:46,805 ? ? 786 00:29:46,855 --> 00:29:51,405 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 57977

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.